Conference 7.286::sports_91

To the tune of Pinball Wizard:


Ever since I was a young man, I rolled the rollerblade,
From LA to the Apple, I guess I rolled it all,
Ain't since nothin' like it, in any of my days, 
That disco lovin' yuppie, rollin' on his roller blades!

    Roller Blades?  Blading????  
    
    It's fror wimpy, yuppy losers.  Another yuppy fad.  A chance to 'be
    seen' wearing all the proper accessories - like ya know, totally rad
    knee and elbow pads and stuff.  Never catch a real manly man like me in
    roller blades, no sir-re-sir.  Roller Blades??  
    
    CLOSE THIS TOPIC!!! 
    
    What's nexted?  Hacky-Sak - cardiovascular giant for the bandanna
    crowd??!!!!
    
    Give me a bReak!  THis is the lowest.  Roller Blades!!????  Argghhhh!!
    
    JD

    > What's nexted?  Hacky-Sak - cardiovascular giant for the bandanna
    > crowd??!!!!
    
    Favorite quote from hacky-sackers: "Like, hey man, ya know, the best 
    thing about hacky-sack is, like, there's no winners and losers, you 
    know?  Like, it's just a game, you know what I mean?"
    
    Looked a lot like Bill Walton, too...
    
    glenn
    

JoRB 

To gets the cardiovascular exercise you have to move your legs. Not just 
hang on to the leash and let the Golden pull you along. 

This should also assist you when stopping "hit the dog". 

I can see it now....

A quiet New Jersey street, elm trees lining each side.  The early
morning breeze has pushed the sulphorous odor of the marshes and
refineries over to Manhattan.

The solitude of the little street is broken by a noise.  Still too
far away to see, the noise comes closer.  Suddenly, over the
rise, here it comes...

A guy in Neon blue roller blades, humongous shorts, t-shirt, shades
and a walkman come into view.  Immediately, the noise becomes
apparent.  One can't hear the walkman, but one can hear the guy,
singing, or more properly trying to sing:

		I don't want, anybody else,
		when I think about you I touch myself
		Oh, oh, oh, I don't want, anybody else,
		when i think about you I touch myself,
		I touch myself, I touch myself....

		I'm big and dumb, I can't get a date,
		so when I think about you I..........


Another day starts in Joisey.....

    
    So what's hackey-sack?  Besides a town in Joisey, that is.
    
    Dickstah
    

    Gag me wif a scroll saw!
    
    Roller blades?  Wardle, you *really* are a piece of work.  Roller
    bladers are for people not manly enough to don the ice skates and head
    for rink, or for those not coordinated enough to ride a bicycle, or too
    weak mentally to endure long-distance running.
    
    I'm wif JD and the Burly-mon on this one.  What's next?  Flourescent
    windshield wipers and mud-guards on the beemer?
    
    Disgusted.

I've seen a lot of people using them in the parks around here and they look like
a pretty good workout (yuppy fad not withstanding)

Since I don't do running and I don't want to lug my bike around in my car all 
the time I was thinking about picking a pair up for lunchtime cruises down at
the park.

So JoRBs....

Did ya get the mondo expensive, titanium sheathed, rocket assisted model or the
department store specials ?

What's the difference between them besides a couple a hundred bucks ?


Metz


BTW - What's wrong with being a Young Urban Professional ? Or is it the extremely
      wealthy, trend following, greed consumed , me generation , thirty 
      something, Double Income, no kids, wave starting, range rover for city
      driving only type that you guys don't like ?

Blades are expensive.  Hell, I can buy three rugby jerseys, with 
numbers and crests for what a pair of those things cost.  8^)

    A hackey sack is a small ball with the brain the size of the person
    using it....I should know I remember when the fad first hit and if
    you attempted to talk to someone playing hackey sack you were in for
    a shock of your life.  THERE ARE ACTUALLY ORGANISM OUT THERE WHO CAN
    PLAY A GAME WITHOUT A BRAIN...Id rate hackey sack a cople tiers above
    rollerblades when thinking of what makes a sport....
    							M_Air_Brooks
    PS Didnt anyone post any of last nights B-Ball scores.....

    BTW, there's a notes file set up just for rollerblade enthusiasts.
    
    Hit KP7 and all that....
    
    
    Mark.

>    BTW, who does that song?  Is it one of Mark's favorite groups, The
>    Feelies?  [You know, like touchie-feelie]
    
I know I'm not spelling it right, but they're the Devinyls.

Pretty cool song if you ask me.  I like it 8^)


'Saw

    Squawk, "I Touch Myself" is by the DeVinyls.  Not bad, but I prefer 
    a 12 bar blues progression myself.  (Hi Mike!)
    
    Mark.

    DeVinyls are an Australian band.  Oddly enough, the Touch Myself video
    has been banned in Australia.  
    
    Quickly overplayed, if you ask me.
    
    Dan

    
    The New Kids did a similar song with Donnie Walberg singing the lead. 
    It goes "...when I think of you, I torch myself"
    
    Dickstah
    

    "I Touch Myself" seems to have started a trend toward smutty tunes on
    the radio.  Have you heard Billy Squier's "She Goes Down" (or something
    like that) yet?
    
    What's next?  Donny and Marie with "Incest Is Really Keen" or Helen
    Reddy with "I Am Dominatrix, Hear Me Roar"?
    
    Pete

    
    	Ah hacky sack!  The guys I work with play that game out here at
    	CXO in the courtyard.  They talked me into playing one day.  So
    	I put in a dip of Skoal and strolled up to the hacky sack circle
    	with my size 11.5 cowboy boots.  The first time that miniature
    	bean bag came my way, I booted that sucker up on top of the roof!
    	Hahahahahaha!  I wonder why they won't ask me to play anymore.....
    
    
    	Claybroon
    
    	ps  Rollerblades are for THITHEES ;^)

There have always been smutty songs on the radio....

Cindi Lauper had that one that mentioned Blue Boy magazine, I can't
think of the name of it, but it was about Mass debating.

A lot of Van Halen tunes could be considered smutty.  


But what the heck, it's not like they're playing Barnacle Bill The Sailor
or Bang Bang Rosie....8^)


Rollerblades would be more fun if the spectators got to shoot the 
people on rollerblades.


