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Conference back40::soapbox

Title:Soapbox. Just Soapbox.
Notice:No more new notes
Moderator:WAHOO::LEVESQUEONS
Created:Thu Nov 17 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:862
Total number of notes:339684

217.0. "Predictions for 95 - Verifiable or whatever" by CONSLT::MCBRIDE (aspiring peasant) Wed Dec 28 1994 12:33

    Seeing as it's almost a new year and all of the si'kicks are out
    telling the world that Elvis will return among the living driving a UFO
    (unconfirmed as of yet prediction from 94') I figured we could do as
    good a job at predicting future events for the upcoming year.  Have at
    it you prognosticators.  By the way, prediciting future events in know
    way is a satanic activity so rest assured that this is good clean
    wholesome fun the whole family can participate in.  Just don't use a
    squeegee board for <deity of your choice> sakes!
    
    Brian
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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217.1GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERyup, it's a watchamacallitWed Dec 28 1994 12:376
    
    
    More people will leave DEC voluntarily than involuntarily.
    
    
    
217.2CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanWed Dec 28 1994 12:493

 January 1 will be on a Sunday.
217.3KERNEL::MVD03::newberypWed Dec 28 1994 12:595
january 2nd will be the day after january 1st but the day before january 
3rd and windows 95 will be finally released on 30 December 1995 but wont be 
fully debugged until the 3rd quarter of 1996

			Paul
217.4swami sez:CSSREG::BROWNKB1MZ FN42Wed Dec 28 1994 13:1425
    I donned my si' kick wizard hat, and rubbed my crystal ball, and
    here's what appeared:
    
    Francisco Franco will still be dead
    
    Elvis will re-appear amongst the living, piloting a UFO, landing
    will be at the "secret" Mena Arkansas airfield.
    
    An attempt at a liberal "Rush Limbaugh" type radio talk show will
    materialize and fail due to poor ratings and low listenership.
    Likely candidates for talk show host will be Jesse Jackson and Mario
    Cuomo.
    
    More as yet undiscovered scandals will rock the white house.
    
    More quakes for the left coast
    
    Three major snowstorms for the northeast.
    
    More turmoil in the Middle East, involving Iraq and/or Iran.
    
    Military coup in North Korea
    
    Windows 95 will be re-named to Windows 96.
    
217.5It Could Happen?MASALA::MNORRISWed Dec 28 1994 13:2813
    
    	1)Royals kicked out of UK and adopted by US.
    
    	2)NATO troops will be killed by friendly fire!
    
    	3)Digital no longer has a problem with foreign accents.
    
    	4)Elvis retaken by aliens.
    
    	5)Bill Clinton kicked out of White House but has a number 1 hit
    	  with his SAX and Boys To Men.
    
    	MAT
217.7CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumWed Dec 28 1994 13:389
    The economy will get better in '95, so much so that the idiots (uhm...I
    mean voters) will re-elect Clinton.  Then the fun starts in '96.  The
    previous 2 years was only a warm up for slick.
    
    Slick will work with the Republican Congress to pass legislation, which
    will help him in his re-election bid.
    
    
    -steve
217.8......SWAM1::MEUSE_DAWed Dec 28 1994 15:085
    
    
      Aliens will invade and infiltrate the population of larger cities 
    other than California.
    
217.9DASHER::RALSTONAin't Life Fun!Wed Dec 28 1994 15:132
    A virtual unknown will be elected President of the United States in 
    November 1996.
217.10POLAR::RICHARDSONWed Dec 28 1994 15:162
    Not true. I knew him, we did a lot of drugs together when he came up
    here to dodge the draft.
217.11NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Dec 28 1994 15:554
>    A virtual unknown will be elected President of the United States in 
>    November 1996.

This is a prediction for 1995?  You must be chronologically challenged.
217.12DASHER::RALSTONAin't Life Fun!Wed Dec 28 1994 16:205
    >This is a prediction for 1995?
    
    We will know who it is in 1995.
    
    ...Tom
217.13CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanWed Dec 28 1994 16:2413

RE:            <<< Note 217.12 by DASHER::RALSTON "Ain't Life Fun!" >>>

       
   > We will know who it is in 1995.
    
    
    If the election is not until nov 1996?



  Jim
217.14DASHER::RALSTONAin't Life Fun!Wed Dec 28 1994 16:303
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, WUMP.
    					      .
    					       .
217.15CSC32::J_OPPELTPlucky kind of a kidWed Dec 28 1994 16:371
    	I will hit the lottery in 1995.
217.16per joes request... i predictHAAG::HAAGWed Dec 28 1994 17:2218
           <<< BACK40::BACK40$DKA500:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SOAPBOX.NOTE;1 >>>
                          -< Soapbox.  Just Soapbox. >-
================================================================================
Note 26.167                      WhiteWaterGate                       167 of 171
HAAG::HAAG                                           12 lines  28-DEC-1994 13:37
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note 26.161 by WAHOO::LEVESQUE 
    
    >>     re: marriage of convenience
    >>
    >> I wonder if Clinton will be the first president to be divorced after
    >>taking office (or former president.) I'd bet Shrillary would get a kick
    >>out of that kind of notoriety.
    
    i dunno doc. i'm not sure this marriage will last this presidents one
    and only term of office. if their very shaky power base begins
    crumbling the witch just may figure there is more to be gained by
    bolting. its entirely possible.
217.17looking ahead.CSSREG::BROWNKB1MZ FN42Wed Dec 28 1994 17:289
    Clinton will be getting ready for his second term, 
    
    the one he will serve in the Leavenworth Presidential Suite...
    
