Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    I was getting obscene phone calls from someone who knew my name,
    many years ago when we lived in Maynard.  It was obvious that I
    didn't know him, he must have gotten my name from the phone book.
    Each time he'd say something like "Hello Karen..." or "Hello, is
    this Karen?"  Of course by then he's got a small conversation 
    going.  As soon as he got obscene I hung up.  After many phone
    calls to the phone company I concluded that there wasn't much I
    could reasonably do, so we changed our phone number, made it
    unlisted and changed the phone company account from Barth, Ed 
    and Karen, to Barth, Ed.  I hated to do that, but if they don't
    know there's a woman there they leave you alone.  Sigh.
    
    On a lighter note...
    
    In college I was awakened one night at about 3 am.  I was half
    asleep and had trouble understanding what the caller was saying.
    I finally realized that he was asking me for my bra size.  Not
    being awake enough to get mad, I said "I don't wear one!" and 
    hung up.  ;-)
    
    Karen.

    	During one of my first few years on my own, I got a series
    	of terrifying obscene phone calls (where the person said he
    	knew where I lived and would come get me if I didn't agree
    	to meet him somewhere.)  The part that scared me the most
    	was when I went to stay with my folks for a few days in
    	between moves and he called me at their home (threatening
    	to hurt THEM as well as me if I didn't meet him.)
    
    	I'm not sure now why I didn't call the police (but then again,
    	I was a teenager, so I may not have realized that it was an
    	option.)
    
    	What I did was to start hanging up the split second I recognized
    	his voice.  He called back a number of times after that, then
    	got bored with it, evidently.  As I understand it, the whole
    	point of making these calls is to hear how scared or disgusted
    	the recipient of the call can sound, so it's rather pointless
    	to call if the person won't let the obscene caller get a single
    	word out.
    
    	About 4 years ago, when I was in Massachusetts for training,
    	I got a series of obscene calls one morning between 8 and 9am
    	on a Saturday.  I said "Isn't it a little early for this kind
    	of call?"  I hung up and he kept calling back, so finally I tried
    	something different.  When he called, I took a very threatening
    	tone and said, "WHO IS THIS?  WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?
    	WHERE ARE YOU CALLING FROM?" (and HE hung up on ME!)  :-)

    	The most recent series of obscene phone calls (about two years
    	ago) ended when the person called up to say something obscene
    	and I thought it was a friend playing a joke on me.  I started
    	laughing, and then when my son got on a few seconds later (to
    	see if the call was for him,) I laughed even harder.  My son
    	asked me what was so funny, and I tried to tell him what the
    	person had said to me (leaving out the dirty words.)  My son
    	and I both started laughing so hard -- the harder I laughed,
    	the harder HE would laugh -- until we were both completely
    	unable to talk.  The obscene caller hung up without saying
    	another word either (and never called back.)

    	I guess it must be pretty humiliating to get laughed at while
    	you're trying to be disgusting or scary.  :-)
    
    	It seems to me that any of these three techniques are worth
    	a try.  (Do be sure and call the police and/or the phone
    	company if the calls persist, though!)

    
    I don't have any suggestions, really, as I'm always caught by surprise
    by an obscene call and just do "what comes natural" i.e., hang up,
    and have never been bothered by "repeat offenders".
    
    However, I've gotten more obscene calls in the past year than I'd
    gotten in the 8 years previous to that.  For those 8 years, I didn't
    have a phone number in my name.  Previous to that, any phone in
    my name was always listed under C.M. Quiriy, because I was following
    a "rule" I'd heard somewhere along the line, the one that said "If
    a woman has her phone listed under her name, she'll get annoying
    calls."  Well, when I started wondering why I was "all of a sudden"
    getting obscene calls, I realised that I'd forgotten to follow the 
    rule this time around, and that the phone I have now is listed under 
    Christine Quiriy.  It ain't the way it should be, but that's the
    way it is.  The calls I've been getting haven't been frequent enough
    or bothersome enough for me to change it to just my initials, which 
    I'd rather not do just on the principal of the thing, but I'd say 
    that's probably the best way to prevent it.
                               
    CQ

	Men also get obscene calls. The first phone call
	I got at my present home was an obscene one. I just
	hang up.

	If you get a person that keeps calling back, and you 
	have the "call forwarding" feature on your telephone
	service, you might try forwarding your calls to the
	local police station for a few minutes.

						Tom_K

    There is a note in ANYWAY::ASKENET recently on this topic.  The
    general advice is to call the phone company and they will advise
    you on your options.  The most common seems to be that they start
    tracking who calls you, and you let them know the time of an obscene
    call so they can check their records.  The introductory pages of your
    phone book has additional advice.
    
    				Steve

    
    I think in order for them to be willing to track the call, you have
    to tell them you are willing to prosecute when the offender is caught.
    On the other hand, I don't know how they can force you to do so
    if you change your mind.
    
