Conference vaxcat::friends

    
I wandered lonely as a cloud
____________________________

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once i saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay;
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee;
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company;
I gazed-and gazed-but little thought
What wealth and show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

		- William Wordsworth
    

    
    Rainy Morn
    ----------
    
    The sky was colored brown & dark as could be
    The wind blowing that steady gust
    
    Little rain drops trickling down
    As i sat perched beside my window that morn
    
    Heard the soft melody of a bird sing
    Far beyond the sights and sounds i could feel
    
    A sight that had me glued to the scene
    Was this little squirrel playing with a nut
    
    The rain pouring down on him in gusts
    Had him trying to juggle that nut with guts 
    
    I felt the peace of nature all around
    To be awakened by the world that yet sleeps.
    
    
    Sush.
    03/11/91

                       If you open your mind
                       The eyes you look through
                       Will be facets of Diamonds
                       Shining what you see from within
                       A deep stare like the ocean blue
                       The sun glistening on it's waves
                       Holds what you see in your eyes
                       If you open your mind
                       Spellbound by the sunset
                       As the waves crash to the shore
                       Whisper sounds of wonder
                       As seagulls kiss the sky
                       The smile you shine
                       Will tell the tale of many dreams
                       Of what you see will be diamonds
                       Come true when you open your mind

    

    
    
                <<< ROCKO::DUA2:[NOTES$LIBRARY]POETRY.NOTE;2 >>>
                                  -< POETRY >-
ALTOS::GKEFALINOS "IfYouWontLetMeBeMe,IwontBeYou!"   22 lines  23-MAR-1990 03:07
    
    
    
 
    
        
    Diamonds in the palm of my hand,
    So tightly that I clutch.
    They bring me such great happiness,
    Too much is never enough.
    These gems I hold so close to me,
    Forever they are mine.
    Are gems we all appreciate,
    Until the end of time.
    
    
    Friends.
    
    
    Gerry
    

               FOREVER-LASTING LOVE
    
    
    It seems that I have become a part of you...
      as though I breathe your breath
        and my heart beats in rhythm with yours.
    I love you more than I thought possible
      and I know that every day our love will grow.
    I need to be with you all the time.
    Everything else seems meaningless;
      nothing is as important as us and our love.
    I need you to make me smile, to make me happy.
    When I cannot be with you, I am frustratd and lonely.
    Time not spent with you is wasted time.
    You are my life, my soul, my very being.
    My world is you and all the warmth you
      gentle smile, touch, and caress send to me.
    We are a lifetime of love.
    We are unique and beautiful because we
      see with our hearts, not just our eyes.
    You make me feel something that words
         cannot convey.
    You have shown me the true meaning of
         forever-lasting love...
     Forever lasting in us.
    
    
             Dawnne T. Santos
    

    
    Sometimes we feel desperately alone in our sufferings. It helps to
    when we know that someone feels with us, that someone understands. Even
    our joys are short - lived, unless they are shared with others and are
    felt in some way by them.
    
    Ordinarily, we seek consolation in our sorrows and share our joys
    with immediate friends. They look on us as persons, not as
    objects and because of this this they truly know how we feel. They 
    cry with us and laugh with us, just as we cry and laugh with them.
    When there is no occasion for laughter or tears or even conversation,
    they are offering their companionship. Their mee presence is often
    the greatest sign of love and friendship.
    
    Our true friends know how we feel because they love us. They identify
    with us so completely that our thoughts and sentiments become their
    thoughts and sentiments.
    
    They love which springs from their openness to us and our openness
    to them is more than chemical reaction.
    
    We cannot love others unless we love ourselves first of all. Of
    ourselves we do not have enough human love to fulfill us and others. 
    We bathe in God's love and since it is abundant we share it with
    others.
    

    
    Far-away Home
    -------------
    
    Beyond these closedoors I see
    The placid green and swaying stalks
    Blades of grass to the gentle breeze
    
    Flocks of birds heading home
    In groups and bunches of wings
    Return to their homes afar
    
    A warm home far away awaits
    This gentle toiler of the day
    The loved one and the young
    
    The warmth and the love abound
    In that small but heavenly abode
    Solitude, quiet and peace around
    
    But the sunset in the distant horizon
    Helps heal a lonesome heart
    Of hopes that linger onto an other morn 
    
    Longing for his beloved somewhere
    To forget all that's gone past & by
    Care, Share & Build a home 
    As good as that lucky bird that flies !!  
    
    Sush.
    3/18/92.

       The Rabbit
    
    white hot daggers!
    Climbing down the hill
    Coming at me faster
    then coming faster still
    
    white hot daggers!
    Stabbing in my eyes
    Closing in upon me
    perhaps they'll pass me by
    
    loud monsterous growling
    Climbing up the hill
    A dragon coming at me
    jesus! what a thrill!
    
    frozen by the daggers!
    Captured by the growl
    Road pizza for buzzards
    as the coyotees howl.
    
    
    Skip
                            

	Snow Flakes
	-----------

Snow flakes, pretty little snow flakes
Where do ye come from ?

What is it like up there
As pretty and soft as thee are ?

Coming down like drops of rain
But why r u so much lighter and plain ?

You deck the elms and pines around
Do u want us to stand out there ?

To look so white and so clean
Are my treads spoiling that shine ?

Wish i could stay and play 
Is that why u come forth everyday ?

For us to forget those routines and that pain
What do u like being a snowball or a snowman ?

Sush.
12/06/91.
    

	THE CHILD WITHIN
        ----------------

See the light, feel the warmth
See what this world has beneath
All these notions of hate and disregard
Are just a facade behind which we hide

What is it like deep down inside
Have we ever tried to find
That bound up child deep within
Caged and restrained just fits in

It is not normal some may say
To act a child, you are grown they say
But then is that all there is to say
About the pranks and games we used to play

Letting them emotions build up so
That could have been left to flow
Cannot we just let it go
As we did in childhood so

Is it worth all this growing up 
If we cannot make the time to play
From our tedious routines so to say
Just to laugh and play each day !!

Sush.
12/17/91.
    

    I kinda thought it was appropriate to put these in now....the first
    written just now...the second a little while ago!!
    
    
				fairwell


		Fairwell my friends that time has come for you to go
 		don't be sad, it's not all bad, as many doors will open

		Fairwells are only temporary, as we'll soon meet again
		no date no time specified, but be sure we will know when!

		You'll always be thought of dearly, and be missed so very 
		much and may all your hopes and dreams be realised and may 
		you always stay in touch.

		You've touched our hearts so deeply , with your footprint 
		full of memories that will never fade, you've brought much 
		joy and laughter and in life you will be re-paid.

		take care in all your travels, our prayers will follow 
		you where ever you go, you're thought of very dearly , 
		more than you'll ever know.
	
		So keep that chin up high, passing all lifes worries by, 
		with the friends you'll have we'll carry you, so you'll 
		never be alone, no matter where you rome!!

		Tracie Baker 24/3/92
    


				"The Messenger"


		The message in this poem is dedicated to you
		for the love and understanding you've given 
		through and through.

		May the good lord above, serve you your just deserts
		may he be my messanger of Love.

		You have showed me understanding, and patience 
		to the hilt, you have given me your friendly ear
		when it's been needed most.

		You were there for me, when my mouth was turning down
		you made me laugh you may me smile to upset that lurking 
		frown.

		I wish I could give you so many precious things, but I 
		honestly believe, God already gave you everything.
		he gave you understanding to share with those who care
		he also gave belief instead of dispair.

		You to me are everything, your needed and your cherished,
		with a friend like you, my spirits high and I know I 
		can challenge anything. 

		I will achieve the things I dream off, if not for me for
 		you...as your dreams are my dreams and I would never let 
		you down...just be a little patient with me and later on 
		in life, be ready for recieving my most precious gift of life
		
		for later on you'll see my dear your generosity returned,
		just open up your heart my dear and find a lesson 
		learned! 


