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Conference turris::womannotes-v2

Title:ARCHIVE-- Topics of Interest to Women, Volume 2 --ARCHIVE
Notice:V2 is closed. TURRIS::WOMANNOTES-V5 is open.
Moderator:REGENT::BROOMHEAD
Created:Thu Jan 30 1986
Last Modified:Fri Jun 30 1995
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1105
Total number of notes:36379

546.0. "Truth in Bumper Stickers" by GEMVAX::KOTTLER () Fri Apr 14 1989 15:53

Seen on rear of car in Burlington Mall parking lot, a bright yellow sticker 
that read as follows:

	"LIFE'S A BITCH. THEN YOU MARRY ONE."

So much for conventional wisdom...

I move we hold a contest to elect **Miss Ogyny 1989**.

And for the lucky guy who wins: a large, luminous, lifelike statue of... 
The Goddess!

Dorian

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
546.1Feminist bumper stickerACESMK::POIRIERBe a Voice for Choice!Fri Apr 14 1989 16:268
    My best friend sent me a great bumper sticker:
    
    "Women Make Great Leaders!
     You're following one!"
    
    I like it.
    
    Suzanne
546.2exRUTLND::KUPTONTweeter and the Monkey ManFri Apr 14 1989 16:5822
    Non-Sexist but suggestive......please hit next unseen
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
                
    
    
    
    Dial 911....
    Make a cop come.
546.3ACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Fri Apr 14 1989 17:547
    My favorite (reported by a friend):
    
         So many pedestrians, so little time.
    
    Second favorite (spotted myself):
    
         I (spade) my (dog face)
546.4HAMSTR::IRLBACHERA middle class bag ladyFri Apr 14 1989 18:0311
    I like "Reality is for those who can't do drugs"
    
    and my favorite [which I guess I really didn't think anything
    of until several suggestive comments which I thought quite tasteless]
    
    Bumper sticker put out by Bloodroot restaurant in Bridgeport, CT
    "Vegetarians Taste Better" and it gives the restaurant name and
    address.  
    
    M
    
546.5ULTRA::ZURKOmud-luscious and puddle-wonderfulFri Apr 14 1989 18:193
re: .2
Sure that's sexist. It assume police are men. :-)
	Mez
546.6HANDY::MALLETTBarking Spider IndustriesFri Apr 14 1989 18:294
    "Happiness is an inside job"
    
    Steve
    
546.7HBO::BACHELDERybnormalFri Apr 14 1989 18:574
    "If you don't like my driving - Stay off the sidewalk!"
    
    - L
    
546.8DPDMAI::MATTSONFri Apr 14 1989 21:054
    I'm sure everyone is familair with the one  "Sh*t Happens"
    Well, I saw one the other day that said "Nice Things Happen".
    
    I like it much better.
546.9MORO::NEWELL_JOReplies, they don't come easyFri Apr 14 1989 22:127
    RE: .8
    
    And another variation, seen on a line of newborn/infant t-shirts...
    
    "Do-do Happens"

    Jodi-
546.10;*}NOETIC::KOLBEThe dilettante debutanteFri Apr 14 1989 23:016
      Sit on a happy face

	and my all time favorite

      SEX HAPPENS
546.11ELMST::MACKINQuestion RealitySat Apr 15 1989 00:284
    ... and tell me that you love me.  ;^)
    
    (sorry, that used to be the morning wakeup song on a radio station I
    listened to some years ago.  I still get a chuckle out of it)
546.12Nine-One-One........AhhhhhhhhFDCV10::ROSSSat Apr 15 1989 04:367
    Re: .5
    
    Mez, haven't you ever heard of women cops coming?
    
    Even If you don't dial 911? :-)
    
      Alan
546.13SUPER::HENDRICKSThe only way out is throughSat Apr 15 1989 15:4314
    My favorite:
    
    Born again...and again...and again
    
    When I had this on my car, twice when I had a flat tire I had
    evangelical-type men stop and change it for me.  I grinned to myself
    and let them! 
    
    Holly
    
    Standard disclaimer:  no offense intended to anyone's personal beliefs.
    
    I'm a 'recovering fundamentalist' who thinks that reincarnation is
    entirely possible, so this struck me as funny. 
546.14moreLEZAH::BOBBITTinvictus maneoSat Apr 15 1989 16:1617
    I'm getting a T-shirt soon that says, 
    
    "There is no personal problem so big that it cannot be solved by
    a suitable application of high explosives"
    
    and I have buttons that say
    
    "This universe is sold by weight, not volume, some settling may
    have occurred during shipment...."
    
    "High strung, but fine tuned"
    
    "Writing is easy, all you do is stare at a blank piece of paper
     until drops of blood appear on your forehead..."
    
    -Jody
    
546.15There they go stealin' my personal name again!WHYVAX::DELBALSOI (spade) my (dog face)Sat Apr 15 1989 16:236
re: < Note 546.3 by ACESMK::CHELSEA "Mostly harmless." >

>    Second favorite (spotted myself):
>    
>         I (spade) my (dog face)

546.16Only funny because I have *no* idea what it means!LOWLIF::HUXTABLEWho enters the dance must dance.Sat Apr 15 1989 21:0715
In brilliant orange lettering on the side of a white semi-trailer yestereve:



                        Z I N K


              S A F E T Y     S H O E M O B I L E




Eh?  Huh?  What?  Seriously altering my view of reality...

