Conference napalm::guitar

    Neil Young's solo in "Southern Man" is the first one that comes to my
    mind.  Tone-wise, it fits into the song all right, but it's technically
    so sloppy and "unproficient" my hand leaps for the tuning knob of its
    own volition.  Honest.  But then, I bet Neil's name appears in this
    note more than once.  %^)
    
    Dave

        Yeah Southern Man solo is bogus.  Not to defend since this is the worst
	solo note, I always happened to like the solo in Kentucky Woman.  I guess
	to each his own.

	Anyways, I second the Southern Man nomination.

	Lv
	

Does the solo in "Cover Of The Rolling Stone" count?	8^)

alan

    I think this game's over before it starts. I heard the legendary Neil
    Young tune just last week, & sure enough, I had to change the station.
    More to the point, everyone I knew *at the time* thought it was bogus
    too. One outstanding aspect of this particular solo that will be hard
    to top is that it makes an otherwise reasonable sounding band sound
    incompetent. A close second in this category might be "All Right Now"
    by Free, & that's mostly because he just waits too long to get on with
    it.
    
    Neil Young has this race sewn up; & that's even putting all that '70's
    dog sh*t like Average White Band, Kool & The Gang, etc. in. "Saturday
    Night" by Bay City Rollers might have had a chance, but it's nowhere as
    annoying as "Southern Man".
    
    I used to cover "Paranoid", & I found I had to change a few things
    (mostly the tone) to make it work; but it's not even a contender IMHO.
    
    There's probably some old Grand Flunk (Mark Farner) stuff that might
    qualify.
    
    Paul 

I dunno if this counts, but in the song "It's Not Unusual" (I think thats the
title) By Tom Jones has some horrible guitar work, not really a solo that was
played by Jimmy Page...truly horrible....

    
    I wouldn't even put 'ol Neil in the running.
    
    There is a group of guitar players who play the same crummy solo in
    every song without any attempt to match the solo to the song or even
    the chord arrangement. Kind of like they learned how to play one thing
    and that's all they can or will play. I nominate this entire group.
    
    
    Now, I'm not saying that Neil's solo is a work of art or anything, but
    at least he seems to be aware of what song he's playing.
    
    Kevin

Jerry Garcia's recording of "Feedback".  I've never heard anything worse.

Jim

    I'll nominate Pete Townsend's solo in The Who's cover of Summertime
    Blues. It's pretty feeble but then he hits a clam. I guess they thought
    it was close enough for rock and roll.

The solo in Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel" is pretty awful.... (isn't that the
solo that started the quote "close enough for jazz"?)

alan

Give Neil Young a break,,, what ever he lacks in solo ability,
he makes up for in looks 8^)

I always thought that some of Lindsay Buckingham's solos in Fleetwood
MAc's "You can go your own way" era were pretty lame....

Also, never been a big fan of Dave Davies (the Kinks) work either....

And I don't know who they were, but the dudes that played with Joplin
were scary....  Of course that was VERY early in the game, so maybe
not fair game going after them...

RE: Kentucky Women...  You sure that wasn't Rod Evans ???  He was
credit as lead guitar/lead vocals back then wasn't he????   I should
know this of course, being the Blackmore head that I was.

And this may not count for much, but for more recent bashing....

The lead in "Walk Like an Egyptian" is pretty horrific.....
Can we really bash wicked cute f.m. gutiarist though ????

> I always thought that some of Lindsay Buckingham's solos in Fleetwood
> MAc's "You can go your own way" era were pretty lame....

Heresy!!!

alan

re: kentucky woman, nope it's blackmore, and yep it's one of his worst

ditto the kinks, they must have been on the "earn while you learn" program,
never did like that band anyway

actually I think the insanly fast but meaningless crap on the one Yngvie album
I had the misfortune to try all qualifies

but for true tripe catch the Dead on a bad night, makes industrial music sound
pretty, apolgies to all Deadheads, one man's poison etc.

Alvin Lee SPROINGING off his 335 in the beginning of "I'm going home" Lincoln,
Nebr. 1971 was a leading contender also, and the mike stand "slide" solo was 
painful too...

dbii

    ANY solo by Clapton!

    Really?  Even "Forever Man"?   I don't think so.  But I will concede
    that he don't often play 'em like that anymore.

    RE -(a few)
    f.m. guitarists ???
    Try the Runnaways after Joan Jett & Lita Ford moved on.
    Yucch !
    
    Lindsay B. is OK most of the time.
    
    Clapton "shines" on "Cocaine", doesn't he ? ;-)
                                               
    Paul
    

    How about the solo in Nirvana's "In Bloom".
    
