Conference turris::womannotes-v3

    
    	Hi Sue - my sincere wishes that things have quieted down at
    	your apartment and that you're asleep now.
    
    	As I said in my mail to you, I'm still awake and I'm here (if 
    	you feel like a mail chat.)
    
    	In sisterhood,
    	Suzanne
    

If you receive persistent harassing phone calls, you can notify the
phone company and request a tracer or something be set up on your line.
You will have to fill out some paperwork that the phone company will
send to you.  Each time you receive a prank call, you immediately call
the phone company and they will trace the call for you.  After you have
established a pattern, you can notify the police.  Call the phone co. for 
details.

    
    
    If it was just one call I wouldn't worry about it.  Sure it is
    upsetting and incredibly unnerving.  Relax, count to ten, tell
    yourself your fine, look in the mirror to reassure yourself
    that you are ok.  
    
    If it is a pattern, write down the times and days of the calls.
    If you can prove a pattern ( I think it is 4 or more calls 
    within a one week period) you can contact the telephone
    company.  They will send you a form to put the times and days
    down, then if the determine there is a pattern according to
    thier guidlines, they will contact the police and put a
    trace on your phone.    Only if it gets that far, be ready
    to prosecute.  This is the stand the telephone company and
    the police take on this issue.  If they are going to take the
    time to trace the calls, they want to be sure you will take
    the time to finish the job by prosecuting.
    
    
    I know how you feel as far as being scared.  I can literally scare
    myself out of my house due to my imagination.  The only advice
    I can offer that helps is to just relax.  Remain calm by repeating
    over and over to yourself that you are ok.  Luckily I do not have
    to deal with these anymore becuase John usually answers the phone.
    
    Good luck,
    Michele

    
    As another woman on the first floor alone, I know how hard it is to
    "just relax" after one of those calls. If it happens again, you can
    ALWAYS change your number. Its a hassle telling everyone the new
    number, but having an unpublished number can be a big relief. 
    
    If you have someone to call, just so that you won't be alone, go ahead
    and do so. Or leave the house and go to them. Or have them come by.
    
    If you get another call, sometimes another thing that works is holding
    the phone away, counting to ten and then completely venting all your
    anger and frustration into the earphone, without listening to the
    speaker, and then hanging up. Then, disconnect the phone.
    
    I've been scared a lot in my home. One of the things I do is get out a
    favorite soothing tape to play, one that will run a good 45 minutes or
    longer, and let that put me to sleep. Or take up some smut novel or a
    crossword puzzle, or something I can immerse my mind with until I relax
    again.
    
    Last suggestion, make friends with some of your neighbors so that you
    can call them and ask them to look around for you. Not being alone is
    sometimes the biggest relief.
    
    Oh yeah.... and you can consider getting Mace, or a small squirt bottle of
    something chemical/acidic. (bleach or ammonia or Drano).

    How rotten for you, Sue!  I hope you're feeling much more relaxed now,
    that's a really crummy and unnerving experience to go through.
    
    I haven't had any problem since fitting my answering machine...I
    disconnect my handset at night, and the whirr of the machine taking
    calls doesn't even waken me just 10 feet away.  I have had a couple of
    obscene callers meanwhile, and they sound very different --pathetic and
    impotent-- coming from the tape in the light of morning.
    
    							=maggie

    
    Last time this happened I let off my personal alarm "shrieker" down
    the phone. By the time I stopped he'd hung up.
    The added benefit was that I couldn't hear any more of the disturbing 
    things that he was saying either.
                                     
    'gail
    

    I have an answering machine that I now have only "male" voices on 
    the "message" (in fact right now its George Burns)...

    After 9pm, unless I *know* someone is calling me at a set time, I NEVER
    answer my phone, I just let the answering machine screen the call, then
    I pick up the phone *if* its someone I recognize.

    Re: mace.. If you go that route, make sure you visit the police
    department first and get the appropriate cards to carry it (or have it
    in your house) this takes abut a month depending on how loaded down
    your central courthouse is (I got mine in Marlboro, and it had to be
    cleared through Boston).

    Well, things do look a lot better by the light of day!  I did finallly
    fall asleep last night.  It took a while.  I peeked out the windows
    whenever I heard a noise. I also did all my packing for this weekend's
    trip.  (When life hands you lemons...)

