Conference turris::womannotes-v1

        Well, considering the beer alone, it sounds like a rational
        decision (though I'm a little surprized the other team accepted
        him, if it's as bad as you made it sound).
        
        On the other hand, factoring in "domestic tranquility", it
        sounds like you made a major goof...  :-)
        
        Actually, I'm laughing too hard to write coherantly, so I'll
        see you later...
        
        	/dave
        
        	:-) :-) :-)

    This sounds like one of those jokes which eventually has a life
    of its own.  Speaking from my own experience, when something like
    this happens (similar to making a big dumbo mistake while playing
    Bridge), husband (or even wives) love to tease their spouses about.
    The problem is that it is a geometrical progression:  the first
    time you use it your are a wit, the second time you're a half-wit,
    etc.
    
    It, unfortunately, tends to expose our own feelings of insecurity
    (i.e. if I truly loved him/her, would I have done it?).  While it
    seems a perfectly rational decision at the time, but politically
    it can turn out to be a disaster.  The best way to handle this (as
    explained to me by my long-suffering ex-wife) is to calmly and
    gently give your partner to understand that the very next time they
    even think about bringing up the subject you will massage them brutally
    with a baseball bat.  (Reason works every time!!!!)
    
    Good luck,
    
    Dirk
    

     
     I don't belive this.
     
     You backed a Plymouth into a Porsche????
     
     --Mr Topaz

    Oops! I wondered if mentioning that would be a problem...
    
    Yes, I backed a Plymouth into a Porsche.  I had just gotten my Lerner's
    Permit and Mom was with me, and Jon had parked his 914 in a strange
    way and I went to step on the brake, stepped on the gas instead,
    and WHAM!
    
    So what?
    
    

    Well, speaking as your "best friend" (I'm quite honored, bugsy!),
    I agree with (I believe) .2. Your hubbie is taking advantage of
    the situation and milking it for all it's worth, as my hubbie would
    have also done! Being that the two of them have strong senses of
    humor, I would not say that he is truly hurt or that your domestic
    tranquility is disintegrating - I would just say that you are in
    for one hell of a ribbing for a loooooong time. (I can name numerous
    such events that Harry has been milking for months, years even!)
    That's half the fun of being married. So stick to your guns - at
    least I helped get one out and I hit two base hits - can you say
    the same for "Mr. T"?
    
    /the best friend

    Yeah, but.... That's really not the issue.. I mean, I appreciate
    the support and all, but it doesn't matter to me if I hear about
    it forever and ever... That's life, y'know.... and I understand
    his sense of rage about it.  If he traded me I'd probably feel it
    just as much (and be really confused because I think I do okay playing
    softball!) because I'd feel 'protected' by virtue of our marriage.
     You know?? He HAS to keep me because I'm his wife???
    
    I guess I'm giving second-thoughts to the idea that I traded a husband
    BEFORE I traded a friend (pat, pat on the head to you, best friend!)
    which, as The Best Friend has borne out, was really the best thing
    for the team...
    
    But did Patrick have a right to expect that he wouldn't be traded
    just because he's married to the coach??
    
    Have I gone TOO FAR the other way in changing the rules of my marriage?
    I believe in nepotism and would hire him over anyone else who was
    equally or closely qualified...
    
    Patrick, I believe, has not been deply scarred by this incident...
    I think he finds it as amusing as I do, and certainly I was accused
    of showing too much favor to my husband after I traded him (he popped
    one up into the infield (like 4 feet to the left of the pitcher)
    and I scurried forward to bag it, but it flew embarassingly from
    my glove and despite my bravado at being disappointed at being such
    a klutz, someone wanted to start a rule that said husbands shouldn't
    be allowed to hit to wives)....
    
    And this is not an attempt to look for some earth-shattering, deeper
    psychological meaning in a fun game of Beer Ball....
    
    But what would YOU all have done with a jovial spouse who's trading
    would have helped the softball situation?
    
    I'd be interested to know!!!  And I'd also be interesting in hearing
    about other situations similar to this one....
    
    How have we redefined our roles as husbands and wives to each other
    as well to everyone else, and I think this one covers both!!
    
    Maybe I can get Patrick to read this so he can defend himself!
    
    bugs

You should both try to reach first base without an error; it'll surely 
be a hit!  This will avoid pinch hitting.  Later, if you pitch and he 
catches, he could work on supporting the ERA.  

As coach, you can always trade him for a hubby to be named 
later, but it's usually best to develop a team from the farm system.
Don't let him become a free agent: arbitration judges cost 
too much and fans won't come to the ballpark anymore if they have to 
shell out big bucks to support such a high salary.  

