Conference waylay::singles_chat

    Gee, speaking of red faces...perhaps Ron has a story to
    tell???
    					cj *->

          Once while working at Sears... Had a mower on the lift and our
    radio was playing the Edgar Winter Bands Frankenstein... Love a good
    instrumental so I cranked it up and was dancing and drumming on the
    mower with a screwdriver... I haven't the slightest idea how long the
    two customers stood there and watched ;-) Both of their jaws were wide
    open as they watched me make a fool outa myself...
    
    bob

    ref .1:    
    
    Hey CJ??   :-P   carefull, remember just WHO gave ya all those points!!
    
    Oh, ok, now that I'm here I'll tell a story.
    
    Many years ago I was painting a (previous) house of mine. It was 
    a split level, you know, the kind that has the overhang in the front.
    Well, I needed to paint about 6 feet above the overhang.  My large
    extension ladder was really too long for that short height but my 
    step ladder was too short. Sooooo, I used the extension ladder and
    kicked the bottom way out so the ladder was at quite an angle.
    
    There I am at the top of the ladder with a full bucket of paint,
    just painting along when the friggin ladder starts to slide down the
    side of the house, ONE CLAPBOARD at a time...chachung, chachung....
    SOOO, I'm attempting to hold onto the house while I'm sliding (on 
    freshly painted clapboards mind you).  The whole thing seem like 
    slow motion till the ladder got to (YOU GUESSED IT) the OVERHANG!!!!
    SLAM, BAM, BOOM...CRASH....me, ladder and gallon of paint come
    crashing down into the bushes.  There I'm laying in the bushes with
    yellow paint everywhere.  Quickly jump up to make sure NO ONE saw it.
    Fortunately, my pride was hurt more than anything else.
    
    Haven't shared this with many, so consider yourselves priviledged.
    
    : - )
    
    Ron
                                                                        

    oh-- thank you Ron! That really made my day sooooo much better...
    
    
    	I'm still laughing....
    
    
    J

    re: .3 by PCBUOA::DESHARNAIS
    
    >> Quickly jump up to make sure NO ONE saw it.
    
    I love it!!!  I can just picture it, too!  You're ok, Ron.
    
    >> Haven't shared this with many, so consider yourselves priviledged.
    
    Eh... putting that in here is just like going on CNN.  ;-)
    
    /Bill

    :-)   film at 11

    Hmmmm...this story is probably not that uncommon.

    A old buddy comes up to my place to visit.  I'm going to show him a good
    fishing time at a nearby lake.  He comes up Friday night...of course, we
    go out drinking and stay up late gaming (...men can be so s...).  We
    drag ourselves out of our respective beds at 5 AM Saturday
    morning...groaning and complaining.  Boy, that first cup of coffee is a
    life saver.

    Okay, Roger loves to fish but hasn't had much experience with boats and
    I'm playing like I'm the local expert know-it-all.  I decide that its
    high time he gained some experience.  When we get to the boat ramp I ask
    him to back the boat down into the water.  I'll work the lines and keep
    the boat "with us" once it starts floating off.  First he backs into a
    set of bushes...no problem...those bushes shouldn't have been there
    anyway.  Then he lines the boat up reasonably well but pins the car
    against a tree.  Hey, its an old car...don't worry about it...try again.
    This time the boat's going in sideways.  Start over...try again.  Forth
    time's the charm.  Boat's in the water, I'm pulling it into shore, he's
    driving off to park.  I get in the boat and start re-arranging the gear
    and unnoticed start drifing away.  Hey, no problem...after all I've got
    the gas moter, the trolling moter, and an emergency backup paddle.  I'm
    about 30yds from shore when he shows back up yelling, "hey, can I go
    too?" I'm trying to get the @#^&@ gas moter running, it won't start,
    when I notice that there is water in the boat...AND IT"S GETTING
    DEEPER!!! This is where my cool calm nature and expertise comes in.  My
    somewhat sleep deprived and hungover brain shifts into...PANIC MODE!!!
    "I"M SINKING!", I yell back.  Of course, the reason I'm taking on water
    is because I forgot to put the plug in the boat.  The plug is buried
    under some of my gear sitting next to the plug hole in about 6" of water
    just waiting to be used.  Plus I always carry a spare plug in my tackle
    box.  But do I think of any of this...NOOOOO! All I can think of is
    getting back to shore before I take an early morning cold water
    swim...before I lose my boat to the depths.  Note that I'm only in about
    3' of water.  Note also that the boat has so much built in floation that
    even if totally flooded it would have stayed close to the surface.  The
    @)*#! gas moter won't start.  The trolling moter is disconnected.  I
    grab a free line and throw it towards Roger, yelling "PULL ME IN!" The
    "throw" end of the rope lands about 10' from Roger in the water.  My end
    lands about 10' behind that! I forgot to hold onto my end or tie it to
    the boat!  Roger is just standing there dumbfounded.  I'm sitting there
    alternately looking at the rope and then my hands...the rope...my
    hands...

    Anyway finally I calm down, paddle the boat into shore, plug up the
    hole, convert my makeshift livewell pump into a bilge pump and pummp out
    the boat.  Eventually we get on to fishing and some more mishaps...but
    that's a story for another day.

