Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    
    Are you saying that a long string of jokes about women would please
    you?

    
    I don't think a long string of jokes that are denigrating to women
    would please any woman here.  I think that was obvious and am
    unfamiliar with why you would have to ask.
    
    However, if anyone feels the pressing need to enter them in womannotes,
    they should not be entered in the "feminist humor" topic, since they
    are not what many women here would consider "feminist humor" (myself
    included).  Thus they  have been given their very own string.
    
    -Jody
    

    re .1, are you trying to please us, Bob?
    
    Lorna
    

    WHy bother Mike.... do you HONESTLY think that ANYTHING that might even
    REMOTELY seem like a joke about women would actually be allowed to
    stay?
    
    So, she can count em...On ONE hand yet.....

    
    	Al, this topic was started because some people were putting 
    	"JOKES ABOUT WOMEN" in the feminist humor topic!  (And, yes, 
    	they were allowed to stay - both in this incarnation of 
    	Womannotes as well as the last.)
    
    	I guess you just didn't recognize them when you saw them.
    

    There was this little girl who went to the park one day to find
    a little boy playing with his toy dump truck.  Said the little boy,
    "I have a dump truck and you don't!"
    
    The little girl went home and told her mother what had happened
    and the next day she arrived at the park with her own dump truck.
     This time the boy had a tricycle.  Said the little boy, "Who cares
    about a dump truck!?  I have a tricycle and you don't!"
    
    Again, the little girl went home and told her mother what had happened
    and the next day the little girl arrived at the park with her own
    tricycle.  The little boy became real upset at this and finally
    pulled down his pants, pointed to his penis and said, "I have a
    one of these and you don't!"
    
    Once more the little girl went home and told her mother of the events
    at the park.
    
    The next day the little girl walked up to the little boy, lifted
    up her skirt and said, "I have one of these, and my mom says that
    with one of these I can have as many of those that I want!"
    

    
    heh heh... good one!
    

    True, but it does work ...
    
    Jerry (who doesn't even HAVE a dump truck ...)    8^)

        A woman  could  never get her husband to do anything around the
        house.  He  would  come home from work, sit in front of the tv,
        eat dinner, and sit  some  more--would  never  do  those little
        household  repairs  that most husbands  take  care  of.    This
        frustrated the woman quite a bit.
 
One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly,
"Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?"
 
Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The Tidy-Bowl man?" and sat down 
on the sofa.
 
The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home,
she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix
it for me?"
 
Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?"
 
The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home,
she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you
check on it?" and again was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag
repairman?"
 
Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three
repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. When her
husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today."
 
He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?"
 
"Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having
sex with them."
 
"Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?" he asked.
        

        
        
                
               She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"

    
   re. 14 Oh YEAH!
    
    
    Can I extract that one for my joke file?

>                      <<< Note 175.16 by ASHBY::FOSTER >>>
    
>   re. 14 Oh YEAH!
    
>    Can I extract that one for my joke file?
        
        Sure!
        

    
    .10 and 14 -
    
    I just realized these are in this string and not the Feminist Humor
    string.
    
    How come?
    
    D.

    RE. .18
    
    Well, speaking for myself, I don't find them particularly feminist.
    
    I think the most recent one just replays the old "women using sex for
    gain/to get by" line that such humor has used for years. 
    
    Not that it isn't funny, I just don't think it's feminist.
    
    --DE
    

    Two women, Janet and Jane,  were sitting down for an afternoon tea in
    Janet's kitchen.  On the table is a bouquet of roses. 

    "Where did you get the roses, Janet?", asks Jane. 

    "My husband bought them for me.", says Janet. 
    
    "You're lucky.", says Jane, "Whenever my husband buys me roses I have
    to spend the night in bed with my legs up in the air." 

    Janet answers, "You should buy a vase." 
    

    
    re .20
    
    I heard that joke a few years ago. The first thing that came to mind
    was thorns. And with that thought, the joke became very sick in quantum
    leaps.

    Maybe you should read about palangs.
    
    							Ann B.

Ann:

> palangs.
    
  Okay, I've looked in the DEC-standard-issue-excised-of-all-the-
  good-words dictionary and it's not in there.  Care to explain?

                                   Atlant

    Atlant,
    
    First, you should understand that you *really* don't want to know
    what a palang is, okay?
    
    
    Trust me on this.
    
    
    The following is quoted by John Hart to Redmond O'Hanlon from an
    article by Tom Harrisson in the "Sarawak Museum Journal", Volume
    VII, December 1956, and is taken from _Into_the_Heart_of_Borneo_ by
    Redmond O'Hanlon, published by Random House in 1984, ISBN 0-394-54481-1.

    "`One of the exhibits that excites the most interest in our museum
    is that of the palang.  This is the tube or rod of bamboo, bone, 
    hardwood, etc. with which the end of the penis [just beneath the
    glans] is pierced among many inland people ....  In each end of this
    centre-piece may be attached knobs, points or even blades of suitable
    material.  Some men have two palang, at right angles through the
    penis tip.

    "`The function of this device is, superficially, to add to the sexual
    pleasure of the woman by stimulating and extending the inner walls
    of the vagina.  It is, in this, in my experience decidedly successful.'"

    							Ann B.

    RE: ANN
                 Where in the world do you come up with these things?
    
    
    Dave

    There's lots of examples of people in today's society who have decorated
    themselves with palangs (with photos and everything) in a book called
    Modern_Primatives (which has been discussed in one of the earlier
    versions of this conference.
    

Well I don't know bout *blades*, but I have heard that various forms
of penile jewlery (Prince Albert's, ampalangs, etc.) can, indeed,
be very pleasureable for a woman during intercourse.  I have this 
from a very reliable, and very knowledgeable ;-) source.  Not a 
masochist, either, just a reg'lar ole woman.  I would have thought
they would interfere and be painful for one or both parties, but as
it turns out, that is not the case.

D!

    Yeesh!  I think the only way I could have gotten more responses
    would have been to put up a "Wet Paint" sign.
    
    I read a review of the book when it came out.  (I love reading reviews
    (and case histories).)  A few years later, I found it in the Daedalus
    catalogue, ordered it, and read it.  Why I had that information
    on-line is another story....
    
    We aren't talking about a matriarchal culture (There aren't any.),
    but I didn't notice if it was noticeably patriarchal.  (Sexual
    mutilation of young men is frequently a `feature' of such cultures.)
    