    Yike!

    The Beatles "bad boy". Sounded like a rehearsal take.

    The beatles  "I saw her standing there"
    
    P.K.
    (closet clapton fan)

    
    Hmm, difficult one - I try not to listen to music I don't like!
    Well, what about:
    
    * "Hi Ho Silver Lining" - Jeff Beck (Monumental guitarist, but what was
       he on when he recorded this little gem?)
    
    * "Beat It" - Eddie Van Halen (Yucky, tuneless scale-based drivel, but 
       perfectly suited to a Michael Jackson song. Taste? What 's that?)
    
    * "Maniac" - Michael Sembello (Same as above, really. Music for
      skateboarders!) 
    
    *  Practically anything by Messrs. Satriani, Vai, Malmsteen & co. 
       (Gentlemen, it's never too late to get a nice, safe job at the bank.) 
    
    
    All guaranteed to have me reaching for the dial of the radio - assuming
    I don't pass out before I get there!
    
    Dom 

    OK, if you're ready for some heresy:
    
    The intro to "Eight Miles High." (Once that's over, I like the tune,
    but sheesh!)
    
    Bob

    RE -2:
    I thought EVH "saved" Beat It. You may be choking on the "polyrhythms".
    
    Malmsteen ROOLZ !!
    
    Satch & Vai ??? How *dare* you ?
    
    Are you sure you're not just doing "speed bashing" ?
    
    Next, some wing nut's gonna say, "Worst solo of all time...? Easy,
    Cliffs of Dover."
    
    I think there's a FOLK_MUSIC conference in here somewhere.
    
    
    RE lousy Beatle solos... "Slow Down" is no prize either, but then again
    neither is "While My Guitar Gently Weeps". I think they even brought in
    a guest studio session player for that one. 
    
    Paul 

dumping on the Bryds is not heresy, it's required :-) Yeecch!!

f.m. guitarists? Try the runaways before Joan and Lita left PFFFT! I had the
extreme misfortune to see them warm up Boston, shudder groan, puke...

dbii

re: while my guitar gently wheeps

yeah the session play is: Eric Clapton!

but I always liked that song until healey butchered it...

dbii

    
    
    
    re: .23
    >I thought EVH "saved" Beat It. You may be choking on the "polyrhythms".
    No, I'm choking on the guitar-playing. And it would take more than a
    guitar solo to save that particular record.
    
    >Malmsteen ROOLZ !!
    Er, *what* exactly ?
    
    >Satch & Vai ??? How *dare* you ?
    Oh, it's quite easy when you get the hang of it!
    
    >Are you sure you're not just doing "speed bashing" ?
    I daren't answer that one, for fear of triggering off the usual
    argument! Let's say "maybe".
    
    >Next, some wing nut's gonna say, "Worst solo of all time...? Easy,
    >Cliffs of Dover."
    Never heard it. Going by our different tastes in music, that's probably
    not a bad thing...
    
    >I think there's a FOLK_MUSIC conference in here somewhere.
    There's *certainly* a HEAVY_METAL conference!
    
    >RE lousy Beatle solos... "Slow Down" is no prize either, but then again
    >neither is "While My Guitar Gently Weeps". I think they even brought in
    >a guest studio session player for that one. 
    
    Ahhh, the days when guitarists had hearts and souls...and not just
    itchy fingers.
    
    
    MORAL: Wouldn't the world be one helluva bore if we all liked the same
    thing?
    
    Dom (who'd prefer to listen to NY, EC and Keef play "Three Blind Mice"
         than some shred bore who spent his childhood locked in a room!)
                                

    good stuff. 8 MIles High is certainly a bad guitar solo. McGuinn
    says he was heavily influenced by COltrane in that era. Sounds more
    like somebody who'd been learning guitar for 2 or 3 days. 
    
    Does anyone remember a Dylan tune called Leopard Skin Pill-Box 
    Hat? There's a really bad solo at the beginning of that one.
    
    - Dave

    
    Who ever does the solo in Takin' care of business by BTO.
    Truly horrible and also out of tune.
    
    Bobby D.
    

    RE -1:
    I believe that's Blair Thornton.
    
    "...Pillbox" has that "light gauge, action too low, clean Strat" tone
    too. (Yuk)
    
    E.C. on "...My Guitar..." by The Beatles: I know, but there was too
    long a waiting line at the Clapton Bashing topic.
    
    "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson contains some tough to play but
    extremely tastey stuff. If you haven't heard it, check it out. (I don't
    consider EJ a shredder.)
    
    "8 Miles High" intro: Gaaaaahk, now that's bad; & he blames *Coltrane*.
    