    Shrillary will become the world's second wealthiest bag lady, 
    
    and Chelsea will run off to Kaliphornya join a cult.
    
       
217.18MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesWed Dec 28 1994 18:0049
    > I will hit the lottery in 1995.
    
    In 1991 and 1992, I collected every winning number of the Mass
    Megabucks game, and entered it into a database. I wrote software
    which analyzed trends in the numbers. My theory was that these
    trends resulted from the fact that ping-pong balls have
    miniscule differences in weight and thus would occur more in
    winning sequences. And I was right... I counted each time
    a ball won... sometimes it would win only 4 o 5 times over
    the two years (with two drawings a week), in other cases,
    numbers hit 30 or more times. Of course, they rotate the
    balls... I have identified at least 5 discrete ball "sets"
    in my analysis.
    
    At first, I used purely the occurrence data (top six numbers).
    This is how most lottery software works. Then, I started
    generating thousands of random numbers which were stored
    in a seperate database. The software would then scan the
    random number database picking numbers that matched the
    most digits between the highest occurrences and the random
    sequences. Then I added up the occurrences for each of the
    digits in a sequence of winning numbers, determined a
    standard deviation, and used this deviation as a filter for
    selected numbers from the random number database (which
    was regenerated periodically).
    
    My goal at first, was to win the lottery. Then I realized
    I could make a decent profit by simply consistently hitting
    4 or 5 digits (which, although it doesn't pay the jackpot,
    does pay $40 or $400).
    
    Of course, I never actually purchased lottery tickets. I
    would just generate numbers and compare them against the
    actual winning numbers. I spent two years tweeking the
    software, and barely got it to consistently match 4 numbers.
    
    Determined to make money one way or another, I've decided
    to sell my software to _other_ idjits. Seriously. This
    is the most mathematically complete model of lotteries
    _ever_ produced. And I will continue to tweek it until
    it gets very good. I've talked to a software publisher,
    and I'm in the process of putting a "user interface"
    onto the thing for Windows and Macintosh systems.
    
    I figure I'm about to hit the lottery too, and I won't
    have to rely on my otherwise bad luck to make it happen.
    I still don't buy lottery tickets.
    
    -b 
217.19POLAR::RICHARDSONWed Dec 28 1994 18:073
    <---- Please send me 5 sets of 6 numbers between 1 and 49.

    Glenn
217.20:-)NEMAIL::BULLOCKWed Dec 28 1994 18:1411
     
    
    
          1995 preciction:
    
          The New England Patriots will be in The Super Bowl!
    
    
    
          Ed
    
217.21MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesWed Dec 28 1994 18:2017
    >> Please send me 5 sets of 6 numbers between 1 and 49.
    
    I'd be glad to. Only problem is, I have no history data for
    your lottery, so all I could produce is purely random
    numbers.
    
    BTW - the software publisher I'm talking to is thinking
          about setting up a bulletin board so that users
          of the software can download winning number databases
          for many 5 or 6 ball lotteries held in the US...
          Canadian lotteries will probably follow...
    
    The software is likely to be fairly cheap, but the subscription
    to the database service might not be... maintaining such a
    database is where all the costs are.
    
    -b
217.22CSC32::J_OPPELTPlucky kind of a kidWed Dec 28 1994 18:229
    	Re .18
    
    	Maybe (maybe) it's valid for Mass lottery balls, but they use
    	a different set of balls in different states, as well as different
    	balls selection mechanisms in different states (some states'
    	mechanisms would favor lighter balls, and other heavier balls.)
    
    	Still, if you cam market the software, I agree that you'll be
    	hitting the lottery.  Good luck!
217.23NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Dec 28 1994 18:233
Assuming your system's performance is statistically significant, its success
is predicated on the repeated use of ping-pong balls.  If lotteries change
over to some more random method, your system becomes worthless.
217.24MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesWed Dec 28 1994 18:263
    True. I'll marvel at its imperfections all the way to the bank.
    
    -b
217.25MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesWed Dec 28 1994 19:0829
    Oh yes, predictions...
    
    Not pleasant predictions, but here goes:
    
    There will be at least one major terrorist attack on US soil or
    against US interests in 1995, as part of another resurgence of
    Islamic fundamentalism, exacerbated by the Palestinian/Israeli
    Peace process and the perceived weakening of the US as a world
    power under BC.
    
    Tensions in various break-away Republics will continue to bring
    the former USSR close to (if not into) civil war.
    
    The UN will give up in the Bosnian/Serbian conflict and full
    scale slaughter will result (worse than what is happening
    now)
    
    Korea will achieve its goal of a nuclear bomb, despite agreements.
    
    Severe economic crisis in most of South America, not just
    Mexico. Look for trouble in Brazil.
    
    WhiteWater will boil over. Expect more indictments, that will
    include The Witch.
    
    Major League Baseball will resume after several players "cross
    the picket line". Boston will suck, regardless.
    
    -b
217.26HAAG::HAAGWed Dec 28 1994 19:281
    <---- wot a bright and rosie set of predictions.
217.27MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesWed Dec 28 1994 19:351
    Yes, well. I always look on the bright side of life... :-)
217.28ROWLET::AINSLEYLess than 150 kts. is TOO slow!Wed Dec 28 1994 20:1710
re: .18

In a story on the Texas lottery, it was mentioned that the amount of paint
on each ping pong ball was the same.  The amount used to make each digit was
varied to make the ball numbered '1' have the same amount of paint on it as
the ball numbered '49'.  They also use different sets as you surmised.  I've
forgotten how the set to be used is selected, but it is done upon entry into
the storage vault before the drawing.

