Conference 7.286::digital

    >I heard a rumor from someone at MLO saying that Digital was not going
    >to be giving out turkeys this year.
    
    
    OMI'GOD !!
    
    say it aint true! please !
    
    i was looking forward to getting my turkey this year :(
    
    \nasser
    
    

Nasser,
Its much worse, they wont be stuffed either! :^)

    
    
    No rumor, there are no birds this year. This message went around that
    last year was the last year for them.
    
    Mary
    

    What the heck..Thanksgiving seems like any other day around here,
    Just the other day some turkey gave me the bird!!

    To make a long story short, the field _read_anywhere_other_than_GMA
    has been getting "the bird" for last couple of years; only those in
    GMA got turkeys.
    
    

         Lisa-
         While I'm as sorry as anyone to hear this, there are lots o'
    geese here in MKO Land. Friends up north swear the meat's better than
    turkey. Anyone care to verify this. (Smile)
    
                                                  Peace,
                                                  -RAM-

    Correct ... no more turkeys. We detonated all of them last year.
    
    /se
    

    i just love all this turkey talk.

    it means the holidays are near !

    happy holidays every one and merry x-mass and prosperous new year !

    \nasser

    This subject was mentioned in other notes but I don't recall reading
    any official statement from the person in charge.  

    >This subject was mentioned in other notes but I don't recall reading
    >any official statement from the person in charge.  
                            ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    you mean in charge of turkeys ?

    humm...a VP a'la'turkey ?

    \nasser
    

    JUST KIDDING ! 

    been a long day :(

    
    Karen, 
    
    	Does the ATD stand for Automated Turkey Developer? :-0
    
    Sorry could not resist!

Re:<<< Note 2648.6 by TOHOPE::REESE_K "Three Fries Short of a Happy Meal" >>>

>    To make a long story short, the field _read_anywhere_other_than_GMA
>    has been getting "the bird" for last couple of years; only those in
>    GMA got turkeys.
    
Since when has Colorado Springs become part of the GMA?  We received turkeys up 
to and including last year.

You just have to be in the right part of anywhere_other_than_GMA...  :-)

-  David

    YES... and we ( in Colorado) continue to get the bird, to this day..!
    
    8^)....8^)....8^)....
    

Four years ago - due to finding out how unequitable the giving out of 
Turkey's were (GMA Only) - previous to this I was naive and had no idea
this was going on! I decided to "donate" (MY CHOICE - not Digital's) my 
Turkey to a shelter in my local area.  When I dropped it off the first year
I was shocked to find out that even though this shelter was very close to
a Digital facility (who supposedly donates the unclaimed turkey's amoung
local shelters) they had NEVER been given even one turkey.  It made me wonder
just where do these unclaimed "donation" turkeys really go - my guess is I
really didn't want to know.  

The second year people I work with when they found out that I was donating my
turkey to a local shelter a few asked if I would take their's too, Total: 4.  
The year after those that are vegetarians added their turkeys, Total: 6.  

Last year I brought 9 turkey's to the shelter, you can imagine how many 
homeless people they fed.  When I drove up to the shelter 
last year and went in to ask for some help unloading the car I felt better
than I have in years and the staff even sent a beautiful letter to my home
which made me feel guilty that I hadn't done more.  

This year I will still make my trip to the shelter - maybe with a few less
turkeys - I don't think I will be able to afford 10 turkeys - but I'll 
do what I can.  Once you see people in need you can't ever turn your face
away again. No one deserves to go hungry or cold.  Last year this homeless 
shelter fed 1,500 people for Thanksgiving - some of you might think it
is located in Boston (insert a name of any big city here)- but it's not - it's
located a little more closer to home.

    
    I have also wondered where those "donated" turkeys go. For the last 2
    years, I have applied to Digital here in MRO (cannot remember the name
    right now of the org) on behalf of a food bank I volunteer for, to get
    turkeys for those we help. On both occasions, we were given turkeys,
    abeit a small number this past year because of a decline in donations
    and/or employee population. The food banks applying seem to be
    numerous, so Digital cannot accomodate all needs 100%. But I believe
    that it is the food bank's responsibility to apply. In both instances
    of giving, The Digital org treated me very professionally. They do
    make a serious effort in reaching out to community needs, in this case
    where they had extra turkeys. Giving individually is another way to do
    it, as has been the case in our food bank from other digital employees.