    Thank you to everyone who has replied or sent me mail.  It IS
    reassuring to hear that others have found ways to deal with it.  But on
    the other hand it's discouraging to know that we HAVE to.

    As far as harrassment, the police officer who stopped by also said that
    it would only be a case of harrassment if I was called several times a
    night for a few nights.  Chances are, he said, it was just some drunk
    (the guy was *not* drunk), or some pervert who actually thought he
    could turn someone on with a call like that.  He also told me that
    they've never had a problem in my complex and that several cops live
    there.

    Thanks again,
    Sue

    Sue,
    
    I hope this call was only a random one.
    
    I received a few obscene calls last year, and not knowing whether the
    caller knew where I lived or not, I found that the best response was an
    unexpected response.
    
    The caller expects you to get rattled and hang up.  If you ask him
    (generally obscene callers are men) things like "Excuse me, what did
    you say?", "No thanks, I'm doing laundry/housework right now and the
    place is a mess", "Honey, it's for you", "Do I know you?" (weird, but 
    it works) generally are effective.  The caller wants to shock you, and 
    when he doesn't, there's no thrill in the call for him.
    
    I hope that this was your last call.  As others have said, screen your
    calls with your phone machine.
    
    Judi
    

    Gee, it wasn't even a full moon last night!  I got a call at 3:30 from
    a thick-voiced man asking for Donna.  He was just a wrong number I
    think, but he still wanted to talk...
    
    Yah, it ranges from disconcerting to frightening to get an obscene
    call.  I've had them at various times over the years, only once that I
    know of could it have specifically been targetted at me.  That was when
    I worked at the desk of a retail store at Xmas, the guy called 3 times.
    First, I was shocked and hung up. Second, I said oh you again how
    boring and hung up. Third, I read him the riot act about how I was not
    only uninterested, but extremely busy, and what an expletive deleted
    jerk he is anyway. He never called again.  When I thought about it
    later I realized that it could have been dangerous, since I was in a
    visible, public place.
    
    Another time I yelled at the guy cause he had disturbed and awakened my
    sick infant, which I did not find amusing.  He didn't call back.
    
    I too have used the scream-at-the-top-of-my-lungs tactic, for a random
    but repeating caller, and that seemed to discourage him pretty
    thoroughly.
    
    He probably won't bother you again if he didn't call again right away,
    thankfully!

    RE .9
    
    I agree with you. I had an obscene caller that you to call me randomly
    1-2 times per week every week for a few months. Then he stopped and
    started again after about 6 months. I put him down, but telling him
    things like, your not worth my time, you must not be that good if you
    have to call people and harrass them to get yourself excited. For every
    smart alec question he'd ask, I'd give him a smarth mouthed reply. He'd
    get fed up or at a loss for words and he'd hang up. One time I hung up
    on him, I told him I was too busy to play his games then I hung up, he
    called back. Then I really gave it to him. I told him if he really
    wanted to talk that I would let him talk to my husband. That was the
    last I ever heard from him. Although one day (before then) someone left
    pictures of a man dressed up in kinky womens clothes on my girlfriends
    car in front of my house.
    
    I guess he found someone else to harrass.
    
    /sandi
    

    Maybe not a boat-horn, but my husband-to-be bought me a "Microavenger",
    which is a small, battery-operated device that m,akes a number of very
    loud noises (rocket attack, siren, machine gun shooting).  This was
    purchased in addition to the already in place answering machine.  If I
    got an "obscene call" in the daylight hours (and believe they are no
    more fun then than at night) I used the Microavenger to either dissuade
    them or totally deafen them.  It seemed to work.

    
    
    re .6 and .12 
    
    I like these solutions!  Offense may not work but it sure does feel
    good.  Another note mentions getting a licence to carry mace, this
    should not be understated.  You have the right to bear arms and
    we typically think of guns however many other weapons might suit
    you better but don't forget to register it and practice with it.
    
    Soon this type of problem will be more solvable as a conseqence
    of the new system which transmits the phone number to you and
    will allow you to lock out or trace any number automatically.
    
    It is too bad that such things happen.
    
