Conference back40::soapbox

    Today I saw a dead porcupine, crow, squirrel, starling.

    
    were you driving at the time ?

    my bicycle, yes.

    Oh I see. Well I drive way too fast to see any dead things laying about
    in the road.
    
    :*)

    one possum, one raccoon

    Kangaroos do more damage.

    ** This isn't mine, I found it in another conference **
    
    
                           ROADKILL CAFE
                     YOU KILL IT! WE GRILL IT!
    
                             APPETIZERS
    	 Center Line Bovine.............................$
    	  Tastes real good, straight from the hood
    	 The Chicken....................................$
    	  That didn't cross the road
    	 Flat Cat.......................................$
    	  Served as a single...or in a stack
    
                      A TASTE OF THE WILD SIDE
                         STILL IN THE HIDE
    	 Chunk of Skunk.................................$
    	 Smidgen of Pigeon..............................$
    	 Road Toad Ala Mode.............................$
    	 Shake 'N Bake Snake............................$
    	 Whippoorwill on a Grill........................$
    	 Narrow Sparrow.................................$
    	 Rigor Mortis Tortoise..........................$
    
                             BAG 'N GAG
    ASK YOUR WAITRESS ABOUT OUR DAILY LUNCH SPECIAL
    ANYTHING DEAD IN BREAD..............................$
    
                           CANINE CUISINE
    YOU'LL EAT LIKE A HOG WHEN YOU TASTE OUR DOG!
    	 Slab of Lab....................................$
    	 Pit Bull Pot Pie...............................$
    	 Cocker Cutlets.................................$
    	 Shar-Pei Fillet................................$
    	 Poodles 'N Noodles.............................$
    	 Snippet of Whippet.............................$
    	 Collie Hit by a Trolley........................$
    	 German Shepherd Pie............................$
    	 Round of Hound.................................$
    
                          GUESS THAT MESS
    A DAILY DESSERT SPECIAL. IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT IT
    IS, YOU EAT IT......................................FREE
    
                         LATE NIGHT DELIGHT
    SERVED FRESH EACH NIGHT AFTER DARK
     	 Rack of Raccoon................................$
    	 Smear of Deer..................................$
    	 Awesome Possum.................................$
    	 Cheap Sheep....................................$
    
    

    An attorney. No skid marks though....
    

    A roadkill skunk has skid marks before the scene of the kill, the
    roadkill attorney has them after the scene, as the vehicle went into
    reverse in order to run over it again.

    
    a gophr snake, 5 feet in length.

    > gophr
    
    Sounds like an Etruscan name.

    
    
    sail cats...several of them on the way in, and 1 dead antelope

    I don't drive very much, but from the bicycle I've seen about a dozen
    stiff squirrels and one very smelly skunk in the last month.
    
    DougO

    
    I saw a dead strip of retread this morning.

I nearly got a pair of careless cyclists a couple of hours ago.  Does
that count?

Chris.

    
    
    Only if you intend to make steak and kindey pie...
    

    possum, coon, feral cat, squirrel, chipmunk, porcupine, skunk, wabbit

 I saw some dead stuff, but unfortunately I couldn't tell what it was, other
 than flat and dead.




 Jim

    Roadkill trivia:
    
    	New Hampshire is the only state in the Union that actually makes
    money from it's roadkill. The carcasses from animals hit by vehicles and
    roadkilled, but who's pelt was relatively undamaged, are sold. The pelts
    are usually from deer and moose. Taxidermists and others buy them.
    New Hampshire makes about $2,000 a year from them.
    
    							Thom...

More roadkill trivia:

In the UK, if you run down, for example, a deer or pheasant you're not
allowed to pick it up, but any following car is.  So if you fancy a bit
of venison, just get the landrover out and get a friend to follow you...

Chris.

    15 elk versus 1 tractor  = elk fest...   
    
    not to mention a bloody road...
    
    In Colorado claiming roadkill is legal.   Alot of roadkill
    goes to a local raptor center and is feed to wild game who themselves
    are getting rehabbed...
    

    re.18
    
    sail cat maby???

    
    Is road kill poaching a sign of a moose pelt youth?

    re.23
    
    that's  "yootz"

    
    Dr. Henry Foster.
    
      bb

 .22

 Coulda been a sail cat..I've noticed a lot of down on their luck possum
 making their contribution to the road kill population..coulda been one of
 them




Jim

    re -1...possum and coon don't sail as nice as a flat dried out cat,
    actually the real challenge is trying to get some distance out of
    a porky-pine....kinda like a nerf sail cat!!

    The wabbit kicked da bucket !

    In this neck of the woods, we still have some nice laws on the books
    about road kill.
    
    If you hit any farm animal, horse, cow, sheep, or anything else that
    should be behind a fence, you pay the farmer fair market price, pay a
    fine and pay for your own car repairs.
    