-- Linda
546.17SSDEVO::GALLUPHey Kids, rock and roll, rock on....Sun Apr 16 1989 16:4711

	 One that I remember every time I read a note in a conference
	 where people bash someone for their views without even really
	 understanding them....

		Minds are like parachutes, they only work
		when they're open.


	 kath
546.18Zoo's,Books,Blood and...RICKS::BUTLERThere's more to it than fateSun Apr 16 1989 23:557
    	re.16
    	A 'Safety Shoe Mobile' comes to various businesses (like DEC)
    	and sells safety shoes directly to the employee at the plant.  
    	Odd concept, but I imagine it's convienent.
    
    Mary Jo_who_doubts_they_sell_her_style_of_Nike_Cross_Trainers :-)
                           
546.19ULTRA::ZURKOmud-luscious and puddle-wonderfulMon Apr 17 1989 13:111
CAUTION: I drive the way you do.
546.20Some more...ACESMK::POIRIERBe a Voice for Choice!Mon Apr 17 1989 13:167
    "If you get any closer please introduce yourself!"
    
    
    or
    
    
    "If you get any closer, I'll fart!"
546.21So many bumper stickers, so little time. :)NEXUS::CONLONMon Apr 17 1989 13:206
    
    	Seen in California...
    
    		"I need somebody bad.
    		 Are you somebody bad?"
    
546.22and a few moreLAIDBK::RESKELife's a mystery &amp; I haven't a clueMon Apr 17 1989 15:2119
    
    Reading bumper stickers and vanity plates in California passes
    the time as you sit in traffic.  A few of my favorites:
    
    'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite
      me!'
    
    'You're not my wife so stay off my ass'
    
    'How am I driving?  Call 1-800-EAT-SH*T'
    
    'The better I know men, the more I love my cat'
    
    
    ... and many many more.
    
    
    Donna
    
546.23Don't be a Jane?WEA::PURMALwrestling = choregraphed slam dancing?Mon Apr 17 1989 15:3210
    My favorite:

    +-----------------+    
    | See Dick drink. |
    | See Dick drive. |
    | See Dick die.   |
    | Don't be a Dick.|
    +-----------------+    
    
    ASP
546.24Sticker with a StoryGAMETE::HAIGHTMon Apr 17 1989 16:0012
    Since discountinued in Pittsburgh:
    
    "RUGBY PLAYERS EAT THEIR DEAD".
    
    The 197? Univ. of Pittsburgh (Pitt) Rugby Team took this too seriously
    and swiped some lobotomy victims from the Cadaver Lab and brought
    them onto the field during Pre-Game for ball practice.
    
    Hence, no more RUGBY stickers and the team was suspended and also
    discontinued for some years.  I think they have since reinstated
    the sport.
                          
546.25Follow-Up RemarkGAMETE::HAIGHTMon Apr 17 1989 16:023
    Irresistable comment from my peer about .24 Note:
    
    "And I thought 'Dead Heads' were going to hear a Rock Concert!!"
546.26Seen near SeattleDECWET::BURFENINGMon Apr 17 1989 16:0611
    My favorite was a compound bumper sticker, made from two popular ones
    in this area (Pacific Northwest):
    
    	Cowboys make better lovers.....
    
    
    
    
    	50,000 coyotes can't be wrong.
    
    
546.27CLOVE::VEILLEUXlight in the darkness of insanityMon Apr 17 1989 16:2212
    Some of my faves:
    
    "I HATE I (heart) BUMPER STICKERS"
    
    One of those yellow "(whoever) On Board" signs that read:
    "Who Cares Who's On Board?"
    
    And my all-time best (no-offense disclaimer here):
    "If the Rapture's today, somebody grab my wheel"
    
    
                             ...Lisa V...
546.28Mine favorite...FTMUDG::GRANDEMon Apr 17 1989 16:421
   " My husband is a perfect example that women can take jokes."
546.29ACESMK::CHELSEAMostly harmless.Mon Apr 17 1989 16:467
    Re: .27
    
    >One of those yellow "(whoever) On Board" signs that read:
    >"Who Cares Who's On Board?"
    
    The best one I ever saw had "Mom's Taxi."  Talk about truth in
    advertising.
546.30RAVEN1::AAGESENintrospection unlimitedMon Apr 17 1989 17:023
    
    
    "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person"
546.31"Tight butts, drive me nuts"MORO::NEWELL_JOReplies, they don't come easyMon Apr 17 1989 18:483
    
   
    
546.32Oldie but goodieCLOVE::MACDONALD_KMon Apr 17 1989 19:348
    Back in the early seventies I saw an old, beat-up van with peace
    signs, big flowers, and other assorted symbols painted all over
    it with a bumper-sticker that read: "Don't laugh, your daughter
    might be in here".  My mother laughed even though she had no
    idea where my sisters were.
    
    - KM
    
546.33You mean you *buy* shoes? :-)CVG::THOMPSONProtect the guilty, punish the innocentMon Apr 17 1989 20:2214
	RE: .16,.18 The Shoemobiles sell the shoes to DEC who buys them
	for employees that have to work in areas that require safety or
	ESD shoes. The employee gets a vaucher brings it to the truck,
	picks out and trys on the shoes. The shoe company sends DEC the
	bill. It isn't an odd concept at all. Many manufacturing facilities
	that require safety shoes do it. The shoes are for the companies
	well being , especially in the case of ESD, so it makes sense for
	the company to pick up the tab and make things as easy as possible
	for the employee.