		Dedicated to my Best Friend

		Tracie Baker 23/02/92
		

				fairwell


		Fairwell my friends that time has come for you to go
 		don't be sad, it's not all bad, as many doors will open

		Fairwells are only temporary, as we'll soon meet again
		no date no time specified, but be sure we will know when!

		You'll always be thought of dearly, and be missed so very 
		much and may all your hopes and dreams be realised and may 
		you always stay in touch.

		You've touched our hearts so deeply , with your footprint 
		full of memories that will never fade, you've brought much 
		joy and laughter and in life you will be re-paid.

		take care in all your travels, our prayers will follow 
		you where ever you go, you're thought of very dearly , 
		more than you'll ever know.
	
		So keep that chin up high, passing all lifes worries by, 
		with the friends you'll have we'll carry you, so you'll 
		never be alone, no matter where you rome!!

		Tracie Baker 24/3/92
    
    
    
    
				"The Messenger"


		The message in this poem is dedicated to you
		for the love and understanding you've given 
		through and through.

		May the good lord above, serve you your just deserts
		may he be my messanger of Love.

		You have showed me understanding, and patience 
		to the hilt, you have given me your friendly ear
		when it's been needed most.

		You were there for me, when my mouth was turning down
		you made me laugh you may me smile to upset that lurking 
		frown.

		I wish I could give you so many precious things, but I 
		honestly believe, God already gave you everything.
		he gave you understanding to share with those who care
		he also gave belief instead of dispair.

		You to me are everything, your needed and your cherished,
		with a friend like you, my spirits high and I know I 
		can challenge anything. 

		I will achieve the things I dream off, if not for me for
 		you...as your dreams are my dreams and I would never let 
		you down...just be a little patient with me and later on 
		in life, be ready for recieving my most precious gift of life
		
		for later on you'll see my dear your generosity returned,
		just open up your heart my dear and find a lesson 
		learned! 


		Dedicated to my Best Friend

		Tracie Baker 23/02/92
		

    I made up this little ditty for two of my loveliest friends, Jannie &
    robb...... thought I'd put it in here......
    
	'Parting is such *sweet* sorrow' they say
	but I see this one as rather sad,
	cuz you have always stuck by me
	and been there in good times and bad.

	but life is one big journey
	and no matter what road you take,
	I will always be alongside you
	in whatever decision you make.

	For we are not really parting
	just following new roads ahead.
	Try not to feel too sad or blue
	and remember the *crazy* times instead.

	The times that we have fooled around
	the secrets that we've shared,
	the smiles and hugs we've passed along
	that really showed we cared.

	For that is what truly matters
	....that Friendship lasts a lifetime.
	and no matter where this takes us
	you will always be a true friend of mine.

	So goodluck my friend and God bless,
	May bright happiness shine upon you.
	And when you're down, look across the pond
	and think of hugs and friendships true!

    It never seems right
    That things could go so wrong.
    Just as it was better
    and I think that I belong.
    
    Then my heart is torn,
    wrenched from me in pain,
    And you won't hold me
    And I feel as if it's all in vain.
    
    My tears don't seem to touch you,
    You say you really care;
    But when I want to say I love you;
    I turn and you're not there.
    
    You used to say you loved me
    and I believe that it was true.
    I've tried so hard to please,
    But now I'm losing you.
    
    Please don't leave me all alone
    Something I could not bare.
    I don't understand why this happens,
    But still I really care.
    
    And you said you cared for me
    But the pain, it hurts so much.
    If you care how could you ignore me,
    without words, a smile, or touch.
    
    Words can't really express
    The love for you so real.
    Why can't we love the way we used to?
    I can never change the way I feel.
    
    We've shared each other's joy and pain,
    the good times together were never few,
    But now they seem to be numbered
    And it can never be just me and you.
    
    But if you think it's over,
    and there's nothing I can do.
    There is one thing I can say; it will never change.
    Now and always, forever, I love you.
               

    		MY LOVE
    
    Every morning, when I open my eyes,
      my first thought is of you.
    Your gentle face flashes through my mind
       and my heart give a sudden leap of joy.
    I think of the special way you treat me
                and wonder
    What I did to deserve such a wonderful man.
    When I am with you, times flies,
      and it seems we have just said hello
             when it is time to part.
    I look into your magical eyes
      and they smile at me,
       showing all the tenderness inside
                your soul.
    You touch me, and all is lost 
       in the sweetness of your embrace.
    Darling, stay here by my side,
       and forever you will be
                my love.
    
    
                       Dawnne T. Santos
    

    			MEMORIES
    
    	I sit here and think of you in my past.
    	So many memories going through my mind.
    	Your soft hair, and boyish smile.
    	I remember the butterflies I used to get,
    	  when you would smile at me and take my hand,
    		or I would take yours.
    	I remember how I always wanted to be close to you;
    		I constantly needed your touch or kiss.
    
    	I remember being with you like it was yesterday.
    	And I remember being without you and crying as if
    		my heart would break in two.
    
    	I know I wanted too much.
    	I wanted you to cherish me; to care for me
    	   like I cared for you.
    	I wanted you to always be thinking of me
    	   when we weren't together.
    	I wanted to be everything to you,
    	   like you were everything to me.
    
    	And that was too much for you.
    	At the time, I didn't understand that it scared you.
    	That we were too young to be so serious.
    	And even if you had still cared for me,
            you let me go.
    	For a long time I thought I hated you,
    	  because I wanted to give you so much
    		and you had to reject it.
    
    	I finally realized that you weren't trying to hurt me.
    	You needed time to grow and become what you
    		wanted to become.
    
    	And now when I think of you
          there is a smile on my face.
    	A smile that you put there.
    
    
    				Dawnne T. Santos
    

	
	IF
 	--
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies
Or being hated don't give way to hating
And yet look good, and cheer all on

If you can dream-and not make dreams your master
If you can think-and not make thoughts your goal
If you can meet with Victories and Defeats
And treat them monsters just the same

Or watch the things you build up and crumble
You stoop and rebuild them again with worn-out tools
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And weigh it against your heap of losses
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To wait your turn and not give up

And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them "Hold on!"
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it
So hold on, don't shed a tear, or give up for fear.

Sushil.
12/09/91.
    
    

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall,
Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all!
Count your nights by stars,
Not shadows,
Count your life with smiles,
Not tears,
And with joy in this,
Count your age by friends,
Not years.

..Anonymous

    Chariot o fire
    ----------------
    
    There was this thunder and this roar
    The shudder and the wind asunder
    There was this dust and this cloud
    Afar much far than i could see
    
    There was this shine and glow all around
    As though the Earth was splitting through
    The light played and re-played on yonder
    Beams o light that sparkled with thunder
    
    It was this Chariot, this Chariot o fire
    With a maiden brighter than any light or pire
    Much prettier than i had ever known
    Seemed to hold all the glow o my heart within
    
    Down from the rut and dump that i was in 
    Seemed to be calling for me again 
    Left me wondering if this is her
    The her that i had been longing for ??

    What if it were and were not her
    Still i ponder if this's what was meant to be
    Or are there endless paths yet to tread
    Along with this Chariot o fire.

Sush.
12/12/91.

           You'll find this in a couple of cross posting.  I wrote it
    originally in reply to the question of 'What is Love?' as a topic of
    dicussion in a notes file.  It's the closest I've come yet to a
    discription....
     
              Love Is...    
    When we're together and reality
    Starts slipping of shoulders and shattering
    On the floor in jagged fragmentations...
    
    When we, warmly touching each other's hands,
    Make those sharp hard edges become soft blurs,
    Shapely soft curves and smooth rounded valleys.
    