    If you hit anything that is considered game, the meat goes to the local
    Indian band, you pay a fine and still have to pay for your own car
    repairs.
    
    
    Anything else you run over is yours.
    
    
    That's if you can bare to go and scrape it up off the road. :-(
    
    
    joan

    Down here, if you hit somethinhg that should ordinarily be behind the
    fence, you sue the dickens out of the farmer, land owner (if they are
    not the same) the fence installer, the fencing material manufacturer,
    the state/town/county and retire.  
    
    BTW the example in .29 is ridiculous IMO unless your car is in the
    paddock with the livestock.  A cow in the road is the farmer's
    responsibility.  

re .29:

>    In this neck of the woods, we still have some nice laws on the books
>    about road kill.

We do too.  Here if a farmer's cow gets into the road and you hit it,
you sue Digital.

    -1 happened to Digital after we purchased the Lancaster land. The cows
       were still on the property, one wandered out, auto-quarter-pounder,
       and the subsequent suit. she won too... (undisclosed of course/may-
       be outa court - i can't remember it was so long ago).

Izzat true or izzit exurban legend?

    
    
    Iz true.... it happened to a cousin of a person I know very well...
    

    It is true.  Made the headlines and everything.  Digital leased the
    land in lancaster to some farmer for grazing his cows.  Cow broke
    through or walked through a hole in the fence and was hit while grazing
    
    

    On the way to work, Sunday(I think it was Sunday), I saw a dead a
    racoon. But the racoon wasn't alone. Next to it was two of its young,
    dead. The funny thing, at least to me, was that it was right next to
    the Tewksbury,MA Police station on RT38. 
    
    Does anybody know who picks up roadkill in MA?                             
    Is it a different organization, if it's on a town road or a state
    highway?
    What do they do with the roadkill?
    
    I hope know one actually eats this stuff. 
    
    I know from growing up in Lowell,Ma, that southeast asians will buy
    carp or other disease ridden fish that are caught in the canals or the
    Merrimac. This is from experience and not rumor I heard.
    
    
    
    

    In some state, fresh road kill can be consumed by the killer.  In
    others, it is donated to local food pantries.  In MA, I believe you are
    supposed to report it to the state police.  The deer I hit, bolted and
    I could not find it.  I did not report it though one person that stopped
    did call the police on their car phone.  Did a number on my Jetta :-(.

Eat 'em? Hail, yes.

The firsted round of is called Roadrunner Stew. Scrape it up and cook it
up good. Season to taste.

After a couple of days, the stuff starts to set up. That's when you go
fer the Critter Fritters. Grab a hand full, make a patty and slam it on
the griddle.

Mmm-mmm good.

TTom

    Two raccoons, two squirrels, one porcupine, one turtle and a couple
    of unidentifiable smudges were decorating the road on the way in to MKO
    this morning.

    > it is donated to local food pantries.
    
    And don't worry if they are closed.  You can always slip it under the
    door.

How do you tell a dead feral cat from a dead
domesticated cat?

    lack of a collar. ;-)

so there was no collar on the one you saw?
that's how you knew it was feral?

    Well, between the lack of the collar and the trouble I had hittin' the
    thing I figured it wasn't one of those spoiled housecats (which are
    rarely as nimble in avoiding th car...)
    
    ;-)

>               <<< Note 475.45 by WAHOO::LEVESQUE "Mr Blister" >>>
>    Well, between the lack of the collar and the trouble I had hittin' the
>    thing I figured it wasn't one of those spoiled housecats (which are
>    rarely as nimble in avoiding th car...)

Heh!
My wife found a purebred, pedigreed, Himilayan cat in the WantAd, cheap.
Nimble she ain't (the cat!!). Her name is "Prittibabe Tosca of Windsang", if
you can believe it! I think I spelled it right... We have her papers!

    
    My mother found a purebred Airedale Terrier in the want ads for free a
    few years ago.  [The owners said she was uncontrollable.  Twasn't true.]
    
    What do you expect, though; they had named her Fancy Pants.
    

re: Turtle

For some reason it always bugs the hell out of me when they get hit, since it's
pretty easy to avoid them normally on a back road. I usually stop and help
them off the pavement on a country road, however I recall one time when I
pulled over to do that and as I was walking toward it, an oncoming driver
went out of his way to aim for it. The airhole got it, too.

Hey!  Tosca is the name of my cat!
Just Tosca, no preetybabe or windsong.

I guess purebred and stupid cutesy names go together, somehow... 
"Pritibabe Tosca" isn't the goofiest name in that cat's family tree, by any
means...

  .48  oh, not me, no sir - i'll aim right for 'em.  let one of those
       slow-pokes get into the street, and i'm on him like white
       on rice.  that look of terror that comes over them, the satisfying
       tha-thump!  ahhhh.  

       

Must be like the racehorse names.
The racehorse names are ridiculous.