	BTW, they do make steel toe 'sneakers'. I wouldn't play basketball
	in them but they look ok.

				Alfred
546.34Another mystery explained (rats!)LOWLIF::HUXTABLEWho enters the dance must dance.Mon Apr 17 1989 21:0512
re .16, .18, .33

    Since I posted that I decided to look up "ZINK" in the white
    pages...sho 'nuf, they're a safety equipemnt company, and
    their ad in the yellow pages mentions this, that, and the
    other, and safety shoes.  No doubt that's what was in the
    "Safety Shoemobile."

    Actually, I think I was having more fun being completely
    weirded out.  ;)

    -- Linda
546.35CXCAD::LONGNAKERFayeMon Apr 17 1989 21:074
    Seen in Colorado Springs:
    
    It's been so long since I've had sex
    I forget who gets tied up.
546.36Yes officer!MPGS::DRURYTue Apr 18 1989 06:047
    
    RE:.5
    I love a woman in uniform. When I first read .2 I immediately thought
    of a female police officer. I don't know if that's sexist or not. It's
    certainly sensual to me.
    J.D.
    
546.37ACESMK::POIRIERBe a Voice for Choice!Tue Apr 18 1989 12:176
    Usually you see "This car climbed MT Washington" but cut it up and
    rearrange it to
    
    "MT Washington climbed this car"                     
    
    Spotted at UNH on a beat up car.
546.38SUPER::HENDRICKSThe only way out is throughTue Apr 18 1989 12:206
    Graphic:  a peace symbol, ca. 1970
                 
    Caption:  back by popular demand
    
    
    
546.39WEEBLE::CRITZNot overweight, just undertall!Tue Apr 18 1989 14:113
    
    
    	"This car fell off Mt. Washington"
546.40Sensitivity alert!AQUA::WAGMANQQSVTue Apr 18 1989 14:1721
Re: .23

>    +-----------------+    
>    | See Dick drink. |
>    | See Dick drive. |
>    | See Dick die.   |
>    | Don't be a Dick.|
>    +-----------------+    

I've seen this one (and ones like it) on bumper stickers and tee shirts.
Frankly, I find it offensive.  I guess I dislike drinking and driving as
much as the next person, but there's no excuse for sliming a perfectly
decent name along the way.

Had they said "Don't be like Dick." instead of the last line, I wouldn't
have a problem with it.  Meanwhile, I'm still

					--Q (Dick Wagman),

and I plan on remaining a Dick for the rest of my life, whether these
bastards like it or not!
546.41WMOIS::S_LECLAIRTue Apr 18 1989 14:475
    
    Seen on a pickup truck:
    
    "You toucha my truck, I breaka your face!"
    
546.42My all time least favorite auto decorationWEA::PURMALwrestling, choreographed slam dancing?Tue Apr 18 1989 15:159
        I hate this bumpersticker with a passion and I always wonder
    if the guy who shot up ESL in Sunnyvale, CA after harassing the
    woman he loved was inspired by it.
    
    If you love something, let it go
    If it comes back, it was always yours
    If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it!
    
    ASP
546.43SA1794::CHARBONNDI'm the NRATue Apr 18 1989 16:141
    re .40 - Q, I bet a lot of detectives feel the same way ;-)
546.44more of the sameWILLEE::HAMMONDTue Apr 18 1989 16:2020
    How I feel today:
    
    SSDD: same shit, different day
    
    My very favorite:
    
    Love your mother (picture of the earth)
    
    A close 2nd (mentioned in this note earlier [-5?]):
    back by popular demand
    
           O  O O O
         O  Y    Y  O
        O    Y  Y    O
        O     YY     O
         O    YY     O 
          O   YY    O
            O O O O
                   
    -Kim_who_is_obviously_not_a_graphics_artist
546.45MORO::NEWELL_JOReplies, they don't come easyTue Apr 18 1989 17:0813
    Peace symbol...
    
         .-``!``-.
        /    !    \ 
       !     !     !
       !    /!\    !
        \  / ! \  /
         `/..!..\`    
    
    Jodi-who_IS_a_graphic_artist_and_still_has_trouble_with_computer_art
    
    
    
546.46RUTLND::SAISITue Apr 18 1989 17:394
    I have never been able to get this one out of my mind, I guess because
    of the catchy rhyme scheme:
    	Ass, gas, or grass,
    	Nobody rides for free.
546.47A clarificationAQUA::WAGMANQQSVTue Apr 18 1989 18:159
Re:  my .40, on "Don't be a Dick."

A clarification:  I find the slogan offensive, but I'm not offended that it
was posted here.  I posted my reply with the hope that those who invent snappy
slogans will think about them a bit more carefully in the future.

I was definitely not suggesting that .23 be deleted.

						--Q
546.48WAHOO::LEVESQUETorpedo the dam, full speed asternTue Apr 18 1989 19:5610
 "My wife said it was fishing or her...
     I sure am going to miss that girl"

 Since this is tantamount to a =wn= lite, can we forgo the "woman" vs. "girl"
arguments? I didn't write the bumper sticker.