    We gather them in our arms exploring
    And travel across the finely formed lines.
    The inheriant child in us understands
    
    Our words meaning more then the sounds they make.
    Fears run away like shadows from sun light
    And the embrace echos around our hearts
    
    When the world stops turning for that moment
    And we share all there is for us to share.
    
    Skip
    
    
    
    				Skip
    				Feb 12 1991
    				For AMR on Valentines Day

    Often I just jot down a few lines that come to my mind, this happened
    yesterday when I was thinking of various people in my life.


		WHY DO I LIKE YOU?
	
	I like you for your smile, 
	... that shows the warmth in your heart.

	... for your eyes that twinkle when you
	are happy or excited.

	... and that infectious laugh that sends
	out waves of happiness as it bellows.

	I like you for your touch,
	... that is so gentle and always welcomed.

	...for your words that seem to whisper to me
	of our friendship.

	Why do I like you? 
	... I like you because you are YOU!
                                                               

    
	While I'm at it I thought I'd put a couple more in that I have.
    This one I made up (with Reb throwing in some lines! :^) for a
    house-wrecking party at Jo's about a month back. We had it on the
    invitation and it turned out to be a *GREAT* party!!
    
	The time has come to move once more
	we have one last chance to annoy next door.
	We've decided to have a house-wrecking party,
	B.Y.O. drink and dress up real tarty!
	The place you can't miss as the noise will be loud
	bring all your friends and we'll make a great crowd.
	No furniture to wreck, the house is all clear,
	room to fall down if you've had too much beer.
	Games for the daring to keep you amused,
	so lock up your partners and bring all your booze!
                                                        

	This poem I made up for a pub crawl we organised for Friday the
    13th. This was on the invitations as well as a list of the 'local
    haunts' (pubs/clubs) that we were going to. 

	Black Friday is upon us again
	and it's time to run in fright.
	Unless of course, you'd like to share
	in the mystery of this night?

	Where Witches and Ghosts come out to play
	and invade the local 'haunts'
	they come, the seek, they catch you out
	playing the game of flirts and flaunts!
	
	But do not fear, for they hate beer
	and any other kind of 'spirit'
	so the aim of the night is to avoid the spooks
	and drink until your limit!
	
	For this will keep the Ghoulies away
	and the things that go 'bump' in the night.
	They won't haunt you, or tease you or steal all your drinks
	........... but then again..... they just might!!

	
           

	This is a long one, you may not want to bother reading it. Also, a
    lot of the places mentioned you probably wuoldn't know. I made this
    poem up for my sister's wedding and gave it at her reception. Every-one
    LOVED it, my sister sent out a copy with all the thankyous. It's kind
    of a little story about Jenny and her (now) husband, Scott.
    
WHEN THE MAGIC STARTS .....
- dedicated to Mr & Mrs Hewish 28th September, 1991

Once upon a time at a place not far from here 
it was at the Macquarie Inn when Scott did first appear.
For Scott it hit him in a flash, love at first sight for sure,
he danced and romanced our Jen until she too wanted more.

From friendship it turned into heavy romance, there was no turning back.
It blossomed into full time love, passed the stage of menial chat.
Delivery of flowers and candlelit dinners were the way to our Jen's heart
And for Scott it was her beauty, he loved her from the start.

To all it was fairly obvious that these two were a match
So we just bided our time for the announcement when they would offically become
attached. 
Now  how hard does it sound, for Scott to ask Jenny to be his wife? 
Well little did we all know how much this quest would cause him strife.

Scott being such a romantic, planned a wonderful weekend,
A beautiful setting at Jenolan Caves,  no matter how much he would spend.
All the natural beauty surrounding and soft warm nights for romance,
But then something happened to ruin his perfect chance.

The weekend sounded like so much fun and a chance to have a great time,
That what was supposed to be a weekend for 2 turned into a party of  9.
Never before did Scott realise what an instant family meant
Myself, my sister and her family were there to enjoy the event. 

Now we didn't know what Scott had planned and that we were in the way
We all had a great time exploring the caves by day.
So Scott's plans were slightly postponed and he would have to plan again
And this time make sure that all was right and NO family was to attend!

Then plan two came into view and Scott determinded to make sure 
That nothing or no one would get in the way when he made his attempt once more.
So he thought .... somewhere far and well removed from ALL family and friends
And perhaps this time things would work out right for his romantic filled
weekend. 

Hamilton Island was the place and how perfect was his choice,
Of course he couldn't choose the weather which turned out a little moist.
But alas he found his perfect chance one soft romantic night 
A walk along the beach perhaps? oh yes this would turn out right.

As his sweetheart lay along the lounge outside under the moon, 
With the gentle waves asplashing here his future bride would swoon.
With the stars their only audience he gazed deep into her eyes,
And asked her finally with so much love "Jenny will you be my bride?"
Well she paused .... for a split second or two and then turned to him and said 
"with all my heart I love you and I'd love for us to wed." 

Today the time has finally arrived and we're all here in celebration
So let's eat drink and be merry and I don't mean in moderation.
From all of us to Jen and Scott we wish you both the best,
Let's party till the time must come to send the love birds to their nest.

Now that you're married you do realise that life has just begun 
And Jen when you're 9 months pregnant you may not think it's so much fun!
But when you have a little Jen or Scott it will make life so worthwhile,
And not only will you have each other but a lot more to make you smile.

So again, congratulations, from everybody here 
And from those looking on from up above they send their love and cheer.
The love that you have here today will carry on through your life
So enjoy your day, this special day of becoming husband and wife.


-  Written by  Melissa Gallagher
                     

    The Little Koala
    ================
    
    There once was a little Koala,
    Bliss was her name,
    She was as cute as anything,
    And Flirting was her game.
    She had SO many men,
    Begging for her love,
    But Bliss was a sensible girl,
    She found a Sheep to love.
    
    By An Anonymous Sheep 6-4-92

    Give it up Sheep
    
    She's a dragon lover from a l---o---n---g time back AND we know what 
    dragons like to do to sheep don't we?
    
    tee hee hee HAH!
    
    --Griffin  
    
    Oh so I don't get rat holed...
    
    There once was a dragon named Griffin
    Who'se wings were just right for liftin
    Him up in the air
    Till he hasn't a care
    but his feet are made for sheep steppin
    
    ;-)
    
    --Griffin 
    
    (Okay so us dragons don't make good rimes, we try hard though)
    
    

    Skip,
    
    
          There once was a dragon called Griffin,
          Who deserved a dammed good kickin'
          One day a Sheep,
          SO POWERFUL AND SLEEK,
          Snuck up on the dragon and bit him.
    
        :))
    
        Super_Sheep :))))
    <FF>
    
        --Griffin Crying after a savage attack by a Superior Sheep
    <FF>
                                          / / /
                                         /(/(/(
                      /--------\   _____/o     \
                      |  *WEEP*| /^       }}}  |
                      \  *SOB* />vv^^v^___    /
                       --------.   \___/   \  \         .-
                          _..-'(           /  /         )`-.._
                       ./'. '||\\.        |##|        .//||` .`\.
                    ./'.|'.'||||\\|..    /####\    ..|//||||`.`|.`\.
                 ./'..|'.|| |||||\``````/######\''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.
               ./'.||'.|||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| ||||.`||.`\.
              /'|||'.|||||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| ||||||.`|||`\
             '.|||'.||||||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| |||||||.`|||.`
            '.||| ||||||||| |/'   ``\|||########|||/''   `\| ||||||||||||.`
            |/' \./'     `\./        \!/\######/\!/         \./'     `\./`\|
            V    V         V          V//|####|\\V           V         V   V
            `    `         `           \\`\##/'//            '        '    '
                                    ___//  \ \ \\___
                                   ///-'   / /  `-\\\
                                           \ \
                                            \/
                                            /\   <---Nasty looking Sheep Bite
                                           / /
                                          / /
                                         \| |/
                                          \#/
                                           V
      

    Mark,
    
    
    There once was a Sheepie named Mark
    Who bit a dragon once on a lark
    The dragon didn't whine
    Cause he decided to dine
    On Roast Sheepie then play in the park.
    
