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Conference vmsnet::hunting$note:hunting

Title:	The Hunting Notesfile
Notice:	Registry #7, For Sale #15, Success #270
Moderator:	SALEM::PAPPALARDO

Created:	Wed Sep 02 1987
Last Modified:	Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	1561
Total number of notes:	17784

772.0. **"Complete Hunter ??!!?? 8*)"** by WFOV12::DRUMM () Tue Sep 25 1990 16:49

			The Complete Deer Hunter
				  by
			      Steve Drumm

	I have hunted deer for over twenty years now and all during
that time I have read, studied, and used everything that ever came
out for the proper "method" of deer hunting. With all this knowledge,
and speaking modestly, having taken several nice trophy bucks, the
best one listed in the Pope and Young record book, I have finally
put together the complete list of proper equipment for the deer
hunter. Remember this is a COMPLETE list and nothing need be added
or subtracted. I have listed in the list those items which may be
of optional desire to the hunter, such as type and Cal of gun or bow
and arrow selection. The rest is non negotiable.

	First the hunter must select a place to hunt. It may not be
in the Zoo or barn yard.

	Gun, hunters choice, I don't intend to solve the "best gun
for the job argument", I'll do that at a later time.

	Bow, same as gun above.

	Clothing: When Bow hunting clothes must be Cammo and cost
a minimum of $100 for the pants/shirt combo. During Gun season deer
go color blind so hunter orange is in order, don't worry they can't
see you. The cammo pattern is the choice of the hunter but must be
the hot one of the year for the area. Example;  Mossy Oak was last
years hot item in New England and seems to be leading this year.
Boots, from an article and practical experience it has been found that
rubber boots do not leave a human scent trail but must be at least
knee high,  so green wellies 18 to 24 inches high must be worn at
all times. Gloves, cammo are a must, deer are getting wise to those,
in some cases, white hands flashing around whilst swatting bugs.
Remember you must remain scentless so bug spray is out, WAIT not so
fast I just found the perfect cure, a bug spray that smells just like
fresh earth scent. At last a bug spray we can use. So put a spray
can of this earth scented bug repellent into your possibles pouch. 
Note: the possibles pouch is a small pouch that one carries for those
items they may "possibly" need during a given activity, in this case
deer hunting.

	Now that you have clothes their proper use must be defined.
Clothes may be worn only after being washed in some non-detergent
smelling detergent to keep the detergent smell out. They must be
hung out for no less than three weeks prior to use. After hanging for
three weeks place clothes in a trash bag with some natural scent source.
If you plan on hunting in the pines the scent source should be broken
pine bows from that area, If you plan on hunting the apple orchard
then apples go in the bag, If the hardwoods are chosen then some dirt
from that area. The only problem is you now need at least 3 to 5 
COMPLETE sets of hunting clothes, each one for a particular hunting
area. Wear one set and put alternate changes of clothes in possibles
pouch.

	NEWS FLASH: Just this year deer have gained the ability to see
in the ultraviolet range so ALL clothes must now be treated with
non-scented Ultraviolet screening solution, lest you glow like one
of them bugs.

	Knife of any type but must have a blade not less than two
inches nor longer than twenty. The Wyoming knife should also be
carried along with the rambo survival knife. One goes on you pants
belt the others in your possible pouch.

	Scents are VERY important to a successful hunter. There are
many to chose from and every hunting periodical has stories of types
with success claims to go along. I find you must carry at minimum
the following: Doe-in-heat, Fox urin, skunk, buck musk gland, apple,
peach, and pear. Put one bottle of each into your possibles pouch
with the Musk gland in an old peanut butter jar. It is very important
to use scents particularly if hunting in an area with little or no 
game. All you do is put liberal amounts of the scents all around your
stand and you will by magic create a fruit orchard in the middle of
the woods that has been frequented by all sorts of wild critters. This
is done to attract the deer that comes along looking for just such
a spot.

