Conference back40::soapbox

    
    Tory MP's are very honourable and trustworthy people.
    
    Bill Clinton is the most popular President since Jimmeh Cawruh
    
    Gene Haag is scared of loud noises
    
    John Covert is a proddy
    
    Mailroom is actually Boutros-Boutros Ghalli in disguise
    
    Nelson Mandela is actually white 
    
    The BoxMods are all members of the CIA

    Muesli is good for you
    
    The soapbox conference is working perfectly
    
    Sex is over rated
    
    The NHS is safe in tory hands
    
    We are putting the customer first
    
    Performance related pay is fair
    
    The world needs another design of screw head
    
    Cencorship will stop children dieing
    
    
    
    r. Michael.

Rush Limbaugh and Bill Clinton actually agree on a lot of things

    
    
    
    Actually this happened yesterday.  Media is saying that Rush Limbuagh
    had an influence on the guy who shot up the Whitehouse.
    

	Amazing how the media can see things that nobody else can see.

ME

	This is the greatest company on the face of this earth to work for,
	Really, honest..................%^)

	DEC stock jumps up 150 points!

    Now, Glen, you know a stock can't go _negative_.

Snarfs are witty.

    Carvings are whittley.

	So isn't JoAnne

Witty, whittley, or made up/fictional?

Note 46.4 by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER 
    
    >Actually this happened yesterday.  Media is saying that Rush Limbuagh
    >had an influence on the guy who shot up the Whitehouse.
    
    this is typical of how the liberal media thinks in its attempt to shape
    the minds of the american brain dead. the reality is that slick had
    more influence on the guy shooting up the WH than anyone. by a long
    shot too.

    
    .13
    
    Speaking of long shots gene, did you bag any pickups while hunting
    the wily and elusive wapiti last week??
    
    Mark

Note 46.14 by POBOX::BATTIS
    
    >Speaking of long shots gene, did you bag any pickups while hunting
    >the wily and elusive wapiti last week??
    
    do try to keep up. i had to cancel the wapiti hunt.

    
    
    Gene, did you see my magnificant write up of what you were doing on
    your trip in the old box? :')

Note 46.16 by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER 
    
    >Gene, did you see my magnificant write up of what you were doing on
    >your trip in the old box? :')
    
    no. and since the "old" box ain't even around, i don't spect i ever
    will.

    
    .17
    
    Well, Haag, if you *want* to, the old 'Box *can* be accessed at
    
    ALPHAZ::OLD_SOAPBOX
    

    There is no such thing as a Old Soapbox Fart....... :)

    people in hell want ice water to boys.

    Two questions:
    
    Do you know how to smile, partner.
    
    Do you know how to smile. :-)
    
    

    
    >>Do you know how to smile, partner.
    
    
    those that matter don't have to ask.

    Gene's less than agreeable after what happened on his hunt...

    
    
    it is true that if you eat enough hershy kisses you will develope a
    strange addiction to aluminum foil
    
    

    .24
    
    Does that also mean if you eat aluminum foil you'll get a strange
    addition to baked potatoes?

    And if you eat baked potatoes you'll get a strange addiction to skin.

    
    <-- that's me, ooh-er

    
        I don't think any of that will happen, you'll just get fat!!!!

    
    If you go into the North End, you have to eat pasta!!
    

    
    
    but we didn't eat no pasta...just everything else...or so it seemed...
    
    

	Nancy..... I think you might have discovered why Jeffery Dahmer was a
cannable......

    Cannibal, but you knew that....
    
    

    
    RE: .30
    
    >but we didn't eat no pasta...just everything else...or so it seemed...
    
     My dear raq....
    
    You being a lady, would include the word "we", but the truth be told,
    you behaved yourself properly...
    
     On the other hand, it did seem as if some of "us" tried to eat
    everything and anything in sight!! :) :)
    
      My only excuse is that I do it seldom, and have the wherewithal to
    alleviate the excess...
    
    :)
    

    
    
    the wherewhatal?????
    
    
    

    
    
    <-------------
    
     My aerobics classes, which I HAVE to teach... so there's no excuse!!!
    
     :)
    

    
    RE: .34
    
    
    >then again, if i could have made up my mind...
    
     You did spend a bit of time trying to do that... didn't you!
     
     But just think of all the calories you expended going up and down the
    great hall so many times!!! (and me following you the whole way! :)
    

    well, there's nothing wrong with having a stud in tow... :>
    
    
    

    
    Newt Gingrich was caught smokin' dope in the men's room.
    A subsequent search of his office revealed more than an 
    ounce of high-quality hydroponically-grown doobage.
    

    
    In a marked change of policy, Federal Reserve Board chairman Alan
    Greenspan announced "No Interest" loans.  "Let's have a party,"
    quipped the Fed chairman, donning a party hat....
    
      bb

	Joan, they really called it doobage? 

    Digital Equip. Corp and Motorola have agreed in principle to merge. You
    will recall that Motorola purchased the Scottland facility for an
    undisclosed ammount. Late last week Digital hired Mr. Pugh (sp) from
    Motorola as V.P. of over seas manufacturing. 

    Can I do this...today is Monday???

    But is it untrue ?

    To soon to tell.

It's always Friday in the make-up-a-fact topic.

For the X-Files fans in the group:

Rumor has it that in future episodes, Sculley and Skinner will be falling in
love. Moulder (sp?) and Deep Throat will also become an item.

    
    Friday's x-files seemed like a terrible rip-off of "The Thing".  But
    the two parter a few weeks ago (with Moulder's sister coming back and
    all that) was a real barn burner.
    
    Moulder had a funny line (for him anyway) this past week when the men
    had to go into the room and strip to inspect each other for the signs
    of the parasite on their bodies.  As Moulder began to take off his
    pants he said, "before any of you pass judgement, remember, this *is*
    the arctic".  Pretty good one.
    
    jeff

    Mulder.  ("Moulder" is something one does in the grave.)

 "prescedence" is a variant.

    
    	Similarly, can "vice prescedence" be used?
    

    
    Rich and famous people are hogging all the good livers.
    

    
    The moral decay of our society is in such a state that
    it leaves us no option but to return to biblical values.
    
    
     

    Does that mean paying taxes by pulling coins out of fish ?
    
    Oh dear.

    
    	Undies don't stick to your butt in warm weather if you spread
    	peanut butter on your cheeks.
    