    						Ann B.

    
    Why would sexual mutilation of young men be common in such cultures? Is
    it something to do with wanting to imitate the natural bleeding that
    young females have at menarche?
    
    D.

    Herb,
    
    I knew you were being light-hearted (although that "Ouch" seemed
    more like "heart-felt" :-), but, really, there aren't any
    matriarchal cultures and so forth, blah, blah, blah, and why
    shouldn't I slip in a little education?  BTW, did you notice the
    significance of the very last sentence of .24?
    
    							Ann B.

    
    Can someone give me a pointer to other notes on Modern Primitives?
    It sounds like an interesting book.
    
    Eva.

    Reminds me of the joke about the man who was so selfish, he wore his
    ribbed condoms outside in.
    
        :^)
    
             Margaret

    re .35, Eva- 
    
    >  Can someone give me a pointer to other notes on Modern Primitives?
    
    In ranger::womannotes-v2 topic 809.* "Nipple Piercing" has some
    discussion on Modern Primitives.  809.9 was the first to mention 
    the book.
    
    DougO

Mutilation is a *very* value-loaded term.

Body modification is a preferable term, especially when we are talking about
current practitioners who are certainly not being forced to do it by parents
or society or anyone else ("modern primitives"), because it doesn't carry the
negative connotations of "mutilation."

Genital piercing is no more mutilation than ear piercing, tattooing,
scarification, branding, circumcisions, or any other form of voluntary and 
intentional body modification (some of which happen in out society
frequently, and some of which don't.)

As I know a lot of people who have voluntarily decided to modify their
bodies (most people I know, actually, since ear piercing counts) I would
prefer the non-value-judgement term of "body modification" be used.

Thank you.

D!

[PS: "Modern Primitives" is a book/magazine published by Re/Search about
piercing, tattooing, scarring, branding and other forms of body modification,
in the context of "primitivism".  For those who are interested, there is
also a mailing list about it.]

    
    re: .38
    
[PS: "Modern Primitives" is a book/magazine published by Re/Search about
piercing, tattooing, scarring, branding and other forms of body modification,
in the context of "primitivism".  For those who are interested, there is
also a mailing list about it.]

    PPS - i have seen "Modern Primitives", as well as other works by
    Re/Search, at Newbury Comics in Framingham.  don't know if it has
    made it to mainstream bookstores, but a well stocked comic book
    store might have it.
    
    

    Whilst out getting yet another tattoo this weekend, I happened to
    look around at the titles on my tattoists bookshelf.  There were
    lots of reaonably esoteric books with lots of oriental drawings
    and such  but there was one that really struck me as odd...
    
    I mentioned it to Glen and he looked just a bit sheepish and said
    "You mean 'Modern Primitives?'"  
    
    "No", I repied. "I've got that one at home.  I meant 'Illustrated
    Parrots of the World'.  It just doesn't fit in here"
    
    After he stopped laughing, we finished this really nice bracelet.
    
    -mo

    A seamstress closes up shop for the evening and heads home.  On
    the street a flasher comes up, opens wide his trenchcoat and exposes
    himself to her.
    
    A look of shock crosses her face as she says, "You call that a
    lining?!"
    
    
    Kris

    Sounds like she was a tailor.

Along the same lines.

A flasher approached a woman and exposed himself saying, "Hey, look at
this.  What do you think this is?"

The women replied, "Well, it looks like a p*nis, only smaller."

    
    re: last few..
    
    I always heard it as...
    the seamstress replies: "oh, that reminds me...I need to buy some
    	more thimbles"!
    
    d
    

    Hey, hey, hey, I thought this was humor about women. Yet somehow it
    has gotten turned around into put down humor about men. While we were
    on the topic of socially approved genital mutilation I am suprised no
    one else brought up circumcism as a current example. I saw that joke
    about the flasher with the raincoat on TV last night.  Jeff

    Woman says to flasher: "No thanks, I'm trying to quit."
    
    
    When I was in college there was a "stacks flasher."  Legend has it that
    he stopped after one woman commented, "Um, no, deviant sexuality is in
    the psych section."

    
    What do twin lesbians have in common?
    
    (Answer after the Form Feed).
    
    
    They lick alike.
    
      Alan

    re:-1
    
    That was vile. =)
    
    Lisa

    It's a man's first day on the job in a store which sells sexual
    material.  A white woman walks in and asks for a white vibrator, which
    the man sells her for $12. 

    A little while later a black woman walks in and asks for a black
    vibrator which the man sells her for $15. 

    Later in the afternoon a woman walks in wearing a kilt and asks for, in
    a heavy Scottish accent, a plaid vibrator.  The man scratches his head,
    goes into the back room and rummages around.  Finally he gives the
    woman what she wants and she pays $25. 

    At the end of the day, the fellow's boss asks how his first day went. 

    "Fine," he answers, "I sold a white vibrator to a white woman for $12.
    Then I sold a black vibrator to a black woman for $15." 

    
    
    
    
    
    "And I sold my thermos to a Scottish woman for $25." 

    
    Kris

    re:.51
    
    Sick. =)
    
    (BTW, smileys are there because these jokes are disgusting, but they
    don't irk anger in me.  Kind of more the feeling when your little
    brother or sister does something gross at the dinner table and you
    just roll your eyes.)
    
    Lisa

    <--(.51)
    
    Ye muckle gowk, tha's no bluidy funny!
    
    						=maggie,
                                                wha disnae fancy sairtin
    						aythnic jokes.

    
    
    
    What was the name of Lady Godiva's horse? 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
               Lucky
    
    
    

    How does a bitch get her partner to orgasm?

    She *tells* him off. ;*}

    Why do married women close their eyes while they're having sex?
    
    
    So they can fantasize that they're shopping.
    

	How do women hold their liquor ?


	By their EARS!

I don't get it.

Think homophones...

    
    Here, I'll make it crystal clear.
    
    
    Liquor -> lick-er -> someone who licks.
    
    How do women hold their "lick-er"?
    
    By the lick-er's ears...
    
    
    Yeah, I know, it takes ALL the fun out of it.

    I wish I were as young as I was the first time I ever heard that joke.
    
    

	RE: Liquor

	A bar in Tucson (an S&M bar, actually) has t-shirts that say

	

		"Liquor where she likes it."

