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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

603.0. "Ann Landers, Dear Abby, etc." by STOWOA::PJOHNSON (aut disce, aut discede) Fri Dec 01 1995 16:51

Since Ann Landers was gracious enough to apologize for her use of the
work 'polack' when talking about the Pope, I think she deserves her
own topic. What the hell, there's one for everything else, right?

We can also discuss her sister, Abigale (Dear Abby) Van Buren and any
other advice columnists deserving of our consideration, even male
advice columnists, if there are any.

So that we should all be on an even playing field -- targets included
-- no brains, sense, taste, or agenda is required.

You're welcome.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
603.1SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIif u cn rd ths, u nd to gt a lyfFri Dec 01 1995 16:529
    
    
    Moderators???
    
    Should I be offended (penultimately) by the "P-word" being used in
    .0???
    
     Should I care???
    
603.2GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERRIP Amos, you will be missedFri Dec 01 1995 16:558
    
    
    We didn't think a polack would be smart enough to be able to read .0.
    
    
    hth,
    
    
603.3SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIif u cn rd ths, u nd to gt a lyfFri Dec 01 1995 16:564
    
    
    My lawyer will be in touch...
    
603.4WAHOO::LEVESQUEsmooth, fast, bright and playfulFri Dec 01 1995 16:561
    with himself
603.5GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERRIP Amos, you will be missedFri Dec 01 1995 16:573
    
    
    What's her name?
603.6MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Fri Dec 01 1995 17:022
Abigail, isn't it?

603.7CSLALL::HENDERSONFriend, will you be ready?Fri Dec 01 1995 17:114


 Wish I could remember the words to John Prine's Dear Abby song.
603.8And the real name is!MIMS::SANDERS_JFri Dec 01 1995 17:313
    re. 5
    
    Eppy or Eppie Ledherer
603.9GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERRIP Amos, you will be missedFri Dec 01 1995 17:3411
    
    
    Dear Abby dear Abby, you won't believe this,
    my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss,
    My girlfriend she tells me it's all in my head,
    My ? ? it tells me to write you instead
    
    
    siiggnnned,
    
    ?
603.10ACISS1::BATTISA few cards short of a full deckFri Dec 01 1995 17:382
    
    Eppie Lederer I believe.
603.11POWDML::HANGGELILittle Chamber of Tummy TimeFri Dec 01 1995 17:405
    
    Eppie (Esther Pauline) and Popo (Pauline Esther) Lederer.  Don't know
    which is Abby and which is Ann, tho.
    
    
603.12The girl can't help itDECWIN::RALTOClinto Barada NiktoFri Dec 01 1995 17:5312
    I think that my favorite Abby/Ann quote (can't remember which one
    said it) was when she "'fessed up" that when she was a young teenager
    sitting in the backseat with a boyfriend, when they kissed, she had
    an irresistable urge to squirm her bottom around, and how scandalous
    it was, and how she was constantly embarrassed by it, but couldn't
    control it.
    
    A girl had written in with the same problem (what an amazing
    coincidence!...), which prompted Abby/Ann to delight us with her
    naughty nostalgia.
    
    Chris
603.13MKOTS3::JOLLIMOREI'm drowning in youFri Dec 01 1995 18:0037
                   Dear Abby
 
 Dear Abby, Dear Abby; My feet are too long,
 My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong.
 My friends they all tell me I've no friends at all,
 Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call.
 Signed, Bewildered.

 Chorus:   Bewildered,bewildered you have no complaint,
 You are what you are and you aint what you aint.
 So listen up buster and listen up good,
 Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
 Signed, Dear Abby.
 
 Dear Abby,Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks.
 My wife hollars at me and my kids are all freaks.
 Every side I get up is the wrong side of bed,
 If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead.
 Signed, Unhappy.

 cho:  Unhappy,Unhappy, you have no complaint ...

 Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this,
 But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.
 My girlfriend tells me its all in my head,
 But my stomach tells me to write you instead.
 Signed, Noise-maker.  
	
cho: Noise-maker,Noise-maker, ...

 Dear Abby, Dear Abby, I never'd have thought,
 That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught.
 We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze,
 With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees.
 Signed, Just Married. 
	
cho: Just Married, Just Married, ...
603.14DECLNE::REESEMy REALITY check bouncedFri Dec 01 1995 19:597
    .13  That's great :-)
    
    
    
    Mz Deb, will you sing a few bars for us?
    
    
603.15CSLALL::HENDERSONFriend, will you be ready?Fri Dec 01 1995 20:0510


 Should be easy to play on guitar.  Prine only knows 3 chords G, C and D.