    Lon

    
    	Yeah - I'd say I'd be embarasses over that one...
    
    j

> ...There I'm laying in the bushes with yellow paint everywhere.
> Quickly jump up to make sure NO ONE saw it. Fortunately, my
> pride was hurt more than anything else.
> 
> Haven't shared this with many, so consider yourselves priviledged.
 -=============================-
    
  Aww, you were pro'ly just yellow! :-)

                                   Atlant

           I was doing some plumbing in my old house. Pls don't call the
    Mass. Plumbers assoc :-).. We had a plugged cold water line to the 2nd
    floor. It was the old steel or zinc ?? pipe which is threaded together.
    I cut the pipe in the basement and exposed the top of the pipe in the
    kitchen.. I hangin on with me head stuck in the ceiling pulling with
    every ounce of strength to get the dang thing unthreaded so it would
    drop out.. Hmm no problem ... Decided to switch to my biggest monkey
    wrench. This time it gave and turned a 1/4 turn then stopped. Now I'm
    getting a bit mad.. The ole Irish blood is beginning to boil and my
    shirt is starting to ripple like the hulk as I get ready to give it
    everything I've got. I give a mighty heave and it turns about a 1/4
    turn again. I reposition the wrench for a better grip and give it
    another heave... There's a loud crash in the LR.. Roh Roh? Must have
    awful big mice in this house ;-} So I climb down off of the ladder and
    peer into the Living Room. Well I guess the mau humi that built the
    house decided to put this humungo threaded tee in the wall. Prolly in
    case of future expansion?? Heck it was behind lath and all so it'd been 
    there for eons. The whole wall had buckled out from 3' up to the floor.
    Guess Murphy was figuring I didn't have enough work to do that day now
    I had a gaping hole in the LR wall and a very unhappy Former wife. Heck
    yes hon I have x-ray vision I knew there was a tee in the I just wanted
    ta tick you off ;-}
    
    bob

    This happened a few years back right here in ol'PKO.. I was late for a
    class... I was rushing into the building and these
    3 guys were walking in behind me, and I could hear them laughing.. 
    
    I get to the security desk to ask for the room I needed and when I
    looked down I realized that my slip was hanging over my sneakers...
    this isn't a good sign.. (-;
    
    I asked the security guard where the nearest bathroom was and she said,
    up the stairs, down the hall a bit...  so, I went around the corner,
    under the stair well and "straightened myself out"... 
    
    this was a great way to start a Monday morning.. (-;
    
    I ran into my three friends later on in the cafeteria... they were
    still laughing... 
    
    (-; 
             

    ...hmmm.... under the stairwell? 
    Did you notice the camera's hanging?
    
    Eeeek
    
    Dolores

    no.. but thanks for pointing that out.. (-;
    
    

          Gee Katleen bet you lit up one of the security guards screens a
    bit. OUCH!!
    
    
    bob

    oh no, I have the giggles and I can't stop!

    	Well unless she hoisted her skirt up around her ears - they didn't
    get too much of a thrill...
    
    jouce

    re: .16 by PCBUOA::DEWITT
    
    >> Well unless she hoisted her skirt up around her ears - they
    >> didn't get too much of a thrill...
    
    I think the "thrill" of a situation is mostly in one's mind.  It's
    not always how much one sees.
    
    e.g. guards (possibly) inadvertently seeing Kathleen making
    adjustments, not necessarily showing anything
    
       IMO - interesting, amusing, memorable, hopefully not degrading for
    Kathleen  (missed meeting Kathleen at the comedy club last
    night...)
    
    e.g. security cameras in bathrooms, dressing rooms, etc.
    
       IMO - disgraceful
    
    Did I just reveal too much of myself?  ;-)
    
    /Bill
    

    Don't let it be said that I don't play fair.  Ok, here are a
    couple of embarrassing things I've done, one as recently as
    YESTERDAY!
    

                                 Short Story 1
    
    Yesterday at Waterville Valley with Jan.  I was so cool.  I'd been
    there with Bob a couple of weeks before, so I knew where I was
    going and what to do.  We got our trail passes and rented some
    skis for Jan.  We got back into the car and drove over to a
    parking lot right next to where the trails go by, just a few feet
    from the parking lot.  All sounds fine and dandy, right?

    Problem 1.  We unpack Jan's skis and poles.  We unpack my skis. 
    Where are MY poles??  HOME in the garage right where I had left
    them last time!
    
    Problem 2.  Since there has been lots of snow recently, the
    parking lot has of course been plowed.  Well... guess what's
    blocking our way to the trail just 10 feet away.  Right, mountains
    of snow!
    
    Luckily, Jan's a good sport and didn't rub it in too much.  We
    found a low-spot in the snow bank and crossed over to the trails.
    Skied back to the base camp and rented poles for me.
    
    [continued in the cross-country ski topic, 43.]

