Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    Would an E-hug help any, Alice?
    
    hughughughughughughug
    
    E

    Hugs Alice, separation from the one(s) you love is always difficult.
    
    set hat=pollyanna on
    
    While you have this time alone, take time to enjoy being yourself
    spend some effort on your own personhood.  It can be of great value in
    a relationship to understand more fully yourself as an individual as
    well as yourself as part of a couple.  
    
    Be thankful for the good parts:
    	It is ONLY 4 weeks (and could easily have been much longer)
    	He will be coming back
    	Love
    	A great reunion to come
    and many other things.
    
    set hat=pollyanna off
    
    Take care (and more friendly hugs)
    jimc

    =wn= has been a help already - I knew it would be. And I appreciate the
    Pollyanna stuff.
    
    By the way, before anyone tells me to pull myself together and I'm not
    the only one and so on, I know all that, but it's good to share it all
    the same.
    
    Thanks for the hugs.
    
    Alice T.
    
    PS. Every time he leaves, I am reminded of the 12 weeks I was away in
    Boston, MA, last summer. I think each parting is made worse than it
    need be by the fact that I can remember how bad that time was. Anyway
    [pout, pout] I am getting better.

I know what you're going through.  Thanks for sharing.  I like the
advice given in .2 as well.

hugs,
john

    well Alice I think you're cute as heck.  I'm sorry you hurt, but it is
    so nice to read such a loving note!
    
    Sara
    

    Do they have phones near the dig location?
       The daily ring sounds as though it is quite in order.
    If only to ring once, and begin the "you say goodbye first" ritual
    right away.
    Cindi

    Hey, Alice, I know exactly how you feel.
    
    It passes.  The only thing I can say is keep busy!  Whenever I was
    alone andbored, I would start thinking and thinking about him, and the
    time took forever to pass.  So I learned to go out with friends a lot,
    started a lot of hobbies that summer, etc.  In fact, I even got a
    second job - I didn't have a minute free all summer and it helped a
    lot.  I can't say I got a lot done in that time period, but it helped
    cut the pain...
    
    D!

    I don't know if there are phones there - he'll be living in a tent -
    but he said he'd write with any phone number or address I can use.
    
    Anyhow, things are getting better: Tonight, a girlfriend I work with
    and I are going to have a meal at my place and then go to see Thelma
    and Louise at the cinema (Garrick - my fiance - never wanted to see
    that). And tomorrow night, loads of the other I.T.s from work, plus
    three of the people I live with are going to see this singer (oh! he's
    gorgeous and sings wonderfully - old sixties and seventies rock songs,
    like Monkees, Kinks, etc... plus a few eighties, like Billy Idol and
    Bryan Adams, etc...) at a bar in town (he's there every Thursday, at
    the Boozy Blues pub on the London road, for anyone out there who lives
    in Reading).
    
    Thanks for the support - and I'll let you know how wonderful it feels
    when I see him again!
    
    Alice T.

RE:     <<< Note 966.8 by RDGENG::LIBRARY "unconventional conventionalist" >>>
                         -< In the velvet darkness... >-

>    I don't know if there are phones there - he'll be living in a tent -
>    but he said he'd write with any phone number or address I can use.

My SO is out camping (leading an outward bound course) in Yosemite
and so I got my one phone call yesterday when she was at the Ranger
station which was nice.  I've been writing altough now she can't get
any mail either for the last two weeks.  I've been using the time
to do stuff for me and get strong.  I have a lot of codependant
tendancies so actually this is has been a good time to work on myself
and get strong for when she gets back. The other fun thing has been to
think of romantic things to do at the airport.  So far, I thought I'd
make a big welcome home sign with a big heart on it, get a dozen
roses, and get some sparking cider and champagne like glasses for when
she gets off the plane.

I hope your time apart is good for you and that you do what you need
to care of yourself and that you have a great reunion when he gets
back.

peace,
john

Sigh, me too. My SO is in LA and even though he is back on the weekend it seems
the weeks are longer. At least he has access to a phone and calls me twice a
week. Of course, he spends more time dialed into the office with his laptop. :*(
Next two weeks it's Omaha but at least he'll get home at a decent hour on Friday.

I make flower arrangments to leave on his kitchen table and try to make his 
first moments home special. I want him to spend the hour drive home from the
airport wondering what treat he'll get this week. 

I have a bit of codependant traits to deal with myself. I'm still trying to 
decide how much of it is a problem and how much is natural. We keep being told
to be complete unto ourselves. I can't help but think that has been taken to
it's own extreme. liesl

    OK, so people have said it may be a good idea if I do something
    worthwhile for myself over these few weeks - so, I'm open to
    suggestions as to what to do this weekend. And I'll try to follow up
    any reasonable suggestion. I'm going to phone a friend to come and
    visit me, but if he can't come, I'll be on my own. I'm determined to
    make the best of it.
    
    Alice T.

    
    Go golfing.  Or fishing.
    

    Well, if you were in New England I'd have a bunch of activities I could
    suggest, but I have no idea what there is to do in Reading, England...
    
    take a day trip?  Work in your garden?  Work on a project (build a
    bookshelf or something?)  Go dancing, try to meet new people?  Spend
    the weekend noting?  :-)
    
    D!

    
    Alice -
    The shortage of things to do aroud Reading is not unfamiliar to me ;-)
    
    Call me if you want - we can discuss options.
    
    'gail

    All this stuff about people missing their SOs is making me
    sick :-). Seriously, for various reasons (including the death of
    both my parents) it's been a couple of years since I've been in that
    situation: feeling so much about someone that you miss him when he's
    away. I had been dealing with this fairly well, but I just relapsed
    because all these notes reminded me of what I'm missing!
    
    Eileen
    
    P.S. Mods feel free to move this.

	Fishing was a good idea, their are loads of gravel pits which
	have been made into nice areas with water sports.

	Theale Lake is 3 quid a day - if the water bailiff comes around.
	If he doesn't, it's free.
	The Kennet and Avon canal, and river Kennet also give loads of
	places to fish, you need to be a member of Reading and District
	angling for most of these. I have all of the addresses/info if you'd
	like them.

	Their is the sailing club at Theale lake if you enjoy that, and 
	waterskiing at Kirtons farm and Sonning lake.

	Triathlons are "in" at the moment.

	The Reading University might be a good place to try, they run many 
	events, and there are people their who are adjusting at being away 
	from family and friends.

	Get the Reading Chronicle or Newbury Weekly news, they often have
	info on local events, like craft fairs, antique fares, vintage cars
	fetes etc., and as this weekend is a bank holiday then there is usually
	"extras" on.
	The Reading whatever - music stuff - is on this weekend
	
	Travelling will be bad this weekend, so if you do decide to "get
	away" to the coast, leave early and pack a few cold drinks.

	You could try the RDGENG::READING notes conference for ideas.

	Heather

    This weekend, I went on a major cycle-explore, including a little
    picnic by the Thames at Sonning Lock. And I had my legs "done" (waxed)
    for the first time too.
    
    Next weekend, I have a friend coming to visit - and we have things
    planned to do.
    
    I've bought the Catalyst for the month. I'll buy the Chronicle on the
    way home today.
    
    How's that for positive!
    
    However: this morning when the post came, I ran downstairs (from the
    bathroom - not the bedroom, that's downstairs, too) and I had the
    feeling - you know the one - that it was going to be a letter from HIM.
    It was a congratulations card from my parents on passing my exam. How
    different can you get?
    
    Alice T.

    I got a letter from him today!!!
    
    And
    
    He's coming to visit for a day/night over the weekend!!
    
    Alice T.

    That's  great Alice