Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    My biggest fear is either that I'm going to die or that I'm going
    to live forever.
    
    --bonnie 

    My biggest fear is poverty, fear of being homeless or a "street
    person", of not being able to afford a decent place to live, or
    enough food, or a decent car, and decent clothes.
    
    Lorna
    

    thunderstorms
    
    motorcycles (I've been told since day 1 that they are death machines,
    so it's kind of ingrained - although they're fine for other people
    to ride)
    
    nobody liking me
    
    being broke
    

    Being alone.  I don't mean living my life alone, but literally,
    being alone.  I hate it, for anything more than an hour or so. 
    As long as someone is in the house, though, I don't need them actually
    sitting with me.  (This one probably should have gone under True
    Confessions!)
    
    Diana
      !

    Losing one or both hands.
    
    Steve
    

    My biggest fear?
    
    
    failing...
    
    or maybe even suceeding....
    
    Terri
    

    Things that I have no control over such as nuclear war, industrial
    accidents, careless and reckless drivers.
    
    ASP

    snakes
                                                   
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    Personally...losing my sight
    
    Death of my husband or kids
    
    
    or the larger scale Nuclear war or major global catastrophy
    
    Bonnie

    Fire
    

    Personal -
    
      Being in a ship or airplane wreck and being eaten by a shark  (my
      mom shouldn't have let me read all those Reader's Digest true stories
      in first grade!).
    
      Being attacked in the city.
    
      Being forced to move away from New England.  
    
      Stepping on a snake.
              
    Global -
      
      Nuclear war as portrayed in "The Day After"

	That if the holocust (or some other terrible thing) happened 
	near me I'd be one of the people who was afraid to speak out
	for the rights of others. liesl

    Little things:
    
    o talking to answering machines
    
    o arriving first at parties, especially if I don't know anybody
    there (primophobia? :-))
    
    o conversely, missing something by arriving too late
    
    Big things:

    o Being physically helpless and unable to communicate (that's the big
    one), and requiring the constant care of others. I dread the idea of
    total dependency, and even more the thought that I might not be able to
    be left alone when I wanted to be. 
    
    o Being laughed at.
    
    Things I'm not at all scared of: snakes, sharks, natural disasters, man-made
    disasters, death. (I'm not too fond of bugs, though.)
    
    -b

    One and only fear....
    
    Loosing My wife and freind, and children. 
    
    In anyway.  It would literally kill me.

    My biggest fear is that I'll be driving my car, with a passenger
    along, and get in an accident that kills the passenger but leaves
    me alive and well. Unless it was something that I couldn't have
    avoided under reasonable conditions (like, say, a drunk coming out
    of nowhere), the guilt would destroy me.
    
    On a more down-to-earth level: spiders.
    
    I don't mind (and even relish the prospect) growing old, and have
    no real fear of dying. I'm afraid of becoming senile, though.
    
    --- jerry

    My biggest fear is that I might let fear run my life.  (I'm in a
    constant state of terror :-))
    
    On a day to day level, I get real panicky in caves at about the
    point that I have to squeeze myself through a tight hole.   I'm 
    not real crazy about the idea of dying in a fire either.  
    
                   Dondi

    for myself:
    
    irreparable damage to my feet or legs [never being able to dance
    again]
    
    irreparable damage to my hands [not to create intricate melodies
    and stitchery ever again]
    
    loosing my sight
    
    
    on a more global level:
    
    a death of caring and commitment
    
      Ann

    	Losing my children or my wife.
    
    	RE: 65.14
    
    	Last Saturday three of us were scuba diving at Halibut Point.
    	There were three sharks with us the whole time. They were
    	small (about 3 to 3 1/2 feet), but we kept our eyes on them
    	the whole time.
    
    	I don't like snakes.
    
    	Scott

    That a nut will snatch my daughter and rape her before making her
    die a horrid and slow death.
    
    That my husband or I will be mangled irreparably in an accident
    and survive for many years, being unable to commit suicide and an
    enormous burden to everybody around us.
    