Bob
217.29more perposterous predictionsCSSREG::BROWNKB1MZ FN42Thu Dec 29 1994 10:159
    Castro will be "retired" in  '95
    
    "Dear Leader II" of NK will also "go into retirement".
    
    AlGore will still have the IQ of a cocker spaniel.
    
    O.J. Will be let off on a technicality.
    
    
217.30crazier predictionsPOBOX::BATTISWhen in doubt, foul a freshmanThu Dec 29 1994 18:1222
    
    1.Bears will win their division in 1995. 2. Detroit 3. Minnesota
    4. Green Bay 5. Tampa Bay 
    
    2. Cubs will finish in 4th place if baseball resumes in 1995
    
    3. White Sox will finish 2nd if baseball resumes
    
    4. Patriots will make playoffs, POSSIBLY win division in 1995.
    
    5. Digital stock will rise above $55.00 a share by September possibly
    sooner.
    
    6. Gene Haag will return to Dec to haunt those of us in Soapbox. Not
    to mention bag at least 2 suburbans this hunting season.
    
    7. Digital will be top corporate turnaround story on WS, and stock
    will take off like you haven't seen in 6 years or so.
    
    8. O.J. will be convicted and almost broke after paying legal fees.
    
    9. Madonna will bet married this year.
217.31POLAR::RICHARDSONThu Dec 29 1994 18:324
    I've heard about the air in Chicago, but I didn't know it could be that
    damaging.

    Glenn
217.32POBOX::BATTISWhen in doubt, foul a freshmanThu Dec 29 1994 18:355
    
    Well Glenn, when they all come true, you will have to do whirly
    twirlies in my honor. Ok, the Madonna one was stretching it a bit. :-)
    
    Mark
217.33HAAG::HAAGThu Dec 29 1994 21:043
    gene haag will not likely return to dec anytime soon. more likely
    never. if i evr leave colorado alive i'm heading nowhere but montana.
    even if i have to get a job pitching %#$# out of barn to live there.
217.34fickle manSX4GTO::OLSONDoug Olson, SDSC West, Palo AltoThu Dec 29 1994 21:153
    he used to say that about south dakota, too.
    
    DougO
217.35HAAG::HAAGThu Dec 29 1994 21:311
    don't forget your heritage dougo. your bordering on blasphemy.
217.36HBFDT2::SCHARNBERGSenior KodierwurstFri Dec 30 1994 06:3410
    
    FC St.Pauli will return to top league soccer.
    
    Berti Vogts will quit.
    
    3 shops will go bankrupt in my homevillage Trittau.
    
    I will step back from being captain of GHG Hahnheide 2.
    
    
217.37AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Dec 30 1994 12:1014
    They will find that Elvis is Billy in descise.. or the other way
    around.
    
    Streight shooter Hinkley will excape, get a gun, and take up target
    practice at the Whitehouse. Learn to fly small piper cub planes, make
    good boom-booms for his subcompact car.:)
    
    John Lennon will apear as an alien, dressed like Elvis.... Elvis will
    apear dressed like Billy Bob Clinton..... Clinton will look like JFK...
    (confusing!!)
    
    A final attempt to fix the brain damaged Ted Kennedy will fail.....
    
    Ted will make his apearence looking like John Lennon....
217.38SHRMSG::LNDRFR::ADOERFERHi-yo Server, away!Fri Dec 30 1994 12:312
    
    Time will name the internet Man/Highway/Network of the Year
217.39:-)DECLNE::REESEToreDown,I'mAlmostLevelW/theGroundFri Dec 30 1994 12:523
    Oh, that means we'll see Dr Dan on the cover of Time; surfing on the
    WWW wearing a smile and his beanie?
    
217.40POLAR::RICHARDSONFri Dec 30 1994 13:242
    Jimmy Hoffa will be found walking aimlessly in the Mojave Desert
    mumbling something about Charles Taylor.
217.41AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Dec 30 1994 13:403
    Gee. I thought Jimmy Hoffa was found after the or-top-sey(sp) of
    Jeffery Dhamer??
    
217.42POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of EcstacyFri Dec 30 1994 13:437
    
    George - AUTOPSY!
                    
    
    *I* thought Jimmy Hoffa was found under Tammy Faye's makeup?
    
    And who in the world is Charles Taylor?
217.43NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Fri Dec 30 1994 13:431
Charles Taylor is a Liberian warlord.
217.44POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of EcstacyFri Dec 30 1994 14:022
    
    I wish I understood this.
217.45POLAR::RICHARDSONFri Dec 30 1994 14:141
    Gerald is incorrect.
217.46NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Fri Dec 30 1994 14:191
So what's the name of the guy who started the Liberian civil war?
217.47HAAG::HAAGSun Jan 01 1995 20:453
    re: jimmy hoffa
    
    i absolutely refuse to eat hot dogs until his body is found.
217.48CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanSun Jan 01 1995 21:534


 Gulp....I just had one :-O
217.49POLAR::RICHARDSONMon Jan 02 1995 17:172
    well, I'm sure if Hoffa had a choice, he'd want to be an Oscar Mayer
    wiener.
217.50MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesMon Jan 02 1995 17:2411
    Speaking of Jimmy Hoffa
    
    I recently attended a wedding in New Jersey and got to thinking
    about how I had never been in a room before with so many people
    who knew where Jimmy Hoffa was buried...  :-)
    
    There were a _lot_ of suspicous looking lumps under jackets in
    that place... on both sides of the family. I wasn't packing,
    and generally stayed as close as I could to an exit...
    
    -b
217.51MPGS::MARKEYAIBOHPHOBIA: Fear of PalindromesMon Jan 02 1995 17:327
    P.S. I wasn't related to any of them... I was the token "Irishman
         who isn't a Democrat politician on the take..."
    