    Lets talk turkey
    
    Not to "hen peck" this issue but I still have two turkeys in suspended
    animation from last year (my husband works here too).  What I would 
    prefer is a small "nest egg" of say $10 instead of the turkey.  If
    anything like this "hatches" I would like to be kept "abreast".
    
    sue
    

    Ken,
    
    Close.....ATD = AUTHORIZED Turkey Distributor, meaning \nasser's'
    got to authorize us (since it was his idea to start up a business)
    ;-0
    
    Karen
    

    Whether you got vouchers in Canada, or real turkeys depended on where
    you work ... the Ottawa area got turkeys.
    
    But the cost of the turkeys in terms of directly saving jobs is not
    the issue.  Cutting turkeys is to reduce direct expenses.  Cutting jobs
    is (supposedly) to eleiminate unnecessary and redundant work in the
    name of efficiency and satisfying that mythical Revenue/Employee that
    Wall Street analysts seem to love.
    
    Cutting the turkeys will not save a single job in and of itself.  It
    will help the comany make a profit though ... which will ease the
    pressure on cutting the workforce, but not unless revenues increase
    too.
    
    Stuart

re: .6

>    ... only those in GMA got turkeys.

Actually, this isn't true.  Here in Dallas, for the 1st time ever in my 
experience in the field since 1980, we got turkeys.  But I believe it was
a special promotion with a nearby PACE warehouse that had just opened (and 
has since closed since SAMS acquired them).  But, it was ironic to actually
get the bird in light of all the discussions here on the matter.

    What's new...I haven't recieved a Holiday Turkey in years!
    I used to get them every year in manufacturing sites, but since I'm in
    "the field", they are a deal of the past......
                                       
    8^(

    X'mas '91, Digital gave me a mug.  [no wise-cracks thank you!]
    X'mas '92, a framed photograph of the all staff at the office [now a
    pertinent reminder of who's gone and who's left]
    X'mas '93, I'm hoping to keep my job.  
    
    I'd love to give the office turkey away, but who'd have him?  :)
    
    joyce

    Just started reading this topic, and why did I expect nasser's to be
    the very first reply to the base note? :-)
    
    ---Gavin

    RAM: do you think the security folk's at MKO would get too riled up if
    some of us brought in some .410's or .22's and had a goose-thinning
    party :-)  (I know, no firearms, explosives or water UZI's. please, 
    on company property)...
    
    I also hear they're good eatin'. easpecially that one odd-looking
    big-bellied gray and white goose wwith the orange bill and legs...
    
    

    Well, it's already the 15th of December.  Any word of turkeys this
    year?  Lots of folks are taking time off in the next couple of weeks.
    Wonder what will happen to their turkeys, if they are distributed next
    week.

    We got word weeks ago in Salem. No turkeys this year.
    
    		Alfred

    Obligatory whines, whatever; I'm amazed that there are still
    people in the GMA who actually thought/assumed they WOULD get
    a turkey this year!
    
    

    Seems to me that with no turkeys and being encouraged to take 
    unpaid time off, the Christmas message from on high is clear ...  
                                   
                                 'Tis better to give than receive!
    ;^)
    
    Steve

    	Well, I heard a rumor that they needed all the turkey money to
    scrape up a $3M Christmas bonus for the boss this year.

                         
	I thought Digital just hired a new Vice-President....

    	I work in Hudson MA plant and I don't remember seeing any memos
    that said there wouldn't be any turkeys.  If they where coming though
    we would have had them last week.  I know they have to cut costs but
    when they do away with a benefit I think they could at least make it
    official and not leave it to the grape vine to get the word out.

    Joe

    >     I work in Hudson MA plant and I don't remember seeing any memos
    >    that said there wouldn't be any turkeys. 

    i agree with \Joe, i dont work in Hudson masssussteuest my self, i work
    in Nashua new hamshire, and i did not see an official works about the
    turkeys, but i got private mail about 4 weeks ago from some
    insiders and in high places who should know more than any one about
    the turkeys and the mail did confirm that there will be none this year.

    i can't post it the mail here because i did not have permission to
    post the mail, and the mail did not say it is OK to post, but take
    my word for it, there are no turkeys this year, we just have to learn
    to live without turkeys from now on i guess.

    plus if we were going to get them, we should have received them by now,
    it takes days to thaw it, and xmass is all but around the corner.

    i did not think I'll live to see DEC without turkeys, it just dont
    feel like DEC any more. one of the first impressions i remember about DEC 
    when i came abraod more than 4 years ago, is the turkeys at the holiday, 
    befor than i did not know anything about them, i only seen them in the 
    store and the shopping malls and never thought of getting one.

    i hope next xmass DEC well bring the turkeys back. we can only hope.

