Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    And what's wrong to become like your mother? Don't forget that you have
    50% of all her genes, it is normal that you have quite a few of her
    characteristics... but if your mother is wonderful, remarkable, brave
    and a caring woman, why are you afraid of becoming like her? You should
    not brame your mother for what YOU do... only you decide what to do and
    what not to do. You find it wierd to stick a little soap to a big bar?
    Throw the little stub down the toilet before you even think about it,
    then... I am sure you would not think of using it to stick it to your
    normal soap bar...
    Please don't think of yourself "weird" just for that... give yourself
    credit to do the things you think they are right, we should all educate
    our minds as well as we educate our bodies, don't we do aerobics,
    exercises, to keep our bodies in shape? well, we should also do little
    exercises to keep our minds alert and in the right path that WE want it
    to be, after all, we do own our own minds too. (Mash your potatoes, not
    your soap, you hardly save a thing).

    I'm not like my mother; she puts things in bags, but I put things
    in piles.
    
    But my brother is sounding more and more like my father....  Not
    in voice, but in cadence and turn of phrase.  (This is not surprising,
    since they work together.)
    
    Actually, since I have wonderful people for parents, and am very,
    very grateful for my good fortune, I'm perfectly happy to share
    any trait or quirk with either of them.
    
    							Ann B.

re:                      <<< Note 496.1 by DUGGAN::MAHONEY >>>

Whoa, Whoa Whoa! this is a wn lite note! lighten up! I didn't say I was
afraid of becoming like my mother and I certainly don't blame her for 
anything. I suppose I was thinking out loud and forgot the smiley faces
or something but I guess I thought the "wn lite" in the title would
be a clue...sigh. In fact, I think the whole thing is pretty comical,
my mom and I have gotten a good laugh over the whole thing.

Jenna

    And what's *wrong* with conserving soap? she sniffled... Every bar of
    soap in my house has that tell-tale bump on the side from the remains
    of its predecessor! ;-)
    
    The "parent syndrome" does exist, though, and more than a few times
    I've been stunned to hear my mother's voice come out of my mouth.
    (It'll probably happen even more often now that I have a nephew;
    somehow the real Momisms seem to be prompted by the presence of
    children.) What's really odd is that, all my life, I've been much more
    like my father - some of my gestures are his - but the Moms come out
    anyway.
    
    Can't complain, though, since I'm exceedingly proud of and fond of my
    parents. (There's at least one thing I hope I don't inherit from my
    mother, though: the urge to make lemon Jell-o salad with shredded
    carrots and raisins in it...)
    
    -b

    Replace the raisins with bits of pineapple and chopped up walnuts.
    
    						Ann B.

    Re .5: No, no, no! The pineapple goes in the *lime* Jell-o! ;-)
    
    The really funny (?) thing is, a few years ago, in a fit of openness,
    my sister and I regaled (?) Mom with all the things she had managed to
    be unaware of when we were kids, such as just how many mean tricks I
    would play on Julia when the folks were out, and so forth. Both of us
    informed her that her various experimental Jell-o salads were, um, not
    successful... and yet she still turns 'em out. 
    
    I think there's a Jell-o salad gene in there somewhere!
    
    -b

    re .0, no, minus a body part or two, I seem to be turning into my
    father, which is very disconcerting, since *he* was the parent I could
    never get along with!
    
    If there is an afterlife and he knows what I'm like now, I hope he's
    happy about having created a female clone of himself! :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    Hey, the solution to the soap problem: use up the last bar!  I do...I
    use it until I have to use my fingernails to hold it...then eventually
    it gets so small that I *can't* hold it, so I drop it, and it goes down
    the drain.  Then I have to leap from the tub, dripping all over
    everything, to the cabinet to get more soap, then leap back.  Ineitably
    the soap wrapper ends up staying in the tub for weeks.
    
    I have my dad's temper and my mother's aloofness.  The worst of both
    worlds.  :-)
    
    D!

    
    Re: .0
    
    I know what you mean.  Since I have been living with my husband, he has
    often asked me "Why do you do (whatever) that way?" and I reply
    "Because I've always done it like that".  What I really mean is
    "Because that's the way my Mum always did it"!!  :-)
    
    Sam
    

	In my family, we have a set of behaviors known as the "Nana Syndrome"
(for my maternal grandmother, who died last summer.)  We constantly threaten
to put my mother in a "nice home and no one will come to visit" if she begins
to exhibit signs of contracting the Nana Syndrome.

	(Note that this is not all a bad thing.  My family is more than a
little off-the-wall.)

					--D

    Beth, I didn't know your mother was fannish!
    
    						Ann B.

    Only when it comes to gelatine dessert mixes, Ann!
    
    -b

    This could be very good for me.  If I take after my Mom within the
    next few years I should be taking off into a new career at which I
    will be successful and happy.
    