    For some reason, 90% of the people seemed to be in the "refuse
    business". I guess that's as in "an offer you can't refuse..." :-)
    
    -b
217.52POLAR::RICHARDSONMon Jan 02 1995 18:321
    What a waste.
217.53SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowMon Jan 02 1995 19:004
	What, no $25,000/year plumbing supply salesmen
	in clothes from Bijan?

	Was this a Gotti wedding?
217.54Speaking of the waste biznizz...LJSRV2::KALIKOWNotes, NEWS: old; GroupWeb: NEW!Mon Jan 02 1995 21:036
    Friend of my wife's used to be a marketeer for a PortaPotty company
    that claimed to be a market leader.  She said that he said they were
    "#1 in the #1 and #2 business."  I said that iit would work also if
    they were just behnd first place, but then their slogan woud haveta be
              "#2 in the #1 and #2 business -- We Strain Harder"
    
217.55AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaWed Jan 04 1995 17:232
    Hoffa is alive and well. He flys the friendly skys with Elvis in a
    space ship.:) 
217.56SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIZebras should be seen and not herdWed Jan 04 1995 17:296
    
    
    mz_deb!!!!!!!!!!!!! mz_deb!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    :)
    
217.57POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of EcstacyWed Jan 04 1995 17:499
    
    Oops, sorry.
    
    flies.
    skies.
    
    
    I thought perhaps you were reading my mind and knew the little song I
    was singing after someone mentioned hot dogs 8^).
217.58CSC32::J_OPPELTWhatever happened to ADDATA?Wed Jan 04 1995 20:012
    	Connie Chung will get demoted to some beat reporter role, if
    	not fired outright.
217.59CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanThu Jan 05 1995 01:159


  She will be doing the weekend weather report in Sioux City, Iowa..




 Jim
217.60POLAR::RICHARDSONThu Jan 05 1995 01:171
    And the top 10 lists perhaps?
217.61MPGS::MARKEYI most definitely think I mightThu Jan 05 1995 01:2512
    >Connie Chung will get demoted to some beat reporter role, if
    >not fired outright.
    
    Won't happen. Most likely this will get her points with the
    boss. "Hard edged reporting" dontcha know? How much did
    Dan Rather's interview with George Bush end up hurting
    Dan Rather? Now, if she had offended Hillary Clinton that
    would be different. Then she would be hurting for sure.
    But Newt? Nah. Her bosses were probably pissing themselves
    with joy!!! Such is the animal we're dealing with here.
    
    -b
217.62TINCUP::AGUEDTN-592-4939, 719-598-3498(SSL)Thu Jan 05 1995 01:3920
    Re: Connie Chung getting run out of town
    
    Pretty simplistic thinking, or maybe it's your hate-glazed-over eyes, to
    think that Connie Chung is ultimately responsible for what CBS News
    department is broadcasting.  She may be the talking head in the
    interview, but a producer or two had to determine whether or not to "go
    to press" with the 10 second clip of "whisper it to me".  Remember as
    much as eight hours were taped, the editors condensed it down to what
    they thought was marketable, and the producers determined what they
    thought was good product.
    
    The only part Connie had was the style in which she extracted the quote
    and a foregone knowledge that Newt probably didn't like the First Lady,
    doesn't have much of a descriptive vocabulary (you have read the
    excerpt from his soon to be finished book haven't you? it gives pulp
    fiction a bad name), doesn't like aggressive women, and probably talks
    to his mom.  I wonder what he said to her about Dole (Darth?) or
    Limbaugh (Gasbag?) or Quayle (Potatoehead?) or Bush (you name it)?
    
    -- Jim                                                  
217.63WMOIS::GIROUARD_CThu Jan 05 1995 09:417
    oh ya, and the rubber hose that Connie used to extract that statement
    from mummy Newt was really a bit much, doncha think?
    
    This one is killin' me. Anybody know about any issues out there?
    
    Chip
    
217.64Damage ControlVMSNET::M_MACIOLEKFour54 Camaro/Only way to flyThu Jan 05 1995 14:076
    On January 8, a "highly critical" story about BC will be run in a 
    major publication.  It will pertain to Whitewater and the dumping of the 
    CIA director.  He didn't step down on his own.
    
    Maybe this is why some propaganda outlets have started spinning the
    story.  They know somethings coming.
217.65:-)/2CONSLT::MCBRIDEaspiring peasantThu Jan 05 1995 14:164
    Would that major publication be Guns n' KablAmmo or Commando of MisFortune 
    or Conspiracy Week?  Just curious.....
    
    Brian
217.66WMOIS::GIROUARD_CThu Jan 05 1995 14:484
    newty's name will be mentioned in the 'box more than any other animal,
    vegetable or mineral...
    
    Chip
217.67NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Jan 05 1995 14:514
>    newty's name will be mentioned in the 'box more than any other animal,
>    vegetable or mineral...

In which category do you put crap?
217.68POLAR::RICHARDSONThu Jan 05 1995 15:091
    I predict that the next reply will be a SNARF. ------->
217.69LUDWIG::JORDANThere's no easy way to be freeThu Jan 05 1995 15:143
    WRONG.
    
       DJ
217.70POLAR::RICHARDSONThu Jan 05 1995 15:171
    Nope it was a snarf and you missed it.
217.71LUDWIG::JORDANThere's no easy way to be freeThu Jan 05 1995 15:253
    No.... It could have been a snarf and I chose not to make it so.
    