>                     <<< Note 475.49 by LANDO::OLIVER_B >>>
>Hey!  Tosca is the name of my cat!

Hey!
How do you say it? We say " Toos'ka ". The "oo" sound is the same as in "look".
The person we bought her from said it like that. She was trying to breed her
- HA! it is to laugh... I think the cat would freak out if a male came
around.

tosca

'tos' as in "I toss the cookies".
'ca' as in "Pahk the cah'.

Accent on first syllable.

Well, it's not as dark as Leontyne Price's.
It's bluish gray.  She's very pretty, actually.

Leontyne Price has a cat?

>                     <<< Note 475.54 by CALLME::MR_TOPAZ >>>
>       If your cat's named Tosca, she'd better have dark hair

I know it's an opera, other than that I am un-enlightened...

She's a "Seal Point", which somehow describes the color pattern, grey with
dark face, dark paws.

 Roadkill people, Roadkill!

I'd like to have a dog, but I had to settle
for a low-maintenance type, like a cat.

Your seal point sounds pretty.  I bet you really like
her!  Deep down inside!!!   C'mon, you know you do!!!

re: .51

You _MUST_ stop reading mail from Gene.

.63

I love how Domingo does it!
Beautiful.

After it rains on a summer night is a great time to hit the streets for a quick
game of toadkill.  I just love the little SPLAT sound they make.  Prizes for the
most, and the biggest.

Mikey

Mikey, whatcha gonna do when you get to the pearly gates and find out a
toad's in charge?

> Your seal point sounds pretty.  I bet you really like
> her!  Deep down inside!!!   C'mon, you know you do!!!

I guess she could pass for a little cutey fuzzy wuzzy fluff... ah, <cough>,
uh, sorry, I'm back.

Ya gotta love it... Italian(?) opera in the Road Kill Depository.

Doan no Gerald.  I would say I would croak, but I guess I would have already
done that!  Do you think I could borrow a car there?

Mikey 

>>Le bellezze insiem confonde	mumble-mumble, i dunno
>>Ma nel ritrar costei,		  "      "     "   "
>>Il mio solo pensiero, 		My only thoughts
>>Ah, il mio sol' pensier' sei tu,    are for you

	i think it means something like "the two beauties together confuse,
	but in withdrawing her..."

Actually, I would like both a dog and a cat.  Someday.

 I love my cat, particularly when she greets me with purrs and cute little
 "meows" when I get home from work.  However, should a little bug happen to 
 light on the slider and buzz around she goes absolutely bonkers to the point
 I wanna take her and flush her down the toilet.





 Jim

Yes, wasn't it Jesus who said "Blessed are all the
creatures of the earth...even squirrels."?

               <<< Note 475.50 by EST::RANDOLPH "Tom R. N1OOQ" >>>

>I guess purebred and stupid cutesy names go together, somehow... 
>"Pritibabe Tosca" isn't the goofiest name in that cat's family tree, by any
>means...


	The problem is coming up with a unique name for the registration.
	since there have been about a billion dogs and cats registered
	since the begining of time, you have to become ever more creative.

	Our Dane is registered as Alison's Alexander the Great. We just
	call him Dude. ;-)

Jim

I guess those funny names from Monty Python are already taken.

    re .74
    
    Absolutely correct.  I have two registered Birmans.  Birman
    breeders assign a letter of the alphabet to each year.  All
    cats born in that year have to have registered names that begin
    with that letter.  Sure enough, I get cats born in "q".....
    So we have Chatange's Qwill Pen and Chatange's Quick Draw McGraw.
    Otherwise known as Rocky and Moki.
    
    Mary-Michael

    re ~.30 cows etc..
    
    here the farmers have signs reading cows/sheep next 5 km.
    if the signs out and you hit one (on the road or off) it's your fault.
    if there's no sign sue him.

                     <<< Note 475.77 by CALLME::MR_TOPAZ >>>

>       A dog named Ch. Incontentia Buttocks?



	I LIKE it! Can we assume that it is not copyrighted?

Jim

    Isn't that Biggus Dickus' wife ?

    I almost became roadkill one night when I stopped to help what I
    thought was a wounded Red tailed hawk.
    
    Boy, can they be nasty when they think you are going to take away the
    mouse they just bagged.
    
    
    I thought it had a broken wing. 
    
    I did not know that they use their wing to hide the kill.
    
    
    I know now. :-(
    
    Any-one know what takes the sting out of a nip from a hawk?

    ouch!!!

    an almost road kill story...
    
    i was out cycling about two weeks ago and there was a manhole cover-
    sized snapper shuffling across the street near my home. just up ahead
    i young lady was slowing down and started to pull over to the side of
    the road. she pulled away and drove to a driveway. all the time i knew
    she was thinking "rescue." 
    
    i slowed down and said i don't think you want to go back there. that's 
    a snapping turtle. she said, oh, okay, thanks...
    
    in my estimation it could have easily snapped the body of a full grown
    man in half...

    
    	anyone noticed the increase in road kill this year in MA? Seems to
    be a lot of two dimensional animals out there on the pavement....
    
    
    jim

     It's because they are painting the yellow lines with a new kind of
    paint which attracts the animals; a new sort of population control.

