Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    
    
    
    	Never let any mechanical device know you are in a hurry.
    
    
    					{clb}
    

    My *OLD* car that continually backfired except when at the mechanic's.
    
    Lee

    Pilot lights on gas stoves go out when you are in a hurry and forget
    to check the oven to see if it is heating up.  This only happens
    when the item you are cooking needs to be put in the oven immediately
    after you are finished preparing it.

    La derniere fois que je me suis occupee de mecanique, je me suis
    fait violemment mordre l'index droit par un moteur de 2CV affame.
    
    Mon pauvre ongle est devenu tout noir...
    
    Mais le moteur a fini par se laisser reparer, a force d'insultes
    et de supplications...
    
    Maintenant, chaque fois que je passe devant, la 2CV me regarde du
    coin du phare, et elle rigole...
    
    
    Je me vengerai.
    
    
    Zoziau

    RE: .5
    
    
The last time that I got involved with something mechanical, my right index
finger was violently bitten by a starving 2CV [a certain model of Citroen,
2CV means "two horse power" (I think it's a joke)].

My poor nail turned all black...

But the motor ended up letting itself be fixed, on the strength of insults
and entreaties.

Now, each time I pass in front of it, it looks at me out of the corner of
its headlight, and laughs ...

I shall avenge myself.

    Zoziau

    And what about the keyboard that can't type a simple VMS command
    if someone is watching? liesl

re .7 (leisl)

>    And what about the keyboard that can't type a simple VMS command
>    if someone is watching? liesl

Ain't it the truth?  I'm in the process of defining symbols and logicals for
my most common mistypings...I now have a SYS$MANGER logical :-)

Amaze your friends!  Show them you have a command interface that knows what
you really MEANT to type!! :-)

Jill

    How about systems that crash or exhibit other odd behaviour at 
    5 p.m., particularly on friday, or any other day when you have
    something planned after work.
    
    Elizabeth
    

    Plumbing, cars, appliances, heating systems, .......ARGHHHHHHHHHH

    Tempermental bathtub drain: I never know if the tub will stay
    filled or drain on me right in the middle of a good book, some tea
    and a facial mask.  Geesh: can't even plan for relaxation
    
    Cat

    
    
    ... And why is it dryers only eat one sock ? Couldn't they at least
    finsh their meal ??
    
    Oh yeh ... almost forgot ... felt-tip pens tend commit suicide only
    in washing machines doing whites.
    
    Fritz
    

    We had trouble with our washing machine draining......and guess
    what we found clogging the drain pipe - socks!! and I still remember
    the story (but not the teller) from the womannotes party in Feb
    about the dryer that was nearlly full up around the drum with lint.
    
    and why can you only find things when you aren't looking for them?
    and never when you are......my $$ new glasses, first pair in 10
    years disappeared 3 weeks ago. But the old ones are right here on
    my nose and I never lost any pair when I only had one pair...sigh
    
    does anyone here believe in borrowers?
    
    Bonnie J

    I have two tried and true methods of finding something when it has
    turned up 'lost'.  I use these at work all the time...
    
    1. After you have ripped your office apart from limb to limb and
       then do it again, just for good measure, go get a glass of water.
       Usually that missing item is sitting on you desk, plain as day
       when you return.   But, if that doesn't work, try this...
    
    2. After you have sufficiently searched your office, etc. walk over
       to one or more co-workers and accuse one of them of 'stealing'
       your missing item.  Then walk back to your office, pick up a
       piece of paper (the one you looked under at least a dozen times)
       and I guarantee your mmissing item will be there.  Works great
       for me. Of course I no longer have any friends in the office.
       :^)
    
        

    I have a friend in San Diego who I hadn't seen in over 5 years.
    She called me on a Sunday and said she would be here in about
    6 hours.  While I was waiting for her arrival, I thought of some
    old slides of her/us/friends and dug them out to show her.  One
    of the pictures was projected on the wall at the time that she called
    and said that she was in town.  I shut off the lamp and left the
    fan running while I went to guide her to the house.  We all got
    back to the house about 10 minutes later and when I flipped the
    switch...
    
    
    the lamp burned out and the stores were all closed.
    
    She promised to mail the slides back to me.
    
    Spence

    re.6
    Good luck in your vendetta with the 2cv,the legend is that 
    what was deprived of the 2cv in looks ,was given in magical
    (mean) powers,that means that there are lots of magical powers
    and you will not win.
    Re.13 
    I believe in borrowers, there is a large family of them which 
    has lived in the proximity of my tool box for 18 years .They 
    will return things,when certain prime words are used.
    For a list of the words that work,send a self addressed,stamped
    envelope and $10  (;-).
    
    I have conquered most mechanical things ,through years of steady
    abuse,however computers have my number and drive me crazy.
    
    ...Robin

    When mowing the lawn, the mower always runs out of gas, with only
    a single strip left to mow. Usually, the gas can is also empty at
    that time.
                                                   
                  /
                 (  ___
                  ) ///
                 /
    

When one task requires two tasks:

     To open the drawer, I have to move the phone cord.

     To get the pan, I have to move two other pans.

     To load the drying, I have to empty the dryer.

     
     To read a note file, I have to find where they moved it.

Then of course, you will always lose your cable tv signal anytime
you have your vcr set to tape something good.

Jenna

    and when you are remodeling your house and have to put everything
    in another room while the new kitchen counters are being put in
    
    the one thing you need the most to make dinner with is the one
    thing that is on the bottom of the pile and you can't find it

    H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y  Lee!
    
    Isn't Life Fun?
    
    Cheers, Marty

    Happy birthday also Lee...
    
    and you must have been slightly psychic....I'd been hoping someone
    would start this note up again...
    