    
    
    Tee Hee HEE HAH!
    --Griffin

    Skip,
    
    
    The once was a dragon called Griffin,
    Who ate some sheep with stuffing,
    Everyone was horrified,
    By this Cruel homicide,
    So they all descided to HANG HIM.
    
    Sheepies_Spirit (Well you've all seen Ghost havent you :))  )
    
    
    R.I.P. GRIFFIN - 8-4-92
    
    
    ==========================================|
    ==========================================|
    ||    //                                  |
    ||   //                                   |
    ||  //                                    |
    || //                               / / / |
    ||//                               /(/(/( |
    ||/                          _____/o     \|
    ||                         /^       }}}  ||
    ||                         vv^^v^___    / |
    ||                       -.  \___/   \  \ |         .-
    ||                   _..-'(          oooo/          )`-.._
    ||                ./'. '||\\.        |##|        .//||` .`\.
    ||             ./'.|'.'||||\\|..    /####\    ..|//||||`.`|.`\.
    ||          ./'..|'.|| |||||\``````/######\''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.
    ||        ./'.||'.|||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| ||||.`||.`\.
    ||       /'|||'.|||||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| ||||||.`|||`\
    ||      '.|||'.||||||| ||||||||||||########|||||||||||| |||||||.`|||.`
    ||     '.||| ||||||||| |/'   ``\|||########|||/''   `\| ||||||||| |||.`
    ||     |/' \./'     `\./        \!/\######/\!/         \./'     `\./`\|
    ||     V    V         V          V//|####|\\V           V         V   V
    ||     `    `         `           \\`\##/'//            '         '   '
    ||                             ___//  \ \ \\___
    ||                            ///-'   / /  `-\\\
    ||                                    \ \
    ||                                     \ \
    ||                                     / /
    ||                                    / /
    ||                                   / /
    ||                                  \| |/
    ||                                   \#/
    ||\                                   V
    ||\\
    || \\
    ||  \\
    ||   \\
    ========================================================|
    ========================================================|
    

    
    
    
    
    
    
    Yo sheep, don't you know a rope around a dragons neck 
    Just won't kill him?  We're talking about a creature (me) that has
    armour plating all around his body... nothing short of a Nuclear Blast 
    would cause much damage, and a NB would only help fuel my pilot light!
    
    Soooooo....
    
    Well they TRIEd to hang the dragon.
    
    But they were caught with out their pants on
    
    For the scales of the neck
    
    Are to strong to wreck
    
    So Griffin napped after eating his mutton.
    
--Griffin

    So the dragon survived the hanging,
    The scales on his neck were too tough,
    But after a dose of poison,
    Will the dragon still be so rough.
    
                    ( ( )() (  ))
                ( ( )((  (   )   ) ^^___      _____
              (((  ( (  ()  )  )  /  O  \__o /HEHEH\
              (   ( )()((( ) )   )       _/ <      |
               (   (  (  )   ) ) )\______/   \_____/  _||_
                 (  ((  (  )) ) )                    /    \
                   | |       | |                    |POISON|
                   L L       L L                    |      |
                                                    --------
    

    Well the poisen slide down the dragons throat
    And the sheep he-he-heeee did gloat
    But it reached inner fire
    And burned like desire
    Was as effective as a rootbeer float
    
    So......
    
    The dragon got tired of the sheep
    And was angered cause a ghost didn't sleep
    So he called up a friend
    Who did exorcism
    Now the sheep has muscles like Arnold Shwartzenager (?)
    
    The dragon was getting quiet wild
    The sheep was supposed to be mild!
    But the sheep gave a bleet
    that nocked Grif off his feet
    But the dragon just looked at him and smiled
    
    For a sheep doesn't have much effect
    On a beast that's impossible to wreck
    Although he my try
    Eventually he will sigh
    For the Dragon is worse then a Tech!
    
    He pops up at unwanted times
    With words that just don't quiet rime
    But he thinks it's okay
    Cause folks like him that way
    And if things get tough he can beg for a dime
    
    --Griffin
    

    The sheep is about to admit defeat,
    With a very sad and pathetic BLEEEET,
    When suddenly he remembers,
    The reason he is fighting,       (<---Bliss's honour )
    And slowly gets to his feet.
    
    The dragon starts to panic and shake,
    He BEGS the sheep to let him escape,
    The Sheep shows no mercy,
    Knocks his foe over,            
    and starts to tickle his feet.  (<---Griffins week spot)

    The dragon is down and it looks grim
    The sheep may have finally beat him
    When Bliss walks up and says with a grin
    "Not the feet 
    Crazy Sheep
    Griffin likes the chin!"
    
    Then she tickles his scales with fingers so nice
    And she stares down the sheep with eyes like ice
    A comforting hug she gives to the dragon
    And locks the sheep up in the meat wagon
    To jail she takes him for hinouse crimes
    Like attempted posioning and horrible rimes
    Then she climbs on the back of the dragon, Griffy
    And says off to your cave now you'll be fixed in a Jiffy
    And Griffin content with the Axe at his back
    Flys off to his cave 
    
    
    

In came Bliss and saw the fight over her
She called onto them to stop this dreaded war
In came the Dragon & the Sheep unto her
She gave them a hug & a smooch to spare
In here beware she said, i want no war but                     
    
                                    |  |
                                    |  |
                                    |  |
                                    |  |
                                    |  |
                                    |  |
    
    
    
    
                                                CC           EE 
                  EE       AAAAAAAA           CC           EE
    PP          EE         AA     AA        CC           EE     
   PPPP       EE           AA      AA     CC            EE           EE
  PP   PP   EE             AA       AA   CC              EE         EE
 PP     PP  EE       EE    AA        AA   CC              EE      EE
PP      PP   EE    EE       AA      AAAA   CC              EE    EE
P      PP     EE  EE         AA    AA  AA   CC              EE EE 
 PP   PP       EEEE      EE   AA AA     AA   CC          CC  EEEE
  PP PP         EE      EE     AA        AA   CC        CC    EE           EE
   PP            EE    EE       AA        AA   CC     CC       EE        EE
    PP            EE  EE         AA        AA   CC   CC         EE     EE
     PP            EEEE           AA        AA   CCCC            EE   EE   
      PP            EE             AA        AA   CC              EEEE  
       PP            

AND CARE !!   8^))

    Bliss flew off to the Dragons cave,
    The Sheep was upset and dismayed,
    She went voluntarily, there was no struggle,
    Now they are probably having a cuddle.
    
    The Sheeps heart was broken in to one million pieces,
    Bliss had deserted him, there was no reason to live,
    He felt so cold, so blue, so alone,
    And worst of all he had a cold.
    
    The Sheep walked slowly back to his field,
    He couldnt work out why life was so mean,
    The Dragon had won, that he could take,
    But Bliss had deserted him, there was no mistake.
    
    Slowly, so slowly he drank some poison,
    He fell sick and started ascending to heaven,
    "I gave that Koala all that I could,
    But she deserted me and shacked up with griffin instead".
    
    As the last breath of life did slip from his body,
    All he could think about was what had happened,
    From his lips a few dying words did escape,
    "Bliss I love you".....Sheepie passed away.
    
    

    When Griffin returned to find the sheep
    Poor Bliss had tough he was fast asleep!
    You see once in the cave after all was done
    Bliss got upset at the dumb dragon.
    
    She told him to be good as a dragon should
    Then tickled his scales (As he KNEW she would)
    Then again they took off into the sky
    To look for the Sheep (Who was about to die)
    
    Well amazing it seems, for the sheep was dead
    And when Bliss and Griff found him Griff turned quiet red!
    For Bliss was in tears and said "Look at him Griff!"
    That poor old sheepie is gone over a tiff!
    