    True story.  Co-worker was driving home from work and as he rounded a
    bend there was a huge snapping turtle in the roadway.  Caught the
    sucker with his front tire and rolled his vehicle.  Lost the top third
    of his pinky finger in ensuing tumble.  

    
    .81
    
    Joan, try a few 12 ounce arm curls, it should help deaden the pain. :-)

        re: .86

    	Had a local cop come round the bend in his Corvette (off duty) only
    to catch a raccoon in his front tire. Totaled the car (rolled three or
    four times).


    jim

    <------
    
    Sounds like a hard way to get rid of raccoons, but as long as there are
    fewer 'coons its worth it!
    
    
    :-)
    Dan

    
    Not sure this qualifies as "road" kill........
    
    Crossing the Robert Moses causeway bridge early one morning at warp
    speed one of the sea gulls decided to swoop down from the light poles
    they typically adorn......right in front of my radio antenna. To my
    surprise I discovered I had a "samurai" antenna which instead of
    bending or breaking neatly sliced the Gull in two pieces. Forward piece
    bounced off windshield, after piece missed car. I can distinctly
    remember seeing the surprised wide open eye and beak momentarily staring 
    at me through the glass before it disappeared up and over the car. 
    
    Apart from a small bit of blood and feathers the car came away
    unscathed. I assume the remnants of this "aerial" kill transitioned to
    the normal 2 dimensional form of conventional road kill shortly thereafter.
    
    jlb   

re .90:

Wow!

.90

Sounds like something out of Hitchcock's "The Birds"!

    Re: 90

    I'm impressed !  Quite a job you did there !

    One warning, I have discovered that there is fine in Mass-of-two-sh*ts
    for killing a seagull, but I think that you would escape the
    punishment....
    Where can I get one of those "samurai" antennas ?

    :-)
    Dan

Are seagulls an endangered species?  Ho ho.

     No, but they are sea birds and have some sort of special protection.

    I believe it is because they are carrion eaters.  We "need" them to
    clean up the dead stuff.
    
    Dan
    

Oh.  Carry on.

Is it illegal to kill crows?

    crows are open season all the time...

 Dead

 
Snarf in the middle of the road

    > Is it illegal to kill crows?

    In Massachusetts ! ? ! ? !

    As I've said before, here in Massachusetts, if it isn't illegal, it's
    mandatory

    :-(
    Dan

>               <<< Note 475.46 by EST::RANDOLPH "Tom R. N1OOQ" >>>
>"Prittibabe Tosca of Windsang"

Pretty cat with gas...

    The gull story reminded me of two other aerial kills...
    
    Stace saw a pigeon fly under her car- she heard it hit the
    undercarriage and as she looked in the rearview mirror an explosion of
    feathers errupted from beneath the car.
    
    Ten years ago speeding along a very dark stretch of New Mexico desert
    2lane I surprised a white owl snacking on some previous roadkill...it
    lurched off the road but too slowly and caromed off my windshield, into
    a very high trajectory which ended a few seconds later; if it hadn't
    been white I'd never have seen it come down (also in the rearview.)
    That one bothered me, I like owls.
    
    DougO

	had just gotten on 495 one night, when a small dog came running
	right towards my car in the middle of the slow lane.  weirdest
	thing to see.  no chance.  that was a wicked bummer.  we stopped
	and took him to a clinic, 'cuz he had tags, but he was a goner
	immediately.

    I don't know if I should tell this story or not, but what the hell,
    I'm already assumed to be a nut since I'm an NRA member... :-)

    Anyway, I'm driving along, at a safe distance behind (this is
    important for you to understand, so I will repeat it: at a safe
    distance behind) a young woman. We are going about 50, which
    happens to be the speed limit of the road in question. There
    are several cars behind me... also at a safe distance. We're
    all proceeding quite safely, _and_ quite happily.

    All of a sudden, she STANDS on her breaks. I'm not talking
    slams... I'm talking STANDS!!! She stops that car about
    as quick as a little Toyauto Corroder can be stopped. This
    sends me into a panic, and I have to slam on my breaks.
    My car spins. Cars behind me start slamming and spinning
    too. By some miracle, no one hits anyone else. But cars
    are pointing every which way.

    I look out the passenger side window, as that's where the
    view forward is now located, to see a SQUIRREL in the
    road. Young lady proceeds along like nothing happened.
    I put my car in reverse, pull back into my lane, put in
    the clutch, floor the gas, let out the clutch, and flatten
    that friggin' squirrel so flat it never knew what hit
    it, hoping that said young lady was watching the proceedings.