 The Doctah

ps- anyone else ever notice that the abbreviation for bumper sticker is bs? :-)
546.49more fun with dick sans janeLEZAH::QUIRIYWouldYouBuyAUsedCarFromRandallTerry?Tue Apr 18 1989 21:1211
    
    re: .23, .40, and .47
    
    There's also:
    
    See Dick Smoke
    See Dick Choke
    See Dick Croak
    Don't be a Dick
        
    As a smoker, I can relate.
546.50TLE::DANIELSBrad Daniels, VAX C RTL whipping boyTue Apr 18 1989 21:3614
Re .27, .29:

I used to have a stupid yellow sign that said "stupid yellow sign on board."
It  was particularly fun because I parked my car next to an obnoxious yuppie
couple's  car  (not  to  imply  that all yuppies are de facto obnoxious, but
these  ones  were)  with  a  "baby  on  board"  sign...  That was rare luck,
considering  the  complex  we  lived  in. I guess it was because the man was
doing his internship...  But enough digression.

One I would like to see, preferably on a Rolls:

	"My other car is a VW"

- Brad
546.51I love bumper stickersFDCV06::THOMPSONAlways DreamingWed Apr 19 1989 09:579
    A few more
    
    o "I may grow older but I'll never grow up"
    o "I own a HARLEY DAVIDSON not just a bumper sticker"
    o "If your rich I'm single"
    o "This is my other car"
    
    
    Steve
546.52We do our partBOLT::MINOWWho will can the anchovies?Wed Apr 19 1989 15:206
In the mid-1970's, Dec Reading (England) issued back-windshield stickers
(long and skinny) that said "Isn't every computer a Digital Computer?"
Several friends used a couple and a scissors to create "Isn't every
commuter a Digital commuter?"

M.
546.53bathroom graffitiSPGOGO::HSCOTTLynnWed Apr 19 1989 15:388
    Seen years ago on a Woman's Room wall:
    
    	My mother made me a lesbian
    
    And someone else had written:
    
    	If I giver her the wool, will she make me one too?
    
546.54only in Colo. SpringsCLOSUS::WOODWARDIn your eyes, the light, the heatWed Apr 19 1989 19:312
    I'm up to my *ss in class
    
546.55RAINBO::TARBETI'm the ERAWed Apr 19 1989 20:4519
546.56More on fishingSSDEVO::YOUNGERLove is Love no matter...Wed Apr 19 1989 23:267
    I've seen it without the "girl".
    
    My wife said that if I take one more fishing trip she'd leave me.
    ...I'm sure going to miss her.
    
    Elizabeth
    (who also goes fishing and knows other women who do too...)
546.57Another cut & paste stickerSTAR::DESTEFANOThis note,... this note's for you.Thu Apr 20 1989 03:507
Seen recently on the way into work:

		   "I (heart) Digital"

Modified to be:

		   "I (heart) it"
546.58One word only...ELESYS::JASNIEWSKIWe're part of the fire that is burning!Thu Apr 20 1989 11:375
    
    	Completely symbolic: "I (heart) (clover) (note)"
    
    	JJ
                                                        
546.59That's (shamrock), not (clover)REGENT::BROOMHEADI'll pick a white rose with Plantagenet.Thu Apr 20 1989 13:320
546.60cut and paste and pasteLEZAH::BOBBITTinvictus maneoThu Apr 20 1989 13:346
    a hack job on a classmate's car at WPI
    
    Worcester InstiPolytechnitute
    
    -Jody
    
546.61emphasis on the "tute"DELNI::S_JONESClip and saveThu Apr 20 1989 13:426
    
    And at RPI, "Renssa-poly-insta-techna-tute"  God, I loved that...
    
    (a readonly emerges from the shadows...)
    
    Scott
546.62A chilling thoughtWEA::PURMALwrestling, choreographed slam dancing?Thu Apr 20 1989 14:295
        There's a ski location out here called Bear Valley that puts
    out a bumper sticker that says "Ski Bear".  Of course many of the
    folks who get it cut and rearange it to say "Ski Bare".
    
    ASP
546.63UNHACESMK::POIRIERBe a Voice for Choice!Thu Apr 20 1989 14:548
    I forgot about how we use to change around our college stickers::
    
    "UVINERSITY OF HAM NEWSHIRE"
    
    A bunch of use actually had t-shirts made with this and the funny
    thing is most people didn't notice the change unless you pointed
    it out to them.
    
546.64 Huh? TSG::LEEMy brain is like a sieve...Thu Apr 20 1989 16:233
		Change?.......what change?!  ( :*] )

546.65VIA::BAZEMOREBarbara b.Thu Apr 20 1989 16:532
    Aged for smoothness
    and good taste
546.66nice thoughtLEZAH::BOBBITTinvictus maneoThu Apr 20 1989 17:306
    A friend of mine had this on her desk....
    
    "Things of Quality Have no Fear of Time"
    
    -Jody
    
546.67MORO::NEWELL_JOReplies, they don't come easyThu Apr 20 1989 18:5713
    I can't believe with all this talk of 'cut 'n paste'
    bumper stickers, that no one has mentioned...    

                    "GITLAID"
    
    Taken from a bumper sticker that had the DIGITAL logo on it.
    
    I had one in my office many years ago and very few people
    even noticed the change.
    
    Jodi-
    
    
546.68another "only in Colorado"CXCAD::SCHUBERTPutting out fires... With gasoline!Thu Apr 20 1989 18:595
    
    Welcome to Colorado...
    
    Now go home!
    
546.69If I had more guts I'd move there...PH4VAX::MCBRIDEshy Bob...Thu Apr 20 1989 19:354
	I live a few miles from Intercourse, Pa.  They sell a lot of
    bumper stickers.  Besides the obvious one there is also,
    'BMW? I can't even afford this!'
    