	Of course, the guy that owned the bar also called himself
	"God" and was on campus arguing with the "preachers" everytime
	they came around.


	kathy

    in re .62
    
    Lorna, me too! :-) !
    
    bj

>>    I wish I were as young as I was the first time I ever heard that joke.
    
   ....See if you can brush out the cobwebs and remember this one...    
       I like this one.

       A guy is sitting at a bar drinking shots. He calls to the bartender to 
 pour another one. The man promptly drinks it down and after doing so, the 
 bartender notices that the man reaches down into his shirt pocket and looks at
 a small picture. The man looks up and calls the bartender over again to refill 
 his glass.  This goes on for some period of time.  After refilling his glass 
 for the um-teenth time, the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, why do you keep lookin'
 at that picture?",  to which the man replies, "It's a picture of my wife..., 
 and when she starts to look good, then I go home..."

    Two cows are in the barn being milked by the farmer.
    One cow turns to the other one and says:
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    "Why does he always stop after the foreplay?"

    This fellow is boosting to his friends that "at home everything
    is under control... he and his wife have everything worked out...no
    problems...and best of all ..HE decides on all the BIG things and his
    wife decides on all the SMALL things !!"
    His friend asks him what he really means.
    
    "Well it is very simply he replies"
    
    "My wife decides what car we buy, what house we rent, what we do
    for hollidays, where to invest our money, etc."
    
    "And I decide what should happen in the world, what do do about
    the economy, who should be prime minister, what to do about acid
    rain and pollution, etc"
    
    Bart
    

    I wonder about the sort of person that thinks .68 is funny. It looks
    merely insulting to me. liesl

    in re .69
    
    .68 has been set hidden, the person who entered it declined to
    delete it.
    
    Bonnie J
    =wn= comod

    Let's get rid of this note. I think having it in here is pandering to
    the *#@%!!!! sexist neanderthals among us.
    
    Eileen

    re .71, I agree.  The sexist neanderthals have the rest of the world to
    tell their stupid jokes in.  They don't need to put them in womannotes.
    
    Lorna
    

    RE: .71 and .72
    
    Hear, Hear!
    
    E Grace

    I vote to keep the topic here.  These jokes are out there, and they're
    being told largely behind our backs.  I think it's in the "interest
    of women" to know what's being said, and it's less uncomfortable to 
    read it here (at our leisure, when we're prepared to deal with it) 
    than to encounter it live.

	Sharon

    For those who would like to see this topic closed, I can suggest that
    you request the moderators to propose it as a subject for the community
    to vote on.
    
    
    Bonnie J
    =wn= comod

    re .75, behind your back?  I've always heard jokes like these told in
    front of my face!
    
    Lorna
    

re .77:

    Most people that know me wouldn't dare do it without at least asking
    permission first :-)

	Sharon

how about just leaving it hidden.. and just ignore it

its not woth the 'fuss'

I believe this note was originally added because some confused souls thought
that the "feminist humor" note was an appropriate place for sexist humor
*against* feminists or women.  In an effort to get such inappropriate jokes
out of the feminist humor note, this note was created.  That way, those of us
who are offended by such humor can "next unseen" past this note and still
reading the Feminist Humor note.

On those groups, I say we keep it and ignore it.

D!

    If that joke were about blacks, jews, or another minority,
    would we have to vote as a community to get rid of it? I
    think not. I think that Digital would get it dropped in a
    flash. I don't know why they didn't do it in this case.
    It's okay to insult women at Digital? If that's true, the
    ceiling isn't just made of glass.
    
    Eileen

    Eileen
    
    We aren't talking about voting to get rid of a tasteless joke, we
    are talking about getting rid of this entire topic.
    
    Bonnie

    RE: .82
    
    I know, Bonnie. But I think the topic itslef invites that kind of
    humor. Can you picture a topic on humor about blacks, jews, or
    any other social outgroup/minority?
    
    Eileen

    Eagles, you are the seconder.  I sent mail to Bonnie hours ago.

    and I'm just waiting to hear from my comods.
    
    Bonnie

    Maybe we'd be better served by a topic for jokes about the
    interplay between women and men ?

    I thought this note was created when someone remarked about the
    Feminist Humor note (which is often jokes about men), that if a
    similar note targeted at women were created, it would get deleted
    or set hidden.  Then they were told to try it and see.
    	Linda

    I never thought we needed this topic.  If noters 
    misunderstand the feminist humor topic and enter demeaning
    jokes about women, those can be set hidden (if the author
    can't be persuaded to remove them).  Likewise, jokes whose 
    whole point is to demean men don't belong either.
    
    There are non-insulting jokes "about women" that may not be 
    "feminist".  I have heard jokes about menopause and menstruation
    that were not insulting.  Unfortunately, such jokes are best 
    told in an understanding audience, where one does not have to 
    explain the point.   This topic does not seem to attract the
    good-humored kidding about being female.
    
    Pat 
    

    Out of 89 replies in this string, only 13 contain "jokes".  Prior to
    .68, the last entry was written on July 24.
    
    With that in mind, why is there a need for a vote?  If an entry
    offends, there are means to communicate with the author.
    
    
    Judi
    

    yeah, but....uh.....uh.....
    
    the feminist humor note targets men, and uh....uh.....
    that particular note was making fun of WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!
    
    

    Thanks, Eagle.  That was the gist of my objection, also.
    
    E Grace

    re .92, Jonathan, the humor targeting men is justified.  The
    humor targeting women is not.  It's more unusual for humor to target
    men.  But, men have been making fun of women forever.  
    
    Actually, I didn't think the idea of the feminist humor topic was to
    make fun of men.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    All in all wouldn't it be easier rename the note to "jokes that
    cast women in a negative light", or maybe abusive jokes about women!
    
    Then the joke could be a source of discussion...   ;*)
    
    Of course deleting the whole note would save disk space... ;*)
    
    Allison

    
    A word of the author:
    
    A> I was never asked to delete it, I was only told it was somewhat
       rude. Agreed to that.
    
    B> It is and remains a JOKE. I never considered any part of it a little
       bit true. Any insult from a joke is purely from yourself. I believe
       that if you can't laugh about the things you are or believe in you
       can't realy live with them.
    
    C> This joke had no commonly accepted rudeness like a sexist joke. 
       I told it to some women here and they had to laugh to and returned
       a similair joke a bout men.
    