                  DJ
217.72POLAR::RICHARDSONThu Jan 05 1995 15:261
    No, it was there, and you wasted it.
217.73WMOIS::GIROUARD_CThu Jan 05 1995 15:311
    crap... hmmmmm, what is the meaning of life anyway?
217.74GMT1::TEEKEMATip toeing through the Tulips......Thu Jan 05 1995 15:332
	D E A T H.................hmm ha ha ha ha (Sinister voice).
217.75LUDWIG::JORDANThere's no easy way to be freeThu Jan 05 1995 15:331
    Naw... I just took the opportunity to ruin a prediction. ;^)
217.76AKOCOA::DOUGANThu Jan 05 1995 16:008
    Bill will get impeached for running a white slavery ring in conjunction
    with Jesse.  Al gets shot by a guy wearing an NRA cap and a tee-shirt
    reading "I eat spotted owls for breakfast".  Newt becomes president. 
    He proclaims himself as the Messiah come for the second time.  All
    Americans are are summoned home, all aliens are sent out.  A large wall
    is built along the borders to Mexico and Canada.  A golden millenium
    follows.
    
217.77CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanThu Jan 05 1995 16:035


 Well, lets hope Newt hangs in there..the next guy in line is the 
 185 year old Strom Thurmond
217.79NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Thu Jan 05 1995 16:063
re .78:

What were the other three?
217.81MPGS::MARKEYI most definitely think I mightThu Jan 05 1995 16:174
    But Bill Clinton's popularity _will_ hit an all time high. Zero. He
    should make Zero his lucky number.
    
    -b
217.82Relations between branches "chung"ed ?GAAS::BRAUCHERThu Jan 05 1995 16:3112
    
    After their election yesterday, this AM Clinton receives Dole/Gingrich
    in the customary meeting between the branches at the White House (the
    Prez never goes to their place, I'm not sure why).  Of course, it's a
    ceremony, but substance may come up.  I wonder what they say to each
    other in private ?  Clinton will, of course, show up the end of the
    month over at Newt's place to tell em what great shape the country's
    in.  This will be a VERY important speech for Clinton.  Since he says
    he's going to run for re-election, he must do well.  He's a good
    speaker.  I'll listen.
    
      bb
217.83NCMAIL::GEIBELLlost in PennsylvaniaThu Jan 05 1995 16:367
    I think #3 was,  
     OJ Simpson aquited
    
    
                                             Lee
    I just caught the list while chanel surfing
    
217.84WMOIS::GIROUARD_CThu Jan 05 1995 16:376
    sheesh, i hope bc doesn't call newt's mum a bitch... and if he
    does, i certainly hope no one leaks it. 
    
    then again, newt may have meant the remark in an endearing way...
    
    :-)
217.85PENUTS::DDESMAISONStoo few argsThu Jan 05 1995 16:386
>>    I just caught the list while chanel surfing
    

	in the eau de toilette, one assumes.

217.86CSLALL::HENDERSONLearning to leanThu Jan 05 1995 16:4313

>    ceremony, but substance may come up.  I wonder what they say to each
>    other in private ?  Clinton will, of course, show up the end of the
 

    Bill prolly said "and oh, btw Newt, between you and me, your Mum's
    right"..



   
 Jim
217.87DTRACY::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Wed Jan 11 1995 18:58169
                  The National Enquirer's Predictions for 1995
                         [reprinted without permission]


     Seer Clarissa Bernhardt, who uncannily forecast that Florida would be 
devastated by its worst hurricane ever in 1992, forecasts:

o  "NYPD Blue" star Dennis Franz will become a real-life crime-buster when he 
enters a bank during a robbery, tackles and disarms the gunman and holds him 
for police.

o  A fierce dust storm in Arizona will cut off several small communities.  When 
rescuers use alternate routes to get through to the town, they'll stumble 
across a long-lost hoard of gold -- a government shipment that had been missing 
for 100 years.

o  Former President Ronald Reagan will spend several months in China undergoing 
a secret herbal treatment for Alzheimer's disease.  When he responds with a 
marked improvement in memory, American doctors will begin studying the Chinese 
treatment -- and their work will lead to a cure for the disease.


     Judy Hevenly, who has appeared on "Entertainment Tonight" and is one of 
the two psychics who energizes The ENQUIRER'S Blue Dot, predicts:

o  Tom Cruise will put his acting career on hold to being serious training as 
an auto racer.  And he'll go on to compete at the 1996 Indianapolis 500.

o  A record cold snap will grip the Pacific Coast, bringing snow as far south 
as Los Angeles.  Celebrities will be seen skiing in the Hollywood hills.

o  Newly elected congressman Sonny Bono will announce his candidacy for 
president and begin campaigning for the 1996 election.  But he'll soon withdraw 
and throw his support to Sen. Bob Dole after Dole promises him the post of vice 
president.


     Florida seer Leah Lusher, two-time winner of The ENQUIRER'S psychic 
predictions contest, forecasts:

o  New  Yorkers will see the ghost of Jackie Onassis in Central Park, where she 
often liked to stroll.  But the sightings will end abruptly when thousands of 
people throng to the park for a glimpse of the former First Lady.

o  A previously unknown tribe of Native Americans will be discovered in the 
remote mountains of British Columbia, Canada.  Scientists will discover the 
tribe makes an amazing elixir from tree bark that allows them to live for up 
to 150 years -- but tribal elders will refuse to disclose its contents.

o  A homeless drifter will kidnap First Cat Socks after the feline escapes the 
White House grounds.  Socks will be returned unharmed when President Clinton 
pays a $1,000 ransom -- and the FBI will nab the catnapper when he tries to 
snatch Vice President Gore's poodle.