    After my Mom raised us seven kids and we fell out of the nest she
    began her second career a workshop leader in remotivation(she shows
    people how to take a look at how happy they really are)and manages
    120 volunteers at a nursing home.
    
    When she visited me recently she proudly displayed her birthday sweat-
    shirt which read "70 never looked so good!"  She is working 40 hours
    a week and is fun to be with.
    
    She does however, have a very large collection of brown paper bags.
    
    Martha

	re: the basenote.  Could be worse.  I'm becoming my mother-in-law!  
(And it's NOT a pretty sight! ;-) )  As much as I intellectualize about how
pacifiers are not bad and when a baby is weaned from the bottle is highly 
dependent on the child, I still have a gut level knee-jerk "if that were my 
child..." reaction when I see a child over say  15-18 months with a bottle
or a child who has to take they plug out of their mouth to talk.  At least I 
don't say anything, just think it.  (Maybe I'm not becoming Alice after all :-))

	I do distinctly remember coming back from a fabric sale a few months ago
with enough stuff to keep me busy til christmas of 1991 and telling a friend, 
"It is offical. I have become my mother."  :-)
  
	But the REAL truth is, I'm my Dad.  Just watching my Mom and Dad 
getting ready to go anywhere, make me laugh my butt off.  I recognize that 
impatient sigh, that "I want to be on the road by...", that....

Tracey

    My mother died when I was in my early teens - but not only do I *do*
    things like her - like the way I make waffles and chew pencils through the 
    middle, and squint when I read, even though I have my glasses on
     - but  I look like her.  As I type this note, I see that I have 
    my mom's hands - wrinkles and veins and all, and I don't know where
    they came from!   I guess it's better than taking after my Dad - he was 
    bald.
    
    Since I did not become an adult under my mothers' influence, I am
    forced to draw the conclusion that traits like squeezing the toothpaste
    tube from the wrong end is a genetic trait, not learned behavior.
    
    
    -m

====================================================================
>Note 496.17        
>
>COOKIE::CHEN "Madeline S. Chen, D&SG Marketing"      14 lines  31-OCT-1990 19:15
>    
>
>    Since I did not become an adult under my mothers' influence, I am
>    forced to draw the conclusion that traits like squeezing the toothpaste
>    tube from the wrong end is a genetic trait, not learned behavior.
    
    I think most people's habits, if not beliefs and attitudes, are fully
    formed long before adolescence. 
    
    
    A word of warning for those for those Momma wannabees out there: When
    you have your own kids beware. A semi-metamorphesis takes place. You'll
    look like you. You'll feel like you. But every so often, when you talk
    with those little darling offspring of yours, your mothers voice will 
    come out of your vocal chords! Amazing.
    
    Example:
    
         "If (NAME) jumped off a cliff would you want to do that too?"
         "Clean your room."
         "Santa Claus is watching you."
         "I love you."
    
    Kate
    
        
    
    -m

    	RE: .18  Kate

    	The first time I ever heard myself tell Ryan "Why?  Because I
    	said so!" - I thought my Mom was hiding behind a curtain and had
    	turned into a ventriloquist.  ;^)

    re .18, .19, a couple of years ago I caught myself saying to a friend,
    "You have to realize that the universe doesn't revolve around you!"  As
    soon as I said it, I realized it was my mother talking.  :-)  And,
    since then, I've caught myself saying it to Melissa, too.
    
    Also, speaking of genetics, a couple of years ago, I was giving a ride
    to a woman who had been a close friend of my parents.  She made a
    comment about something, and I glanced at her, replied, and laughed. 
    All of a sudden she said, "You remind me so much of your father
    sometimes it's almost eerie!"  (He had been dead for about 10 yrs. at
    the time.)  I said, "What do you mean?"  And, she said, "It's just
    what you said, and the way you turned your head and laughed.  It was
    just like him.  That's just what he would have said, and then you
    turned your head and laughed just like him.  For a minute, I had the
    feeling I was talking to *him*!"  I was really surprised since I had  
    never realized it or thought about it before.  I have noticed that the
    older I get the more I look like a female version of him.
    
    Lorna
    

    I knew I was doomed the day I answered the phone at my parent's home (I
    was living there at the time) and the puzzled voice on the other end
    said "Ginny?".  Then they thought I was my *grandmother*.  Seems like
    all the women in my family carry the same inflections and tone and word
    choice.  Really struck me harder a couple of years later when my sister
    called and I thought for a moment she was my aunt!
    
    Alison

    -1
    
    When I stayed at home we all three (my sister, mum and I) all got
    mistaken for each other.  It used to be great starting a conversation
    with my mums sister and then bursting out laughing.
    
    
    Tracy ;-)

    On a more general side of becoming your parent(s). I was scanning
    my FM radio dial on the way to work this morning getting nothing
    but "CLASSIC HITS" that I hate and wishing I would here some "REAL
    PUNK ROCK" that my parents hate when I thought to myself I hate
    "RAP".  
    