    
    You all don't care about the truth.
    

| <<< Note 46.56 by BUSY::SLABOUNTY "Trouble with a capital 'T'" >>>


| Undies don't stick to your butt in warm weather if you spread
| peanut butter on your cheeks.

	orrrrrrrr..... they don't stick if you don't wear them.....

	re : .54    too funny...... :-)

    will that mean your underwear will stick to the roof of your mouth?
                                  ^^^^

    re .60
    
    that's a bit hard to swallow   8^)
    
    
    and it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth just thinking about it.
                    

    
    Yo, Robertson...what time is it there, about 23:15?  
    
    Try to get some sleep!    ;^)
    

    yup, 22:32
    just about to hit the sack  8^)
    
    

    
    Gee, this reminds me of the piece I saw in the past week about the
    reverend who has sick people rub his soiled underwear on their ailing
    parts for devine healing.  Of course he charged around $60 a pop for
    these things.......
    

    
    >...$60 a pop...
    
    are you sure that wasn't $60 a poop 8^o?
    
    
    Sorry, I know, bathroom humour 8^(.
    
    

    
    Republicans have never touched the stuff.
    

Republicans save themselves for marriage.

    Republicans never vote for men who have trophy wives.

    
    
    I voted for George Bush......

	Mr Topaz..... it is kind ironic what note number your note ended up at.

	no, mine isn't THAT high! :-)  Dems and 69..... seems from last years
elections, they screwed themselves.... 

Green M&M's make you pregnant.
Blue M&M's make you sterile.

During this upcoming 4-day weekend for us 'Murricans, the Aussies,
Brits and Canucks are going to refrain from trashing Boxland while
we do our patriotic duty in celebrating the holiday, and we won't
have to clean up any messes come Wednesday, July 5th.

There won't be any 'Murrican boxers paying attention in here over the
long weekend, as we'll all be patriotically involved.

    Uh-huh !
    
    Well we'll try not to trash it too much !!! :*)
    
    Have a good one.

    
    It's a three-day weekend in Canada, but on Tuesday, the 'box is
    fair game!!
    
    :^)
    

    i will not have one scotch this weekend...

     No, you'll have several. ;-)

    But will they be Macallan?

     You think he's a single malt guy?

    Cutty?  Bleah!

     Iffen he's a single malt drinker, my blasphemy will send him into
    apoplexy and he'll start hurling names like Dalwhinnie, Laphroaig,
    Glenmorangie, Bowmore and Springbank. ;-)

    Chivas is a favorite but i like Glenlivet just as much, hmmmmmm...

    Chivas is barely tolerable.  Glenlivet, at least, is good scotch.

    >Chivas is barely tolerable.  Glenlivet, at least, is good scotch.
    
     I can't tell the difference. I've never acquired a taste for scotch.
    it all tastes just awful to me (not that I've ever tried a single malt
    but...)

    
    > it all tastes just awful to me
    
    That's what my wife said when she tried it.  To which the standard
    reply is: "And you think I'm out having fun down the pub every night...."
    

        Malt distilleries (current as of 1978)/af

        Aberfeldy               Glenallachie            Laphroaig       
        Aberlour-Glenlivet      Glenburgie-Glenlivet    Ledaig
        Ardbeg                  Glencadam               Linkwood
        Ardmore                 Glendronach             Littlemill
        Auchentoshan            Glendullan              Loch Lomond
        Auchriosk               Glen Elgin              Lochnagar
        Aultmore                Glenfarclas-Glenlivet   Lochside
        Balblair                Glenfiddich             Lomond
        Balmenach               Glen Foyle              Longmorn-Glenlivet
        Balvenie                Glengarioch             Macallan
        Banff                   Glenlassaugh            Macduff
        Ben Nevis               Glengoyne               Mannochmore
        Ben Riach-Glenlivet     Glen Grant-Glenlivet    Milburn
        Benrinnes               Glen Keith-Glenlivet    Miltonduff-Glenlivet
        Benromach-Glenlivet     Glenkinchie             Moffat
        Ben Wyvis               Glenlivet, The          Mortlach
        Bladnoch                Glenlochy               North Port
        Blair Atholl            Glenlossie              Oban
        Bowmore                 Glen Mhor               Ord
        Braes of Glenlivet      Glenmorangie            Pittyvaich-Glenlivet
        Bruichladdich           Glen Moray-Glenlivet    Port Ellen
        Bunnahabhain            Glen Rothes-Glenlivet   Pultaney
        Caol Ila                Glen Scotia             Rosebank
        Caperdonich             Glen Spey               Royal Brackla
        Cardow                  Glentauchers            St. Magdalene
        Clynelish               Glenturret              Scapa
        Coleburn                Glenugie                Speyburn
        Convalmore              Glenury-Royal           Speyside
        Cragganmore             Highland Park           Springbank
        Craigellachie           Hillside                Strathisla-Glenlivet
        Dailuaine               Imperial                Strathmill
        Dallas Dhu              Inchgower               Talisker
        Dalmore                 Inverleven              Tamdhu-Glenlivet
        Dalwhinnie              Isle of Jura            Tamnavulin-Glenlivet
        Deanston                Kinclaith               Teannich
        Dufftown-Glenlivet      Knockando               Tomatin
        Edradour                Knockdhu                Tomintoul-Glenlivet
        Fettercairn             Ladyburn                Tormore
        Glen Albyn              Lagavulin               Tullibardine
        
        

    Glenugie - What Silva gets for being a rabble rouser and bringing the
    downfall or civilization as we know it :-).  

    .87 your opinion... I prefer the Salute to the 12yr. old stuff.
    
    as always with this stuff, your mileage may vary.

No Glen Silva?

What do Michael Jackson (the single-malt aficionado) and Michael Jackson
(the singer) have in common?



They both like 12-year-olds.

    <-----
    
    Gerald ! 
    
    You a NASTY BOY ! !
    
    :-)
    Dan

    
    Newt has announced his bid for the Presidency.
    

     
    O.J. has escaped.
    

    I'm having a good day.

    
    People will SNARF no more......

    
    I've decided to vote for the Clintons...
    
    -b

    
    I really like the way the lady in the next cube sings while
    she's working...
    
    -b

    
    I prefer flat-chested women.
    
    -b

    
    
    Brian,
    
    
    You have one of them singers in the cube next to you too, eh? 