    Griffin cried tears as well there with Bliss
    And thought for a moment and checked over a list
    Poisoned sheepie's" he siad,"Ahhh it's here and can't miss!
    Quickly now girl, give him just one kiss!"
    
    So Bliss leaned over the fallen dead sheep
    And with a Kiss he awoken as if he were asleep
    Then he bleeted and bahhed and he danced on Griff's head
    Then they all left together to snuggle in bed.
    
    Now the neighbors may think that this is a bit strange
    How A  Sheep and a Dragon and an Aussie arrange
    To share with each other and cuddle each night
    But according to Griffin it seems to work out right
    
    So when they get nosey and ask silly questions
    The Sheep takes them aside and offers a suggestion
    "Don't ask!" he will bleet "To satisfy your desire."
    "Cause if you do, you'll be burned by Griff's fire!"
    
    So they live quiet happly in a cave on a hill
    And Bliss admits that it is quiet a thrill
    To sore through the heavens on Griffin's back
    And snuggle up softly with a sheep in he sack.
    
    ;-)
    --Griffin 

    
        As Sheepie drifted off to sleep
    	he felt his life pass away
	with thoughts of Bliss and all things nice
    	he would not be afraid.
    
    	As he drifted towards this bright white light
    	he felt a sudden jolt.
    	'But Heaven is so close to me'
    	then he heard 'Sheepie!! It's not my fault!'
    
    	'Don't go my sweet, it's not too late
    	you gotta fight to stay alive!'
    	He listened and knew that voice so well
    	and to fight death he did strive.
    
    	He awoke to hear the voice of Bliss
    	her tears spilt on his cheek.
    	'You're alive my Sheep! You made it through
    	you'll be fine in about a week.'
    
    	Turns out what he thought was poison
    	was really washing powder instead.
    	So all he'd had was a bad dream
    	and an aweful aching head.
    
    	So the story went, or so Bliss says
    	that thr Dragon did persue.
    	He swept her off her feet one day
    	and love was all so new.
    
    	She hasn't lost her love for you
    	nor has she for the dragon.
    	She loves you both and can't decide
    	so this is a major problem.
    
    	'No fights, no lies, no suicides,
    	I want you both you see.
    	My love is forever endless
    	and will last eternity.'
    
    	So Bliss loves both and both are well
    	and no fighting will occur
    	for if it does Bliss will go off
    	and find a new lover!!!!
    
    	:^))))))))

    
    re .43
    
    Sheep!!! I can see our first argument coming on!!!! :^{
    
    re .44
    
    For you my sweet, sweet Dragon,
    I'll cook a pizza so fine.
    With lots of goo and insects
    and your favourite snail slime.
    
    As for you dear, dear sheepie,
    any more comments like that.  (re .43)
    and you'll be sharing this nice warm bed
    with the next door neighbours cat!!!
    
    :^) 
    
    Bliss
         

    
    	The Morrow
        ----------
    
    Let us be quiet for a while,
    The morrow comes! Let us be still!
    Let us close our eyes and smile,
    Knowing that the morrow will
    
    Come as certain as the Sun
    Or a sorrow! Let us be
    Peaceful till this night is done,
    And we rise again to see
    
    That the thing is not in view
    That the memory is gone
    That the world is made anew
    Different for every one
    
    Different, the morrow glows
    Over the day that has gone beyond
    Where the petals of a rose
    Blush in the Solitude.....

    Dear Sheepie...
    
    Oooops I think you might have goofed
    I sure hope you are bullet proof!!!!!
    
    --Griffin

	    Longlost Love
            -------------
    Love was all i ever thought had
    All this power of endless tenure
    Those rigid walls that we broke through then
    Were all tiny windows to this world
    We had peep out often through 
    To laugh and smirk at all these people there
    Secure in the thought of each others love
    But today i stand in retrospect
    And learn to laugh and smirk at me
    The mirage that it had all been
    I never gave up though until i heard
    You needed me not, no more again
    Must have been my careless love for you
    My outstretched arms & eager lips to get you through
    All those troubled days that we knew
    Or it must have been the things i never knew
    That i should have but did not do
    But you should have told me so
    I would have as i ever did
    Those sweet memories will forever ring
    A soft tingle somewhere deep down within
    Hope we meet as friends somewhere someday
    Oh I shall wander hereabouts around
    Till i find the calm of the setting sun
    

    
    Just me pandering.............  :^)
    04/17/92.

    I remember seeing my first rainbow.
    I remember the colors so bright.
    Red, orange, yellot, green, blue, indigo.
    How they glistened in the light.
    
    I walked through life's rain.
    Waited for the storms to subside.
    How can one person withstand so much pain?
    I had to run and hide.
    
    Then suddenly the clouds began to part
    And sunlight began to stream in.
    But I couldn't pursuade my broken heart.
    To let a new day begin.
    
    I turned and looked, and there I saw
    Such a beautiful sight to see.
    That beautiful rainbow.  I stood there in awe.
    It seemed to shine for me.
    
    Yes, the rainbow shined for me.
    I was lost in a storm
    till it's light helped me see.
    That there's no need to hide.
    No need to flee.
    for some day a rainbow
    Will set your heart free.
    
    
    				Holly Taylor - January 6, 1990
    

I hope this helps when you feel deprived of something.

		THE WORLD IS MINE

Today upon a bus I saw, a lovely girl with golden hair;
I envied her...she seemed so gay...and wished I were as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle;
She had one foot and wore a crutch, but as she passed a smile.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two feet...the world is mine!

And then I stopped to buy some sweets.
The lad who served them had such charm, I talked with him.
He said to me; "It's nice to talk to folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."

Oh God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two eyes...the world is mine!

Then, walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes so blue.
He stood and watched the others play;
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I stopped for a moment, then I said, "Why don't you join the others dear?"
He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew he could not hear.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two ears...the world is mine!

With feet to take me where I'd go,
With eyes to see the sunset's glow'
With ears to hear what I would know,

Oh God, forgive me when I whine;
I'm blessed indeed! The world is mine!

                               (Anon.)

girish

    In a few months 
    I have loved a lifetime.
    You are so dear to me,
    I can't imagine a life without you.
    
    Through it all I have loved you so
    More than you will ever know.
    Your face has filled a thousand dreams
    And that is all they will fill or so it seems...
    
    For we are so far apart
    That my heart tears apart
    at the thought of a day without you
    Is like a morning without dew
    upon the grass under foot
    Is how special your heart has taken root
    
    I have never loved like this
    nor do I think I will again
    for no one I ever meet
    will be as a lover and a friend
    as you have been to me through the months
    That seem like I have loved you for a lifetime....
    
    
    
    
    
                             Anon.
    

    There is no time for us.
    There is no place fo us.
    Our hearts meet each other
    but we never will.
    
    The sadness I feel cripples me
    and yet I know I should set you free
    To love another and love again
    and to have them as your friend
    
    But this ache in my heart 
    doesn't die, but slowly opens me up inside
    to kow how much you mean to me
    would be to fill a vacant city
    
    My heart, a ghost town
    of remembered feelings of days gone by
    and all the bonds that tie you and I
    And yet I know in my heart I can't say good-bye.
    
    
    
                       Anon.
    

    				UNTITLED
    
    
 		No sun shines on my cloudy days.
    		My world has turned dark and gray.
    		Thoughts of you in my mind stay
    		  even though we had to part.
    
    		I remember the things that I miss
    		Your arms around me and your soft kiss
    		Sending me into eternal bliss
    		  and capturing my heart.
    
    		I wish for wishes that won't come true
    		For a chance to spend some time with you
    		And sharing things that we never knew;
    		  we never had a chance to start.
    
    		And now I'm supposed to say good-bye
    		To all these feelings I hold deep inside
    		And hope someday I will get by
    		  and slowy mend my hurting heart.
    