    	R

    
    re .-1
    
    Count the notes set hidden
    
    	R
    
    8-)

    .94 Lorna
    Dont mind me, jes droppin in but.....
    isnt that attitude a little sexist itself?
    
    I mean, saying that "sexist" jokes towards men is justified, but
    "sexist" jokes towards women is not, is a little hypocritical, isnt it?
    
    If men were doing it for years, and it was/is wrong, what justifies
    women doing the same thing?
    
    Personally, I say abolish all the sexist jokes, no matter whom the
    target is.
    
    AL

    
>    B> It is and remains a JOKE. I never considered any part of it a little
>       bit true. Any insult from a joke is purely from yourself. I believe
>       that if you can't laugh about the things you are or believe in you
>       can't realy live with them.

    This is a pet peeve of mine, the old "You've gotta laugh at yourself"
    line, inevitably said by people who are not laughing at *themselves*,
    but at *others*.

    Just because I can laugh at myself does not mean I have to let others
    laugh at me.  And nowhere in that joke was there a scrap of "me" anyway.
    Make no mistake: the joke was mean-spirited and not funny in the least.
    And to those that say that I "have to laugh" at it because "you have
    at yourself", I say



				COWSH!T !!

    
    Tell me a rude joke about man or me. I'll laugh about it. That wouldn't
    be the first time. (remember only you have a big change to get another
    back.)
    
    	R

    re .99, Al, what's the matter, don't you have a sense of humor?
    
    Lorna
    

    
>>    Tell me a rude joke about man or me. I'll laugh about it. 

    That's not the point.  The point is that not whether I care if you
    can laugh at yourself (or men) or not, the point is that I don't
    want to be laughed at by others.

	Sharon

    Here we go again. If men insult us we are boors if we don't laugh. No
    sense of humor they say. If we returned the favor as the joke author
    requested then some guardian of male sensitivities would haul us to
    personnel for insulting *all* men.

    What to do, what to do? Maybe we should tell them how women talk about
    them when they aren't there. I wonder how many men know that a lot women
    they haven't slept with probably know the faults they have in bed. We women
    do love to share and compare that sort of knowledge.

    Opps, just kidding, can't you take a joke? liesl

    re .104, Liesl, I wanna know what he did *next*!!! :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Lorna,
    
    Threw his back out? :-)
    
    Bonnie

    
    
    that isn't what i heard........
    
    what he did next was......GO TO SLEEP!
    
    

    Sleep?  Why would anyone want to sleep when you can go for another
    round instead?
    
    -- Mike

    in re .108
    
    ah, younger men?

    RE: .108
    
    Ah, yes, Mike.  And then you woke up, right?
    
    E 

    You know what really offends a lot of men? 
    
    Tell him you got together with a bunch of women.  Tell him you
    meet regularly to discuss serious issues affecting women -- for
    instance, in a book discussion group.  Tell him you talk for hours
    about the things that really matter to our lives.  And then tell
    him, truthfully . . .
    
    
    "WE NEVER MENTIONED MEN AT ALL."
    
    --bonnie

    I would like to point out that I am only human.  Five times is my
    limit, tops.
    
    -- Mike

    So Mike, what is your limit, bottoms?

    Re:  .112
    
    
    
    Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
    hee hee hee hee hee
    
    gigglegigglegiggle!
    
    

    
    This whole discussion reminds me of the cover of a 1972 MS magazine
    that I found last week when I was cleaning out some old boxes.  The
    cover was a vividly coloured, 1950's style cartoon, with a male and a
    female figure, each having ballons above their heads.
    
    He:  Do you know feminists have no sense of humor?
    
    She:  No, can you hum a few bars?
    
    Classic :-)
    
    Inside was an article I'd long forgotten about on jokes, humor, and
    women.  It was *wonderful*!  If it doesn't violate copyrights to type
    in an 18-year-old magazine article, and there is someone willing to do
    it,  I'll gladly bring it in.
    
    					/Rita
    

    I started this note. 
    
    I started it, as D! said, for one reason, because certain of the 
    gentlemen present were putting ANTI-feminist humor in the "Feminist
    Humor" note. Also, because some people seemed to think that not all
    humor about women was feminist humor. Thus, I started this note.
    
    If you care to go back and re-read .0 (don't worry about it: neither
    would I) I suggested that we look at this note in some amount of time
    and see exactly what kind of jokes were place in here.
    
    *My* theory was that MOST "Humor about women" is, in fact, insulting
    to women. On the other hand, "Feminist humor" does *not* insult women.
    
    This is very different than the case of "humor about men". Almost every
    joke I hear that doesn't insult women, is about men. ("Didja hear about
    the guy playing golf...." "There was this salesman in a bar...")
    
    I rest my case.
    
    --DE
    

    It's me again.
    
    OK, for the LAST time: This is dru..Oh no. different commercial.
    
    For the LAST time: Feminist Humor does NOT insult men. There is humor
    that insults men. It is insulting humor, not Feminist Humor.
    
    Humor that insults men is not feminist.
    
    On the other hand, *neutral* humor is almost always about men.
    
    OK? Humor that is NOT insulting to anyone is about men. Humor that
    insults a particular gender is almost always about women.
    
	Please don;t confuse jokes that show women in a particularly
    positive light with jokes that show men in a particularly negative
    light. It's the old trap of "Well, if she's  PRO-woman, she must be
    ANTI-man." Don't fall into it.
    
    --DE
    

    
    
    	
    	re: .112 (Mike Valenza)
    
    	> I would like to point out that I am only human.
    	> Five times is my limit, tops.
    
    	Mike,
    
    	Are you still on your M.A.C.H.O. campaign or what :-] !?!
    	
    	(Don't think we forget these things, you sly dog...)
    
    						nancy b.
    

    in re .112 Mike Valenza
    
    Five times?
    
    
    
    
    a night?
    
    
    
    a week?
    
    
    
    
    a month?
    
    
    
    
    a year?
    
    
    
    
    :-)
    
    Bonnie

    re: .102 Lorna
    
    Ah, yea... I think I do... do you?
    
    

    Bonnie, I like to think that I can cram a year's worth of pleasure
    into a single night.  :-)
    
    -- Mike

    RE: .122
    
    Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh, Mike!
    
    
    heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh snort giggle chuckle..........
    
    getting myself back under control, now.
    
