Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    I've got some:
    
    MEN:
    
    Have no compunction about performing obscene acts in public like
    picking their noses (vigorously), (a-hem) breaking wind unabashedly,
    digging at the seat of their pants to adjust their underwear, and
    making *that noise* to dislodge a wad of phlegm from waaaaaaaaaaaay
    back in their throats.
    
    WOMEN:
    
    Would rather die of a plugged nose, trapped gas, a wedgie, and
    continuous nasal drip than do ANY of these things in public.  They
    just go home to do them all.
    
    Jane
    
    

    	Well, at least I know what a wedgie is now. (I'm still
    	cracked up by all this.)
    
    	Scott

    
    	Gee, I put the contents of 459 in HUMANRELATIONS some time ago.
    It was labled as "offensive", removed and sent back to me with a
    "sorry charlie" explanation. I'm curious as to what happens here
    
    	Joe Jas
    

    ..oh probably we'll get in trouble again..but this note is so funny
    and so HUMAN maybe it'll slide by.
    
    :-)
    
    

    
         
    	My SO regularly makes me change out of my work clothes into 
    'something nice', so we can eat dinner;   his only comment during 
    Letterman (to my laughing) is 'why is he wearing tennis shoes with 
    a suit ?';  nags me about not doing my laundry often enough; and once 
    spent,  (I am not exaggerating) 1 hour parking in Boston, to find
    (I am not exaggerating) a spot two blocks closer to the restaurant
    where he had left me before he went hunting.

      So much for generalizations.
    
     :) kasey    

Men runners spit.  Women runners swallow.

Actually, joggers spit, runners aim.

Martin.

    I think men and women can look for positive qualities in one another
    that are similar.
    
    One of my former boyfriends told me the best advice his dad ever
    gave him was, never marry a woman who can't weld.
    
    This may seem like odd advice, but I am capable of both torch and
    arc welding - so at least it gave us something to talk about those
    critical first few weeks...
    
    Also - some women tend to look other women up and down, remarking
    cattily on their dress.  If a man did that to another man he'd either
    get a strange look or a punch in the nose.  Also - some women go to the
    bathroom in herds....and often take forever to go to the bathroom...I
    mean how many undergarments can some of these ladies have???

    -Jody
    

    In the next life, I hope, men will be running around during their
    lunch breaks buying the wrapping paper, finding just the right birthday
    present for one of their in-laws, finding additional items to match
    christening gowns they have never even seen, etc.  Spending their
    saturday mornings making salads, cakes, deviled eggs, cleaning house,
    etc, etc, etc, for get togethers orchestrated by THEIR in-laws and
    themselves for their own family (so they won't feel left out).
    
    .......and the women will sit around and drink beer and talk about
    the men, in low voices (just low enough so they are almost heard)
    and squash develed eggs between their fingers, using the table cloth
    because the napkins are too far to reach from where they are
    standing, and lie about not seeing them there.....
    
    
    I need a vacation....therapist....nervous breakdown....

    When driving, women look in their rear view mirror to check
    if their hair looks O.K.
    
    Men, when driving, look in their rear view mirror to see if
    their hair is still there. (Rhymes, doesn't it? Purely 
    unintentional).                                
    
    Still on the driving theme, a woman giving hand signals, looks
    like she's drying her nails. A man looks like he's giving somebody
    "the finger".
    
      Alan
    

I hope I'm not the only one, but I don't find this topic funny.  Don't know
why; I think I usually have a sense of humor.  I guess I'm just tired of
"stereotype" jokes that everyone knows aren't true.  Maybe it's because
I don't like to learn about stereotypes (most of them I never would have
thought of because most people I know don't fit them).  Maybe there's some
flaw in my character that takes the "women" stereotypes personally (gee,
do people see me like that?).

Anyways, I don't mean to offend anyone.  People have different tastes,
and I'm the odd person out anyways (I can't always be perfect :-) ).

    
    re.11
    
    I don't think it's funny either.  You're not the only one.
    
    alison
    

    some of them seem sort of silly/funny to me, others set my teeth
    on edge.
    