Remember, the marriage isn't over 'til the last man's out.

Well, probably too late now but the political thing to do, after trading him
away for being a stupefied klutz, is to explain, "but Honey, I HAD to trade
you.  It wouldn't have been SPORTING to give them one of the BAD players."

Now the thing to do is explain with the baseball bat how this is no longer
amusing. If he doesn't get the point trade him to the Weehauken Wallflowers
for a future draft pick.

Have fun,
Don.

    Personally, I agree with Don. You have to be political about these
    things. Like, for example, you should have told Patrick that I would
    have felt really hurt if you had traded me because I was insecure
    about playing in the first place, and if my best friend traded me
    I would have felt like a failure and I probably would never play
    again. Explain to Patrick that I would have felt that I failed my
    friend and that I would have thought I was an "undesirable" team
    member had I been traded. (actually I wouldn't have cared either
    way, but you, bugsy, couldn't know that...)
    
    It's worth a try... But anyway, I would probably have done the same
    thing in the situation. So I personally don't think you did anything
    wrong - you were just being the coach and trying to keep the game
    going! I would have traded Harry in your situation - it's not as
    much fun when you're both on the same team!!
    
    /the best friend(???)

	    Is he really angry or is he just teasing?  Sure, if he's
	just teasing, you can play along, say things like "It wouldn't
	have been fair to trade anyone but the best player!" (making
	sure he knows you're being facetious).  When he starts bending
	somebody's ear about it, bring in your side of the story, and
	tease right along.  Teasing's a fun fact of life.  (Cheryl
	still won't let anybody forget about the time I backed our Mer-
	cedes into our Rolls.)
	    If he's angry, I don't think playing games is a good idea.
	It should be talked out.
			<_Jym_>

    He's laughing about it as much as I am right now....
    
    He admitted last night that what made him angry was the fact that
    the other team made him play shortstop (I always let him bask in
    the shade in right field) and I think they made him work....
    
    Not a real killer issue right now.... Just something I thought you
    guys might enjoy and I wondered if it indicated I had bent the rules
    a little too far.
    
    I guess I've answered my question, tho', because I would trade him
    again in a serious game, but maybe not in something as silly as
    a beerball game....
    
    Thanks for the input, people...
    bugs

      MAY BE A LITTLE LATE, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL
     
    PLAY ME COACH, I DO NOT DRINK.
    
    IF YOU ARE COACH THEN YOU SHOULD MAKE THE CHOISE THE PLAYER
    CAN BE DEMOTED TO THE FARM SYSTEM..
    
    YOUR HUSBAND SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THE MACHO GUYS WHO AFTER 6 BEERS
    IN ABOUT 30 MINUTES GETS UP TO DRIVE AND SAYS THAT HIS REFLEXES
    ARE IMPROVED AFTER A FEW BEERS AND THAT HE IS PERFECTLY SAFE,
    AN EVEN BETTER DRIVER THAN WHEN SOBER.
    
    When I was 21-22 and a really Macho guy who could handle the
    beer, I took of in the rain and when a telephone pole tried to
    get in the car with me I sobered up fast and slowly drove off
    and parked the car and hitch-hiked home.  (yes hit and run, and
    through the years my capacity to drink has severly diminished!)
    
    BEING IN FIELD SERVICE I HAVE TO DRIVE TO WORK...HENCE I DO NOT
    DRINK AFTER WORK.  I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT AND DRINKING IS 
    NOT A WAY TO DO THAT.  
    
    MY WIFE AND I PREFER TO PLAY ON OPPOSITE SIDES WHEN INVOLVED
    IN SPORTS.  WE ARE FRIENDS, JUST FIND IT LESS COMPETATIVE
    UNLESS I AM PITCHING.
    
    GOOD CALL BUGSY.
    
    BACK YOUR TRADE ALL THE WAY!
    
    DAVE
    

        RE: 58.12
        
        Excuse me, sir, but I think you know not whereof you speak when
        you judge Bugsy's husband without knowing the man. As it happens
        Pat Taber's office faces mine, and although I do not know him
        that well we talk upon occasion and don't find him to be all
        that much like your categorization of him. I understand that
        having gotten over being a macho irresponsible drinker you might
        have disdain for such people, but I think you are thinking more
        of your old self than of the person you are speaking of. 
        
        JimB. 

    Well, and tactfully, said, Jim. Now THERE's an example of a
    non-flaming, calm, sensible reply that still gets the point across.
    Yup. it CAN be done.