Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    I'm physically self-conscious.  And when it comes to trying new things,
    I'm terrified I'll fail, and become the universe's next laughing-stock.
    
    I'm totally uncomfortable with team sports where everything depends on
    ONE person, to the point where if they drop the ball, or miss the
    target, or whatever, the whole team will lose.  I don't play these
    sports, and I don't watch them.  Individual-competition sports (diving,
    gymnastics, figure-skating) I do enjoy watching though....
    
    When speaking in front of crowds (acting, presenting) I'm afraid I'll
    goof and forget and my tongue will get tangled, but I'm working on this
    one...
    
    -Jody
    

    
    
    i lose words in my head too.  sometimes i will remember the word or
    phrase i was looking for 15 minutes later, and then i have to decide
    if i want to say it out loud.  on the one hand, it is proof that i
    did have something to add, on the other, it is proof that i am totally
    absent minded to not recall immediately what it was i was thinking.
    
.0  To put it bluntly, I'm spastic.
    
    so a slamming pit must be your natural element!  :^)
    
    

    Do you want it alphabetically or in order of importance!! :-)
    
    I am 5'11" and hate to wear flats, so usually it's a 2 - 3 inch heel.
    Then I turn around (on occaision) and realize I am the tallest person
    in the room.  I feel like I should be selling veggies for the jolly
    green giant!
    
    I'm also like a bull in a china shop.  This generally doesn't bother me
    too much-my embarrassment is usually proportionate to the amount if
    witness availiable at the precise moment that I humiliate myself :-)
    
    I'm not bad when addressing a large group of people when I'm prepared
    for it, but if you are in a group of 20 or so folks and conversing
    with 3 or 4 of them, then you realize the whole room is quiet and
    everyone is listening.....Gawd I hate that!
    
    
    That should do it for now-I'll be back if I think of some more!
    
    Christine

    
    	Physically:
    
    	My feet...I have very long toes and my third toes have bunions	
    	from my shoes.
    
    	I have bony knees
    
    	Where my ribs meet, in the middle of my chest is an extra bone
    	growth that sticks out a 1/4-1/2 inch.
    
    	Emotionally and psychologically:
    
    	I tend to be loud at times, especially when nervous
    
    	Because of being an 'outcast' as a child I am still very unsure
    	of myself and my abilities
    
    	I get scared very easily if I lose my way while driving in
    	a city  or town I don't know.
    
    	JJ
    
    

    re. 2 slam pit
    
    Actually, I would be crushed in about 3 seconds in the pit.  I've been
    accidently caught in them, and I start to get injured if I don't get
    out in a couple seconds.  I just stand on the edge and headbang (you can
    see the stage better too, because the crowd in front of you is cleared
    out.)
    
    Another thing I'm really self-conscious about is my skin.  It's
    perfectly white.  A whole summer of tanning might make it look like
    other people's skin does normally.  Now white skin can look good at
    times (I like it against a black dress, I bet there are death rockers
    who would kill for my skin =} ), but when you're outside, the sun just
    completely washes it out, when I wear a bathing suit I look like Night
    of the Living Dead.   I guess it's all a matter of preference, I happen
    to think somewhat darker complexions look better, so I'm self-conscious
    about my skin.  (Although when I see people who have obviously been 
    frying all day I cringe, I'd like mine natural, please)
    
    Lisa

    
    Well, I have allergies and even if I am on medication, I still
    sneeze a lot, at the worst possible moments. Eg. I'm allergic to
    tobacco smoke and strong perfume, there were times that I had to leave
    some fancy restaurants because I couldn't stop sneezing and sniffing.
                                                        
    
    Eva.

Social: I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  I am loud when I
        should be quiet. I make jokes no one gets.  I keep going on a line
        of conversation when everyone else has gone on to something else.
        I put my foot in my mouth all the time.  *Everytime* I am in a 
        group of more than three people.  :-(  The option is to just shut
        up, and I do that a lot, too, but then I never make any friends.

Physical: Recently, it's been my limp.  :-)  In general, in the past it has
        been my weight. I was uncomfortable the morepeople could see of my
        body - I hated wearing shorts and bathing suits.  (Not enough to
        stop when it was hot though.)

D!

    I have a tremor in my hands and when people notice it, it gets worse. 
    Let's see... there's the schnozz, the "intellectual chest", someone
    told me I had ugly feet once, admittedly it was immediately after
    prying off some three-piece-suit shoes...
    
    When I get the idea that I'm monopolizing the conversation (yeah,
    sometimes it takes a WHILE for me to get that idea), I clam up, even if
    I'm SUPPOSED to be monopolizing the conversation.  
    
    Hey Lisa, I also spill stuff at dinner, walk into doors, and am a
    lovely shade of milk.  Let's tour the French Riviera some time.
    
    Actually, I guess I'm self-conscious whenever I'm not caught up in some
    physical, mental or emotional enthusiasm... luckily, I have a lot of
    those.
    
    Ray

Walking in the snow.

My feet stick out some when I walk, and kids used to make fun of the
tracks I'd leave in the snow.  Even now I'm totally self-aware when I
walk in the snow, and I position my feet unnaturally so I don't leave
duck tracks behind me.

