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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

526.0. "You've won the lottery" by GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER (NRA member) Mon Aug 21 1995 14:36

    
    
    Okay, you've just won $5,000,000 in the lottery.  Friends and family
    comeout of the woodwork looking for their cut of the pie.  Charities
    are knocking down your door for their cut.
    
    
    What do you do?
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
526.1MAIL2::CRANEMon Aug 21 1995 14:383
    Don`t open the door.
    Disown my family.
    Open brothel and let them take care of my friends.
526.2WAHOO::LEVESQUEthe heat is onMon Aug 21 1995 14:461
     Tell them to buy their own tickets.
526.3SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIBeen complimented by a toady lately?Mon Aug 21 1995 15:029
    
    
    You've got enough there to hire someone for a month or so to screen all
    the incoming stuff...
    
     Make it short and sweet...
    
     If necessary, we'll bet back to you... bye!
    
526.4nuthin'ASDG::HORTONpaving the info highwayMon Aug 21 1995 15:033
    Remain anonymous and continue my life as before
    (well...maybe with a few more toys...).
    
526.5TROOA::COLLINSA 9-track mind...Mon Aug 21 1995 15:0912
    
    $5-million, huh?
    
    $500,000 - to mom
    $500,000 - to my sister
    $1,000,000 - allocated between various charities
    $1,000,000 - soundly invested
    $1,000,000 - divided amongst good friends
    $1,000,000 - house, car, assorted toys, dining out, etc.
    
    ...and a two-four of OV for my dad.
    
526.6MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Mon Aug 21 1995 15:135
>    ...and a two-four of OV for my dad.


OV? O'Keefe's?

526.7TROOA::COLLINSA 9-track mind...Mon Aug 21 1995 15:143
    
    Old Vienna.
    
526.8GOOEY::JUDYThat's *Ms. Bitch* to you!Mon Aug 21 1995 15:197
    
    
    	I'd give some to my folks, very little to my brother (cuz
    	he'd spend it on stupid stuff), pay off the medical bills
    	for my grandmother for however much longer she might be here,
    	and then throw the biggest danged party I could.  =)
    
526.10NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Mon Aug 21 1995 15:232
Almost all lotteries are annuities paid out over 20 to 30 years.  Taxes are
taken off the top.  So that $5,000,000 prize is maybe $150,000 a year.
526.11TROOA::COLLINSA 9-track mind...Mon Aug 21 1995 15:266
    
    In Ontario the biggies (Lotto 6/49, Super 7, etc.) are paid out in one
    lump sum.  There was talk of making the winnings taxable, but to my
    knowledge the winning are still tax-free.  However, interest or gains
    on any money invested would be taxed.
    
526.12SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Aug 21 1995 15:281
    a BD-10 (aka Peregrine)
526.13If wishes came trueNETCAD::PERAROMon Aug 21 1995 15:3914
                    
    Hummmmm............... if I had that kind of money...........
    
    Be as generous with our families as they have been with us over the
    years
    
    Travel around a bit
    
    Build an indoor riding rink for all my friends
    
    Invest it wisely 
    
    Mary
    
526.14Nice toyROWLET::AINSLEYLess than 150kts is TOO slow!Mon Aug 21 1995 15:413
    Don't forget the training to fly the thing...Start with a T-38:-)
    
    Bob
526.15In a perfect world ...BRITE::FYFEMon Aug 21 1995 15:4117
Assuming I'd actuall get 3M out of the 5M:

Set up a trust and invest for alternate income for my youngest brother so that
he may finally become independant.

Educational trusts for my kids, nieces and nefews.

Retirement investments (also alternate income generating).

Charity donations in support of Big Brother/Sister and other organizations
which promote volunteerism in bettering the lives of the less fortunate.


A siginificant change in lifestyle  :-)

Doug.
526.16STAR::OKELLEYKevin O'Kelley, OpenVMS DCE SecurityMon Aug 21 1995 15:412
    Flee for the Caribbean, hopefully one step ahead of my ex-wife's 
    "junkyard dog" of a lawyer.  ;^)
526.17SHRCTR::BRENNANMon Aug 21 1995 15:5814
    
    
    1.  Pick up my check
    2.  Head straight to the airport
    3.  Take off to some island
    4.  Send family and close friends airline tickets to 
        come join me.
    5.  Call the boss, tell him I'll be back when I get 
        back (if I even come back) and see if he and his
        family would like to come join us also.
    6.  Decide how and where I want to spend the rest of 
        our lifes.
    
    
526.18MPGS::MARKEYfunctionality breeds contemptMon Aug 21 1995 16:014
    
    pay off lady di to stop giving me $#!+ about the penis thing... :-)
    
    -b
526.19TROOA::COLLINSA 9-track mind...Mon Aug 21 1995 16:023
    
    Penis and penis, what is penis?
    
526.20PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BMon Aug 21 1995 16:065
    
>>    pay off lady di to stop giving me $#!+ about the penis thing... :-)

	and what would you do with the remaining million? ;>

526.21WMOIS::GIROUARD_CMon Aug 21 1995 16:231
    resign and head to Europe... 
526.22SMURF::BINDERNight's candles are burnt out.Mon Aug 21 1995 16:282
    Take a little out of each check to play with, and invest the rest. 
    When the interest yield exceeds my current income, retire.
526.23SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Aug 21 1995 17:067
    .14
    
    Just think...you could change it to:
    
    "Less than 600kts is TOOslow!"
    
