Conference back40::soapbox

    Glen, sorry I called you the derivation of a donkey yesterday!

	Jack, I'm sorry that I called you a Richard Head a few weeks ago.

    
    take it to the friends notesfile

    Can't.  I have no friends and I'm mean spirited!

    Do I really need to take these suppositories?

If you have sincere, heart-felt apologies, wouldn't MAIL be a better way?

Of course it would.  Try that instead.  

And if we THOUGHT before we noted, there'd be little need for apologies!

\john

There's also that little message that says:

	Your reply is complete.  Proceed to enter it? (Y/N) <Y>

Maybe the default should be changed to <N>.

    Well, it could be kind of like group therapy.
    
    

    I think suppository is correct.  I believe Jack is really saying to take
    the apology and apply it per the traditional directions for such an 
    object.  In that context, I apologize for anything I have said or done
    now or in the future.  
    
    Brian

    
    
    
    I'm sorry that you are a bunch of self gratification hungry idjits who 
    feel compelled to put your apologies in here for everyone to see.
    
    
    hth,
    
    Mike

    
    I apologize for wanting to put Vaseline on my sz. 9 boot before kicking
    some ass...
    

    Ooh, we're all aquiver now, Andy. :-)

    Why not kick all of it instead of just some of it?

    
    .10
    
    Mike's still embarrassed about Topic 396!
    
    ;^)
    

    I think somebody in this here conference owes Suzanne an apology.

    
    
    Be our guest, Jack...
    

    Suzanne, on behalf of out insensitive bretheren, I apologize.

    
    beats in insensative bretheren I suppose

    
    	RE: .18
    
    	Over 1/2 hour and no one said
    
    	"Speak for yourself!!"?
    

    
    re: .20
    
    Why? 
    
     I don't consider myself a "out insensitive bretheren"...
    
    
     :)
    

That should be "I don't consider myself an 'out insensitive bretheren'..."
					^^

No, "a" was a incorrect usage.

    
    
    Okay... you called me on it.... explain why...
    

Because it's before a vowel sound.

    
    Dick, Dick, grammar explanation needed, though I am betting on
    Gerald. :-)

    >Okay... you called me on it.... explain why...
    
     After he explains it, pretend you heard someone else use it that way
    and start some silly etymological discussion (then accuse someone else
    of insensitivity for joking about dead people, or something similarly
    irrelevant.)

    an out...  because, as Gerald says, it'e before a vowel sound.

    
    re: .26
    
    >Because it's before a vowel sound.
    
    No... it's before a double quote (")
    
    re: .28
    
    Okay Mark... give me a little time though okay? Hmmmmm... in the
    meantime, can you think of a dead person that we might interject into
    the conversation? Just to make it interesting?
    

>    No... it's before a double quote (")

I didn't say "vowel," I said "vowel sound."  Thus, it's "an honor" despite
the consonant "h".  What sound does a double quote make?  [Spare me the
Victor Borge shtick.]

    
    	Andy's got you there ... the "sound of a double quote" is "q"
    	if you're going to use the word "quote" when reciting the line.
    
    	He got me, too.
    

    .30
    
    You're wrong, Andy.  Are you man enough to admit it, or are you going
    to start Suzanning your way into a deeper pit?
    
    Victor Borge isn't dead, but he's almost there, so you could call him
    pendead, probably.

But he said quote
I'd like to help you son
But you're too young to vote.

    
    
    No!! No!!! I won't relent!!!!
    
    Jerry Garcia!!! Do you hear!!! Jerry Garcia!!!!
    
    What are you doing Gerald? Dick?
    
    Don't do that Gerald... Dick...
    
    Daisy.. Daisy... give me... your.... answer..... doooooooooo

    
    	I apologise for seeming to have a low level of testosterone...
    
    
    

    	I don't get it.  If we have the phrase, "the elephant" we use a
    	long e (which effectively ends in the y sound to separate the
    	two vowel sounds).  So why don't we use the long a sound for
    	things like "a out..."?
    
    	After all, this is a living language...
    
    	Actually, we should be efficient and do like the French do, and
    	simply say th'elephant.

    .37
    
    Except that the French don't always do that.  In French, "bean" is
    "haricot."  And it's le haricot, not l'haricot, despite the fact that
    there's no "H" sound.  There's just a glottal stop between the two
    words.

    
    
    RE: .36  Sokay Jim now use your apron to wipe that tear from your eye,
    your mascara's running.

    	.38 --  Well, Dick, that's just like the French to mess up our
    	living language dreams.

    
    
    	thanks Mike....yer all heart....
    
    

| <<< Note 579.6 by ALPHAZ::HARNEY "John A Harney" >>>


| If you have sincere, heart-felt apologies, wouldn't MAIL be a better way?

	No. It does not work. There are some who don't see it, and go mental
all over ya! It HAS happened!

    Well, I see that some folks from the 'Interference in other cultures'
    topic have come here to insert their apologies up their own rectums.
    
    Ok.  :)

What about notes-flowers?  I'm sure I've seen ansi-art somewhere which 
featured bunches of flowers...
No hay-fever!