Carla

    Holding up my end of a nonwork related conversation. If it involves 2
    people and I'm one of them, then it's difficult enough. If it's 3 or
    more people, then I usually just listen and throw in an occasional
    comment. I let the other people dominate the topic. 
    
    I also tend to "zone" out a lot. I'll be saying something and stop for
    about 10 seconds in the middle of the sentence. Then I'll finish it up.
    It's even taken me about 8 or 9 minutes to write this reply because of
    that.
    
    My stomcah will always rumble in a meeting. Even if I've just eaten a
    big meal and am quite full, I'll still sit there and it will start
    making noises. These noises get louder and louder until they become
    audible to the people around me.
    
    Phil

        One of my biggest social problems is I CAN NOT remember people's
        names!  It's so embarrassing when you're with your SO and you
        want to introduce them but you can't exactly say, "This is my
        SO, Mark.  Mark, this is <somebody-I-spent-4-years-of-high-school-
        with-but-still-can't-remember-their-name>."  I tend to try to
        avoid the whole situation, which can sometimes make me look like
        a snob.  Other times I'm almost certain I remember their name but
        still don't want to take a chance.

        Another thing I'm horrified about is having something stuck in
        my teeth when I talk to someone.  I'm always taking quick mirror
        checks after meals, or making Mark tell me if I big gob of lettuce
        stuck between my two front teeth.  Yuck.

        Sue

I thought of another one....

While I have never been tested as having a hearing problem, I seem to have
a lot of trouble following ordinary conversation.  If the place is quiet, 
the person is sitting near me, and speaking fairly distinctly, I have no
problem.  But in a bar with music playing, or in the cafeteria with background
noise and folks sitting a few seats away from me, I can't follow the 
conversation at all.  When people are talking *to* me, I find myself saying
"What?" just about every single sentance.  When the are talking amongst
themselves, I have no idea what they are talking about, and when everyone
starts laughing at a joke, I feel very left out, so I ask the person
nearest me "What is everyone talking about?"  That person usually mumbles
something useless that I can't understand anyway, and goes back to laughing.
This also means that often I will end up adding the same information as
someone else, or making the same joke, because I didn't hear hir say it
already.  This makes people think I am dumb and socially inept.  

People get tired of repeating themselves endlessly when i say "What?" so if I
don't understand them on the second or third try, I just give up and nod
knowingly.  This makes me appear *very* stupid if what they were saying turns
out to be a *question*!

Similarly, I am constantly missing lines in movies and plays and such, and
annoy people to death by turning to the person next to me and saying 
"What did she say?"

I hate never knowing what's going on, and I also hate asking to be filled
in, but those seem to be the only choices. I usually end up opting for the
former, and not saying much.

D!

	Re: .15 (D!)

>While I have never been tested as having a hearing problem, I seem to have
>a lot of trouble following ordinary conversation.  If the place is quiet, 
>the person is sitting near me, and speaking fairly distinctly, I have no
>problem.  But in a bar with music playing, or in the cafeteria with background
>noise and folks sitting a few seats away from me, I can't follow the 

	...or in the car when there's a lot of road noise

>conversation at all.  When people are talking *to* me, I find myself saying
>"What?" just about every single sentance.  When the are talking amongst

 ...

>Similarly, I am constantly missing lines in movies and plays and such, and
>annoy people to death by turning to the person next to me and saying 
>"What did she say?"



	I have the same problems sometimes (and my hearing has always tested 
	out fine as well).  It often seems to me that I am hearing *too* 
	well, i.e. the background noise/music/conversation/soundtrack seems
	to be as loud as the conversation or whatever it is that I'm trying 
	to follow.  Sometimes I'm embarrassed when I have to keep saying
	"What?", other times I just get annoyed.


	>>AL<<

    Reading the replies to this topic has been a revelation.  Each one I
    read I can find something and go "me too, me too".
    
    And I thought it was just me.

    All the typical insecure female body problems. So I frequently tend to
    dress in outrageous colors and clothes. Like I'm daring someone to make
    fun of my body after I've dressed like a joke. When I dress normally I
    feel underdressed, like I'm letting down my image.

    I'm way too loud at times and then revert to terminal shyness at
    others. I'm often saying things that were best left unsaid even if I
    think they were funny. My sense of humor verges on the bizzare at
    times.

    I can ride my horse for miles through the forest and always find my way
    home no problem. I get into a car in the city and I turn into wrong way
    peachfuzz. I get lost all the time.

    My eyesight isn't that great (even with contacts) and I have difficulty
    recognising people at a distance. They have to walk right on top of me
    before I know who they are, they think I'm ignoring them. I forget
    names all the time. Even of people I know well. liesl

    i was a snob in high school.  or rather, i found out afterwards
    that i was.  i always thought i was quiet and terminally shy, although
    i did hang out with the soccer team (seeing as i was on it).  other
    people who i didn't really get to know until years later said that
    it seemed like i was a soccer snob.
    
    i used to be conscious about my glasses, but now i can stick in
    contacts when i choose, and i also choose glasses that i enjoy
    wering more.  and i also get a kick out of people's reactions when
    i switch from one to the other.  
    
