Conference back40::soapbox

	...put food into your mouth with a knife.

		[sole exception: cheese]

	...shun the common cup at a Moscow soft drink machine.

	... leave Soapbox in a huff.

    ... leave the toilet seat up !

    ... squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube.
    
    ... wake me up at night.. unless for a very good reason :*)

    ... stop

... drink tomato juice spiders, especially with vegemite on icecream.


Chele

    
    
    	....come to work at 4am after leaving at 8pm the previous evening
    {yawn}...
    
    
    jim

    
    spank a monkey

say the word Religion in here

    
    ...put others down or call them names (or have hissy fits) just because 
    they don't believe things exactly the way you do...
    

    Moon a cop from a car window in heavy traffic !
    
     ( I actually saw that happen about 12 years ago ...)
    
    

     hey Raq,,,
    
       I think you're talking about 80 %  of the general population !!!
    
      kinda sad  huh ?
    
    

| <<< Note 392.11 by GAVEL::JANDROW >>>


| ...put others down or call them names (or have hissy fits) just because
| they don't believe things exactly the way you do...

	WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? I don't agree with this at ALL! I don't believe you
said that! Man that pisses me off!!!!! :-)

    Call somebody an uncircumscribed Philistine when they in fact might be
    circumscribed!

 .15  you can tell by the circles they hang out in.

uncircumscribed???

    
     I think Jack's a /nasser wannabe...
    

    
>>     I think Jack's a /nasser wannabe...

    \nasser
    

	Hey Andy, does that mean it's wrong to be that??? :-)

    who is/was this \nasser chap?
    
    ric

    re: .21 a noddlehead, er, noodlehead.

	doodlehead

    watch it yall or you'll get panned
    \hope this helps

    
    Better not miss with him.
    
    I spell checked
    \hope this helps

    
    Ate a gyro with extra souse and a large cook to go.
    Did his laundry with pin sole.
    
    I miss him 8^).

    
    
    ..........ask personal questions.

\nasser is a comedic genius.  An original.

ZZ    SALEM::MREX                                           3 lines 
ZZ    19-APR-1995 12:08
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        
        
ZZ        ..........ask personal questions.
    
    What religion are you?

    >comedic genius.
    
     An overused term if ever I heard one.

\nasser and gene also had a *hilarious* chess match in the last version of 
soapbox.... that one had me going for days  :,*)

Didn't he also have some story about cooking turkey??

    
    
    re: \nasser and cooking turkey....
    
    
    Yes, he did!  BWAHAHAHAHA :*)  Thanks for bringing
    that memory to the front of my brain!  That one was
    quite a classic!  :*)
    
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    whack someone upside the head with a 2x4

    
    this /nasser was he a ballplayer or something?

>    >comedic genius.
    
>     An overused term if ever I heard one.

Who else used this term?   And how frequently?
It's wrong to say that it's an overused term.

Have any evidence that it's overused?
Even the tiniest scintilla?

    
    Chris, Ter:  See 148.0.

    Can't say it's been overused in this particular forum, but here's
    a partial list of people that I've heard referred to as comedic
    geniuses countless times in the various media:
    
    Charlie Chaplin
    Buster Keaton
    Groucho Marx
    Curly Howard
    Milton Berle
    Sid Caesar
    Lucille Ball
    Jerry Lewis
    Ernie Kovacs
    Dick Van Dyke
    Johnny Carson
    John Belushi
    David Letterman
    
    And probably countless others that I'll think of later.  Some of them
    were/are geniuses, and others have good publicity agents.
    
    Chris

    Lucille Ball was just annoying and noisy!

	she was all red, too!

    >	she was all red, too!
    
    How do you know, you didn't give her the test, did you? :-)
    
    -b

>Lucille Ball was just annoying and noisy!

Yes, and so is/was Jerry Lewis.  I never understood
why the French adore him so.  God, he's awful.  (IMO)

    did you mean to say she's all d-e-a-d??? 
    
    :-)
    
    i know, i know...
    
    Chip

    Simple.  The French are annoying too.  
    
    I understand that in Paris they actually have contests to see who can
    be the most annoying.
    
    No actually, this was taken from a movie called Crazy People...starring
    Dudley Moore.
    
    -Jack

    Please insert smiley face on the last reply!

    
    Can't Jack, I didn't write the note.

    How you do it??

It's wrong to insert smiley faces after the fact.

    bumber!

    uhhhhh sorry. (tm)

    Thank you for your synsytyvyty (with the tm and all that!)

    It's wrong to:
    
    Ask a pregnant woman if "it was planned".
    
    Swear during a parent/teacher conference.
    