	It is very important to determine wind direction not just
at ground level but at the height of your stand. To determine all
air currents so you can stay down wind of deer. A tin can with holes
punched in it that can be attached  to a 10' pole is used with one
smoke bomb to determine air currents. Put smoking bomb in can and
hold up in air at height of stand, watch smoke to determine direction
of currents. Place stand in tree down wind of area you are to watch.
Tin can and string to attach to pole go in your possibles pouch.
Carry pole in hand. Box of smoke bombs are placed in your possibles
pouch. 

	Rattling antlers, to call in the BIG one. Place in possibles
pouch.

	Grunt call. To call in the REALLY BIG ones. Place in the
possibles pouch.

	Binoculars 7x50. Carry around neck or place in possibles
pouch for later use while on stand.

	Deer dressing kit. Once you have killed a deer it must be
properly field dressed. There is a kit that has needed items, plastic
gloves, twine and small instruction book. Place kit in possibles pouch.

	Deer drag harness with drag rope. Place in possibles pouch.

	Snake bite kit for obvious reasons. Place in possibles pouch.

	Camouflaged wheelbarrow. Place possibles pouch in wheelbarrow,
damn thing's to heavy to carry.
	
	Hand brush saw. used to clear brush and limbs from around stand.
This can also be attached to 10' pole with string to reach out-of-reach
branches. Place in possibles pouch in wheelbarrow. Not the pole!! Just
the saw. Carry the pole in your hand!!

	Bottle with screw on top to relieve yourself into, for when
you just get into your tree stand 10 feet off the ground and the urge
hits just as you settle down for the wait. Place bottle in, Oh hell
you know where to put it.

	Remove grunt call from pouch and return to store for refund,
no longer needed. When the desired sound is needed just try to pick up
the possibles pouch. This will result in a very loud and natural
sounding GRUNT.

	Compass, so you can have fun walking in circles trying to
find your way out in the dark because you forgot to take a heading
BEFORE you entered the woods. Place, you know where.

	Topo-map of the area you hunted yesterday so you can try to
figure out what went wrong yesterday while you sit in your treestand
today and wonder why you didn't bring the map of the area for today.
Yup, you guessed it,,,,  in the possibles pouch.

	Whistle, to blow when your manhood macho self image gives
into the "damn am I really lost this time" feeling. In the pouch. This
item is not needed for woman hunters, first they don't have manhood
macho image problems and second they don't get lost, only dislocated
and there aint nothing a dislocated hunter can do to become
un-dislocated

	Space aged survival blanket for when you finally realize
that NO ONE is within ear shot of the whistle or in case of a woman
hunter, her screams, and you will be spending the night in the woods.
The pouch.

	Tire pump to pump up wheelbarrow tire when you notice it going
flat. Pouch.

	Well, that about covers it. If you follow this list you
will be the best equipped hunter in the woods. So gather it up and
good luck.