\C

Whoops - Suzannes put her note in as I was typing mine

I'm *sorry* - I was *NOT* suggesting that anyone do _anything_ with flowers. 


AAARRRRrrrgggghhhh.

\C

    RE: .45  \C
    
    Strange title for a topic, eh?  :)
    

    OOOOOOHHHHHH.....
    
    I meant repository.  Sorry!

    Nah, I think you used the word you intended to use, Jack.  If not,
    you'd have corrected it before now.
    
================================================================================
Note 579.9                   The Apology Suppository                     9 of 47
CONSLT::MCBRIDE "Reformatted to fit your screen"      6 lines  14-NOV-1995 11:23
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I think suppository is correct.  I believe Jack is really saying to take
    the apology and apply it per the traditional directions for such an 
    object.  In that context, I apologize for anything I have said or done
    now or in the future.  
    
    Brian

    
                          (__)
                          (oo)
                   /-------\/ 
                  / |     || \ 
                 *  ||W---|| I penultimately appologise for farting in  
                    ~~    ~~ another topic.  Something about that Schumer
    			     guy just turns my stomach, tho. 

    

    
    
    Did someone mention my size 9 work boot again????
    

    RE: .49  Leech

    / -< Latin cow appologises. >-

    Steve, your cow needs to take a p.  (And an s.)

    / -< Latin cow apologizes. >-

    Now doesn't that feel better?

    At this time I would like to apologize to Suzanne for lying to her. 
    
    I did mean to use the word suppository.

    
    I would like to apologize to McDonald's for putting the
    entire Soapbox community off their food... :-)
    
    -b

    Jack, just sit quietly while your apology melts in there, ok?

    Suppository were to switch parties...  Would that make 'em a Liberal?
    
    I apologize for that.
    

    Parliament to say something else?

    He just didn't want to Lord it over us.  :)

    
    Late at night you'll commonly see Dr.Dan peering in here.
    
    

    re: .51
    
    Suzanne, we all know that cows can't spell.  8^)

    Birdie birdie flies so well
    Dropping white wash in the well
    I'm so glad that cows can't spell

    
    <--- but, they can run pell mell

    
    	Isn't that swell.
    

    It's hard to tell.

    Think before you note rings a bell.

    The bell might best be your death knell.

    
    Well, hell.
    

    Hell-o.

who's there?

mr snarf!

    To our read onlies...I apologize for the participants here who are
    prostituting the suppository!

	Jack, are you calling those people....whores? And isn't solicitation
against Digital's policies...well...unless you're Digital?

    how do you prostitute a suppository?

I don't know.  How _do_ you prostitute a suppository? 
<getting ready to guffaw>

    why, very carefully, of course.

    
    Suppository:  A place where one "supposes".
    

    your etymology is fallacious.

    
    You'd better smile when you say that, you hysterical wench.
    

Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.

	Who's this Moses person....a ball player???

    .77  penultimately, you will pay for that.

    Hey, I thought a "suppository" was a place where they stored
    suppositions.  But I can't prove it...
    
    Chris

    
    .75

    >Suppository:  A place where one "supposes".
    
    Ahhh...so to "prostitute" a suppository is to allow it to be used
    for something other than `supposing', such as `pondering', or maybe 
    `pandering'?
    

    i can't bear pandering.

    I can just see a tired suppository after a long night of prostitution
    getting onto a bus and the bus driver saying "Suppositories to the
    rear!"

    disgraceful.

    
        I thought 'suppositories' were for the rear. It would just be
    natural to say "Suppositories to the rear."
    

    but suppose that they weren't?  wouldn't you be
    carrying a rather large assumption around with you?

    
    Everyone I know has a big "but"...
    

    
    
    I apologize for Jerry Garcia being dead...
    

    
    	Don't let it get you down, Andy ... if you hadn't given him
    	those pills, I'm sure someone else would've, eventually.
    

    I'm sorry for stumbling into this note string.

    I'm sorry you feel that way.

    
    Didja ever hear the joke about innuendo being an Italian suppository?

    Am I in trouble with Ragucci again?

    -b

I want an apology from someone!

I keep getting "I'm Sorry" by John Denver buzzing 'round my ancient brain.  
*I HATE THAT SONG!* 

Find a scapegoat!


\Chele

    
    
    I'm sorry you need a scapegoat...
    
    

    .94
    
    SUNSHINE, ON MY SHOULDERS, MAKES ME HAPPY !!!!!

Sunshine on my shoulders,
Gives me cancer.
Sunshine in my eyes
Can make me blind....

        Chele - if you'll accept an appypollyloggy over the web, I'll try
        to find you a browsing Netscapegoat...
        
        &y
        

    
    	Could be worse, Chele.
    
    	It could be "Thank God I'm a Country Boy!"
    
    	Well I got me fine life
    	I got my own fiddle
    	I got sun coming up
    	I got cakes on the griddle
    	Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle ...
    

    I thought it was:
    
    	Well I got me fine wife
    	I got me own fiddle
    	When the sun's coming up
    	I got cakes on the griddle
    	Life ain't nothing but a funny funny riddle ...
    