    (130kts, for now - it's than dang gear. Seems to be welded in place.)
526.24TROOA::BROOKSMon Aug 21 1995 17:095
    interesting that it took so long for someone to say 'quit'...
    
    Loyal DECcie's only, I see.
    
    :^)
526.25POWDML::HANGGELIPetite Chambre des MauditesMon Aug 21 1995 17:1410
    
    $750K for my mother
    $750K for my sister
    $1M to St.Lawrence for a scholarship in my father's name
    $1M for charity - veterans and animals
    $1.5M for me and that special someone to run off to the Cayman Islands
          together
    
    
    
526.26GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERNRA memberMon Aug 21 1995 17:177
    
    
    I'd keep it all and dole it out as necessary.  Stockpile most of it and
    then invest it.  With the interest I could make yearly donations to
    charity and help family every year instead of all of it going at once.
    
    Mike
526.27TOOK::GASKELLMon Aug 21 1995 17:223
    Shoot! I wouldn't give any of it away.  I'd buy an island off the coast
    of Scotland, a satelite dish, an Eazy-Boy Recliner, and a 2000 gallon 
    tank for the Harvey's Amontillado (sherry).
526.28WAHOO::LEVESQUEthe heat is onMon Aug 21 1995 17:309
526.29MKOTS3::MACFAWNMy mother warned me about you...Mon Aug 21 1995 17:3716
    Here's my list:
    
    1.  Buy a great big house with inground pool.
    2.  Buy hubby new truck.
    3.  Buy me a new car.
    4.  Buy me a new Harley.
    5.  Set up a "The MacFawn Girls Need to Go To College" Fund.
    6.  Set up a "You Have Girls Who Will Want "In" Clothes and Makeup and
        CD's and stuff" fund.
    7.  Buy mom and dad a vacation cottage on the lake.
    8.  Invest (if I have any left).
    
    
    
    
    
526.30ROWLET::AINSLEYLess than 150kts is TOO slow!Mon Aug 21 1995 17:393
    re: .23 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Bob
526.31CONSLT::MCBRIDEReformatted to fit your screenMon Aug 21 1995 17:4223
    5 mil over 20 years in MA.  50K/year/mil pretax, figure you will net 50% 
    so 125K/year.  Not a lot of money in future $ speak.  The Doctah and
    Binder have the plans that will most likely net the best return.  Don't
    plan on retiring if you are under 35 and wish to provide for a
    comfortable future for your family.  On the other hand, you can buy
    some time to look for other employment if you find you are in a
    situation you do not enjoy.  
    
    I would do the following.  
    
    1st, get an unlisted number.
    2nd, speak with my accountant and attorney.
    
    Year 1: the stabilizing year
    
    Retire the debt on folks house.
    Sell my house and build buy new one.  
    Pay off nephew's school loans
    Pay for niece's schooling.  
    Invest remainder with the goal of retiring by 45.  
    
    After that, manage it wisely.  
    
526.32BIGQ::SILVADiabloMon Aug 21 1995 19:225

	Give to the family, give a set amount to charity, give to the people I
USED to owe money to, give to new items, give to uncle sam. With the latter it
means I only have $2 to spend on the 1st 4 items.... :-)
526.33nothing ostentatious...SX4GTO::WANNOORMon Aug 21 1995 23:069
    
    
    closer to .31 (brian's)
    ... take care of business - investments etc
    ... take care of parents
    ... upgrade/buy new sailboat
    ... complete circumnavigation (half done) - leasurely!
    
    
526.34friendly suggestion re .33DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC: ReClaim TheName!Mon Aug 21 1995 23:154
    >>> ... complete circumnavigation (half done) - leasurely!
    
    Heals a LOT faster if ya do it all, and QUICKLY.
    
526.35SX4GTO::WANNOORMon Aug 21 1995 23:5712
    
    
    re .34
    
    ha, ha, ha!!! talk about putting doubt in my linguistic
    ability... I actually double-checked the word! and thank
    goodness it was the right one! whew!
    
    yeah - we did the Boston - Panama Canal -Hawaii - SF route,
    so one of these days, I'd like to completely sail ONE ocean.
    (instead of parts of many).
    
526.36Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMHappy Harry Hard OnTue Aug 22 1995 02:511
    Get very drunk.
526.37CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanTue Aug 22 1995 03:268


 I don't play the lottery, so I'll never win, thank you.



 Jim
526.38'cause I like Kraft DinnerTROOA::BUTKOVICHblink and I'm goneTue Aug 22 1995 03:421
    I'd still eat Kraft Dinner
526.39DELNI::SHOOKStill in the NRATue Aug 22 1995 04:115
    1. hold a VERY large box-bash!
    2. make large contributions to favorite charities
    3. develop a strong portfolio
    4. travel to europe
    5. build a large, secluded house in maine
526.40This is kind of depressing, but...AIMHI::MARTINactually Rob Cashmon, NHPM::CASHMONTue Aug 22 1995 09:4238
    
    1.  Fall to my knees and thank God.
    
    2.  Quit job, and take my documentation of grievances between
        the contract employees here and the contractor that employs us
        to the New Hampshire Labor Board (which I intend to do anyway 
        when I quit this job.  I will not be the first to have done this,
        but hopefully I will have been meticulous enough in my record-
        keeping that I will be able to finally persuade the Board to 
        do something.  I owe that much to the guys who work here.)
    
    3.  Call my brother and sister together, and split the money so that
        each of us has enough to be able to scrape by for the rest of our
        lives without ever having to work again.  Anything left over goes
        to my mother, so that she is able to enjoy her retirement.
    