    
    Harry

    
    
    Last week I as I passed a pay phone it rang, and wouldn't you know? it
    was an obsene caller.  After about 2-5 seconds to realize what he was
    up to, I said:
    
    		"God you're stupid, you called a pay phone."
    
    to which he repied, "I'm sorry" and hung up.
    
    I wonder how that would work at home?  I plan to try it on the next
    one I get.
    
    Mary
    
    	

    I think I may once have had an obscene call at home  but I'm
    only vaguely sure of that
    
    I've had a few at work tho, and that is simply and totally
    non threatening..
    
    the first time it was an inside call and I just hung up and reported
    the guy to security..
    
    the second time it was a series of outside calls that started with
    heavy breathing..
    
    which I found such a total joke that I at first assumed it was
    a friend being silly, so was more receptive that I might have
    been, and the suggestions that the male person on the other end
    of the line made were so silly that it almost wasn't even 
    an obscene call...nothing sexual was mentioned..
    
    he called back a second time after I said, tell me who this is
    or I will hang up...and the second time I said if this is a joke
    tell me or I'm reporting this to security... and hung up..
    
    third call I picked up the phone for maybe a minute or two
    and then hung it up without listening and then went and told
    security
    
    have not had a call since.
    
    Bonnie

    We have some devices available here in New Jersey to combat these.
     
    First, we have something available thru NJBell called Caller I.D.
    You buy (for about $50) an attachment for your phone that displays
    the number calling you.  If it's your friend, you can answer with
    their name.  If it's an obscene call, you have his number and can
    tell him so and repeat it.  Unfortunately, it is not available (yet)
    in every area so if you get a call from an area not hooked up yet,
    the display says "out of area".
    
    We also have something called "Call Block".  If someone calls you
    and you don't want to receive calls from that number, you push a
    predetermined code (given by the phone co.) and that number gets
    a recording and your number is not receiving calls.
    
    There is lots of controversy about rights of privacy regarding these,
    but after having an "ex" boyfriend harrass me for a year, both a
    work and at home (finally getting a new phone number) it has my
    vote.
    
    Susan
    

	Caller ID has been declared illegal in one state (PA, I think)
based on violation of privacy laws.  I'll have to see if I can find the
article I got over the net...

							--D

    I am primarily a read-only member here, but thought I would add a note
    on this subject.
    
    Concerning Caller I.D., I too feel that this is an invasion of privacy. 
    While I do agree that you have the right to be able to locate a person
    who is harrasing you, I have the right to protect the privacy of my
    phone number.  I wrote up a suggestion to my local bell company that I
    think satisfies both points.  The device that displays the phone number
    would store it, instead of display it.  A call to the police department
    formally complaining about harassment would allow the police to read
    this stored number.  This way I get to keep my number private UNLESS I
    abuse it.
    
    Also RE: .16  If you have such a device, I would not recommend that you
    announce to the caller that you have his/her number, and further prove
    it by repeating the number.  This could insite some jerks to take
    action if they happen to know where you live.  Instead file a formal
    report/complaint with the police and let them handle it.
    
    just some thoughts.
    jim
    

    Why should you have the "right to protect the privacy of [your] phone
    number" when the person you're calling doesn't have the right to
    protect the privacy of theirs from you? 
    
    						=maggie

    Re -1:  Interesting question, Maggie.  I'll be watching for responses.
    
    I have had poor luck trying to work with the phone company on my
    nuisance caller.  During the week we had the trap on the line, not one
    [such] call.  Truth be told, I don't even know if it's a human
    being.  I never hear *anything*.  No heavy breathing, no music or TV in
    the background, no words or giggles of any sort.  Makes me suspect a 
    mechanical or electronic problem...
    
    The most irritating factor is that these calls used to come in 
    between 1.00 and 4.00am.  Sometimes there would be a call
    every few minutes until we took the phone off the hook.  I speak in the
    past tense because we no longer receive these calls.  Why?  See next
    paragraph.
    