    Time to "value differences", and not get too uptight, I guess
    
    Lee

    
    Agreed, some of the base note was amusing, I haven't enjoyed what
    followed though.

    
    
    	Like I said, I didn't mean to offend anyone.  Purely
    	meant in jest.
    
    		And I apologize to those who it has offended.
    
    				JJ
    

    re -1:
    
    I was just about to write that although I don't really find it funny,
    neither do I find it objectionable.
    
    	-Ellen

There may be some difference in the way men and women report their
car accidents on insurance claims.  Having been in the insurance
business, I think I can tell which is which, but I won't.  As some
of you have suggested, stereotypes are misleading.  Hope you enjoy
the humor in these actual claims summaries.  I apologize, in advance,
to those of you who (1) don't find this funny or (2) have seen these
before.  
 
-  COMING HOME I DROVE INTO THE WRONG HOUSE AND COLLIDED WITH A TREE I 
	DIDN'T HAVE.
 
-  A TRUCK BACKED THROUGH MY WINDSHIELD AND INTO MY WIFES FACE.
 
-  IN AN ATTEMPT TO KILL A FLY, I DROVE INTO A TELEPHONE POLE.
 
-  I HAD BEEN SHOPPING FOR PLANTS ALL DAY AND WAS ON MY WAY HOME.  AS I
	REACHED AN INTERSECTION, A HEDGE SPRANG UP, OBSCURING MY VISION
	AND I DID NOT SEE THE OTHER CAR.
 
-  THE GENTLEMEN BEHIND ME STRUCK ME ON THE BACKSIDE.  HE THEN WENT TO 
	REST IN A BUSH WITH JUST HIS REAR END SHOWING.
 
-  I HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR 40 YEARS WHEN I FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL AND
	HAD AN ACCIDENT.
 
-  AN INVISIBLE CAR CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, STRUCK MY CAR AND VANISHED.
 
-  THE INDIRECT CAUSE OF THE ACCIDENT WAS A LITTLE GUY IN A SMALL CAR
	WITH A BIG MOUTH.
 
-  THE TELEPHONE POLE WAS APPORACHING.  I WAS ATTEMPTING TO SWERVE OUT
	OF ITS WAY WHEN I STRUCK MY FRONT END.
 
-  I COLLIDED WITH A STATIONARY TRUCK COMING THE OTHER WAY.
 
-  I HAD BEEN LEARNING TO DRIVE WITH POWER STEERING.  I TURNED THE WHEEL
	TO WHAT I THOUGHT WAS ENOUGH AND FOUND MYSELF IN A DIFFERENT 
	DIRECTION GOING THE OPPOSITE WAY.
 
- I PULLED AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, GLANCED AT MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
    AND HEADED OVER THE EMBANKMENT.
 
- A PEDESTRIAN HIT ME AND WENT UNDER MY CAR.
 
- THE GUY WAS ALL OVER THE ROAD.  I HAD TO SWERVE A NUMBER OF TIMES 
	BEFORE I HIT HIM.
 
-  I WAS BACKING MY CAR OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY IN THE USUAL MANNER, WHEN IT 
	WAS STRUCK BY THE OTHER CAR IN THE SAME PLACE IT HAD BEEN STRUCK
	SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE.
 
-  TO AVOID HITTING THE BUMPER OF THE CAR IN FRONT, I STRUCK THE PEDESTRIAN.
 
-  I WAS SURE THE OLD FELLOW WOULD NEVER MAKE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE 
	ROAD WHEN I STRUCK HIM.
 
-  THE PEDESTRIAN HAD NO IDEA WHICH WAY TO RUN, SO I RAN OVER HIM.
 
-  I SAW A SLOW MOVING, SAD FACED OLD GENTLEMAN, AS HE BOUNCED OFF THE
	HOOD OF MY CAR.
 
-  WHEN I SAW I COULD NOT AVOID A COLLISION I STEPPED ON THE GAS AND 
	CRASHED INTO THE OTHER CAR.
 