    Keith Richards' solo album is solid. No lightning speed, just pumpin'
    Rock 'n Roll.
    
    My vote still goes to Neil Young. He's not just bad, he's annoying.
    
    Paul
    

re: .28
    
>    Who ever does the solo in Takin' care of business by BTO.
>    Truly horrible and also out of tune.
    
re: .29
>    RE -1:
>    I believe that's Blair Thornton.
     
I'd be very surprised if it's not Randy Bachman.  I *do* agree that
it's bad, though!

-Hal

    RE -1:
    re: .29
    >    RE -1:
    >    I believe that's Blair Thornton.
    > ...Randy Bachmann...
    
    I believe Blair did most of the BTO solos, that was just a guess tho.
    That one certainly could be somebody else.....
    
    Paul
    

Jimmy Page, "Heartbreaker".  The guy was way over the speed limit that day.  I
think if Neil Young had played that, it would have sounded similar, but better.
:-)

I second "Takin Care of Business".  How they let that one out I don't know. 
Maybe they thought it had "emotion". :-)

adam

    Gotta put in my 2 cents about the beatles solos mentioned so far (I was
    wondering when the first one would be mentioned).
    
    Of the three mentioned seriously, I would agree that "Slow Down" and "I
    Saw Her Standing There" are forgettable, though of course I wouldn't
    say they were bad.  However, I disagree with "Bad Boy."  I think that
    whole song has some very cool guitar work, lead included.
    
    							Marc 

    RE -1:
    > ...whole song has some very cool guitar work, lead included.
    
    Lead *part*, maybe, but wasn't that the one that sounds like he fell
    asleep during the solo.
    
    I must agree with the other half of your note, though.
    
    Every time I think of that Neil Young hack job, I just can't come up
    with anything even close.
    
    Paul

    re: 33 - 
    I'm not really sure its Bad Boy, it might be Slow down. its one of 'em on 
    the past masters V1 CD. I'll listen 2nite. And thanks again for the
    tab. 
    -----------------------
    besides, my vote for top early 60's pop group guitar player is Carl 
    Wilson. :-) Course he kinda lost it since then. This probably explains
    alot about me eh?
    
    j
    

    I would have to put in a vote for the solo to "i love it loud" by Kiss.
    Paul Stanley played this excuse for a solo and its proves all along
    what I thought and that's no musician!
    
    
    						ian

The worst screech that ever assaulted my ears had to be Free Form Guitar by
Chicago.

Maybe that was free based guitar .. whatever %>)

Heard this one yesterday:

Locomotion - Grand Funk Railroad

What the hell was that guy trying to do, other than make noise???

alan

    
    Worst Guitar Solo ...
    
    Mine ... every time I play the guitar!!
    
    I guess this happens quite often when you let a rabid bassist 
    loose on six teeny-tiny strings ...
    
    /Billy_K

    RE -2:
    I *knew* Grand Flunk would end up on this list one way or another !
    
    Paul 

    >Worst Guitar Solo ...
    >Mine ... every time I play the guitar!!
    
    I guess you have not heard me solo on the guitar yet 8'}

    Shaddup Will...
    
    Don't let him fool you gang, Will does just fine on the guit...
    jc
    

    RE: Buck's "any solo by EC".....
    
    Buck, don't you mean *every* solo by EC?
    
    8^)

    I heard Blue Cheer's version of "Summertime Blues" over the weekend,
    and the guitar solo in that is a dog of monumental proportions.
    
    Except it fits into the rest of the arrangement perfectly.  %^)
    
    Dave

    Your right, exceeded perhaps only by the bass solo in the same tune!
    He says more with three notes than most people say with none.

    The only song that beats "Southern Man" is also done by Squeel Young...
    
    "Cinnamon Girl", the glory of one note!!
    
    Edd

    Neil's solo in "Down by the River" is as lame as most of his others...
    
    IMHO, of course......but what do I know, hell I like Eric Clapton!
    
    8^}

    IMHO, 
    
    > Neil's solo in "Down by the River" is as lame as most of his
    > others...
    
    	Neil's the only one qualified to compete with Neil for this prize.
    
    RE Blue Cheer:
    
    	No contest, BOTH lead & bass solos fit the song. Besides there are 
    *plenty* of lame bass solos, so save those for another note. 
    
    (Didn't they show up for a gig once with 104 Marshall stacks & have to
    play outdoors instead ?)
    
    To make this "fair", we really ought to establish some "objective"
    criteria for comparison, & rate each on a scale of 1 to 10.
    