    We usually take the phone off the hook nightly now, but that's an
    irritant in itself - paying for a month of service for which we receive
    basically two weeks.  I have family (parents, sibling, offspring) all
    over the country too, and hate to think that I am inaccessible.  I'd 
    pay for one of those read-out boxes in a heartbeat.  In fact when they're 
    available here I will, and if it turns out to be a human nuisance-caller 
    I will prosecute as far as possible, and consider suit as well.  Huff,
    huff.  So there.
    
    aq
    
    
    

    The usual reason (or class of reasons) given in support of the view
    that Caller ID represents invasion of privacy runs as follows:
    anonymous tips to the police would dry up, likewise calls to suicide
    hotlines or other services which tend to cater to anonymity, and so
    forth.

    I suppose the police and such agencies could advertise numbers on which
    they guarantee (and you choose whether to believe them) that Caller ID
    would not be used.

    It's a similar sort of discussion as the one about drug tests. One side
    says "if you don't do drugs, why do you care?" and the other side says
    "it's a matter of principal and abuse of power".

    It's not all black and white. There's no easy answer. You've got to
    break a few egos to make a metaphor. A stitch in ...

    *slap*

    Thanks. I needed that.

    Paul, if you were gonna peach on a drug dealer would *you* call from
    home?  I sure wouldn't!!  That's what they make nice, anonymous pay
    phones for.

    well, that too.  ;')

    You *can* protect the privacy of your number.  You can have it
    unpublished or unlisted (for a price, of course - the phone company is
    great at that.)  And lately, I've been randomly giving out my old MA
    phone number when people ask for numbers.  Granted, that doesn't stop
    anyone from reaching you via random dialing.
    
    I have two numbers, one published and one unpublished (there's no
    charge for a second unpublished number when the first is published, at
    least in NH.)  Of course, in my case, the second one is my modem line
    and I don't really care.
    
    					--D

>    Why should you have the "right to protect the privacy of [your] phone
>    number" when the person you're calling doesn't have the right to
>    protect the privacy of theirs from you? 
    
    						=maggie
    
    Good point, Maggie. I agree with you. 
    
    Kate
    

    I was thinking about this the other day and came up with the following
    solution: put two switch selectable options on all phones- 1) Don't
    transmit caller ID and 2) don't accept calls without caller ID.
    
    - M

    .last few, referring to the privacy of the called party:
    
    There are 3 ways for someone, legit or not, to cause your phone to
    ring.  1) random or sequential dial, the point being that the caller
    does not personally know the callee; 2) it's unlisted and the caller
    has your number from you; 3) it's in the book.
    
    In case 3, you have in effect already ceded your right to keep your
    phone number confidential.  Caller id has no effect on this (but see
    below).
    
    Case 2, you are selectively distributing the knowledge of your phone
    number.  Caller id removes the control you have paid for (you pay extra
    for an unlisted number).
    
    Case 1, there's no protection against anyhow.
    
    Caller ID seems to have more negative effects than positive.  It will
    increase your electronic/telephonic/paper junk mail (auto record for
    insertion into mailing lists, etc), reduce your privacy (case 2), and
    in relatively few cases will allow you to see who's making unwelcome
    advances.  The proposal in .29 just means that obscene callers will
    turn the transmit switch off.
    

    
    Sorry, there are more.  A clerk or someone looking/listening over
    your shoulder in a store.  Many stores ask for your phone number
    on checks and credit cards.  In the case of credit cards this is
    another reason to destroy the carbon (1st is the account number).
    
    Personally I regard the phone as I would my front door, anyone
    can approach, knock, even get to meet me but, I get to decide if
    they stay.  I do expect anyone not known to me to identify themselves
    especially if they are unsolicited by me.  The problem is the phone
    provides something to hide behind and allows things to occur that
    would never be done in person.   Continuing with the door analogy
    if you do something to offend me I can identify you, if only by
    description.  The phone does not allow for that.  It is the classic
    "if you have nothing to hide, and done nothing wrong then you don't
    have to worry".  Most crank callers would not call if they thought
    they could be found easily.
    	
    a-

    Re .30 and "obscene callers will just turn the send-ID switch off": of
    course they will, unless (as in prank-playing kids) they're unaware
    that it exists. But I would expect most residential-phone owners would
    want to set _their_ "only accept ID'd calls" switch on, so they'd never
    get the obscene calls. In fact, the ones would be most likely to get
    obscene calls would be the 800 and 900 numbers, who would (of course)
    want to allow all callers so as to get the most $$$. Seems like justice
    to me! ;-)
    
    [OK, I know it isn't that simple, but I do think a reasonable protocal
    could be worked out to provide the maximum benefits of call-ID while
    permitting some flexibility. Actually, I'd like some kind of flag on
    incoming calls, indicating business/personal/official/emergency status;
    that way I could disable all incoming sales pitches and never hear
    another siding offer! Dream on...]
    