    Well, Mike, how nice for you.  Have you ever thought of sharing this
    with another?
    
    E Grace

    re: .120
    
    my apologies in advance to mike, but seeing as he does have
    a MACHO campaign going on, i have to wonder if "5 times, tops"
    refers to his life to date achievements......
    
    
    
    
    			O	--
    			    |
    			    |
    			    |
    			\_______/

    I'm waiting until he begins his NACHO campaign.  THEN he'll get some
    real attention!
    
    Yours for free fajitas!
    
    -Jody
    

    Anyone want to contribute to a fund to send E Grace to Colorado
    or to get Mike out here again?
    
    
    
    
    :-) X 10
    
    Bonnie

    RE: .119 & .124
    
    Alas, poor Yor.....oops! Wrong show.
    
    Alas, poor Mike, his M.A.C.H.O. campaign ended 2 weeks ago.
    
    I think he's just trying to stir up interest!  
    
    E

    I thought the joke in .67 was actually about saying something along the
    lines of :
    
    o Women do all the important stuff.
    o Men sit around pontificating but _doing_ nothing.
    
    So if anything it was a joke against men. I don't understand why some
    contributers have taken offence.
    
    -Shantanu

    
    	RE: .128  Shantanu
    
    	The joke people were discussing was the one after .67 (it has since
    	been deleted.)
    
    	If anyone discussed .67, please point me to it (I don't recall seeing
    	this.)
    

    Indeed it is notes confusion... I was utterly confused that .68 was
    being mentioned when it did not exist and assumed that perhaps .67 was
    the one meant ( i.e. that the people discussing it were making typos )
    
    My apologies.
    
    -Shantanu

    E, I must admit that you are correct, I can now see why you were
    accepted by Intertel. :-)
    
    My only defense is that my honesty about my limitations (five times a
    night) could also create disinterest.  I guess that's just the chance
    I'll have to take.
    
    -- Mike

    
    re .-1
    Well, you did nuke the joke or didn't you. You responded exactly as
    could be expected. Isn't it more mature to put yourself above these 
    things?
    
    	R

    
    re .133:
    
    Whose maturity is in real question is the *poster's*,
    *not* the moderators!
    

    
    I wasn't responding to you Bonnie, but to the others that did ask you
    to delete it. 
    
    This isn't exactly filth that is thrown at your house. First that is
    more physical, these were just words. Secondly I can't consider
    throwing filth a joke where this was one, that's why it was entered in 
    this topic.
    
    I send the joke to a few persons that asked for it and they all
    considered it childisch to have it deleted. 
    Here we so a big difference in opinion. There are clearly a lot of
    people that didn't weant it to be deleted.
    
    	R

    But it wasn't funny.
    

    
    some have another opinion
    
    	R

    
    .138 -
    
    Some do indeed. Some even get nominated as candidates for high
    political office.  ;-)
    

    
    re .136:
    
    >...these were just words.
    
    And if I were to call you an asshole, that's just words too, right?
    Would you get angry?  Why?  It's just words!  (Note, I am not calling
    you one!).
    
>    I send the joke to a few persons that asked for it and they all
>    considered it childisch to have it deleted. 
    
    You're too funny.  You think the moderators are childish?
    Look at yourself, pal.
    

    
    re mod
    
    Sorry about the original .141, little mistake. I'll refrase it.
    
    re .-1
    
    You can call me anything you like, It's a free country. I have my way of
    doing and saying things, you have yours. These don't have to go
    together. The world is big enough for both opinions. If you don't like
    me, that's allright, many others who have similiar lifestyle as mine
    do. Many others who don't have my lifestyle don't like me. If they let
    me go my way I let them go their way. Why should I be upset if somebody
    didn't like me or has something against the things I do/believe in.
    It won't stop me doing them.
    
    	
    	R

    Not liking your choice of "jokes" is not the same as not liking you,
    y'know.

    
    
    No, indeed but it was the idea I wanted to show. Translation problem,
    I did put it too hard.
    
    If you would call me an *sshole I would interpret that as: you don't
    like me. I ment to say I really don't care if people do that. They Just
    shouldn't come to me if they needed help, neither will I ask any from
    them. (except for work related ofcourse)
    
    	R 

    
>HOO78C::FOKKENROOD "bicycle repair man"
    
    Well, you can't be all bad if you're a bicyclist.
    

    
    re .-1
    
    >you can't be all bad
    
    
    Sh*t, I have to work harder.
    
    	R
    8-)

From Usenet rec.humor.funny:

A man goes into a drug store run by a feminist and says: "Excuse me, Miss,
but I would like a dozen condoms."

She replies, "Don't 'Miss' me, Mister."

He answers, "In that case, I'll take thirteen."

Subj:	No comment
Subj:	I *love* it...

[forwards removed]

        Three priests are walking down the beach, when one of
    them stubs his toe on something in the sand. He digs it out,
    and lo and behold it's a lamp with a cork in the top. He rubs
    it, and the cork pops out and there springs a genie to life
    before them. 
    
        The genie says, "ok, each of you gets a wish". 
    
        So the first priest says, "well I don't really need much
    in the way of worldly wealth, all my needs are met, and I
    have wont for nothing. But if I could ask for anything, I'd
    ask for twice as much wisdom as I now have."
    
        The genie says, "so be it". Poof! The first priest looks
    happy. 
    
        So the second priest says, "well, I have no needs either,
    the church has provided for all of my needs. But I, too, lack
    wisdom. Let me have five times more wisdom".
    
        The genie says, "so be it". Poof! The second priest looks
    very happy. 
    
        So the third priest says, "well, I have a great need for
    wisdom. Please bless me with seven times more wisdom". 
    
        The genie says, "are you sure? Do you know what you are
    asking for?"
    
        And the third priest says, "yes! Seven times more
    wisdom".

    
        The genie says, "so be it". Poof! The third priest
    becomes a woman.

Subj:	FWD: Thought you might like this... 
Subj:	Thought you might like this... 

Women against Hierarchical and Object-Oriented Programming (WHOOP)
 
It is long past time for us as programmers to address the issues of
women.  The evils of the male-dominated hierarchical system have long
been known, yet we continue to encourage this tendency by writing
hierarchical programs.  This is wrong.  This is bad.  This is EVIL!
 
