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Conference turris::womannotes-v2

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 2 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V2 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1105
Total number of notes:36379

334.0. "Are we making progress on sexism?" by ULTRA::WITTENBERG (Secure Systems for Insecure People) Fri Dec 09 1988 20:15

    I was  talking  to  =maggie,  and  she  said that the issues we're
    discussing  here  are  the  same  issues  that were discussed on a
    precursor  to  this  file  12  years ago. Since the issues haven't
    changed,  I  wondered  whether  things  have  changed  at all. I'm
    inclined  to  think that there have been lots of improvements, and
    some  backsliding.  I offer the following list as a starting point
    for discussion:

Improvements:

    Jobs. We  no  longer  have seperate sections of employment ads for
    men  and women. It is no longer acceptable to overtly discriminate
    on the basis of sex. There are women repairing phone lines and men
    working as telephone operators.

Schools:

    We no  longer require boys to take shop and girls to take Home Ec.
    There  are  almost as many sports for girls as for boys. (In fact,
    one  cable  station  that  has  a high school sports show listed 6
    girls sports and 3 boys sports.) Women are encouraged to enter the
    "hard sciences" (I know, we're still not there, but there has been
    a major improvement from my vantage point.)

General Attitude:

    It's no  longer  acceptable  to  be  sexist  in many places. (In a
    discussion  of  interviewing techniques a manager said "If someone
    makes  a  sexist  or  racist  remark  terminate  the interview and
    cancel all later interviews. We won't hire someone like that.") We
    have  a  note  on "Sexism is Alive ..." When sexism was ubiquitous
    such  a  note would have been ridiculous. It's now notable when we
    run into sexism.

Backsliding:

Politics:

    Reagan has  appointed  far  fewer  women than Carter did. Reagan's
    female  appointees  are  so few as to seem to be merely tokens. (I
    know  he  appointed  the  first woman to the supreme court and the
    first  woman  to  a cabinet position, but far fewer women in lower
    positions   than   Carter   or   Ford   did.)   Ferraro   ran  for
    vice-president,  but  that seems like an act of desperation rather
    than  someone  who people thought could win. There have been a few
    women   in  congress  for  a  long  time,  but  the  number  isn't
    increasing.  On a state level there's more grounds for optimism.

Reproductive freedoms:

    Hard to  say. I think for poor uneducated women it's gotten worse.
    There's less education about birth control and I suspect that it's
    getting  harder to find cheap or free abortions and birth control.
    Some  schools  (notably  Boston  University)  have  made  it  more
    difficult  for  students  to  get contraception. On the other hand
    contraceptives   are   now  on  drug  store  (and  in  some  cases
    supermarket) shelves, rather than being hidden behind a counter.

    Overall I  see  an  improvement  in  the  last ten years, but some
    worrysome trends in the last few years.  Comments?

--David
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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334.1well, ok, so it wasn't short.MCIS2::POLLITZgender issuesSat Dec 10 1988 01:0773
    Well, home life didn't make the top 5 (it never does) as a "starting
    point" (of course considering how much it's continually being
    're-defined' how could such a slippery animal be) so I'll try to
    be brief.
    
    Jobs:  The last 30 years a number of factors have brought women
           into the work force.  Despite various statistical shifts
           here and there, the sexes still are motivated to generally
           be drawn toward jobs that have long been associated with
           gender.  That women today make about 2/3 of what men make
           has a lot to do with women tending to be drawn toward jobs
           that do not pay so much.  Whether women can be motivated
           to try for the more lucrative paying careers is something
           that has to come from within; along with perhaps a greater
           "educational/advertising/counseling [etc]" push.
           Advocates of such a push believe such measures/achievements
           to be in the best interests of Women and Society.
    
    Schools: Advocates of non-sexist education (or unisexism if you
             will) have made considerable 'advances' in the education
             of our children and college students.  
    
             Book companies like MacMillan have extensive guidelines
             regarding the depictions of the sexes in their lower education
             school textbooks.  The sexes are seen as frequently as
             the other in any or all imaginable activities.  Girls and
             boys do the same jobs, play the same sports, and are as
             aggressive/passive as the other.  Motherhood is not taught
             as something desirable for women and the words "Mother"
             and "Housewife" are not used. The haircut styles of the
             young depicted children is frequently changed and I must
             admit - I am *very impressed* that traditional family life
             has progressed in these texts of now being (but) yet another
             *alternative lifestyle*.
    
             Oh, also, teachers are frequently instructed to break up
             the single sex groupings that all children naturally form.
    
             Which the teachers today gladly do.
    