    4.  If I have enough, buy guitars for my musician brother and nice
        prezzies (jewelry, perhaps) for my sister and mother.
    
        Buy a small house (I have vowed never to get married, and never
        to trouble the unhappy world with a new generation of Cashmons)
        up in the woods of rural New Hampshire.  There, I can live as a
        hermit, raving in my incoherent, incomprehensible delusions, and
        have a sand berm out back where I can shoot my new toys -- the
        current government-acceptable versions of the M16 (Colt Sporter?), 
        AKS, MAC-10, Schmeisser machine pistol, Thompson submachine gun, 
        and perhaps a few other goodies.  :-)  I will also have a power
        rack with a few Olympic barbells and loads of black iron.
    
    I think that about covers it.  Pay off my debts, move to the woods, 
    lift, shoot, hunt, eat red meat, drink whiskey, kill the pain of 
    reality, and die having made my peace with the world as much as is
    possible.
    
    
    
    Rob

526.41GAVEL::JANDROWGreen-Eyed Lady...Tue Aug 22 1995 12:5014
    well, i'd:
    
    	pay off any bills i had
    	buy a decent car
    	buy a modest home
    	buy a house for my father
    	pay off my grandparents house
    	set up some sort of trust for my 3 youngest siblings
    	pay off/buy something for my brother
    	give a given amount to a couple of charities
    	with whats left, find a lawyer and accountant and manage the rest 
    	  so that i am not broke in 5 years.
    
    
526.42 ;-) STOWOA::JOLLIMOREOneWhiteDuck/0^10=nothing at allTue Aug 22 1995 12:551
	i'd hire ::markey to teach me the jerry riff.
526.43No brainer.GAAS::BRAUCHERTue Aug 22 1995 13:334
    
      I win the lottery every day.  It's easy, abstain.
    
      bb
526.44BIGQ::SILVADiabloTue Aug 22 1995 13:566


	A guy I used to work with said he would come into work in a ripped
t-shirt, shorts, sandels, and holding a 16 oz can of Bud. He would stand up on
a table, pointing and laughing at all the poor people. :-)
526.45DEVLPR::DKILLORANIt ain't easy, bein' sleezy!Tue Aug 22 1995 15:2618
    
    I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I think I've got
    it....

    1) purchase suitable pieces of jewelry for each of the GORGEOUS 'BOXBABES
       ( yes I know that GORGEOUS 'BOXBABES is a tautology. :-) )
    2) pay off my current debts.
    3) donate a big chunk o' money to NRA-ILA
    4) buy my mom an Mercedes 600 SC
    5) buy my self an Ferarei (sp?) F40 .....NICE, NICE, CAR
    6) and I have my eye on a nice little (private) island somewhere in the 
       tropics... Of course I'd send first class airline tickets to the
       'boxbabes so they could vacation with me....

    etc, etc, etc.... I could go on for days....

    :-))))))))

526.46NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Aug 22 1995 15:463
re .45:

You forgot the part about buying the world's most expensive vacuum cleaner.
526.47DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC: ReClaim TheName!Tue Aug 22 1995 16:022
    zzzzzZZZZZZZZINGGEROOOOOOO!!! :-)
    
526.48SCAS01::GUINEO::MOOREHEY! All you mimes be quiet!Tue Aug 22 1995 16:0410
    
    1. Hire someone to do my Notesfile entries.
    
    2. Throw my state-of-the-art Microvax 3100 out the nearest 8th floor
       window.
    
    3. Park myself, my family, and the cash offshore.
    
    4. Sit on a beach, drink in hand and ogle my aerobics-instructor wife 
       in a bikini (she in the bikini, not me).
526.49MKOTS3::MACFAWNMy mother warned me about you...Tue Aug 22 1995 16:159
    I think hell has a better chance of becoming an ice-skating rink than
    having me win the lottery.
    
    Let's see...no chance of winning the lottery, no rich relatives with
    big estates, married for love not money, no movie-star fathered my
    children, Digital doesn't give raises...yep, that's it...I'll be poor 
    for the rest of my life!
    
    
526.50WMOIS::GIROUARD_CTue Aug 22 1995 16:241
    sounds like Dan is in dire need of companionship...
526.52BIGQ::SILVADiabloTue Aug 22 1995 16:396
| <<< Note 526.46 by NOTIME::SACKS "Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085" >>>


| You forgot the part about buying the world's most expensive vacuum cleaner.

	I think he already has that.....
526.53NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Aug 22 1995 16:574
>    4. Sit on a beach, drink in hand and ogle my aerobics-instructor wife 
>       in a bikini (she in the bikini, not me).

You have something in common with Rush Limbaugh.
526.54MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Tue Aug 22 1995 16:592
Rush is after Moore's wife???

526.55SMURF::MSCANLONalliaskofmyselfisthatiholdtogetherTue Aug 22 1995 17:1529
     1.) Get an unlisted number
     2.) Use it to call my lawyer and
     3.) hire an accountant
     4.) Pay off my debts
     5.) Pay off my ex-husbands' condo (AFTER his 2nd divorce is
         finished - she don't deserve nothin' :-) and set up a 
         trust fund so his newborn daughter will get to the 
         college of her choice (the condo is currently in my name
         too with an upside down mortgage, lest someone think I
         am a.) extremely generous or b.) have spent far too much
         time in the sun :-) :-)
     6.) Send the family to Florida for Christmas (we have other
         relatives there)
     7.) Set some money aside for SO's kids' college, college bills, lives,
         etc.
     8.) Invest and hold the line a year. 
     9.) Second year - build new house.
    10.) Third year - buy antique shop
    
    Around the tenth year I'll quit working for someone else.
    