All subroutines in a program are equal.  None is any 'better' or higher
than any other - yet we talk about 'top down' programming.  The connection
with patriarchical, 'man on top, women on bottem' sex is obvious and
disgusting.
 
The rigid hierarchical organization of subroutines MUST GO if we are to
achieve equality.  It is the same hierarchical system of thought that causes
us to organize our programs with levels that causes women to be degraded
in our society.  Programs should be organized consensually, with all
subroutines on the same level.  Communication between subroutines should
be encouraged, and they should not be limited to rigid, well defined
roles.  To do otherwise is to encourage our evil, patriarchical society -
and to damage its moral fiber.  Some people (and I hope you're not one
of them) may say that to organize our programs in such a manner would
be inefficient.  This is balderdash!  Not only is this unproven, but the
mere idea that efficiency could ever be considered more important than
Political Correctness and respect for people is in itself an evil, 
typically male, patriarchical idea.
 
The evils of 'objectification' have long been known - yet we are teaching
millions and millions of impressionable young programmers about the 
benefits of 'Object Oriented' programming.  This evil practice _must cease_.
Subroutines should not be thought of as objects - this encourages people
to treat each other as objects!
 
Objectification is bad.   Hierarchy is bad.  Together, they are a disaster.
We must unite and stamp out these horrid practices, and encourage feeling-
oriented consensually-organized highly-communicative programs - before
it is too late.   Our sick programs are a mirror of our sick society -
and we as programmers can, by organizing our programs in Politically
Correct manners help stamp out the evil repressive thought patterns which
degrade women (oh, and men, too).
 
:-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :-> :->

    Actually this would have been very funny if it weren't such a thinly 
    veiled attack against feminists.
    
    The use of obviously mindless rhetoric, continual uses of words like
    "evil" and the owning of the term "politically correct" are obviously
    meant to make fun of feminists.  (I have seen this sort of parodying
    before.)
    
    If it had been done in the actual style of feminist rhetoric and
    theory, instead of an exageratted parody, it would have been a very
    funny commentary on over-sensitivity on the part of feminists (not that
    I think most feminists are over-sensitive, but I can appreciate humor
    about it) as well as an embellishment on the "object" and "hierarchy"
    puns.
    
    Some things are much funnier as dead-pan than as a slap-stick parody. 
    Swift's "A Modest Proposal" would not have been at all amusing if it
    had been done in an outrageous style.  But instead, we wrote as if he
    were entirely serious - straightfaced and deadpan - and the piece was 
    instead a funny and very biting social commentary.
    
    I am considering redoing this piece to actually make it funny, rather
    than a stupid exagerated parody.
    
    D!

        re .149,
        
>>                           -< it had such potential! >-
>>
>>    Actually this would have been very funny if it weren't such a thinly 
>>    veiled attack against feminists.
        
        That's why I posted the last two here instead of in topic
        36 "Feminist Humor".
        
        Dan

    >That's why I posted the last two here instead of in topic
    >36 "Feminist Humor".
    
    Yes of course, wasn't critizing your choice in posting it.
    
    My hypothetical rewrite would *still* not be appropriate for "feminist
    humor" because it would still be humour against feminists, but it would
    be *funny* humour against feminists.  (In my most humble opinion. :-)
    
    What made it unfunny wasn't the "attack againsts feminists" part, but
    the "thinly-veiled" part.
    
    D!

        re .-1, funny/unfunny vs feminist/against feminist 
        
        You are right, what I should have looked for was a topic
        for unfunny humor.  Now I'll have to go back and reread
        the earlier replies to see if this is the right place.
        
        Dan

	Well, I'd like to say "codswallop", but I haven't got time!


	Heather

        ... just received this from my daughter on the "Left Coast"...

I dunno whether this has appeared on-net before but I hadn't seen it, so it's
your tough luck...

===== forwarding message from The Kiddo =====
This is great!  Just what we've been waiting for!  Read on...
 
And remember the comedian who made all those observations about so-called
"typical female buying patterns" and condoms:  we buy on sale with coupons;
we'd go for the Giant Economy Size Hefties; we'd look for the little cinch sack
for ease in carrying to the curbside...

===== end forwarding message, you're on your own :-) Dan =====

                     A Girl's Guide To Condoms
                        -- by Mimi Coucher         
 
WARNING: Boys cannot read this.  If you are a boy and are reading this, stop
immediately.  The following article is chock-full of highly intimate girl
secrets that will be 10 times more embarrassing than any TV commercial for
feminine-hygiene products you've ever seen.  So quit it.  I mean it.  You'll
be sorry.
                             ===============
                             
Condoms Demystified
 
There are basically three kinds of condoms: unlubricated latex, lubricated
latex, and lambskin.  The lambskins are no good because they haven't been
proven to be a barrier to infection.  Anyway, they're really made of lambies
and that makes us sad, especially around Easter time.  (The real reason we
don't like them is that they actually smell like lamb.  One is tempted to
lubricate them with mint jelly.)
 
There are variations on the basic latex condoms.  Some condoms are
prelubricated, with spermicidal jelly, even.  Others are not.  Strictly
B.Y.O.K.Y.
 
The strangest variation by far is the ribbed latex condom.  Why are these
condoms ribbed?  This is supposed to be stimulating?  Should one attempt to
play washboard tunes on it?  This is just part of a big problem with
condoms.  Condoms were, and are, designed by men.
 
If Girls Designed Condoms...
 
What a wonderful world it would be.  Skip the ribbing, skip the lube.  If
women designed condoms there is no question that they would be padded.
 
"But size doesn't matter!" comes a chorus of voices.  (The loudest voices
come from boys who are peeking.  Stop that right now.  Turn to the sports
page immediately.)  Sure *length* doesn't matter.  But give any girl a small
dose of truth serum and ask her about width.
 
Admit it.  If padded condoms were placed on the market, hordes of screaming
women would storm their local druggists and dash out with tote bags full.
Unfortunately, it wouldn't work.  After all, there is that ticklish issue of
boy sensitivity, which we can't overlook, even if we occasionally want to.
Padded condoms would rob boys of the skin-to-skin senstion they already
claim condoms rob them of.  And we can't have that.
 