    Roberta

    We don't get obscene calls per se but alot of kids calling and not
    saying anything. these come mostly at dinner and disturb our meal.
    After 2 or 3 I answer the phone with my most official voice 
    
    "STATE POLICE BARRACKS OFFICER JONES, MAY I HELP YOU"
    
    This ususally stops them

    When I was 19 I managed an art film movie theatre.  It
    had previously been an X-rated theatre.  We got several
    rashes of obscene phone calls.  Everybody had her own
    technique for handling these.  One stuck the receiver
    in the popcorn machine until the caller hung up.  Another
    adked the guy if his girlfriend was out of town and why
    he felt this was necessary.  She talked to him for about 30
    minutes.  I would just wait for the appropriate phrase and
    ask, "Football?  Baseball?  Volleyball?  Basketball?
    Pinball?  Bowlingball?"  None of them ever called back.
    
    Nanci

    	Back in the late 70s, I was acquainted with all the deputies
    	in the country (Paulding Co, Ohio). I even rode with them
    	at times. One night, we tracked an obscene called using
    	a phone trap. After the call is made, the person receiving
    	the call does not hang up. The phone company can then back
    	track to the number where the call originated. I'm sure
    	there are more sophisticated gimmicks out there now to
    	stop/catch this kind of thing.
    
    	I thought the trick of laughing hysterically was a good
    	idea.
    
    	Scott

    When I was about 14, while my family was sitting around the dinner
    table (passing jokes with the bread), the phone rang.  I answered
    it, and it was an obsene phone call.  The guy was saying all kinds
    of interesting things that can not be repeated here.  I sat and
    listened, and when he finished, saying "What do you think about
    that?",  I replied "Sorry, but I'm busy tonight.  Maybe next week,
    or, how about Saturday?"  He stuttered and hung up.
    
    Now, I know that that is not always the best action, but it worked!
    And my family got a good laugh out of it, and that guy never called
    our house again.
    
    K.C.

    There was a male caller at one point who called a lot of men on
    my college campus.  My then-SO got a call from him one day, and
    thoroughly forewarned, proceeded to bait this guy, who was looking
    for some action.  At the most thoroughly descriptive and propositional
    point in the conversation (my SO had not mentioned he had a girlfriend,
    or anything about women, up to that point in the conversation),
    the obscene caller asked if my SO liked a particular activity. 
    He said yeah, particularly when his girlfriend did it.  The guy
    hung up immediately, as he presumably didn't want to deal with someone
    strait.
    
    An alternate suggestion is for a woman to launch into a radical
    description of a female lover when a male-obscene-caller is on the
    line.  I've heard that one works to turn 'em off, too.
    
    -Jody
    
    

Much of the advice in the previous replies is good.  Here's what New England
Telephone had us do when my wife got a series of harrassing calls a few years
ago:

   1.	As soon as you recognize the call as harrassing, hang up.  Don't
	try to talk to the caller.

   2.	If the calls persist, call the local telephone co.  They will have
	you keep track of the calls for about a week.

   3.	If they still persist, they can put what amounts to a phone number
	tap on your phone (if your local exchange has a modern electronic
	switch).  This will cause a terminal somewhere in the phone co. to
	log the phone number of all the calls made to your phone (if the
	calls are coming from a local exchange), or the trunk number from
	which they are coming (if the call is more remote).

   4.	Whenever you get a harrassing call, hang up.  Then immediately call
	a phone co. number which will connect you to an answering machine.
	You give the machine your name, phone number, and exact (to within
	a couple of minutes) time of the harrassing call.

   5.	If the calls are coming repeatedly from the same number, the phone
	co. will notify the local police.  The police will then call you,
	and discuss who might be calling you from that number.  (The phone
	co. will not reveal the number to you themselves; only the police
	can do that.)  Often the police can take it from there.

Modern switching equipment makes it much easier to trace a call than it used
to be, particularly if they know to expect a harrassing call.  And the police
can be a great help.  In my wife's case a former student of hers was harras-
sing her.  A visit to his family by the local police not only stopped the
calls but also brought forth a letter of apology.

So don't neglect to call the phone co. if the calls persist.

						--Q (Dick Wagman)

    
    The dispatcher for the local police department had suggested to me at
    one time that whenever an obscene telephone call came through, I should
    dial one number on the telephone dial and say something like, "Operator,
    this is the call I want traced."  
    
    I've used this on several occasions and it's never failed.  The caller
    immediately hangs up.
    
    Beckie

    I've never had someone persistently harass me.  The few times
    I've gotten an obscene phone call and recognized it, I've
    just hung up--they usually don't call back.  When I've gotten
    a phone call from someone who mumbles unintelligibly at me, I
    say crisply "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to understand you.
    Would you speak up, please?"  Usually the mumble hangs up
    immediately, and it's only afterwards that I'm able to
    reconstruct enough of the mumbling to figure out that it was
    probably an obscene phone call.