    And before you bitch and moan, no I'm NOT sorry.

    -b                                          

Brian, you should have run over the woman, not the squirrel.

    .105
    
    You may not be sorry, but you're an arsehole.  Taking out your anger at
    the young woman on a squirrel that did nobody, repeat NOBODY, any harm.

    <<< Note 475.105 by MPGS::MARKEY "The bottom end of Liquid Sanctuary" >>>

>    Anyway, I'm driving along, at a safe distance behind (this is
>    important for you to understand, so I will repeat it: at a safe
>    distance behind)

	If you were forced to perform all the gyrations described then
	you were not (this is important for you to understand, not)
	following at a safe distance.

Jim

    > You may not be sorry, but you're an arsehole. 
    
    So tell me something I don't already know...
    
    -b

I hit a raccoon once.  At night, in Vermont.
Made me sick to my stomach.  The impact and
the sound...it was like hitting a small child.

    
    
    RE: .110  So, you know what hitting a small child with your car feels
    like?  Eeks, that's something I hope I never experience.
    

    
    Once, on my bicycle, I hit a taxi.  I didn't kill it, though.
    

>Eeks, that's something I hope I never experience.

Not to worry, you probably won't.

    
    Shame.  You could have taken it to a taxidermist.

>>    RE: .110  So, you know what hitting a small child with your car feels
>>    like?  Eeks, that's something I hope I never experience.

    hitting an adult is no day at the beach either.    

>    hitting an adult is no day at the beach either.    

Depends how crowded the beach is.

<---- Depends on the adult too!

Mikey

>      <<< Note 475.107 by SMURF::BINDER "Father, Son, and Holy Spigot" >>>
>    You may not be sorry, but you're an arsehole.  Taking out your anger at
>    the young woman on a squirrel that did nobody, repeat NOBODY, any harm.

Tree rats with fluffy tails... I say flatten 'em. Destructive little pests.

I notice the squirrels in my neighborhood have, for some reason, taken up
crawling very slowly across roads... they must have somehow gotten
conditioned to think they won't get hurt if they do this... heh, heh.

    .111
    
    > Eeks, that's something I hope I never experience.
    
    I know roughly what hitting an adult would feel like.  Was traveling on
    I-70 in Ohio, in dawn twilight, and a German Shepherd dog came out of
    nowhere and ran across the road.  It was not a fun time to be driving.

    
>>    I know roughly what hitting an adult would feel like.

	the actual "feel" of it is somewhat similar - sickening thud,
	but little can compare with the shock you feel inside after
	hitting a humanoid.

re: .88, Jim

Is there something else to that? I wouldn't think a coon would be sufficient
to upset a Vette unless the driver actually did something stupid in trying
to avoid it.

    Mebbe iffen it were in a hard turn...

    >	If you were forced to perform all the gyrations described then
    >	you were not (this is important for you to understand, not)
    >	following at a safe distance.

    Missed this earlier... sorry Jim.

    I was at least five car lengths behind her, and I was always
    taught "safe distance" is one car length per 10 miles per
    hour of speed... and we were doing fifty. So, do the math...

    On the other hand, those five car lengths disappeared right
    quick when she decided to stand on the brakes...

    -b

    A car length per 10 mph is not enough.  Keeping a 2 second gap (or
    more) is a better gauge for a safe distance between cars.  

    
      Depends on your sight, reflexes, brakes.  Also, hers.  You are
     responsible for what is in front of you.  Judge accordingly.
    
      bb

    <<< Note 475.124 by MPGS::MARKEY "The bottom end of Liquid Sanctuary" >>>

>    I was at least five car lengths behind her, and I was always
>    taught "safe distance" is one car length per 10 miles per
>    hour of speed... and we were doing fifty. So, do the math...

>    On the other hand, those five car lengths disappeared right
>    quick when she decided to stand on the brakes...

	I think you found out that (A) it's very difficult to estimates
	"car lengths", (B) one car length per 10 mph is insufficient, or
	(C) all of the above.

	If you had to go into an uncontrolled skid to avoid ramming her
	from behind you just weren't far enough back.


Jim

On busy multi-lane roads, it's virtually impossible to maintain a safe distance.
If you leave a gap, somebody will fill it.

    
    
    Gerald speaks the truth.  Sometimes someone will fill a gap that ain't
    even big enough for another car.
    
    Mike

    I was driving back from a town late one night (in fact it was early
    morning). It was three of my mates and myself. None of us had been
    drinking that night, we had been to the cinema and then to a friends 
    place to talk about a holiday we were about to embark on. It was a 
    great evening and we were all in high spirits (not on them, yukyuk).
    