    
					Dawnne T. Santos
    

    			THOUGHTS OF YOU
    
    
    		Sometimes, most of the time,
    		 no matter what I am doing,
    		     or how busy I am
    		   my thougts turn to you.
    
    		I wonder what you are doing,
    		     if you are well,
    		 and I wonder if you still
    		     think about me
    		the way I think about you.
    
    		I know your life right now
    		   may be filled with pain,
    		And sometimes you feel
    		      dissatisfied
    		  because things have not
    		       turned out
    		 the way you had planned. 
    
    		I want to tell you I miss you;
    		I miss your smile, your laugh,
    			your voice.
    		I miss not being able to talk to
    		 you as often as we used to.
    
    		But I will be patient
    		  and try to accept things
    			the way they are;
    		And hope that once again
    		  you will come back into my life.
    
    
    
    
    					Dawnne T. Santos
    

    
    Before you read this some things I want to say, prehaps in
    explaination.  Depression and gloom seems to be hitting a lot of us 
    lately.  For various reasons, we seem to be all dealing with problems
    and losing sight of some things... at least it seems that way to me.
    
    This is a realitively new piece for me, and I'm working it over as I 
    write it, chances are I'll delete it and repost it later on.  But for
    now it says what needs to be said.  
    
    Keep in mind folks, that life is built on depression with litter
    glimmers of light and hope... only if we choose to see it that way.
    
    I've been down the dark tunnels, and believe me, there's always been 
    light at the other end.  And in the few cases that their wasn't, I've 
    always been able to turn around and go back the way I came.  So hang on
    tight, and don't let the weight press you down beyond your limits. 
    It's too hard to stand back up when you do...
    
    Meanwhile, keep in mind, no matter how bad it gets, it could be worse.
    You could REALLY be alone to deal with it...
    
    Skip
        
    I don't understand it,
    Really I mean...
    When the world gets dark
    We isolate ourselves
    And convince ourselves
    That no one is there 
    No one cares
    No one shares
    No one dares.
    
    But when I look about
    I see in the dark,
    A billion stars
    Like sugar on velvet
    And I hear the voices
    "Can I help..
    "If you need...
    "Let me give...
    "I'm here if...
    
    I think somehow, 
    When we hurt we go blind
    And the stars though still burning
    Need to reach through the blindness.
    Touch the small ember
    That nearly burns dead
    And give it new life
    After all the stars are suns
    And if they choose to
    Can give us great warmth.
    
    

Dear All,

The major cities in U.S.A. are witnessing riots.  I like to share the attached
with you.  This was sent to me by our dear friend, Tracie Baker, some time ago.

Girish


    The People fight before they talk
    The people see colours        
    The people see barriers, that arn't really there
    The imagination controls      
                                  
    People say they hate, without really knowing
    Because of the Race, because of their skin
    People don't have faith anymore
    They act with revenge that they've never known
    They act as if it were a sin  
                                  
    If only everyone was blind    
    If only the sounds of their voices the same
    Would be different if colours were not seen
    
    
    I think so!
    
    (received one day from Tracie Baker)                              
                                  

    
    some great poetry Lil'A there....
    
    
   	       Way Eagles Soar
               ---------------

	The thought of how eagles soar
	High above pretty lands below
	Up in those cushions of breeze
	Just gliding over rocky storms
	Far into and outta dusty clouds
	The fog, the mist & rainy dews

	Wonder if they have any fear though
	Of winds zat lead into the unknowns
	Of storms zat churn & whirl up so
	Of dreams that always remain untrue
	Of minds that stray ever often so
	Over innocent faces and eyes around  

	But then do they ever tire too
	Do they ever lay down and rest too
	As we human mortals down here do
	What is it that keeps them flying so
	Maybe 'tis an untamed restless passion
	To see and know the world around

	But mebbe he is tired too, wishing
	That he were on them far yonder lands
	The grass across your fence always
	Looks much greener they say
	'Tis better ya live it through
	The calms & storms of life that unfurl so 
	Smile and get all around ya to smile.
	In that there is peace & there is bliss.

    
 :-)
05/01/92.
Sush.

    
    Talking of cats.....i could locate one sent in by my sis sometime back
    about her lost kitten.
    
    Lost Kitten
    -----------
    
    I had a kitten that once wandered away,
    I know not when or where,
    She just seemed to have bid me goodbye,
    Left me so lonesome & so forlorn,
    
    I do remember to fill her milk tray,
    Each morning before i am on my way,
    Forgetting that she wouldn't be there,
    Habits die hard they say,
    
    My dreams are strange and bizzare,
    I think and weep of what became of her,
    Thoughts of my little Kitty straying there,
    In that crazy maddened world out there,
    
    In that bedlam of screeching traffic,
    A jarring horn would have her scuttering,
    Into precincts of pavements along a street,
    Or the shadows of bushes & terns on the way,
    
    Was she stalking away from a scary dog,
    Or weeping her way 'cos she's so lost,
    I just can't sleep, no not anymore,
    Until i know she's safe somewhere.
    
    Suz,
    Nov'91.

    
    		THE UNSEEN
    		----------
    					Betty W. Stoffel
    
    Envy not the gracious gown
    That seems so gaily worn
    For oft beneath a velvet cloak
    Are burdens bravely borne.
    
    Envy not another's art
    Of calm apparent grace
    For oft there hides a heavy heart
    Behind a smiling face.
    
    Envy not the blessings spread
    In measures heaping up
    For some who seem with bounty fed
    Must drink a better cup.
    
    Envy not the liberty
    That life unfettered brings
    For some who seem most grandly free
    Are slaves to cruel things.

    
    			FRIENDSHIP
    			----------
    
    	Friendship is a lovely flower
    	I knew once but know no more
    	Since the day you left the bower
    	To take your place in life's vast moor.
    
    	You spoke to me of pain and joy
    	And helped me on my way
    	But now, today I know no longer
    	The loving sweetness of that day.
    
    	Pages in my diary have faded
    	And as my memory grows dim with pain
    	I still can't forget your loving kindness
    	You spoke about, but from actions refrained.
    
    	Now as the days pass slowly by,
    	I softly say while gazing above
    	Lord above look after my dearest
    	And shower her with your gracious love!

    All 4 of these poems I feel are some what appropriate right now !!
    
                                A friend is a friend
                   
                   
                   
                 
                   A friend is a friend, when in an hour of need
                   Need ask no questions, nor tell no lies.
                   A friend is a friend, when in an hour of need
                   Needs not ask as to what has made those sad 
                   eyes.
                   
                   A friend is a friend who will stick by you, 
                   even when you're wrong.  A friend is a friend 
                   who will allways be around, no question of how 
                   long.
                   
                   A friend is a friend, to a person like 
                   yourself,because you knew you could call.
                   A friend is me, as is yourself together we'll 
                   conquer all.
                   
    				-< "Colours" >-
    
    
    		The People fight before they talk
    		The people see colours    
    		The people see barriers, that arn't really there
    		The imagination controls      
                                      
    		People say they hate, without really knowing
        	Because of the Race, because of their skin
        	People don't have faith anymore
        	They act with revenge that they've never known
        	They act as if it were a sin  
                                      
        	If only everyone was blind    
        	If only the sounds of their voices the same
        	Would be different if colours were not seen
        
        
        	I think so!
        
    
    		Tracie , sometime in 90
                                      

				-< "Heart of Glass" >-


		The Picture of feelings so blue
    		The world so white, but nothing right
    		I need to see you, as you see into me
    		My eyes are my inlet for passion and pain
    		They both pour into me as if they were rain
    
    		Through my glass heart I feel
    		The storms of the night
    		The window you look through has been broken
    		The glass has shattered me 
    		The emotions are flooding me once again.
    


				"The Inner me"


		The howling of the wind makes me feel sad,
		it makes me think of that lonely wolfe,
		the one without his pack.