                                 Short Story 2
    
================================================================================
Note 8.47                  Worst off-road experiences.                 47 of 122
AIRWLF::LIN "Nightstalker"                           25 lines  14-MAR-1988 05:14
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     It's my turn to report my worst off-road experience.  Well, it wasn't
     exactly off-road, not by much, and it wasn't intentional.  This fits
     in the "dumb things that people do" category.  You guys ought to get a
     good laugh out of it so it'll have been worth it.  ;^)
     
     I was heading home from Cabot, VT., yesterday with some friends who
     were in another vehicle.  I had my Toyota 4x4 pickup.  Being the nice
     guy that I am, I decided to bring up the rear to make sure that
     everyone got home safely.  So, I pull over onto the shoulder to let my
     friends by.

                        Lo and behold, there was no shoulder!
     
     I had the right front wheel off the road, sunk in snow up to the
     headlight.  The left rear wheel was up in the air.  I wished I had a
     Land Rover with all that suspension travel and I wished I had locking
     diffs, too!  Anyway, I couldn't drive myself out so out comes my new
     36K pound snatch strap.  Glad I bought it!

     Bottom line...  I was pulled out by a Dodge Caravan minivan.  How
     humiliating!  :-}  Live and learn.
     
     Hope I made someone's day.  ;^)  Cheers,
     
     Bill

    	IMO - they'd have to be pretty weird to think adjusting a slip was
    thrilling - or desperate :-)   
    
    	Adjusting a slip is a pretty bland thing, now were we talking 
    garter belt adjustment...
    
    joyce

    re: .19 by PCBUOA::DEWITT
    
    >> IMO - they'd have to be pretty weird to think adjusting a slip was
    >> thrilling - or desperate :-)
    
    Hmmm, kinky or desperate eh?  I wonder which I am...   ;-)  Can I be
    BOTH?
    
    >> garter belt
    
    We'd have to ask Kathleen what else she was wearing, but I don't even
    know her and it would be such a personal question.
    
    /Bill

    
    When I was ~15 I took square dancing lessons in the gym of one of the
    elementary schools.  The evening was well underway and the place was
    PACKED, with folks of all different ages, including that cutey that I'd
    had my eye on for a few years (mom was there too).  I was (I thought) 
    looking pretty good in my brand new Square Dancing Outfit with a big poofy
    skirt and a pretty blouse, and having the time of my life flaunting around
    and flirting with the boys.
    
    Ooops - more advanced dance, so I took advantage of the moment to run
    to the girls room.  Come out, and Mom is on the other side of the gym
    DESPERATELY trying to say SOMEthing to me.  Groan - WHAT does she want
    NOW?!?  I try to ignore her, but she won't stop.  But I can't make out
    WHAT she's saying, nor why she's waving her arms all around.  What??  
    What??  Well, it's between dances, so there's no one on the floor, I
    can walk over .... what?!?  And she's getting REALLY active here trying
    to make me understand.  WHAT?!?!?!  I finally make it across the gym
    and she GRABS me and spins me around ....
    
    
    
    And proceeds to untuck my skirt from the back of my nylons.
    
    The next week I got those bloomers .... in the meantime Everyone got a
    clear view of my butt/panties. 
    
    .... my most embarassing moment.
    
    -Patty
    

    re .20 -
    
    I work in the wrong DEC office... sigh.. I miss all the good stuff...
    
    <whine>
    
    :-)

          Big track meet in High School. It was the cross country season
    and we were undefeated and up against another undefeated team. I tend
    to be a fast starter and typically took the lead at the starting gun.
    On this occasion the football cheerleaders were out practicing... When
    the gun went off they decided to cheer for the home team pom poms
    flailing away. The start was on a field which happened to be wet and
    muddy. When I tried to negotiate a turn out a gate I fell ass over tea
    kettle. Skinned both knees, my hip, boths hands.. as I rolled over I
    saw 19 pairs of legs about to trample me. I rolled over to get outa
    their way. Naturally all of this in  plain site of 10 bodacious young
    ladies who were screaming and expressing horror at the bloody mess
    laying on the ground. Pulled myself together enough to start running
    again. I did learn thereafter to start off a little more slowly. 
    
    
    bob

OK, OK, theatre horror stories...

;-)

In high school I was in a show and in one of the dances I was in a kick line.
After we did all our little kicky things we, in sequence, went down into splits
one after the other.  I was the first one.  Well, one night I happened to go
down into the split 8 beats too early.  At least I'd done enough theater to know
to play up mistakes and act as if you were *supposed* to do that.  So there I
sat for the 8 beats smiling pretty acting like I was supposed to be there while
everyone else was dancing still.  Actually pulled it off fairly well - from 
what I heard only folks that knew the show knew that I'd screwed up.  Course
that might have been the same night that my strap on my character shoes (tap
shoes without taps) broke and I did this whole kick line with my toes scrunched
up as tight as I could trying to keep the shoe from flying off into the aud-
ience.  Everyone was standing backstage holding their breath.  I'd had a really
fast backstage change right before that so there was no time to fix the shoe
before I had to go on stage.  We quickly found a stapler after the number was
done.  ;-)  Oh, no, no one got hit with a flying shoe - managed to keep it on
the whole time.  ;-)

Guess the other one is more recent - darn, almost forgot about this one too...
(keep in mind this *was* my first time running lights for a major show!!)