'Saw

    Claybroon, a most excellent and righteous punt indeed!  Musta been the
    peench of Skoal.
    
    Pete, rollward on the "I'm Dominatrix, Hear me Roar"!
    
    Mark.

A Dominatrix is a woman who is into S&M, and is the dominant partner.

She's likely to wear leather, carry a big whip, and make you wear
a collar and do WHATEVER she says.


There used to be a radio skit down here called Dominatrix Pizza.
It went sort of like this....


	Dominatrix Pizza:	Open the door, you miserable dungbeetle,
				Dominatrix Pizza is here!
	Customer:		Okay....
	DP:			Take that pizza and sit your bare butt
				on it.
	C:			But it's HOT.
	DP:			I DON'T CARE....SIT ON IT!!!!
	C:			Ah, arghhhhh, argghhhh....


Get the picture?  


As to I've fallen and I can't get up, let's just say it's sex (or lack
thereof I guess) in advertising and let it go at that.


'Saw

    
    Speaking of smutty songs, 'BCN played The Fools "Bite it" this A.M. on
    the way to work.  Nothing subtle about that one.  I couldn't even print
    the lyrics here.  Don't know how the radio gets away with it.
    
    Dickstah
    
    P.S.  But The Fools are funny as hell anyway; the same group that
    brought us "Life [sips] Then You Die."
    

Dickstah,

You want smut, you should check out their newest album.

Heard one tune late one night on 'CGY, called "Kill for the 
Devil". It was a riot. This little ditty about the sun being out 
and the birds singin with a voice in the backround tellin' you to 
go grab a butcherknife etc...

Supposedly, the only song on the album suitable for radio 
airplay...

daryll

    Yes, there have always been smutty songs, but usually they're a little
    more subtle than Billy Squier saying "....she swallows...".  But,
    actually, I can't get worked up over this stuff.  I don't believe that
    dirty songs and pictures are the downfall of "family values" and all
    that B.S.
    
    A local station, KISW, has a couple of morning guys who do re-makes of
    songs, sort of like Weird Al, only the songs sound almost exactly
    like the originals.  They even find guys to sing who sound like the
    originators.  One of their funniest is "My Genitalia".  You know,
    "T-t-t-talkin' about my genitalia".  Okay, maybe you hadda be there.
    
    Hilarious stuff about the Dominatrix Pizza.  They outta do it on
    In Living Color.  Kim Wayans would be a great dominatrix.
    
    Pete
    

    Hawkster,
    
    "I've fallen and I can't get up" is a quote from a TV ad about an
    emergency alarm.  If a person falls, they press the button on this
    gadget and help just magically appears.
    
    They've got different models, because of possible different
    circumstances.  Like, one has this *HUGE* button and it's worn on the
    chest.  The instructions say to make sure you fall on the button.  If
    you fall on your back, you got about .5 sec to flip it over before you
    hit the ground.  :*)
    
    Another one is a helmet model, and you have to dive headfirst to make
    it work.  
    
    A third works off of a gadget that measures the height versus sea
    level.  But, if goes off on elevators and escalators so you have to
    walk.  Also, suicidal people who dive off of buildings generally
    activate this beeper, too.  It senses a change of 2 ft or so, so
    *normal pushups* don't set it off.
    
    If you live on a raft, there's one that is triggered when it gets wet.
    However, you cannot be the type of person who dribbles or drinks
    sloppily, and you got to carry an umbrella whenever you go out, just in
    case it rains.
    
    For people with bad hearts, the "Auto-Kick" option will automatically
    give you an electrical shock to re-start your heart.  You've got to be
    healthy enough to carry around a 12V marine-rated battery, tho.
    
    Other models in development include one that doesnt't send out any
    message (for people in your life who have mega-bucks and have you in
    their will), another that also doesn't send a signal but immediately
    plays a recording of your favorite prayer, and a third that can control
    any VCR, TV and CD player with remote capabilities.  You can watch or
    listen to anything you want as you fade out from life.
    
    All come with a handsome, almost-leather-like carrying case and
    shoulder strap.  Batteries not included.
    
    HTH
    
    lEe

re .29:

	Lee on 'shrooms.....

    
    Which one do you prefer leE?
    
    Dickstah
    

    I just recently received a pair of blades as a gift. For those who
    claim it's an unmanly substitute for ice skating, I say "I love ice
    skating, but it's a LITTLE difficult to find a solid pond when it's
    75 degrees outside.  Rollerblading is a substitute for ice skating 
    but it's not 'unmanly'.  I feel that coordination is much more
    necessary for blading than biking and it's a much more practical means
    of transportation (short trips) than biking is:A.One doesn't have to
    lock them up. B. No real maintenance is required C.Moving from sidewalks
    to streets is much easier on skates than on a bike.
    
        They do have one rather large strike against them though, it's
    tough to stop on them if you've accumulated even a little bit of speed.
    
       So why don't all you anti-rollerbladers out their stop generalizing/ 
    stereotyping and try it before you start rambling about something you
    know nothing about.
                                    Todd K.
                    
    

    re: Metz
    
    I didn't buy the department store brand blades. I ordered a pair from a
    cycling magazine (Performance). They aren't cheap, but it's cheaper to
    mail order them. 
    
    re: Lufay and JD
    
    You think these things aren't manly? Try a pair on, and cruise down a
    hill and see how much you have in the way of filberts. I'll bet both of
    you squids bail out onto a lawn. You can really fly downhill on these
    things....shoot, I even out-ran the golden retriever recently.
    
    And, for the rest of you geeks, no more baloney about silly bands that
    touch themselves...that's their problem and they're not welcome in my
    topic.
    
    JoJ

>       So why don't all you anti-rollerbladers out their stop generalizing/ 
>    stereotyping and try it before you start rambling about something you
>    know nothing about.


**OBVIOUSLY**  a SPORTS notes neophyte 8^)

'Saw                    
    

But seriously...

What's the difference between the $60 Blades available at the local Target or
Fred Myer store and the $200 ones you get at a bike shop or through mail order?