546.70RAVEN1::AAGESENintrospection unlimitedThu Apr 20 1989 22:334
    
    
    Of all the things I've lost,
    I miss my mind the most!
546.71RUBY::BOYAJIANStarfleet SecurityFri Apr 21 1989 01:515
    Another cut-and-paste I'd *like* to see is
    
    "Escape to Wisconsin"  -->  "Escape Wisconsin"
    
    --- jerry
546.72TALLIS::JBELLCeci n'est pas une pipe. |Fri Apr 21 1989 14:128

>    Another cut-and-paste I'd *like* to see is
>    "Escape to Wisconsin"  -->  "Escape Wisconsin"   
>    --- jerry

A friend of mine spotted
        "ESCAPE TO WINSCONSIN"  --> "COW TOES IN SPACE".
546.73Sounds good to meWEA::PURMALwrestling, choreographed slam dancing?Fri Apr 21 1989 14:237
    re: Wisconsin
    
    There's my cousin's modification
    
    ESCAPE TO WISCONSIN  -->  ESCAPE TO SIN
    
    ASP
546.74SSDEVO::GALLUPTime to live your dreams...Fri Apr 21 1989 14:3817
	 While we are talking about modifications to bumper
	 snickers...

	 there's a fast food burger chain in southern california
	 called "In and Out Burger" (Very popular, everyone has
	 t-shirts, including me, from there, bs's and such)

	 Anyway...ALL OVER LA I saw the following modification:


		"In and Out Urge"


	 I was roooooooolling the first time I saw it!!! :-)

	 kath
546.75Monry MadnessRUTLND::KUPTONTweeter and the Monkey ManFri Apr 21 1989 15:027
    
    	"Money Talks.........BS Walks"
    
    
    	"Money Talks......, Mine Says GOODBYE!!"
    
    Ken
546.76HPTS::JOVANpa$$ionFri Apr 21 1989 16:367
	My favorite was on a car I just sold - if I only knew how to remove
	it - I would have put it on my new one!

		My only domestic quality is
		I live in a house.

	Angeline
546.77Coupla moreDASXPS::POZNICKWed Apr 26 1989 18:194
    
     * This car is insured by SMITH&WESSON
    
     * Poverty Sucks!
546.78SKYLRK::OLSONDoctor, give us some Tiger Bone.Wed Apr 26 1989 18:297
    On an old junker, driven by an older person, in California-
    
    "I [heart] QUAKES!"
    
    Not exactly to my taste, but I laughed.
    
    DougO
546.79I would'a stollen it if I could'aSUPER::REGNELLSmile!--Payback is a MOTHER!Wed Apr 26 1989 18:407
    
    
    Today at ZK0...
    
    	"Metermaids eat their young"
    
    Melinda
546.80:-) 25532::STANLEYWhat a long, strange trip its beenWed Apr 26 1989 20:593
    Seen recently at a Grateful Dead concert.
    
    	"DIE YUPPIE SCUM"
546.81The "the" was very smallWEA::PURMALThe paper was blue and greenWed Apr 26 1989 23:316
    re: .78
    
    Doug, could that have been I (heart) (small "the") QUAKES?  There
    used to be a soccer team in San Jose called the Quakes.
    
    ASP
546.82RUNTUF::SZKLARZThu Apr 27 1989 02:496
    
    
      Seen recently on (of all places) the women's room wall at a local
      bar:
    
    		War is menstrual envy!
546.83be careful what you put on your car...HYDRA::LARUSurfin' the ZuvuyaThu Apr 27 1989 14:518
    	"Mafia staff caf... keepa you hands off"
    
    i always wanted to see a couple of hoods run out of a bank
    holding uzis and bags full of money, see a car with one
    of those stickers, and jump in, yelling "ok buddy, let's go!"
    
    /bruce
    
546.84LACV01::BOISVERTThu Apr 27 1989 15:406
    I just recently moved from Massachusetts to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and
    I saw quite a few stickers that say...
    
                  "I don't care how it's done up North"
    
    
546.86Describes me to a "T" ;^)SLSTRN::DONAHUEThu Apr 27 1989 16:357
    Seen in the OGO parking lot:
    
    
           51%  Sweetheart
    
           49%  Bitch
    
546.87And then there is MA BELL...DECWET::BURFENINGWhat do you mean steelhead season is closed?!Thu Apr 27 1989 16:506
    On the back of a phone company service vehicle before the break-up of
    the company:
    
                  AT&T:  We don't care, we don't have to.
    
    
546.88 one of my favorites TSG::LEEMy brain is like a sieve...Thu Apr 27 1989 18:2617
Re: .86

    
>           51%  Sweetheart
    
>           49%  Bitch
    

	a slightly different version that I've seen:

           51%  Sweetheart
           49%  Bitch

	   ....don't push it!

	  
546.89NSSG::FEINSMITHI'm the NRAFri Apr 28 1989 11:385
    On a rolling rat-trap:
    
    My other car is a piece of s**t too!
    