              <<< WAYLAY::DKA200:[NOTES$LIBRARY]THEATRE.NOTE;14 >>>
                          -< All the world's a stage >-
================================================================================
Note 43.65                        Actorsingers                          65 of 80
DANGER::ASKETH                                       31 lines  14-NOV-1996 12:11
                      -< My lighting board experience... >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, the show was great!!!!!  Wish I'd been up there tapping instead of running
lights but c'est la vie.  I survived my first time running lights for a major
show!  Actually got a bunch of compliments from some theatre folks.  ;-)  One 
was even surprised that I wasn't an experienced lighting person!  I had kinda 
freaked out when I realized I had to call the spot cues as well as run the
board but it all ended working out fine.  It was fun but I think I'd rather do
stage crew.  I'm a people person and felt really isolated up alone in the bal-
cony. (Or maybe it's just that if I can't be on stage under the lights at least
being on crew I still get to be on stage. ;-) )

Only had one major screwup...there's a dance number where Bobby and Polly are 
dancing, they end, Polly goes off and then Bobby continues a bit more.  Well, 
I kinda left Bobby in the dark.  ;-(  Totally spaced that he continued to dance.
Called the blackout when they finished their dance together and then realized 
what I did and brought the lights back up again.  Unfortunately the stage
manager was cueing the scene change off of the blackout so he called the scene
change without watching the stage to see Bobby still dancing and before I got 
the lights back up.  So, Bobby also had to dance around houses moving behind 
him.  ;-(  Sigh.  I wasn't too worried about running the board but I was worried
about panicking over something going wrong and not having the experience to 
automatically know how to fix it.  Ideally I should've brought the spot back on 
Bobby but didn't think of that at the time.  Oh well, live and learn.  ;-)  That
whole night was messed up in other ways so at least it wasn't the only thing 
wrong (yeah, so maybe that's backwards logic but it makes me feel better at 
least ;-) ).

So, that's my running-the-lighting-board tale...OH yeah, we did get people to
run the spots - they'd never done it before.  For a "virgin" lighting crew we 
did pretty darn well!  ;-)

Barb

    RE Lighting board
    
    The HS I went to had quite the auditorium. It held 1600 people and had
    a permanent lighting board you wouldn't believe. It was probably 5' high by
    8' wide. The school did lots of plays etc during the year.
    
    Anyways, I was working after school with a guy who use to run the
    lighting board when he was in HS. He told me that they had an emergency
    generator in the basement below the auditorium that could be activated
    from the lighting panel (I had seen the switch) OR from three rows back
    in the orchestra section under one of the seats. Well, Steve always
    curious and mischevious had to check this out. He was right. 
    
    During a rehersal after school one day, I sat in the 'correct' seat and
    found the switch. During a darkened scene, I flipped the switch.
    Faintly below me I could hear the generator cranking. When it roared to
    life, it took all control away from the lighting panel and everything
    went to full brightness. The guy on the panel went nuts trying to
    adjust the levels all the while the Director was yelling at him. After
    a few seconds, I shut it off. Now the lights were all screwed up. 
    
    They never did figure out what happened...
    
    
    Steve the devil...
    
    PS Now someone else in this notes file may look for 'the switch'...

    Another HS theatre experience:
    
    In our senior musical I had two (small) parts.  I had to change in a
    hurry -- the backstage mens and ladies rooms were next to each other --
    I walked into the ladies room -- hasty retreat when I heard the
    screams.  Later in the show, I did it again.  "Nancy" wanted to know if
    I had seen anything; at that point I couldn't even remember my name. 
    No Nancy, I didn't see a thing.
    
    Tony
    

    
    	You didn't see anything the first time, so you went back later to
    	try again?

    	Well, I may as well fess up too :-)
    
    	Junior year I had the lead in the class play - I was a bride. 
    Right before I went onstage, I went to the ladies room.  I was wearing
    my mom's wedding gown and it had this jagumo train, it was satin.
    
    	When I walked out onto the stage I went to the front of the stage
    turned left and walked across the length of it and sat on a couch. 
    Couldn't for the life of me understand the "howls" from the audience
    but after I sat down I felt this snap.
    
    	I later found out I'd exposed my right leg from the waist down -
    the hem had gotten caught in my nylon's waistband - it was even caught
    on home movies!!
    
    	More embarassing was the day I strolled through downtown Maynard in
    my white gauze dress with the back of my slip caught in my waistband
    and my butt waving at the world...
    
    joyce

    
    	Home movies?
    
    	I didn't even know they HAD home movies way back then.
    
    
    
    	8^)
    

    RE .28
    
    I hate when that happens... 8-)
    
    
    Steve

         At my first house in Worc. I was in the process of cleaning out my
    pickup truck. Elora my oldest daughter was sitting in the front seat
    playing.. I figured I was safe.. Right?? I mean a 3 year old couldn't
    possibly release the emergency brake. All of a sudden the truck started
    rolling. I tried to stop it by hanging onto a door only to be knocked
    to the ground.. The truck rolled accross the street ,after springing
    both doors on the hedges, and was stopped by the curb. Elora was a bit
    upset but managed to stay behind the steering wheel. I suppose this
    should go under stupid things some people do...
    