Metz

>>What's the difference between the $60 Blades available at the local Target or
>>Fred Myer store and the $200 ones you get at a bike shop or through mail order?
    
    
    $140. HTH

>>What's the difference between the $60 Blades available at the local Target or
>>Fred Myer store and the $200 ones you get at a bike shop or through mail order?
    
    Target = Bradlees....now, about the blades; As with most sports
    equipment, there is cheap junk that won't hold up when really used, and
    then there is the more costly high performance stuff.
    
    Rollerblades can reach prices well beyond the $200.00 that you
    mentioned. I believe that the competition blades have 5 wheels per
    skate and they have buckles rather than laces. The blades that I bought
    are somewhere in the middle of the rollerblade line. I have a book that
    describes the attributes of each of the skates that rollerblade makes,
    and as you go up in price, you get better quality boots, wheels, etc...
    
    My advice would be for you to go to Dave Cook or Hermans or a local
    bicycle shop and test out a couple of pairs. Then go to Target and I
    think you'll see the difference.
    
    
    Metz, are you in Colorado? If so, I think Old Town Cycle carries them
    and so does Blicks on Tejon.
    
    JoJ

    JoJ, how much does high performance rollerblades help you when you're
    jumping onto/off of bandwagons ?
    
    :-)
    
    Doc

And what are "competition" rollerblades???

Sounds to me kind of like the Professional Frisbee tour.

And who's the Dick Button of the Rollerblade world?



Slchppgin wonk to enquireing deens,
'Saw

    Wardle:
    
    Metz is in Seattle (actually Bellevue - where everyone wears 'blades,
    drives Volvos, and has pet Lapsa Assh*les)  ;-)
    
    JD

    
    	Why do I have this feeling that Wardle is scanning VTX_Jobs
    	right now desperately looking for a position in Bellevue. ;^)
    
    	Claybroon

Bellvue is the "Fairfield County" of the Pacific Northwest.

Everyone knows that Yuppies originated on the Gold Coast of Connecticut
in Fairfield County.  Why even the rugby games have a yuppie influence
to them down in that area.  ;^)

Out in Bellevue they try to do it better, but I've heard they still
make annual pilgrimages to Greenwich, to get the latest Yuppie
Trends...

FWIW,
'Saw

>   Metz is in Seattle (actually Bellevue - where everyone wears 'blades,
>    drives Volvos, and has pet Lapsa Assh*les)  ;-)


Yeah, but I only work here....I hear the guy that started the Chia Hair 
franchises lives in Bellevue on Lake Washington :-)

Actually Bellevue is a lot less yuppy than large sections of Mass. It's more 
disgusting wealth types than yuppy scum types.


Thanks for the info on blades. I'll have to check out a few different types.


Metz

   I looked at `em last week at Gart Bros in Denver. I was there getting
   my kid a new Baseball glove. The first one I bought him (when he was
   six) is still in great shape, but it's just too damned small.

   Anyway, they had these Rollerball things all the way up to $440!

   I almost tried some on, then figured I'd better not. If I got
   interested in that, it'd probably mean helmets and knee pads and elbow
   pads next, and I'm already spending enough money, and doing so many
   damned things, I never DO get to do something real well, just do a
   whole bunch of things okay. Well, Big Suze says I DO one thing REALLY
   well, but I really practice like a maniac at that. ( Or do you
   suppose she was talking about shaving?  ... HMMPH! )

   Mike JN

>Well, Big Suze says I DO one thing REALLY
>   well, but I really practice like a maniac at that.
    
    By yourself?
    

>   interested in that, it'd probably mean helmets and knee pads and elbow
                                                       ^^^^^^^^^     ^^^^^^
>   pads next, and I'm already spending enough money, and doing so many
    ^^^^

Careful, there dude.  People will think you're getting ready for a typical
Digital Employee Review....


>   Well, Big Suze says I DO one thing REALLY
>   well, but I really practice like a maniac at that. 

I always say it takes a REAL MAN to get good at taking out the garbage!


'Saw

   Cripes!

   I get all the respect of a mudflap around here!

   Mike JN

    >   <<< Note 129.51 by COMET::JOHNSTON "Stand Back! I'll handle this!" >>>
    
    
    So That's what you bin practicing.

    Hey, Mike JN, you cain get yo'self some cheap knee pads from
    Riggen...they might be worn out though. I think he had to move to the
    teflon coated knee pads.
    
    re: Doc and Bandwagons
    
    The blades just make it easier to catch the bandwagons.
    
    JoJ
    
    PS - Hey Frankwa, since you're a Conn-eck-ti-cut expert, cain you tell
    me what the heck "Holyland USA" is? I pass it on my way to New England
    and have always wondered what the deal is.
    
    

    Hey Mike JN, mudflaps are nice!  I like mudflaps.  It's cowflaps that
    don't get respect, except by them flinger-type guys.  They're the only
    ones I ever heard about that go around looking for the perfect cowflap.
    
    I got mudfaps on my car, my trailer, my bike even.  And, I'm looking
    for some mini-sized ones for my ridermower.  No reflectors, tho, just
    plain flaps.  
    
    Flaps - now there's a strange word, huh?
    
    lEe
    

    Those mudflaps with (I think) Yosemite Sam saying "Back Off" or "Get off 
    my ass" are real manly.  Frank probably has them on his truck.
    
    Love them "One country, one language" bumper stickers too.  Gag.
    They always seem to be on a pickup with NH plates.
    

>    Those mudflaps with (I think) Yosemite Sam saying "Back Off" or "Get off 
>    my ass" are real manly.  Frank probably has them on his truck.


Nope, don't have mudflaps.  Where I come from, it's more manly to have
mud up on yer fenders.

I've got three bumper stickers ("Happiness is a Good Ruck", "Support
Your Local Hooker -- Play Rugby", and "Rugby Because") on the back end,
and a little Digital logo I picked up in Munich.....



re Holy Land:

Hold Land is in Waterbury, and is the work of one man.  Basically he
took this entire hilltop, and laid it out like the Holy Land in the
time of Christ, only at a much smaller scale (like the houses and such
come to your knees).  It was quite an attraction, but I think it was
shut down in the last year due to lack of funds.  At holiday time, the
big cross was lit up and you could see it for miles around....