    Eric 
546.90NOWIMP::DADDAMIOHopelessly optimisticTue May 02 1989 23:507
Saw this one a few weeks ago (written in old English lettering):

		SCREW GUILT

Which reminds me of another saying, yet to be seen on a bumper sticker:

		GUILT - The gift that keeps on giving!
546.91Some more bsEDUHCI::WARRENWed May 03 1989 18:4430
    1) My all-time favorite:                
                                            
    In large letters:  God is Coming        
                                            
    In small letters:  and is _she_ PISSED!    
                                            
                                            
    2) In Salem, Massachusetts, where I went to college:
                                            
    SALEM STATE...
    
    The best six years of my life
    
    (guess you had to be there)
    
    
    3)  We have a twenty-foot powerboat which we really like, but since
    we use it in Narragansett Bay, we sometimes find ourselves in the Newport
    (RI) area surrounded by large, beautiful boats.  On those days, I   
    wish I had the bumper sticker I've seen on some old, beat-up cars:  
    
    		DON'T LAUGH.  IT'S PAID FOR.        
    
                
    
    -Tracy
     
                 
                 
                 
546.92must be in upstate NY somewhere...SX4GTO::HOLTHi! I'm Don CorleoneWed May 03 1989 20:084
    
    
    This was a college sweatshirt, of the usual US variety with a round
    seal in the center with CATATONIC STATE above in 3" letters.
546.93 ...and it's true, too! TSG::LEEStay out of my psychoses!Wed May 03 1989 20:406
	Another one from Central New York:


	Ithaca, NY: Centrally........Isolated!

546.94My hero WMOIS::M_KOWALEWICZT20, T20, D25 ...otay!Thu May 04 1989 12:386
	One I wish I had.  Picture of Snoopy wearing a tam and carrying a club.

If you think my driving is bad, you should see me putt.

				
546.96true for me, anyway!NAAD::ADAMSFri May 05 1989 00:067
    One I wish there was:
    
    When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.
    
    (tee hee -- as I read and write in =wn=, and DON'T finish my report...)
    
    Peg (the other one)
546.97I kid you not...TLE::FISHERWork that dream and love your life.Thu Jun 08 1989 18:1213
It's nasty, but I love it:

	"So many men...
	 So few with brains."

On the stall door in the restroom, with an arrow pointing to the
opening below the door:

	"Beware of limbo dancers."


						--Ger
546.98LASHAM::PHILPOTT_ICol. Philpott is back in action...Fri Jun 09 1989 08:097
    
    there is a similar saying about patience that goes
    
    "Patience: a virtue seldom found in women...
    				and never in men"
                                                
    /. Ian .\
546.99REFINE::TAYLORYou're worth your weight in m&amp;m'sMon Jun 12 1989 21:078
    Another one I heard (sorry guys!):
    
    "Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition."
    
    I thought it was cute.
    
    Holly
    
546.100Was this out in the Fall?DECWET::DADDAMIOFri Jun 16 1989 20:524
    I didn't see this one out around election time, but did see it this
    spring in Washington state:
    
    	Noriega/Bush '88
546.101ULTRA::GUGELWho needs evidence when one has faith?Wed Jun 21 1989 16:415
    Don't know if this one's been entered yet:
    
    Women belong in the House ...
    and the Senate
    
546.103another oneIAMOK::ALFORDI'd rather be fishingThu Jun 22 1989 13:076
    saw one the other day that was new to me...
    
    "if you can't feed 'em
     don't breed 'em"
    
    
546.104ULTRA::GUGELWho needs evidence when one has faith?Fri Jun 23 1989 14:277
    re .101, .102
    
    I got the bumper sticker slightly wrong.
    It really reads:
    
    A woman's place is in the House...
    and the Senate
546.105HANDY::MALLETTBarking Spider IndustriesFri Jun 23 1989 14:569
    re: "A woman's place. . ."
    
    I suggest that one for 90's might be:
    
    Woman's place is in the House,. . .
    the Senate, and the Oval Office.
    
    Steve
    
546.106I like itEDUHCI::WARRENFri Jun 23 1989 16:257
    Or...
    
    A woman's place in the house...
    The White House, that is.
    
    -Tracy
    
546.107sighSUPER::HENDRICKSThe only way out is throughMon Jun 26 1989 05:272
    Incest isn't taboo
    ...talking about it is
546.108TRUTHHAMER::PIERSALLTHE PHOENIX RISESMon Jun 26 1989 12:189
    
    
    
    Saw this over the weekend
    
    I (HEART)
    
    DADDY'$ MONEY
    
546.109please don't tell anyone....:^)NATASH::MOOREReality is just a collective hunch.Wed Jun 28 1989 13:2915
    As I was saying to a friend last night, I'm embarrassed to admit this,
    but....
    
    Recently I was following a car with several feminist bumper stickers on
    it.  One said:
    
    	KEEP YOUR LAWS
    	 OFF MY BODY
    
    But part of the upper right corner was torn off, with only parts of the
    "S" showing.  I'd hate to tell you how many minutes I was puzzled.  I
    couldn't figure out what that meant - "Keep your lawn off my body."  I
    had a good laugh at myself when I realized what it really said.
    
    Susan
546.110 2 moreILO::SPENKELINKFri Jun 30 1989 14:1526
    
    2 of my favorites (to big for bumpers, nice on T-shirts)
    
    
    	Sure, Women's faults are numerous,
    	Men have only 2 ....
    