    Joana

    My biggest fear:
    
    The NUT that DID get to my daughter last month, won't be sentenced
    to a lifetime in jail...  That when she goes through the trial that
    it will bring out all that she can't remember, and that she will
    be worse.
    
    That somehow, someone else will end up breaking into my house again...
    that I won't be able to protect and stop the next guy...
    
    

    
    
    {gulp}  having to confront a good friend about something that 
    	    really bothers me.
    
    tom

    snakes
    public speaking
    heights
    closed-in places
    deep water
    fire
    plane crashes
    car accidents
    terminal illness
    nuclear war
    wide scale national depression like in the 1930's
    poverty
    loneliness
    old-age
    pain
    death
    
    I think that about covers it!!!!  Oh, and I'm afraid of horse back
    riding and motorcycles, too.
    
    Lorna
    
    P.S.  I may as well face it, I'm just plain scared!!!
    

	Whenever Tom's out late, I fear that he has died in a car
	accident. - In fact whenever I expect anyone to stop by
	and they're late I imagine them dead on the road.  Once
	when my sister was visiting me, she went out with a
	friend of hers on his motorcycle.  She didn't come home
	that night, so I called the police to find out if there'd
	been any accidents.  Her friend's mother made them stay
	the night because she thought they'd been drinking too much,
	and my sister waited until the morning to call so she wouldn't
	wake me (of course I was awake all night worrying :-) ).

	...Karen

    Losing my son
    Losing my brother
    Losing very close family members/friends
    Nuclear War                             
    Going bald                              
    Mice/Rats                               
             
    

    RE: .24  Hi, Tom!  Don't worry...You don't have any friends, do
    you??
    
    My true fear in life has always been being told by my gynecologist
    that my unborn child has some kind of birth defect or deformity
    or serious illness and the doctor wants me to decide his or her fate.
    I can't even contemplate having to decide to put my dog to sleep,
    let alone a human being.
    
    -- Sue
    
    (Bytheway, I'm not pregnant....never have been....)

    
    Losing my wife and/or son.
                     
    
    
    On a personal note, .23, I hope things work out ok for you and your
    daughter.

    My biggest fears are:
    
    Having to settle for second best
    
    Losing my mom and dad
    
    Flying
    
    

That the rest of my life will be the way it is now...

how boring :-}

JMB

    That my husband will die before me, leaving me alone
    
    Flying
    
    That I'll eventually have a baby because I'm pressured into it
    
    The Grinch (who Stole Christmas). (Well, it's no longer one of
      my WORST fears, but it's up there.)
    

    Fears:
    	
    Having one my kids snatched
    
    Learning that the universe is really a giant alien's toy and he/she
    has tired of it and will flush it down the toilet. (black hole)
    
    Having to repeat my time in Nam.
    	

    SPIDERS!
    (I can take mice,rats,snakes,anything esle!)
    
    That when I retire I won't be able to have enough to be independent.
        
    That I will lose my sight( I have glaucoma so that is somewhat of
    a rational fear)
    
    

- that developers and rich people will buy up all the available land and
  turn it into condos or places that us common folk can't use (like the
  shores of many lakes and ponds), and that we won't be able to get out
  into the country and sleep under the stars and watch the wild animals
  romp...paradise just seems to be getting farther and farther away..sigh

- the death of a loved one

- "Big Brother"

Jenna

    Personal:
    
    That some person or institution will have me declared mentally
    incapable and take over my life.  That instead of becoming a happy,
    eccentric old woman, I will be forced into an ordered, "normal"
    lifestyle and have to give up untidiness, animals, daydreaming,
    irrational behavior, and control over my own future.
    
    Heights - especially going *down*
    
    That my family loves me for what I do for them and not for who I
    am.
    
    Vulnerability
    
    
    Global:
    
    THat human "civilization" will progressively destroy the living
    earth and all the trees and birds and flowers that I love.
    