    I decided to take a short cut, down one of the back country roads,
    which happens to go past this nightclub we sometimes frequent. The
    speed limit was set at the national limit, which is 60 mph, however
    the road is so windy you can't get over 40. It is the kind of English
    country road that is very narrow and with no street lights.
    
    So there I am chugging along at about 35, approaching the afore-
    mentioned nightclub. As I round a bend I see this young girl (23
    approx) walking on the side of the street in the direction of my
    car, no problem. Then she starts waving and stuff, so i'm thinking,
    maybe she thinks she knows me. I slow down to about 20 to pass her
    and have a quick look.
    
    As I get to approx 5-10 yards way, she walks out into the middele of
    the road, directly in the path of my car. I had no time to move, so I
    slamed on my brakes and {smaq} the stupid bitch hits my bumper, flys up
    onto the bonnet and I see her face smash into my windshield, right in
    front of my eyes.
    
    I came to a stop and she rolled off the bonnet onto the tarmac. Then
    these blokes and me jump out of the car and I'm going mental at this 
    woman shouting and screaming, with a few f* words etc. One of my other
    mates, always the sensible of the lot was calm and took our coats to
    place over her. The police arrive and then the ambulance. She gets up
    and walks into the ambulance whilst I'm getting the bigun from the
    police. 
    
    Clearly I was innocent and it was confirmed when she admitted to
    purposefully walking out in front of me. She had just had a big
    arguement and split up with her boyfriend in the club. The bitch was
    trying to kill herself. If I hadn't slowed down I would have done a 
    bloody good job of that too.
    
    The police gave her a big shouting at and then took her home via the
    station. I wanted to sue the arse off her, but was told that would not
    be a good idea, because of some legal crap about pedestrians having the
    right to the roadways etc etc.
    
    The roads were wet and if I was still doing 35 or even more she'd be
    toast. 
    
    Anyway a few funny things happened just after the accident which we all
    had a big laugh about the next day... One of mates who had just bought
    a new pair of runners was walking about not knowing what to do and fell
    in a ditch and another was trying to comfort this bird by rubbing her
    butt !! 
    
    The good thing was I got staight back in the car and drove home, I did
    have to fork out for the damage to my bumper and wind shield though.
    It took about 3 years before I would drive down that street again after
    dark.
    
    Ohh well there's a good one for ya.

Does a dead bloody mouse on the TV room floor count?

I thought those cats were up to something last night.

/john

    Only if you have cars ploughing through your living room on occasion.

    
    
    re: .105
    
    	hehe...that was beautiful....:*)
    
    jim

    
    Brian, did you at least make squirrel pot pie out of it?

    No sir, there were too many pieces. I suppose it would have
    saved me the trouble of dicing it though.

    The other things worth noting about my story are:

    1. This was a few years ago when for some reason, the squirrel
       population was out of control. I was just doing my part
       as a concerned ecologist.

    2. The squirrel was toast anyway. Otherwise, I believe it
       just might have made the effort to get out of the way
       when it saw me coming...

    -b

>>    And before you bitch and moan, no I'm NOT sorry.

	so you're saying that the squirrel was toast, meaning that
	she had actually hit the squirrel and it was writhing in pain
	and you were just putting it out of its misery?  if that were
	the case, why would need to be sorry at all?

    To be honest, I'm not sure. As I said, I suspected the squirrel
    would not have just sat there if she didn't hit it, but no,
    I saw no direct evidence of it being in a pre-squashed state.
    So, for those who might otherwise think I'm an arsehole, I
    really wouldn't want to ruin your days by speculating that I
    may have done the right thing, so I figured a steadfast refusal
    to apologize would be adequate compensation.

    -b

Speaking of road kill, I just ran over a grape with the wheels on my chair.
Good thing the carpet's brown, otherwise there'd be incriminating blood stains.

    Under the situation, I can't say I'd rush to blame you for squishing
    the furry tailed tree rat. Obviously, it's easier to sit unemotionally
    behind a terminal and expound upon why it was not "right," but I'll
    leave that to the more righteous. I know I would have had blood in my
    eyes over it, had it happened to me.

   .139  oh yeah, how terribly "righteous" to think flattening the squirrel
	 out of spite and hoping the woman was watching is somehow 
	 reprehensible.  gimme a break.

    It sounded to me like it was a reaction done in the heat of of the
    moment as it were, not a calculated action. So I choose not to vilify ;-) 
    him for it, having no doubt done similarly ill advised things myself 
    in the past out of anger/in the heat of the moment. Whether someone
    else chooses to chastize him or not is someone else's decision. I just
    left it up to someone less guilty than I. No moral assessment of said
    persons was implied. \hth

    
    Oh, I feel like bursting into song:
    
    	"Just call me.... rep-re-hen-sible..."
    
    -b

    .141
    
    chastise
    
    nnttm.

    Squirrel, sparrow, crow, turtle.