		The snow that falls makes me feel gentle,
		like tears of laughter
		rolling through my soul.

		The rain when it thrashes against my window pane
		reminds	me of the anger that can -
		tear around within

		BUT when the sun doth shine it's like the birth		
		of a new bairn, my soul cries ,my anger dies,
		and this emotion takes over, a feeling of pride
		like that of a new mother 
		with a tender,protective look in her eyes!! 
 		
		Tracie Baker 22-2-92


				"The Messenger"


		The message in this poem is dedicated to you
		for the love and understanding you've given 
		through and through.

		May the good lord above, serve you your just deserts
		may he be my messanger of Love.

		You have showed me understanding, and patience 
		to the hilt, you have given me your friendly ear
		when it's been needed most.

		You were there for me, when my mouth was turning down
		you made me laugh you may me smile to upset that lurking 
		frown.

		I wish I could give you so many precious things, but I 
		honestly believe, God already gave you everything.
		he gave you understanding to share with those who care
		he also gave belief instead of dispair.

		You to me are everything, your needed and your cherished,
		with a friend like you, my spirits high and I know I 
		can challenge anything. 

		I will achieve the things I dream off, if not for me for
 		you...as your dreams are my dreams and I would never let 
		you down...just be a little patient with me and later on 
		in life, be ready for recieving my most precious gift of life
		
		for later on you'll see my dear your generosity returned,
		just open up your heart my dear and find a lesson 
		learned! 


		Dedicated to my Best Friend

		Tracie Baker 23/02/92
		

				fairwell


		Fairwell my friends that time has come for you to go
 		don't be sad, it's not all bad, as many doors will open

		Fairwells are only temporary, as we'll soon meet again
		no date no time specified, but be sure we will know when!

		You'll always be thought of dearly, and be missed so very 
		much and may all your hopes and dreams be realised and may 
		you always stay in touch.

		You've touched our hearts so deeply , with your footprint 
		full of memories that will never fade, you've brought much 
		joy and laughter and in life you will be re-paid.

		take care in all your travels, our prayers will follow 
		you where ever you go, you're thought of very dearly , 
		more than you'll ever know.
	
		So keep that chin up high, passing all lifes worries by, 
		with the friends you'll have we'll carry you, so you'll 
		never be alone, no matter where you rome!!

		Tracie Baker 24/3/92
    

                                ME
    
                    I may not be perfect;
                        not have perfect hair
                              or perfect eyes
                                 perfect teeth
                            or a perfect dispostion.
    
                    But I do have one perfection--
                              
                                  I am perfectly me.
    
    
                                                  J. Morrissey

Inspired by Dawnne's poem on Perfect..here is something which I had put in
Friends a while ago.

giri



                   		  ACCEPTANCE
    
    		   accept the you
    		   that you are
    		   because God accepts it,
    		   God respects it,
    		   and you
    		   have not respected
    		   your being yet.
    		   It is very rare
    		   to find a person
    		   who respects himself/herself.
    		   
    		   why is it so rare?
    
    		   - because
    
    		   you have been
    		   taught to imitate.
    		   From the very childhood
    		   you have
    		   always been taught
    		   to be somebodyelse.
    		   Nobody has told you :
    		   be yourself,
    		   and be respected
    		   to your being -
    		   it is God's gift.
    		   Never imitate -
    		   that's what I say to you
    		   Never imitate.
    
    		   Be yourself -
    		   that much you owe to God.


			Rajneeshji

    I am in a mood for sharing....so I wish to share the following with you
    ... a friend sent it to me..he know's who he is !
    
    Dream what you want to dream.
    	Go where you want to go,
    		be with you you want to be...
    			But remember to enjoy
    	every step of life's journey.
    		It's easy to become
    			so focused on a goal
    	that the rest of life
    		passes unnoticed...
    			even unappreciated.
    It's important to remember
    		that the essence of each day
    			is unique and fleeting.
    Minutes are grains of sand
    		that slip all too quickly
    			through our fingers,
    				leaving only memories.
    
    
    unkown author
    
    Tracie.
    

    When times are tough and life is heavy
    A burden on my shoulders
    
    Pressing down down upon me
    As if I held a boulder
    
    I think of birds and featherd wings
    Balloons and clouds and other things
    
    Of trees and leaves and sunny days
    Of times I laughed and times I'd play
    
    Yesterday peels off me then
    Like an onion sheds it's skin
    
    And today's problems aren't half so bad
    In fact they seem quit thin
    
    I think of hopes and dreams up high
    Of chrystal light and sometimes sigh

    For I think it must be a disgrace
    To take just glance by as I race

    And these are chisels on the boulder
    Chipping it in flakes and rubble

    Beneath the rock my dreams are free
    To float away in a crystal bubble 
    
Skip

    Gray woolin blankets cover the sky
       trying to cover me as well.
    
     I shout my challenge at them,
       let me become one with them...
    
    Let me...
       Roar with the thunder,
         Leap with the lightning
           And even dance on the storm!
    
    Let them lift my spirit, hurling me through 
       the dimensions of time and space...
    
    Let them take me from my past, 
       and show me the dreams of tomorrow
         
    So I can realize my full potential 
       and know how much power I truly have!
	  Over both the world and myself...
    
    For I alone can make the sun shine
       or leave it to lie forever covered 
          by the murky gray wool of the clouds.    
          
    				Skip
    				September 1988
    
    				Dedicated to everyone who has felt the
    				pain more then once in there life and
    				managed to find the strength to go on
    				in spite of it.
    

Though we might enjoy
Seeing Helen of troy
As a gay cabret entertainer
I doubt that she could
Be one quarter as good
As our lovely legendary Marlene.



Noel Coward on Marlene Dietrich

    It's not really a poem as such, but it's what Kira wrote up, decorated,
    and gave to me for Mother's Day....
    
    
    My Mother...
    
    is special because
    she's sweet and kind.
    She's very protective...
    and she is very pretty
    as herself!  She is
    there when I need her.
    She's the best mom in
    the world!
    
    *blush* *sniffle*

    Here is the verse that Lola dedicated to me in another conference. 
    Seeing as how this is ::FRIENDS, I thought it appropriate to enter it
    in here.
    
    Sweetpea
    
    
    
Not a poem, but definitely poetic...this especially made me think of Sweetpea!

                         What is a Friend?

What is a friend?  I will tell you.  It is a person with whom you dare to
be yourself. Your soul can be naked with him.  He seems to ask of you to put
on nothing, only to be what you are.  He does not want you to be better or
worse.  When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been
declared innocent.  You do not have to be on your guard.  You can say what you
think, so long as it is genuinely you.  He understands those contradictions 
in your nature that causes others to misjudge you.  With him you breathe freely.
You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your
meanness and absurdities and, in opening them up to him, they are lost, disolved
on the white oceans of his loyalty.  He understands.  You do not have to be 
careful.  You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him.  Best of all, you can 
keep still with him.  It makes no matter.  He likes you - he is the fire that
purges you to the bone.  He understands.  He understands.  You can weep with
him, sing with him, laugh wiht him, pray wiht him.  Through it all - and 
underneath - he sees, knows and loves you.  A friend?  What is a friend?  Just
one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself. 

                                                         -C. Raymond Beran
            

    There are times when I'm all alone,
       and all I can think about is you.
    There are times when I am with
       other people, and still
         all I think about is you.
    I wonder why I feel this way.
    How did it happen so quickly?
    And how can I forget if I don't
            really want to?
    
    When I close my eyes to go to sleep,
       instead of seeing darkness,
          I see you and the gentle
       way your eyes look into mine.
    
    I see the way you held me and kissed me,
        and wish it didn't have to stop.
    I wish things could have been different
                   for us.
    I wish we could have had the chance to
       know each other, to explore each other,
             to be with each other,
        because something tells me we'd be
                right for each other.
    