    Tell your hairdresser to "just cut it".
    
    Tell your husband you had a dream you were having a lusty love affair
    with ___________.(Insert anyone's name but your husbands)
    
    
    Gail

    IWT
    
    ask the mother of three wonderfuls daughters if she isn't going to try
    for a boy sometime soon.
    
    meg

    ... judge
    
    but it's *so* hard not to!
    
    ric

    hey i just thought ...
    
    "it's wrong to judge"  - isn't this a bit of a contradiction?
    
    ric

    .55 ,,,  oohh,, and that can get messy late at night if ya forget it's
     down !!!!
    
       We need Alpha-based toilets !!!  Person walks into the bathroom,,,
    and the toilet auto-detects your gender + offers you a magazine !!!
    
    

    What if you need a clip?

    
     go hunting for dear......in a bank lobby !
    
    

    
      .......tell your parents about your sex life over Sunday dinner.
    
    

     did someone spike my coffee ????
    

    
    
    RE: .51
    
    Tell us what you know about the last one on your list, Gail. ;')
    
    
    Mike

    How does one hunt dear?

     > How does one hunt dear?
    
      You squatt down motionless.....from 4:00am untilll.........
    
     just watchout for the bank lobby cameras....
    
    

    
       oh that's right.....typo freaks live here....
    
       "deer"
    
    

    
    I've been known to hunt dear at various Worcester area
    watering holes! :-) :-)
    
    -b

     .65,,,
    
      What pickup line do ya use ????
    
       "Hey babe, want-ta see my rifle?"
    
    :^)
    

     It's wrong too.........
    
       spend too much time in the BOX.
    
         oh well......backtowork
    

    enjoy it
    
    even if you know it is wrong to, too, two, oh heck,
    also 
    
    
    

    Snarf!

    pee into the wind...
    
    Chip

    re: .61
    
    Mike,
    
    Don't get your hopes up...it wasn't you I was dreaming about.  As a
    matter of fact, the last "affair" dream I had, I didn't even know who
    this guy was.  (Maybe it WAS you? 8*} )  I can tell you one thing 
    though...God was he HOT!
    
    
    

    -1 get a room!  :-)
    
       Chip

    
    tug on Superman's cape

    
    spit into the wind

    
    mess around with Jim

    
    RE:
    Last bunch of 10 or so...
    
    
     Are you sure they're all "It's wrong to.." ??
    
     Or just plain "stupid"...

    
    
    you forgot 
    "pull the mask off of the ol' lone ranger..."
    
    
    

    it's all relative, Andy...
    
    Chip

    .78
    
    hahahahahaha
    
    8^)
    
    better hope ::BENSON don't read dat
    
    ric

    
    
    We talkin' about relatives???
    

    
    i am NOT related...
    
    

    ::BENSON's I guess... 
    
    Chip

    
    thanks raq, I knew i was forgetting one of the lines

...tell someone how they should think and live.

    think Witches are cool!

    Count every penny when purchasing something in a shop. (I hope all
    wimmin reading this take note).
    
    To leave behind an unfinished drink. 
    

    
    > (I hope all wimmin reading this take note).
    
    

	.86  preposterous.  what's wrong with leaving behind an
	     unfinished drink?  it's the cleverest thing to do
	     with it.

...to nose mine when you're stopped at a traffic light.
(hope all myn reading this take note.)

    >to nose mine 
    
     To nose your what? Since when has nose become a verb? :-)

    He nose what he means.

    rhetorical question   n. A question to which no answer is expected.
    
    p591, AHD

    IWT: answer rhetorical questions

    
    
    <--- 
    
    
    i think i recognized all those obscenities... :> :> :>
    
    
    

A nose is a nose is a nose.
To mine is to mine is to mine.

    Whassamatta, Donnie? Did I hurt your feelings? Awww. I'm sorry.

 
 Pass up a snarf!

    
    ...start a tradition of post-snarfing.
    

    
    You Canucks always were a little slow....
    
    ;)
    

    
    The cold makes us sluggish and docile.      :^)
    

    You can pick your friends.
    
    You can pick your nose.
    
    Can you pick your friends nose?
    
    HTH
    
    Dan

    
    
    depends on how well you know your friend... :> :>
    
    

    
    
    Is that anything like sucking toes???
    

    
    
    		omigawd
    

    8^@

....sing the song Popsicle Toes?

    
    <-- YES.  YES.  It is terribly wrong to sing the song "Popsicle Toes".

	If only I could remember the words.....

	You've got the nicest North America
	This sailor ever saw;
	I'd like to feel your warm Brazil and touch your
	Panama...