'Saw    

    
    >  Holy Land
    
    Isn't this the amusement park that has the Holy Water Slide, the
    Pharisee Wheel, the Holy Roller Coaster, forbidden Candy Apples, and
    all that?
    
    Dickstah
    

>    >  Holy Land
>    
>    Isn't this the amusement park that has the Holy Water Slide, the
>    Pharisee Wheel, the Holy Roller Coaster, forbidden Candy Apples, and
>    all that?
    
No, that's TammyFayArama, located somewhere down in North Carolina.

It also has the Haunted House, inhabited by none other than the
Holy Ghost, the Hall of Prophets, The Holy Martyrs Wax Museum, and
the Abraham and Issac Magic Act.

Probably the most fun though is the Noahs Ark Ride.  One guy gets picked
from the crowd to be Noah, and 50 pairs of folks put on animal costumes.
Everyone else drowns, to be revived after by the local Faith Healer
and/or Paramedics, whoever has more luck....

Finally, you get a 50% admission discount if you can speak in Tongues.....    

>>   ARE YOU MAKING THIS UP!?!?!?

Nope, I'm dead serious.  This guy was some kind of a real religious
guy, who felt bad that people couldn't always afford to travel to the
Holy Land (like I'd wanna travel to a dust ball desert with terrorists
instead of the Bahamas, right?)  But anyway, he built this place.

I always wanted to go check it out, but never got around to it....


Actually, it would be the ideal place to film Godzilla vs Jesus....8^)

'Saw

>    re: filming Godzilla vs. Jesus
>    
>    HAHAHAHAHA!!!(tm)  Cut it out!  Freakin' out_of_breathward!
    
Well, the scale is such that you could take a 6 footer like me, put
me in a Godzilla suit, and find some Jerry Garcia clone to play Jesus, 
and you'd have the greatest movie.

I can see it now....Godzilla emerges from the Red Sea, steps on the
Wailing Wall, wipes out the Manger.  This gets Jesus *really* mad, and
he comes back after Godzilla.

In the big finale, Jesus gets his hands on Godzilla, who suddenly
begins writhing in agony, saying "Minga, Minga, Minga", then pukes
up an ocean of green pea soup, and expires.

As the credits roll, all the little Holy Landers come running out,
singing "Ding Dong, Godzilla's Dead!"

Too cool.....

'Saw

    My dad was commissioner of a large township in western Pennsylvania. 
    During one of his terms, this guy bought all this land and actually
    started building what he called "Walk Through The Bible."  It was this
    path you followed and around every turn you came upon a setting of a
    biblical scene, complete with manequins, and recorded story telling.
    
    My dad called this guy before the zoning commission and the guy said
    that he needed no permit to do this because God had told him to build
    it.  Needless to say, that argument lost soundly.
    
    The guy kept on so my dad fined him thousands of dollars until he ran
    him and his manequins off...but not before a bunch of kids one night
    went through and put all the manequins in various and sundry positions.
    Wonder who those kids were.  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
    
    	--dan'l

    Ah yes - HOLYLAND.  Waterbury, CT.   Right nexted door is the town of
    Watertown, CT - which is where my wife is from.  HOLYLAND.  A landmark.
    
    What Saw says is true.  And yes, people make pilgrimages to visit
    HOLYLAND.  (Much cheaper then going to the real HOLY LAND.)
    
    Anyway, most of my relatives stayed in Waterbury for the weekend of
    the wedding - and as luck would have it, the hotel they picked was also
    hosting two busloads of blind folks making the pilgrimage to HOLY LAND.
    IT was unreal.  Happy hour in the bar was just amazing.  I never had my
    legs whacked so many times by canes in my life..
    
    JD

    Mike JN
    
    Believe me, it was funny.  First, I arrive at the hotel to meet my
    parents and relatives (this is the day after the bachelor party - so
    I'm a little 'shakey')  - I walk into the lobby, and there are an aunt
    and uncle of  mine, a couple of cousins, and about 60 folks with sun
    glasses and canes milling around the lobby.  I thought I had walked
    into a Luis Bruneul movie!!!
    
    Happy hour had free hor d'ourves - and they were all reaching down and
    going "What's this, what is this...etc"
    
    And man did they drink up a storm.  No matter where you went - there
    were bunches of them - on the elevator, in the lounge, the lobby, the
    parking lot.   And all of 'em going to HOLY LAND!!!  
    
    It was surreal.
    
    JD

Went to college with a couple of REALLY fine women from Watertown.  
The certainly can grow 'em there....

Waterbury...Imagine being best known for having Holy Land there. Whoa!

I still wanna do the Godzilla thing....


I guess you have to be pretty hard up to do the bust tour to Holy Land.
I mean, think about it...the soaps have let you down, bingo has lost
it's attraction, and even taking ex-lax doesn't do it for you anymore...

Whoa!

    FRankwa, I think that Godzilla thing (or is it thang) would make a four
    star movie...maybe we can get that noter...what's his name, er...I
    think it's Ghidra (Childs knows him). He fought Mothra I think....we
    could get him a role in the movie too.
    
    FrankWa as Godzilla
    Ghidra as Ghidra
    Dan Shneider as Jesus
    Zulu as Kono
    Cam Fong as Chin Ho
    
    What a production....just dig up Charlton Heston and we're all set.
    
    JoJ

    Oh, I forgot to ask, will Godzilla be wearing Rollerblades?
    
    JoRB

>    Oh, I forgot to ask, will Godzilla be wearing Rollerblades?
>    
>    JoRB
    
    Only if he's a pee-pee smoocher like the other rollerbladers.
    
    Mark.

    BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    
    This topic is hilarious! Gotta love it!
    
    If you can't make fun of religion, there isn't much else you can do 
    in an otherwise dreary existence. Remember, we are all just unwilling 
    passengers on a runaway train to doom and anihilation. Brief spasms of 
    joy are only there to remind us of the total senselessness of all 
    human endevor.
    
    Tom

    When did Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus sneak in here?
    
    John

    Camus would enjoy the absurdity of this note.
    

    John, I think it was just about a week after they didn't meet Big Mac.
    They weren't so overjoyed that they stumbled in here.  Guess the
    swinging door was open.
    
    lEe

Existentialists on Rollerblades....next on Geraldo!