    I expect it will only change the quality of the toys, not the
    number :-)
    
    I expect it will change the size of the donations, not the 
    quantity.
    
    Mary-Michael
    
526.56Hmmmmmmmm.PCBUOA::LPIERCEDo the watermelon crawlTue Aug 22 1995 17:378
    
    1.  Pay off bills
    2.  Buy the huge awsome TopKick (big truck) w/matching horse trailer
    3.  Share the $ w/ my family
    4.  Move to Kentucky
    5.  Buy a horse farm
    
    Lkp
526.57If I saw Rush on the beach, I'd use the harpoon.SCAS01::GUINEO::MOOREHEY! All you mimes be quiet!Tue Aug 22 1995 18:064
    .53
    
    About the only thing I have in common with Rush is that we both despise
    Sliq.
526.58NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Aug 22 1995 18:081
You're both married to aerobics instructors.
526.59SCAS01::GUINEO::MOOREHEY! All you mimes be quiet!Tue Aug 22 1995 18:144
    I know. Rush just can't enjoy his. On top is no good, since Rush's wife
    has a fear of heights, and from behind put her through the headboard.
    
    >^)
526.60POLAR::RICHARDSONFirsthand Bla Bla BlaTue Aug 22 1995 18:181
    Hmmm, wonder if there's a market for anaerobic instructors?
526.61NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Aug 22 1995 18:261
Sure, among bacteria who want buns of steel.
526.63POLAR::RICHARDSONFirsthand Bla Bla BlaTue Aug 22 1995 20:231
    hangh?
526.64Quit my job and move to MauiDECLNE::REESEToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGroundTue Aug 22 1995 20:381
    
526.65Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMHappy Harry Hard OnWed Aug 23 1995 00:081
    I'm still going with 'get drunk'!
526.66DRDAN::KALIKOWDIGITAL=DEC: ReClaim TheName&amp;Glory!Wed Aug 23 1995 02:282
    Film at 11.
    
526.67Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMHappy Harry Hard OnWed Aug 23 1995 02:473
    Ohh puleaze... not that <r.o> boring film called 'It could happen to
    you'. I'm sorry I hated that movie more than... well let's just stop
    there.
526.68SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIBeen complimented by a toady lately?Wed Aug 23 1995 12:424
    
    
    Okay.. then how about...'The Mickey Mantle Story"?
    
526.69CSOA1::LEECHDia do bheatha.Wed Aug 23 1995 13:253
    re: .65
    
    There's a surprise...  8^)
526.70Might enjoy a little bubbly on flight to MauiDECLNE::REESEToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGroundWed Aug 23 1995 15:488
    .65
    
    Martin,
    
    We all assumed that was a foregone conclusion :-)
    
    
    
526.71CSC32::M_EVANSnothing's going to bring him backWed Aug 23 1995 17:0614
    Fix the house without having to take out a frogging mortgage.
    
    Start hunting  for decent acerage with reasonable irrigation rights,
    making sure there is space on the far end of the farm for my mom, if
    whe wants to move in.  Has to be enough space for barley, as well as a
    long-enough growing season for veggies.
    
    Go to school for something I want to learn, for a change.
    
    Radical change of carreer within 7 years of "winning"
    
    meg  
    
    
526.72SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Wed Aug 23 1995 18:291
    Radical change to....????
526.73Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMHappy Harry Hard OnThu Aug 24 1995 02:193
    Blade the Teknoman !
    
    Sorry...guess I should quit watching cartoons in the am.
526.74In My DreamsSALEM::MREXrex may be king but mrex is QueenFri Aug 25 1995 13:525
    
    1. Make sure check clears!!
    2. Quit
    3. Change name and move 
    4. ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
526.75fun to dream, or is that a plot?TROOA::BROOKSSun Aug 27 1995 17:2010
    I'd probably keep working for a bit, until I snap one-day.
    I'd rent a prominent billboard somewhere and put on it 
    	"Don't buy lottery tickets!  They're just taxing you! Don't you get
    it?!"
    Just to counteract the 'propoganda' the lottery ministeries put out!  
    I'd change my will.  Buy a cemetery plot, just in case it all gets
    blown away, there's some place to go to at the end of it all.
    Put a bunch into GIC/CD's. buy a cottage, new car, bitchin' computer
    (for games of course)  play a lot more computer games.  That sort of
    thing.. Give some away to charities, some to family, etc.
526.76CSOA1::LEECHDia do bheatha.Mon Aug 28 1995 14:159
    I'd create a huge electronic billboard, twice the side of the "gun
    deaths" propaganda machine, and place it across the street of the first
    billboard.  I would label it "firearms used legally in self-defense".
    
    It would not take long for the total on my sign to eclipse that on the
    "gun deaths" sign.  
    
    
    -steve
526.77SCAS01::GUINEO::MOOREHEY! All you mimes be quiet!Mon Aug 28 1995 16:173
    I think the Times Square "gun-deaths" billboard got taken down...its
    sponsor is apparantly in the midst of some several-million-dollar
    legal squabble with the gu'ment.
526.78CSOA1::LEECHDia do bheatha.Mon Aug 28 1995 17:581
    Oh.  In that case...nevermind!
526.79CHEFS::COOKSHalf Man,Half BiscuitFri Sep 01 1995 11:485
    Buy a top player for Reading F.C.
    