    -b

    I think the proposal in .29 is good.  Protects both sides.
    
    If you want privacy, your number isn't transmitted.
    If you want to know who's calling, you either get calls and the number,
       or you don't get the call at all (if the number isn't transmitted).
       (In other words, the only obscene callers who can get through are
       the ones who have their number transmitted.)
    
    The only loophole I can see is that obscene phone callers might be
    calling from a pay phone or from a "general" work number like an 800
    number.  Maybe there could be a third code for pay phones.
    
    Sounds like a hassle for the phone companies no matter what.  But if
    the technology is out there, people are going to use it -- and it might
    as well include ways to protect both sides.
    
    I used a set like this in 1983 when I was working as a secretary.  Our
    phone carrier was Northern Telecom.  Callers would always be surprised
    when I picked up the phone and said their name before they introduced
    themselves.  Kind of disconcerting, I guess.  It helped me get prepared
    with how to deal with certain clients before I picked up, though, so I
    liked having it.
    
    Pam

    re: .19  =maggie
    
    Why should I have the right?  Because it is my number and I have the
    right to keep anything of mine private.  Understand, I am not
    advocating making it easy for abusers to get away with something.  I
    *do* advocate the caller ID idea, I simply don't think that *you*
    should have the ability to see the number.
    
    Specifically, what is the problem with making the callers number
    available, but only to a law enforcement agency?  In this way, I
    preserve my privacy (unless I abuse the use of the phone) *AND* the
    abuser can be identified at the touch of a button (3, actually (ie:
    911)).
    
    As for the person you're calling not having the 'right to protect the
    privacy of theirs from you?", they certainly do - Unlisted numbers.  If
    you place your number in the phone book, you have willfully given up
    that right.  If I pay to have my number protected (and I obey the law)
    the phone company is contractually bound to protect my number.  The
    caller ID specifically violates this contract as it is the phone system
    that is allowing the transmission of my number without my permission.
    
    jim
    

{Mail and conference headers removed, as the forwarding is not important since
it originates from Usenet. --D}


RISKS-LIST: RISKS-FORUM Digest  Friday 1 June 1990   Volume 10 : Issue 01
 
Date: Thu, 31 May 90 10:44:27 PDT
From: tim@ggumby.cs.caltech.edu
Subject: Caller*ID illegal in Penn
 
>From the Los Angeles Times, May 31, 1990, p. D2:
 
Court Rules Against Caller I.D.: Bell of Pennsylvania's caller-identification
service is an invasion of privacy and violates the state's wiretap law, a state
court ruled.  The decision reverses an order by the state Public Utility
Commission allowing Bell to offer the service.  The service would let people
know who is calling before they pick up the phone, even if the caller's number
is unlisted.  Several other regional phone companies already offer the service.
 
   [Also noted by schwartz@groucho.cs.psu.edu (Scott E. Schwartz).]
 
------------------------------
 
Date: Thu, 31 May 90 11:29:18 EDT
From: <leichter@LRW.COM>
Subject: Court Declares Caller*ID Illegal   
 
[From the New York Times, Thursday 31-May-90, Page D1]
 
Services Identifying Caller Held Illegal In Pennsylvania,   By Keith Bradsher
 
A Pennsylvania court ruled yesterday that services that identify the telephone
numbers of callers represent an illegal invasion of privacy.
 
The verdict was the first in the nation on the legality of such services.  The
five judges of the Commonwealth Court, a mid-level state appellate court, ruled
unanimously that caller identification services ... violate Pennsylvania's
wiretap law.
 
All five judges found that the services violate the law even when telephone
companies allow some customers to block the release of their telephone numbers.
And the court ruled by a 3-2 vote that the services violate privacy protections
offered by the Pennsylvania Constitution.
 