     New York psychic John Monti, who predicted the shooting of President 
Reagan, foretells:

o  Regis Philbin will save the day when a woman in the "Regis & Kathie Lee" 
audience begin choking on a piece of food -- and he races to her side to 
dislodge the object with the Heimlich maneuver.

o  Panic will grip the glove after scientists announce they've discovered a 
200-mile-wide asteroid on a collision course with Earth.  But the whole world 
will rejoice the very next day when the experts admit their calculations were 
incorrect -- and say the asteroid will miss Earth by a million miles.

o  Julia Roberts and her hubby Lyle Lovett will record an album of country 
duets that rockets to the top of the charts.  Then Julia will announce she's 
launching a SOLO singing career -- and jealous Lyle will file for divorce.


     New York psychic Shawn Robbins, who foretold the assassination attempt on 
the Pope, predicts:

o  "Home Improvement" star Tim Allen will find himself in a not-so-funny 
situation when the pilot of his private plane collapses in midair -- and Allen 
has to take over the controls.  But thanks to the help of an air-traffic 
controller, he'll manage to land the plane at a remote desert airport -- then 
vow he'll never fly again.

o  CNN mogul Ted Turner and his wife Jane Fonda will spearhead a drive for a 
combined government-industry attempt to colonize the moon by the year 2000.

o  Michael Jackson will drop plans to divorce Lisa Marie Presley and the pair 
will escape the public eye by moving to an uninhabited Mediterranean island 
purchased by Michael.

o  A careless smoker will start a nighttime fire at one of China's largest 
fireworks factories.  The plant will explode in a dazzling display visible even 
to U.S. space shuttle astronauts orbiting the Earth!


     Laura Steele, who has a New York cable TV talk show and is one of the two 
psychics who charges The ENQUIRER's Blue Dot, forecasts:

o  Disgraced evangelist Jim Bakker will return to TV with a nonreligious talk 
show that features his ex-wife Tammy Faye as his singing cohost.

o  A giant earthquake will rock China and destroy a 10-mile section of the 
Great Wall.  But few lives will be lost because the area affected is isolated.

o  A battle of titans will erupt at a posh tennis club when Steven Seagal and 
Jean-Claude Van Damme argue over a call during a game -- and end up in a 
vicious karate fight.  Both will be banned from the club for life.


     Barbara Donchess of Massachusetts, who predicted Mount St. Helen's 
eruption, told The ENQUIRER:

o  Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson will bury the hatchet to cohost the 
Thanksgiving Day parade in New York.  They'll end up falling back in love -- 
and will remarry before the end of the year.

o  The hottest new show on TV will star an Iowa teacher who helps celebrity 
guests solve unusual math problems.  The show will spark new interest in the 
subject -- and American students' math scores will soar.

o  Oprah Winfrey will turn her Indiana farm into a camp for abused children and 
garner so much good publicity that Roseanne will do the same for her Iowa 
spread.


     Micki Dahne, a Miami psychic who predicted the Canary Islands jet 
collision that killed more than 500, predicts:

o  Princess Di will get financial backing from Donald Trump and market a new 
line of women's fashions,  called "Di's Buys."  The clothing line will be a 
smash hit all over the world.

o  A man who proves he's Elvis' illegitimate son -- and calls himself simply 
"Son of Elvis" -- will top the music charts with a new rendition of "Are You 
Lonesome Tonight?"

o  Hillary Clinton will be so smitten with a soy-burger made by the White House 
kitchen staff that she and Bill Clinton will begin marketing the "Hilly-Billy 
Burgers" to the public -- and donate all proceeds to charity.


     Psychic Lou Wright, who predicted the big 1989 San Francisco earthquake, 
forecasts:

o  Actress Sharon Stone will win a celebrity tournament on "Jeopardy!"  
Impressed by her intelligence, Fox network executives will hire the brainy 
blonde to host a late-night talk show.

o  Supermodel Claudia Schiffer will disappear while skiing in a remote area of 
Colorado when she strays from a trail and gets lost.  She'll be missing for 
five days before she's found holed up in a cave by a group of hiking Boy 
Scouts.

o  Heather Locklear will quit "Melrose Place" and go on tour as a tambourine 
player with hubby Richie Sambora's band Bon Jovi -- to make sure Richie doesn't 
cheat with groupies.


     Los Angeles seer Maria Graciette, who predicted the Manson murders, 
foretells:

o  "Grace Under Fire" star Brett Butler will get into a fight with former Vice 
President Dan Quayle at a cocktail party when he lays into her for promoting 
single parenthood on her show.  The tussle will end when Grace gets Quayle in a 
headlock and punches him in the eye -- leaving him with an embarrassing shiner.

o  Liz Taylor will be miraculously cured of her hip and back ailments after a 
chance meeting with Mother Teresa at a Rome airport.

o  Jay Leno's ratings will plunge and he'll announce he's leaving "The Tonight 
Show" -- to become David Letterman's sidekick on his "Late Show."
217.88NOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Wed Jan 11 1995 19:076
>o  Supermodel Claudia Schiffer will disappear while skiing in a remote area of 
>Colorado when she strays from a trail and gets lost.  She'll be missing for 
>five days before she's found holed up in a cave by a group of hiking Boy 
>Scouts.

Holed up in a cave by a group of hiking Boy Scouts?
217.89MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Wed Jan 11 1995 19:112
Be Prepared!

217.90WECARE::GRIFFINJohn Griffin ZKO1-3/B31 381-1159Wed Jan 11 1995 21:593
    I've never before heard the expression "panic will grip the glove."
    
