Conference turris::womannotes-v2

    I guess my experience is mixed, Diana.  I have indeed sometimes been
    treated with less consideration than men received, and about half those
    times were by women.  
    
    My sense wasn't so much one of resentment, though, but more as if they
    were saying to me "I'm not as important as this man, and since you're a
    woman like me you're not as important either"...or sometimes "You're a
    woman so I know you'll understand that I have to fuss over his comfort
    more than yours because he expects it."
    
    I colluded, of course. :-(
    
    						=maggie 

    Well last night I had to face a personal situation which I realised
    brought out a side of me which confirmed this newspaper article!
    
    Every week, my man and I go to dancing classes.  We usually get
    there a bit early and see some of the more experienced super people
    dancing. We always feel a lot of respect for them as they are really
    skilled.  Well last night they must have been preparing for some
    public competition because one woman had a dress on made of sparkly
    white stuff.  It was actually more like half a dress, and cut away
    at the top of the thigh so you could see her pants! She had a very
    slim  figure and my immediate reaction was to say to my man that
    the dress was absolutely obscene and I would never wear anthing
    like that!   But inside a sneaking realisation set in that I would
    LOVE to have the skill and the figure to wear that!
    
    I realise I was trying to put this woman down because I was JEALOUS
    of her status in that situation.  I felt uncomfortable and so had
    to  admit out loud that of course I would  love to have that skill,
    dress, etc.   After that I felt much better.
    
    diana

    As a former waitron, I confess that there were times that I didn't
    treat women as well as I did men.  This had nothing whatsoever to
    do with jealousy.  It wasn't pretty either.  It was economic.
    
    It began innocently enough when I noticed that business-women didn't
    tip as well as busines-men during those long luncheons.  I was
    surprised and appalled as I had previously conjured up some convoluted
    logic that would expect women to be better tippers...'having been
    in the trenches' and all that.
    
    When I mentioned this lack of feminine largesse to my mother, I
    was informed that these women of her generation 'knew' that a 'lady
    simply doesn't tip.'
    
    Excuse me?
    
    Lusting after filthy lucre as I did, I pampered them as I thought
    might pamper me in return.  Until less 'ladylike' individuals who
    believed in tipping began to appear on the scene, those that I pampered
    were not often women.
    
    I told you it wasn't pretty.
    
      Ann

       One man's experience with tipping, as a Boston cab driver in
       the 1970s (both business and residential areas):
       
            Best tips -- women aged 60 and over and anyone, male or
                         female, who was a waitron or bartender
                         (consistently 25-40% of the metered fare)
       
            Next best -- men not wearing suits (20-40%)
       
            Next best -- men wearing suits (15-20%)
       
            Next best -- women aged 21-60 (10-20%, and usually _exactly_
                         15%)
       
            Worst -- teenagers, either gender (0-20%)
       
       --Mr Topaz

    Very little difference between "men wearing suits" and "women aged
    21 - 60!"

One woman's experience with tipping.

60's & 70s oral tradition from older waitrons said women didn't tip. 
Realized that many of the women were getting very impersonal service. 
Consciously rendered personalized service and tips went up.  

>    Best tips -- ... anyone who was a waitron or bartender

Yeah! My experience And my habit  :)

My worst tippers?  The more they polish the silverware, the lower the
                   tip. If they wet the napkin to polish, forget it.

Worst tipper of all time?  The 25 year old fellow who mistakenly handed 
                   me a $20 instead of a $1. I handed his $20 back and
                   earned a ten-cent tip. 
                                     
Least seen activity?  Couples on a date where he declines dessert and
                      she orders it.  The last year I waitressed, 
                      1972, saw two or three women do this.  

    Then there's the other side of the coin:  female waitrons who 
    ignore female customers BECAUSE they anticipate low/no tips.
    
    This happened to me and a female friend (the only two female
    customers) in a bar once.  The female bartender served our drinks,
    then ignored us for the rest of the evening.  She waited attentatively
    on all the other customers, asking them repeatedly if they wanted
    anything else; it almost became funny to watch her work her way
    around the square bar -- three and a half sides, then back-track.
    Studiously avoiding eye contact with us.  Finally we indicated
    we were ready to leave and wanted to settle the tab.  I explained
    to the lady that normally I tip 15% or more, depending on service,
    but that tonight I was leaving her nothing.  If, in the future,
    she wanted to "wait" on me, I'd tip her accordingly.
    
    She took the hint, improved her service during my later visits to
    the bar, and even learned my name and favorite drink in time.
    
    And I tipped her 20% minimum from then on.
    
    K.