    Attitudes:  I guess if I was in an interview and said a word about
                Women and motherhood ("I wish more women raised children
                in the home") that that would be the end of the interview.
           
    Politics:   I can't comment on appointments without specific numbers
                but again I will say that if more women strive to achieve
                seats in the various houses, then more of those seats
                will be held by women.
    
    Reproductive
    Freedoms:    Always a controversial topic where life concerns are
                 paramount, I think technological advances and reason-
                 ably liberal attitudes have prevailed to make birth
                 control available, safer, and acceptable.
    
                 Abortion will always be a difficult subject; particularly
                 since the value of life is so deeply ingrained within
                 us ... and we don't like losing a potential human being
                 (particularly for [percieved] non-life threatening
                  reasons).
    
                 The matter of abortion should be a private matter between
                 a woman and her doctor.  
    
                 That abortions used to occur decades ago without fan-fare
                 has a lot to do with the lack of the matter reaching
                 such a national political consciousness as now exists.
    
                 Which vectors of power fueled the controversy as now
                 exists on the national stage merits its own topic.
    
    
                                                    Russ P.
334.2addressing only 1 part of questionRAVEN1::AAGESENstrugglin' for the legal tender . . .Mon Dec 12 1988 13:0147



      I agree that blatant sexual discrimination is no longer acceptable
      in alot of work places.(Digital being far more sensitized to this issue
      than other companies I have experienced.) It is still very difficult,
      in my opinion, to address "subtle" sexism.  I think the "good ole
      boy" network is still very ingrained in business, due more to 
      individual manager hang-ups than systematic problems.  My perception
      is that for women to be treated equally in the business enviornment, 
      most of the current generation of upper and middle management must
      pass on, thereby removing the "programming" of an era that de-valued
      women's contributions.  I *hope* I see this in my lifetime! 
      
      I have been working since 1974, so maybe those women who have worked 
      more years exposed to the BLATANT discrimination can appreciate the
      positive changes more than I could.  I DO know that I feel drained
      by the constant re-educating, struggling twice as hard to PROVE equal
      worth, ect. (i.e. fighting the "good" fight ;-}).

   >                                                             (In a
   > discussion  of  interviewing techniques a manager said "If someone
   > makes  a  sexist  or  racist  remark  terminate  the interview and
   > cancel all later interviews. We won't hire someone like that.") We

     My guess is that this conversation took place within Digital. I feel
     fortunate to have been given the opprotunity to continue my career at a 
     company that, based on my experience, is far ahead of most when 
     dealing with the issues surrounding sexual discrimination (I *know*,
     even here at DEC there are improvements to be made!)

   >                                                                 We
   > have  a  note  on "Sexism is Alive ..." When sexism was ubiquitous
   > such  a  note would have been ridiculous. It's now notable when we
   > run into sexism.

     I personally have never contributed to this note, but that doesn't 
     mean that I do not frequently experience some form of sexual 
     discrimination.  

     I am confident that we are making progress concerning sexism, it just 
     seems to be a very _long_painful_process.

    
    
robin
334.3NOVA::M_DAVISBeyond the ridiculous to the sublime...Thu Dec 22 1988 12:3128
	To me, the attached is progress... I suppose it's only partial
    progress, however, since I find it remarkable.
    
    Marge
    
    +---------------+
    | d i g i t a l |   I n t e r o f f i c e  M e m o r a n d u m
    +---------------+

    TO: DSG Staff                       DATE:  22-DEC-1988
                                        FROM:  Peter F. Conklin
                                        DEPT:  Desktop Systems
                                        EXT.:  235-8364
                                        LOC.   DSG1-2/E6

    SUBJ:  John Shirk


    I'm pleased to welcome John Shirk to Digital as my secretary. John
    has been with us as a TAG for the past four months. He was
    instrumental in our recent move. John will also be supporting Dave
    Cotton in his planning capacity, and Steve Mikulski and the Fonts
    Program.

    John has retired after a 20 year career in the Special Forces. He
    enjoys bowling, golf, and skiing.

    Please welcome John to the TAS organization.
334.4Betcha the engineers won't give *him* any guff!RAINBO::TARBETThu Dec 22 1988 12:383
    Remarkable indeed, Marge!
    
    (The poor guy'll now be one of the best-known people at DEC ;')
334.5RUTLND::SAISIThu Dec 22 1988 12:423
    DEC must be behind other companies on this.  I know of several
    male secretaries at other companies.
    	Linda
334.7Progress, yes; remarkable, no.BOLT::MINOWRepent! Godot is coming soon! Repent!Thu Dec 22 1988 13:546
I had a male secretary in Dec Stockholm in 1976, in Corporate R&D in 1978-9,
and in the DecTalk group in 1986-ish.