    
217.91DTRACY::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Thu Jan 12 1995 14:301
    Spellchecking is of limited value.
217.92POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of WarmMoistRogeringThu Jan 12 1995 14:392
    
    I don't think even contextcheck would have worked on that one.
217.93SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowThu Jan 12 1995 14:521
"Unusual math problems?"
217.94RUSURE::EDPAlways mount a scratch monkey.Thu Jan 12 1995 15:5510
    Re .91:
    
    If you know of anything not of limited value, send me half of it.
    
    
    				-- edp
    
    
Public key fingerprint:  8e ad 63 61 ba 0c 26 86  32 0a 7d 28 db e7 6f 75
To find PGP, read note 2688.4 in Humane::IBMPC_Shareware.
217.95POBOX::BATTISWhen in doubt, foul a freshmanMon Jan 16 1995 19:394
    
    Sanfransisco 49'ers will win the Super Bowl by 17 or more points.
    
    Mark
217.96CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 11:541
    There will be a big earthquake somewhere...
217.978^)POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of Oral ExploitsTue Jan 17 1995 12:432
    
    <-- cheat!
217.98WMOIS::GIROUARD_CTue Jan 17 1995 14:403
    Re; SD vs SF line was 19 (SF favored) yesterday.
    
    Chip 
217.99CSC32::J_OPPELTWhatever happened to ADDATA?Tue Jan 17 1995 14:582
    	Today it's up to 20.  Bookies say that people STILL aren't taking
    	San Diego!
217.100verified, tooCSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 15:381
    I predict a SNARF!
217.101CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 15:401
    I'd take SD and 22 points...
217.102OOTOOL::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Tue Jan 17 1995 16:543
    I think the next 12-step group to emerge will be for people addicted to
    computer games.  I foolishly bought Eric's Ultimate Solitaire for my
    Mac, and now huge chunks of time are vanishing from my consciousness.
217.103CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 17:065
    re: .102
    
    I've just got one word to add to that...
    
    DOOM2
217.104POWDML::LAUERLittle Chamber of Oral ExploitsTue Jan 17 1995 17:104
    
    I'm hopeless hooked on Tetris, Solitaire, and Leisure Suit Larry 8^).
    
    Yes, I need to get some new games.
217.105CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 17:112
    What about mine-sweep...my record (for the small game) is 9 seconds.
    
217.106DOOM!VORTEX::CALIPH::kerryKerry SandersonTue Jan 17 1995 17:1911
RE: 217.103

DOOM2 is great! I found another good game this weekend. It's called
DESCENT. It doesn't have blood and guts like DOOM, it's like really
flying a speeder in a 3-dimensional maze of underground passages where
you fight bad-guy speeders. You have to find a nuclear reactor and blow
it up and then get out of the place before the explosion gets you. I
played it with a good joystick on a machine with a 17-inch monitor and
it had me ducking to get out of the way of things.

					-K-
217.107SOLVIT::KRAWIECKIZebras should be seen and not herdTue Jan 17 1995 17:228
    
    Just an aside...
    
     Read in the Boston Glob last week that one large city (can't remember
    which one) is making all their employees who work on PC's delete all
    games as they found too much time was being spent playing and not
    working...
    
217.108SUBPAC::JJENSENJojo the Fishing WidowTue Jan 17 1995 17:297
Mindsweeper....             AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa
							a
							   a
							      a
								 a

joanne (Best time at expert level, 250 seconds)
217.109CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumTue Jan 17 1995 19:299
    re: .106
    
    >DESCENT
    
    Yup, I've played that one, too.  It is a tough one to get used to, but
    I imagine a good joystick helps control the crazy thing v. a dozen
    buttons.  8^)
    
    -steve
217.110MPGS::MARKEYHoist the Jolly Roger!Wed Jan 18 1995 13:557
    Addiction: "Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time" CD-ROM. Includes a
    game, which I've only played a little of so far... the part based
    on the "Spot the Loony" sketch.
    
    And, to a lesser extent, Myst, which I got for Christmas...
    
    -b
217.111my recordWFOV12::STONE_AThe fat lady's clearing her throat.Wed Jan 18 1995 14:102
    
    Minesweep. 1 second!!!
217.112CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumWed Jan 18 1995 14:111
    No way! 
217.113WFOV12::STONE_AThe fat lady's clearing her throat.Wed Jan 18 1995 14:131
    way!
217.114CSOA1::LEECHannuit coeptis novus ordo seclorumWed Jan 18 1995 14:141
    Impossible.
217.115GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERSpace for rentWed Jan 18 1995 14:197
    
    
    Obviously the person set the mine # to 1.  This would allow for 1
    second.
    
    
    Mike
217.116WFOV12::STONE_AThe fat lady's clearing her throat.Wed Jan 18 1995 14:245
    
    It was set to ten!
    
    
    I predict the notes-vampire will answer his phone message!!!
217.117Or the "whack_a_mole" type? SPEZKO::FRASERMobius Loop; see other sideWed Jan 18 1995 14:347
>          <<< Note 217.110 by MPGS::MARKEY "Hoist the Jolly Roger!" >>>

>    Addiction: "Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time" CD-ROM. Includes a
 
        Tried the pinball game yet? :*)
        
        
217.118MPGS::MARKEYHoist the Jolly Roger!Wed Jan 18 1995 14:389
    >Tried the pinball game yet? :*)
    
    Not yet. I'll have you know though that based on your Sterling
    recommendation &y, that I went out and purchased said CD-ROM
    toute suite. Unfortunatley, DEC hasn't let me go home long
    enough to play with it for more than hour yet... (the CD-ROM
    I meant! The CD-ROM for gawd's sake!!!)
    
    -b
217.119WFOV12::STONE_AThe fat lady is singing!Wed Jan 25 1995 15:514
    
    I predict steve leech will tie the one second record for minesweep.
    