    

    I'm really glad I started this...
    
    the names.....must be repeated about 50 times before I'll remember.....
    this is TERRIBLE in a business mtg.  I can recognize the face, where I
    met the person, what we talked about.....but I can't remember the name.
    
    I also am quite absent-minded at times, so I make a list of what I
    have to do....and almost always forget to look at the list!!!!
    Grrrrr.....
    
    Lisa

    > the names.....must be repeated about 50 times before I'll remember.....
    > this is TERRIBLE in a business mtg. 
    
    Ah, I have a good trick for these situations, if you're lucky enough to
    be sitting down around the table when introductions get made...just
    have a piece of paper out in front of you and jot the names down
    casually as the intros go around, diagrammatically!  That is, put the
    names all over the paper, in approximate correspondence to where the
    people are sitting.  I also use this in classes.  Then, as the meeting
    or class progresses, I frequently check people's faces and look at
    their names...then I test myself, when someone speaks up (um, that was
    Janet, right?...).  It really helps in meetings (well, it works for
    me, anyway.)
    
    DougO

    Re: the hearing thing. Here's another "me too!" and definitely not
    because of my ears. My first job was with PolyGram and after some
    training I managed to match up with the quality control people when
    it came to spotting defects in sound quality - well I had to because
    if such defect was due to faulty audio equipment I was supposed
    to fix it :-}. But in spite of that I've always had trouble
    distinguishing a voice in a lot of background noise and if I'd get
    a dollar for each time I've said "What?" in my life I'd be terribly
    rich!! 
    
    Ad

    re .12, Mark, I'm glad to see you have such a realistic view of
    yourself and what other's think of you. :-)  
    
    Lorna
    

    My voice:  I have such a small voice that doesn't travel well, I
               started to pick quiet places to talk to friends.  I can't
               go to clubs without getting laryngitis!
    
    Talking:   I have a trick to not talking...ask the other person
               questions!  But, if that person turns the tables and
               I need to talk, I crumble after about 10 seconds.
    
    

    teeth....you know...the kind that stick out......you know...the "B"
    word.....
    after all these years I still can't say it. 
    was traumatic when I was younger. I'm sure anyone with....THOSE teeth
    can relate.
    
    The REALLY bad part is that two years ago, I wore braces and had jaw
    surgery and the whole 9 yards, and now I have perfectly straight
    teeth that my surgeon and orthodontist are EXTREMELY proud of...
    and I'm STILL worried that some little kid will walk up to me in the street
    in front of 50 people and yell out "hey, you have teeth like a rabbit".
    I've lived it before....guess you can fix your teeth, but the mind
    takes a little more work. 
    -c-                                                             

	 I am unable to recall names of songs, authors, lyrics, plots
	 of books, etc on request.  It's as if my mind blanks out.  I
	 can sing along to a song, know all the lyrics and if you ask
	 me who sings it, I won't know.  NOR will I be able to recall
	 those lyrics that I just sang.

	 I also have the word association problem (ie, wanting to say
	 "pen", thinking it, and not being able to get it out).

	 Someone once told me that this is an obscure form of dyslexia
	 (which I might add I do have....I transpose parts of words
	 all the time, especially when I type....and it looks "right"
	 to me) but I've never really checked with a doctor.

	 I always worry (because of the above) that people think that
	 I really "don't like" music/books and I'm just lying and/or
	 putting up a facade.  Basically, because I cannot carry on a
	 coherent conversation on the subject, so a feel stupid even
	 though I'm not.

	 My teeth.  I fully intend to get braces as soon as I can
	 afford them.  My teeth are all pointed all different
	 directions, not to mention that the front two on top look
	 like they belong on a beaver, not me.

	 My face is uneven.  When I smile (like for a picture) it's
	 uneven.  When you look at a picture of me, I think it's VERY
	 apparent that I have a jaw on one side and none on the other.
	 :-)

	 My knees.  When I was born, my right foot was pointed to the
	 right more than 45 degrees.  For the first 6 months of my
	 life, I wore a brace on my feet with the intention to
	 straighten my feet out.  They succeeded, but they also
	 succeeded in rotating my right kneecap inward (they
	 straightened the foot, they did not straighten the knee).  So
	 my right knee looks deformed, I think.  (Not to mention the
	 fact that the kneecap slips all the time).

	 kath

    Just knowing there are alot more people with the same problems as me,
    I think will help me be a little less self conscious. But as far as
    the hearing thing, I also have a problem, I drive my wife crazy...If
    anyone figures out a way to fix this let me know how you did it. Also
    one that I did'nt read...whenever I REALY want to do something, I seem
    to concentrate on it too much and screw it up. The other day I played
    golf with my boss, I know he plays alot more than me so It did'nt
    matter to me if he won as long as I did'nt make a total ass out of
    myself. After the first nine he had me by only 3 strokes, so I said 
    to myself I can beat him next time around (I REALY wanted to ) but 
    instead I made a total ass of myself and lost the second nine by 18
    strokes. I seem to do better when I concentrate less. Makes no sense
    to me.
    K.C.