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Conference turris::womannotes-v3

Title:Topics of Interest to Women
Notice:V3 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1078
Total number of notes:52352

742.0. "The ass topic" by CSC32::M_VALENZA (Voulez-vous noter avec moi?) Fri Mar 22 1991 17:26

    This topic is devoted to discussing asses.

    I am, of course, referring to those lovable beasts of burden.  Some
    people say they're dumb, but I don't care; give me a good ass any day
    (it never ceases to amaze me what a good ass can do for me).

    Care and maintenance of your ass is always an important issue, of
    course, and if anyone has any suggestions, please post them here.  The
    one thing that comes to mind involves the fact that an ass will drop
    certain deposits around it, and you have to be careful when around the
    beast not to step in the stuff, lest you should slip and fall on your
    ass.  That, of course, would hurt it, and then you'd have a sore ass on
    your hands.

    If your ass is sore, and unable to do its chores like a good beast of
    burden should, just remember that it is rude to grab someone else's
    ass.  Ask them if you could borrow it first.

    I hope this discussion can remain serious and completely on the topic. 
    By the way, what *do* you call a rathole in an "ass" topic?  Wouldn't
    you call it an...uh, no, I guess not.

    -- Mike
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742.1OXNARD::HAYNESCharles HaynesFri Mar 22 1991 17:293
Didn't St. Thomas Aquinas talk to his ass?

	-- Charles
742.2I'll see your rathole and raise you twoSA1794::CHARBONNDYou're hoping the sun won't riseFri Mar 22 1991 17:293
    >what do you call a rathole in an "ass" topic...?
    
    Who gives a rat's ...oh, never mind.
742.3I _know_ this is gonna get heated...SA1794::CHARBONNDYou're hoping the sun won't riseFri Mar 22 1991 17:301
    re .1 There are those who think he talked _through_ it >:-)
742.4NUPE::HAMPTONHamp-Animals don't die. We multiply!Fri Mar 22 1991 17:3218
    Here's some info on caring for your ass that I've learn over the 
    years...
    
    
    1.  Never let anyone kick your ass.  If someone attempts to kick
        your ass, make sure you kick their ass first.  That will usually
        stop them from kicking yours.
    
    2.  Make sure you wipe your ass everyday.  It will enjoy it for
        there's nothing like a good ass wipe.
    
    3.  Please label your ass so that you can tell it from a hole in the
        ground.
    
    
    These are just a few.  Hope they are useful.
    
    -Hamp
742.6IMHOKNGBUD::B_SIARTTHE/OWLS/ARE/NOT/WHAT/THEY/SEEMFri Mar 22 1991 17:438
    
    
    Hmmm, and they're just as common as opinions, EVERYONE has ONE!
    
    
    ;)
    
    Brian
742.7(*8GAZERS::NOONANI said NO! Now stop whining!Fri Mar 22 1991 18:034
    sigh....I wonder if I can be out of state by the second week of April?
    
    
    E Grace
742.8FDCV07::KINGJesse's Jets!Fri Mar 22 1991 18:193
    Re:7 Only if you get up on you ass and start riding now.... :-}
    
    REK
742.9A teriible tragedy...BATRI::MARCUSThis space left intentionally blank...Fri Mar 22 1991 18:194
I had a friend who was so addicted to gambling that she bet her ass...

Barb
742.10SOLVIT::FRASERBut I don't have an accent; you do!Fri Mar 22 1991 18:228
        Not  forgetting,    of   course  that  the  (ahem)  fundamental
        difference between an ass-kisser and a brown-nose is....
        

        
                           depth perception.
        
                
742.11FDCV07::KINGJesse's Jets!Fri Mar 22 1991 18:223
    Re:10 BJ says Hi!
    
    REK
742.14GEMVAX::KOTTLERFri Mar 22 1991 19:146
    
    .0
    
    pure literary conseat.
    
    D.
742.15SA1794::CHARBONNDYou're hoping the sun won't riseFri Mar 22 1991 19:161
    re .14 Titus Groaned
742.16regardless of the weather...MRKTNG::SZKLARZCan't you hear? My silence screams!Fri Mar 22 1991 19:207
    
    
    
    .... you should always cover your ass!
    
    lsn
    
742.17one for easter timeFDCV06::CONTIFri Mar 22 1991 19:247
    
    
    
    
              A Keyster for Easter ..........
    
    
742.182/3rds of a pun (P.U.)USCTR2::DONOVANSat Mar 23 1991 04:2811
    Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
    
    A: A piece of ass so good it brings tears to your eyes. 
    
    
    
    Comment: Boo! Hiss!
     Retort: No applause, please! Just throw money.
    
    Kate 8^D
    
742.20FDCV07::KINGJesse's Jets!Mon Mar 25 1991 01:144
    I don't know about him, but you bet your sweet ass I am a turtle.
    
    
    REK