    Nuclear holocaust
    
    				Pat

    One of the earlier replies triggered a fear I used to (still do)
    have:
    
    - sleeping with someone (using contraception, of course) and finding
      out that she became pregnant.  I once went through a stage where
      although my partner was using the pill, I got incredibly paranoid
      that "maybe she wasn't always."  

    Heights
    
    Dying
    
    spiders, snakes, etc.
    

    
    Living life in the drift...    
    
    Having no hope of a love relationship now or ever.
    
    Finding an R-snake in my bed...

    
    Will I be able to care for my parents as they grow older?
    
    Walking up open stairways (fire escapes, etc)

    Losing the use of my hands or eyes

    Ticks 
    

    re: 65.40
    
    > Walking up open stairways (fire escapes, etc)

    wow. i had that one for years, and never knew that anyone else feared
    the same thing. on occasion, i was physically unable to walk up
    that type of staircase (walking down was ok because i couldn't see
    the holes). i also had lots of trouble walking on flat surfaces
    with holes in them that allowed me to see way down (like docks or
    railroad tressles). fortunately for me, this fear has become far
    more manageable.
    
    liz

    Re .40, .41, I'm afraid of open stairways, etc., too.  (I include
    that with fear of heights.)  The thought of it makes me feel like
    becoming hysterical - yuck!
    
    Having to walk across narrow, swinging, foot bridges that are suspended
    over extremely deep canyons horrifies me, too.  I once had to walk
    across one - The Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancouver, B.C.,
    and thought I was going to die of fear.
    
    Lorna
    

    There is a bridge in West Virginia over the New River Gorge. It
    is the largest steel-arch bridge in the world and is 800 ft above
    the river. Underneath the bridge is a catwalk for maintenance.
    
    I was down there visiting a friend and rafted down the New River
    to the base of this bridge. We then drove up to the bridge and sneaked
    under to the catwalk. Walking out to the center of the span, I
    experiance the most prolonged sensation of fear ever. Now I am not
    normally afraid of heights, but I was very nearly paralyzed. It
    was only the urging of my friends that got me out to the center.
    
    Once out there, I was fine, and the walk bak was no problem. It
    was a beautiful view of the gorge, to be suspended 800 ft above
    it. With absolutely nothing under you (except about an 1/8 inch
    of steel plate 2ft wide). Once we got out there, though, we realized
    that none of us had brought a camera. <sigh>
    
                                                   
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    I was very nearly undone by driving the "Sunshine Skyway" in Florida.
    
    It's a bridge over the Gulf of Mexico - a quarter of a mile high,
    with the remnants of the *original* bridge - well, half of it -
    still next to the new one.
    
    Seems the old one was struck by a barge on one of its abutments.
    That's why there's only half of it left.
    
    It's a hell of a long way down.
    
    --DE
    

    death in general and (even worse) dying slowly in an
        auto accident
    
    losing any part of my body (eyes, arms, hands, leg, etc)
    
    *any* kind of bug
    
    having an alert mind but a vegetable for a body
    
    and on a lighter note........... not having any credit cards!
    

    	Losing my job and being out on the street.
    
    	Snakes.
    
    	Being the victim of a personal violent attack.

	Having family take away all of my possessions and put me in
    	a home because they think I "can't take care of myself", like
    	happened to my grandmother this year.
    
    	Linda

        I've recently realized that I fear that we've polluted the planet
    to the point of no return.  Reading the latest articles on what's
    happening certainly doesn't alleviate my fears.
    
    ASP

    Inviting friends to your own party and no one turning up on the
    night.. 
    
    And a real biggie....
    
    Needles (yuk, yuk, yuk!)
    
    

    I'll have to add myself to the fear-of-open-stairways people --
    though I can go up without trouble.  It's going down, when I know
    I can fall, that I have problems.  I'm not afraid of heights as
    such, I'm afraid of falling, which isn't the same thing.  The
    Florida bridge wouldn't bother me in the least. But if it's more
    than a few feet up and I can fall over a low railing or through a
    crack . . . panic city. 