    Pay my mortgage off,leave my job,and become a dustman or something.
    
    
526.80MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Sep 01 1995 16:384
    Buy an island, a yacht. Sail to the island, set fire to they yacht in
    the lagoon. Run around naked on the island.:)
    
    
526.81NETCAD::WOODFORDWhere do I begin?....etc.Fri Sep 01 1995 17:014
    
    
    Alone??
    
526.82MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Sep 01 1995 17:112
    Certainly not!:) But, certainly,,.... no relatives, in-laws/outlaws.:)
    
526.83POLAR::RICHARDSONAREAS is a dirty wordFri Sep 01 1995 17:141
    You could build a really Cruel Spa on that island.
526.84SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIBeen complimented by a toady lately?Fri Sep 01 1995 17:189
    
    re: .80
    
    >Run around naked on the island.:)
    
    George.... I've seen you...  
    
    Please re-consider...
    
526.85MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Sep 01 1995 17:315
    .83 A Huge Cruel Spa!!! :) 
    
    And .84, you dont have to look. Less you plan on crashing upon the island!:)
    
                                                     
526.86POLAR::RICHARDSONAREAS is a dirty wordFri Sep 01 1995 17:382
        One with spikes in it, and razor blades! And a guy handing you towels
    and telling you how ugly you are and insulting your family. etc.
526.87MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Sep 01 1995 17:455
    Gee, I sold some shirts like that. You bought a shirt, with of coures
    the logo, 'I survived the Cruel Spa'. And got a razor blade to
    customize your shirt. :) Wanna buy one?:)
    
    
526.88practical joking made practicalPOLAR::WILSONCA dog is a womans best manMon Sep 04 1995 04:3712
    I would buy a series of $200 cars driving each of them into the busiest
    intersections and park them and leave. 
    
    I would cause as much trouble as I could. Without harming anybody of
    course.
    
    I would send a group of drug addicted homeless people to a posh beach
    resort so that they can see how the other half lives.
    
    oh boy would I do some sneeky things. tee hee hee.
    
    
526.89BIGQ::SILVADiabloMon Sep 04 1995 14:4411
| <<< Note 526.88 by POLAR::WILSONC "A dog is a womans best man" >>>


| I would send a group of drug addicted homeless people to a posh beach resort 
| so that they can see how the other half lives. oh boy would I do some sneeky 
| things. tee hee hee.


	So.... this must mean you're gonna run for a Democratic office? 


526.90DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalTue Sep 05 1995 16:1615
    
    Good one Glen!

    re:.88

    > I would buy a series of $200 cars driving each of them into the busiest
    > intersections and park them and leave. 
    > 
    > I would cause as much trouble as I could. Without harming anybody of
    > course.

    Hate to rain on your parade, but before you park that car in the
    intersection, you better make sure that no ambulances need to get
    through there.  Otherwise someone could very definitely be "harmed".

526.91NETCAD::WOODFORDWhere do I begin?....etc.Tue Sep 05 1995 16:3425
    
    
    If I won the lottery in a big way... (ie: Over $1,000,000.00)
    
    
    
    Come in to work, get all my pictures, my berry basket, and my big
    purple bunny out of my office. (Everything else could be replaced.)
    I'd take everyone in my group, less three people, out to lunch, then
    have the limo that drove me here take me shopping. (I would NEVER EVER
    make this drive again!!)
    
    I'd start with a new car for Alan, then one for me.  Then I'd buy my
    parent's condo in Millis, MA.  I'd buy them a large home on Marco
    Island in Floriday, large enough for family visits.  I'd buy myself a
    log cabin in Maine, and keep the condo in Millis as rental property. 
    I'd spend 6 monts in Maine, and 6 months in Marco every year. (I'd buy
    a house for us there too, since I couldn't live with my parents for 6
    days, never mind six months!) :*)
    
    Any money left after that would go into a trust account for the kids.
    
    
    Terrie
    
526.92MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaTue Sep 05 1995 17:042
    Why would you wanna by a condo in Millis Mass?:( Former native of the
    area.
526.93BUSY::SLABOUNTYHoly rusted metal, Batman!Tue Sep 05 1995 17:355
    
    	Terrie never claimed to be normal.
    
    	8^)
    
526.94NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Tue Sep 05 1995 17:361
The real question is why she would want to keep a condo as rental property.
526.95NETCAD::WOODFORDWhere do I begin?....etc.Tue Sep 05 1995 17:4112
    
    
    I would buy my parent's condo in Millis to save them the hassels of
    trying to sell it before moving to Marco.  Then, I would rent it out,
    because I could make more from renting it than I could if I tried to
    sell it.
    
    
    
    
    Terrie
    
526.96CONSLT::MCBRIDEReformatted to fit your screenTue Sep 05 1995 17:496
    After all it's only a fantasy.  With a $1m jackpot, you would only
    see about 30K/year after taxes.  That would afford a modest home in ME,
    or a condo in Millis, but not property on Marco x 1 let alone x 2 plus
    trust funds for kiddies etc.  Maybe with a $10m jackpot but not $1m.
    
    
526.97It's my fantacy. I make the rules. :*)NETCAD::WOODFORDWhere do I begin?....etc.Tue Sep 05 1995 17:525
    
    
    I was thinking more on the idea of getting it all at once, and the
    $1M figure was meant to be after taxes.
    