    I did once get a call from someone who asked my SO for me, by
    name.  This person started making suggestive comments, and I
    asked who he was.  He refused to tell me, and wanted me to
    guess.  I snapped "If you know me, which I'm beginning to
    doubt, you know that I'm physically nearly unable to
    distinguish voices on the phone.  Who are you?"  He hung up.
    I still don't know if he was someone I knew.

    On a lighter note, I occasionally get a call at 3am from a
    giggly person who wants to know if Bill Cosby, or some other
    actor/character from the TV Huxtable family is there.  Since
    they've never called enough to irritate me, I'm still amused.

    -- Linda

    RE.13
    
    I got the same advise about the dialing one or two numbers and saying
    this is the call I want traced.  I recently got a call in the middle
    of the night and hung up immediately.  When he called back I had
    my "sweetie" answer and the guy didn't call back for some reason..
    Once some guy called and asked me if I wanted to do all kinds of
    obscene things.  I said "sure, but he's asleep right now" and hung
    up.  He didn't call back either.
    I often wonder though, what kind of sicko gets his/her jollies out
    of doing this kind of thing.  Can't say it's on my list of "fun
    things to do".  

    I don't get these kind of calls very often - maybe because I have a
    pretty deep voice for a woman (most very tall women do; at least the
    women who buy clothes from the same Tall Girls store I go to all seem
    to be low-alto or deeper voiced).  One recent one was during a big
    party:
    
    caller: pant...pant...<mumble>...<mumble>...pant...pant
    
    me: Please speak up!  I can't hear you over the racket here!
    
    caller: PANT...PANT...<OBSCENE SUGGESTION>...PANT...PANT
    
    me: HEEEHEEEHEEE - BOY DO YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!! HEEEHEEEHEEE
    
    caller: <click!>
    
    That usually works; these sickies are expecting disgust or fright, not
    laughter.
    
    On the other hand, the ones who call up and threaten me, especially if
    they have my name, really do frighten me - you never know whether they
    will actually do anything (I suppose most of them won't - it's just
    that no one I know would make a threat if they weren't prepared to
    carry it out - I guess I don't have many "sickies" among my friends!).
    
    /Charlotte

    What a coincedence!
    
    I get sporadic obscene calls from the same guy who calls himself
    Bill.  They started last year when I (silly me!) had a message
    on my answering machine that beagn with "Hi, This is Stace..."
    for a short time.  I got a couple of calls that week by a caller
    who asked for me by name.  The first one was a trip,  my mother
    answered the phone and "Bill" asked for Stacie.  My mother said
    that I was her daughter and that I wasn't at home, but that she'd 
    take a message.  "Bill" told my mother that he always talked to 
    me when he needed to "come off," and he needed someone to talk to.
    
    My mother completely misunderstood him, she thought he was saying
    that he needed someone to talk to about his problems or whatever,
    so she said that she'd gladly talk to him if he wanted someone to
    listen.  (This was all completely innocent, she thought it was a
    friend of mine who was depressed, she had no idea what he meant
    by coming off or whatever he said)  "Bill" was thrilled and proceeded
    to start chatting it up the way obscene callers do...
    
    What a riot.  Anyway, he called the other day and left quite the
    message, but this time he identified himself as "Steve" which
    is my ex-SO's name.  He got it from the time I heard him
    "start in" and I said "Steve, is this you?"    My current SO was
    less-than-amused.
    
    Stacie
                                                                      
    
    

    I am listed in the phone book under my first name instead of an
    initial which some people think deters those types of callers.
    
    However, I have certainly gotten my share of calls.  One caller
    persisted for over several months calling sometimes only 1 or 2
    times a month.  I simply hung up and when he called back, let the
    phone ring.
    
    The last time I called, I think he got discouraged because I took
    the phone into the bathroom, hung it over the toilet, and flushed
    it!  No more from *him*.
    
    M

    This works for me - I walk into the kitchen, get a spoon, pick up
    the phone again, and bang the daylights out of the mouthpiece, then
    hang up - usually the caller has already hung up!!!
    
    
    

    Re:0 and the rest.. The best way to stop a caller is to use the
    Sports effect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    A whistle blown will do more wonders than anything else!!
    
                    REK
    
    PS this has worked for a friend of mine with great success!!!

    Re .21 - blowing a whistle on an obscene caller
    
    I think this may have already been mentioned, but...
    
    I do recall hearing a while ago that you could be held liable if you
    damage someone's hearing by blowing a whistle into the telephone.
    
    It's along the same lines as if you hurt a burglar who has broken 
    into your house.
    
    (I don't agree with these rulings, but beware!)
    