    While sitting down to dinner with my wife on Friday evening I suddenly
    busted out laughing for no apparent reason.  The cause?
    
    
    
    The image of Dick Button sobbing because of the disqualification of
    JoJ for failing to do figure 8's during the Olympic Rollerblade
    complusories.
    
    My wife didn't see the humor.
    
    Mark.

>    My wife didn't see the humor.
    

Dont' you hate when that happens.  I can never explain to other people
just how whacked out and crazy we all our.

In fact, I think all of SPORTS is a few sanwhiches short of a picnic 8^)


Dick Button and the Brian Boitano of Rollerblades.

I'd like to see Hans and Franz calling a Rollerblade event.

	H:  Oh, look Franzie, there is a double axel-shtein
	F:  Look at how shapely and cut up Brian's buttocks are....


hahahahaha,
'Saw

   ....and instead of having skaters leaping over barrels, they'll
   institute a new compulsory where the rollerblade star -  `Bri-Bri'  -
   goes streaking across the ice and must execute a movement whereby he
   leaps ONTO a moving Bandwagon. 

   Dick would be weeping openly ..... tears of admiration.

   Mike JN

>   Dick would be weeping openly ..... tears of admiration.

Nonsense....  Dick would be sportin' a woodie......

    The setting: An empty parking lot somewhere in California, sight of the
    1991 World Rollerblade Championchips. Biff "Leap'in" Langley has just
    completed an amazing triple backflip off a lamp post to score a 9.95
    and move into the lead in the Men's standings causing Scott Hamilton
    and Dick Button to hug each other and sob uncontrollably. Only one man 
    can top Biff, His name, Jim "JoRB" Wardle. Donned with his old Joe
    Nameth Jets jersey, JoRB takes the blacktop. The routine starts
    beautifully as JoRB glides across the concrete and nails a CAR!!!
    Undaunted he does a double flip over the hood. He comes out ok with a
    near perfect landing. Circling back he outruns a Chihuahua yapping at
    his heels, Dick admits that JoRB's power is breathtaking as he goes for
    a triple axel. BAP! JoRB nails a speed bump and now he really soars,
    spinning to complete a quadruple axel, Scott Hamilton now calls his mom
    to make sure she sees this amazing feat. But wait JoRB ain't done
    spinning yet. He keeps spinning right out into the street where he gets
    viciously knocked to the ground by a 12 yr. old skateboarder. Ending
    his chances for the Gold and scraping his hands in the process. Way to
    go JoRB.
                            

DAMN!

I *knew* I should have re-inserted that catheter after lunch!  Now
I've gone and pissed my pants.......

Damn Jesse, that was funny!


Guess tomorrow I'll have to bring my DEPENDS!

hahahahahahaha,
'Saw

    As Saw said, Jesse, catheterward!
    
    Dick Button and Scott Hamilton hugging each other...too funny.
    
    Mark.

>    Dick Button and Scott Hamilton hugging each other...too funny.
    
I can see it now.... My thighs are shuddering with the thoughts of
the bald man (who missed out on being Sy Spermling(tm)) and the thin
runty man, grabbing each other and wowing the audience with a huge
tongulating lip lock, Dick groping a handful of Scott's manly
buttocks, all to the strains of "Gonna Fly Now"....

Why, I'd give them a 9.8, along with two snaps up in a circle.....



Whoa!

    Hahahahaha, good one, Jesse.  :*)
    
    Mike JN, great line about leaping ONTO a moving Bandwagon!!11  Our boy,
    Wardle, would cefinitely take the Gold for that event!!11  
    You didn't mention that he would also change hats while in mid-air,
    which isn't so easy when he's got to select the right one from some
    20-odd hats, each with the emblem of his "favorite" baseball team.
    
    lEe

    
    The humor is great but the point is in the fog.
    
    Anybody who thinks rollerblading is not manly, must be sitting on a
    couch, drinking too many brews, in a skirt, and your garter belt is
    too tight, cutting the blood supply to your manhood, therefore causing
    you not to see the masculinity of rollerblading.
    
    Try it sometime, then crack jokes.
    
    Al_the_burly_man_who_rollerblades

    Yo, Al...chill.
    
    It's all in fun.
    
    Mark.

Really, Al....

We're just bustin' more on JoJ than anyone else, but nothing is sacred in
sports.

I'd bet the coolest application would be the guy I saw training for
cross country ski racing with them.  With the new "skating" motion
so many of the racers use now, they're perfect for that......

'Saw

Dicky Buttons likes em' burly! 

    
    Sorry if I sounded harsh, but I was tryin to use my dry sense
    of humor, on the positive side of rollerblading.
    next time I'll use the smiley faces,
    
    Must be this grim DEC atmosphere is getting to me,
    
    Apologies,
    
    Al_that_burly_manly_man_on_wheels
    
    

    Al, if you were really a burly man, you'd be on ice skates instead of
    roller blades.
    
    Just trying to help.
    
    Mark.

>    Must be this grim DEC atmosphere is getting to me,
    

Ain't dat da troof!

When they decided to announce the closing of the Enfield plant last 
week, they really pulled a boner.  The announcement was to come out
on last Wednesday.

From what I've heard, Enfield was supposed to move into Springfield.
Last TUESDAY, they called the vendors who were fitting up the Springfield
plant to tell them to stop work on the project.  The vendors, slightly
confused, called Enfield to find out why.  So, on TUESDAY, the folks
in Enfield are starting to find out.

But the worst part had to be the story that ran in Wednesday morning's
paper about the closing.  Imagine finding out your site is closing as
you glance at the paper at the breakfast table, before going in to
hear the *official* announcement...


To me, that's kinda like telling Adolf on June 5, that the invasion
is coming at Normandy on June 6......  DUH!

'Saw
    

    Saw,
    
    Unfortunately that type of scenario is commonplace.  When the company I
    worked for closed the division I worked for, I found out first by a
    "possible closing" story in the Boston Globe, and then when my 
    girl friend called to say that one of the Boston Radio Stations played
    a couple of rock songs for the poor laid-off workers at my division.
    