-  THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED WHEN THE RIGHT FRONT DOOR OF A CAR CAME AROUND
	THE CORNER WITHOUT GIVING A SIGNAL.
 
-  I TOLD THE POLICE THAT I WAS NOT INJURED, BUT ON REMOVING MY HAT,
	I FOUND THAT I HAD A FRACTURED SKULL.
 
-  I WAS THROWN FROM MY CAR AS IT LEFT THE ROAD.  I WAS LATER FOUND
	IN A DITCH BY SOME STRAY COW.
 
-  MY CAR WAS LEGALLY PARKED AS IT BACKED INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE.
 
-  THE OTHER CAR COLLIDED WITH MINE WITHOUT GIVING WARNING OF ITS
	INTENTIONS.
 
-  NO ONE WAS TO BLAME FOR THE ACCIDENT BUT IT WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED
	IF THE OTHER DRIVER HAD BEEN ALERT.
 
-  I WAS UNABLE TO STOP IN TIME AND MY CAR CRASHED INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE.
	THE DRIVER AND PASSENGERS THEN LEFT IMMEDIATELY FOR A VACATION
	WITH INJURIES.
 
-  THE PEDESTRIAN RAN FOR THE PAVEMENT, BUT I GOT HIM.
 
-  AS I APPROACHED THE INTERSECTION, A SIGN SUDDENLY APPEARED IN A PLACE
	WHERE NO STOP SIGN HAD EVER APPEARED BEFORE.  I WAS UNABLE TO STOP
	IN TIME TO AVOID THE ACCIDENT.
 
-  I SAW HER LOOK AT ME TWICE.  SHE APPEARED TO BE MAKING SLOW PROGRESS
	WHEN WE MET ON IMPACT.
 
-  THE ACCIDENT OCCURRED WHEN I WAS ATTEMPTING TO BRING MY CAR OUT OF A
	SKID BY STEERING IT INTO THE OTHER VEHICLE.
 
-  I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE DOCTOR WITH READ END TROUBLE WHEN MY UNIVERSAL
	JOINT GAVE WAY CAUSING ME TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT.
 
-  I THOUGHT I COULD SQUEEZE BETWEEN TWO TRUCKS WHEN MY CAR BECAME SMASHED.

-  I BACKED INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S PARKED CAR.  IT WASN'T MY FAULT, HE WAS
	SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK. 


        Expert Opinion = Mostly men's comments, a couple of women

    just thought you'd like some positive feedback on this topic.
    I laughed so hard at my terminal that I had to slap my hand
    over my mouth and practice breathing slow.
    
    I'm sorry this topic offends some people.  But from me
    all you get is chuckles...

    Humor is used in many different ways, most notably perhaps as
    "medicine".  Sometimes people use humor to convey their hostility
    and contempt for another group of people (for example, racist jokes
    are well known for this kind of formula).  When humor is used this
    way, the anger directed at the oppressed group of people is
    rationalized away by the humor.  If someone in the oppressed group
    states their uncomfortableness with a joke remarks may be made about
    their "inability to take a joke".  Women's anger is traditionally
    trivialized ("You're beautiful when you're angry.")  "Women
    are sooo sensitive" someone might say if a woman objected to jokes
    made in this basenote.
    
    If someone who is not a part of the oppressed group objects to a joke
    they are often ridiculed, "Joe, what do you care, anyway?"  or "Gee,
    it's all in fun."
    
    Another way of defusing rightful anger is to appologize -- "Gosh, I
    didn't mean to offend anyone.  I was just making a joke."
    
    Sometimes people in an oppressed group will buy into what their
    oppressors tell them - "I don't really mind the jokes people make
    about me...I have a great sense of humor."  The oppressors generally
    use this confusion and pain to justify further abuses - "Well,
    so-and-so doesn't feel it was racist!  So it can't be!"
    
    Also, Lee made a statement about it being time to value differences,
    meaning that we should value other people's opinions.
    
    Valuing Differences       DOES NOT =        Accepting Stereotypes
    
    Valuing Differences                =        Challenging Stereotypes
    
    *Mel