    
    RE: -1
    
    Yes I do. It's lovely and all, but what I'd really like is a
    bit of Chinese water torture... :-)
    
    -b

    Brian:
    
    Do you CHASE her around the office???  Let me repeat that...do you...
    
    
    
    
    CHASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE her around the office??
    
    
    
    Does Joe CHASSSSSEEEEEE her around the office too???
    
    -Jack

    
    The people in the cubes next to me ASK me to sing, so there 8^pPppPp!

    
    I prefer women with smaller specialized sweat glands...
    
    -b

    
    Glen Silva will actually listen to what Christine Kelly has to say and
    not lash out stupidly... this because he has finally subdued his
    enormous ego.
    

    .109 as opposed to a fictitional fact

    
     Well, gee, I sit corrected then.  I bought a few (very neat)
    Victoronix genuine Swiss Army knives.  But I never saw ANY Swiss
    navy ones.
    
     bb

    
    .113
    
    Yes, I've only seen them in red 8^).
    
    

    
    Jack Martin fired from the grassy knoll.
    

    
    Jack Martin's been fired !
    
    Who'da thunk it?
    

    
    In the early '70s, Brian Markey hung with Democrats.  He even pretended
    to BE one, just to score with some lefty bimbo.
    

    
    Brian Markey hung?  I don't believe it.

    
>>    In the early '70s, Brian Markey hung with Democrats.  He even pretended
>>    to BE one, just to score with some lefty bimbo.

    with sensible shoes!

    (she said, cathartically)
    

    
    ...and *that* lefty bimbo was...
    
    
    Janet Reno.
    
    And now you know...
    
    ...the rrrrrrrrest of the storrrrry.
    

    
    <------------
    
    Where's the "gak" note ?
    

>    with sensible shoes!

Birkenstocks.

    
    My sister wears those 8^p.
    
    In the winter, she wears them with socks.
    
    
    Honestly, I don't know what happened to her.  It's hard to believe
    we're from the same family 8^).
    
    

    sounds like a real sex kitten. ;-)

    
    .125
    
    Birkensocks?
    

    
    in the early 70s, i was 11 or 12. if i hung with democrats, it
    was purely because they: 1) could pitch and/or hit or 2) had
    pictures of naked women. at the time, i had yet to hang with
    an actual naken woman, although if given the opportunity, i
    doubt politics would have been an issue... :-)
    
    -b

    
    Did I say "70s"?  I meant "80s".   ;^)
    

Brian, I doubt if you'll ever hang with a "naken" woman.  Women are seldom
executed by hanging.

    
    Doctah my love, the best way to describe my sister is "crunchy".
    
    

    Hey,
    
    Some of us resemble that remark!
    
    

    
    Oh, I love my sister.  I'm just not sure where her crunch came from,
    being that we were brought up in the very same way.
    
    Probably the last word you'd think of in connection with me would be
    "crunchy".
    
    

    Oh, definitely the very last word I'd think of in connection with you
    is "crunchy."  Unless I were named Grendel.

    
>>    Probably the last word you'd think of in connection with me would be
>>    "crunchy".

    oh now, now, if you mean earthy-crunchy, i do seem to recall someone
    puttering around in her little vegetable garden this summer.  what
    of that... hmmmmm?
    
    

    
    didja ever get most/some way through a thread in this conference
    and have _no_bloody_idea_ what anyone is talking about? i'd
    say the "crunchy" thing is an example. while i surely understand
    mz. deb's disassociation with crunchiness, i also wonder
    exactly what it is...

    -b

    
    The last word you'd think of in association with me is "zwinglian".
    

    Brian, "crunchy" refers to the popular association of hippies, tree-
    huggers, and other similar fringe groups with natural foods, such as
    granola, which is crunchy.

  .137  ;> you are very funny today, oh yes.

    
    
    hey!!!  i actually got that 'grendal' thing!!!!
    
    
    

    B'stocks = Jesus cleats
    Tevas = Synthetic Jesus Cleats suitable for wearing in the H2O, like I
    do.

    
    thank you mr. binder... i feel so.... hip now.
    
    -b

    
    Di, have you ever seen those old commercials that show a woman doing
    her housework all dressed up and wearing pearls and pumps?  That's how
    I do my vegetable gardening 8^).
    

    Slick Willy is a **GREAT** President!

    
    	{barf}

    re: .144
    
    That's even a stretch for this topic, Mike.

    
    It ain't Friday, but what the H*!!.....
    
    Lucky Jack DelBalso is really......
    
    
    ******************
    *  Jerry Garcia  *
    ******************
    
    The man LIVES!

 . . . with a haircut, less hair to begin with, several fewer pounds,
much better health, and fewer bad habits.
   And, better taste in music.

	a person with their health is a very lucky person indeed!

    God, Jack is lucky!

    
    <---- and that ain't no made-up fact!!
    

<----well.... it ISN'T Friday joan.....

    
    It's ALWAYS Friday in Topic 46.   ;^)
    

	did you just make that up?

    
    It's hard to say...
    

	how about to type?

    
    ...possibly...
    

    
    Certain ethnic groups are hogging all the money.
    

    re: .159
    
    You mean certain ethnic groups have all the BUCKs:-)
    
    Bob

        Not bad, Robert!! ;*)
        

	What's Buck got to do with this?

    16% of Perot voters believe "if dolphins were really smart, they could
    get out of those nets."

    
    HAR!
    
    :^)
    

    Actually, that's not a made up fact. Sad, isn't it?

    Good one!

    sure glad I have my hat on facing forward!

    Tnx, anything that can add to the ridicule of those whose heads are
    180 degreez outta phase wiv their hats is fine with me.  I wonder what
    brainless wingnut came up with that fad anyhow.  Any info??  Tnx,
    |-{:-)

    
    Size isn't important.
    
    
    ;^)
    

    and most guys look for women with a personality and a good sense of
    humor

    I've fallen and I can't get up!

	There is a way to put the toilet paper on the roll so the cats will not
be able to take it off.

	This is a lie! My cats figured out how to do this in BOTH
directions!!!! 

    
    Squoosh the roll as flat as you can.  It'll be more difficult for you
    to get the paper off, but pretty much impossible for them.
    
    

    squoosh the cat
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     just kidding, sheesh..............

    
    	How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
    
    		Douse it with gasoline, then drop a lit match on it.
    
    		WOOF!!
    