    --Sharon
    

     Sharon, thay have to prove it first! Just like if some one breaks
    into your house...put a knife in their hand.....
    
                  REK

    re .23  First, tampering with evidence is a crime.
    
    Second, advising someone to tamper with evidence is
    also a crime, to wit, suborning perjury.
    
    Third, modern forensics *will* catch you if you try this.
    
    Fourth, if you are caught in a lie, your credibility with
    any jury becomes *zero*, and no matter how righteous your
    actions, your backside will go to prison.    
    
    Spare us the old wives tales.
    
    
    

    [I've tried whistles, but have had mixed success with them.  Also
    the cats relocate them so I never have one handy.]
    
    What seems to work best is to talk 'reasonably'... and vary the
    pace.
    
    Asking for clarification and endless details works for some.  They'll
    usually hang up on me rather than explain themselves.
    
    Being infernally naive works well too.  And I get a peculiar thrill
    as I hear the frustration level rising.
    
    My best results, though, usually come as a result of interrupting
    and explaining that I am unable to entertain as the house is a mess.
    Apparently something as mundane as housework kills the mood.
    
    Once I told a threatening caller that I was a paraplegic.  He
    apologised and hung up. 
    
       Ann    

    
    I would imagine the compressed air horns used for pleasure
    boating would work admirably!
    
    TF

    Re:24 And nobody ever goes over the speed limit..
    I was being a little sarcastic, but not about the whistle.
    I can see fit now... In a court of law...
    
    "Your Honor, I was having a phone converstion with the defendant
    when that person blew a whistle into the phone injurying my
    ear."
    
    "Your honor, he was making obscene comments to me and would not
    stop it."
    
     I wonder what would happen....
    
                 REK
    
    

re .27

	Under today's topsy-turvey legal system, when attacked,
	an innocent victim must make an effort to run away if
	possible. In this case, that would mean hanging up,
	rather than blowing a whistle. I can easily see a judge
	ordering damages to the caller.

					Tom_K

When I was a student in Sweden, one of the women in my dorm, a pre-med
student, was spending the summer working in a hospital and living in
the suburbs with her boy-friend.  Every day, when she walked to the
subway stop, a man jumped out of the bushes and exposed himself to her.

Having read Lars Ulvenstam's "The Erotic Minorities," she knew this wasn't
a sexual act, but an agressive one: he was trying to frighten her. Taking
pity on him, every day she screamed and ran away.

One of the things that bothers me about the tone of this discussion is
that many people are responding to what is essentially an act of agression
with equally agressive responses.  While it may give you some pleasure to
blow an airhorn into the phone, I'm not convinced that it solves the
problem (for the next woman, if not for yourself).

Martin.

    When my mother was in her early 20's, she was approached by a flasher.
    She looked at him and said "My husband has one just like that!"
    He quietly walked away.
    
    In my senior year of high school, just a week before graduation,
    I got a "death threat" (Actually, the words were "I'm gonna f*ckin'
    kill you, Karen!").  My mother and I picked up the phone at the
    same time, and she did all of the talking (we sound exactly alike
    on the phone).  The person called back about 4 times, each time
    talking to mom but thinking that it was me.  We had called for a
    trace, but it wasn't activated until after the 4th time, which was
    the last.  I never found out who it was, even though I had an idea
    that it was a girl that had been beating me up since my sophomore
    year.  One of the times she called, my mom, sick of the whole thing,
    set a date for the "killing".  She said something to the effect
    of "So, when do you want to get it done?  Tomorrow, next week? 
    Come on, give me a date so I can be ready!"  That girl must have
    either thought me a fool, or very brave.
    
    K.C.

    What about this?  Yesterday afternoon when I got home from work,
    my husband told me there were two obscene phone calls on our answering
    machine.  I did all the talking on the answering machine greeting,
    giving only our last name and saying "we are not at home".  This
    was a female person of a different nationality than we are saying she
    wanted to do all these things to my husband and what she wanted him to
    do to her.  Then, she said "OH, WELL, I guess I'll call back" and
    she did. On the second call she was moaning and groaning and carrying
    on like a dog in heat.  If she calls back today, I'll call the phone
    company.  I'm hoping this is just someone with a lower intellect
    that had nothing better to do!! 

re .31

>	saying "we are not at home".

	If I were a thief and I had targeted a particular house,
	I think I'd call first to see if there was anyone there. 
	You have just told such a person that no one is at home. You
	might consider saying that you do not answer your phone until 
	the person calling identifies themself. That way you 
	can use the phone machine to screen your calls against
	obscene callers, salespersons, sales machines etc, and as a
	bonus, you do not tell a prospective thief that the house is empty.

	Or am I being silly and paranoid?