    \nasser

    You guys are spoiled.  Go out and buy a turkey this year like 98% of
    the rest of the company.

      I've known that the company had discontinued the holiday turkeys 
      for a long time ... so long that it was either in the rumor mill 
      most of the year or really was in one of the multitudes of 
      official memos (with huge distribution lists attached) that come 
      across the wire.  Maybe it was the same source that announced the 
      end of the Canobie Lake picnics.

      Discontinuing these practices is necessary and is sad.  I know 
      what Nassar means ... the gift turkeys were one of the things 
      that gave the company a special sense of family.  The tradition 
      is gone and missed ... but, we're still here.  If the sense of 
      who we are as a company ... as colleagues trying to make a 
      difference in the world ... was tied to the turkeys, we're better 
      off without them.  If the sense of who we are is in us, it will 
      never go away.

      Happy Holidays and a very special New Year to everybody.

      Terry

    
    	re.-.33 Even \nasser may find it hard to fly with birds of prey
    	if you must work amongst everyones Holiday birds.
    
    	re.-.36 So spoil me some more, I'm worth it...I thought..but 
    		..maybe... (%^) ..I will have Ham for X-mas dinner after
    		all. .99 /lb ,Boneless Whole Ham.....eat your heart out
    		\nasser.
    
    		WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY HOLIDAY;WITH PEACE AND LOVE
    				FOR YOU AND YOURS.
    
    				    Pablo
    

    
                TURKEYS? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKEN TURKEYS! 8-) 8-)

    We still receive Turkeys ....although they seem smaller this year 8^)
    
    Andrew

    re:-1
    
    DEC official policy is "no more turkeys" given by corporate. I suspect
    that any turkeys given to employees are paid for out of some local
    fund. Like maybe the money given to a CC for Christmas parties (they
    still do that,don't they?) I know this sum is paltry ($5/employee?) but
    maybe the excess is made up in some way by local management. (their own
    pockets?) Then again,maybe everybody gets a $5 turkey which would
    explain why they seem small.
    
    Ken

    >fund. Like maybe the money given to a CC for Christmas parties (they
    >still do that,don't they?) I know this sum is paltry ($5/employee?) but
    
    Huh? A couple of us had lunch together "dutch-treat". Cost us about $10
    each.
    

    Just out of curiosity: When did DEC abandon the measly sum per employee
    for Christmas parties? anyone?
    
    Ken

    I read a local (New England) news story about functions at different
    companies, many still give turkeys to their employees.  The Digital
    response to the newsperson was that we are so multicultural, Digital
    does not observe Christmas, but some facilities may have
    employee-sponsored functions during the holidays.
    
    Mark

    
    
    Was ther really $$$ issued for a holiday get-together?
    
    
    
    Mike

    >Was there really $$$ issued for a holiday get-together?
    
        Not in any cost center I was associated with.
        
        					andrew

    Not in two different "divisions" that I've been with in New England
    (transferred & changed job codes earlier in December).
    
    There have been some extra-curricular, employee-paid parties (the one
    in the group I left collapsed from insufficient interest!)
    
    Dick

    ref: value of turkeys

    i had turkey dinner at denny's restaurant for only $5.95 with the
    stuffings, not a bad price i thought. but if you ask me, i think
    nothing beats the DEC turkeys.

    \nasser
    head_of_DECeees_to_bring_the_turkeys_back_allience_group

    Yes,DEC used to give individual Districts x$/employee for Christmas
    parties. (a small sum) I was just wondering when it stopped. 
    
    Ken

    I think it stopped in 1992.
    
    Bob

Away from major DEC-centers (New England, maybe Colorado Springs?),
(read the field), employees NEVER got turkeys.  ever.  Not even in
"the good old days".

What we DID get was approximately the same value/employee put into a pool
which each local organization could use as they saw fit.  Most seemed
to use it to subsidize holiday parties (sans alcohol, of course...)

I would guess that that money dried up at the same time as the turkeys did...

Kevin

    In Kalamazoo *(field)* we got turkeys one year.
    