 
JIm
603.16MKOTS3::JOLLIMOREI'm drowning in youMon Dec 04 1995 12:4337
 
                   Dear Abby

 
 G                          C          G
                               D
 G                                C           G
                                        D       G
 C    D  G

            G                             C   G

                              D
 G                       C         G
                               D           G
 C    D  G
 
 G                       C            G
                              D
 G                           C            G
                                       D     G
 C    D  G

       G                         C  G
 
 G                         C          G
                              D
 G                           C        G
                                 D    G
 C    D  G                   G
 
 G                               C    G

                                 D
 G                                C              G
                                 D                G
 C    D  G                   G
603.17he's not that limited :-)MILVAX::DCLARKvoodoo mathematicianMon Dec 04 1995 13:133
    re .15
    
    Prine plays an A once in a while e.g. Fish and Whistle
603.18CSLALL::HENDERSONFriend, will you be ready?Mon Dec 04 1995 13:2017
    
>    Prine plays an A once in a while e.g. Fish and Whistle


   I was going to mention that.  I love that song..


  "I been thinkin' lately 'bout the people I meet
   carwash on the corner and the hole in the street
   how my ankles hurt with shoes on my feet
   I wonder if I'll ever see tomorrow.."


  "when I got a job I said thank you please
   they made me scrub the parking lot down on my knees
   then I got fired for bein' scared o' bees
   they only gave me 50 cents an hour"
603.19WMOIS::GIROUARD_CMon Dec 04 1995 15:039
    there was an interview with some chairperson or something for the
    support of Polish people or religions or something that was climbing
    all over poor Annie for the remark. 
    
    when they asked him if the apology was enough he said definitely not.
    she needs to get involved and volunteer to support and act on behalf 
    of Polish people and their issues in the U.S... 
    
    Question... anyone seen this list of issues?
603.20SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Tue Dec 05 1995 17:257
    
    
    She needs to take some Polish sensytyvyty training...
    
    
    
    P.S. I will supply the sledge-hammer
603.21MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaWed Dec 06 1995 12:1713
    Dear Abby,
    
    I am dating a woman who is out on parol for smothering her infant 6
    month old. I have two brothers in the house of correction for armed
    robbery. My sister is up for prostution and drugs. My mother was shot
    in a gang bang/drive by shooting by one of her gang members... And,...
    I have a brother who works for Digital. 
    
    My problem is... should I tell my girlfriend about my brother who works
    for Digital?
    
    Signed 
    Confused
603.22SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 06 1995 12:519
    
    Dear Confused,
    
     Take advantage of your spell-checker before writing again...
    
    Hugs and Kisses,
    
     Abby
    
603.23MKOTS3::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaWed Dec 06 1995 12:565
    Dear .22,
    
    It aint mapped on me keyboard.:)
    
    
603.24SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 06 1995 13:083
    
    I understand, that along with the Ronco Apostrophe Remover, Wal-Mart
    also has a sale on the Ronco Apostrophe Adder...
603.25POLAR::RICHARDSONCPU CyclerWed Dec 06 1995 13:171
    Is that some kind of snake?
603.26All depends on the color...SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 06 1995 13:181
    
603.27CSLALL::HENDERSONFriend, will you be ready?Wed Dec 06 1995 13:229

 So, Jollimore gives me the lyrics and chords, now I'm trying to remember the
 melody of the song (which I kinda remember) and I get it mixed up with the
 melody of "The Times they are a' changin'" by Bob Dylan :-/



 Guess I have to dig up my tape of Prine doing the song
603.28BUSY::SLABOUNTYCatch you later!!Wed Dec 06 1995 13:326
    
    	Dear Abby,
    
    	I am one of a pair of Siamese twins.  How do I keep my brother
    	from tagging along on my dates?
    
603.29Play some other game...SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Wed Dec 06 1995 13:331
    
603.30A Friend Needs HelpICS::EWINGThu Dec 07 1995 12:5412
    
     Dear Abby,
    
     I have a very good friend who works for Digital. She will be leaving
     Digital to work for another company. She was to embarrassed to write
     or respond. She asked me to for her. She would like to know will her
     new co-workers will receive her well as they did at Digital? She also
     would like to know whether or not will she miss the love, non-stress,
     unity and peace of mind that she experienced at Digital at her new
     job? She is leaving Digital for more money and job advancements. She
     would like to know, "will she really miss D-I-G-I-T-A-L" when she 
     leaves?
603.31SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 07 1995 12:5912
    
    Dear Friend...
    
     If her new co-workers are as decent, loving, caring and understanding
    as those found in a certain notes conference named ::SOAPBOX, then she
    will have no problem adjusting to her new job...
    
      Oh BTW! Tell her the tooth-fairy will be by her house tonight
    promptly at midnight...!!
    
     Abby
    
603.32POLAR::RICHARDSONCPU CyclerThu Dec 07 1995 13:031
    P.S.   Tell her to waer that thong I sent her in the mail. Hubba Hubba.
603.33:)SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIRhubarb... celery gone bloodshot.Thu Dec 07 1995 13:121
    
603.34Much ObligedICS::EWINGThu Dec 07 1995 13:1212
    
    re. 31
    
     Dear Abby,
    
     Thanks for a very quick response. I will forward .31 to my friend.
     I know she will be much obliged. Dear Abby, you are really good.
    
     Oh! By the way, my friend told me to tell you, "Dear Abby" that
     she want be home tonight, she's sleeping over my house tonight.
     
     Thanks!