Conference 7.286::digital

    
    Like MCS = More Compact Support
    
    	or,
    
    DEC = Don't Encourage Customers
    
    	or,
    
    SLT = Serious Leadership Training
    
    	my favorite now,
    
    CMC = Command Maniacs Coming
    
    
    	Have fun -
    
    			the Greyhawk

    DCS - Discontinued Consulting Services

    BP -- Better Paid

    I enjoy acronyms.. can't spell 'm, so I use 'm.
    
    DEC  -- Didn't Educate Customer
    
    ASC  -- Another Service Call
    
    TDM  -- Typical Digital Management
    
    AVP   -- every day there's a new one
    
    BFGB  -- Broke, fix, get banana
    
    CFS   -- Can't Fix a Sandwich
    
    SCP   -- Salary Continuation Plan
    
    DOA   -- Digital or Alpha
    
    DYLT  -- Do you like Thursday??
    
    IBM   -- who care's
    
    
    

    TGIF -- You all know -- Thank Goodness it's Friday.
    
    S**T -- I'm "Sure Happy it's Thursday" too. 
    

    R&D:  Redundancy & Dismissal
    
    Frank

CUSP == Critical Unsupported Sortware Product
				/AHM

HRO = Human Remains Organization

    CLD   Customer Leaving DEC/Digital

    ITOFA - I'm Tired Of Freaking Acronyms

    ISDN   =   It Still Does Nothing

  TLA = Three Letter Acronyms

  POD = "Planfully" Outsourced Digit

  

    CHAOS	Can't Handle All Our Systems
    
    IBM		Inferior But Marketable		(might be an old one)

  FORD = (too many expansions to remember)  Fix Or Repair Daily

  TQM = Trendy Quality Meetings

    RTFM	(You already know this one)
    SWAG	Scientific Wild Ass Guess
    HMFIC	Head *(&^%$ $@%%&^ In Charge
    
    none of these, of course, are DECronyms

    
    RE.16
    
    Found on road dead...
    

re: .5          TGIF -- Toes Go In First


    BOM      -- Basic Operator Malfunction

    BUM      -- Basic User Malfunction

    DILLIGAF -- Does It Look Like I Give A Farquar

    DWI      -- Done While Incoherent
             -- Done While Incompetent

    Re: .18
    
    >   RTFM        (You already know this one)
    
    For those on the right side of the pond, 
    this has been officially changed to:
    
        RTSM
    
        Read The Shaggin' Manual

    Re .18, .12
    
    The there was the version you could use ON a customer's site:
    
    RTFM - Read the FRIENDLY manual
    
    Then there is a utility the appeared on VMS for a while called
    
    BFH
    
    To quote the developers answer to "What is BFH" ? From upper
    management:
    
    	"Big Hammer, the F is silent"
    

    Re: .18:
    
    HMFIC      Head Management Fool In Charge?

    Heard this on a training course last week:
    
    GURU = General Understanding, Relatively Useless
    
    Especially relevent when you get labeled as such, 
    after only 5 days of training.
    

    
    	VAX = Vitrually Archaic eXpression
    
    	CLF = Company Losing Footing
    
    	FAT (as in uSoft stuff) = F***ing Awful Technology

    from 1693.20 
    
    BIT   Binary Digit - a digital employee in these days  

    DAM = Mothers Against Dyslexia
    
    BBIBTNBAA = Bad Breath Is Better Than No Breath At All
    
    ILAR = It Looks About Right
    
    TLAR = That Looks About Right
    
    

  UBBI = You better believe it

    DEC  = DAMN EXPENSIVE COMPUTER

    For you UNIX fans:

     	vi = virtually impossible

	PPPPPPP = Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

	from a broken English speakin one

	ASAP = Are Systems Available Possibly ?

	Tero

    BOHICA - Bend Over Here It Comes, Again
    
    RM
    

    IBBY
    
    I'll be blasting you
    
    

    From the saloon that I attended in graduate school:

              IITYWYBAD = If I Tell You, Will You Buy A Drink?

    TANSTAAFL- There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
    
    Phil

    	IPX- Inept Protocol eXample.
    
    Phil

    HAT - Humans Against Tla's.
    
    Ken

    I once used the abbreviation NFW when my dughter asked me to do
    something.
    
    "What's that mean, daddy?"
    
    "No Way."
    
    "But there's no F in no way, daddy."
    
    "Exactly."

    You all did very well.  I see Greyhawk, and I know people in your
    office building who find your notes verrry interesting, that you
    weren't on a soapbox in this note.  
    
    Remember this is to keep you laughing on those days when Digital is
    getting you frustrated.
    
    Life is a banquest and there are poor SOB (somebody other bother)
    starving to death..........  
    