"In the framework of a democratic society, the privacy rights concept is much
too fundamental to be compromised or abridged by permitting Caller*ID," Judge
Doris A. Smith wrote in the majority opinion....
 
But Bell of Pennsylvania criticized the ruling.  "Because of this decision,
Pennsylvanians are being deined a service they eagerly want and badly need -
a weapon against harassing, threatening or obscene calls," [a spokesman said].
 
	Three Options for Panel
 
The Commonwealth Court hears appeals of decisions by state and local
administrative bodies in Pennsylvania, and its decisions may be appealed to the
Pennsylvania Supreme Court.  John F. Povilaitis, the chief counsel of the
Pennsylvania Public Utility Commission, said his office would review
yesterday's decision and make a recommendation to the commissioners within a
few days.
 
[He] said the commission had three options:  to ask [for a rehearing], to file
an appeal before the Pennsylvania Supreme Court, or to allow the decision to
stand.
 
Bell of Pennsylvania was not named as a defendent in the case.  But [it] said
it qualified as a party [and could appeal if the PUC chose not to].
 
Bell ... filed with the commission on June 18, 1989 for permission to offer
caller identification.  The commission approved the filing on Nov. 9 and the
company scheduled service to begin Jan. 9.  But a Commonwealth Court judge
blocked the service pending judicial review.
 
The suit was filed against the P.U.C. by the state's Office of the Consumer
Advocate, the [ACLU], the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
and the Consumer Education and Protective Association.
 
[Caller id is now] widely available in [five states] and on a limited basis in
[three others] ... according to ... a spokesman for Bell Atlantic Corporation,
the parent of Bell of Pennsylvania.  Phone companies in nine other states and
Washington are seeking to introduce caller identification.
 
Long-distance companies, including [AT&T], also offer caller identification to
some businesses with 800 and 900 numbers.  Yesterday's decision ...  did not
address whether long-distance companies should stop providing information for
Pennsylvania callers.
 
"We have to see how, if at all, this ruling affects AT&T," said ... a spokesman
for the company.
 
	Privacy Issue Cited
 
Bell Atlantic and other defenders of caller identification have argued that
the services discourage obscene callers and protect the privacy of people
receiving calls by allowing them the choice of not answering.  But the court
ruled explicitly that the privacy of people making calls is more important.
 
The court found that caller identification services function as call-tracing
devices, which under the Pennsylvania wiretap statute may be used only under
certain circumstances.  The court noted that Pennsylvania requires the consent
of all parties before a telephone conversation may be recorded.
 
As of December, there were 15 other states with similar requirements.  The
remaining states and Federal law allow taping with the consent of one party.
But [FCC] rules require that all parties to an interstate or international call
be aware they are being taped.
 
The Pennsylvania wiretap statute contains wording similar to the Federal
wiretap statute.  Bills are pending in the House and Senate that would amend
the Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986 to make caller identification
explicitly legal while requiring that telephone companies give customers the
option of blocking release of their telephone numbers.  A subcommittee of the
Senate Judiciary Committee has scheduled a hearing for June 7 on caller
identification.
 
                 [Because of the remarkably complex tradeoffs between 
                 defensive functionality and offensive violations of rights,
                 this item seems worth including in its entirety for its
                 intense educational value.  PGN]

    Mike, in seven years, the phone company has not been able to catch my
    nuisance caller.
    
    aq
    

    Interesting possibilities here, and I appreciate your posting them.  I
    suppose a good question would be, why then doesn't the phone company
    assist me by solving my problem?  While they might prefer to sell me an
    unpublished number, I haven't gone for it yet.
    
    A subset to my question, why is it so easy for someone [thing] to harass 
    me and so difficult and/or expensive for me to stop it?  Rhetorical
    questions, these.
    
    Sort of wish I were in Rhode Island.
    
    aq
    

    Just an intersting note to all ofthe discussions on caller ID, In Katx
    v. United States, the United States Supreme Court ruled that a caller
    on the telephone has a "reasonable assurance of privacy" when making
    his or her call.  Since there is a liberty interest involved, (i.e. a
    right to privacy) no government entity may tap a phone without first
    procuring a warrant to do so under the Wiretap law.
    