						Tom_K

    Tom_K
    
    Actually, my exact words are "We are unable to answer your call
    right now".  .31 was just a generalization of what happened last
    night.  Thanks though for the caution light.

    It's been awhile since I've gotten an obscene phone call, but the
    last one that I remember well was a man who phoned continuously
    about 6-8 times for several days in a row.  I tried the phone company's
    advice about hanging up to no avail.  Finally, in frustration, my
    husband and I came up with a plan... The next time he called, I
    insisted on meeting him and "set a date" for a downtown location.
    I told him what color dress I would be wearing and when I would
    be there.  He agreed to the meeting.  My husband and a friend then
    attempted to keep my "date."  Naturally, no one ever showed up,
    and the phone calls abruptly ceased.                    
    
    
    Barb

    A friend of mine has this device he calls a "phone screen".  He
    and his family use it to prevent bogus calls.  I told him about
    the notes string and we think the phone screen would work great
    in stopping obsence calls. 
    
    if anyone is interested, send me mail.
    
    vivian

    Reply to .0,
    
    Purchase and use a phone answering machine.

    My non-aggressive method of dealing with such calls is not to hang
    up, but to gently set the receiver down and walk away for five to
    ten minutes, go watch TV, whatever.  When I come back, no one is
    there and I've rarely had repeat performances.
    
    I guess these bozos aren't into "doing their thing" to thin air.
    
    :-)
    
    Carol

Now available in the Wilmington DE area (and probably other random areas of the
country as well):  a call trace feature from the local phone company.  If you
get a call you don't like, just hang up.  Then dial a special code (a * fol-
lowed by two digits) and the call is automatically traced and recorded by
the phone company.

The only rub:  they get $2 per call traced!  Now *that* is highway robbery.
In any case, it's a feature which will no doubt become more widely available
in the next few years.  Perhaps it will be less expensive (or even free) in
other locales.

						--Q

    RE: .36  - My answering machine doesn't solve the problem.  I use my
    machine to answer calls only when I'm *not* home.  
    I do this because, despite attempts at re-training, my mother and 
    sister will hang up rather than talk to the machine, and they know 
    it answers after 3 rings, so if I wait for the machine to answer, 
    I risk losing their calls.  (Maybe I should move this to the 
    "I hate it when" note :-))
    
    Jane

    One of the best ways to handle it was done  within a household
    containing a mother  and a 17 year old daughter, and an 11 year old
    daughter.  They were getting repeated obscene calls from some guy, and
    it was very upsetting to the mother and the older daughter.  One day
    the 11 year old answered, he started in with her, and she replied
    "Breathe a little louder - maybe you'll scare me.", and hung up.  He
    never called back. 
    
    As for men getting these calls, it happened to my former SO - at a pay
    phone!  He was calling me for some reason, and the other phone started
    ringing, it started bothering him, so he answered to get it to stop
    ringing.  It was an obscene call, apparently from someone who lived
    line-of-site to that pay phone, who started telling him what he wanted
    to do to him, and who knew what he looked like. Probably for shock
    value.  Laughing about it didn't help...just hung up when the novelty
    wore off.  I guess you aren't safe from these things anywhere no matter
    what sex you are. 
    
    Elizabeth

    One more story to prove you're not safe anywhere...
    
    About five years ago I was working one of those 'festivals' to raise
    money for our local PBS station in L.A.  Between documentries they
    go back to the studio to hit you up for the donations.  I spent
    the whole night sitting next to consumer advocate David Horowitz 
    (Fight Back).  We chatted alot during show time but when the break
    came and the phones started ringing we went to work.  
    
    During the second break, Stephanie Edwards (a local celeb) introduced 
    me by name and announced that I wanted to challenge all Digital 
    employees to match my contribution.  Phones started ringing and a 
    fellow in the first row called back to me that he had someone on the 
    phone who wanted to speak to me.  Naturally I assumed it was a Deccie
    calling in to contribute.  Boy was I wrong.
    
    I took the phone and said "hi, this is Jodi, may I take your pledge?"
    This guy told me his name was Dick (yeah, right)  and that he had
    been watching me and thought that I was a fox and then proceeded to tell
    me all the things he'd like to do to me.  Luckily in 'festival' training
    you are taught how to handle crank calls.  I looked up at the monitor
    and sure enough the camera was on me so I very calmly slipped my
    hand over to the phone and depressed the receiver hook all the while
    still appearing to be taking a pledge.  After the camera moved to
    someone else I hung up the phone and walked back to my seat next
    to Horowitz.  David asked what that was all about and I told him
    it was an obscene phone call.  He mumbled something about 'fighting
    back' and then just laughed.  So did I.