    2 hours later, the official announcement was made - via a VIDEOTAPED
    message.   Nice.
    
    JD

JD --

You ever see the Robin William routine where he talks about God talking
to Man, and God says "I gave you this GREAT planet and you f___ed it up!"...

Well, I can just hear KO going "I gave you guys a GREAT company...."


To me, the greatest epidemic this country and this company face is the
total, utter and complete lack of common sense so many people have today....

It's sad, really.....


'Saw

    Saw, I don't think the big guy is blameless.  
    
    Mark.

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.
(Ken Olson, President, Digital Equipment, 1977)
**************************************************************


Just about says it all doesn't it ??? Plus the continued reliance on the VMS
cash cow when the whole world was converting to UN*X. 



Metz

    I don't know if Al would if he could, but it sure is difficult to find
    a place to ice skate this time of year!
                   
    Todd

    That's what they build rinks for.
    
    Mark.
    
    BTW, Metz...BINGO!

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I thought he was blameless.  The two
excellent examples put in after my note by Metz show that.

I guess I'm just fed up with this clusterf___ of mid-level management that
I've seen, where all they are really managing to do is cover their
own derrieres, and take up space.

What we need is one of them old fashioned fire and brimstone plagues
of biblical proportions....


Sounds like it's time for a Rollerblade Pilgrimage to Holy Land USA!
(whatta a movie that would make)


'Saw

    Hawk, I *vehemently* disagree.
    
    But this is a subject for the Junk Note.
    
    Mark.

    
    In any case, since Digital is in the business of selling computers, I
    think Ken's comment was in the context of revenue potential for home
    computers.  I don't believe that he was trying to make a statement on
    the relative necessity of computers in a world where billions don't get
    enough to eat each day.  At least to that extent, he was wrong...
    
    glenn
    

    Seriously, are there any rinks still open to public skate in the
    greater Worcester area?  If so where are they?  Thanks.
    
    Todd
    
    

    
    
    Todd,
      The Navin skating rink in Westboro is still open for a few
    more weeks.  No public skate, tho', just stick time Tues and 
    Thurs from 11-1.  $3 for 2 hours, best deal around!
    
      The Acton/Boxboro rink, the Concord rink, and one in Natick
    stay open year-round.  During the summers they cater primarily
    to leagues and classes.
    
      Any sport with as great a potential for serious injury as
    rollerblading qualifies as manly.  Rollerblading is not as
    testosterone-drenched as hockey, but it is manly if performed
    at high speeds on hills sans pads.
    
    HTH,
    Charlie
    
    

    
    The main difference between Rollerblading and Ice skating is, if
    you fall rollerblading, broken bones and impending patches of
    purple hermies and hamburger-like substances will plague the
    once spandexed, bright colored, smiling athletes body.
    
    Why do we love danger?
    
    Agree with all the negitive statements made towards this company.
    
    Al_whos_professional_attitude_has_been_stepped_on_to_many_times_by_
    common_sense_lacking_superiors.

What's wrong with the company?

Too many people are in it for THEMSELVES. It used to be that everyone would
pull together to get the job done. Those day's are long gone.




Steve

well, I've only been here for five years.  I agree with what Steve just
said.   So many managers (not mine, thank goodness) are just out to build
empires

Perhaps this company has gotten too big to be effective like it used to
be.  I know one thing...a lot of the "bennies" that used to exist don't, 
in terms of all those little perks we used to have.  I guess they'd rather
nickel and dime us on perks than to get rid of some of that obfuscatory
mid-level management glut...

Gee, I don't know why I'm getting upset.  I'll just end up eating a few
rolaids....

And rolaids rhymes with Rollerblades, which is what I suppose we should be
talking about ;^)

'Saw

    Steve,
    
    (And others)
    
    Another *HUGE* problem is that folks forget that we all work for the
    same DAMN company.  Too many times groups battle each other for
    resources, or deny groups access to sales or support, simply because
    they are from *GASP* another *GROUP*
    
    It really is amazing.  ANd the further you get from Maynard, the more
    pronounced it becomes....
    
    JD

Too true JD. Too much finger pointing and backstabbing going on.
It's really sad. I've been with this company for 11 odd years now
and have really seen a turn for the worse. I guess it was bound to
happen sooner or later, ecspecially with the influx of management
from other companies, like, Honeywell, HP and the lot. 

Another problem is that DEC as a whole is in too many parts. It
seems that there is too much competition between groups, while the
company as a whole is losing direction.

Oh yeah, rollerblading may be fun, but only if your playing roller
hockey or some other manly type game.

Steve

    It blew my mind when I first got here, the way some groups would talk -
    you'd swear it was DEC vs IBM (SoftwareMania II ??)  and it was nothing
    more than an intramural war ... 
    
    Real sad, and highly unproductive ....

    Well, I wasn't going to say this, and it might get me in trouble to do
    this in a public forum, but....
    
    My group, MCG, got the package last week. We are 330 writers, editors,
    designers and video producers in 4 sites. We have until the end of June to
    finish our projects, so we have a better deal than most. There were
    tons of rumours going on since last Oct., but management never
    commented, not even to deny the most ridiculous among them (like we would
    become a subsidiary of DEC Canada and all move to Ottawa...). It was
    more of a relief that we finally got the word, and now can move on to
    the rest of our lives. 
    
    For me, the handwriting is definitely on the wall. I have a journalism
    BA, with a minor in French. I used to be a reporter for the Wall Street
    Journal in Brussels, and got into high tech writing almost by accident.
    Technology for the sake of technology doesn't facinate me, and writing
    speeches about how this latest product announcement is the "most
    significant breakthrough since homo sapiens learned to walk on their
    hind legs" gets stale after a while. 
    
    Anyway, a lot of the mismanagement was done at the top, and these bozos
    will always walk away smelling like roses, when their sheer ineptitude
    was the direct cause for the downfall of an organization. 330 people
    get the axe for being part of the wrong organization, regardless if
    they are a "1" performer or dead-wood. What's that saying about DEC
    management, "F@#& up and move up"? 
    