    For example:
    	Technically incompetent...sounds technically incompetent...*trying*
    to be too cool for his (her) own d*mned good
    	Tonally dissonant...out of tune...*intentionally* out of tune 
    	Doesn't fit the song...*spoils* the song...spoils other parts of
    the song.
    
    No matter how you slice this, no one can touch Neil Young.
    
    Paul

    Man, if Neil Young and Leigh Stephens (Blue Cheer) are as deep as you
    guys can get you must have been missing a lot of great garbage guitar
    out there.
    
    How about all the Lou Reed wannabes playing alternative rock (Karl
    Precoda of Dream Syndicate a great example)?  Or Ron Asheton of the
    Stooges (they made him switch to *bass* once they found James
    Williamson)?  Or Johnny "I'm on the road to oblivion" Thunders from the
    NY Dolls?  Better yet, Patti Smith mangling a DuoSonic that once was
    owned by Jimi on the monumental title track of "Radio Ethiopia"?  
    
    In another realm entirely is Wild Man Fischer doing "Wild Man Plays The
    Guitar" (in which W.M. comments how the engineer is worried that W.M.
    will break his guitar but Frank Zappa aint worried because if W.M. does
    break it, Frank will pay for it).  Real serious scholars will recall
    the Shaggs album "Philosophy of the World" with its awesome opus "My
    Pal Foot Foot".  Did the Plasmatics ever record Wendy O's routine of
    chainsawing the guitarists's Les Paul in two? 
    
    But the real peach has to be Jerry's long solo at the end of the second
    set at Winterland 7/24/76. Or was it 7/26/74?
    
    8^)  8^)  8^)
    
    							Sloppy Scales

    How about Page live.  Man, he hit some of the worst notes, and some
    his runs, well I could hit more notes scratching a chalk board.
    
    

>    How about Page live.  Man, he hit some of the worst notes, and some
>    his runs, well I could hit more notes scratching a chalk board.
    
    No way!  Page Hamilton roolz!  I didn't even know there was a live
    Helmet album.
    
    Greg

    Another "worst" candidate:
    
    Keef Richard's solo in the Stones' version of "Aint Too Proud To Beg"
    (the old Motown tune).  It really reminds me of the solo in "Cover of
    the Rolling Stone"......"aw, dat's booteeful".
    
    8^)

    RE -1:
    No way !
    The Stones' cover of "Ain't Too Proud..." is already rubbish, so
    Kieith's solo works just fine. (Sounds like he took a maximum of one
    take to get it "right" though.).
    
    "Cover of R.S" is *intentionally* bad, so it doesn't really count.
    Besides, there's lots of worse ones, like for example Neil Young's Down
    by the River.
    
    JMHO
    
    Paul 

       > No way !
       > The Stones' cover of "Ain't Too Proud..." is already rubbish, so
       > Kieith's solo works just fine. (Sounds like he took a maximum of
       > one take to get it "right" though.).
    
    I can't imagine that there were any takes worse than the one we hear...
        
    Keef's solo on that tune REALLY SUX...I mean REALLY!  The
    song is rubbish as well, I must agree.  8^) 
    

    Anything Kieth Richards does sucks!!!  Even Niel Young is a virtuoso
    next to old Keef!!! 

    re: -1
    
    thank you.....
    
    8^)

    YO, Keef's vocal ability may not be in the same league as the
    "extraordinary" N.Young, but at least his guitar work has *some* good
    moments (even though you may have to go back a few years).
    
    What song of Keith's has guitar playing any worse than that "Hey, Hey,
    My, My" Neil Young monstrosity ?
    
    I still think the guitar strangulation on "Southern Man" &/or "Down By 
    The River" will live on into the next century as some of the *worst*
    bludgeoning of a stringed instrument *ever*.
    
    (If you think Keef's bad, did you ever see Mick strap on an axe ? You
    don't wanna know !)
    
    Paul

    I like Neil Young, I really do.  And I usually read the requisite Neil
    bashing in here with a chuckle.  But I was watching highlights of the
    Bob Dylan tribute last night on TV and saw Neil come out and mangle "All
    Along the Watchtower".  Actually, the tune itself had a rather appealing
    primal energy (Neil's forte) but the numerous lead breaks (one would
    have been too many) were absolutely putrid.  They didn't even qualify
    as primitive energy, just inept.  Lawdy, I may have seen the light!
    
    /rick

    RE -1:
    Now keep in mind, Neil's not at all new to this trick.  ;-)
    
    Paul

Just heard another one the other day that I forgot about - "You Gotta Fight
(For Your Right To Party)" by the Beastie Boys contains a most nasty solo...

alan

   >> "Rulers make bad lovers"
    
    especially those wooden ones with the metal edge on them.....
    