Maybe I was just lucky.

M.
334.8LEZAH::TUCKERThu Dec 22 1988 14:354
The secretary of our group 12 years ago in Syracuse, NY was
male... the first secretary I ever had exposure to in DEC.

B.
334.9RANCHO::HOLTRobert Holt UCS4,415-691-4750Fri Dec 23 1988 02:073
    
    If this dude wants to stop by the soapbox, he'll get
    plenty. Especially if he's another reactionary...
334.10The Empire Strikes BackMUNICH::WEYRICHhijack the starshipFri Dec 23 1988 09:0738
    .3 ff: are female secretaries announced in the same manner????
    .2: Robin, I just read an article that some women start a "good ole
    girl network" over here in Germany; I don't like it at all; they do
    just the same things as the good ole boys (i.e. ridiculous rituals, the
    same nepotism). And they are mostly daughters or grand-daughters of
    good ole boys...It's fine that women start to do something TOGETHER,
    but I really wish they would do something DIFFERENT instead of just
    imitating the "boys" follies.
    
    It's true things have improved over the last ten years, but there's
    terrible reactions to that; in Italy, group raping has become a kind of
    fashion. I read about a woman who was raped by 15 young men (most of
    them still in their teens). The trial was comparatively fair, and the
    boys were punished severely - but the woman had to move somewhere else:
    she was the witch that had "ruined the lives of 15 _decent_ man".
    
    Another woman was raped in the middle of Rome by three men; when the
    police arrived, one of the guys was still on top of her, the others
    were holding her arms and legs and had their trousers still down; when
    they were arrested, they laughed and could hardly believe that someone
    could be arrested for such a trivia. They were punished hardly in the
    first instance. In the second, it looked very different: their lawyer
    told about the woman's three children of three different fathers, about
    her former alcohol and drug addiction, and said something like: "look
    at her - she's not the kind of beauty that might make three men lose
    their minds" - they made it look like SHE had offered herself to the
    men for money. The men got an acquittal. The judge said they were "not
    a danger to the public".
    The woman's lawyer (also a woman) said: what it really means is that
    there's two classes of women in Italy; you can rape women of the one
    class and go unpunished, but you are a danger to the public when you
    steal the mink of a woman belonging to the other class. 
    The woman died three days after the acquittals - and probably not only
    from her pneumonia.
    pony
     +
    
    
334.11In defense of the 'BoxHSSWS1::GREGMalice AforethoughtFri Dec 23 1988 14:0410
    re: .9 (Robert)
    
    	   Now Robert, you know the 'Box is just a cheery place where
    	happy people get to discuss uplifting topics for the sake of
    	mutual enlightenment.  Why, I have a hard time imagining a more
    	congenial and inviting environment than SOAPBOX (where seldom
    	is heard a discouraging word), where everyone is welcome and
    	all opinions are given the attention they deserve (heh heh heh).
    
    	- Greg
334.12RAVEN1::AAGESENwhere the road and the sky collideFri Dec 23 1988 17:2821
re .10 hi pony,

  I probably could have been more specific about the 'good ole boy network'
  that I was refering to :-)

>    .2: Robin, I just read an article that some women start a "good ole
>    girl network" over here in Germany; I don't like it at all; they do
>    just the same things as the good ole boys (i.e. ridiculous rituals, the
>    same nepotism). And they are mostly daughters or grand-daughters of
>    good ole boys...
    
    
  I agree that what you are describing is as undersirable as the g.o.b.n.

  I only meant that *I* found this type of mentality difficult to advance
  against within the work enviornment I experienced.  It was like trying to
  take on an unidentifiable roadblock.



robin  
334.13NOVA::M_DAVISEat dessert first; life is uncertain.Sun Dec 25 1988 22:598
    re .10:
    
    >Are female secretaries announced in the same way?  
    
    Yes, it occurs to me that the manager who made this announcement
    had previously made similar announcement of a female administrator.
    
    Marge
334.14Changing TimesWMOIS::B_REINKEMirabile dictuWed Jan 04 1989 01:5333
    This was in Alan Lupo's column in the Boston Globe last
    week.
    
    "The revolutionary change in how men and women view each other
    has been for the best. We are a much healthier society for it. But
    for a lot of us who were just a bit too old for the '60s generation,
    the change is not without some confusion.
    
    "My friend Vinnie Basile, a state probation official, is a fireplug
    of a guy with a coarse Eastie voice, a firm handshake, a heart of
    gold, and a soul of pragmatic compassion.
    
    "One day, acting on the innocence of reflexes, he held a dorr open
    for a woman.
    