    Jodi-

I once had an obcene phone call that knew my name and address and told me they
were coming over. I was alone since my SO at the time was out of town. It
scared me silly, and I had a hard time getting back to sleep. They called back
several times and I finally unplugged the phone and did that for a couple of
nights in  a row and they never called back. But it certainly played on
my fear of being home alone and having someone break in and attack me. (Even
though I knew logically that it was unlikely they (it sounded like more
than 1 person)  would come over it still scared me).

On a lighter note. I once answered the phone and had this interchange:

a guy said "Hi can I pop your cherry?" 

I was so surprised I said "What?". 

He said "Is this Dairy Ann's Ice Cream?" 

I said "No"

And then he apologized profusely. Apparently he had a friend at Dairy Ann's Ice
Cream and was calling her as a joke. He was extremely embarressed. I was
amused.

Muggsie

re .39 (I think)

    My sister had an answering machine on her phone for a while
    because she was getting harrassed by her ex.  My mom would
    call and talk to the answering machine (which apparently
    broadcast to the room while recording), "Hi, Lisa, pick up
    the phone, this is your mother!"  Seemed to work for them.

    -- Linda

    	RE:  .42 
    
    	Speaking of "accidental" obscene (or near to it) phone calls,
    	I made one of those MYSELF a few years back...
    
    	When my son and I lived in Denver (he was about 14 at the time,)
    	his room was two levels below mine (and he had his own bathroom
    	and private telephone,) so I used to call him on his phone from
    	upstairs in the morning sometimes to make sure that he was making
    	progress getting ready for school.
    
    	One morning, I was pretty sure that I'd heard his shower, but
    	I decided to call down to make sure he was getting dressed.
    	
    	So when I called down, I heard "Hello?" to which I responded
    	(in a sunshine-y voice,) "So, have we finished drying off from
    	our shower and are we ready to put clothes on?"
    
    	The response came back, "Excuse me??"
    
    	I said, "Ryan?"  He said, "Sorry, but you have the wrong number."
    
    	I was thoroughly embarrassed, but while trying to apologize,
    	the man just laughed and said that I had added a smile to his
    	day.  :-)
    
    	(I guess he felt that starting off his day with a woman interested
	in whether or not he was naked wasn't the worst thing that could
    	have happened to him.)  :-)

Re:  .45

>   I'd rather see the phone company charging more for optional service
>   fees than across the board rate hikes.

I agree with that.  But I don't see why preventing misuse of the public net-
work (harassing phone calls are illegal, after all) should rate as an option-
al service.  You don't have to pay a cop to come to your house to check out
a prowler in the region, after all; why should you pay for a similar tele-
phonic service?

						--Q

	I think the best thing would to fine obscene callers
	caught with this method a sufficient amount to pay for 
	the service. After all, it is they who are making the service
	necessary.

						Tom_K

    I read something in today's paper about a Japanese method of dealing
    with these calls:
    
    	"Japanese people who are bothered by obscene callers or by 
        unwanted sales representatives who phone at inconvenient times 
        have an easy and effective way to reply.  An electronic machine, 
        attached to the phone, allows the recipient of the call to press 
        a button, whereby a threatening male voice yells "WHAT THE *!@&!! 
        DO YOU WANT??  (in Japanese, of course).  Press another button, 
        and a 100-decibel blast goes off in the ear of the person who has 
        called."

    According to Bob Greene, this is one of "283 Useful Ideas From Japan"
    by Leonard Koren.
    
    Wonder if Sears carries this?
    
    :-)
    
    Carol
    

    -.48
    
    I love that one!  Boy, oh, boy, do I need that!  Effective?   I
    think it's great.   Where can I get one??
    
    -Dotti.

    The idea that someone (two somebodies?) proposed that those found
    to be making obscene calls be fined/surcharged for their service
    is great.  I wish they could make tracing a call easier, bag the
    little sucker, and make their monthly service (before long distance)
    charges skyrocket.  Say from whatever it is now, to $100 or so for
    the next 6 mo. or so after they catch them.  If it was a kid or
    something, you can bet that little Johnny won't be making too many
    phone calls on Mom & Dad's phones after that!
    
    What a great idea.
    
    Stacie

    It will work on a kid, but in the case of an adult, they have the
    option of disconnecting the phone, and using a pay-phone to make
    the obcene calls.  The other thing is, if the calls are being made
    from a business phone, the business would be the one fined.  Of
    course, the caller would probably be fired, but he can find another
    job, and the business pays.  I'd rather see something levied against
    the caller, like $300 or 300 days.
    
    Part of the fine could be used to fund the call-trace feature from
    the phone company.
    
    Remember, there are other uses of call tracing that would be useful to
    other people on non-criminals, for example, if your teenager calls and
    tells you she is spending the night with a friend, and the number from
    the local bar apears, you know what kind of trouble they're getting
    into.  Same with a runaway - you could at least find out what city
    (s)he called from. 
    