526.98POLAR::RICHARDSONAREAS is a dirty wordTue Sep 05 1995 20:543
    Last saturday's loto 6/49 jackpot was 25 million. 4 people won.
    
    Imagine 25 million all in one shot, tax free?
526.99PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BTue Sep 05 1995 20:563
  that's alota condos in Millis.

526.100CSOA1::LEECHDia do bheatha.Tue Sep 05 1995 21:011
    I've won a SNARF!
526.101whine, wine, whine.POLAR::WILSONCA dog is a womans best manFri Sep 08 1995 23:467
    Re .90
    
    I suppose everything you do, everything you buy, etc., etc., is done
    with the foreknowledge of any impending doom that will result from your
    actions. Give me a break. 
    
    
526.102SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Sun Sep 10 1995 15:514
    .88
    
    Since you have the money to blow, use $20,000 cars. People will be less
    likely to bulldoze them out of the way using redneck pickups.
526.103SUBPAC::SADINfrankly scallop, I don't give a clam!Sun Sep 10 1995 16:205
    
    	hey, where can ya git one o' dem rednecked pick'emups?
    
    
    
526.104SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Sun Sep 10 1995 16:314
    I'll sell you mine for $3K.
    
    Comes complete with an assortment of useless tools that I can't quite
    throw away.
526.105SUBPAC::SADINfrankly scallop, I don't give a clam!Sun Sep 10 1995 16:394
    	
    	I've got tools like that....:)
    
    
526.106GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERNRA memberMon Sep 11 1995 11:393
    
    
    The minute you get rid of them, you need them.
526.107SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Sep 11 1995 12:102
    Exactly, which is why I still have a sprocket-end left handed
    defribulator for a '69 Volvo.
526.108DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 15:1513
    
    > Exactly, which is why I still have a sprocket-end left handed
    > defribulator for a '69 Volvo.

    WOW you've got one of them!  I've been lookin' for one for years....
    :-)   I'll trade ya me reverse threaded, open-end pneumatic wrench for
    it.

    BTW on redneck pickups... I's got one too.  '84 4" suspension lift, 33
    inch tires... rides like a bear, but way cool.  All I need now is a new
    confederate flag.... Some pinhead stole my last one when I parked in
    Cambridge.

526.109MPGS::MARKEYMercenary geeks rool!Mon Sep 11 1995 15:208
    >BTW on redneck pickups... I's got one too.  '84 4" suspension lift, 33
    >inch tires... rides like a bear, but way cool.  All I need now is a new
    >confederate flag.... Some pinhead stole my last one when I parked in
    >Cambridge.
    
    Why not just stamp "idjit" on your forehead and be done with it?
    
    -b
526.110SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Sep 11 1995 16:024
    .108
    
    I used to have a Honda rear suspension spring adjuster, but I can't
    seem to remember where I put it...howzit work?
526.112DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 17:1414
    
    re:.109
    
    > Why not just stamp "idjit" on your forehead and be done with it?
    
    'cuz then they may not be able to tell me from you... :-)
    
    oh yeah they can, I forgot you da guy who always talks about his
    penis.  I forgot.
    
    re:.110
    
    Jim, that wrench works "wicked pisser"!  Thanks man!
    
526.113MPGS::MARKEYMercenary geeks rool!Mon Sep 11 1995 17:217
    >oh yeah they can, I forgot you da guy who always talks about his
    >penis.  I forgot.
    
    And I even get to use it from time to time, which is why
    I don't behave like you...
    
    -b
526.114POLAR::RICHARDSONDarwinian TrilateralismMon Sep 11 1995 17:234
    From time to time?
    
    How do you hold it in that long. My teeth are floating just thinking
    about it.
526.115DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 17:5613
    
    > >oh yeah they can, I forgot you da guy who always talks about his
    > >penis.  I forgot.
    > 
    > And I even get to use it from time to time, which is why
    > I don't behave like you...

    Ya see Bri, the reason I don't need to talk about myself as you appear
    to is because I believe in using the equipment I was given, not ranting 
    about it.  All things considered, I'm glad I don't behave like you. 
    That would be FAR more embarrassing than allegedly "over-complementing"
    the ladies here in the 'box.

526.116POLAR::RICHARDSONDarwinian TrilateralismMon Sep 11 1995 17:583
    allegedly?!?!!!!???!!!
    
    {thud}
526.117MPGS::MARKEYMercenary geeks rool!Mon Sep 11 1995 18:049
    
    Yeah yeah yeah, whatever Kirby.
    
    If you ever met the woman I'm married to, you'd no doubt try
    to impress her with a display of native sucking noises. But
    the closest you'll ever get apeboy is drooling, when I put
    her picture in my web page.
    
    -b
526.118DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 18:054
    
    Glenn, you mean you think that I over-complement the ladies????  If
    anything, I thought I didn't complement them enough.

526.119POLAR::RICHARDSONDarwinian TrilateralismMon Sep 11 1995 18:065
    {thud}
    
    huh?
    
    {thud}
526.120though you're obtuse and they're (a)cute...WAHOO::LEVESQUEsunlight held together by waterMon Sep 11 1995 18:071
    Compliment. NNTTM
526.121DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 18:096
    
    Glenn, {slap}, Glenn, {slap},  Wake up!
    
    Even after meeting the lovely 'box babes, you think I over do it?  Gee,
    one of the two of us needs glasses, and I think it's you.... :-))))
    
526.122POLAR::RICHARDSONDarwinian TrilateralismMon Sep 11 1995 18:115
    huh?
    
    ohno!
    