          Darn no wonder she always bugging me about driving. ;-)
    
    
    bob

    re .29 - well see if I'll bring it to one of the house parties now :-P
    
    j

    Many, many years ago, my ex and I were at the drive in. This was before
    we were married. We had my convertible that I had broken the PARK pin
    on. I gingerly drove up the mound and balanced the car on it. I set the
    parking brake and put the speaker on the window. 
    	Well this car had reclining seats, so we reclined them and we had
    blankets and pillows. The movie was a nothing sort of movie so we just
    started making out. I moved my leg and heard a 'clunk'. I looked up (I
    was facing the rear of the car) and saw all the cars in the row behind
    us coming at us! Then I heard a noise over my shoulder and realised
    that I had hit the parking brake release and that the car was rolling
    backwards. The noise was the speaker sliding down the window. As it
    got to the front edge of the window, there was a 'twint' soound as the
    cables snapped. By this time I had stopped the car. We had to find a
    'new' spot to watch the movie from. 
    
    Sure must have looked interesting from the row behind us...
    
    Steve and his parking advantures. I have more...
    
    

        This is one I can finally look back and laugh at now. Back when my
former wife had just filed for a "D". I decided I'd been driving around in a 
econobox for too long and opted to buy a bigger car. Heck she had a minivan and
I'd now need a more appropriate vehicle for transporting my kids. So I bought
a newer car opting to sell the ***** privately.. I had a buyer and had yet
to exchange papers.. Being a considerate sort I decided to give it a tuneup.
The very first plug I attempted to remove broke off in the block.. ie: the
ceramic came out leaving a steel sleeve in an Aluminum block. Yes it was just
out of warranty as per rules of Murphy. So I drove it on 3 cylindars to a 
dealer. They tried for 3 days to try to remove the remnants of the plug. All to
no avail I needed a new head.. Well the buyer backed out accusing me of trying
to sell him a junk?? Heck and I was just trying to be a nice guy. Well I managed
to get a break on the head due to the car being so new and all. Either way it
ran around a grand.. Got myself another buyer. A digit from the UK. I explained
to him the work that'd been done on it.. He agreed to buy it pending the car
being checked by his mechanic. Well his mechanic sight unseen said don't buy it.
If he's had the head replaced then the rings will surely go within 1000 miles.
So I end up calling his mechanic to explain to him the reason for the new head.
It certainly wasn't due to abuse and that I wasn't a neophyte when it comes to
engines.. He'd stepped over the line giving the buyer misinformation and I knew
it! Well he recanted and agreed to look at the car. Arrrrrrrr it's only just
begun!! The mechanic found what he felt was too large a difference in the 
compression on adjacent cylinders.. Surely the head gasket was installed wrong.
Ended up getting **** district involved to assure the buyer that the compression
was in fact within specifications for the vehicle.. He agreed to buy it but 
asked to hold $500 back until **** gave him an extended warranty on the repairs.
Seemed a stretch to me but I agreed. 
      He'd yet to register the car and had been driving with my registration..
Hey I'm easy right.. I was in the midst of a big "D" and it seemed me against
the world so I just asked him to try to get it registered soon. Well his wife
took the car out the next day to register it.. She left the papers on the rood
and drove away!! Oh it gets better... I get a call that night saying my
registration and the title were missing. Oh crap I'm attending a course in
Burlington no way I can get to the registry in a timely fashion... Get a call 
the next day the Derry police dept had found my papers... I needed to call them 
with 48 hours or they'd destroy the papers.. I had to call between 9-5.......
Well I went to class that day and tried calling... Well whoopie shit that's why
people have calling cards. The phone company wouldn't complete the call due to
my not being able to charge the call to my own apt.. Cause nobody was home.
The Derry police Dept wouldn't accept a collect call. Well I guess I can 
undertand that.. Ended up calling after hours and leaving the contact person a
message. Luckily the buyer was allowed to go the next day and retrieve my 
papers. It took over a month for him to get the old plate back to me. I never
did get that last $500 back either. 
       The moral of my story for the entire year which had one disaster after 
another was that nice guys finish last.... But at least we can go to sleep at 
night with a clear conscience.
       A year later ****** came out with a TSB instructing owners to put anti
seize on the plugs when you replaced them!! ARRRRRRRRRRRR!


      ******* is the name of a car company which shall remain unnamed here 

          Back in the mid 80's I'd volunteered to work the finish line at a
    woman's road race. Sorry Shawn they only take men they know aren't
    gonna pat butts or other such things :-). So I'm working in the chute
    the object being to keep the women moving along so as not to block the
    finish line. Also as often can happen to catch anyone who faints after
    finishing. I was 3rd person in the chute and number 1 and 2 guys had
    just helped fainters off. This stunning blonde crossed the line and I
    noticed her eyes roll back so I grabbed her just as she blacked out.
    I'd managed to get her arm over my shoulder and proceeded to carry her
    out of the chute. She was just coming to when all of a sudden she blew
    chunks all over me.. Hmm someone had a bananna for breakfast :-P gad
    woman you're supposed to chew it before you swallow!! Well she pulled
    herself together and was under her own power when she looked at me..
    Did I do that!! Hard to say who was more embarrassed yuck and I still
    had to work for another 1/2 hour..
    
    
    bob

    
    	Hey, it sounds like you can cop a feel or ten if you're really
    	artistic about it.
    

    re .35 - gross as well as embarassing...
    
    j

    Ok...fresh from happening..just moments ago.
    