Into hats, is he?

    tell someone they can't cook when they go all out to make you a big
    dinner and none of the food has any taste. You cant tell them cause
    they will never invite you to another dinner which means you dont have
    to cook ;-}

    
    er Lynne, I take it you had to eat this "food" right?? Just bring
    along some Maalox.

    bomb a Federal Building...
    

    
    	No, it's only wrong to bomb a federal building with federal
    	employees inside.
    
    	A building full of civilians is fair game.
    

    
    
    "alleged" civilians...
    

    guilty civilians are always fair game.

    To try to fool mother nature.
    	
    Put oil in your bell housing.
    
    Put sugar in one's gas tank.
    
    Chew gum loudly.
    
    Talk with your mouth full.
    
    Interrupt someone when they are talking. 
    
    Yank a tiger's tail.
    
    

    Tug on Superman's cape..
    
    Spit into the wind..
    
    Pull the mask of the Lone Ranger...
    
    Mess around with Jim.
    
    
    [strange, but these all popped into my head at the same time  8^) ]
    
    -steve

I wonder why. :-)

ME

    
    	Geez, 2 days after the 1st softball practice of the season, here
    	I am sore as anything and can hardly move ... and I haven't stop-
    	ped laughing all day!!
    
    	Now cut that out!!
    

 . . . reuse letters in an anagram more frequently than they appear in the
original word.

    
    crotch Cam Neely with a hockey stick

I think people should be more creative with anagrams, and extend the
mere jumbling up of letters by adding and removing some, for example:

Conservative MP = complete and utter tosser.

Chris.

re: .126

Tsk. Tsk. Thought I noticed an extra "f" in 393.684. Oh, well, maybe
you just borrowed it from another one where it hadn't been used . . . 

:^)

    >I dunno, must be the software
     
    That's what I figured. :)
    
    ...Tom

It's the wetware.

    
    > Mr. Topaz
    
    Anagram: Zap mort

Been there, done that...

Chris$sarky.

It's wrong to have been there and done that.

    Been there done that! :-)  And I did it first!

    >Anagram:  Lost hat on Mars
    
    I like it!
    
    ...Tom

        Mr Don Topaz
        
        Anagram: Mozart Pond
        

    Mister Andy Fraser
    
    Anagram: randy sister farmer

    
    no offense, tom, but i like mortal snot better... ;> ;> ;>
    
    

        GRichardson
        
        Anagram: Groins Chard
        

    Andy Fraser
    
    Anagram: Arse Nad Fry

    be blunt on the phone to fellow boxers ! I didn't realise at the time,
    so I guess I can get away with it :*)
    
    I called to speak to someone earlier and a boxer answered, I wasn't
    paying attention at the time and didn't realise until I was put through
    to the bloke I wanted to talk to. I wasn't in a very good mood with
    someone... errr..... (innocent smile) :*}
    
    Sorry Chele.     

*I* forgive you Martin 
- it's been interesting listening to the commentary on the 
  subject you haven't mentioned.

Chele

    Ya mean you ear-wigged the conversation ?? :*)
    
    Or has there been words said at that end of the building !! I'm
    innocent that's all I can say. It's other parts of a certain 
    revenue incremental team that have been causing problems !!!

There have been words - some of them can even be used in polite company!


Chele

    Don't beieve a word of it (unless it was nice things about me!). Only I
    know the unbiased truth.

Sure - you and the Tooth Fairy.

    Cowwect !!

| <<< Note 392.149 by GIDDAY::BURT "DPD (tm)" >>>

| Sure - you and the Tooth Fairy.

	HEY! The tooth Fairy is a good friend of mine....so I will talk to him
and get the dirt on Martin! :-)

    Hey pal, there ain't no dirt on me !! :*)

<---- I like a man who showers reguarly! :-)

    
    ...be naked.
    

    ... be bare naked.

to cry naked

    be alone and naked.

    So, I have to shower with someone?

    Absolutely. Conserve water!

    And what about sharing flushes? Or is that going too far? Not that I
    always go potty naked.

	Glenn, if you have been in an outhouse, you have shared. :-)

    A flushing outhouse?

    > And what about sharing flushes? Or is that going too far? Not that I
    > always go potty naked.
    
    Not sure where I heard this (maybe I read it in wacky news
    briefs), but somewhere there was a case of a guy who was
    arrested hiding in "the pit" of an outhouse; he liked to
    get in there and watch wimmins go to the bathroom from
    what he considered to be the ideal vantage point.
    
    -b

    
    	Eeeeeeeyyyyyuuuuuuuwwwww!!
    

    After I read stuff like that I am relieved to know that I am nearly
    sane.