| Welcome back to the 1991 Heavy_metal Annual Awards Topic. Management decided
to blow off the visual stuff for now and get right into the noter topics!
Funniest - The Funniest noter has always been Shawn Labounty. He's got two
strait titles and is going for a third! Jesse and Flip were hot on his tracks
and have been for the last 2 years but never quite had what it took to unseed
the champ. GH, Scary, and newcomer Escoboar were all challanging for the
title. Envelope please...
And the weener is Jesse Hernandez. The champ is unseeded!
Biggest Troublemaker - Who starts the most trouble? Now theres a good one! We
have me the defending champ, /prc the veteran troublemaker, but there was also
trouble from the youth of the world escoBoar and Frizpose also started a lot
of stuff that caused trouble. I dunno, who will it be?...
FRIZPOSE!!!! Never before has a rookie create so much controversy. From his
great beginnings with the L.A. Guns topic to the metallica bashing Friz was
a rude little sh*t.
Most Informative - here's Greg house to give the award for most informative.
Thank's Jess, I'm Greg House, a member of the board of Moderators in
Heavy_Metal here to give the award for this years Most Informative Noter.
The competation this year was astounding, with several noters having
actually been informative. Since there were no actual nominations for this
award, I'll dismiss with the quotes and proceed with the award!
In first place, the Most Informative Noter of 1992 was Francine Goldberg,
well known to us as F. and the Goddess of Fdottedness!
[insert sound of massive applause]
Congratulations to you F., those long hours of typing in articles on bands
have not gone unrewarded!
In second place we have a tie between Allen Frisby (the Frizkid), and Alan
Starr. Must be the name...
Thank you all for your informative notes!
[insert sound of more applause]
Best Musician - Here to present the award for best musician is someone who
can't play a single instrument. Me. Since the conference started we've used it
as a media for talented individuals to show off their talent among other
noters, whether sending tapes or playing live, we've all been supportive of
one another. Geeze, I sound like a frigg'in Alan Alda movie. Anyway the
bestest, most talented musician as voted by you the viewers was...
FRIZKID!!!
PSYCHE!!! Bill Buckley come on down! THis is Buck's second award! I guess he's
really "Got the Beat" Go-Go Buck!! What a BBST(tm)!
Best Hair - Here is JJ Chase-on, to present the best Hair winner.
We all know that Rob Rothberg won this award last year, and frankly
this HMer thought he would be winning again this year......NOT!
the case. This year's BEST HAIR award goes to:
Duy Le! (clap, clap, clap, clap)
Now for those of you who have never met Duy his hair is indeed
impressive. Long jet black hair, last time I saw him it was
almost to his butt. Jim Whitman came in a close second and
believe it or not Rob Rothberg came in third.
Most Bashed - Thank you Jesse! The second award I'll be presenting this
evening is one close to my heart. As Queen LGTB(tm), I was
lucky enough to win this award last year. What is the award
you ask? The coveted MOST BASHED!! (clap, clap, clap, clap)
Thank you. This was one of the closest battles in this year's
running but 1991's biggest bashee is........
Allen "Frizkid" Frisby! (clap, clap, clap, clap)
Allen's biggest contender for this award was Chris Escobar who
was only one point behind the 'kid. And trailing behind Chris
was Peter Cook with 2 points. However, I would like to
make it known that I didn't receive one nomination! Thank you.
Best Partyer - Once again Rob and I partied our way to the top along with the
rookie chick hick from Texas, April. Pete also gave chase, even though he
booted after one shot! Anyway the creme de la creme of the boozers was none
other than Rob Rothberg! Congrats Rob, and have a drink on me!
Rookie of the year - I thought last years rookies were bad. This new crop was
just as bad, they came out swinging and slugged it out with us vets no matter
how bad we made them look. The three rooks who rose to to top of the heap was
'pril, friz, and Escoboar. The rookie of the year last year was that Tracy
chick who dared challange the bashers with her LGTG(tm) ways. I still think
she was someone's kid though. Anyway here goes...
All three deserving, only one can win. Well unless
there is a tie. <wink> Nope, no tie here . The oughtright winner was CHRIS
ESCOBOAR!!! 1991 Rookie of the year!!!
Thanks Herr Devil Dog. As the proud recipient of the 1990 HM BEST BASHER
award, I'm honored to be able to present the 1991 HAAT award in this
category. Following in the tradition of my retched rhetorical wrath for
BEST BASHER were notes newcomers Fridkid and EscoBrat. Making a strong
showing of votes were some volatile veteran verbal vipers, Scary, /prc,
and the Buck, last years clean sweep slasher. And from 6,000 miles away,
we all felt the shockwaves of crude, cutting, and caustic wit...the UK
wonder, 2nd only in pur woman power to our dear Queen (everyone wave like
the Queen!!)...Flip!! Lots of nasties were noted this past year, and this
was an extremely close race for honors. One noter bashed a little harder,
a little longer, and a little more intensly than the rest. ...and without
further adieu, the 1991 HAAT award for BEST BASHER goes to...
JESSE (DD) HERNANDEZ!!!
Best fight - Ooooowww! lotsa good ones but the best ones were Jim Whitman and
his friend popping Duy in a jealous rage, the 'pril/wendyo wars, and the
Pete/Friz conflict. Ah but the best one was The Jesse/Pete baby debate, where
it was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pete was acting like a big baby.
Calmest noter - AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! O.k. who is calm? I'll tell you, <envelope
rips> Paul Mccarron, is he still around? Runner up was /k and Greg House.
Hmm.
Shortest Fuse - Should be the immaturest award but hey, who am I to talk?
Anyway we had a great battle with everyone voting for their favorite short
fuse person. When the dust cleared Pete was able to fly off the handle a
little quicker than the Frixkid. Congrats Pete.
Shortest noter - Ha. Ha. Everyone knows that F. is shorter than I am so why
did anyone vote for me. Sheesh, well F. won, I mean c'mon she's a real short
person. Congrats F. you really deserve it.
Best Nickname - Whoa, the Goddess of f-dottedness runs away with this one.
Frizpose was a distant second. KimmyLast year's runner up ran up again but was
a tad further behind this time out.
Most technical - Buck-e-lee takes home the Gold in a techno-weenie blowout!
Gh, and Mikey Heiser also finished strong, whew, does gh smell strong!
Note of the Year - Rob's You're a lush beat a field that included the trial
of Shawn Labounty, and the Scary "WHy Pete started EHM" which led to Jesse
proving what a baby Pete was. All were pretty funny.
Noter of the Year - The final topic of the noter stuff. Noter of the year is
kinda like the MVP in a professional sport. Who contributes the most to the
team. everyone has their idea of what to look for in the noter of the year and
one person stood out and was able to meet criteria held by the most among us.
The 1991 NOTER OF THE YEAR is...
GREG HOUSE!!! Congrats Greg. The place wouldn't be the same without you.
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