    --bonnie

    I haven't seen anyone mention what I thought was a fairly common
    fear: caves.
    
    The most terrifying experience of my life: I went caving (aka
    spelunking) for the first time in my life at <mumble> in the Albany
    area.  There was a particular section called "the gunbarrel", a
    60 foot long tube through the rock, approc 2 feet by 1 foot.  The
    only way to get through is hold your lamp in your hands, with your
    arms stright out in front of you, and squirm.  And once you get
    through, the *only* way out is back through the other direction.
    
    So there I was, half way through, but couldn't see the light at
    the end of the tunnel, and I had the first and only phobic attack
    I have ever had...all the symptoms: my pulse increase, my mouth
    got dry, and I got this almost unrepressable urge to scream at the
    top of my lungs.  It took about a half an hour of people at both
    ends coaxing me along to get me through...and then I had to go through
    again to get out!
    
    The scariest part was - what if I hadn't been able to get out? 
    What would they have done then?  And what about the people who had
    already gone through, and couldn't get out cause I was in the passage?
    I will never, *ever* go into a cave again!
                                               
    Diana
      !
    

    Re .50, I include caves under fear of enclosed places which I did
    list.  There is not enough money on the face of the earth to make
    me go in that cave you describe.  It takes all my courage to remain
    cool, and calm and unconcerned when I go on an elevator.  I hope
    I am never on one that gets stuck between floors as I will assuredly
    become hysterical.  I only go on alone in extreme emergencies -
    like if I was alone and had to go to an office in the John Hancock
    Building or something.  I'd rather climb the stairs usually.
    
    Lorna
    
    P.S.  And, how about those stupid kids who used to hide in car trunks
    so they wouldn't have to pay to get into the drive-in movies?  Fools!
     I wouldn't have done that for the world.  All you need is one weird
    kid to decide not to let you out again and you're dead!
    

    THE DARK, I HATE THE DARK......
    

    re .50:
    
    > There was a particular section called "the gunbarrel", a
    > 60 foot long tube through the rock, approc 2 feet by 1 foot.  The
    > only way to get through is hold your lamp in your hands, with your
    > arms stright out in front of you, and squirm.
      
    You think that's bad, imagine the same thing (only not as long)
    but under water. I have heard of caves like that. I could handle
    the gunbarrel, but not under water.
                                                   
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    >> There was a particular section called "the gunbarrel", a
    >> 60 foot long tube through the rock, approc 2 feet by 1 foot.  The
    >> only way to get through is hold your lamp in your hands, with your
    >> arms stright out in front of you, and squirm.
      
    >You think that's bad, imagine the same thing (only not as long)
    >but under water. I have heard of caves like that. I could handle
    >the gunbarrel, but not under water.
    
    Well, caving is not particularly dangerous, (as I understand it)
    as long as you stick to well-established caves (ie: determined to
    have neglible danger of caving in.)  But scuba diving in caves,
    even "established" caves, is considered exrememly dangerous. In
    my certification class, we discussed cave diving a bit, but the
    instructer basically said "Never do this."  There are special advanced
    certifications for cave diving.  
    
    Anyway, of fear of diving in caves is *extremely* rational considering
    that many diving deaths arise from cave diving - you get disoriented,
    for one thing.  And another, if you run out of air, you are just
    screwed, whereas in normal open water diving running out of air
    is not particularly dangerous.  
    
    But I'll tell you, must as I love diving, my expereince in a dry
    cave certainly convinced never to try cave diving!
    
    Diana
      !

    I forgot to mention another one of my biggies......
    being upside down! I simply CAN'T handle diving straight
    into the water from a diving board.....have to do the
    "swimmer's dive" (something short of a belly flop).

    I have a real problem with crowds.  Christmas shopping is a disaster
    if I wait till the last minute, which I usually do.  Really crowded
    bars terrify me.
    
    If I died in my sleep and my daughter found me.  
    