    
    
    
    	... the things they say and the things they do !
    
    
    and the other one is:
    
    
    
    	The only person ever,
    
    	Who always had everything
    
    	done by Friday
    
    
    
    	was ... Robinson Crusoe
546.111more food for stickersHANNAH::OSMANsee HANNAH::IGLOO$:[OSMAN]ERIC.VT240Fri Jun 30 1989 18:317
    Reminds me of what Ron Gursky, the dance instructor always likes
    to tell his classes:
    
    	"women make 90% of the errors in ballroom dancing, but men
    	 cause every single one of them."
    
    /Eric
546.112the sequence is importantVAXRT::WILLIAMSFri Sep 08 1989 20:576
    WARNING: I stop for red lights
    
    placed on the replacement car for the one that was rearended when
    my wife stopped for a red light
    
    /s/ Jim Williams
546.113Lower East Side storySTAR::RDAVISAbstract, attentive and unsureTue Jan 09 1990 02:447
    This was on a rusted out orange Rabbit parked on my old block (13th
    St. between 1st and 2nd Ave., Manhattan) and cheered me up every day as
    I walked to work:
    
    "I'd rather be reading Jane Austen"
    
    Ray
546.114Work for peaceACESMK::POIRIERWed Jan 10 1990 13:205
    Don't know if this one is already listed - but my friend has it on her
    car and I think it's just great:
    
    "BE ALL YOU CAN BE - WORK FOR PEACE"
    
546.115It is greenDELNI::P_LEEDBERGMemory is the secondThu Jan 11 1990 15:3611

	Last night I got a bumper sticker from a friend that I will
	put on my car (I have a 5 year old car that has never had a
	bumper sticker on it.)

		the earth is our mother
		treat her with repect

	_peggy

546.116LEZAH::BOBBITTchanges fill my time...Thu Jan 11 1990 16:429
    A man in my group had the mail personal_name 
    
    "Earth - the hostess, not the meal"
    
    Sounds like it would make a great bumper sticker, too (if it isn't
    already).
    
    -Jody
    
546.117NRADM::KINGFUR...the look that KILLS...Fri Jan 12 1990 00:425
    Seen my new personal name on a bumper sticker going thru Acton today...
    
                         REK
    
    No explanation needed....
546.118another bogus oneIAMOK::ALFORDI'd rather be fishingFri Feb 09 1990 12:1312
    
    seen on a 'subie' bumper in PKO1 parking lot:
    
    In Alaska, you don't lose your woman,
    You lose your turn
    
    
    harrruuummmptthhhhh!!!
    (where's an Iditarod sticker when you need one!)
    
    deb
    
546.119SCARY::M_DAVISMarge Davis HallyburtonFri Feb 09 1990 15:423
    could we move that to the sexist note? 
    
    argggghhhhhh!
546.120The humor idiot speaks...TLE::D_CARROLLLooking for a miracle in my lifeFri Feb 09 1990 15:567
>    In Alaska, you don't lose your woman,
>    You lose your turn

Duh.  I don't get it.  Huh?  (Maybe this should go in the True Confessions
note...I didn't get today's Far Side either...am I losing my touch?)

D!
546.121Partial explainationWMOIS::B_REINKEif you are a dreamer, come in..Fri Feb 09 1990 16:0412
    D! Explainations of the joke would best be sent by mail. Explainations
    of the Far Side Cartoon will follow the form feed. If you are squeemish
    don't read this while eating lunch.
    
    
    
    
    The Donner party resorted to eating memebers of their party when
    traped in the mountains on the way to california. So Larsen drew
    a 'Donner party memorial' of a foot sandwich.
    
    
546.122SYSENG::BITTLEnancy b. - hardware engineer; LSEFri Feb 09 1990 16:119
    
    	re: .120 (D!)
    
        I didn't get it either, D!, so clue me in when you find out!
    
    	We must be just so young and naive :-P !!!
    
    							nancy b.
    
546.123someone tell me I'm wrongPERN::SAISIFri Feb 09 1990 18:307
    The way I interpret the Alaska bumper sticker is the second line
    implying that women are a shared commodity (sp?), and the whole
    thing implying that they are passed around.  It could be a reference
    to dating, meaning that a man has to wait until a "taken" woman
    is available again, but the way it is worded it evokes a gang rape
    to me.
    	Linda
546.124BEING::POSTPISCHILAlways mount a scratch monkey.Fri Feb 09 1990 18:319
    Re .120, .122:
    
    This might help to comprehend the bumper sticker:  I think that, at
    least in places, there is a very high male to female ratio in Alaska.
    Also, prostitution might be prevalent.  If you still don't understand
    and you want to, send mail. 
    
    
    				-- edp 
546.125Humor 101 (remedial version)TLE::D_CARROLLLooking for a miracle in my lifeFri Feb 09 1990 18:469
You must have a different Far Side calender than me, Bonnie.  Today's Far
Side show's a big mammoth on its back with a hole in his side, and two
cave men (presumably Thak and Og) with spears in their hands and gunk all
over them, shaking hands.  The caption reads "So!  Let's do this again real
soon."

?????

D!
546.126WMOIS::B_REINKEif you are a dreamer, come in..Fri Feb 09 1990 18:487
    The one I was describing came from the Boston Herald.
    
    :-)
    
    sort of a cave man version of the modern 'power' lunch?
    
    Bonnie
546.127Seen recentlyULTRA::GUGELAdrenaline: my drug of choiceTue Feb 13 1990 17:121
    Be Kind to Animals - Love a Male Chauvinist Pig
546.128car driven by a womanMILKWY::JLUDGATEAnarchist Evening EntertainmentTue Feb 13 1990 20:183
    				Forget Love
    				go for Lust!
    