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
772.1	Minor Nit	CSC32::J_HENSON		`Tue Sep 25 1990 17:57`	6
	Steve, Hell of a list. However, I do have one small nit. I think that you should call it an 'impossibles' pouch. Jerry
772.2		NAVIER::LEFEBVRE	Vote YES on Question 3	`Tue Sep 25 1990 18:09`	4
	Steve, how could you possibly forget to include a trailer for which to haul said equipment around in the woods? Mark.
772.3	It's in there	WFOVX8::DRUMM		`Tue Sep 25 1990 18:34`	7
	Mark, I did list a wheelbarrow, it does have to rather large but I did list it. Steve
772.4		NAVIER::LEFEBVRE	Vote YES on Question 3	`Tue Sep 25 1990 18:48`	7
	Thanks, Steve. Point taken. The only thing I usually take in addition to all that you listed is a blow dryer. Can't be walking around in sub-freezing temperatures with wet hair, you know. Mark.
772.5		POKIE::WITCHEY	I'm the NRA	`Tue Sep 25 1990 23:23`	6
	If the thing gets too heavy, couldn't you throw in a light stick? Ain't that what they're for? Sorry, Bill
772.6	some little stuff	WJOUSM::PAPPALARDO		`Wed Sep 26 1990 14:58`	18
	You forgot a few items. The complete hunter would not be without; FLOAT PLANE 4X4 TRUCK BOAT OR CANOE *TIME Anyone know where I can get a job working 9 months of the year. I mean, I'm not greedy, I just want October, November, and December off--with pay ofcourse, but the money is'nt that important. Rick
772.7		GENRAL::WADE	Bye bye Ms. American Pie	`Wed Sep 26 1990 15:25`	8
	I can't believe you forgot the most important thing that every hunter should carry........ TOILET PAPER!!!!! Clay :^)
772.8	One more	CSC32::J_HENSON		`Wed Sep 26 1990 15:45`	6
	How can you even call yourself a hunter if you don't carry a Camoflague Wallet!!!!
772.9		FIVER::LEFEBVRE	Vote YES on Question 3	`Wed Sep 26 1990 16:09`	4
	If my wallet was camoflauge, I wouldn't be able to find it. Everyone knows you need a blaze orange wallet. Mark.
772.10		WJOUSM::PAPPALARDO		`Wed Sep 26 1990 16:22`	9
	Wallet?? With all the equipment mentioned so far we would need a vault! According to this note deer meat's about $400.00 a pound. Rick
772.11	Let Joe get it	HEFTY::CHARBONND	scorn to trade my place	`Wed Sep 26 1990 16:41`	2
	re .9 But if you can't find your wallet you don't have to buy the next round :-)
772.12	Mouse traps	XCUSME::NEWSHAM	I'm the NRA	`Wed Sep 26 1990 17:00`	5
	Don't forget to include mouse traps for the cabin. Nothing finer than setting up a trap line and competing with your fellow cabin mates for the week. Red 49 more days until I leave for camp....
772.13	hearing aids a must!	KNGBUD::LAFOSSE		`Wed Sep 26 1990 17:23`	29
	You guys are forgetting some important things that will only add ten or seventy pounds to the impossibles bag... Which by this time is unable to be zipped shut and is now the size of Indiana. additional items: treestand treestand steps folding camo seat (swivel seat optional) tripod deer and turkey feeder 50 lbs of deer feed ultimate scrape dripper camo paint porta-roof camo umbrella spotting scope rain gear extra ammo thermos with coffee thermos with soup sandwiches camera (for next years album) and last but not least.... a crane to pick the bastard up... or a Truss for those foolish enough to try picking it up themselves! Fra
772.14	ECO to Impossibles Possibles Pouch	WFOV12::DRUMM		`Thu Sep 27 1990 20:11`	95
	OK - OK - OK, youuuusssss guysssss. re: .1 Jerry an impossible possibles pouch it is. re: .4 Mark, can't carry the hair dryer in the woods, you would have to carry a generator to power it and JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU COULD PUT IT??? HU???? re: .5 Bill, a light stick, I like it but to be really thrifty let's make it a 10 foot stick. It can double for the 10 foot pole to hold the smoking can or brush saw. re: .6 Rick, where do I begin with you, You do do present a problem!! Float plane, OK if you want to hunt deer in a lake or river, but it can't go into the Impossible possible pouch to be taken into the woods for the hunt, it must be left on the water. 