    Being alone forever
    
    vivian
    

    Dying badly.
    
    Having to care for my parents who have become senile.  (Unlikely
    in my mother's case, at least.)
    
    Failing the I.R.S. audit of Noreascon Three.
    
    Never getting my, uh, stuff together.
    
    							Ann B.
    
    P.S.  I'd like to thank my father for gritting his teeth and not
    passing his claustrophobia on to me and my brother, even when they
    put the lights out in Howe Caverns.

    My husband and I have very full lives right now.  We both agree
    that we will probably enjoy our separate lives for now and the near
    future (we have a "commuter" marriage right now), and spend much
    more time together in years to come.  We are both looking forward
    to this.  Now and then it crosses my mind (like when he is late
    and I start to think he's been in an accident) that I hope I will
    not wish we had spent more time together while we could.
    
    Marion

o  Separation from God

o  Losing my husband and/or daughter

o  crowded elevators

    - Heights
    - Snakes
    - Fire
    - Steve King's books
    
    P.
    

    re .54:
    
    To clarify; I was not talking about scuba diving in caves, but a
    cave where the only way to get to the next chamber is through the
    underground river that runs through the cave.
                                                   
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    My biggest fear is that I will never be a really burning musician,
    or really succeed in music, but will always be a sort of okay player,
    and that I will look back in later life and have major regrets about
    this.
    
    Roberta
    

    Mine:
    -swimming in open water(no matter how deep) i.e.lakes,ocean
    -Falling thru ice on a lake skating or ice fishing(remember the
    scene from Damien the omen II?)
    -having my legs restricted i.e.tied,held this goes back to an injury
    I had as a child where both legs were bandaged together for 1 year.
    
    -The lost of either of my parents,brother or sister.
    
    -Falling in love(again) with someone that dosent feel the same way.
    
    De biggie- Never finding a special someone to share my life with
    and dieing alone.
    
    -j

    
    Major:
    
      1. Dying before completing my goals in life.
      2. Never being able to really enjoy life.
      3. Creditors.
      4. AIDS
    
    Minor:
      
      1. I have a habit of scratching my inner ear with a pencil.  One
         day some "jolly joker" is goint to slap my hand driving the
         pencil through my eardrum and into the gray matter (notice
         I didn't say brain!).

    MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT I WON'T GET MARRIED AND THAT I WON'T BE
    ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN.
    
    
    
    

    Don't know if you are equating the two at all, or which is the 
    biggest fear, but you don't have to be married to have children.
    There is a national group called Single Mother's by Choice.  I
    saw a program on TV about them some time ago.
    	Linda

    LOSING MY KIDS. THEY WILL BE GOING TO VISIT THEIR GRANDPARENTS
    RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS , A 400 MILE DRIVE. IM TERRIFIED EVERY TIME
    THEY MAKE THAT TRIP THAT I WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.

    ...DRIVNG ON SHEER ICEY ROADS THAT ARE TWISTY, WINDING, AND HILLY!

    Yes, I know I am shouting!   Just got back from a trip to Cornish,
    Maine!  Great drive back in nice clear weather and sunshine!  Did
    experience a tad, just a tad mind you, bit of sheer anxiety on the
    way up Saturday night.  Didn't think we would make it....the last 
    10 miles were on what they call "greasey roads" in them there hills
    of Maine!

    justme....jacqui

    MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS WORLD WILL EVER END
    
    2)GETTING DEVORCED

    
    THE BIGGEST FEAR WE SHOULD ALL HAVE IS;
             
    
                                         A  I  D  S  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note, I was watching a comedy a week or two ago and two women were
discussing their biggest fears and one said, "My biggest fear is that someday
I'll find out that there is no such thing as PMS and this is the real me."

It's now my favorite line!

    RE: -1
    
    I got a kick outa that one! 
    
    -Dotti.

    re:.62
    yes...extremely!
    

    Losing all "open space" as in all acreage being built upon with
    no fields or forests or desert.