    	How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
    
    		Freeze it for a couple days, then cut it in half with a
    		circular saw.
    
    		MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!
    

	Deb, we keep the bathroom door closed now..... it's easier than trying
to outsmart them. :-)


Glen

    
    Good move, Glen, because you can NEVER outsmart a cat 8^).
    
    

	I know, Deb.... I know..... when I left for volleyball Sunday I had
just shut off the dishwasher. It's the portable kind. I figured I would put
them away when I got home. When I got back, all the dishes were put away, and
the dishwasher was moved back into its normal spot. I thought wow.... what nice 
cats. Then my roomate told me he did it. That took a while to believe, as I 
thought the cats would figure out how to do it long before he would! 



Glen

    What is it with cats and tissue-like paper products?  My best
    friend has 2 cats.  They are always stealing her Kleenex; I've sat
    and watched them open her closed purse to get at her tissues.  My
    dogs are too smart for their own good, but they've never mastered
    opening the clasp on my purse to get at its contents.
    
    Alas, her cats have taught my poodles how to open cupboard doors, so
    now my 4 fuzz-butts get into everything under the kitchen and bathroom
    sinks :-(
    

	Cats are the real rulers of the world. They allow is to feed them,
allow us to bathe them (on occasion), allow us to work and support them while
they spend the day sleeping, allow us to clean up the hairs they leave behind 
at will, allow us to change their litterbox, allow us to hear something crash
and run out to see them with those cute little faces on so they don't get
punished, and on and on..... they rule, we just think we do. 


Glen

re: .172 

   I thought it was I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!

:-)
kb

    Re cats.
    
    My personal theory is: If cats had thumbs, there'd be no mysteries
    left, they would have figured everything out by now and rule the world.
    

    
    Di!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    
    "wouldn't only"?????????????
    
    
    mz_deb!!!!!!!!   MZ_DEB!!!!!!!!!!
    

    
>>    "wouldn't only"?????????????

	oh sorry - i type "wouldn't help" and then changed
	my mind.  thanks.

    
    Sorry, Andy, I'm not speaking to her after that slanderous comment 8^).
    
    

    Re cats.
    
    My personal theory is: Cats, having brains the size of walnuts, can't
    figure out very much, and having thumbs would only make them look
    totally bizarre.

    So, how big is a cat brain then? Grapefruit sized? Golf ball sized? The
    size of a common cyst? What?

    
    Probably slightly larger than the brain of a typical T-Rex...
    

    
    
    No fair Di!!!!!!!!!!
    

     Our Ladye Di, a revisionista?  Shame.  'Tis one fing to revise until
    yer done & it's right, but as soon as someone catches ya, well common
     decency in 'BoxCulcha is to let it stand & stink... I think... :-)
    
    Anyhow, SSSSHHHHHHAAAAAAYYYYYYMMMMMEEEE on ya.
    
    |-{:-)
    

    Re. Cats.
    
    They're also great moving targets.

    
    
    	Was that supposed to be funny?
    

    
    	Maybe he was making up a fact, a day early.
    

>>   <<< Note 46.191 by DRDAN::KALIKOW "DIGITAL=DEC: ReClaim TheName&Glory!" >>>
>>    yer done & it's right, but as soon as someone catches ya, well common
>>     decency in 'BoxCulcha is to let it stand & stink... I think... :-)

	{gasp}
	that's news to me, dan'l.  since i already acknowledged the
	mistake and it has been immortalized, i thought it mattered not.
	fixing it just makes it easier for newcomers to read the note.

	sorry if that flies in the face of tradition.
	but not very.  remind me to pinch you later. ;>

    >remind me to pinch you later. ;>
    
     It's becoming a veritable refrain. :-)

    As long as it's verifiable.  
    
    I can't wait!!!
    

        Seems the Post Office has just cancelled a new line of stamps
        depicting Johnnie Cochran and other Dream Team members - the
        public couldn't decide which side of the stamp to spit on...
        

    
    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it ironic that
    Johnnie Cochran is suing a fertilizer company?
    
    -b

 Make up a SNARF Thursday!

    
    It's just you _b.

<----- it's -b, NOT _b!!!!!

    
    <--- so sue me

you're now sue....

    Markie Sue, Markie Sue
    Markie Markie Markie Markie Markie Sue! 

The French government is going to set aside funds to aid any children 
adversely affected by the current tests.  There is a 20 year limit to the 
availability of these funds.  Once this time limit expires, the tradition will 
be continues by the Japanese, who will make funds available to whales who have 
been adversely affected by being eaten.


\C

    re .193
    
    Hey, don't take it to heart my lovely. I didn't mean it.
    
    Anyway, you can only get 1 in 4.... damn things move too fast :*)

    
    Boris Yeltsin has been sober.
    

    
    re: .208
    
    And hasn't groped anyone besides his wife for a week!!!
    

    
    	Actually, he hasn't groped anyone BESIDE his wife for a week.
    
    	There's a big difference.
    

    Halloween is really a church holiday.

    Doing anything other than hiding under your bed in fear of the evil
    that walks the Earth on Halloween will guarantee you a spot in Hades.  

    Holloween is a satanic holiday.

    Christians hide under their bed in fear of evil on Halloween.

    
    The most abundant substance in the world is...
    
    ...kittens.
    

    
    
    	Not quite so far fetched.........
    

| <<< Note 46.216 by OUTSRC::HEISER "watchman on the wall" >>>

| Christians hide under their bed in fear of evil on Halloween.

	Some Christians have too much time on their hands.....

    re: -1
    
    I wish I had more time.

<---that would be too damn scary

    
    Prayer adds hours to your day, so I've heard.
    

    <--- That was a good headache snarf.

    
    Kindly refrain from using the word headache and could you possibly talk
    a little quieter ?? 

    
    re: .222
    
    >Prayer adds hours to your day, so I've heard.
    
    So mz_deb...
    
    Did you pray that the Motrin would work????
    

    
    I shoulda prayed this weekend to make it last longer 8^).
    
    

       
       Next weekend will be longer.
       
       I promise.

    
    	How much longer [he asks innocently]?
    
    	Maybe an hour or so?
    

	I wish we could just leave the damn clocks alone. Keep them the way
they are now, and stop setting them back, ahead, back, ahead..... I hate
driving at night, and now it will happen every stinkin day! 