    Elizabeth

Re: .70

>    Remember, there are other uses of call tracing that would be useful to
>    other people on non-criminals, for example, if your teenager calls and
>    tells you she is spending the night with a friend, and the number from
>    the local bar apears, you know what kind of trouble they're getting
>    into.  Same with a runaway - you could at least find out what city
>    (s)he called from. 

    This has  been  discussed to death in the RISKS forum. The problem
    with this sort of technological fix is that people will defeat it.
    I  often  don't  want  someone to know my phone number when I call
    him.  When  I  call a store to see if they have something, I don't
    necessarily want them to be able to call me later. As for the idea
    about  runaways,  as  soon as it became public knowledge that they
    could be traced, they would stop calling. I'd rather know that the
    kid is alive and not know where than have no information. It seems
    that  we  can  always  argue that it would be convienent to lose a
    little  more  privacy.  Personally, I don't think we can afford to
    lose any privacy.

--David

    This was reccommended to a friend of mine about 12 years ago by the
    phone company. It worked for her, and it has worked for me, also. When
    the bozo calls, say nothing and hangup. The third time you get a call,
    gently click the reciever and calmly say "Operator, this is the call
    I'd like traced". Now, the operator isn't on the phone, and there is no
    trace going on, but jerk on the other end doesn't know that, hangs up
    and forgets your number. This has worked for me everytime I've used it.
    
    Deb

    
    When I left Delaware a couple of years ago, the phone companies were
    firing up their new "Star" services (activated using the asterisk key
    on pushbutton, tone-dialing phones).  These were various functions that
    were available for 50 cents an access.  One of the functions that would
    help avoid obscene phone callers was a "don't ever let the phone from
    which that last call originated reach this number again".  Another was
    a "save number of last caller" feature that didn't tell you the number
    -- it just let you make a complaint and then the police could obtain
    the number from the phone company, if they felt it was necessary to
    their investigation.
    
    							-- Mikey

    re:.46
    
    True, true, except that there is a big difference between the police,
    who are civil servants paid through our taxes, and the telephone
    company, which is a private business providing an optional service.
    
    --- jerry

    I like the "don't ever let the last caller reach this number again"
    
    I could use that one myself!!!!
    Makes a strong statement to an ex_SO!!!
    
    Stacie

Re:  .55

>   there is a big difference between the police, who are civil servants...,
>   and the telephone company, which is a private business...

If the local telephone companies can't keep harassing callers off the network
they will lose business from those who are afraid or can't fight back, and
ultimately the product will degrade.  So I see the function of keeping the
network clean as a cost of doing business, and I wouldn't mind paying for
that as part of the basic charge for my local service.  It's the same sort
of thing as pay toilets, I guess:  I prefer that hamburger joints offer free
restrooms, and cover their costs for them as part of the price of their other
products.

(Please, let's not do a pay toilet rathole here...)

Re: .56 (and a similar earlier reply)

Where can you get it?  It's being tested in a number of markets now.  Besides
Wilmington DE I had heard that it would soon be offered in the Burlington VT
area.  There is a limitation on all of this, though:  the numbers that can
be traced or blocked out are limited to your local calling area.  If someone
is harassing you via a long distance call the current system can't trace it
(they can only get as far as the trunk line on which it comes into the local
system).  Similarly, they can only block receipt of local phone numbers.  So
it's not perfect, yet.

As the phone companies gain experience with these products you can anticipate
that they will be offered in more regions through the country.  I have no
idea of what time table to expect, though.

						--Q

re: .58:
    One is called the "pen register", another the "polarity trap"
    and yet a third "voice print".
    
The "pen register" is a device that is attached to a phone that records
the calls *it* makes.  It cannot determine who is calling you.  Note that
the phone company/police can attach one to your phone without a court
order as the (American) courts have determined that this information
belongs to the phone company, not to you, and that the phone company
has no responsibility to keep this secret.

I'm not sure what a "polarity trap" is.  I suspect that it prevents
your phone from disconnecting from the network when you hang up, making
it easier to trace a call if the authorities suspect that it is originating
from your phone.

The voice print is a visual representation of speech.  The people who
sell the technology claim that it is an auditory fingerprint: that no
two people have the same voiceprint and that a "similar" voiceprint will
bind you to a previously-recorded message.  I, and others, would disagree.

----

Newer (i.e., electronic) telephone exchanges are able to record the
originating and receiving telephone numbers of calls originating
within the exchange. For calls originating outside the exchange, it
is not always possible for the receiving exchange to record the originating
number, but this technology will soon be available.  One side effect of
this will be a service that tells the receiver the caller's phone number.
Another will be a service to the caller not to transmit the phone number.
The phone company will sell both services, of course.

Another side-effect will be the proliferation of phone number lists.
For example, a department store might *sell* the numbers of people who
call their complaint department to a company who specializes in marketing to
curmudgeons.