    I decided to play dress-up today. Finally fitting "down" into 
    some of my old clothes.   I have on a nice long dress, bit less
    of a neckline than some, if you catch my drift.   Nice black
    lace-up demi-boots.
    
    Well I'm going up the stairs and my dress hem caught on the eyelet
    of my boot and pitched me forward on the stairs, right in front of
    a gentleman coming down the stairs.  Got himself a good look down
    to my probably my stomach anyways ;->  I tried to straighten up 
    (fast) but my dress was caught.
    
    Aarrgghh.....  yup, I'd say that red face clashed nicely with my
    black dress.  Unless of course, well...do you think...maybe he...
    looked away?????
    							cj *->  

    
    	probably 
    
    
        NOT
    	
    j

    Red and black go nicely together... (-;
    
    

    ah yes, coming from another who likes to display her
    undergarments... ;->
    
    						cj *->

    who, me or Joyce.. (-;
    
    

    
    	Looked away?
    
    	Yeah, right.  I would have considered that an invitation to dive
    	in.  8^)
    

I would've looked away. 

Really, I would have. 

Really. 

Why are you laughing?

    
    	Why
    
    	because we know
    
        that old radar would just kick in :-P
    
    joyce

        I'd have told you afterwards whether or not you'd pass a pencil
    test.. So I guess I wouldna looked away.. Blush...
    
    bb

    ???  pencil test ???
    
    

    All men look
    
    Some would have wished that they had looked sooner...
    
    Some would have wished that they had been there...
    
    Some men   er ah...   (8-)------->
    
    Steve

>    Well I'm going up the stairs and my dress hem caught on the eyelet
>    of my boot and pitched me forward on the stairs, right in front of

Geez, hate when that happens!!!  I usually end up with the heels catching in the
hem problem - almost fell down a flight of stairs in my old house actually. ;-(
Was bringing back into work that old boat anchor of a VT100 I had at home.  Yes
I was wearing a skirt and heels and decided to carry the thing downstairs.  Got
to about the 2nd step down from the top and my heel caught in my hem.  NOT good.
Dropped the VT and grabbed for the railing to catch myself!  Thankfully I did
catch myself.  The VT went careening down the stairs and crashed into the wall
at the bottom of the stairs leaving a nice gauge (sp?) in the wall.  I'd rested
the keyboard on top of the VT so it fell as well and the keys sprung off and
flew *everywhere*.  Thankfully the tube didn't burst!  I came away with just a
bruise on my thigh where the VT fell on it's way down the stairs.

Now how's that for a drop test????  ;-)

    	Kathleen - whether or not a breast is large enough to hold a
    pencil in place, when planced underneath the breast and you have to be
    standing up - lying down doesn't count...
    
    j

	gouge

RE: .47

	You don't know about the Pencil Test?

						mike

    I am probably dating myself but in the 60's/70's the "pencil test" was
    the method by which you could test whether you went without a bra.  If
    the pencil fell you could go without a bra, if the pencil didn't, you
    better think twice about going bra-less.  Though I don't think any of
    us abided by the rules...
    

    Well I'm not saying one way or the other about this pencil
    test.
    
    (Gee, Daryll, I was looking for your "not" ;->  )
    
    					cj *->
    

I always thought the the pencil test was dropping the pencil into 
the "bit less of a neckline" and seeing if it hits the floor. Of 
course, it's just theory to me. 

Someday, someway, I will attempt a shiver-shot though. If you're 
unfamiliar with that, rent "The Cowboy Way" with Keifer 
Sutherland and Woody Harrelson. :-)

darykll

    
    	Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    
    joyce

    
    	RE: .50
    
    	I don't remember what I was watching, but there was some sort of
    	show with naked women on it who could [and did] pass a BOOK test.
    
    	And we're not talking "Readers' Digest" here ... we're talking
    	moree like "War and Peace".
    

    re: .52  
    
    Nope, never heard of it...   sounds interesting though.. (-;
    
    

    
    	.57 sure shawn - you don't remember what you were watching...
    
    
    
    and the moon is made of green cheese too!
    
    joyce

    
    	Probably one of those HBO late-night shows like "Sex Bytes" or
    	"Real Sex" or something.  I usually click on HBO or SHO as I'm
    	trying to fall asleep and set the TV timer for 1/2 hour, and I
    	fall asleep when I fall asleep.  Or I reset the timer for another
    	1/2 hour and try again.
    

    you lead such an interesting life.. (-;
    
    

    
    	Well, I don't want everyone to think I lay in bed all night and
    	channel-surf for shows featuring naked women.
    

