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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

610.0. "Those Who Count" by MPGS::MARKEY (No thanks, I already don't have one) Wed Dec 06 1995 19:41

    Those Who Count.
    
    The group identified by the infamous and now departed Donald
    Topaz. One would assume Mr. Topaz thought he "counted". But
    who ARE the mysterious Those Who Count?
    
    This note is NOT to nominate your favorite box curmudgoen.
    It is to describe the QUALITIES that, in your humble opinion,
    qualify a boxer as One Who Counts. In the unlikely event
    that we actually agree on what Makes One Count, perhaps then
    we can venture to make a list of names.
    
    My criteria:
    
    	- Must have a brain the size of a planet.
    
    	- Must have a great sense of humor.
    
    	- Must not be noticably anal retentive.
    
    	- Must drink heavily at innapropriate times and make
    	  career threatening confessions.
    
    	- Must get laid at least once a month (to preserve item# 2)
    
    	- Must bathe regularly or, as an alternative, have experience
    	  hacking the Unix kernel.
    
    -b
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
610.1LANDO::OLIVER_Bwe put the fun in dysfunctional!Wed Dec 06 1995 19:461
    planet or peanut?
610.2MPGS::MARKEYNo thanks, I already don't have oneWed Dec 06 1995 19:474
    
    Don't worry Oph, you fit either way. :-)
    
    -b
610.3PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BWed Dec 06 1995 19:484
  what's this?  nothing about knowing more famous musicians than
  you can shake a drum stick at?  hmm.

610.4LANDO::OLIVER_Bwe put the fun in dysfunctional!Wed Dec 06 1995 19:501
    phew.  i am relieved.
610.5MPGS::MARKEYNo thanks, I already don't have oneWed Dec 06 1995 19:514
    
    Depends on whether it's a qualifying or disqualifying consideration...

    -b
610.6CNTROL::JENNISONRevive us, Oh LordWed Dec 06 1995 19:555
    
    	Well, number 4 counts me out.
    
    	di, you sound bitter.
    
610.7PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BWed Dec 06 1995 19:586
  .6  aagagagag!  <wiping away tear>

   by the way, i'm disqualified on several counts. ;>


610.8LANDO::OLIVER_Bwe put the fun in dysfunctional!Wed Dec 06 1995 20:011
    no way!
610.9MPGS::MARKEYNo thanks, I already don't have oneWed Dec 06 1995 20:0116
    
    You two! Is there no end to the $#!+ you're willing to give
    one humin bean? :-) :-)
    
    Listen up, you're not getting this. It's not to decide whether
    you fit according to my list, it's to say what would be
    YOUR qualifying/disqualifying characteristics.
    
    For example:
    
    	- Must not be bitter because some other little fart face
    	  got the gig.
    
    See?... easy.
    
    -b  
610.10PENUTS::DDESMAISONSperson BWed Dec 06 1995 20:078
    
  >  Listen up, you're not getting this.

     okay, so what you're saying is that we're disqualified under
     #1 then.  Karen?  are you as crushed as i am?


   
610.11CONSLT::MCBRIDEpack light, keep low, move fast, reload oftenWed Dec 06 1995 20:081
    We already have a note for what makes a quality boxer........
610.12Don't worry, you're still in with #1MPGS::MARKEYNo thanks, I already don't have oneWed Dec 06 1995 20:098
    
    #1, BTW, refers to the "Marvin the Robot" character in Douglas
    Adam's "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"...
    
    "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and all they ask me
    to do is..."
    
    -b
610.13MPGS::MARKEYNo thanks, I already don't have oneWed Dec 06 1995 20:117
    
    > We already have a note for what makes a quality boxer........
    
    Well. Then take me out and shoot me now; life just isn't
    worth it anymore...
    
    -b
610.14Or is it posterierity?SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 06 1995 20:135
    
    Same here... shoot me too...
    
    But save the spandex for posterity!!!!
    
610.15SMURF::WALTERSWed Dec 06 1995 20:1610
    Android.  Marvin The Paranoid Android.  It's very important not to
    call him a robot because he gets a terrible pain in all the diodes
    down his left side.  My fave quote from Marv was when he got left in
    the restaurant at the end of the universe:
    
    	"The first three million years were the worse.  Then the next three
         million years were also the worse.  After that, I went into a bit
         of a decline...."
    