Didn't know whether to put this here or in the "Things that make you gak"
string -

I needed to drop off a package at UPS in Nashua today. From all appearances,
they've very recently resurfaced the road there - black as pitch and no
signs of wear. As I was headed back to Rte. 3, I saw, crossing the road,
at a very slow and probably sickly pace, a rat about ten inches long sans
tail, which was just as deep black as the pavement. May very well have
been "marinated" in the blacktop before it was laid down. I thought briefly
about backing up and nailing it for good measure, but was in a hurry.

I don't like rats. And I prolly would have been doing it a big favor based
on its appearance/condition. Asphalt ala carrion could have helped a few
crows, too.

    Drove through Wyoming on Monday. I have driven through most of the
    states in these United States and IMO Wyoming has the best roadkill of
    all.
    
    ...Tom

    Up till recient times where our little furry squirl pop eats my
    flowers. I use to try to play the suckers between the wheels.....:)
    

    1 dead, mangled, and half eaten squirrel this morning,..... 
    in my driveway ! ! !
    What a way to start the day.....:-(

    ....grumble...grumble.....
    .... where is that <darn> shovel.....

    Dan

    re .145
    
    For the Blackadder fans (if any).... Was it Rat o Van ???

    
>>    For the Blackadder fans (if any)....

   <waves hand wildly over head>

    Saw a large, squished racoon on my way in to work today.  Well, what
    was left looked like a large racoon, anyway.

    Hey look kids!  There's Meeko!

    .145
    
    > For the Blackadder fans (if any)
    
    I have a clever plan.

re.153:

>> For the Blackadder fans (if any)
    
>    I have a clever plan.

I have a cunning plan.

Dave.

    I have a stunning tan.

    Two possums, two skunks, three squirrels, a cat, a little rat-dog, and
    over half-a-dozen birds, as well as some unidentifiable oily wet fur
    patches, during my long ride in the canyons on Monday.
    
    One squirrel during last night's ride.
    
    DougO

    Nice job DougO,
    
        You got these all by yourself, didn't need any help I'd bet !
    
    :-)
    Dan

    I just spot 'em, I don't squash 'em.  My road bike tends to dump me if
    I hit anything bigger'n a worm, and I hate road rash.  Especially if
    I'm landing in worm guts.
    
    DougO

One time I see this squirrel crossing the road way ahead.  No problem,
it has plenty of time.  But it changes its mind and starts back the other
way.  Still plenty of time.  It changes its mind _again_, and _again_
and _again_, each time reversing direction.  Finally I thought it had
decided, having reached the edge as I approached, but it changed its
mind one last time...

    "....while the squirrel does its' dance of death...."
    
    :-)
    Dan

    What appeared to be a duck is today's roadkill of the day.

Last week on RT81 in PA over 20 deer. most had been there long enough for the 
hiway crews to do cleanup but I guess they just let them bloat, explode, and
decompose where they fall. :-}

also, just after seeing a bumper sticker that said "Lost your cat? look under
my tires." passed what appeared to be the rear-half of a orange cat.

So many small critters on the turnpikes lost track but one red fox was 
interesting, obviously fresh, but too dangerous to go back for the tail. :-}

    trip to toronto saw many unidentifiable animals and three humans. the
    humans were great to see all bloody and disgusting.
    

Sunday, around 8 A.M., on the Mass Pike westbound shortly after getting on
at Weston: a turtle was s-l-o-w-l-y crossing the road.  It had made it
across one lane.  Traffic was very light, so it _might_ have avoided becoming
a subject for this string.

Later on, my roof intercepted a low flying bird.  I heard a thump, but didn't
see anything.

    
    This morning - A gray, furry, formerly living, object roughly the size
    of two footballs.  Original species, unidentifiable.

    :-|
    Dan

    Bagged a suicidal skwerl yesterday in the SportWagon.  No time to
    react, it just leapt under my tire.  
    
    

    Well, I know it wasn`t Spike. He`s free but doen`t roam more than 200
    feet from my house. He still expects me to feed him. 

A duck attempted to commit suicide by waddling in front of my car
at the ZK entrance yesterday.  I didn't comply.

| <<< Note 475.167 by MAIL2::CRANE >>>

| Well, I know it wasn`t Spike. He`s free but doen`t roam more than 200
| feet from my house. He still expects me to feed him.

	He just wants to take another bite out of ya....

    .169
    Nope, I just provide peanuts, sunflower seeds and peanut butter to him
    AND his lady squirrel friend. I`m just waiting for the kids to come in
    the spring. I wonder if I can claim them on my taxes?

    
    -1
    
    Only if they were pet newts.  According to Bush, there are no newt taxes.

	Newt doesn't pay taxes????? Da bumb!!!

    
    A ford festiva, crushed by the giant testicles of a Japanese badger.

    re: .174
    
    Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of Jesse Helms.
    That way, the badgers could have a cigarette afterwards :-)

    
    You can add aonther Jesse to that list...
    
    and then I'd have a cigarette!!!!!!!!!!!
    