    Sooo, I'm looking at this as a chance to leave Digital and find
    something I'll really enjoy. Call it my mid-life crisis at 32. I'd like 
    to do something involved with international business and trade issues, 
    since this is a topic I'm interested in. (I'm halfway through a masters
    degree in international relations) I did some freelance writing
    for West Africa magazine on the healthcare, education, ethnic strife and 
    political systems in Nigeria, but at $250 per article, it's tough to make 
    a living at it. Sure, Digital is a very comfortable existence, but this 
    is the push I need to get out, while I can.
    
    I guess it goes to show that the business world never has been fair, and
    probably never will be. I'm not too worried (for now), and I've landed
    on my feet from worse situations. There are a lot of other folks who
    are taking this much harder, and those people I really feel badly for.
    
    Tom

    LIsten up...nix all the depressing talk. It's not fit or the
    rollerblade topic. And for you pussbags that think rollerblades ain't
    manly, I challenge you to put a pair on and play some hockey with me.
    
    You bunch of squids....
    
    JoJ

If dec really wants to reduce head count they should do it the same way Pratt & 
Whitney did it.

P & W found out they were losing a lot of govt contracts because they couldn't
beat the bids of the other contracters and still make money on the product. So
they decided to reduce staff. Every manager ranked his employess. Every higher 
level manager ranked his lower managers. The bottom 10% were cut. No seniority,
no BS trying to compare worth across orginizational boundries. Just a quick
10% cut.

This allowed them to reduce their bids significantly and they are well in the
black now and having record years. 

After dec does this they should go through and eliminate redundant sections of
the company. Too many R&D groups are doing the same thing. Too many groups 
creating conflicting products. The latest DEc idea of throwing people into the 
field from corporate east didn't work so they are randomly targeting groups
and eliminating them with out any real decision process.

It sucks....

I've seen some guys get together in a parking garage around here for some rollerb
blade hockey. Looks like fun...


 Metz

    
    BTW,
    There is s distinct difference between cheap rollerblades and $200+
    types......The cheap ones will make you do a faceplant everytime you
    hit a pebble, the expensive ones you can roll over large pebbles and
    any small rocks you hit will shoot out from under your wheels. This
    is a nice advantage to be aware of if you are in the market for a pair.
    
    Also the most manly sport I have every witnessed (even more than pro
    hockey OR football) was when I was a kid, I used to go and watch my
    cousin play roller-hockey (yes, rollerskates) in paved play grounds
    in Brooklyn. These guys played HARD. When my cousin started playing
    ice hockey, he was a natural (he used to be on the same team as Nick
    Futio sp?), anyway he started ice skating at 14 and was offered
    a contract by the Northstars and Rangers at 16.
    
    Working in a living hell,
    
    Al

    
    Dockers are on the opposite end of the spectrum from rollerblades.
    Dockers are just a cut above a skirt.

    If Dockers are just a cut above a skirt, then wymmyn should wear 'em
    more often.
    
    <insert smiley>
    
    Mark.

Regarding the cuts of employees, one of the things I'd like to see is some
managers get some 'nads for a change and REALLY deal with non-performers.

I had the opportunity to see an individual in another group spend a year
and a half project doing nothing (literally) but reading notes and playing
games.  He fudged his status reports.  I know this because I knew the
system manager and used to see the accounting reports on his system usage.

At the end of the project nothing had been done.  In any other company I've
worked at, the guy would have been canned.  Not here.  He was moved to
another customer site, and another specialist was brought in to do 1.5 years
of work in 6 months.  Unbelievable!

If they're gonna have 4 and 5 spaces on the review scale, they ought to be
used!


As to roller blade hockey, that sounds like fun.  But I think I'll stick
to rugby thank you 8^)

'Saw

    OK, not to go on about my own situation, but I figured I had to blow
    off a little steam. (move this discussion to Junk Notes if you'd like)
    
    Saw, I agree with you about the 4s and 5s and that for some reason, 
    spineless managers don't dare do anything about it. Personnel wants
    these people to have the chance to be "rehabilitated." Fine, but if you
    are not at least a "3" by the next year, you're gone, I say. In my
    previous group, there was a woman who was out sick with a different
    excuse every day. It was downright comical to see the imaginative
    excuses she'd come up with -- if the rest of us didn't have to do her
    work. During 2 years, 4 different times she went on short-term
    disability and came back to work two days before she'd have to be seen
    by a DEC doctor. Eventually, the group of 7 turned into a group of 2,
    when the others all found jobs in other groups, so it was left to me & 
    her (I couldn't leave, since I hadn't been there for 2 years yet.) I
    told my manager about the history of the group (as if he didn't know)
    and my concerns about having to pick up too much slack. He suggested
    that next time I see her in the parking lot, I should just "confuse"
    the brake with the accelerator in my car... Believe me, I was tempted.
    
    Well, I left the group as soon as I could, and she's still there.
    Someone pointed out to me a phenomenon that makes a lot of sense. This
    woman's husband was some kind of hotshot engineer, and part of the deal
    was that she would be guaranteed a job too, or he jumps ship to a
    competitor. Apparently there are a lot of "package deals" where one
    person is a top notch performer, but the other is a useless simp,and
    both are guaranteed jobs. Anyone else heard of this?  
    
    By the way, anyone up for a game of rollerblade hockey (somewhere in 
    E-Mass.)?
    
    Tom

    re 129.12
    
    If that's the only difference, couldn't one buy the lesser expensive
    rollerblades and replace the wheels.  Depending on the cost of
    replacement wheels for the upper end rollerblades they would probably
    still save a bundle.  Does anyone know what it costs to replace all 8
    wheels for Zetra 303 rollerblades? Are wheels standard for all types of
    rollerblades?.
    
    Would anyone like to get a game of rollerblade-hockey going on the
    weekend sometime? Then we'll see who's manly. (ha-ha)

    Note 129.127 is regarding note 129.120 and not 129.12.
    

    
    You can get Macroblade 608 wheels for 25-30 bucks for 4, soooo
    8 would be ~60 bucks. I didn't go into the boot differences, only
    cause the wheel differences were very obvious right off the bat.
    
    Al

   >Anyone else heard of this?  
    