Glen

    Look on the bright side Glen, it starts getting lighter earlier on or
    about 12/22 or so.  

	It wouldn't have to get lighter earlier if we didn't change the stinkin
clocks!!!!!

    just think, around 12/22 it's getting colder than a witch's *^%...

    
    	RE: .231
    
    	Ummm, I think it would get lighter earlier anyways.
    

    Glen obviously doesn't care that our children have to wait at the bus
    stop in the dark.
    
    Glen doesn't really care for children.
    
    

    
    The candy companies lobbied the government to set the 'fall back' date
    just in time for kids to be able to trick-or-treat in the daylight on
    Halloween.
    
    
    
    

    
    	Jack?  When we set the clocks back, it will be darker in the
    	morning.
    

    Jack, Does it stay darker longer in your town New Hampshire?  In 12 years
    that I have had kids in school neither has had to wait in the dark for a
    school bus yet.  If they stay after school for a function, they at times
    have come home in the dark.
    
    Where did ya get the notion that Glen doesn't care for children?  I
    have had conversations with him about his nieces and nephews and have
    watched him around kids.  It has been my observation that he really enjoys
    them.
    
    don

The "kids waiting for the school bus in the dark" (I was one of them) happened
one year during the "Energy Crisis", when the US stayed on daylight savings
time year-round.

    
    re: "kids waiting for the school bus in the dark"
    
    

    
    
    << Well, I invited Glen over my house, for a barbeque
    
    Let me guess jack, he showed up in a hot pink air balloon????
    And, you're still ticked off.

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........

    
    He probably did the Body_Dance.
    

    
    Maybe Jack's kids tried to convert Glen?
    

    
    <--- oh no, not the _Body_Dance_??? No wonder he was ticked off!

    
    	NOW this is getting good.
    
    	I'll put $20 on Glen.
    

    
    I detect a distinct lack of valued differences here! :-)
    
    I really don't want to have to spank you both and send you
    to your rooms!
    
    -b

    
    Oh, yes you do, you pre-vert 8^).
    

    One of them just might like that!

    
    mz_debra, will gladly volunteer for spanking duty.

    
    Thank goodness for that comma.
    
    

| <<< Note 46.250 by MPGS::MARKEY "Fluffy nutter" >>>


| I really don't want to have to spank you both and send you to your rooms!

	My plan has almost worked fully...... push him a little further....:-)

    Jack,
    
    Define shabbily.
    
    How did your kids treat Glen?
    
    Don

  .256 please see the note title, even though it's not Friday.

    Don:
    
    Forget it man!  Glen never came over for a barbeque.  Glen is a great
    guy.  Forget it before you really get me in trouble!!!!!!!!

    
    re: .257
    
    Thanks Di...
    
    
    Glen Silva thinks "harsh" has no relation to "pissed"...
    

| <<< Note 46.256 by MKOTS1::BUTLER "Call me Mr. Coffee!" >>>


| How did your kids treat Glen?

	I never met his kids

    They were probably dressed shabbily then.

| <<< Note 46.259 by SOLVIT::KRAWIECKI "Been complimented by a toady lately?" >>>


| Glen Silva thinks "harsh" has no relation to "pissed"...

	Harsh, in this case, is about how the words sounded. Pissed, which I
mentioned, was the reason behind the words I spoke towrds Jack. I don't know
your reasons. Both appeared harsh, I went one step further with the why.

    All right...let's get on to other things.  My note could have been
    misconscrewed and I apologize to everybody for it!

    
    THAT'S IT!!!   You're both FIRED!  Clean out your desks!
    

<---fried would be a much better word.... :-)

    
    Not "baked"?
    

<---that would work, too

    
    broiled, with a touch of lemon juice, and salt and pepper work wonders.

573.182>    it requires two people working at least 60
573.182>    to 80 hours a week to pay the mortgage on a modest home.

Is that 60 to 80 hours total or apiece?

Why is this myth perpetuated?

Yes. I understand that two wage earners with pricey lifestyles/hobbies/cars
and perhaps a few kids to raise may not be able to afford a house that they 
might like to be able to.

But a modest home (2-3 bedrooms, nothing fancy, in decent shape) in most
parts of the country (possibly excepting major metro areas or most of
California) doesn't cost so much that it can't be afforded on a single
middle class income, provided that enough has been set aside for a modest
down payment (many banks are writing mortgages at 95% these days in
New England), and providing that one's existing expenses and habits
are within reason.

There are plenty of people who support a home, and sometimes a small family,
on a single income without a second job. It's not a physical impossibility.

   .270  it helps if you like Blue Nun.

<---blue nun....yum

    
    
    Bluuuuuuuuurgh!

    
>> 573.182>    it requires two people working at least 60
>> 573.182>    to 80 hours a week to pay the mortgage on a modest home.
>>
>> Is that 60 to 80 hours total or apiece?
>> 
>> Why is this myth perpetuated?
>>     ....
>>     ....
>> There are plenty of people who support a home, and sometimes a small family,
>> on a single income without a second job. It's not a physical impossibility.

    It's certainly possibly but it is harder and it's simple math.  40
    years ago the single wage earner (usually the male) earning a median
    wage assured his family an income that was median for the whole country
    (the vast majority of families had only one income).  Today for a
    single wage earner to ensure their fmaily a middle class life style
    they need to earn 1.5(?) times the median wage because so many more
    homes have two incomes.  There is no myth to that change in dynamic.
    
    Greg
    
    
                                                      

What is the median wage currently?

Are you saying that there are not people earning less than 1.5x that figure
who do not maintain ownership of a house? Even with a small family (1 or
2 children at most)?

    
> Are you saying that there are not people earning less than 1.5x that figure
> who do not maintain ownership of a house? Even with a small family (1 or
> 2 children at most)?
    
    I did not say there are not any ... I said it is harder ON AVERAGE
    because there are many more two income famalies.  Do you doubt it is
    harder on average?
    
    Greg 

                      <<< Note 46.276 by MROA::YANNEKIS >>>

>    I did not say there are not any ... I said it is harder ON AVERAGE
>    because there are many more two income famalies.  Do you doubt it is
>    harder on average?
    
    	I am one such example.  
    
    	I make what most of you make.
    
    	I have 4 kids.  We pay a mortgage.
    