    	That made me think its time to start liking "RAP" 

    There's always C&W - guaranteed to make you a pariah most anywhere
    :-)

    re .23, if being young means I'd have to listen to rap, I'd rather be
    old.  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

Ohmygawd it happened again!! I picked up the phone to dial my husband and
by accident dialed my mother's number!! Imagine my surprise when she answered..
and I just had to laugh cuz that's something she always does... hehehe

But I'm *NOT* going to start putting tape in my hair.. :-)

Jenna

    Yeah, I know what you mean.  My mom is a cleaning demon.  I do mean
    demon.  She "hovers" over everyone when they are cooking in the
    kitchen.  She can't stand to see dirty dishes in the sink, and flour
    and stuff on the kitchen counter.  She hovers over people like a ghost,
    snatching plates and dirty dishes, wiping up counter when you are
    trying to make a gourmet dish!  My father, well, it drives him bonkers. 
    My sisters and I just laugh.  She actually cleans the house for the
    cleaning lady!  I mean, it's sick!~  The girl is supposed to help her,
    and here mom is, cleaning for the cleaning lady.  Does this make sense?
    
    Well, I thought I'd only inherited the best in mom.  Guess what, I
    notice that when I cook or when someone is cooking around me, I'm like
    a hawk moving in for the kill, just like mom.  Driving everyone up a
    wall.
    
    Well, thank, ma.
    
    
    Tammi
    
    
    
    

    I, too, am occasionally possessed by my mother.  This usually happens
    when I put on my Parenting hat with Emily.  Once she and I were walking
    through a fine china section at a department store and I suddenly heard
    my mother's voice coming out of my mouth, "Look with your eyes, not
    with your hands!".  I also have noticed recently how I look more like
    Mom the older I get.  Luckily, she looks about ten years younger than
    she is so I don't mind too much!  ;-)
    
    Nanci 

    
    
    	Is there a Mother's Book of Phrases somewhere?  Although
    	I'm not a mom yet, I do see a lot of phrases in here that
    	my mom used on me....so there must be a guidebook..... =)
    

    I actually cried with laughter at the base note!  I have enough soap
    to last me for abut 500 years after travelling and picking up so many
    of those little bars in plastic boxes! But it doesn't stop me
    being pitifully frugal with those fragments and slivers of soap and
    patiently sticking them together to get just one more bath out of
    them!
    
    diana

    I find that I can get most irritated by habits that I share
    with Mother.
    
    When I went to Mother's house to bring her here for cataract
    surgery, I noticed disapprovingly the plastic containers of 
    forgotten left-overs rotting in the refrigerator.  Then we arrived
    and as I put groceries away, I removed at least 5 unidentifiable
    fur-bearing objects from my cold-storage.  I can't bring myself
    to throw away "perfectly good food", until after it has become a
    study project in microbiology.
    
    I also save cartons, wrapping paper, packing material, rubber 
    bands from vegetables, string, ribbon, bags, and, yes, slivers 
    of soap.  As Mother used to say, and still does, "Use it up, wear
    it out, make it do, or do without."
    
    Every time I moved, I had more storage space. I now have an
    empty hay loft, as well as the usual closets, basement and 
    garage.  Actually the loft is not empty, it has my high school
    newspaper (all issues for four years), yearbooks, a beach
    umbrella that is torn, but repairable, two repairable chairs.
    a carton of short lengths of material in case I ever make a 
    quilt or rag rug,....
    
    Pack rat genes must be inherited!!
    
    Pat 
    
    
    
    

    I've become *someone's* mother.
    
    Over the years, I've talked to my cats.  Now, I don't think they
    understand what I say, but I figure they might get something out
    of the inflection, so why not?
    
    As they shriek around me, demanding dinner, I'd say, "Just a minute."
    For some reason, this has never satisfied them, so I took to adding,
    "A minute is a long time."
    
    Some weeks ago, I said the same thing to a tiny cousin:  "I'll be
    with you in a minute."  (Soulful eyes stare reproachfully at me.)
    "A minute is a long time."  I was with her in a minute, and I forgot
    what I said.
    
    Until her mother, who had heard the entire thing, said the same
    thing a few minutes later:  "Just wait a minute.  A minute is a
    long time."  She sounded amused, but I think the phrase is there
    to stay.
    
    						Ann B.

    Lately I've been noticing that my 17-year-old daughter is growing
    up to be a young version of my mother.  Especially now that she's
    let her hair grow long.  I'll be reading or something and catch a
    glimpse of her walking across the room, and I'll do a doubletake
    the resemblance is so strong.  
    
    And then I caught myself yelling at her because she was doing
    something that my mother used to do that always annoyed me . . . 
    
    Could be a whole new dimension in mother-daughter conflict. 
    
    --bonnie

    re .35 I thought only plants were subject to alternation of
    generations. :-)