    Yeah, I know of a situation where one hot shot engineer did all his
    girl friend's work in the same group.  She did little to nothing and it
    caused a lot of problems in the group.  A friend of mine is in that
    group (they left it together) but there was really nothing to be done
    in that situation.
    
    Dan

    Zetra 303 replacement wheels are $24 bucks..or so. They come in three
    trendy colors. 
    
    Dunno if that's for four or eight wheels.
    
    JoJ

    Well, it looks like it's $24.00 for four wheels....so $48 for a full
    set.
    
    JoJ
    
    PS - I checked out the Skating notes conference...there's some 'bladers
    in that conference.
    

    
    re:-1
    
    The packages I've seen come in sets of 4.
    
    
    Al
    

    Hawk (and others)
    
    The worst case of abuse I've seen was in my last complay - my boss was
    going to have a baby and go out on maternity leave.  I believe it meant
    she'd get compensated for half time (20 hours a week, maybe less, don't
    remember).  Anyway, she cajoled and whined and pressed until the
    company installed a system in her house, including a second phone line,
    so that she could remain full time.  She was still going to be our boss
    and work 40 hours a week.  
    
    HA!
    
    She'd come in every now and then, talking about how response time was
    fantastic at 3:00 am when she logged on after baby wake her up.  She'd
    ask for status, and then use that to tell her bosses about all the work
    she was doing.   WELLLLLL, one day I get a call from buddies in
    operations.  I go down to the computer room, and find out that her
    LOGIN.COM was archived, and she was trying to get it restored. 
    Basically it showed that she hadn't logged in to the system for over 90
    days!!!  And yet, she'd come in and lie to the bosses, who thought she
    was wonderful.  In fact, they praised her as a model worker. 
    Sickening.    She used the company and abused them.  
    
    So it isn't just DEC - but it does happen here.  I believe I saw stats
    over the makeup of the company.  Most of the company, according to
    those stats are 1 or 2 performers.  Very, very few are 4 or 5's.  
    
    (In fact, I've heard of poor performers getting high reviews so that
    other groups will want them!)
    
    JD

Hawk --

It still happens.  We call it the "special projects promotion".  Or, at least
that's what we call it when we see it.  You get some yutz who couldn't put
in a decent day's work if someone else put half of it in for them, and they
aren't performing.  So their manager promotes them to work on a special
project.

But hey, this company does occasionaly do things right.  I can't give details,
but that old saying about "every dog having it's day" does have some truth
to it....


Anyone see that 60 Minutes thing last night on how the Japanese control
so much of the electronics industry that in as little as 5 years we might
be really f****ed militarily.....  I'll bet those Japanese executives
rollerblade....8^)


'Saw

I tend to agree with you Hawk.

I guess I'm just the eternal optimist, but things will get better, and somewhere
along the line we'll realize what we have to learn to compete better and all.

At this point, though, my main concern is that we'll have been nickled and
dimed to death, to the point where working here isn't any different than 
working anywhere else.  Working at DEC there used to be a few perks, ya know...

Oh well, it's just a job, not an adventure.....8^)

'Saw

    
    'Saw,
    
    	On your analogy about "every dog has his day"..... I think you
    	meant "even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while".
    
    ;^)
    
    Claybroon

No, like I said, I can't give details, but I saw an individual abuse
power and make many people's lives hell.  I guess the proper saying could
be "what goes around, comes around".....

Anyway, this individual got what was deserved.....


Well, maybe if you equate that blind squirrel to.....  yeah, maybe 8^)

'Saw

    Is anyone out there interested in playing rollerblade hockey on the
    weekends?  If so and you live in the greater Worcester area, let me
    know.   
    
    Todd
    

There is a article in USA today that Is all about Blading. 

1-800-232-ROLL Team Rollerblade
1-800-255-7472 The Rollerblade In-line Skate Assoc
Wheel Excitement a guide to in-line skating 143 pages of quiche eating people 
telling you about basic skating, skating backwards, Extreme staking "curb
jumping".   

For Commuting: 
Dave Cooper of Dearborn Mich works for Ford Motor Co. but doesn't own a car. He 
skates to work on one of his 34 pairs of in-lines, his lap-top computer strapped
to his back. "I'm really not a fanatic" says Cooper 32, Captain of Team 
Rollerblade and a member of Team Kryptonics. 
In traffic, he favors Rollerblades "lighting" and wears a custom skate glove, 
complete with skid plates and a rearview mirror on the palm.
Dave's top 10 skating cities, ranked by pavement quality and ability to coexist 
with traffic: 1. New York Manahattan (JoJ), 2. Atlanta (ACC Chris), 3. Houston
(Brooks), 4. San Diego (McIntosh, Pugh), 5. Los Angeles (Debil Dog), 6. Seattle
(JD), 7. Minneapolis (Mr T), 8. Washington D.C 9. Tampa, 10. San Fran. 

    That's Great Jeff!
    
    Glenn

    Good news for the macho rollerblades community: Scott (?) Olson, the
    inventor of blades, won a court settlement against Rollerblades
    yesterday in a Minneapolis court.  Olson had started the company and
    as it grew encountered cash flow problems.  He turned to the heir to
    the Nagaele family (outdoor advertising) and basically cut a deal on
    a piece of paper.  As the company boomed into a big-time operation,
    young Nagaele brought in a_army a lawyers who proceeded to oust Olson
    from his company giving him a percentage of the net off a cooked books
    versus a percentage of the gross.  Later on they slapped him with a 
    no-compete suit which Olson fought and won.
    
    The terms of the agreement weren't disclosed, but word here is that
    inventor Olson has gone from a hundred thousandaire to a millionaire.
    
    Maybe there *is* justice in this country.
    
    MrT

Saw a thing on one of those Stunt Challenge shows a while back, talking
about "extreme rollerblading".  Of course, they were careful not to
use the term rollerblading, which is like a trademark or something.

Anyway, these guys do rollerblading in the half pipe, like skateboarders,
and they do jumps over cars from ramps and stuff.  They also do stairs.

The craziest thing I saw though was this bunch of rollerbladers
flying down this hilly, curvey road in Southern California.  I mean,
they were flying about 45 miles an hour, and if they hit a bump, they
catch some really huge air....

Craziest damn thing I've ever seen....


'Saw