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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:	Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:	No more new notes
Moderator:	WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS

Created:	Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	862
Total number of notes:	339684

856.0. "potential investment opportunity" by SALEM::BURGER (NORM) Wed Apr 30 1997 02:29

    I've got a potentially dynamite idea for a new product and would be
    interested to hear from possible investors.  The product taps the
    ever growing need for protecting one's automobile against theft.
    The LoJack system is only good once your car has been stolen - the
    better way is to prevent your car from being stolen in the first place.
    Therefore I present my proposed product - the Club...Sandwich
    
    Here's how it works - when you need to leave your car unattended you
    take this giant vinyl inflatable replica of a club sandwich and blow
    it up.  This object then occupies the entire driver and front passenger
    area of your vehicle thus rendering it too cramped for any solo
    auto thief and muh much too cramped for any team of thieves.  Just the
    sight of this bizarre inflatable lurking in your car should be enough
    to convince any sensible felon to find a less formidable opponent. 
    Just in case though the device would be inflated by gas which would
    serve as a sleep inducing agent in case the thief tried to cleverly
    defeat it by deflating or puncturing it.
    
    Any thoughts on whether this has the commercial potential to make it
    in the marketplace?  Any suggestions to make it better?

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
856.1		POLAR::RICHARDSON	A stranger in my own life	`Wed Apr 30 1997 02:34`	1
	oozing miracle whip, and lots of it.
856.2		CSLALL::HENDERSON	Give the world a smile each day	`Wed Apr 30 1997 03:02`	12
	I'd leave out the little toothpicks, though... Hey! I got it..when disarming airbags, which seems to be the thing to do these days...why not set them up as a theft deterrent? When setting the alarm, it arms the airbags and if someone attempts to steal the car, the airbag inflates!
856.3		ACISS1::BATTIS	EDS bound	`Wed Apr 30 1997 12:27`	3
	look Burger, I'm the original Burger Boy in here. Change your last name, ok?
856.4		SMURF::WALTERS		`Wed Apr 30 1997 12:38`	5
	You have patty pending, Mark? I can't comment on the Club. When it comes to theft deterrents I'm only a hamchewer.
856.5		SALEM::DODA	Don't make me come down there...	`Wed Apr 30 1997 13:19`	7
	Norm, It's only spring, but the sun can be strong even this early in the season. Please make every effort not to spend too much time outside again ok? daryll
856.6		ACISS1::BATTIS	EDS bound	`Wed Apr 30 1997 13:34`	4
	Norm, what daryll really meant to say was, please don't get sunburned out in the open air. He's concerned that it may lead to premature brain cell loss. He's really looking out for your best interest.
856.7		SALEM::DODA	Don't make me come down there...	`Wed Apr 30 1997 13:39`	2
	Sitting two rows away from Norm, I can unfortunately say, that it may be too late Mark.
856.8	another idea	SALEM::BURGER	NORM	`Wed Apr 30 1997 15:00`	14
	Ok - here's a better idea. I call it the club (not to be confused with The Club). The club is these four guys who will ride - actually they will live - in your car. When you have to park and leave your car somewhere these guys hang out in the car doing what guys do when they are in a club - sit around, listen to the radio, have something to eat, whatever. Not only does their mere presence serve as a great deterrent but also there simply is not enough room left in the vehicle for someone to get in to steal it. For small cars that can't accomodate the four guys there would be the scaled down version called the small club made up of just two guys. There is a potentially large group of people available to work in the club - just with homeless people alone there would be a large pool to draw from. So can you hear the bucks rolling in already for this blockbuster idea?
856.9		SMURF::BINDER	Errabit quicquid errare potest.	`Wed Apr 30 1997 18:58`	1
	Daryll, could you maybe reach over and club Norm?
856.10		POLAR::RICHARDSON	A stranger in my own life	`Wed Apr 30 1997 18:59`	1
	Club Med while you're at it.
856.11		SALEM::DODA	Don't make me come down there...	`Wed Apr 30 1997 19:00`	1
	What's it worth to you?
856.12		POLAR::RICHARDSON	A stranger in my own life	`Wed Apr 30 1997 19:05`	1
	you ask that a lot eh?
856.13		SALEM::DODA	Don't make me come down there...	`Wed Apr 30 1997 19:15`	1
	You'd be amazed at some of the answers I get.
856.14	Hmm.	NETCAD::CREEGAN		`Thu May 01 1997 16:42`	10
	My feelings are still hurt from when my car radio was stolen. They (the "bad guys") didn't know how to drive a standard transmission so they pushed my car down the street. Once they cut all the wires they removed my favorite cassette out of the cassette drive and stole the radio/cassette unit. My radio/cassette unit was good enough for them, but they did not like my taste in music. :-( Could you make that into some kind of deterent?
856.15	as bad as theft, only more depressing...	GAAS::BRAUCHER	And nothing else matters	`Thu May 01 1997 17:54`	8
	The same sort of thing happened when I lived in the city. Burglars broke into my apartment, ransacked all my closets, drawers, put all my possessions in a pile in the middle of the room, took nothing, and left. bb
856.16	<-- that's pretty funny, you know	ASIC::RANDOLPH	Tom R. N1OOQ	`Fri May 02 1997 13:52`	0
856.17	Related DB humour...	GRINCH::KALIN	IfUcantStandWinter,UdontDeserveSummer	`Fri May 02 1997 19:43`	4
	RE: .14, .15 See: www.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert970330.html
856.18	Use Less	SWAM1::BUDZOWSKI_JO		`Mon May 12 1997 19:53`	23
	The Cub - a cute bear cub is left in the front seat with a sign that says "Mother is very near' The Cob - a cob of corn is positioned so as to cause discomfort when the thief sits down The Cab - a cab meter in the car starts displaying charges for using the car, and also displays the jail sentence for car theft The Crab - a large crab is kept under the seat and bites the ankle of the thief The Crap - it's what you're sitting in if you steal the car The Cup - Large hot of MacDunno's coffee, burns crotch area The Cast-Rator - Men who steal cars equiped with this device will not remain so for long. The HiJack-a-Lot - plays adult videos on dashboard, distracting thief
856.19		NNTPD::"walters@ddraig.zk3.dec.com"		`Fri May 30 1997 15:41`	22
	And now, from DreadWol enterprises, Inventers of the Ronco Apostrophe Inserter [(R)-sole proprieters] we bring you: "The Graduation Bumblebee Cardiogram". <full page image> Ulric, a small cuddly half-bee in cap and semi-gown. Ulric olding a tiny copy of the college tuition bill, and a printout of your ECGs going off the scale as you signed the check. Only $300. [What they heck, we _know_ you can afford it] Unlike bear-grams, Ulric the Bee is life-sized!! Any resemblence to other half-bees, living or dead, is purely coincidental. [Posted by WWW Notes gateway]