Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    If you think they may discriminate against you because of it, don't
    tell them about it.  
    
    When I was looking for my first job, I was engaged.  On my first
    interview, the interviewer (male) took note of my engagement ring and
    started asking questions that were none of his business (e.g. When are
    you getting married, are you going to have children, what does your
    future husband do etc.).  For future interviews I just did not wear my
    engagement ring and thus did not subject myself to a possible
    chauvinist interviewer. 
    
    If I were in your position, I would just tell them you are looking to
    make a move for personal or professional reasons (no explanations need
    be given).  And then you might add you just can't stand the cold
    anymore and just love California.
    
    Best of luck with your job hunt!
    
    Suzanne
    
    I can imagine that the reverse may be worse when a man is looking
    for a new job because his wife made a career change.  Some interviewers
    would label him a wimp = bad employee.

    By the way:
    
    A friend of mine was looking for a new job in Phoenix and was moving
    from Boston for the same reasons as you are.  Her general answer towards
    this inevitable question was that she made the prospective employer
    think that she was really interested and attracted by the job and the
    career opportunities they were offering and that their location was not
    of her primary interest.  This prevented any possible discrimination
    by the employer for her primary reasons to move. 
    
    
    
    

    I agree with .2, regardless if a person was married or single. 
    Take for instance two people who cannot make use of the 
    "legal by marriage" contracts which some group qualify for.  How
    would those individiuals handle this situation.  They certainly
    can't say, "I'm re-locating because my significant other has been
    offerd a job out here."
    
    Also, check out the acceptable and non-acceptable behaviors of the
    area.  For instance, when I was looking for a non-secretarial job
    back in the early 70's, I wore a wedding ring -- so what if they
    thought I was married, it worked...somehow for this particular
    organization, they felt that a married person represented a stable
    person.  I never wore that ring again...  it was the image they
    bought.  Just stay focused on what you want. 
    
    According to a friend of mine who is a v.p., he always asks himself
    this question "What's in it for me?" This may sound selfish, but
    this provides him with a clear focus...if he doesn't need it then
    he doesn't pursue it..
    
    Good luck - it's easier to throw out the options, but difficult
    to implement the plan..
    

    I once was interviewed by someone who wanted to know what my
    "family plans" were.  After a minute's thought, I replied,
    "I plan for my family to live a long and fulfilling life." :)
    
    (Not recommended if you *really* want the job!)
    

    I remmeber a job interview long ago where I was asked what form
    of birth control I used!!!
    
    Since I had already decided that they were unlikely to offer me
    a job anyhow (I had been out of work for three months, so I would
    have taken it if it had been offered even though I really didn't
    want to work there), I told them to mind their own business.

    These sort of offensive questions aren't entirely limited to female
    job applicants. Several years ago I applied for a job in the [British]
    Civil Service. The position was a junior management grade, and it turned
    out that all the Clerical Officers in this particular office where women.
    
    They cordially interviewed me about qualifications etc and in due course
    I got a second interview. This was entirely different: as a single
    [youngish] male they grilled me (third degree comes to mind) for over
    two hours: almost all the topics were on three issues:
    
    1) If a black woman applied for a job and was the best qualified applicant
    how would I handle the situation if the existing all white staff refused
    to work with her (the situation was escalated to "how would I handle
    a threatened strike?")
    
    2) How would I handle the sexual pressures of working in the predominantly
    female office ("did I have a steady girlfriend" etc - one interviewer
    even asked me if I was having sex regularly, presumably on the assumption
    that if I wasn't I might start an affair with one of my subordinates).
                                                   
    3) If I had a baby (remember I'm male - they meant if I fathered a child)
    how would we manage on my rather low civil service salary...
    
    The irony is that when they finally sent me a letter saying I hadn't
    gotten the job the official reason given was that I was OVERQUALIFIED
    for the job. This left me wondering if they had thought that I was looking
    for a job below my qualifications in order to find partner(s).
    
    /. Ian .\
    

    
    I think it can be worse when you *feel* that you are being looked at 
    differently because of your sex, than when the person interviewing
    you comes out with a real classic like "What birth control method
    do you use". ( I couldn't believe that one !!!) I had a tough interview
    once when they ( I had three interviewers, all male, all puffing
    away on cigarettes - I don't smoke - ugh!!!) put a lot of emphasis
    on where I saw myself in ten years time. I *felt* this was being
    emphasized because the had me down as a having-kids-and-giving-up-work
    -female, I might have been wrong though, if they'd directly asked
    that i would have told them to take a running jump.
    
