| Bret,
That reminds of a story.
A ventriloquist walks into an indian reservation. He walks up to
the chief and says, "Hey Chief, did you know your dog talks?"
Chief grunts, "Dog no talk!"
Ventriloquist says, "Het Dog, how do you like living here?"
Dog says,"Well, it's pretty good all in all. Last year we had a famine
and I thought they were gonna eat methere for a while, but in general,
life is good here."
Ventriloquist says, "Hey Chief, did you know your horse talks?"
Chief, with arms folded and disgust on his face says, "Horse no talk!"
Ventriloquist says to horse, "Hey horse, How do you like it here?"
The horse replies, "It's great! I love it! The chief rides me in
buffalo hunts and we always get our buffalo. The chief rides me into
battle and we fight fiercely. It's truly great here!"
Chief is somewhat stunned.
The ventriloquist says, "Hey Chief, did you know your sheep talk?"
With this, the Chief's eyes narrow and he exclaims, "Sheep lie!"
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| You guys either need to spend less time in the woods or more, I don't
know which.
Northwest Colorado has alot, like 10,000 per flock, of sheep in the
back country during bow season. It's kind of bad, they eat the grass
so short they push the elk futher back.
Then when the snows comes and they head back down there's nothing left.
Mark
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| Since this topic went to the laughing stock so to speak, no
pun intended (well maybe), here is another joke:
These two guys are sitting at a bar one night and get to talking
about hunting. They talk about hunting mountain lion. Over quite
a few drinks they make plans for a fall hunt. They both talk of
their strategies and agree on the location and the time.
The time arrives and Steve packs up his truck with his favorite
hunting rifle and all of his hunting and camping gear. Off he goes
to Joe's house to pick him up. Joe packs up all of hunting and camping
equipment and his dog. But Steve notices that Joe has not packed
a rifle, but he thinks that maybe Joe is going to be hunting with
a sidearm. So Steve doesn't give it another thought. Off they go
to their hunting destination.
After a 4 hour drive they get to their campsite. They unload
all of their camping gear and set up camp. After eating supper and
everything is all set they sit down for a game of cards. Steve thinks,
but does not ask, taht maybe Joe brought along his dog to tree the
cougars. His mind is a little foggy from that night at the bar.
After a few games of cards and a few beers they go to sleep, both
dreaming of bagging the biggest cat they had ever seen.
About 4:00AM the alarm goes off and they both get up and have
breakfast. Right after breakfast Steve gets out his trusty rifle.
Joe looks at him and says "Steve, I thought I told you my dog will
take care of everything, why are you getting out your rifle?" Steve
looks at him in a bit of amazement then says "This I have got to
see."
Both men take off into the woods from camp behind Joe's trusty
dog. The first tree they come too there is a squirrel in it. Joe
shakes the tree and the squirrel falls out to the ground. The dog
quickly pounces on it and has his way with it sexually. The squirrel
dies. Joe looks at Steve and says "How is that?" Steve replies
"That isn't a mountain lion, do you really think your dog can do
that to a cougar?" Joe just looks at him and says "No problem, lets
continue with the hunt." They walk a few hundred yards and they
come to a tree with a raccoon in it. Joe shakes the tree and the
raccoon falls to the ground. The dog quickly pounces on the bandit
and has his way with it sexually and kills it. Steve then says
"That still isn't a cougar." Joe says "No problem, but my dog is
tired right now. Why don't we go Cougar hunting tomorrow and let
my dog rest." So back to the camp they go.
After eating a big supper the two gentleman settle in for some
more cards and a couple of beers. Then to sleep they go dreaming
of big cats. At 4:00AM the alarm goes off and they both get up.
After Breakfast Steve gets out his trusty rifle. Joe gets up and
says "I thought my dog showed you yesterday that he could take care
of the hunt for us. Why are you getting out your rifle?" Steve replies
"If we are going cougar hunting I want my rifle along just in case."
Joe's reply to that is "Suit yourself."
Off to the woods they go. A couple of hours into their hunt
they come across a tree with a mountain lion in it. Joe gets all
excited and runs over to shake the tree. The cougar falls out and
the dog has his way with the cougar and kills it. Steve just can't
believe it and congratulates Joe. All of a sudden across this feild
in a big tree is a bear growling. Joe gets all excited and starts
running to the tree yelling and screaming along they way saying
his dog has never tackled anything this big before. Joe starts shaking
the tree but the bear does not fall out. Joe swears under his breath
and shakes the tree again. The bear still does not fall out and
this time Joe swaers out loud and exclaims "I'll just have to go
up that tree and knock that old bear out myself. Joe climbs up to
the branch that the bear is on and starts shaking the branch. The
bear didn't like this too much so with one swipe of his paw he knocks
Joe right off the branch. On his way to the thr ground Joe yells
"SHOOT THE DOG!"
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