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Conference waylay::singles_chat

Title:A place for gabby single folk
Moderator:PCBUOA::DEWITT
Created:Thu Jan 09 1997
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:69
Total number of notes:5349

60.0. "Looking..." by WAYLAY::GORDON (Resident Lightning Designer) Thu Mar 27 1997 16:49

	Since we've sort of touched on this topic in the embarrassment topic
I thought it might generate some honest discussion.  

	Do you look?

	From the other side, do you mind if people look?  Does it make a
difference if the "look" is more of a "leer"?


	Speaking strictly for myself, I look.  I'm single and I like looking
at women.  (If they trip over their dress and I get to see a bit more, well
I don't mind that either.)  I try not to be rude about it.  I particularly like
to look at interesting women - not always beautiful or pretty by my standards
but they catch my eye.  

	And if all the women try to tell me they never look, I'm not buying
it. ;-)

					--Doug
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60.1CSLALL::JACQUES_CACrazy ways are evidentThu Mar 27 1997 16:594
    Oh yeah, I look!  But not so you'd see.  Generally they're
    facing the other way ;->
    
    						cj *->
60.2PCBUOA::DEWITTcharm the stars - hypnotize the moon...Thu Mar 27 1997 17:0312
    	Do I look yes, do I stare at a man's zipper - no. 
    
    	Do I mind being looked at, no.  It makes a big difference if its a
    leer.  
    
    	If someone catches a glimps of cleavage - oh well - if he's 
    cranking his neck to see - that's a horse of a different color.
    
    	It also matters how well I know the person.
    
    joyce
    
60.3PCBUOA::DEWITTcharm the stars - hypnotize the moon...Thu Mar 27 1997 17:045
    	Missed one...
    
        I'm with cj - I've been known to stare when they're walking away...
    
    joyce
60.4ORION::KENYONif I had a spell of magic...Thu Mar 27 1997 17:1115
    
    I look...  I even get caught.. (-;  
    
    but that is what makes life interesting...  
    
    I do hate when men do the "boob stare"...  I would fail the "pencil
    test"... (-;   if I notice I'm talking to someone and they are talking
    to my chest, then I start shrinking down a few inches and then standing
    up straight and I watch there eyes go up and down.. and if I really
    want to get 'em, I sit down really quick and give 'em whiplash.. 
    
    (-;
    
    

60.5Yup, I do.WMOIS::WHITE_CThu Mar 27 1997 17:226
    
    I think all men look. Probably most women too. I think its normal,
    and should not be thought of as a bad thing. I guess too much, like
    stareing can be considered rude.
    
    Chris (the infrequent noter :^))
60.6BUSY::SLABFUBARThu Mar 27 1997 17:235
    
    	Drooling and bug-eyed facial expressions are definitely a no-no.
    
    	That is, until they've walked past you.
    
60.7PCBUOA::DEWITTcharm the stars - hypnotize the moon...Thu Mar 27 1997 17:364
    	 re. 6   Shawn you are too much - but you keep me *laughing*...
    
    
    joyce
60.8AXEL::FOLEYhttp://axel.zko.dec.comThu Mar 27 1997 18:459

	I look. All the time.. I figure that's why God made
	beautiful women and gave me eyes (and an optometrist to 
	fix them) to look with.

						mike
				who just came back from looking in the
				cafe
60.9biggest responcesWRKSYS::HARRYThu Mar 27 1997 19:369
Oh CJ,

	How does it figure you get the biggest responces from your
notes. Let me say on a missed point, congratulations on fitting
your old clothes. Once a babe always a babe..... Can not wait
to play gain...But lets be fair, you can not wear that dress.
You would get to many points just for that....

					Harry
60.10WMOIS::WHITE_CThu Mar 27 1997 19:517
    
     How does it figure she gets the biggest responces..? You answered it !
    
     Shes a babe...(although I've never seen her, thats my guess from
    they way people talk in here ;^))
    
     Chris
60.11DANGER::ASKETHBeware of Greeks bearing gifts...Thu Mar 27 1997 19:5713
OK, ok, guess I'll pipe in...

Yeah, I look...

And based on some of the costumes I've worn on stage I guess I can't really
say I mind being looked at.  ;-)  (Hmmm, hey Shawn!  That enough bait to get 
you to come to my show???  ;-P  )  (No, not THAT kind of stage!)  