    	What has changed is the style of living, not the relative
    	costs.  Take a look in the greeting card racks in gift shops
    	and such.  They have cards (actually little booklets) that
    	tell basic info about life in the USA in your birth year.
    	You'll see that the costs of a house back then was three
    	to four times the average salary.  The same generally holds
    	today.
    
    	What's different is that we need more to keep up our newer
    	standard of living.  Now we need two cars.  And a separate
    	bedroom for each kid.  And several TVs.  And a VCR for each
    	TV.  And we go out to dinner more often.  
    
    	When you have two wage earners with kids, practically half
    	of the second income goes to day-care.  No wonder it seems
    	like we have to work harder just to keep up!

    <--- WRONG. What HAS changed is the relative value of "money" in
         relation to the products it will purchase.
    
         Didn't they teach you anything about Keynes in college ?

    Re .278:
    
    > <--- WRONG. What HAS changed is the relative value of "money" in
    >     relation to the products it will purchase.

    Actually, a good part of the change in price of the house is not the
    change in value of money, but what goes into a house.  On average,
    today's houses have more real costs due to plumbing, electricity,
    appliances, and so on than houses used to have.  Building codes may
    enhance safety by requiring railings, certain types of materials,
    licensed contractors/plumbers/electricians/etc., but each of those adds
    to the cost of the building.
    
    
    				-- edp
    
    
Public key fingerprint:  8e ad 63 61 ba 0c 26 86  32 0a 7d 28 db e7 6f 75
To find PGP, read note 2688.4 in Humane::IBMPC_Shareware.

    >What's different is that we need more to keep up our newer
    >standard of living.  Now we need two cars.  And a separate
    >bedroom for each kid.  And several TVs.  And a VCR for each
    >TV.  And we go out to dinner more often.
    
    Am I to understand that this is suppose to be bad?

    
    
    It is if you can't live within your means.. or are trying to keep up
    with the Jones.. or if you have to mortage your life to satisfy the
    material god...
    

    >It is if you can't live within your means..
    
    So then it isn't generally bad?

          <<< Note 46.280 by DASHER::RALSTON "screwiti'mgoinhome.." >>>

>    Am I to understand that this is suppose to be bad?
    
    	The discussion focused on the PROBLEM of needing two incomes.
    	If you see the need for two incomes as a problem, then the
    	referenced items might be bad.  If you don't have a problem 
    	with needing two incomes to obtain these things, then it's not
    	bad.

    <<< Note 46.283 by CSC32::J_OPPELT "Wanna see my scar?" >>>
    
    Good, people need to be free produce the income that allows them the life 
    that they choose for themselves and their family. If those who decide
    to work hard, have two incomes or whatever, have large homes, nice
    clothes, and new cars, more power to them. Just because some people want to
    make the decision to only have one income, yet complain because it
    costs to much to have the same nice things, doesn't mean that we have a
    problem.

    People think you need two incomes to get by these days, and it simply
    is not true.
    
    What people need is to cut back to a single outgo.

    
    Sorry, couldn't wait 'til Friday...
    
    We can provide better customer service, at a lower cost to the 
    customer, and still reduce our annual budget by $10-million.
    

    You need to trade a few hockey players, or at least one basketball
    player.

    
    Rotisserie League GPS.
    

    
    everything is under control, Captain

    increased cohabitation has resulted in increased violence
    
    Elvis & Gerry were spotted a local donut shop
    
    Buchanin will become president

    
    	Chip, did you buy another "National Enquirer"?
    

    yas founds me outs Shawn...
    
    psssst, does yas still want it when i'm through?

    
    	Nah ... by then the pages will all be stuck together.
    

    no make up but fact:
    If you have a copy of USA Today there is a picture (on the front page I
    think) of a man throwing a snow ball at the last Giant game who just
    happens to work at Digital (I think). There is presently a $1000.00
    reward for his name (which I honestly don`t know). 

 Two questions:

 1) is the picture still there if I don't have a copy of USA Today


 2) Does the Giant game work for Digital?




 Jim

    .295
    yes and no...in that order.

    
    and some of those fans who threw snowballs were punished by having
    there season passes taken from them...
    
    

    .297
    This wasn`t a season seat. I`m sure they will catch him...but I won`t
    turn him in. What he did was terrible and he should be locked up. If he
    were a season ticket holder he shouldn`t have a seat.

    
    How "terrible" was it?
    

    
    Not terrible enough that Ray'll turn him in for the reward, I guess.
    
    
    

    
    What I saw on the news was your run-of-the-mill everyone
    having a good time snowball fight in the stands. Yeah, one
    guy definitely got pelted but he didn't seem all that upset...
    
    Did something else "bad" happen? Or is that it?
    
    -b

    One of the coaches on the sidelines got knocked unconcious by an
    iceball, as tv news out here reported it.  
    
    DougO

    
    	He was probably knocked senseless, but who's to say he wasn't
    	already like that??
    

    
    The one guy who got pelted was knocked unconscious by that snowball.
    
    Real mature behaviour by the adults in the stands, I must say.  Altho
    it reminds me of when I went to a Patriot's game earlier this year.  I
    was appalled by the spectators.
    
    Where IS that note.
    

    
    I missed that part... the guy I was talking about was in the
    stands, trying to climb the stairs. I assume he wasn't the
    asst coach; if he was, he'll probably get fined for his trouble.
    
    -b

    
    re: .298
    
    i never said that the guy who was in the paper was a season ticket
    holder...just that some of the fans who threw the snowballs had their
    season passes revoked.  i believe the radio said it was 10 ticket
    holders who are now ticketless.
    
    and on a side note, i was watching one game this weekend, and someone
    threw and egg (a rather large one) on the field and it never broke
    until one of the players smooshed it with his shoe...
    
    

    RE: losing season tickets

    I know this will show my ignorance with regards to football, but how
    much of the season is left?  How big of a deal was it that they lost
    their season passes?

    -- Dave

 Perhaps they lose their right to the tickets for perpetuity. If I have
 season tickets for this year, that gives me the opportunity to have the
 same tickets for the next year.



 Jim

    
    	People with season tickets get the chance to sign up again for
    	next year.
    
    	So, this could be bad for them if they want to continue buying
    	season tickets in future years.
    

    
    	Geez, everybody's stealing my entries before I even get a chance
    	to put them in here!!
    
    	I'll have to start abbreviating from now on.
    

    Not only that but he is going to cut things short! 

    Thanks little buddy.