    Bonnie

    Oh, Lee...  
    
               Carol

It's for real, Kerry.  Carol's due next month.

Susan

    LATE next month, Kerry.  I feel like you do!  With my luck I'll
    be 3 weeks late like my mother was!
    
    Oh, incidentally Kerry.  You are really not alone.  I have had 3
    people come up to me in the last 2 days and tell me that I look
    like I'm due tomorrow!
    
    I think they're taking bets...
    
                     Carol  :-)

    Thanks all.
    
    Kerry, after THIS quarter century, I certainly HOPE the next is
    better!  
    
    Now to tell Betsey and Joe about the car...
    
    Lee

    Lee,
    
    That is the longest sad series of mishaps I've heard since my
    then-husband's Disasterous Trip to Albuquerque.
    
    							Ann B.

    Lee,
    
    Sounds like we must be related!  
    
                                  - Sue

    	Ann B.
    
    	Too much of a teaser for me to resist. So, what happened
    	on your ex's fateful trip to Albakookoo?
    
    	Scott (I need a good laugh)

    Lee,
    
    Why "don't" you try to get a copyright on your story and submit
    it to William Cosby, Jr (aka Bill) for "A Different World".  I can
    see Denise Huxtabel going through that ordeal for sure.  
    
    Good luck
    
    Cathy

    Okay, Scott, you asked for it.  I dug out my write-up of the trip,
    entered it, and wrote it into NAC::GOLDEN_TURKEY as Note 21.8.
    For those who do not want to add another notefile, there is a copy
    of it in
    	REGENT::USER$E:[BROOMHEAD.SPECIAL]ULT_TRIP.DOC
    Enjoy.
    
    							Ann B.

    	RE: 299.34 RE: 21.8 in GOLDEN_TURKEY)
    
    	Quite a story. Unfortunately, I've had some of the same
    	problems (but nothing like Terry.)
    
    	My wife cringes when I have to go to any airport, because
    	it seems like the gremlins know ol' Scott's coming, and
    	try there hardest to make my life miserable.
    
    	His suitcase probably did reach Hong Kong before he saw it
    	again.
    
    	What a bummer!
    	Scott

    While sorting clothes this afternoon I ran across a phenominon
    that reminded me of this note. For the past five years we
    have only bought navy dress socks for my husband...since we
    had so much trouble keeping matching pairs of socks.
    
    Today I was amazed once again at how *different* navy socks
    can be...we still have trouble finding matching pairs.

    
    Bonnie
    
    and why is it that when ever the combs I wear in my hair fall
    out they seem to be attracted to places like the trash can where
    I just dumped the *sloppy* leftovers from my lunch.
    
    

    The manufacturers of socks got together and paid the manufacturers
    of washing machines to include a clever device which randomly
    selects a sock and CHANGES it so it no longer matches its mate.

    I always suspected that was true! :-)

    Ah!
    
    And occasionally a pair of children's underwear gets in it by accident,
    so you wind up with a pair of underwear of a style and color you
    will swear no one living in the house ever owned!
    
    --bonnie
    

re: .37, etc

You may have confused this with the random black hole generator, which 
swallows socks and other such objects.  This also accounts for the 
random appearance of strange objects, which have probably travelled
around the universe through wormholes in the space/time continuum
before popping out in your dryer or under the sofa.

    I still remember the pair of size extra large ladys undergarments
    that showed up in my drier one day...the space time wormhole was
    the only rational explaination!

    wow, this hypothesis might even account for the random reproduction
    of old toothbrushes and wire garment hangers...

    No, no Holly, wire garment hangers are the adult stage in
    the life cyle of an unique organism, the larval stage being
    the paper clip!

    perhaps my wire garment hangers have been sneaking off in the dark
    to visit holly -- i've been wondering where they've all disappeared
    to...

    No, no, wire hangers aren't the adult stage; when they reach critical
    mass, the hangers turn into old bicycles. And that's why the closets
    are jammed with hangers one minute, but you can't find any when
    you need them.
    
    (Quick, who remembers the science fiction story concerning the life
    cycle of the paper clip???)
    
    -b

    bonnie, if you think a pair of size extra large ladys undergarments
    is amusing, you should have seen me try to explain how a pair of
    men's jockey shorts (about late teen-age size) ended up in my family's
    laundry basket when i was in high school. maybe sears planted them
    there when they built the machine? 
    
    <gulp>
    e

    in re .46 hehehehehehehehehehehehe

    in re .46 --  that happened to me in college, only it wasn't just
    men's shorts, it was a jockstrap, size about large enough to make
    me fantasize daydreams better left unrepeated in public . . .
    
    Boy, did my roommate give me a hard time.  But then neither of us
    had heard of this black hole theory of household transport.  Makes
    sense of the whole business.
    
    --bonnie
    

    What about office chairs, that always move right before you get
    up & trap you in your office as you try to leave?

    Re: .45
    
    The story is by Avram Davidson and is in the collection "Or all
    the seas with oysters". (It may be the title story).
    
    	-- Charles

    How about the screwdriver you were just using and put down right
    beside you one minute ago and isn't there anymore and will never
    be found?
    
    Happened to me on Sunday.
    
    
    Also,
    
    I was installing a closet shelving kit on Sunday. I was following
    all the instructions like: starting at the left of the wall, 81" high,
    drill 6 holes every 13" towards the right. What I want to know is...
    How did that manufacturer, way over in Korea or somewhere, know
    that there would be a plumbing pipe right behind that last hole.
    I think the pipe moved itself over.
    
    There probably is no such thing as an inanimate object. 

    /Les