Conference back40::soapbox

    I couldn't help but notice that the word "rogering" does not appear
    anywhere in the press release.
    
    Hope this helps.
    
    Glenn

    Ain't near there yet, son.  Needs to sound *something* like a news
    article or a press release.  The personal touch ("This reporter...")
    and the breathless prose won't hack it.
    
    Kit

    
    You been taking writing lessons from Terry Shannon?
    
    								-mr. bill

                                                             
    At it's heart, this is just an update of the old urban legend of the
    COBOL programmer who put fractions of a cent into his bank account.
    
    1 - Leave Intel outside.  This could be done in software, and it
    would make ugly Bill a ton more money if the scam worked on every
    286, 386, Pentium and all the clones.
    
    2 - Hold on to it until the next beta test of Quicken or after
    tax season.
    
    3 - Just like some geek professor in some hick college found the
    Pentium bug, you need some dweeb accountant who spent a month
    of his life tracking down where did that .56 cents go?  (No
    accountant will do that until *after* the 17th of April.)
    
    4 - Clean out all the crap about Justice.
    
    								-mr. bill

Keep Intel Inside.  With the Pentium boondoggle still fresh in everyone's mind,
it's great!

Change bank account in Redmond to numbered Swiss bank account traced back to
Redmond.

Keep MicroJustice.

Tie it into the OJ Trial...no, on second thought, DON'T EVEN MENTION OJ.

Bob

    It depends on how subtle you want this to be. The best of this kind
    of satire is not self-conscious, but mimics the plain style of
    reporting -- to the point where people are not sure at first whether or
    not it's a joke.  If that's what you want, you've got to use more
    "facts", tone down the language, and drop the stuff like
    "Microjustice".
    
    Here's an example of a paragraph I rewrote:
    
    Yours:
    
  >  This reporter's highly placed contacts within the banking industry
  >  first became suspicious when they noticed that typical bit-patterns of
  >  Pentium "failures" -- published and debated in great detail on the
  >  Internet -- often matched, to a full 8 bits past the decimal point, the
  >  emerging standard for the headers of Encrypted Digital MicroCash
  >  Transactions on the Internet (EDMCTI).  Not coincidentally, these
  >  financial analysts hypothesized, the popular "Quicken" electronic
  >  banking package (recently purchased from Intuit by Microsoft) is a
  >  leading designer and active proponent of EDMCTI.
    
    
    A systems analyst at Chemical Bank noticed that typcial bit-patterns of
    the reported Pentium failures often matched, to a full 8 bits past the
    decimal point, the emerging standard for the headers of Encrypted
    Digital Microcash Transaction of the Internet (EDMCTI). Suspicious, the
    analyst shared her discovery with her superiors.  
    
    Sources in the banking industry say that internal investigators are now
    shifting their attention to the popular "Quicken" electronic banking
    package, recently purchased from Intuit by Microsoft. If the Pentium
    failures are deliberate, they reason, the chips may have been
    engineered specifically to work with Microsoft financial applications.
    
    [reasoning follows, in similar fashion]
    
    Kit

    Put "rogering" in somewhere, it needs a little spice.

    Well, not to throw a wrench into this but... no one knows who the
    original source of the other Internet postings were... they came
    from an anon server. Seems like sticking your hand up waving "sue
    me!" if you continue with this. I'm all for humor and giving
    Microsoft a good go, but I'd be careful that the people I send
    up don't have $8B in the bank and enough lawyers to sink the
    QE II.
    
    -b

    "Bill Gates probably needs a warm moist rogering."
    
    Work that into it somewhere.
    
    Glenn

     Get an anonymous account on one of those porno story entry nodes (see
    alt.sex.stories or a.s.b. for an example of what I mean.) You can post
    it from there.

Make sure that "rogering" appears somewhere in the text.

    Sounds like a case of lack of sex leading to an acute case of rogering
    on the brain...

    Yabbut, Dr. Dan... You're assuming that everyone who even reads
    soapbox is a fine upstanding human being of the highest caliber...
    well, weren't you listening at the bash last week when the subject
    of "lurkers" came up?
    
    And, I also know people who have worked their way backwards from
    anon postings on Internet to real people... how do you think
    males who routinely masquerade as horny females in the alt.sex...
    newsgroups get "found out"?
    
    Please, just be careful. I think your writings are very funny and
    will be well received, but I also think you would have been better
    off to confine it to a few well-chosen and trusted friends.
    
    That's my $.02.
    
    -b
    
    P.S. I think it's cool you managed a 2**8 snarf while you were
         at it! :-)

    BAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAAaaaaaaaaaa

	There are a lot of missing notes in this topic...

	methinks I missed something good by being so far behind  :*(

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