    
610.16We appologize for the inconvience.HIGHD::FLATMANGive2TheMegan&amp;KennethCollegeFundWed Dec 06 1995 20:215
    I personally liked when they passed Marvin on the way to God's last
    message to creation.  He informs them that he's done enough time travel
    that he is officially 3 times older than the universe itself and during
    that time he's had everything replaced.  Everything except those diodes
    that cause him pain on his left side.
610.17I think I'll head out to Kleiner Deutschmann now...COVERT::COVERTJohn R. CovertWed Dec 06 1995 20:371
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 A B C D E F 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 1A 1B 1C ...
610.18BUSY::SLABOUNTYDon't drink the (toilet) water.Wed Dec 06 1995 20:425
    
>1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 A B C D E F 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 1A 1B 1C ...
    
    	What the hex that supposed to mean????
    
610.19Defining CriteriaSTOWOA::PJOHNSONaut disce, aut discedeWed Dec 06 1995 20:446
How about

Subscribes to Groucho's "I wouldn't join any club that would have me
as a member"

Or to that effect...
610.20CONSLT::MCBRIDEpack light, keep low, move fast, reload oftenWed Dec 06 1995 20:581
    No, no shooting.  Far too harsh.  
610.21?VMSNET::M_MACIOLEKFour54 Camaro/Only way to flyWed Dec 06 1995 23:262
    "I'm Relavent".
    -William Jefferson Abraham Lincoln Joe Stalin Klinton.
610.22TROOA::COLLINSDreaming on our dimes...Thu Dec 07 1995 02:045
    
    "Dog-gone it...people *like* me!"
    
    		- Stuart Smalley
    
610.23WAHOO::LEVESQUEsmooth, fast, bright and playfulThu Dec 07 1995 11:0743
    >	- Must have a brain the size of a planet.
    
     Preferably a working one. ie, one must be capable of independent
    thought.
    
    >	- Must have a great sense of humor.
    
     A sharp wit is especially favored, but even an appreciation for the
    same will qualify.
    
    >	- Must not be noticably anal retentive.
    
     You can be anal retentive, unless that's all you are.
    
    >	- Must drink heavily at innapropriate times and make
    >	  career threatening confessions.
    
     Limited exceptions can be made to this rule, dependent on other
    factors.
    
    >	- Must get laid at least once a month (to preserve item# 2)
    
     Sorry. No exceptions. :-)
    
    >	- Must bathe regularly or, as an alternative, have experience
    >	  hacking the Unix kernel.
    
     Regular bathing is a must. Preferably in water as opposed to eau de
    toilette.
    
    I'll add to the list the following:
    
    Must have an appreciation for non-technical things. Art, music, unnamed
    agricultural products, food, etc.
    
    Must be able to carry on a conversation without instilling a sense of
    "omigawd, how'd I get stuck talking to this person?" in others.
    
    Must personally identify with at least 3 of the following terms:
    
     passion, compassion, honesty, responsibility, character
    
    Ego must fall short of boorishness. (At least most of the time.) :-)
610.24MKOTS3::JOLLIMOREthis the season?Thu Dec 07 1995 11:231
	- must be capable of insulting someone in at least 2 languages
610.25MKOTS3::JOLLIMOREthis the season?Thu Dec 07 1995 11:241
	- must have the ability to insult someone with a compliment
610.26ACISS2::LEECHDia do bheatha.Thu Dec 07 1995 11:281
    Ta' tu' muc!  8^)
610.27SMURF::WALTERSThu Dec 07 1995 11:291
    pisiwch adref, twll dyn.
610.28TROOA::COLLINSDreaming on our dimes...Thu Dec 07 1995 11:305
    
    Ban the Welsh!
    
    - John Walsh
    
610.29SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 07 1995 11:363
    
    Hey!!! I like grape jelly!!!!!!
    
610.31SMURF::WALTERSThu Dec 07 1995 11:594
    > Ban the Welsh!
    
    I don't need Ban.  I already bathed in toilet water.  And it was bloody
    hard fitting in that toilet, I can tell you.
610.32POLAR::RICHARDSONCPU CyclerThu Dec 07 1995 12:061
        Perhaps you're a leper con.
610.33BROKE::PVTPARTSThu Dec 07 1995 14:533
    
    call me humorless...
    
610.34Okay... you're..SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 07 1995 16:121
    
610.35POLAR::WILSONCstrive to look better nakedFri Dec 08 1995 23:471
    those who count those, who count, those who count.
610.36BIGQ::SILVAEAT, Pappa, EAT!Mon Dec 11 1995 11:461
1,2,3 errr....4..phew... 5,6,7,8,9....