Conference turris::womannotes-v1

    For most people an engagement ring alone on the left hand means
    that the woman is engaged but not married. After the wedding
    she will wear a wedding band and then the engagement band on
    the same finger of the left hand traditionally. In many European
    countries the engagement ring is a wedding ring worn on the right
    hand which is shifted to the left during the wedding. And the third
    finger of the left hand is chosen because of the way our circulatory
    system is set up. The ancients thought that the blood vessel leaving
    that finger connected it most directly to the heart - the "organ
    of love".
    
    Bonnie J

        In still other European countries, the engagement ring is worn
        alone on the left hand while the woman is engaged and not
        married and then moved to the right hand, being replaced on the
        left with a wedding ring. 
        
        JimB.

    Yet another question, (or comment ;-)...)...
    
    I was married for 13 years... for 13 years I wore a ring on my
    "ring" finger on my left hand.  I just bought a mothers ring,
    and put it on my ring finger of my right hand.  After a week, I
    was going crazy!!!!  My hand felt soooooo weird, and my left habd
    felt so naked, that I went and got it (down)sized to fit my left
    hand...
    
    Other have said, how can you wear a ring on that finger... its supposed
    to tell others whether you're married or not.... I figure, if someone
    wants to date me, they will "bother" themselves to find out IF I'm
    married or not...
    
    Do you see this as a taboo?.... are you truly supposed to wear only
    your wedding ring there?....  So you know of others who don't?...
    
    Just curious...
    
    GLK

    When i see a ring on the left 'ring' finger of a woman, I assume
    the woman is 'involved' with someone, degree determined by ring
    style. And if it doesn't mean anything, the woman is sending
    the wrong signals. To *me*. 

    
    Hmm.  I wear many different rings in any combination on whatever
    fingers suit them.  I wear my plain silver band on my right hand,
    though, and wouldn't want to wear it on my left hand "ring finger"
    because it looks too much like a wedding band.  But any other type
    of ring is OK.
    
    CQ

    re .4 (I think)
    
    Please don't judge the degree of commitment by what ring a woman who
    seems committed has there.  I mean, I never wore a ring on that finger
    until I got "serious" with someone (although this is not the way of all
    women). My engagement ring is a simple amethyst in a 10K
    band...$ometime$ they've got it, $ometime$ they don't :-)... but I
    wouldn't consider myself any more in love were it a 2 Karat diamond in
    a platinum setting.
    
    -Jody
     

    In "my country" :-) a divorced woman wears 8 antique rings at all
    times.  All this means is that she considers Victorian style rings
    to be among the most beautiful creations of humankind.
    
    Lorna
    

    My grandmother gave me a diamond/platinum/pearl ring on my 16th
    birthday.  Sort of one of the last heirlooms from way back in Russia.
    At first I wore it all the time (on my middle finger) so I wouldn't
    lose it.  When I got to college (high male population), it went
    onto my "engagement" finger to scare off men, to discourage them
    from hitting on me.  It worked.  When I didn't want them to leave
    me be, I simply removed the ring.
    
    Lee

    Before I was with my SO I used to alway look at a man's ring finger
    if I was interested in him.  If he had a plain band I assumed he
    was married, if he had another ring there I would check into the
    situation to find out if he was married or engaged, same with no
    ring at all.

    I wear rings on both hands and always have.  I also avoid a plain
    band on my wedding finger except if I want someone to think that
    I'm married, like when going to a club.  If someone is really
    interested they'll check into it.
    
    Debbi

    If I saw what looked like a wedding ring on a woman's finger,
    I would not "check into it" no matter how interested I was.
    Instead I'd look elsewhere for a woman who wasn't sending "stay
    away from me" signals.   Clearly the risk of rejection is much
    higher in such cases.  I don't care for head games like that.
    
    					Steve

    I sometimes wearr rings on both hands. However, I have my
    Grandmother's engagement ring which is a cluster of diamonds
    in platium and 18K gold. I never wear this ring on my left
    finger. Usually I wear my college class ring on my left finger.
    A male friend of mine a long time ago said that if anything
    resembling an engagement or wedding ring was on the left hand
    that woman was off limits. I also found wearing my college
    ring seem to make some men think I was more "serious" about
    business. So at work it is usually my college ring
    on th left and my Grandmother's ring on the right.Out of
    work it is liable to be anything but never anything on the
    left that look's married (or about to be).
                      

    Certainly in England, anything that looks like a wedding or engagement
    ring will prevent approaches from most men - we wouldn't usually
    bother to 'check it out'.
    
    Dave K

    I almost never wear rings anymore, even my wedding ring, because
    I have terrible allergies, and dirt, soap, pollen, etc., getting
    caught under the rings cause my skin to break out very badly --
    seems to especially be a problem with dishwashing detergent.  The
    only time this was a problem was when we tried to book into one
    hotel in Israel which had managed to reserve us TWO rooms since
    we had TWO names.  I don't speak a lot of Hebrew, and Paul doesn't
    speak much more than I do, but we finally figured out that they
    wanted to see my wedding ring before they would fix the rooms! 
    The wedding ring, and Paul's also, was at home in the safe deposit
    box (not that they are especially expensive rings, but it was a
    good place to leave them since I had to fetch the passports from
    it anyhow) at the bank.  Luckily, we had a companion who spoke good
    Hebrew.  I don't know what she told them, but they fixed things
    -- she also is a married lady who uses her birth name.
    