    " 'Get out!' she yelled at him. 'Get out! I can open my own doors.'
    
    "Two weeks later, he was on the Green Line when an older woman boarded
    the car. Old training is hard to repress. Vinnie stood up to offer
    his seat, realizing only then that he might have insulted yet another
    woman.
    
    "She stared at him, and he, at her. 'Whatever you do, lady,' he
    pleaded, 'please don't yell at me. If you don't want the seat I'll
    sit down. But don't yell.'
    
    "She smiled. And she took the seat. And she explained that the only
    reason that she had stared at him was because she was 'in shock'.
    
    " ' It's been so long since anyone offered me a seat', she told
    him.
    
    "Go figure."
334.16CUPMK::SLOANEA kinder, more gentle computer ...Wed Jan 11 1989 12:499
    Yes, but Sports Illustrated still has their annual swimsuit issue. It
    has men and women, but is targeted toward men. (If you *really* want to
    see bare skin, male or female, there are better places than SI to
    look.) 
                                                
    Would people buy it if they had, say, an annual football uniform
    issue?
    
    Bruce
334.18RAINBO::TARBETWed Jan 11 1989 13:186
    You're right, Marge, my younger daughter, who enjoyed working as a
    cocktail waitress for several years, has commented on how glad she was
    that progress had been made, tho she regretted the lower tips that also
    (apparently) resulted.  She's a complex person.
    
    						=maggie 
334.20Times ChangeRUTLND::KUPTONThinner in '89Wed Jan 11 1989 16:2031
    	A recognizable resteraunt in Portland, Maine ran an ad in the
    Portland papers around 1979-1980 as folows:
    
    Wanted: Waitresses. Attractive Females, Must be size 9 or under.
    
    	A number of women turned up for the openings, knowing that they
    would indeed make excellent money in both the resteraunt and bar.
    Some that showed up could not meet the advertised criteria. They
    were not attractive, size 9 or under, or either. One woman sued
    the resteraunt claiming discrimination because she weighed in at
    200+ but had years of experience etc. etc. 
    	The owner claimed that he bought 48 uniforms and had given little
    thought to what the size indicated (of course) and that his ad was
    geared to have attractive waitresses in an attractive setting. He
    won the case but lost the war. Because of the location, his waitresses
    were freezing to death, had problems walking around on the spike
    heels, and were constantly being fondled. Problems arose from customers
    (men) thinking that the women were their personal property etc.The
    whole mess was pretty nasty.
    	Today it is a landmark resteraunt. Still has the same owner
    but the waitresses wear formal tux-like shirts with bow ties, and
    tuxedo slacks with dress shoes (low heels). They also are all sizes,
    shapes, etc. They're all good service people, which is most important. 
    	When the dress code changed, the service was better, the waitresses
    much more friendly (less guarded), I felt more comfortable eating
    there and so did my wife. 
    	I guess what I'm saying is that as a result of less sexism,
    the business became better, not worse. BTW, the owner is a much
    better person for what he learned.....he's a millionaire today .
    
    Ken
334.21Synchronicity of discussionsLEZAH::BOBBITTpersistence of visionWed Jan 11 1989 16:5557
    Synchronycity can be really interesting.  I think the quantity of
    discussion that goes on about sexism can well be a form of progress,
    as more people actually THINK about what is going on, rather than
    just cruising through with a "business-as-usual-why-change-things"
    attitude.  To whit, this discussion from a totally unrelated general
    talk-about-anything mailing list I'm on with members from around
    the country.  If it matters to anyone, the conversation is between
    two men.
					-Jody
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to "X"'s reply to my reply to his comments on sexism:
 
And I'll try to clarify my objections.
 
        >(a) Because I'm a man, I have no way of measuring the "constant
        >background of subtle put-downs" that is claimed to be the larger
        >part of the sexism women experience.
 
Yes, you do:  why don't you listen to how men talk to/about women?  Sexism
isn't something you need female ears to hear (sort of like dog whistles).
Pay attention and draw your own conclusions.
 
        >                               Of course, I can measure what
        >women *say* about it, but How do I calibrate the measuring
        >instrument?  Were I in their place, would I consider the same
        >supposedly sexist remarks obnoxious?  Would I consider them
        >frequent enough to be a problem?  Would I think that it got in
        >the way of my attaining whatever goals I thought were important?
        >God only knows.
 
I.e., you think things would be clarified if you knew how such remarks sound
to a woman.  So why don't you listen to women, then?  That's exactly what
they're trying to tell you.
 