4x4 truck. how can you say this belongs? If you can't fit the impossibles possibles pouch into the truck what good will the truck be inside the impossibles possibles pouch, hu? Boat, Just what do you need a boat for if you have a float plane? * Time, OK good item, so put your time in the pouch cause that's what it's going take to carry it into the woods. re: .7 Clay, Now just what kind of outdoors person are you? Ain't you never heard of using nature to answer the call of nature? Use leaves!!! or corn cobs if you are hunting in the corn!! Toilet paper would just weight you down!! re: .8 J_henson, Camo wallet. Why would you need a camo wallet lest you pass your time counting your money while on stand? re: .9 Mark, Blaze orange wallet! What can I say, I don't have to say a word. RE: J_Henson Now it becomes clear!!! You and Mr. Charbonnd are real crafty outdoorsmen. WARNING WARNING WARNING If any of you out there hunt with these two characters, J_Henson or Charbonnd, DON'T go to the bar at the end of the day with them lest you want to buy the round. Cuzz they won't be ale to find their wallets. Sneaky, real sneaky re: .10 Rick, WOW you are now my idol!!! Cause you must shoot a LOT of deer to get the price down to only $400 a pound. Shucks, mine is still costing me about $2732.17 per pound. Have to buy all those new faddy clothes and gimmicks each year to refill the impossibles possibles pouch. re: .13 Fra, "13" gotta be my un-lucky number because that's the number of your reply that points out the errors of my way...8^( The treestand, how did I forget the treestand!!!! with all the accessories to boot. Forgive me for my error. Turkey-deer feeder!!! with 50 lbs of feed, now now Fra, do you bait your deer??? That's not nice. I'm gunna tell the warden -- I'm gunna tell the warden. ;^) Ultimate scrape dripper. Not bad, could use one. So put it you know where. Camo paint. Can't think what this is for with all the camo clothes, bow/gun, treestand and all, but if you insist!! The pouch. Porta-roof camo umbrella. Personally, cause I can't have a the hair dryer in the woods as mentioned by Mark in .4, I don't hunt in the rain. But is you must insist, then the pouch. Spotting scope, I listed binoculars but you can use a scope if you want, But it might make the pouch a little heavy to carry, after all we must conserve weight. Rain gear, for what? I don't hunt in the rain!!??!! Extra ammo, just for you Fra. Put it in the pouch. I need not say more here. Oh hell I can't resist, With all the misses you shoot at those skinny deer put a couple extra boxes of bullets or arrows in the pouch. 8*) Thermos of coffee and one of soup. Not bad,,,not bad. The pouch. Sandwiches.. the pouch, but be sure to put them on top!! Camera. I like it. The pouch. Keep it coming folks, I like it!!!! Steve Hmmmmmm maybe I should rewrite this whole note as a composite and have it printed on Outdoor Life, or Field and Stream or any other?
772.15		GENRAL::WADE	Bye bye Ms. American Pie	`Thu Sep 27 1990 20:19`	8
	Steve, I guess I'll have to agree with you on the toilet paper. Actually, the way I've always heard it is, "Be a man! Use your hand!" Of course, knowing me, I'd forget which hand I used when trying to put a dip of Skoal in my lip! ;^) Clay
772.16	just trying to help	BPOV06::J_AMBERSON		`Fri Sep 28 1990 12:06`	8
	Re: camo or blaze orange wallet, You aren't going to need a wallet after buying all this gear cause you'll hve nothing left to put in it. Don't forget to include the latest and greatest LORAN C unit in case you get "turned around" in them there woods. Jeff
772.17	leaving you no time to hunt :-)	SA1794::CHARBONND	scorn to trade my place	`Fri Sep 28 1990 12:07`	3
	The answer is obvious - a 4-wheel ATV to carry all the stuff, a pickup truck to haul the ATV, and a second job to pay for the pickup, ATV etc...
772.18	hey guys, got any change?	ROULET::BING	Yes, I too am the NRA/GOAL	`Fri Sep 28 1990 13:47`	8
	Re toilet paper If you don't have ant TP, corn cobs or poison ivy you can always use a dollar. Just make sure it aint three quarters, two dimes and a nickle ;') Walt
772.19		EUCLID::PETERSON	The End is in sight	`Fri Sep 28 1990 15:51`	6
	Make sure it's camo-or hunter orange TP... You don't want to go flying any 'flags' in the middle of hunting season!
772.20	Better add L.O.J.A.K. !!	SA1794::BARTHELETTEJ		`Mon Oct 08 1990 21:11`	15
	Take your Lojak burglar alarm off your vehicle and put it in the bag, this way here, when you don't show up supper your wife can phone the Police and report you stolen! Thus activating the LOJAK tracking system the police can come find you seeing as how you must have lost most of the important contents of this ... Bag!! The compass, topo maps,flashlight,camo toilet paper etc.... That is unless you made the mistake of telling your wife that you just increased your Life Insurance policy !! Utt-Ohh now your really lost and in trouble !!! Definitly better add L.O.J.A.K. << Jeff >>

Conference vmsnet::hunting$note:hunting

772.0. "Complete Hunter ??!!?? 8*)" by WFOV12::DRUMM () Tue Sep 25 1990 16:49

772.0. **"Complete Hunter ??!!?? 8*)"** by WFOV12::DRUMM () Tue Sep 25 1990 16:49