    If he does, I won't know  'cause i'll be gone by then!!
217.120CALAIS::BRAGG_GARYWed Jan 25 1995 22:511
    Mike Jackson will divorce Lisa marie Preseley..
217.121NETCAD::WOODFORDDoin' The Thorazine Shuffle.Wed Jan 25 1995 23:0211
    
    PFTF: I *will* survive my 30th birthday.  :*)
    
    
    PFTF: Friday night's party at Jake Ivory's will be an awesome bash!!!!
    If anyone else wants to go, let me know right away. (W.Bridgewater, MA)
    
    
    
    Terrie
    
217.122DTRACY::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Thu Jan 26 1995 14:005
    Re: .120
    
    >Mike Jackson will divorce Lisa marie Preseley..
    
    You won't get credit for the score if she divorces him.
217.123REFINE::KOMARMy congressman is a crookThu Jan 26 1995 20:085
Super Bowl pick:

SF 38, SD 28

ME
217.124kihjhbKIRKTN::MFAIRGRIEVESun Jun 18 1995 04:275
    
    	I heard a prediction that DIGITAL is about to sell
    	SQF to MOTOROLA, surely this is the most way out
    	prediction yet.
    
217.125BIGQ::SILVADiabloMon Jun 19 1995 01:164


	Wasn't that ALREADY done?
217.126CSOA1::LEECHMon Jun 19 1995 18:308
    Calif will be shook by a 6.0 or better within before this time next
    year.
    
    NY will be shaken by a 5.0 within 3 years.
    
    Hope I'm wrong.
    
    -steve (certainly not a prophet 8^) )
217.127TROOA::COLLINSCyberian PuppyTue Oct 17 1995 17:4910
    
================================================================================
Note 15.3245                      1-800-SOAPBOX                     3245 of 3245
ACISS1::BATTIS "Life is not a dress rehearsal"        8 lines  17-OCT-1995 14:46
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    
    I predict a profit of 65-75
    million, which comes out to about .45-46 cents a share. I was dead on
    for Q4 numbers, so I'm hoping i get lucky for Q1 as well.
    
217.128ACISS1::BATTISLife is not a dress rehearsalMon Nov 13 1995 17:112
    
    well !joan I was way off on that one. I'll do better in Q2.
217.129TROOA::COLLINSGood idea Oh Lord!Mon Nov 13 1995 17:293
    
    You'd better...you'd better...
    
217.130POWDML::HANGGELILittle Chamber of Wet RaspberriesMon Nov 13 1995 17:344
    
    Better get a bucket!
    
    
217.131MPGS::MARKEYFluffy nutterMon Nov 13 1995 17:394
    
    Oh sing the song, PLEASE! :-)
    
    -b
217.132no brainer reallyTROOA::BUTKOVICHit's tummy time!Thu Dec 14 1995 19:471
    It's going to be a white Christmas this year
217.133ROWLET::AINSLEYLess than 150 kts. is TOO slow!Fri Dec 15 1995 11:417
    re: .132
    
    It had better NOT be...
    
    At least not here in Dallas:-)
    
    Bob
217.134I cannot understand that woman's love of snow and iceMOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Fri Dec 15 1995 14:096
>    It had better NOT be...
>    At least not here in Dallas:-)


Ahh, g'wan witcha! Marina would love it and you know it.

217.135SCASS1::GUINEO::MOOREPerhapsTheDreamIsDreamingUsMon Dec 18 1995 04:4010
    
    .133, .134
    
    Bob & Jack,
    
    Forecast is "snow" on Monday night here in Dallas.
    
    I love it.  We don't shovel it here. We just stay home.
    
    ;^)
217.136MOLAR::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dogface)Wed Dec 20 1995 15:5929
>================================================================================
>Note 80.1630                         FOOD!!!                        1630 of 1630
>GRANPA::MWANNEMACHER "RIP Amos, you will be missed"   9 lines  20-DEC-1995 12:48
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>    
>    
>    Going to the groups potluck in a few minutes.  Always interesting to
>    see what folks have come up with.

Let me guess. Quantities may be off because I don't know how big Mike's
group is, but the proportions should be about right  -

	2 Crock pots of chile
	1 Chafing dish of American chop suey
	2 lasagnas (if more than 2, one will be veggie)
	1 Big round loaf of bread hollowed out with dip in the middle
	A cold cut tray 
		(Roast beef, ham, bologna and either turkey or chicken breast)
	3 trays of fudge (on aluminum foil)
	4 piles of Festive Holiday Napkins (TM), none of which match, all of
		which clash
	14 loaves of assorted banana breads, pumpkin breads and fruit cakes
	1 Aluminum pan with sausages in sauce with peppers and onions
	No buns for the last item
	4 bowls of potato chips

How'd I do?

	
217.137CONSLT::MCBRIDEpack light, keep low, move fast, reload oftenWed Dec 20 1995 16:224
    You are off on the chips.  There will be at least one party sized bag
    of party mix and Nacho Cheese Doritos.  I would also bet on a crock pot
    of bar-b-cued mini-weiners or kielbasa slices, assorted and sundry
    beverages of the soder pop variety.  
217.138GRANPA::MWANNEMACHERRIP Amos, you will be missedThu Dec 21 1995 09:3414
    
    
    
    That would be the usual, Jack. :')
    
    
    Actually there was a small group.  We had, ham, meatballs, a rice dish,
    stuffing, chicken, a pasta salad dish and a green bean dish.  For
    dessert there was brownies, sweet potato pie, and a banana nut bread. 
    Very good eats to be sure.  
    
    
    
    Mike