    8^} 

    re .51
    
    I ment Jimmy Page as he was years ago, I do not know how he is
    now...

    re: Will
    
    I know, I was just jokin around wit-ya (but Page Hamilton *is*
    excellent!). 
    
    Greg

    RE: .55
    
    >> Even Neil Young is a virtuoso next to old Keef!!!
    
    I really think you're pushing it alittle with that statement!
    
    ;^)
    
    		Fred (who likes all of Keith's older Telecasters and can't
                      say anything positive about Neil Young...   sorry.) 

    Another vote for Neil "Oops! I accidentally put the guitar on
    upside-down, and with 3 g strings!" Young.  Why doesn't somebody in the
    studio tell him... or maybe "accidentally" trip over his guitar cord...
    or trip over HIM?
    
    And how come no mention of Ina-Gadda-Da-Vidda?  Worst title, album,
    song, vocals, AND solo, all in one swell foop!!!
    
    Carl

    I was scanning the channels the other day and I came across Neel Yung
    live.  Don't know who his band was, but they were doing "Keep on
    Rockin' in the Free World" (I guess that's the title).  It was some
    out door concert, I think.  Anyway, my wife was sitting next to me and
    I said....."honey, listen to this!"  She doesn't really know who the
    h*ll Neel Yung is, so it's a real fresh opinion.  She listens for a-
    bout ten seconds and says: "jeez, he's bad".  Then the chorus comes up
    and the other guitar player an bass player kick in for the worst
    harmony you *ever* heard.....my lovely and talented spouse grabs the
    channel changer and clicks 'ol Southern Man away....
    
    I chuckle........
    
    8^}

    Although I like Neil Young and think his Harvest album played a
    significant part in my early development....I must agree with -1. 
    
    If it was last week, it probably was a repeat of the MTV awards. The
    band he was playing with was Pearl Jam. It was like an 80 year old man
    trying to play in the NFL.....Jeeeezzzzzzz
    
    Still playin in Houston
    Pc
    

	Everytime I hear "Taking Care of Business" a start to feel
	queazy as the solo approaches. I'd rank it as #1.

	The Shags! "You're Something Special to Me" (two, three, four)
	and "Fluffy" (which I can't find ANYWHERE). This is art.

	I've always liked Neil Young. He transcends music, art, and
	taste.

	Anybody for taking a crack at CC Deville?	

    Well, I think the "solos" (if you can call them that) on Sada's (sp) (the
    female jazz/pop vocalist) new album are just awful. I saw her on Saturday 
    Nite Live and the guitarist used one note with feedback for the *entire*
    solo....ouch, it was embarrassing to watch!
    
    Jim

    
    	I didn't know she hired Neil Young!!
    
    							GTI
    

>    	I didn't know she hired Neil Young!!

Naw, didn't you notice, this guitarist added *feedback* to the normal NY mix...

    ANYTHING that Joan Jett plays sucks. :-{  Altho' I don't recall if she
    does any solos.
    
    The lead guitarist in Living Color isn't too great either.
    I saw the group in 1991 or 1992  and the lead guitarist was SO bad, I
    left after only 3 songs !!!!  He's one of those players that sounds
    much better on an album than in person.....

    
    re-1
    
    steady on..I like Living Colour !;*)
    
    
    						Ian

    re: -2 and -1
    
    I saw Living Colour about a half dozen times and I'd say Vernon Reid's
    playing was inconsistent.  Not sure I ever saw him suck, but I can
    remember a show or two where I kept waiting to get into the guitar
    playing and it never materialized.  Then again, I saw him put on an
    excellent live show once or twice, too.

    Anyone ever see him with Defunkt? What an intense band. I have one LP
    and it's pretty awesome. Circa 1981 or so...
    
    -kev

    
    I used to have a couple Defunkt albums (joe bowie's band?). 
    They were burning.  There was a tune called "Stranglin' me
    with your love" that I recall.  I didn't know who the
    guitar player was.  This was back in the early 80s.  
    Was he in the band then?
    
    Dave
      

    Vernon also played with Ronald Shannon Jackson and the Decoding
    Society, at least in their earlier days.  "Decode Yourself", their
    first I believe, is especially recommended.
    
    Can't comment on Vernon live as I've never seen him, but I like many
    of the recorded things I've heard.  As always, one person's floorwax is
    another person's dessert topping...
    
    /rick
    

    RE -.2
    
    Yeah. Vernon plays on ONE side of the LP I have: Thermonuclear Assult.
    Although I have seen quite a few Defunkt projects (cd's actually) I do
    not know if VR plays on them.
    
    -kev