    Saw three raccoons smushed in the roadway this morning.  All three were
    within 25 feet of each other and appeared to be young'uns.

 .177  what a friggin' drag.

    
    No it appeared that they laid where they were hit  ;^{).

    
    A non-smelling (fortunately) skunk.....
    Under the wheels of my MOTORCYCLE ! ! ! !

    There is something truly sickening about feeling your front wheel slither
    to the right a few inches when you hit one a these little rodents....
    eewwwwuuooo :-(

    On the bright side, none of it hit me, and I didn't see any misc.
    pieces on the bike either....

    Dan

    Are skunks rodents?  Methought not.  Authorities, front & center.  We
    have a potentially errant 'Boxer in need of Korrektion.
    

No, skunks aren't rodents.  I have spoken.

    Skunks are carnivores, related to minks, martens, ermines, ferrets,
    sables, weasels, and fishers.

Are you calling Jack Martin a weasel?




Why not?

    A rodent can also be a carnivore...

    A rodent can eat meat, but Carnivora is a zoological classification at
    the order level.  Members of order Carnivora include dogs, cats, bears,
    weasels, hyenas, and raccoons.  But not rodents, which are members of
    order Rodentia.

    I sit corrected.

    
    A skunk is a mephitis mephitis.
    
    

    <---- allergies Debra?

 Perhaps the odor of the skunk in .180 worked its way over to Rte 102 
 Nashua/Hudson NH last night.  I encountered the odor about 9:30 PM.




 Jim

    
    What are you all takin' abouts....???
    This skunk/rodent/little PoS is flatter 'n the proverbial pancake....
    Who really gives a rip if its a rodent or not.....
    OBTW - I believe I called Jack Martin a weasel as well, so y'all try
    figuren' that'en out.....
    
    Dan

    
    Half a dozen unidentifiable chunks of formerly living rodents strewn
    all over the road way from Lynn to Maynard.... Musta been a busy night
    last night... :-ppp

    Dan

    Bad night for racoons - 3 during the first 5 miles this morning.

    Spring can't be far away!
    on a trip to tamworth (110 km) saw eight grey Kangaroos all about 5
    foot "sleeping" on the side of the road.

One of my scariest ever bus journeys involved a trip
from Coober Pedy to Alice Springs. I was in deep slumber
when all of a sudden the bus crashed into something and
gave a massive jolt.  We had to get off and it turns out
that the driver hit one of the biggest 'roos I have ever
seen. It took out both of the front head lights and left
quite the nasty dent in the front grill.

    Did ya roast the kangaroo on the barbie ?

    -1
    
    no, I had some jobs to do first and an extended period in the back seat
    of the car would not be desirable for the aforementioned beasties.
    

    Maybe you could roast them in the back of the car by parking it in the
    sun...

    Dead-snarf

    re .199
    
    why did I not think of this earlier?
    
    cut the tail off and stick it in the radiator to make kangaroo tail
    soup.
    
                                                               
    the anti freeze would add that extra piquant flavour as well.

    Bill,
    
    You are truely a man of fine cuisine. I must come round for dinner !

    There used to be a woman working here (Parker Street, actually) who
    was into taxidermy.  If you brought in your road kill (not too badly
    mangled) she would stuff it.  She had several such animals hanging from
    the ceiling above her cube.  Wonder if she's still around.

    Wouldn`t you know if she were still around? 
    
    My brother was attacked by an owl one night and he shot it, had it
    stuffed with wings expanded coming out of the sky. The first night home
    about 2:30 in the morning our dog got a hold of it...I didn`t think
    there was so many feathers on a bird.

    It's not really read kill in the same sense, but has anyone else
    noticed an unusually large number of dead truck retreads on the roads
    this summer?  I don't remember ever seeing so many.

re cooking road kill using engine as heat source:

A few years ago, a couple of guys came out with a cookbook all of whose
recipes involved using the engine as a heat source.

    Cooked in a car-B-Q...(a real product.)

    
    Four skunks on the way into work yesterday morning, and two more on the
    way home, a handful of squirrels, and even a couple of opossums.....Where
    are all these little buggers coming from?
    

    
    i don't know, but there was a <?> in the middle of the lane where i get
    onto route 2...<gaq>
    
    

    Raq, it was a squished animal.  NNTTM but you can if you wish :-)

    
    
    There's been a big gray cat at the edge of the left lane on
    Rt. 24N for the last four days.  Very very large animal.  I
    really wish they would remove it.  I get so sad driving by 
    it every morning. :(
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    The fact that a cat has not moved for a few days is no indication that it
    is dead.

    
    
    thanq you, brian... 
    
    :>
    

    
    
    Take my word for it, it was dead...VERY dead....
    
    
    :(
    

    Maybe it was just pinin'?