>    If you have a copy of USA Today there is a picture (on the front page I
>    think) of a man throwing a snow ball at the last Giant game who just
>    happens to work at Digital (I think). There is presently a $1000.00
>    reward for his name (which I honestly don`t know). 

Too late now; nooz sez the reward has been claimed, but the picture is at:

	http://pathfinder.com/time/daily/pix/1227/giants2.jpeg

Anyone know him fershure?

/john

    .313
    Yes, his name is Jeff Lang 26 years old. Worked here at KYO as a temp.
    Not sure what his function was. As I was leaving two state police and a
    detective came past me. They stayed about 40 mintues getting
    information about his were abouts. He didn`t come to work yesterday and
    RUMOR has it that his boss at the temp agency will get the reward. It
    was announced that his seat was a season ticket holder and that person
    will lose the rights to it. Now there are only 19,999 people on the
    list. 

    
    
    
    What gets me is that there were hundreds of snowballs thrown and they
    claim to have narrowed it down to this one goofball as the one who
    started it.  This cannot be provable.  The "authorities" are making too
    big a deal of this crap.
    
    
    Mike  

    .315
    I feel the same way Mike but the problem is not that he started the
    fight but was the one who knocked out the guy on the side line. Since
    the picture was taken with a movie camera/camcorder the full picture
    alligedly (SP.) shows it. I find that hard to beleive because he was in
    seat 24 in the end zone and the guy was knocked out on the 30-50 yard
    line. If thats true then the Yankees need to hurry up and sign this guy
    (Jeff). 
    
    Jeff is a pretty smart fellow and I`ve heard comes with something like
    a silver spoon in his mouth. 

    sure it really was jeff george in disguise?

Do they really claim that this guy knocked the coach unconscious?

I thought they were just making a big example of him because they
had a great action shot, and wanted to look like they were really
doing something about the snowball fight.

This is going to be interesting to watch as it's played out.  There
is something basic in American culture that has always said that
throwing snowballs is "ok" -- some sort of belief that a little old
snowball can't really hurt anyone -- some sort of belief that it's
just good fun.

So it isn't really Jeff who's on trial here; it's a bit of American
culture that might need to change.

/john

Here's the nooz on Lange and what he has been charged with, from wire
services:

 He was identified as Jeffrey Lange, 26, of Bridgewater, N.J., Jim Gray of
 the state police said.

 Lange was arrested and charged Wednesday with disorderly conduct, the
 police said. He posted $250 bail and will appear in Municipal Court in East
 Rutherford, N.J., at an undisclosed date for a hearing.

 Lange could face up to six months in jail and/or up to a $1,000 fine if
 found guilty, the police said.

/john

    
    	What are the charges?
    
    	Inciting a riot, and assault and battery?
    

    
    	Wait, wait, wait ... 6 months and/or $1K for disorderly conduct??
    
    	What's wrong with this picture?
    

Lucky Jack would prolly want him to fry.

    
    If only this was made up.  Guy was riding with his dogon his Harley.
    He was pulled over and cited for doing so.  The law used in the
    citation was having a person ride on an area of the bike not intended
    for a person.
    

    
    	The dog isn't a person, so how can the law be applied?
    

What's a dogon?

    Where's PLaytoe when you need him......

Doggone, the dogon is long gone.

Back to the football game -  Just wondering, was it snowing during the 
game, or was this snow already in the stands when people got there?
It always amazes me that there can be a blizzard in Buffalo one day, and
by the next day, the ground crew at Rich Stadium has removed all traces
of snow from the seats.

    
    the grounds crew failed to remove the temptation. 
    
    one fan got his face plastered all over one of the NY dailies,
    complete with hefty reward to anyone who could identify him.
    
    

 I wonder if the perps will sue the Giants for not cleaning the stands (thus
 providing an attractive nuisance) and for having a lousy season thus triggering
 "disgruntled football fan syndrome" of which they are victims.




 Jim

    is it just the mentality of NYC fans or do green bay fans bombard the
    on-field personnel like this (tongue-in-cheek?)

    
    It's a far cry from the restrained, polite clapping one hears at a
    cricket match.

    obviously having a 3 hr tailgate party before gametime followed by 3+
    hours of drinking didn't leave these poor souls in the right frame of
    mine, but like I said before,his would only happen NY

re .329 see .313

/john

> I wonder if the perps will sue the Giants for not cleaning the stands ...

Giants fans expected to mount defense over tickets
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(c) 1995 Copyright Nando.net
(c) 1995 Reuter Information Service

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (Dec 28, 1995 - 15:17 EST) - The New York Giants may
face some tough defensive blocking of the legal kind when they try to sack
season ticketholders involved in last weekend's snowball debacle.

The Giants say they could cancel up to 75 season tickets used by fans who
threw snowballs during the team's 27-17 loss to the San Diego Chargers
Saturday. One of the icy missiles knocked the Chargers' equipment manager
briefly unconscious.

Fourteen people were arrested, 175 were ejected and 15 were treated for
injuries in the melee.

A New Jersey man, caught in the act by a news photographer as he heaved a
snowball, turned himself in to police Wednesday. The Giants had offered a
$1,000 reward for his identity and the money went to the first of what the
team said were 15 to 20 calls turning in 26-year-old Jeffrey Lange.

The stadium scrap has ended but fans facing the loss of their tickets are
expected to mount a strong defence. They argue that the team has no right to
take season tickets from holders who may given them to others and that many
of the troublemakers may have not been sitting in their own seats.

Others fault the stadium for not clearing away the snow, not cutting off
beer sales and overlooking contraband liquor brought in by fans to help ward
off the winter's chill.

"This is ridiculous," said local state Assemblyman Neil Cohen, speaking out
in defence of the ticketholders. "The Giants are just trying to avoid their
responsibilty," he said. "This is a bureaucratic equivalent of the punt."

The battle is likely to wind up in court, he said, adding, "I'm sure there
will be many lawsuits over this."

The Giants, coming off a losing 5-11 season, vow to hold the line. "Those
season tickets are ours and it's a revokable license," said spokesman Aaron
Salkin.

Ticketholders ejected from the game will lose their seats, while those who
gave their seats away will be considered on an individual basis, he said.
"While it's not set in stone that they will lose their tickets, it's
probable."

But he added, "In this day and age, I'm sure people will be suing."