    {bluuuuuuuuuuurgh}
526.124DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalMon Sep 11 1995 18:158
    
    > ...among Those Who Count....
    
    Donny, that is the stupidest thing you've ever written, and that is no
    mean feat.
    
    HTH
    
526.125SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Sep 11 1995 18:261
    Hey, pass me some o' dem needles, will ya?
526.126POWDML::HANGGELIPetite Chambre des MauditesMon Sep 11 1995 18:315
    
    Here, and I'm using this really nice Icelandic wool if you'd care to
    share that.
    
    
526.127SPSEG::COVINGTONThere is chaos under the heavens...Mon Sep 11 1995 18:321
    Wool, schmool. I just need sumtin' to click.
526.128Into the valley of death rode Kirby...AIMHI::MARTINactually Rob Cashmon, NHPM::CASHMONTue Sep 12 1995 06:2417
    
    Ah, I see Dan continues to fight his own personal Thermopylae, 
    beleaguered by the terrible hosts of the fabled Those Who Count.
    
    Cannon to the left of him!  Cannon to the right of him!
    
    Courage, Dan!  I'm a rootin' fer ya!
    
    
    
    Well, it's good entertainment, anyway (certainly better than the
    latest installment of the Silva/Krawiecki feud...yawn...)
    
    
    
    Rob
    
526.129DEVLPR::DKILLORANDanimalTue Sep 12 1995 14:103
    
    "That's alright, I like killing Persians in the shade..."

526.130SMURF::WALTERSTue Oct 03 1995 16:183
    
    I'd kill everyone who pissed me off that day and hire The Squeam Team
    to get me off scott free.
526.131DECLNE::REESEToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGroundWed Oct 04 1995 13:515
    Hey Colin, wouldn't you use some of the money to follow your idea
    of taking the Royal Family and bringing them to Disney World and
    turning them into a ride?
    
    
526.132SMURF::WALTERSWed Oct 04 1995 14:433
    
    I don't recall having that idea, but it's tempting.  Very tempting.
    Must think up a catchy name.
526.133DECWIN::JUDYThat's *Ms. Bitch* to you!Wed Oct 04 1995 15:204
    
    
    	Anyone know what the Mass Millions numbers were last night?
    
526.134BUSY::SLABOUNTYA swift kick in the butt - $1Wed Oct 04 1995 15:203
    
    	You didn't win.
    
526.135BIGQ::SILVADiabloWed Oct 04 1995 15:413

	there were 6 of them, with a bonus one.
526.136MM#TIS::HAMBURGERREMEMBER NOVEMBER: FREEDOM COUNTSWed Oct 04 1995 17:173
Herald reports MMillions
7 10 43 44 48 49   bonus 31
526.137CONSLT::MCBRIDEReformatted to fit your screenWed Oct 04 1995 17:202
    Any wieners?
    
526.138BUSY::SLABOUNTYA swift kick in the butt - $1Wed Oct 04 1995 17:213
    
    	Frankly, I'm not sure.
    
526.139GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERNRA fighting for our RIGHTSWed Oct 04 1995 17:253
    
    
    I'm dog tired of these puns....
526.140DECWIN::JUDYThat's *Ms. Bitch* to you!Wed Oct 04 1995 17:467
    
    
    	T'anks.  I'll have to check my tix when I get home.  I
    	did all quick picks so I have no idea what my numbers are.
    
    	(though these are lousy numbers!)
    
526.141BUSY::SLABOUNTYA swift kick in the butt - $1Wed Oct 04 1995 18:229
    
    	Lousy numbers?
    
    	If your numbers were the winning numbers, and they were differ-
    	ent than the numbers I played, then I'd think those were just
    	as lousy.
    
    	8^)
    
526.142DECWIN::JUDYThat's *Ms. Bitch* to you!Wed Oct 04 1995 19:005
    
    
    	Well I suppose that's true......  just yucky odds
    	when four of the numbers are in the 40's I guess....
    
526.143HOZHED::FENNELLA cowboy's life is not for meWed Oct 04 1995 19:261
The winner was bought in Newton
526.144CSC32::J_OPPELTWanna see my scar?Wed Oct 04 1995 21:104
    	Statistically the odds are the same for matching an even 
    	distribution of numbers as they are for matching any specific 
    	6 consecutive numbers.  Chance does not obey human concepts of
    	random.
526.145CONSLT::MCBRIDEReformatted to fit your screenThu Oct 05 1995 13:042
    The winner is a female college student, and now richer by about 700K +/-
    per year after taxes.  
526.146SHRCTR::SCHILTONPress any key..no,no,not that one!Thu Oct 05 1995 14:572
    Ticket bought on her 30th birthday, with her last 3 bucks...
    She's single and took home, after taxes, $784+K
526.147BIGQ::SILVADiabloThu Oct 05 1995 16:021
<---my birthday is Sunday.... all I get to win is the nightly number.... :-(
526.148Talk HardSNOFS1::DAVISMMarty the KidWed Oct 25 1995 00:332
    I wonder what Monday nights lotto numbers were ? I might be a
    millionaire and not even know it !
526.149NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Nov 15 1995 14:1118
A friend told me this story.

A coworker of his was on the phone with his wife.  She had found a Megabucks
ticket on the kitchen table and wanted to know what the winning numbers were.
He looked it up in the paper and read them to her.  She excitedly asked him
to read them again.  It was a match!  He told his coworkers that he'd won
$5,000,000.  He left work early and gave the parking lot attendant a $40 tip,
saying he was now a rich man.  Being a practical fellow, he visited a lawyer
who spent four hours with him telling him how to handle his new wealth.