    The phone company has, at times, been construed to be an arm of the
    federal government when they collect information on what numbers called
    whom and when (my father worked for the telephone company here in
    Chicago for years and they do have that information.  It is available
    to any party that can obtain a court order to review the information in
    either a civil or criminal action.
    
    I guess in essence I'm saying I think there is a right to privacy that
    even extends to the flashing of your number on a Caller ID box.  And
    the Pennsylavania court did not find that the prevention of obscene
    calls enough to overturn the Katz decision.
    
    What ever harrassment may be, it still relates to speech and speech is
    protected.

>    Why should you have the "right to protect the privacy of [your] phone
>    number" when the person you're calling doesn't have the right to
>    protect the privacy of theirs from you? 

    An example: peace of mind.  Not mine, my parents'.  My parents and
    I have had frequent fights over my lifestyle and rights to privacy
    in the past, fights which have at times stretched our relationship 
    precariously close to the breaking point.

    But still, every time I visit my parents, they insist that I give 
    them a call when I arrive home.  I've tried to convince them that
    this isn't necessary, that it's ridiculous and so on, but they insist.
    (And if I don't call, they wait until an obscene hour of the night
    when I'm "sure to be home", and then they call me.)  However, my SO 
    lives en route, so I tend to go there instead.  So I call them from 
    there, so they don't worry (and don't do anything rash like call the 
    police after they get my machine at 2AM... 3AM... 4AM...)

    If I thought they could see the phone number of origin, I would,
    literally, call them when I got home.  I don't particularly want
    to contemplate the scenes this might lead to.

    I'd love to tell them the truth, I really would.  But I've tried that, 
    and it's caused so many fights and tears on all sides in the past that 
    it's clear that honesty -- with them, on this particular subject -- is 
    _not_ the best all-round policy here if I want to maintain a continuing 
    relationship with my parents and vice versa.

    In short, my parents *do* have the right to protect their phone number
    from me... they could get an unlisted number and swear all our mutual
    relatives (and that's all of them! :-) to secrecy.  But with a system
    of caller ID, there's nothing I could do to hide the fact that *I'm
    not calling from my house*.

    I guess I have new reason to get nervous, though... now they live in
    NJ :-}.

    I have a friend who reveived a few calls.  She blew her fog horn
    (available and marine supply stores) into the phone.  He NEVER called b
    back!
    

    re .43

    And I'll bet she hasn't had any problems with boats beaching in her
    front yard, either.

    This is not a problem limited to women, though my experience is
    probably unusual.  One summer when I was home from college, I got a
    series of calls from an unknown party, who never spoke (I could usually
    hear breathing, though I don't know if it was "heavy breathing").  I
    don't think I felt physically threatened, but it was quite spooky.  It
    was apparently someone who knew a fair amount about me, such as when I
    was home from work for lunch.  And one call came at 2:00 in the
    morning, after my parents had flown off somewhere on a trip.  In the
    seeming eternity it took me to get to the phone, I of course figured
    out it was a report of a plance crash, or similar disaster.  I was
    pretty sure this was no coincidence.  I rather suspected a creepy young
    man at my work, but I had no real evidence that it even was a male.  I
    simply hung up whenever it became clear it was not a normal call, and
    after awhile they stopped.  Of course, sexual harassment in general is
    not limited to women.  Around this same time (as I was a real
    cutie-pie) I more than once attracted unwelcome attention from males,
    sometimes including attempted physical coercion.  Not that I didn't
    attract attention from females, but I was not likely to find it
    unwelcome, and certainly not harassment (and I remember no attempted
    coercion!).
    
    		- Bruce

    re .46
    
    I also received a "mute call", beginning at 11:00 one night, continuing
    at 30 minute intervals.  When the phone rang for the 3rd time, I just
    picked up the phone without saying anything.  The person at the other
    phone said "Hello?" and I just said "Goodbye" and hung up.  No more
    calls after that.
    
    Judi
    

    Don't know if anyone put this in yet, but a whistle blown in the ear of
    the caller usually ends up stopping whatever...or whoever... is
    bothering you!
    
    JayCee
    

    
    We had good luck by attempting to keep them on the line and then
    saying something like..."got it". In effect, bluffing that you had 
    something that could and did trace their number.
    