    Needless to say I left the interview feeling mad and hoping they'd
    offer me the job so I would have the pleasure of turning it down!!!
    (They didn't !)
    
    	Sarah.

    
      Back to the geographical issue ...
    
      When I was interviewing for a job after college, someone in the
    recruiting office gave me good advice.  Assume any questions about
    why you want a job in a particular area are REALLY questions about
    whether you will move there, hate it, and leave before you can
    contribute to the job.  
    
    	This is a valid concern;  at Cornell, in January, any job in 
    California looked mighty nice.  But my family and all my friends live 
    on the east coast, and it was unlikely I would be happy 3000 miles 
    away from everything and everyone I knew.  And it is reasonable
    for an interviewer to want to know that.
    
    	You (.0), don't exactly have this problem.  You are moving for
    a solid reason, and have every belief you will be happy in the new
    area.  If you think mentioning your fiance will hurt your chances
    with a particular interviewer - be vague.  You 'have family' in
    the area;  you've always wanted to live there; etc, etc.  Just 
    answer (what I think) is the REAL question: convince me you are
    a good person to invest trust, and time, and training in.
    
    
    kasey
    
    
    

    re: .7
    
    My husband was asked the same questions about where he saw himself
    in ten years when he was interviewing several years ago.  
    
    When a company hires a professional to fill a professional
    opening, they aren't just hiring a body to fill a box.  They
    are hiring a person they think will be a part of the company
    for a good long time, and they have to view it as an investment
    in their future -- depending on the company, they may also
    view it as an investment in yours.  
    
    If your ultimate goals don't match theirs -- if, for example,
    technical people at the company are never promoted to management
    but your long-range goal is to be a manager -- it doesn't matter
    how perfectly qualified you are for the present job, they're going
    to assume that you will grow unhappy as your goals remain
    unfulfilled and you will eventually leave them for more challenge.
    If you do that, they've lost their investment in you.
    
    That's why it's so important that you interview the company to
    find out if it's a place *you would like to work*.  If you get the
    feeling that they expect you to put your career ahead of your
    family, and you aren't willing to make that sacrifice, you won't
    be happy there.  
    
    --bonnie    

    
    re .9
    
    I take your point Bonnie, but I'm not sure the 10 year question
    applies to every job interview. In this case I had just graduated,
    and was applying for a retail management job in a largish chain
    store group in the UK. I think there are very few new graduates
    that have a good idea where they want to be in the next few years,
    let alone 10 ! (It was a graduate training scheme I was applying
    for, so its not as if there were comparing me to someone who had
    been working a few years.) And it wasn't one of the `top' retailers
    in the UK - well Ok so its a big company, but there are other retail
    companies who are better known for providing good training, prospects
    etc. So I would have thought it highly unlikely that anyone who
    was any good would have been with them in 10 years time. ( In fact
    I know that 1/2 of their graduates on this 1 year scheme drop out
    before the end of the year - so it seems to me obviuos that they're
    not doing something right!!) 
    
    If I had been asked that question in different circumstances, such
    as when I was interviewed for DEC, I would have felt happier answering
    it. I have had plenty of interviews when it was a two way process,
    but this was very definitely me being interrogated !!!
    
    But the fact I was a woman may have made no difference, perhaps
    they were as aggressive with everyone. If they have then they probably
    haven't done themselves any good 'cos I for one won't buy anything
    from their store any more !!!!
    
    	Sarah.

    When asked the same question, I puzzled the answer over and 
    replied something like this.
    
    What a strange question, I really have not Looked forward to 
    such a long time in the future.  I could perhaps give you an
    Idea as to where I will be in my job career in 5 years, however
    If you want pure speculation, I would like to be the President
    of this Company in 10 years!  Then I asked the Interviewer where
    he Planned to Be in 10 years, I got some kind of an answer,
    but I thought that Minas better.
    
    If they ask questions that have no possible bearing on the
    job I am seeking I have no qualms about asking just what 
    relevance that has to the position I am seeking.  
    
    Those questions that have no real answer except to feel out your
    plans have no real answer, and if you show that you are planning
    your career path then they usually accept that.
    
    more that $.02 worth I guess.
    
    Dave
    

    Re: .11
    
    >Those questions that have no real answer except to feel out your
    >plans have no real answer, and if you show that you are planning
    >your career path then they usually accept that.
    
    I've heard it said that women are less likely to develop a long-term
    career path than men.  The "where do you see yourself in 5/10 years"
    was a standard (and dreaded) question in my campus recruiting
    interviews.  I suspect it's a way of evaluating your personality,
    as well as your goals, to see if you would fit in with the group/company.