No, we modern women, being kind and sensitive lovers, would design
whisper-soft condoms, completely transparent and microscopically thin.  The
paisley, rainbow, and floral-print condoms we designed would be strictly
novelty items, kept for special occasions only.  Ditto the condoms with cute
sayings: "Hang in there, baby, Friday's coming"; "My girlfriend went to
Florida and all I got was this lousy condom"; and the classic "I'm with
stupid" (arrow pointing back toward the boy).  Other specialty items would
include the male-ego condom, which, like black olives, come in three
sizes: jumbo, colossal, and humongous.  Naughty subversives would enjoy the
Karen Finley assortment, colorful, decorative condoms that turn ordinary
penises into bananas, hotdogs, yams, and more.
 
But I digress.  The best place to buy condoms is your local massive
drugstore that has them on display, self-serve, just like corn pads or
athlete's foot spray.
 
So go shopping.  Dress cool, hold your head high, read labels, make your
selection.  Be assured that most popular brands come with little instruction
booklets much like the ones found in boxes of Tampax (uh oh --don't mix them
up!).  While at the drugstore, be sure to purchase at least one of the
following items: Tickle anti-perspirant, Ban Roll-on, or any of the Calvin
Klein line of men's grooming aids.  You'll need these for important condom
experiments at home.
 
At home, be alone.  Light candles.  Play inspiring music; any record by Rick
James will do.  Remove one of the condoms from its packet.  Examine it
carefully.  Then put it to work.  Experiment with your slippery new friends;
whip those sons-of-gummi-worms into shape.  Recruit those deodorant bottles
and practice, practice, practice.
 
And how about some new nicknames for the old standbys?  Love skins.  Slicks.
Wet suits.  Silk stockings.  Eight-by-two glossies.
 
Soon enough, you'll be happy and relaxed, perfectly in control of those
silly little slips o' sin.  But wait.  Something's missing.  Oh yes, the
hard part.  I mean the good part.  I mean, both.
 
The Condomed Man
 
It is far, far easier to start them on condoms when the relationship is
young.  In fact, the condom is a terrific tool of seduction when you're
ready to make the leap between the sheets.  Call that someone on the phone
and say to him, casual-like, "I just bought a new kind of condom and I'm
dying to try it out... want to come over?"  Or when out on the town with
your paramour, and the clock on the clubhouse wall says thump thump thump,
push that hunk against the wall and growl, "Listen, buddy.  I've got a
condom in my pocket and I'm not afraid to use it.  We're going home."
 
Welcome To The Safety Patrol
 
Before you know it, you'll be a veritable connoisseur of condoms. You'll
allow them to drop casually out of your purse in front of attractive men at
cocktail parties.  You'll dispense them to friends, give lessons, perhaps
even roll your own.  "Oh, handsome boyfriend," you'll soon sigh, "I've
always wanted to see you in rubber."
 
And he won't mind one bit.
 
			MORE CONDOMS
 
We've Come A Long Way...
 
We thought we were pretty darn smart, all right.  In the '60s we became
liberated and bravely marched into our neighborhood women's-health
collective, had our blood tested and our bodies examined, and marched out
armed with a pink carousel of little tablets and a new attitude.  We related
to our sex partners, we discovered the joys of uninhibited physical thrills,
we took our pills regularly.  In the '70s we were sorry for it and went en
masse to our gynecologists to be fitted for diaphragms.  We carried them
everywhere, became geniuses of delicate timing.  We tried IUDs, flirted with
cervical caps worn at jaunty angles.  We researched and discussed the issues
with candor and aplomb; ask any high-spirited modern girl and she'll tell
you all about the G-spot, male menopaus, the Hite report, impotence,
arousal, pregnancy, the Kama Sutra, birth control.
 
Ready for the '80s?  Hell, we thought we were ready for anything. Anything
but this.  No woman, not even the most avid reader of sex manuals or
sophisticated connoisseur of amour, is prepared for the experience of
walking to the corner drugstore and asking the freckle-faced adolescent
behind the counter for a package of... condoms.
 
OLD FACT: Condoms aren't sexy.  Neither are rubbers, sheaths, prophylactics,
Coney Island white fish, raincoats, skins, safes, rubber booties, socks.
The package says, "Sold for the prevention of venereal disease."  The boys
say, "Sold for the prevention of love".  Oft compared to taking a bath with
socks on, the condom ritual was the classic bane to the romantic advances of
bumbling '50s teens.
 
NEW FACT: Unless you can account for all the blood transfusions, intravenous
activities, and sexual escapades of your partner and your partner's
partners, you'd best get used to the idea, right now.  "Say," you blink
innocently, "shouldn't the boy be taking some responsibility for this
dangerous transaction?"  Yes, of course.  But I wouldn't count on it.  You
know how they are.  And here's a horrifying thought: not only are you
protecting yourself against your partner, you're protecting your partner
against *you*.
 
Oh, cheer up.  It beats abstinence.
 
Buy Now, Lay Later
 
Don't even pretend for one minute that you're never going to do "it" again.
You will.  So brace yourself for the new shopping experience of the '80s.
 
First take: you enter a quiet, out-of-the-way drugstore that has a display
of walkers and bedpans in the window.  Confident that no one you know will
ever spot you here, you stride over to the kindly old pharmacist at the back
of the store.  "Excuse me," you venture a little shakily. "Where are your
rubbers?"  You are gently guided to a Totes display in Aisle Three.  To save
face, you buy a pair of men's size 11s and ditch them in a corner trash can,
determined to do better next time.
 
Second take: the next store you choose is a little larger, and crowded.  But
you can't find the condoms anywhere.  There is a line at the cash register.
You stand in it, patiently, rehearsing your lines.  You arrive.  "Excuse
me," you politely whisper to the surly loud-mouthed Iranian behind the
counter, "where are your prophylactics?" "Right here," he shouts.  "What
kind ya want?" "Uh, Trojans, I guess."  "Lubricated or nonlubricated?" he
bellows. "Ya want ribs?  We got the ribs kinds."  By this time, the entire
store is involved in the drama, the crowd behind you is silently hanging on
your every word, and you're sure that that's your third-grade teacher who
just walked in.  "Oh, uh, skip it, thanks.  I'll just tell my little brother
that he'll have to buy his own."
 
Don't be discouraged.  Buying condoms is a tough job, but somebody's got to
do it.  And here's a heartening fact that I bet even *you* didn't know, Ms.
Modern: marketing tests prove that women buy more condoms than men do, and
have for years.  That's why, ever since the late '70s, condom packages have
featured air-brushed photos of couples holding hands at sunset.  They
thought we'd like that.  We don't, but it will have to do till pictures of
Mick Jagger, Mel Gibson, or beautiful shoes come along.
 