    Dave KZO from 1984-1987
    
    

	In Greenville, S.C., (definately NOT a major DECcenter) we had turkeys
every one of the 8 years I worked there.

Tracey 

Each of the fours years (including this past one) here in Rochester, NY we 
received either a gift certificate for $10.00 or a turkey (as we did this past 
year). The money comes from the local Employee Activities fund that 
I think is supported by local fund-raising events and profits from the vending
machines, etc.

Jim

Here in Livermore, Ca, we received a $10.00 gift certificate in July;
It was for the previous Christmas.

John D.

    They already have.
    
    	Steve

    I have seen many turkeys (big ones!) over the last couple of years
    hasn't any one else seen them.  

    When will they leave is the question.
    
    Seriously, the free frozen turkey distribution is over.  And no,
    "frozen turkey" doesn't indicate one of us peons who is staying
    on despite the salary freeze!
    
    	Enjoy,
    	Larry
    
    PS -- Please, no comments on the vulgarity of humor!  It's what
    keeps us human through situations like this.  LS

    
        The big turkeys are still unfrozen, goobling up feed and 
        feathering nests.
    
        Wrong note for acronyms, but:
    
            VP  -   Value-subtracted Poultry
            What does T in SLT stand for?
    
        Cheers
    

    (scarecrow, lion, & ) Tinman

    Re.61
    
    	the T = Turkey as in Super Large Turkey ?
    

    or Sales Limitation Turkeys

    	Now that the company has turned the corner, stock price tripled
    over the last 18 months, money and new VPs rolling in to beat the band,
    I think it's about time to revive the turkey note. What better way for
    the top brass to show their appreciation, to reward the worker bees for
    a job well done than to bring back the big turkey giveaway! C'mon, Bob,
    give us all the bird!

    >Now that the company has turned the corner, stock price tripled
    >over the last 18 months...
    
    Unfortunately, the stock price has dropped over 10% since Wednesday,
    so it looks like the turnaround is over.
    
    In addition, it looks like Digital is already giving the bird to parts
    of the company (DLS, for example).

Re .65

How about throwing frozen turkeys at those who made the company 
successful by leaving? Bring back the DEC helicopter fleet, load 'em up
with 6Kg birds, and go deliverin'.

k

    .67 :-)  WKRP-style, I love it!
    
    But hey, Christmas turkeys = old DEC.  Let's not bring back that
    tradition.
    
    Mark

    
    	How 'bout throwing frozen VPs from that helicopter?
    
    
    		the Greyhawk

re.67

>How about throwing frozen turkeys at those who made the company 
>successful by leaving? Bring back the DEC helicopter fleet, load 'em up
>with 6Kg birds, and go deliverin'.

    Wasn't that an episode on the original "WKRP in Cincinatti" series?

    
    
    I miss /nasser more at Chritmas ...
    
    ... nobody could put a Turkey note into perspective like him.

    Why should we revive a New England-only tradition?
    
    Bob

    Right!  Let's start a new, world-wide "drop the VPs from a helicopter"
    tradition.  It'd be a real morale booster.

    re: .72
    
    Personally I'd rather go back to the non-New England tradition of a $25
    gift certificate to a local grocery store.

    Do we get to vote on the VP(s) to be dropped or do we pull names
    out of a hat.

    Skip the turkeys, I want a corporate profit sharing plan.

    Why?  so you can dole out some money?
    
    :)

    No, so we can enjoy competitive benefits.  Turkeys were, are, and 
    always will be a 'joke' perk.

    Re the WKRP episode:
    
    They weren't frozen.  Mr. Carlson thought domestic turkeys could fly.
    
    
    							John

>    re: Note 2648.79 by LOWELL::MIDDLETON "John"
>
>    They weren't frozen.  Mr. Carlson thought domestic turkeys could fly.
    
    
I thought it was Les and/or Herb that thought the turkeys could fly.
    
-Bruce

    Les was on the ground reporting on the whole thing (I think he was the
    one screaming "Fly!  Fly!" or some such thing and sounding a bit like
    the reporter who was on the scene at the Hindenberg disaster), but I'm
    pretty sure it was Mr. Carlson in the chopper and that he later said
    something like "Honestly, I thought they could fly."
    
    
    								John

    
     No turkeys this year. Read on.....
     jc
    
    
     Author Unknown  
    
     SUBJECT: MEMO from SANTA 
          TO: ALL Employees


     The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to
     take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good
     deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about
     other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

     Streamling was appropriate in view of the reality that the North
     Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. 
     Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished
     Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit
     further erosion of the profit picture.