The snowballer captured on film faces up to six months in jail and a $1,000
fine if convicted of disorderly conduct. He was not a season ticket holder,
the team said. The team refused to disclose who won the reward for turning
him in.

The Giants plan to run a full-page advertisement Friday in The San Diego
Union-Tribune newspaper, "on behalf of the 99.99 percent of Giants fans who
are the best fans in sports," apologising for the incident.

Giants officials say they have been deluged with calls from worried
ticketholders and from hopeful people whose names are on the waiting list
for the coveted season tickets.

re .328:

You're talking about Buffalo.  They know how to deal with snow there.
(although the recent 2-3 foot blizzard did manage to shut down the
city for a day or so)

(Toronto?  You must know how to deal with snow like that, don't you?)

    Toronto doesn't get that much snow, it's on the north shore of the
    lake.

    Speaking of snow; IMO the Atlanta Falcon's have about as much chance
    as a snowball in Hades at beating Green Bay this coming weekend :-(
    

    Once when I was driving from here to Ohio in November, I encountered a
    large lake effect storm in Buffalo, right near Rich Stadium. It was
    sunny and clear before and sunny and clear after.

    	RUMOR has it that his ex-wife turned him in (Jeef Lange that is). I
    also heard his boss at the temp agency turned him in. I think sooner or
    later the real person will be I.D.ed. 

>the real person

According to the news there were 15-20 people who turned him in.

/john

    
    And according to ESPN last night he turned HIMSELF in for the reward
    8^).
    
    

 This clown is rapidly becoming public enemy #1. 



 Hmmm..wonder what he was doing on June 12,1994..





 Jim

    
    I know FOR A FACT that he tossed a snowball at 
    Kennedy from the grassy knoll.
    

 His real friends know that he and DB Cooper are one and the same.

>    And according to ESPN last night he turned HIMSELF in for the reward

Did they say "he turned himself in for the reward" or "he turned himself
in" after someone else had claimed the reward and his name was being read
out of the radios of every police car within a hunnert miles.

/john

    
    As I wrote, they said that he turned himself in for the reward.
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Why would I have written that otherwise?                      
    

    The reward went to the first person to identify him. He might have
    turned himself in but the reward went to the first person to put a name
    to the face (correctly).

    
    {sigh}
    
    

Well, the news wires say "he turned himself in".  Mebbe the ESPN reporter
can't read.

/john

    
    {sigh}
    
    

               \|/ ____ \|/
                @~/ ,. \~@
               /_( \__/ )_\-------Hi!
               ~  \__U_/  ~

    
    	What's wrong with turning yourself in to collect the reward,
    	John?  Seems kind of unfair to offer a reward and then refuse
    	payment of same just because the claimant happened to be the
    	suspect.
    

    He can turn himself in but the reward went to the person who gave his
    name. They asked for a name and if it matched that person got the
    reward. His name was given long BEFORE he turned himself in. 

    
    	Ray, I was referring to a "general" reward scenario, not this
    	one specifically.
    

    I`ve generally seen rewards that state with "arrest and conviction" but
    never for just a name as in this case.

re .294 (and others):  Why did they think the snowball thrower was a
Digital worker if they didn't know (at the time) who it was?

    I knew who it was when I seen the paper the next day. I thought he was
    a permenant employee, then I heard a temp now its back to perm. There
    was no doubt who it was in my eyes. I just opted not to be one of the
    15 or so people who called up to give his name.

<----- improper grammar alert!

Maternal grammar or paternal grammar?

 Yes.

Well, I don't think he's a permanent employee; he's not in ELF.

/john

    
    	Maybe they fired him for throwing the snowball.
    

    
    at least in Chicago, we have civilized fans, unlike New Jersey fans.
    no offense Ray.

    Not all of us are uncivilized...I was uprooted and spent 15 years in
    N.H. I`m not offended because I concider myself re-transplanted to N.J.
    Like I`ve said before, my wife and kids were born in N.H. so there is
    hope or them.

    Friday make-up-a-fact-day:
    
    'boxers are the highest life form on the planet 
    (behind me of course)...

    
    Fact:
    
    Poison arrow frogs mate more profusely when played bach concertos at 
    33rpm.

     Poison arrow frogs mate more profusely when played bach concertos at
        33rpm.
    
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    
    What do they do when somebody places Alice In Chains at 78RPM?

    Sounds like an 'arrowing experience.

    Bull's eye!
    

    ?Bull's eye!?
    
    

    I have a poison-dart frog on my kitchen windowsill.  It's a very nice
    little blue-and yellow one.

    
    Have you tried playing Bach to it?

    I asked it if it would like that, bit it doesn't talk Bach, it's a very
    quiet frog.

    Human in the throat mebbe?

    > ...bit it doesn't talk Bach...
    
    you BIT it?
    
    somebody call 911 QUICK!
    
    	{dial dial dial dial dial...}
    
    

    His Bach is worse than his bite.

    
    Perhaps he can't Handel listening to Bach.
    

    
    	Listen?
    
    	You meant Lizsten, didn't you?
    

    
    You are Verdi, Verdi smart, Shawn.
    
    
    

    Re: the Holst of bad jokes
    
    
    Knock it Orff, or else!

    
    If I were Bizet, I wouldn't have time to think these up.
          

    .384
    
    > Knock it Orff, or else!
    
    Or else what?  You'll Koch us on your Weber?

 quit grilling him, Dick..

    That reminds me, where's my Chopin Lizst?

    >>That reminds me, where's my Chopin Lizst?
    
    
    I think Binder knows.  Maybe he'll Tallis.

    Naw, I wouldn't want to get your Bax up.

    Your chopin liszt is haydn.

 .391 beat me to it.

      a friend of mine has a pad of paper that says "chopin lizst"
      at the top.  did you steal that idea, glenn?  or was that a 
      richardson original?

    Eh? Somebody already marketed this pun? Wow.

    weather forecast for Saturday, sunny, highs near 85.

    Kelvin?

    That's the forecast all right. For where I was LAST saturday.

    Hitler's alive!

    
    
    Yep... he's living with General Franco on an island off the coast of
    Spain..
    

    Formin'terror is an island off the coast of Espana.

	400th snarf!

    
    Fact:  repeated snarfing has proven to be carcinogenic.
    
    
    be afraid, be very afraid.
    
    
    
    I.

    The IRS is our friend. They're here to help us.
    

    All you need to do is cooperate and everything will be fine.

    aaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
    -ss