        >(b) Rather, the few reports I've seen are from people with a strong
        >interest in these issues.  This interest is usually correlated
        >strongly with certain political positions, and I needn't remind you
        >that politically oriented people tend to find data that supports
        >their prejudices.
 
I'm not denying that there are some women who scream sexism if you so much as
hold a door for them.  I'm not surprised that you feel their opinions can be
discounted -- if anything, I agree with you.  But can't you check with some of
the otherwise sane and reasonable women you know?  You must know *some*.  As
you say, the source is important.  (Or are you one of those people who consider
all reported information unreliable on principle?  If so, I guess I don't have
much to say to you.)
 
I'm certainly not a knee-jerk liberal myself -- I'm liberal on some issues,
conservative (relatively speaking -- remember I lived in Amherst six years)
on others.  Personally, I would greatly prefer never to have to discuss/bother
about/scream about sexism -- God knows I have better things to do with my
time and energy.  But once in a while I get hit with something that makes me
*really indignant*.  And then I have to speak up.  Sexism exists, and needs to
be (a) pointed out, and (b) discouraged.  It's as damaging as any other
injustice.
 
334.22 CIVIC::JOHNSTONOK, _why_ is it illegal?Wed Jan 11 1989 17:1735
    Copy:  The perfect way to let her know how much you appreciate her...
    
    the gift:  a framed picture/poster with the following words and
	       quite a few cute icons:
    
    		   Four-Letter Words For
    		     S U P E R M O M !!
    
    			   Taxi
    
    			   Wash
    
    			   Mend
    
    			   Cook
    
    			 [a few others]
    
    			   Love
    
    
    
    I find this distasteful for the following reasons [among others]:
    	- "Love" is listed last!!
    	- "Read" doesn't appear [a terrific four-letter parental activity]
    	-  except for Love, all attributes are menial
    	-  a LOT of fathers do a LOT of these things
    	-  "Supermom" & "Superwoman" are, to me, demeaning concepts
	    for women -- measuring them on unattainable goals as it
	    were ....
    
    
    grumble, grumble...
    
      Ann
334.24CADSE::SHANNONlook behind youWed Jan 11 1989 20:226
    If youa re bothered by scandily cland women waitresses please never
    go to an atlantic city casino.
    
    Or never take a cruise and go into the casino, the have women dealers
    at the card tables and men at the craps table
    
334.25ULTRA::ZURKOWords like winter snowflakesThu Jan 12 1989 11:464
re: .24

Are the men at the craps table scantily clad too?
	Mez
334.26HAMSTR::IRLBACHERSun Jan 15 1989 15:4138
    This is a thought about some reverse sexism I have experienced
    over a period of years.
    
    I have always felt free to go into any restaurant I pleased (even
    if I did feel strange sometimes) alone to eat.  A short number
    of years ago, I often found myself virtually ignored and hastily
    served by waitresses (at the few where men were waiting on tables
    I received equal or quicker service than other "coupled" tables--
    yes, I watched like a hawk!).  I also found myself seated, too
    often unless I spoke up and demanded a better table, at the least
    comfortable or "nice" section. 
    
    Today, I rarely experience that type of reverse sexism from women
    waiters.  They are quicker to recognize that women alone aren't
    to be ignored---the feminist movement has certainly raised the
    awareness in service personnel that *a woman alone* does *not*
    mean she is a second class citizen because she eats alone.  (did
    they think the tips would be unworthy of properly done service?)
    
    After my husband's death I purchased a new car.  When I began to
    talk with the salesperson about front wheel drive, stick vs.
    automatic, etc. he suggested that perhaps I would like to bring
    in my husband to look the car over.  I said I would love to,
    but his ashes were down the side of a mountain, and what would
    he suggest I do?  Needless to say, I sailed out of that place!
    I purchased a car from a salesperson who told me later he knew
    he had a customer who was savvy when I chose to take the car
    down a frost-heaved and curvy road instead of the smooth turnpike.
    I certainly was treated as if I knew what I wanted and wasn't
    given a "be a good little woman and let me talk with a man who
    *knows* what is what."  I have bought my second car from same
    dealer with same no-nonsense no-sexist attitudes.
    
    Marilyn
    
    
    
  
334.27SynagoguesULTRA::WITTENBERGSecure Systems for Insecure PeopleMon Apr 17 1989 16:249
    In the  last ten or so years Conservative Judaism has changed from
    keeping  women  in  a seperate section of the synagogue from which
    they  could  watch  but not participate to the point where most of
    the  synagogues  are egalitarian, with no distinctions between men
    and  women.  Since  there was a specific requirement that women be
    seperate,  I  find  this  change  to  be  remarkably swift despite
    starting much later than one would have wished.

--David