546.129GENRAL::VAILSE::GALLUPThu Feb 15 1990 15:4620
D!, 9-Feb-90

>Duh.  I don't get it.  Huh?  (Maybe this should go in the True Confessions
>note...I didn't get today's Far Side either...am I losing my touch?)


Took me a minute to.  The elephant is dead and his insides are gone, the two
cavemen are covered with guts.  And the one says to the other "So!...
Let's do it again real soon."

In other words, let's do lunch again sometime.......just a meal, ya know?
;-)


(He explains this one in the Prehistory of the Far Side, I believe.......along
with the eyeball on the couch which he admits makes no sense at all)


kath
546.130ThanksMORO::NEWELL_JOJodi Newell - Irvine, Calif.Thu Feb 15 1990 16:3310
    
    >(He explains this one in the Prehistory of the Far Side, I believe...
    >along with the eyeball on the couch which he admits makes no sense at all)

    Thanks for adding the comment about the 'eyeball on the couch'.  
    I thought I was really losing it.  I couldn't, for the life of
    me, figure that one out. 
    
    Jodi-
    
546.131WAHOO::LEVESQUEBaron SamediThu Feb 15 1990 16:373
 Wait a minute, I understand the eyeball on the couch!!!

 The Doctah
546.132SSDEVO::GALLUPpassion of your aching soulThu Feb 15 1990 18:2620
> Wait a minute, I understand the eyeball on the couch!!!
>
> The Doctah


	 I knew there was something wrong with you....  ;-)


	 Actually, the Mr. Pembrose (the eyeball) on the couch
	 "probably" (as Gary Larson puts it) means that someone who
	 was just an eye would probably have a lot of hatred toward
	 the world......But Gary also puts after that "okay, so it
	 probably doesn't work"

	 ;-)

	 So, Doctah, what is YOU interpretation?

	 kat
546.133Larson fan since DG days...WAHOO::LEVESQUEBaron SamediThu Feb 15 1990 19:1215
 Eyeball interpretation:

 Imagine the feelings a dwarf has with respect to the rest of the world. 
S/he is considered abnormal, small, childlike in stature. Even everyday things
that we take for granted are more difficult. Opening doors, getting onto a 
chair, using a public restroom. EVERYONE looks down at you and upon you.
Now imagine this take to the limit (calculus style), where the person's body
is so small, they appear to be nothing more than an eyeball. Imagine the
resentment such a person would have.

 Well, that's about as well as I can explain it by using language. Remember-
it's a Larson. :-)

 The Doctah

546.134DYO780::AXTELLDragon LadyFri Feb 16 1990 14:1112
    The Doctah and I have something in common?  
    
    Tell me it isn't true! :>)
    
    I, too, understand the eyeball.
    
    Maybe this belongs in true confessions, but I understand (and like)
    Larson.  And Adams. And a couple of other real sickos.
    
    -maureen
    
      
546.135The ThagomizerTLE::D_CARROLLShe's so unusualFri Feb 16 1990 14:2316
>    I, too, understand the eyeball.

Yup so did I.  I even went back and looked at it today, and sure enough, I
*still* got it.  (BTW, it is Jan 29 on the Off-The_Wall calendar for anyone
who doesn't know what we are talking about.)

>    Maybe this belongs in true confessions, but I understand (and like)
>    Larson.  And Adams. And a couple of other real sickos.
 
So do I, most of the time.  The Mammoth one may have had me clueless but
usually I get ones (even if I get them *wrong* they are still funny) that
others don't.

Can you say "Rathole"?  I knew you could.

D! 
546.136SSDEVO::GALLUPGot the universe reclining in her hairFri Feb 16 1990 15:0122
>    I, too, understand the eyeball.



	 Well, then perhaps you all should write a letter to Larson
	 and explain it to him........


	 I guess it's all a matter of perception.....Things mean what
	 we want them to mean.



	 I don't know if I've put this Bumper Sticker in tis
	 conference or not...

		"Minds are like parachutes, they only work when
		they're open."


	 kath
546.137WAHOO::LEVESQUEBaron SamediFri Feb 16 1990 15:329
>    The Doctah and I have something in common?  

 Worse things have happened. :-)

 or

 great minds think alike! :-) (your pick, it's friday)

 The Doctah
546.138Attributed to a friend.LOWLIF::HUXTABLEWho enters the dance must dance.Fri Feb 16 1990 19:047
.137 (The Doctah) >  ...great minds think alike!...

    In my household, that's properly:

	Empty minds think alike!

    -- Linda  :)
546.139MORO::NEWELL_JOJodi Newell - Irvine, Calif.Fri Feb 16 1990 20:5515
    RE: Gary Larson
    
    I absolutely *love* the guy's sense of humor.  I have lots 
    of his work in my office but I too sometimes have trouble 
    understanding his bizzare thoughts.
    
    It's taken me two days to really find any humor in Wednesdays
    cartoon---Three cows in a field, one of them is eating, the
    caption reads: "Hey, wait a minute! This is grass! We've been 
    eating grass!"
    
    Oh well, so I'm a little slow...
    
    Jodi-
    
546.140NRADM::KINGFUR...the look that KILLS...Sat Feb 17 1990 00:417
    Seen a bumper sticker on a car last week.... A woman driving this
    car...
    
    
    "If you can't trust me with CHOICE how can you trust me with a child?"
    
    enuff said