===== Tha-tha-tha-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!!!  :-)  Dan =====
PS -- "beautiful SHOES" ???  Have I been missing something???  D

    Dan, you did it again.  Thanks!  that was wonderful!
    
    Sara
    

    :-)  Thanks for the tickle!  That was funny!!
    
    -jc

       <<< HYDRA::DISK$NOTES$LIBRARY:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DAVE_BARRY.NOTE;1 >>>
                       -<  Dave Barry - Noted humorist  >-
================================================================================
Note 378.0                Mimi Coucher on Prophylactics               10 replies
BCSE::RODERICK "Lisa Roderick"                      155 lines  27-JAN-1988 09:04
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Yes, this isn't by Dave, but it's at least as good as his. Enjoy.
    
    --Lisa

		Sources say: A Girl's Guide To Condoms
			-- by Mimi Coucher

                        -< Please give credit to Mimi Coucher >-
    
    Look again: he did.  The title of the piece says
    
    			A Girl's Guide To Condoms
        			-- by Mimi Coucher
    
    D!

                                 Thanks D!
    
    (-: NB -- This note's title is just a generalized pun on the author's 
      name, I couldn't believe the co-inky-dinky, no particular person 
                               was intended!!  :-)

Hey Mods, feel free to move or delete this thang, I'm sure it's been around
the net for a LOOONG time, but since it was the first time it'd traversed my
own mailbox, I hadda do *something* with it...  :-)

(And for the non-U*IX-literati, "Man pages" is the technogeekish way of saying
"Manual Pages," they don't mean anything sexist by that, surely not...  Dan :-)

===== begin =====

Man pages are getting more interesting...

SEX(6)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual               SEX(6)
 
 
 
NAME
     sex - have sex
 
SYNOPSIS
     sex [ options ] ...  [ username ] ...
 
DESCRIPTION
     Sex  allows the invoker to have sex with the user(s) speci-
     fied in the command line.  If no users are specified, they
     are taken from the LOVERS environment variable.  Options to
     make things more interesting are as follows:
 
     -1   masturbate
 
     -a   external stimulus (aphrodisiac) option
 
     -b   buggery
 
     -B<animal>
          bestiality with <animal>
 
     -c   chocolate sauce option
 
     -C   chaining option (cuffs included) (see also -m -s -W)
 
     -d<file>
          get a date with the features described in <file>
 
     -e   exhibitionism (image sent to all machines on the net)
 
     -f   foreplay option
 
     -F   nasal sex with plants
 
     -i   coitus interruptus (messy!)
 
     -j   jacuzzi option (California sites only)
 
     -l   leather option
 
     -m   masochism (see -s)
 
     -M   triple parallel (Menage a Trois) option
 
     -n   necrophilia (if target process is not dead, program
          kills it)
 
     -o   oral option
 
     -O   parallel access (orgy)
 
     -p   debug option (proposition only)
 
     -P   pedophilia (must specify a child process)
 
 
 
Printed 2/15/87              2/15/87                            1
 
 
 
 
 
 
SEX(6)              EUNUCH Programmer's Manual               SEX(6)
 
 
 
     -q   quickie (wham, bam, thank you, ma'am)
 
     -s   sadism (target must set -m)
 
     -S   sundae option
 
     -v   voyeurism (surveys the entire net)
 
     -w   whipped cream option
 
     -W   whips (see also -s, -C, and -m)
 
ENVIRONMENT
     LOVERS
          is a list of default partners which will be used if
          none are specified in the command line.  If any are
          specified, the values in LOVERS is ignored.
 
FILES
     /usr/lib/sex/animals          animals for bestiality
 
     /usr/lib/sex/blackbook        possible dates
 
     /usr/lib/sex/sundaes          sundae recipes
 
     /usr/lib/sex/s&m              sado-masochistic equipment
 
 
 
BUGS
     ^C (quit process) may leave the user very unsatisfied.
 
     ^Z (stop process) is usually quite messy.
 
MAN AUTHOR
     Author prefers to be anonymous.
 
HISTORY
     Oldest program ever.

    
    
    RE:  Sex(6)
    
    Each manual page also has a "see also" list as follows:
    
    See Also:
    
    Lovemaking(6), Lust(6), Undress(2), Bed(1), Babies(4)
    

    
    
    RE:  .163
    
    Thanks for the correction.  I have never seen a UN*X man page without
    "See Also."
    
    Thought it was humorous, though.  (i.e. topic title)
    

This is definitely NOT "feminist humor" but as it's about Brooke Shields I
think I'll pass along this "Letterman List" I just received from my daughter,
and post it here.

I hasten to add in preface that from what I know of Brooke Shields she's an
intelligent and personable young woman with some talent.  I've never seen any
of her movies but I *do* charge her at least two points for being doddered over
for yea these many years by Bob Hope...  but at any rate, she *IS* in the
public eye and is hence fair game.  I imagine similar stuff could be adduced
about...  who...?  John Travolta?  no, too travoltin'.  George Plimpton?  John
Lithgow?  Anyhow, here goes...

Everybody got their satire hats on?  OK, read ahead...

             TOP TEN PAPERS WRITTEN BY BROOKE SHIELDS AT PRINCETON
 
10) William Shakespeare: His Poetry Rates a Ten
 
 9) A Chemical Process in Three Stages: Lather, Rinse, Repeat
 
 8) Girls with Thin Eyebrows: Hideous Freaks of Nature
 
 7) Cliff Notes Versus Monarch Notes: Two Views of 'Hamlet'
                 
 6) Circles, Flowers, a Smiling Guy: So Many Ways to Dot the "I"
 
 5) The Pushy Overbearing Mother Figure in Literature
 
 4) Pretty Leaves I Found Outside Somewhere
 
 3) Black Americans: What I Hope to Say When I Meet One
 
 2) Philosophy: Why Don't They Spell It with an "F"?
 
 1) The Male Organ: What It Might Look Like

    btw fwiw
    the son of good friends of ours was in Brooke Shields 's class
    at princeton...
    
    he said that she was quite an ordinary student, bright, freindly
    and not stuck up..
    
    BJ