    I LIKE to wear rings, actually, but I don't dare wear one for more
    than a few hours, and it had better be real gold or silver even
    then - alloys with copper in them cause a real bad problem.
    
    /Charlotte

    I don't think I have ever noticed what hands people wore rings on!

	In crossreference to Note 446 on advertising - ever notice how
in many ads both TV and printed, they are always careful to show the
wedding ring on the woman's hand if she's doing/advertising certain
things - for example, if she's shown with children, or in an obvious
co-habitation scene, or advertising birth control products...of course
single women don't do/need any of these things...

    Re: .15
    
    There was once a furor over a mattress ad that showed a man and
    a woman together on the mattress.  The fuss?  She wasn't wearing
    a wedding ring.  The ad was quickly replaced with a variant that
    had her wearing a ring.  This was some 5-10 years ago.
    
    				Steve

I wear a silver dragon on my left ring finger -- what does that say 
about my "status"? ;-)  I wear none on my right hand -- a habit from my
years of fencing (keep the weapon hand free).

    Re: .17
    
    If the ring I see on the left ring finger is a plain band or
    has a diamond or other bright gem in it, I assume it means the
    wearer is unavailable.  If she is wearing another sort of ring,
    and if I am very interested, I may try to find out in other ways.
    
    Please understand the fear and risk of rejection is very high
    in such cases.  
    				Steve

        Like Catherine, I wear a silver "dragon" on my left ring finger.
        Mine's a wedding ring. It's also really a serpent, and not a
        classic dragon (no wings or claws).
        
        When we were getting married I spent almost all of my ring
        budget on my wife's wedding ring. The engagement ring I gave her
        was my grandmother's. It is platinum with a moderate-sized
        diamond and some very nice detail work. I couldn't go with
        a standard yellow-gold band. Since I couldn't find platinum
        within my price range (give or take an order of magnitude),
        I settld for antique white gold in a cherry-blossum pattern.
        
        With the remaining $8, I bought a very simple broad sterling
        silver band for me and had it sized down. After a couple of
        years the silver solder gave out and my wedding ring had a gap
        in it. After several years of feeling that a broken wedding ring
        was lousy symbolism, I had a friend (Darlene Coultrain for you
        SF fans) melt it down and recast it into a more interesting
        shape--the classic worm swallowing his own tail, symbol of
        eternity.
        
        Some of my Christian friends blanch at the though of a serpent
        or dragon shaped wedding band, but I refuse to give up a
        perfectly good symbolism just because one religion or another
        has misused it at some time or another. After all Christianity
        isn't the only religion to use the cross, dove or fish.
        
        JimB.

    I've had people ask me about what school I went to when they see
    the ring on my left hand, ring finger.  I tell them it was the 
    school of hard knocks....
    
    
    Its my Army ring.
    
    vivian

    	Before I was married I worked in an electronics research laboratory
    with someone who had worn a wedding ring. It had accidentally touched
    against the terminals of a 5 volt power supply, and welded itself
    there. He got his hand free when the ring melted.
    
    	When I was married, my wife offered me a ring, and I refused.
    If she were working in that sort of environment, I would urge her
    not to wear a ring either.

    I have been married for 7 years (or is it 8 ?) with a man with whom
    I had previously lived for 3 years. Neither of us wears a wedding
    ring, and we never look at the way people wear their rings (right
    and, left hand, any finger) except to comment on the beauty of a
    ring.
    
    I find it fairly astonishing that people will wear pseudo-wedding
    rings to keep people away, or that people will be frightened off
    by a wedding ring. Is the symbolism still that much alive? I rather
    thought this was something of the past, and that most people nowadays
    couldn't be bothered: they wear rings if they like them, and on
    their ring-finger because it's practical.
    
    Mind you, I also find it astonishing that people who never go to
    church should marry in the church, or that the lady should wear
    white, except if she likes the color !
    
    I married on a Wednesday, in a beige maternity dress (6 months gone),
    without rings and without involving the church in something my husband
    and I thought was a completely private matter.
                       
    Seeing what happens around us, I still think we are more married
    than most people carrying wedding bands and having their marriage
    picture in the middle of the living-room table !
    
    Sorry if I'm rambling, but I'm just back from vacation, and this
    felt just like the sort of note you respond to when you don't feel
    like starting work!
    
    Joana 

re:22 - I certainly agree. Neither I nor my husband wear wedding rings and
it never occured to me to look for wedding rings on people's hands (I suppose
that makes you wonder where I do look for them!). liesl

	re: .22, .23

	Um, maybe those of us who check are more interested in "using" the
	result?  If you're already married, it isn't as important whether
	someone you're interested in (presumably of the opposite sex) is
	married or not!  :-)

		Helen