But, I'm with the others, being leered at or having someone talk to your chest
is a whole nother story...

B

60.12JARETH::LARUau contraire...Thu Mar 27 1997 20:103
    can I just whisper a little?
    
    /b
60.13My experiences...BOOKIE::CLOUTIERThu Mar 27 1997 22:2934
    I live in an apartment complex with a fairly decent fitness center.
    Almost every night I'm in there for an hour working out on the 
    treadmill and stairmaster. Three walls of the fitness center have
    glass walls that look out into the hallway, desk administration area,
    and indoor pool. 
    
    I find it amazing how brazen some guys are in the way they not only
    look, but STARE at women walking by on their way in to work out in
    the fitnesss center or worse, with women on their way into the pool
    area. Even on a populated night with both women and men sprawled
    all over the fitness center, a few of the guys will just park 
    themselves in front of the glass and watch as women walk up one
    hall and then go into the pool area or the fitness area. It's almost 
    uncomfortable to watch. The least they could do would be to practice 
    some degree of subtlety. But nope. Hands on hips, eyes trained on the 
    bogies like targeting lasers, body perfectly still.                                          
    
    I generally watch the women in the fitness center looking at the
    men who are leering at the women through the glass. Lots of 
    disgusting looks. 
    
    I realize looking in and of itself is probably pretty normal, but
    there's probably some protocol that most men use to accomplish
    the mission without becoming obvious to everyone else. Maybe we've
    devolved to the point where most guys figure it doesn't matter. Or
    worse, maybe they figure there's some appeal to being brazen about it.
    If my limited research is any indication, the disgusted looks I see
    from women who see them shows that they've miscalculated.
    
    Then again, some of the outfits these women wear to work out beg
    for stares. There's not much left to the imagination.
    
    --Leo 
     
60.14prefer to keep eye contactWRKSYS::BROWERmmmmmm bananna chunksFri Mar 28 1997 10:5811
          I feel kind of flattered when I know I've been oggled. I;ve been
    told on at least a dozen occasions that I have great legs for a guy ;-) 
          For my part if I see someone of the opposite sex that's interesting 
    I may give a quick head to toe look at a distance.. When we're up close I 
    prefer to look them in the eye.. If we make eye contact I'll say hello or 
    nice day or...
          Like Kathleen said I prefer eye contact... If I'm talking to
    someone for the first time I feel safer keeping eye contact above the 
    shoulders. Eyes are the window to the soul....
    
    bob
60.15AXEL::FOLEYhttp://axel.zko.dec.comFri Mar 28 1997 13:1023
60.16CSLALL::JACQUES_CACrazy ways are evidentFri Mar 28 1997 13:198
    When I'm talking with someone that has difficulty "meeting my
    eye", I've been know to snap my fingers above my head and say,
    "Hello...I'm up here".  Not all the time, mind you, but it's 
    been pretty effective when used.  
    
    I tell you, though, some guys aren't really even aware they're
    doing it.  It's gets to be habit.  
    						cj *->
60.17EDWIN::WAUGAMANFri Mar 28 1997 13:236
    I'm into pretty faces more'n just about anything so I guess I don't
    have this "problem" too too badly.  Now about my foot fetish... ;-)
    
    glenn
    
60.18SALEM::DODAPacing the cageFri Mar 28 1997 13:332
Hey, me too. I'm a sucker for a pretty face. It's the first thing 
I notice.
60.19where to look.WRKSYS::HARRYFri Mar 28 1997 13:5310
If she is walking towards me.. I look at her face first, hopefully smiling back.

If she is walking away from me.. I look directly at her swing,,,,,,

How much do you ladies have to practice that as a young girl?

I was down in my basement last nite. This loud chattering noise started
coming from the heating system. Looks like I need to change a selenoid,

					Thanx CJ!!!!!!
60.20PCBUOA::DEWITTcharm the stars - hypnotize the moon...Fri Mar 28 1997 14:114
    
    	No practicing Harry either you have it or you don't...
    
    joyce
60.21CSLALL::JACQUES_CACrazy ways are evidentFri Mar 28 1997 14:174
    hmmmm.... Harry, let's clarify.... I have not been in your
    home!  Maybe I'm stronger than I thought????
    