    
    
    re: .50  Laying down *and* holding up a pencil?
    	Bless her soul!
    
    re: .57/.62  Hey, I've heard about those channels (usually from Ed.)

    re .62 but Shawn - we know that's what you do....
    
    joyce

    sooo.. according to all these descriptions.. how do you know if you
    passed of failed the pencil test?
    
    if the pencil passes through - pass? or fail?
    if you can hold a pencil under your breast while standing - pass? or
    fail?
    if you can hold a pencil under your breast while laying down - pass? or
    fail?
    
    

	Do we need to start another topic? ;-)


	[Now none of the lurkers will ever come to an event, they'll be
afraid someone will bring a pencil...]


					--D

    	Bottom line, if the pencil falls, you can get away with out wearing
    a bra...
    
    	But you have to do the test standing up.
    
    	Whether its a pass or fail, depends on whether you want to go
    without a bra or not.
    
    joyce

    re .66
    
    	Nahh Doug - they'll probably all start showing up :-)
    
    joyce

    thanks for the clarification... Joyce comes through again...
    
    (-;
    
    

    re .86
    
    I'm savin my pennies even now... after this conversation, I'll start
    saving my nickles and dimes as well!.
    
    Let's see... a standard old HB pencil will do just fine
    
    Jim
    (who doesn't wear a bra... anymore <oops :-)> grin)

    	You're welcome - I'm almost as large a repository of useless
    information as -
    
    
    	Daryll
    
    j

    
    	RE: .64
    
    	If I were better known by a three-letter acronym I would have
    	reported you to personnel for this by now.
    
    	8^)
    

    	re. 72
    	
    	you evil drooly little man - love you too :-)
    
    joyce

        Actually re:53 had it right. If you drop a pencil down the middle
    of your bra and it doesn't fall through you could go braless. If it did
    fall through well that was up to the individual ;-) Bob who also goes
    braless. I think Joyces description only works for those with coopers
    droopers but that's another story ;-))
    
    
    bb

    
    	Bob - go read .53 again - we're not talking dropping a pencil
    between - silly goose...
    
    joyce

    To respond to Harry (from another note string).  You haven't
    figured out where the other five cards went I guess.  Two
    we tried slipping down (no pencils around), they didn't make
    it through.  The others got lost as they kept getting dropped
    on the floor in front of me the last time I wore that dress! ;->
    
    						cj *->

            I think we all forgot to ask.. In spite of a bit of
    embarrassment were you ok?? I mean no broken bones or bruises??
            I like to hop two stairs at a time and occasionally take
    nose dives and end up sprainging my wrist trying to catch myself..
    
    bb

    Why Bob!  Thanks for asking, that's sweet.  No, I wasn't hurt.
    Did a nice job ripping the hem+ off my dress though.  Oh ya!
    That nice rrrriiipppp sound went well with the whole scene.
    
    Ah, you gotta laugh, right?  		cj *->

    ok.. it has been quiet in here.. so, I decided to share this very
    embarassing moment...  ok.. let me set the scene...
    
    I've moved and into my new abode I can plant flowers and such.  So, being
    unbelievably ignorant in this area, I go to the store to buy a hose.  I
    pick up what I think is a really good hose, a soaker hose.  I saw the
    name and thought it was a hose that had a shower type spray on it..
    didn't read anything else, didn't question why it was so light.. none
    of the above.. so I get my new hose home.
    
    I plant my flowers, and go around the house to hook up the hose.. I
    turn the water on full blast and run to the other end to water my
    flowers.. the water is barely trickling out the end.. I think - there
    is something wrong with this hose.. some soaker hose.. 
    
    at that point, my neighbor comes over.. his name is Jeff and he is 13..
    he says "what are you doing" and I tell him that I'm trying to water my
    garden and I'm not getting water out the other end... he says "thats a
    soaker hose".. I said, yeah, I know.. he looks at me, and points back
    to the hose.. it is then that I realize that the hose is "leaking" all
    over the place...
    
    my 13 year old neighbor explains to me what a soaker hose. 
    
    embarassed is an understatement...
                       
     
    
    

    	Watch out for those suckers - they'll get you every time :-)
    
    joyce

    re: .79 by BOOKIE::KENYON
    
    Sounds like something _I_ would do, being the non-gardener that I am,
    although somehow, I knew about soaker hoses.  ;-)
    
    Thanks for sharing.
    
    Bill

          Kathleen it's been a rough ride today.. Thanks for the chuckle
    :-)))))
    
          I'm green with envy you can garden where you live :-( Sigh I'm a
    container gardener until I can afford a place of my own.. Enjoy!!!
    
    bob

    re: .79 by BOOKIE::KENYON
    
    Thanks for reminding me I needed a soaker hose.  I picked one up
    last night.  ;-)
    
    Bill

    Bob,
    
    If you love to garden; you can have one at my place.  1/2 acre open
    with no grass only wild flowers.  The other 1 1/2 acres are trees,
    small pond and loose dogs.  Come garden to your hearts content. 
    