     The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a
     late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip.  Improved
     productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard
     Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with
     no discernible loss of service.  Reduction in reindeer will also
     lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole
     has been cited and received unfavorable press.

     I am pleased to inform you and yours that Rudolph's role will not
     be disturbed.  Tradition still counts for something at the North
     Pole. Management denies, in the strongest possible language, the
     earlier leak that Rudolph's nose got that way not from the cold,
     but from substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the
     sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate
     comment, made by one of Santa's helpers and taken out of context at
     a time of year when he is known to be under executive stress.

     As a further restructuring, today's global challenges require the
     North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. 
     Effective immediately , the following economy measures are to take
     place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

     - The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned
     out to be the cash crop forecasted.  It will be replaced by a
     plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in
     maintenance;

     - The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not
     cost effective.  In addition, their romance during working hours
     could not be condoned.  The positions are therefore eliminated;

     - The three French hens will remain intact.  After all, everyone
     loves the French;

     - The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail
     system, with a call waiting option.  An analysis is underway to
     determine who the birds have been calling, how often, and how long
     they talked;

     - The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of
     Directors.  Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could
     have negative implications for institutional investors. 
     Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of
     T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order;

     - The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be
     afforded.  It has long been felt that the production rate of one
     egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. 
     Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection
     procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on
     every goose it gets will be a good one;

     - The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better
     times.  The function is primarily decorative.  Mechanical swans are
     on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new
     strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement;

     - As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under
     heavy scrutiny by the EEOC.  A male/female balance in the workforce
     is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end
     job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit
     the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching;

     - Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number.  This function
     will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no
     longer do the steps;

     - Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill.  The high cost of Lords plus the
     expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation
     Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work
     congressmen.  While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the
     savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of
     unemployed congressmen this year;

     - Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple
     case of the band getting too big.  A substitution with a string
     quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce
     savings which will drop right down to the bottom line;

     We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl,
     animals and other expenses.  Though incomplete, studies indicate
     that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.  If we
     can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

     Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking
     expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen
     lawyers-a-suing") - action is pending.

     Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be
     necessary in the future to stay competitive.  Should that happen,
     the Board will request management to scruntinize the Snow White
     Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

     Questions should be directed to me.

     (Signed)  S. Claus
    

    Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
    90 days, same as cash, have a Happy Holiday!

I liked that Joe..

In other Holiday restructuring news.......

Rumor has it that Everready is becoming corporate
sponser for Easter.  The Easter Bunny will be made
redundant and the Energizer Bunny will assume the
responsibilities (with no increase in compensation of course)

    re .78  Turkeys as "joke".
    
    Yeah, maybe it's a joke in terms of compensation, but I always thought
    it was a great "feel good" perk. I suppose for a vegetarian or someone
    with other preferences it was diminished; but I liked it.
    
    a) Having senior management types at the door greeting employees with
       turkeys and without actually saying it - I thought thanking them for
       their efforts in meeting production schedules (extra hours, creative
       solutions etc).
    b) Not having to add $20 or $30 to the grocery money this week.
    c) When I was younger I would take it to my mother's to be cooked for
       Christmas (or sometimes New Years) dinner; and that turkey made her
       feel good too. Sure, I could have gone out and bought one but it
       seemed kind of special that my employer cared about family values.
    
    Granted, if they offered me a choice of a crisp $100 bill there would
    be very little hesitation! 8^)
    
    Rob Wall
                                                                        
    

    How come the IRS never made Digital list the value of the frozen
    turkeys on our taxes as compensation?
    
    				-John

Probably because the value was low enough.

			Steve

    In the UK they gave out vouchers valid at a major high street food
    shop, worth about one turkey, and they _were_ declared for tax
    purposes. The custom is no longer practiced.

    re .87: Probably because the assets were frozen.
    
    ;-)
    

    Had to quit cold Turkey.
    

	I thought the assets were gobbled up.

							mike

>     <<< Note 2648.89 by BHAJEE::JAERVINEN "Ora, the Old Rural Amateur" >>>
>
>    re .87: Probably because the assets were frozen.
>    
    
    Rats; using up accrued vacation time slows down your notes reflexes;
    I was about to say that...

    re: .74
    
    We seemed to have missed out on that tradition, too.
    
    Bob