    					cj *->
60.22Once when walking at MOOWRKSYS::BROWERmmmmmm bananna chunksFri Mar 28 1997 18:5710
        I remember walking out of MOO one day and a drop dead gorgeous
    woman was walking the other way. I really only gave a casual glance and
    wasn't foaming at the mouth or any such thing.. A guy I worked with saw
    me and said.. He who looks lustfully at another woman is commiting
    adultery in his mind.. I was kinda peeved because it was only a casual
    glance... I finally replied back that I felt that there was nothing
    wrong with casually admiring one of the handiworks of god. Exit stage
    right I didn't wish to get into a religous debate...
    
    bob
60.23ATLANT::SCHMIDTSee http://atlant2.zko.dec.com/Fri Mar 28 1997 21:098
Bob:

> A guy I worked with saw me and said.. He who looks lustfully
> at another woman is commiting adultery in his mind..

  Don't worry about it; he probably read that quote in "Playboy". :-)

                                   Atlant
60.24Leering and trolling are unacceptableTBC001::DROVERHEDGEHOGMon Mar 31 1997 14:5920
    Son, if the lookin's good.. get in some good lookin'
    
    seriously though....
    
    The human body is a wonderful thing in tasteful situations. But in the
    cases where people have to leer at others, well, it's sad.. get a
    life. If I want to leer and think evil lustful thoughts (me? never!),
    I'll go home.. I'm a long long way from getting tired of the view!
    
    I'll tell ya what really bugs me: people (for me, women) who dress in
    such a manner as to invite excessive stares or leers. I actually
    consider a pretty woman with a great body to be unattractive depending
    on how she presents herself. Some women I see and all I want to do is
    put a little red price tag on her forehead and a sign on her back that
    says "I'm a 5 cent tramp on a ten cent shelf" Forget Playboy.. I prefer
    Madonna's "Respect Yourself".
    
    I'm sure from the female point of view the same may be true for guys... 
    
    James
60.25just another admirerABACUS::MALSONTue Apr 08 1997 17:0533
    
    Funny, I just had a conversation with a girlfriend of mime (outside
    dec) and she kinda summed it up;- she was with a guy and this guy just
    "happen" to look at a petite blonde ski instructor and said " I think
    I need to take a lesson!"
    
    How did this make her feel?? "like I was kind of pushed aside till I
    was needed/wanted again"
    
    Although I'm sure men would not want to hurt our feelings, it does.
    When I'm with a man I give him my undivided attention and expect the
    same!  But if it is a group then that's a different story!
    
    Do I look?? yes, but- (no pun intended) I don't stare, nor look at
    their zipper!  I agree with bob and the eye contact and mike too!!
    
    I look at the smile and then the eyes- and how they carry themselves
    in public,
    
    And Leo, I can somewhat agree with the statement of the clothes that
    women wear BUT!!!! Men wear some really small outfits too!! and when
    the don't wear shirts- mama mia!!!! touche'
    
    
    Men, subtle eye contact is very sexy, especially when you are caught
    and smile ever so slightly.  and yes I can blush on queque!!!
    
    
    carol
    
    
    
    
60.26SALEM::DODAIf I were to ask, which I'm not...Tue Apr 08 1997 17:109
                      <<< Note 60.25 by ABACUS::MALSON >>>
                           -< just another admirer >-

    
   > Funny, I just had a conversation with a girlfriend of mime

    I hope it's a comfortable silence.

    daryll
60.27BUSY::SLABConsume feces and expireTue Apr 08 1997 17:254
    
    	If she's rich and owns a liquor store, I'd love to get her phone
    	number.
    
60.28BUSY::SLABConsume feces and expireTue Apr 08 1997 17:263
    
    	Reminds me of the Weird Al song, "She Never Told Me She was a Mime".
    
60.29Ladies and Gentlemen never let off color comments slideWRKSYS::BROWERmmmmmm bananna chunksTue Apr 08 1997 17:3213
         Carol,,
    
      I can somewhat relate to the way your girlfriend felt.. Only it was
    during my "D" when my former brought up certain things I'd said.. It
    really shocked me because I'm a bit of a kidder and things I'd said in
    jest were taken seriously... Live and learn... I'm still a bit of a
    clown at times but have realized I need to choose my words more
    carefully when talking with women... As an addition if the guy woman
    your with says something like that counter quickly with "Do you really
    mean that?" and nip it in the bud quickly as stepping over the line..
    
    
    bb