    								Hank

    Anybody ever had an obscene call on their answering machine?
    
    I did once. Freud would have a Field Day with *that* kind of psyche!
    
    A Techo-perv?
    

    I think I put this in v-2, but I too, have received calls from young
    girls suggesting lewd or obscene behavior. I believe that they are from
    teenagers. I hope no adult woman would make such suggestions without
    giving me a time and place. :-) I spoke to their behavior and what
    trouble or danger they could be in by making such calls and they got
    beligerant and appeared to be scared. They began swearing at me
    insultingly and sounded almost in tears. They then hung up and haven't
    called back. I did get a call from an adult male who claimed to have
    gotten my name from a gay dating service. As I am not gay and don't use
    dating services I don't see how it was possible unless some "friend"
    was pulling a prank. I never got another one so I think he was just
    calling randomly.
    
    The strangest call was not obscene but was rather frightening. I was
    still married at the time. My wife and I lived in a trailer park in
    Merrimack. We were putting down a new carpet in one of the rooms and we
    needed a staple gun for carpets. We were going to rent one but thought
    we would try her father first. He didn't have one and by the time we
    left his swimming pool, it was to late to go to the rental store. We
    went home and went to bed. Around 2 o'clock AM the phone rang. My wife
    answered and an old woman's voice sounding like it was from beyond the
    grave said she had the staple gun we wanted and was bringing it
    downstairs to us. No one new we needed one save for my father-in-law,
    wife and myself. My wife was nearly hysterical with fear and I wasn't
    doing so good myself. The woman hung up before I could get to the phone
    and while I was comforting my wife something that sounded like
    footsteps were heard by us from up on the roof. I got my shotgun and
    went out but it was only a raccoon. I have never been frightened like
    that by anything and still get chills just thinking about it. True Tale
    
    Phil

    Yes, I had a bunch of obscene messages left on my answering machine at
    one point.  Rather gross ones.  I brought the tape to the police.  Told
    them I'd be glad to testify if they ever caught the guy.  Never heard
    another thing about it.  I wonder if the cops thought the tape was
    amusing?  
    
       Margaret

    I've had obscene calls left on the answering machine in the office here
    at DEC!!  It happened over Thanksgiving weekend about 3 years ago.
    
    I didn't think until AFTER I erased the tape to bring it to Security.
    
    Roberta

    Some guy left a message on my answering machine, and then called back
    that night!  I recognized the voice from the tape and told him that I
    got his message and wasn't interested and hung up.  He didn't call
    back.
    
    Judi
    

    I just went home to have lunch and got an obscene phone call.
    He had to have auto-redial, cuz as soon as I hung up, the phone
    rang again. The answering machine started to play, which has
    my number on it.  I didn't want the caller to get my number if
    he had just randomly dialed, so I turned off the machine while it
    was playing. The phone rang again immediately so, I finally took
    the phone cord out of the wall and left the apartment.  Some lunch.
                                              

    A friend stopped a long annoying series of obscene calls by leaving her
    modem on at night so it would answer and play carrier down the line. 

	I used to sing quite a bit and have (or had, when I kept my voice in 
good shape) almost a 4 octave range.  I've found an F above high C at high 
volume directly into the receiver to be a successful deterrent to repeat calls.  :-)

 Tracey

    RE .57
    
    Wow. Perhaps you could rent your time, or make tapes to those
    folks who are having problems...
    
    'Course, the tapes would have to be Memorex...
    
    :-)
    

    
    that's terrific, never thought of becoming an opera singer,
    this high f is used in the first aria of Queen of the night
    in the MAGIC FLUTE from Mozart, also Zerbinetta in ARIADNE AUF NAXOS
    from Richard Strauss has to sing a D'''. How can you manage this very
    high note without feeling bad afterwords, even people with singing 
    lessons don't manage this because it's very, very high. But to sing
    it whenever you want to sing it, it's really amazing !!!
    
    Carina-who-once-wanted-to-become an opera singer-and always admires
    singers with perfect technique-(see Edita Gruberova or Lucia Popp)

If you have a modem on your phone, relief is only a button-push away.

Martin.