    Here is the document that I intended to enter, but had already printed. 
    If you have a Digital Dictionary you will find plenty of the acronyms
    there for your version.
    
    Again this is for your enjoyment and not to harm anyone, if you feel
    that this is offensive, well then you might have to buy CLUE....
    
    VAR-  Value Added RElative
    
    This can pertain to someone who is working inside Digital and is
    related to you. The key here would be tha one of you would own stock
    whilst the other worked their bottom off to keep the stock up.  This
    also could refer to a relative who provides you with all kinds of money
    and other significant material items or services so you may enjoy your
    life to the fullest.
    
    OEM-  Other Employee Missing
    
    This refers to your Digital neighbor who  is not there when you return
    from vacation or a long lunch.  From which you inherit ADPC, which is
    A  Digital Personal Computer.  Which reminds you to ACK, always
    condsider knocking, before you walk into an office which could get you
    ADU, Another Decie Upset, and you could be ADL, A Dogone Looser.
    
    As for the remainder well this is what my creative and data dumping
    mind figured out.
    
    NOS=not our services  PC LAN= Please call, lost another node
    SQL=some quaint lane, ACMS=another customer meets salesrep (not on
    site)
    CCS=confused customer services, NOS=not our salesrep 
    TCP/IP= totally confused parnter/incomplete partner
    FPS=fourth party s#x
    FPA=found partners again, CNS=customer not signing,IPX=imposter posing
    as xylaphone, AFP=a fake person,DOS=department of saftey,
    OSI=other significant individual,NT=not terminated, VMS=very mutually
    satisfying,RPL=recruiter plans leave, NVT=not very tolerant,CTERM=cost
    to erase rug marks, EMS=every moment stinks,HMA= her mother asks,
    APIs=another polite incident,NDIS=no dining inside
    sweetie,ISDN=ignorant singer drops note, SPD= soft p...s drop off,
    PCSNET= please clean sink next eating trip, NT= no time, XTI= xylaphone
    tunes in, SCSI=some care some indifference,NCP= no calla policia,
    SCO UNIX=some call outsourcing until next internal
    xenophobic,AXP=another xenophic personality,IPX=internal personal
    xerographic, VAX=very active xradiation,NFS=not found sane, RAM=
    round and masculine, or isn;t that an animal?/
    
    Well I have no further time for this and my remaining buddies,
    especialy in ElkGrove will keep me informed on how this is moving
    along.
      hope you keep this related to Digital and not other acronyms because
    next time you mention  DNA= Digital Not Allowed or are they refering to
    the simpson case, you will have a smile on your face.
    
    
    Enjoy life..........
    
    EMC2

PCMCIA = People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

    PCMCIA = Poor Customers Mostly Choose Incompatible Adaptors

    You Can't Do Business Sittin' On Your Ass
    
    (This acronym was printed on a handkerchief I once had)
    

    FUBAR - Fouled Up Beyond All Repair
    SNAFU - Situation Normal, All Fouled Up
    
    Edit as you see fit.

    
    IBM - Incomming Board Member
    
    

    Ta Dah!
    
    The Association of Delightfully Alive Humans
    
    ;^)

    
    	And finally, my favorite - TTFN.
    
    	Ta Ta For Now.
    
    		
    		the Greyhawk

    StOp iT!
    
    First they guy with the CapiTalS and the frEshman inGlish teRm
    papa vocab....
    
    
    and now you quote Tigger?
    
    
    Leave Milne out of this!

Acronyms
Resist
Sensible
Enumeration

    I did a paper once, inventing names and acronyms as I went along.
    The prof wrote that I should have UNA'd.
    
    ed

    oh,
    
    Use No Abbreviations  :-)
    
    ed

    A nyone
    C an
    R uin
    O ur
    N umbers,
    Y ou're
    M ostly
    S upurfluous
    

Thanks peeps, I needed the giggles today.

BTW, did you know that STRESSED spelt backwards is DESSERTS? :)

And so's I don't get ratholed for putting anagrams in the acronym topic,

IBM - Intercourse Beats M*****bation.

    
    TFSO --> The Final Software Organization

    ... BANANA (build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything)

>>>>    IBM - Intercourse Beats M*****bation.

IBM - Intercourse Before M*****bation.

      Idiots Becomes Managers......

SABENA: Such A Bloody Experience Never Again

    
    	I.B.M. = It's Being Mended
    
    	That's what I heard, anyway.
    
    				Malcolm.

    What about this one:
    
    I.B.M. = Into being molested....
    
    Paul

    Itty Bitty Machine Co.
    
    ed

    
    
    what about 
    
    
    	I    Build       M-pires!!!!
    
    p/t
    

    I've Been Mugged

I think we've had enough for this topic...

			Steve