    
    I thought it was:
    
    Well I got me a Phi Kap
    I got a Sig Pi
    When the sun's coming up
    I got Betas and Chis
    Life ain't nothing but giving him a
    
    Oops, never mind 8^o.
    
    

    
    	Yeah, I forgot to add the 
    	
    	"or something like that" 
    
    	line at the bottom ;-)
    
    	At least Chele should have "I'm sorry" out of her head by now ...
    

    
    and I hope Chele enjoyed her mid thirties birthday as well.
    couldn't have been to bad, she's still breathing.

    
    	Oy!  Now I need to apologize for missing Chele's birthday!
    
    	Happy belated, Chele!
    
    	Karen
    

Thanks all!

Breathing?  I actually sound like I'm doing Darth Vader impressions.  I'd like 
to be able to take my lungs out and give them a good wash.

I really _need_ that scapegoat...  I've got "Calypso" on the brain now. I made 
the mistake of wondering (then remembering) the name of the beastly boat...

\C

BTW - I'm _not_ sorry it's Friday.

    
    
    Speaking of boats... Here's something to take your mind off of
    "Calypso"
    
    How about the theme from "The Love Boat"???
    
    

Hmmmm,

The SS Minnow -> Gilligans Island - The Beverly Hillbillies

oh no, my brain is over-heating, I'm getting flashes of, oh no, have mercy NOT 
DORIS DAY -aaaarrrrrgh

Once, I had had a secret love


\
  C
   h
    e
     l
      e

    I now apologize to beloved Mz. Debra for soubting her expertise on
    Natalie Wood movies!

    
    Natalie Wood movies, naah - just classics and musicals 8^).
    
    

    
    	Didn't "Miracle on 34th Street" just come out last year?
    
    	I thought Natalie died awhile ago.
    

    ^I now apologize to beloved Mz. Debra for soubting her
    
    Jack, I've never seen you soubt before.

 .110  =8-o

    
    He's young and foolish, Di.  Or else he's pulling our collective legs.
    
    

    
    >He's young and foolish, Di.  Or else he's pulling our collective legs.
    
    	Yes I am.  And yes I am.
    
    	8^)
    

    
    I hereby accept Meatypet's sincere, heartfelt apology for doubting that
    I know my classics and musicals.
    
    I watched "The Sound of Music" with three witnesses Saturday night and
    nowhere, especially not where Meaty mentioned, does Maria ever tell
    Liesl that faith is believing something when common sense tells you not
    to.
    
    I'll accept Joe's apology, too, for backing Meaty.  Go ahead, Joe 8^).
    
    

    Ah, but did you see the director's cut, or no?

    
    I may have to kill you.  Yes, I may, you troublemaker.
    
    Those lines are not in the original libretto, either.  It's from
    "Miracle on 34th Street"!

    Check the expurgated version of the libretto before you puts all your
    eggs into the 34th street basket.

    
    Have you checked the Mormon edition of the libretto?
    
    -b

    I wouldn't trust the Latter.

    
    You're going to be the late Mr. Richardson soon.
    
    

    Well, I am a bit of a night owl.

    
    And a bit of a turkey, I may say 8^).
                                        
    

    Well, I do tend to gobble things up, as it were.

    
    I knew a goblin girl...
    

    
    Not a ghost of a chance I'll get suckered into another pun string.
    
    

    I find that hard to swallow.

    
    This string might blow right past some people.
    

    
    But don't let it go to your head...
    

    Listen fella I show you a thing or two.

    
    You were always a cunning linguist.
    

        I keep hearing "String of Pearls"...
        
        &y
            
    

    
    re: .116
    
    Thanks mz_deb... All I heard Sunday was snippets and humming of all
    those songs...
    

    	re .116
    
    	I think you missed it, mz_d.  Watch it again.  Just to make sure.

    
    Sorry, Joe.  Four of us watched it intently.  I'm certainly not sitting
    through 3 hours of that again 8^).
    
    Anyway, I did that show before; I know the libretto, and that line is
    NOT in the show.
    
    {tap tap tap}
    

    
    
    > {tap tap tap}
    
    
    
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
    

    
    Usher, wake up that snoring man!
    
    

    My wife had the opportunity to meet and talk to Maria Von Trapp in
    1976.
    
    Maria Von Trapp loved the play version of The Sound of Music.  Said she
    never saw the Julie Andrews movie and never would!

    
 >   Usher, wake up that snoring man!
    
  

    Hey, I'm an usher at my church.  We just let the sleepers sleep.



 Jim  

    I apologize to Mr Proctor for misusing the word bum!

	The other day I went off the handle (I know, which time?) about the PC
not being up and running. While it was a problem, if I offended anyone in
particular about it who wasn't involved, I'm sorry.


Glen

    Figures you would put something in the suppository note.
    
    ;)

    
    	Where else do you think he'd stick it?
    

	Maybe when I see you at lunch tomorrow, Slab, I will show you the oral
method.

    
    	Ho ho!!
    
    	Let it be known that we will be in a restaurant, in a well-lighted
    	section, in full view of everyone, and I will not be sitting that
    	close to him.