He later discovered that his mother-in-law had been in a convenience store
and had asked what the winning numbers were.  They gave her a printout from
the lottery machine.  This printout is what his wife found on the kitchen
table.

The parking lot attendant gave him the $40 back.
526.150BIGQ::SILVADiabloWed Nov 15 1995 14:143

	Wow...... 
526.151CSC32::J_OPPELTWanna see my scar?Wed Nov 15 1995 15:539
    	Didn't Massachusetts have 20 winners of one Megabucks lottery
    	drawing about 10 years ago?  The winning number was 1 2 3 4 5 6
    	or something like that.  For that particular drawing the pot
    	was the minimum $400K.  Each winner was given a $20K check 
    	instead of annuitizing over 20 years.
    
    	If I recall the story, one 'winner' called up his boss and
    	quit with bridge-burning language.  He had not yet discovered
    	that he would be splitting the pot.
526.152BIGQ::SILVADiabloWed Nov 15 1995 16:009


	I'm not sure if this was the same one Joe was talking about, but I know
someone who won with a lot of other people (about the same number Joe talked
of) who gets a check for about 9k every year.


Glen
526.153NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Nov 15 1995 16:039
>    	If I recall the story, one 'winner' called up his boss and
>    	quit with bridge-burning language.

Fortunately for my friend's coworker (a "couldn't happen to a nicer guy" type),
he didn't do this.  The worst he did was this: the company recently cut over
to a new, much hated, computer system.  He was scheduled to get 4 days'
training in this system.  He was so happy at the prospect of not taking the
training or using the system that he went into a currently running class
and said "I'm not going to have to take this training.  I'm a millionaire!"
526.154CSLALL::HENDERSONFriend, will you be ready?Wed Nov 15 1995 23:454


 Whoops..
526.155the reall a wish!FABSIX::L_GARDNERMon Dec 18 1995 00:203
    
    ok...that's all fine and dandy but what if someone gave you 20 billion,
    after tax's......hmmmm...that's a lot of cash.:)
526.156NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Mar 07 1996 15:074
A while ago I mentioned that the Mass Lottery was now mailing me
buy-1-get-1-free coupons rather than free coupons for lottery tickets.
Somebody asked for the coupons.  Please step forward (and kindly point
me to the note in which you requested them).
526.157GAVEL::JANDROWi think, therefore i have a headacheFri Mar 08 1996 12:387
    
    i think that was me...
    
    
    let me go back and find out where that note was...
    
    
526.158GAVEL::JANDROWi think, therefore i have a headacheFri Mar 08 1996 12:5912
    
    i can't find it where i thought it ought to be.
    but i still think it was me...it stemmed from my request for the winner
    powerball number or something like that and someone informed me that
    the lottery was a tax on idiots, or something to that effect and then
    you piped in saying how you always toss the freebies you get and i
    popped in with my mailstop or something asking you to send them my way.
    
    
    does that count???
    
    
526.159'GAVEL::JANDROWi think, therefore i have a headacheFri Mar 08 1996 16:226
    
    oh yeah, and the person who had the 18million winning ticket from a few
    weeks ago finally claimed the ticket.  lives in quincy and manages a
    north shore chinese restaurant...
    
    
526.160BIGQ::MARCHANDFri Mar 08 1996 16:293
    
    lucky guy!
    
526.161POLAR::RICHARDSONAlrighty, bye bye then.Fri Mar 08 1996 16:311
    Now he can open that boob cake store he always dreamed about.
526.162BIGQ::MARCHANDFri Mar 08 1996 16:311
    I wonder if he's looking for a wife?   8*)))))))
526.163BIGQ::MARCHANDFri Mar 08 1996 16:313
    
    
      .161  I'll even pose for the cake for that kind of money!!!!!!!
526.164BUSY::SLABOUNTYDon't like my p_n? 1-800-328-7448Fri Mar 08 1996 16:436
    
    	So tell us ... would that be a big boob cake or a little boob
    	cake?
    
    	Inquiring minds and all that, you know?
    
526.165SMURF::WALTERSFri Mar 08 1996 16:441
    Shawn loves to stay abreast of things.
526.166CNTROL::JENNISONJoin me in glad adorationFri Mar 08 1996 16:596
    
    
    	I solemnly promise that one day, I will pinch each and every
    	one of Glenn's personalities.
    
    
526.167BIGQ::MARCHANDFri Mar 08 1996 18:303
    
    
       Ask Glen.
526.168BIGQ::SILVABenevolent 'pedagogues' of humanityFri Mar 08 1996 18:313

	I only have one, Rose...sick. :-)  Glenn has about 20 or so....
526.169BIGQ::SILVABenevolent 'pedagogues' of humanityFri Mar 08 1996 18:323

	I've won a 69 snarf!!!
526.170BIGQ::MARCHANDFri Mar 08 1996 18:342
    
       .168   one what?
526.171BIGQ::SILVABenevolent 'pedagogues' of humanityFri Mar 08 1996 18:371
personality
526.172hoho ha. just kidding.PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BFri Mar 08 1996 18:394
	and that's rounding up.  


526.173BIGQ::SILVABenevolent 'pedagogues' of humanityFri Mar 08 1996 18:471
wow...never saw that one coming.... :-)
526.174CNTROL::JENNISONJoin me in glad adorationFri Mar 08 1996 18:564
    
    	.172 just about made my day