    Wendy

    Bob,
    
    Forgot to mention-well water no worry about water supply or water bands
    in the summer.
    
    

    Here's something humorous for you on a Thursday afternoon.
    
    I managed to fool my car's fool proof system which prevents one from
    locking oneself out of the car when the key's left in the ignition.
    Shows you I'm a whole level of fool beyond what those smart Toyota
    engineers had dreamed possible.  ;-)
    
    One the bright side:
    
    - DIGITAL security could not open the car with their "Jimmy" tool (it's
    only a plus after the fact that I got my keys another way)
    
    - after 20 minutes of fishing with a wire, I was able to extract the
    keys from the ignition, drop them on the passenger seat (boo!), snag
    them a second time, and finally draw them through an all-too-narrow-
    and-incorrectly-angled slit in my slightly open sunroof
    
    Cheers,
    
    Bill (back to the endless meetings...)

    
    	Well, how'd you lock the keys in the car?
    

    	You're creative!
    
    j

    Ya Bill, so tell us, just how *did* you fool the fool-proof-system
    into thinking that the keys weren't in the ignition???
    
    And talk about dexterity!! Bill, some time ago I dropped a ring down
    the drain.  It's now someplace halfway between the drain and
    my septic system.  Can you fish it out for me???  : -)  hehe
    
    Ron

    
>    And talk about dexterity!! Bill, some time ago I dropped a ring down
>    the drain.  It's now someplace halfway between the drain and
>    my septic system.  Can you fish it out for me???  : -)  hehe
    
Ron,

    This may be totally obvious to you but just in case ....

I just wanted to make sure that you know that almost every drain in
a normal house has a thing called a "trap". It's an section of pipe that
goes back UP again before continuing down. This forms an "S on it's
side" shaped area which is called a "trap" because it is designed to
"trap" things that fall down the drain. There is usually a screw plug in
the bottom of part of the "S" section that you can take out so that you
have easy access to whatever it was that dropped down the drain. Light
things like "contact lenses" usually go right through/past the trap but
"heavy" things with little surface area (like rings) are usually caught
in the trap and are fairly easy to retrieve. But you knew all that ...
right ????

Sorry, but the real reason for a trap is to stop
waste gases from coming back up the pipe. The fact 
that you can save a ring is a bonus....

    My, what a conversation I've started.  Actually, this is a proper
    note heading for this...cuz I'm now red-faced and embarassed (ok, so 
    it's not the first time).  I was being facetious when i mentioned the 
    ring down the drain.  Wanted to see just *how* talented Bill really is.
    But hey, good thread anyway and thanks for the pointers!
    
    Ron  

>Sorry, but the real reason for a trap is to stop
>waste gases from coming back up the pipe. The fact 
>that you can save a ring is a bonus....

And now I'm red faced also :-) :-) ....  Yeah, I had forgotten
that aspect of it since it seems like the only time I ever deal
with the thing is the because of it's trapping things the other way.
I stand (or sit :-) corrected.

    Gee, look what I've started.  I didn't know I had the troublemaker in
    me!
    
    How did I fool the fool-proof system?  I don't know for certain yet. 
    I'll have to do some engineering verification tests.  ;-)  I'll report
    my findings.
    
    Cheers,
    
    Bill

        Hey Bill can you give us lessons on the fine art of snagging things
    with coathangers :-)
    
    bob

    Engineering tests completed on foolproof key-in-ignition lockout
    situation.
    
    Almost came up with a no-problem-found result.  It was actually
    difficult to cause the failure.  The failure is in the ignition key
    sensor of course.  There are certain key insertion depths where I could
    not get it to fail, unfortunately, I did get the sensor to fail in the
    full-in position.  With the door open and the key in the ignition,
    there is audio feedback that the key is in.  With a bit of jiggling the
    key, the buzzer turned off!  Problem found.
    
    I was just "lucky" yesterday morning.
    
    re: .95 by WRKSYS::BROWER
    
    > Hey Bill can you give us lessons on the fine art of snagging things
    > with coathangers :-)
    
    The hard part's finding a wire coathanger when you're out on the road
    or at work.  Security had a 15 foot length of heavy gauge wire so I
    lucked out.
    
    Cheers, Bob.  We'll see if you read this before your return next week.
    ;-)
    
    Bill

    Sounds like you need to submit a bug report to Toyota.  Maybe
    you can work a deal whereby you beta test their new vehicles!
    
    Ron

    re: .97 by PCBUOA::DESHARNAIS
    
    Think I can demand a refund?  After all, the vehicle's only 12 years
    old.  And it's not as fast as the new Supras.  Maybe they'll upgrade me
    for free.  It's a customer satisfaction issue!
    
    Bill (tongue in cheek)

    	It's a customer satisfaction issue!
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    don't look at me - I'm off the 800 line now :-) :-) :-) :-)
    
    joyce

    re: .99 by PCBUOA::DEWITT
    
    >> don't look at me - I'm off the 800 line now :-) :-) :-) :-)
    
    So what's your home phone number, Joyce?
    
    ;-)

    	Yeah Bill, that customer was a doozie :-)
    
    	thanks for the chuckle...
    
    joyce