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Conference 7.286::digital

Title:The Digital way of working
Moderator:QUARK::LIONELON
Created:Fri Feb 14 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5321
Total number of notes:139771

2932.0. "New book about IBM" by CHEFS::HEELAN (Dale limosna, mujer......) Fri Mar 11 1994 08:43

    "International Business Machines in its heyday believed it was better
    than anybody at anything.   Challenged to a boar race by Oxford
    University, its UK subsidiary trained with characteristic thoroughness
    and lost convincingly.   Chastened but determined it took on the weaker
    Cambridge crew and lost again.   Detailed analysis commissioned by IBM
    Europe uncovered the reason:  while the two universities used one cox
    and eight oarsmen, IBM had one man rowing and eight steering.   Armonk,
    IBM's corporate headquarters, studied the report and issued its
    solution: 'Change the rower'".
    
    "With the death of IBM in February, the torch has passed not only to
    its new leaders, but to others in many other companies"
    
    "(Robert Heller) identifies seven suspects (for IBM's poor performance):
    			*technological change
    			*the company's idiosyncratic culture
    			*customer preferences
    			*changing markets
    			*suppliers turned competitors
    			*globalisation
    			*management faults"
    
    {copied w/o permission from London Financial Times Book Review of "The
    Fate of IBM" by Robert Heller}
    
    
    Symptoms seem familiar !
    
    John
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2932.1Blooper !CHEFS::HEELANDale limosna, mujer......Fri Mar 11 1994 08:447
    re .0
    
    Oooops !!!    "boar" ="boat" (although the concept of a boar race has
    some attractions :-))
    
    John
    
2932.2 And to think that we are taking more of their managers! SUBURB::POWELLMNostalgia isn't what it used to be!Fri Mar 11 1994 10:221
    
2932.3industry-standard joke (OpenJoke)MU::PORTERi have a nameFri Mar 11 1994 12:262
Heard it before, about DEC.  Except that the middle bit ("Detailed analysis...")
was phrased along the lines of "A task force was formed...".
2932.4OpenJoke V1.a.2HIBOB::KRANTZNext window please.Fri Mar 11 1994 13:287
Another missing part of the middle of the usual joke is the first report from
the task force "the oarsman has to work harder"

There was a TFSO variant, which ends with the oarsman getting the package,
but I can't remember how it goes...

	Joe
2932.5Surprise ! Surprise !CHEFS::HEELANDale limosna, mujer......Fri Mar 11 1994 17:199
    re last two
    
    Reeeeeaaaalllyyyyyy !
    
    How about the symptoms ? Are they an industry-standard joke as well ?
    
    :-))
    
    John
2932.6ICS::DONNELLANSun Mar 13 1994 02:523
    I've contacted several local bookstores (Boston) and none of them had
    it listed.  Anyone know where to get it, short of a trip to London?
    
2932.7ATYISB::HILLDon't worry, we have a cunning plan!Mon Mar 14 1994 06:133
    John
    
    	The other ommission is the 'woods meeting'
2932.8More infoCHEFS::HEELANDale limosna, mujer......Mon Mar 14 1994 06:5815
2932.9Another version of the storyATYISB::HILLDon't worry, we have a cunning plan!Mon Mar 14 1994 07:3338
                               A Modern Parable
         
         Once upon a time, the XYZ Corp. and the ABC Corp. decided to 
         have a competitive boat race on a well known river.  Both 
         teams practised long and hard to reach their peak perform-
         ance.  On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.  
         ABC Corp. won by a mile.
         
         Afterwards the XYZ Corp. team became very discouraged by the 
         loss and morale sagged.  Senior Management decided that the 
         reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, and a project 
         team was set up at to investigate the problem and recommend 
         appropriate action.
         
         After a lot of brainstorming and a 'woods' meeting they 
         reached a conclusion: the problem was that the ABC Corp. team 
         had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereas the 
         XYZ Corp. had one person rowing and eight people steering.
         
         Senior Management immediately hired a consultancy company to 
         do a study on the team's structure.  Millions of dollars and 
         several months later they concluded that: too many people 
         were steering and not enough rowing.
         
         To prevent losing to the ABC Corp. next year, the team struc-
         ture was changed to four "steering managers", three "senior 
         steering managers" and one "executive steering manager".  A 
         pay-for-performance system was set up to give the person 
         rowing the boat more incentive to work harder and become a 
         key performer.  "We must give him empowerment and job 
         enrichment.  This ought to do it."
         
         The next year ABC Corp. won by two miles.  The XYZ Corp. laid 
         off the rower for poor performance, sold off all the paddles, 
         cancelled all capital investment for new equipment and halted 
         development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards 
         to the consultants, recruited one of the consultant partners 
         and distributed the money saved to senior management.
2932.10PLAYER::BROWNLWhat goal-posts?Mon Mar 14 1994 08:176
    When I saw the "imagine (tm)" poster with the rowing crew, recollection
    of this story made me smile. It is an industry standard "joke", and not
    a terribly good choice for an advert, methinks. Still, full marks for
    audacity!
    
    Laurie.
2932.11REGENT::BLOCHERTue Mar 15 1994 20:341
    Shoulda painted the boat a different color!
2932.12Fully in the spirit of the inspired .11:DRDAN::KALIKOWIDU: To Protect and to Serve InfoWed Mar 16 1994 01:442
    ... and rounded the corners of the oars!