Oh by the way, the new electronic telephone exhanges can tap your phone without
it being detectable.

Martin.

re .55

	If local telephone service were a free market enterprise
	I would be inclined to agree. However, because local telephone
	service is a government regulated legal monopoly, I can't 
	simply choose a telephone service that meets my needs if the
	present one doesn't. Therefore it seems reasonable that the
	government require the service I proposed. Note, it wouldn't
	cost the local telephone companies anything, as the service
	would be paid for via fines paid by convicted offenders. In
	fact, a reasonable profit on the service seems reasonable.


						Tom_K

Re: previous suggestions

well, this has certainly been a timely note for me.  last night 
about midnight i was awakened by a phone call.  when i answered 
the phone, i didn't hear anything, so i hung up.  30 seconds 
later, the phone rang again.  i answered it and heard a voice 
making an unpleasant suggestion.  i hung up.  about a minute 
later, another call.  this time i pressed down the switchhook and
said "operator, this is the one, ok" and hung up.  no more calls.

thanks to the people (i forget which replies) that suggested 
this.  when i've gotten these calls in the past, i usually just
hang up and they stop.  unfortunately, this was a persistent
caller. 

    I experienced these annoying calls a few times and here is my solution
    and it works.  I say to them "I am glad you called back so I could
    warn you that your name has been given to the police and they should
    be arriving at your house any minute".  No more calls!!
    

    Obscene phone calls are NOT funny, but have you ever hung up from
    one and said, "Shoot, I should have said _______", ain't hindsight
    grand?
    
    Well, about 2 months after my daughter was born, I got a call. 
    Some SYT (sweet young thing) asked for my husband.  He happens to
    be a Jr. and we were forever getting my father-in-laws insurance
    clients calling, so I asked which one they were calling for.  They
    said the one in his mid twenties, definately my husband.  I said
    he wasn't home from work yet, could I take a message??  She said
    "Yes, tell him I need what he has of mine".  That's when it hit
    me that it was "one of those calls".  So I said "Ok, I'll give him
    the message", and started to hang up.  
    
    SYT  "Don't you want to know what he has of mine" 
    Me   "No, but I'm sure you're just dying to tell me".  
    SYT  "He has by panties, from the last time we had sex together" 
    Me   "Well thank goodness he's getting it somewhere"
    SYT  "HUH??????"
    Me   "Sure, I just had a baby, and I can't so at least he is getting
          it somewhere and I don't have to worry about putting out, keep up
          the good work"
           
    You have never heard a phone slammed down as fast, or as hard as
    that one was....... and I didn't do the slamming, she did!
    
    Plus, she never called back again!
                                                                      
    My poor husband, ex now, thought I was crazy when he walked in and
    I told him what had happened, AND I was laughing about it.
    

    	I was just the receipient of a rather odd phone call.  A voice
    	(monotone, not really male or female) asked me "Would you put
    	me in a pot and cook me real slow?"  I replied "Only if you
    	were a lobster" thinking at first it was my favorite friend
    	joking around.  Then he/she said something else (I got real 
    	nervous and even though this happened earlier today I can't 
    	remember what was said) to which I gave an equally stupid reply
    	then said 'bye' and hung up.  I hope I don't hear from this 
    	person again.  I view prank, obscene and sales pitch calls
    	as a mild form of violation something I don't expect when I
    	answer my phone.
    	                
    Mary Jo

    
    
    Dear Ann Landers:
    
    	I hope you will print this letter and warn others who might
    be as stupid as I was.
    	I had an obscene phone call last night.  When I said, "I'm not
    interested in talking to you," there was a click and a woman who
    identified herself as an AT&T operator broke in and said, "Keep
    this man talking for at least five minutes.  This call is being
    monitored, and we want to trace the caller."  So, I played along
    with the creep, encouraging him to continue with his rotten, filthy
    talk.
    	I called New Jersey Bell immediately after the conversation
    was over, eager to know if they had traced the call.  The operator
    said, "We would never ask a customer to do such a thing!"
    	I feel like a fool.  Please pass the word to others and spare
    them the humiliation.
    
    				  	- Gullible in New Jersey

    Ann's response:
    
    	Don't be too hard on yourself.  Most people would have been
    taken in as you were.  The best way to deal with obscene phone calls
    is to hang up instantly.  Don't react.  Just hang up.
    
    				******

    Boy, that brings back memories.  Years ago I had a problem
    with a repeat caller.  I'd hang up and he'd just call back
    again an hour later.  This went on for a few days, then one
    day I just gently put the receiver on the kitchen floor, walked
    around it in loud shoes a few times (so he knew he was demoted to 
    the floor :-}  ), ran the water in the sink and started banging pots 
    and pans around.  He never called again.  Guess he wasn't interested
    in listening to me do the dishes. 
                                     
    Karen