    I know it was me who said we could not do this.
       We could not fall in love.....
                 because I was afraid.
    And now I am afraid I missed that chance....
    The chance of finding one true life-long love.
    And I may never truely be hapy now, on the inside,
        although I can always get people to think
              I am happy, on the outside.
    But I made the decision that now I have to stick with.
    One that has kept us from becoming something beautiful;
      but one that has kept him from becoming ugly.
    
    
    
                                              Dawnne T. Santos
                                              (Sunshine)
    

    To those of you who don't know the reason why I was so sad
    yesterday...the poem I am about to write in here, will maybe explain a
    little ! thanks to all those that helped me through yesterday,...it was
    a very painful day !
    
    
    				Our Time/Lost time
    
    
    I turned away to soon, If only to rewind
    to go back to those days , 
    to make you change your mind.
    If only you really knew me, 
    If only you had made time, instead
    I told you dalring, you wern't meant to
    be mine.
    
    I see you now, you're smiling,
    did I do so wrong.
    Should I have understoood you 
    and tried to prolong - my leaving
    was to soon, that I now know, 
    but I had to be impatient 
    and instead I let you go.
    
    Now 1 year later , your heart belongs to one
    of fairer face, someone that understands your
    needs and gives you your desired space.
    
    I am sorry if I hurt you,
    now I feel regret, i wish I could
    be with you now , but now is too late!
    
    The thoughts I hold of you
    are pleasant in my dreams, If only I knew 
    how to make them real again, and show you
    what LOVE means.
    
    
    Tracie Baker 14/5/92
    space
    

    Take me away,
       to a place so far from here.
       and keep me safe beside you
            in my dreams.
    The days won't seem so cold,
       the nights won't seem so long,
       because I can find happiness 
            in your arms.
    
    
                             Dawnne T. Santos
                               (Sunshine)

    		It seems like such a long time ago
    		   that I saw you,
    		   that you held me in your arms,
    		    and that you kissed me
                         for the first time.
    
    		It seems like such a long time ago
    		   that you bared your soul to me,
    		   and that I bared my soul
                         to you.
    
    		It seems like such a long time ago
    		   since I last saw you smile,
    		   and your eyes gazing tenderly
                         into mine.
    
    		And yet it hasn't been long at all.
    		Maybe that is why I can't seem to get you
                          out of my mind.
    
    
                                                Dawnne T. Santos
                                                 (Sunshine)
                                   

    
    
    
    I cry in my sleep sometimes.
    For a reason that I don't even know.
    And I wake up in the middle of the night
       but I don't know why.
    There must be something missing
       somewhere withing my heart.
    Something that I am looking for,
       knowing I can not give up what I have.
    
    
    
                            Dawnne T. Santos
                             (Sunshine)
    

Close your eyes. What do you see?
Let it be, only me.
Take me in your every little dream.
When all has failed,
I will be the one to turn to.
 
Call me when there's no way out.
Or as your troubles start to mount.
Don't let there ever be any doubt,
That you can always count,
That I'll be here.
 
I'll be the one that you can lean on,
So don't you ever be afraid.
Just close your eyes and think of,
This promise that I've made,
Remember, I will always be the one.
 
I'm your lighthouse,
In a storm.
I'm the one,
When you need a heart that's warm,
I'll always be that place that you can come,
Remember, I will be the one that,
You can always count on,
I will always be the one.
 
Close your eyes. What do you see? 
Let it be, only me.                          
Take me in your every little dream.                                
When all has failed,                          
I will be the one that.                   
You can always count on.
I will always be the one.
    
    -- Kristy

    
I should never have let
Myself fall for you.
But the heart can make the mind
Believe things that aren't true.

When it comes to good sense,
Emotions can overrule.
What I said with meaning,
Meant something else to you.

Was it my imagination,
Or the look in your eyes?
What I thought was love
Was infatuation in disguise.

I thought you'd stay here,
But much to my surprise,
I was fooled by imagination,
And the look in your eyes.

I shouldn't have been so fast
At giving my heart away.
I guess this is the last
Act in this short-lived play.

I don't have the answers,
I don't have the regrets.
Time is what matters,
And not enough time's passed yet.

Friends tried to tell me,
They warned me in advance.
But a starry eyed lover,
Walks in a trance.

    -- Kristy

    "See you at sunset,"
    You said with a smile,
    Although we were distanced
    By time and by miles.

    I sit atop a hillside,
    I still hear your voice.
    The wind calls to me, softly,
    It leaves me no choice.

    Being so far from you
    Fading sunlight on my face,
    My dreams soar away
    To a distant place.
    Will we ever know true happiness?
    
    Will we ever be as one?
    The dawn brings a new day,
    With love to be won.
    I'll be by your side
    Before this day is done.

    I know in my soul
    That my feelings are true.
    The caressing whispers
    Of your voice seem so new.

    "See you at sunset,"
    I whisper to you, my love,
    I will fly to your side
    On the wings of a dove.

    -- Kristy

    		I know it is my fault,
    		  the things that I have done.
    		I know I hurt you, as I have
      		  never meant to do,
                    and I have been regreting that
                      for a long time now.
    		You probably think I don't care
                          anymore,
    		   but you'll never know how much
    			I really do.
    		I could make things better for myself,
    		  I know, by doing what *I* want to do,
    		       and not letting another
                             control me.
    		But it isn't as easy as it sounds.
    		When it seems that things have always
                       been the way they are,
    		     how do you find the courage
                            to break away
    		     and think about yourself for a change?
    		Feeling so lost, lonely and confused
    		   that all you want to do is find a place
                        by yourself where you can hide,
    		     so you can try to forget everything.
    		  And maybe all that pain that has been
    	                 eating you up inside
                         will subside in time.
    		But how do you hide from your heart
      			  and your memories?
    
    
    
    
                                          Dawnne T. Santos
                                          (Sunshine)

		Ma Nature
                ---------
	Just as the Mayflower blooms
	On long tiny stalks amidst the green
	A vivid yellow that drew the birds & bees
	A Gentle breeze that blew all through hither
	Carried the sweet scent of Spring & its splendour

	The barren stem and twigs on trees
	Soon get draped in shades of green
	The brook that lay frozen and cold 
	Sprung back to life a quick strong flow  

	Birds that chirp chattering away
	Get busier and wander that bit further
	Basking in the sunshine and glow out yonder
	A lakeside inn that lay so quiet and deserted
	Now has a smoking chimney and people who do smile

	All this cheer and this warmth around
	Between chores that keep us so preoccupied
	Hoping to find time to look,listen,smell & taste
	A Sunlit world, chirping birds, flowers and nectar   
	Thanking nature for all these miriad acts of wonder.

   o-	
  []
 '
  Sush.

Here I am,
  by myself,
    alone again,
While he's off
  doing what he wants,
    when he wants.
He doesn't seem to care
  about me
    and if he does,
    he rarely shows it.
And I sit here,
  by myself,
  alone,
   thinking of you,
     and wishing I could be
              with you.

Even though I've been with him
   for so long,
   he doesn't know me
      like you do.
He doesn't seem to care
   about my feelings,
   or what I want,
   who I am,
   and what I am going through.
How can he be so blind to my pain,
   when I know it can show so clealy
    in my eyes,
      even though I try to hide it.
And yet you seem to know,
   maybe because sometimes
    I can't hide my vulnerability
              from you.
But that is fine,
   because I know you won't abuse it
          the way he has.

I'm hanging on,
   to what I don't know.
And I'm afraid because I don't know
   how much longer I can take the pain
     and all this hurt that eats me up
        inside every day.
Someday I may go crazy,
   from struggling with myself.
But maybe someday
   I won't be around
     to suffer anymore.

Here I am,
  by myself,
     alone.
And I wonder if I'll
  ever be able to
     set myself free.






                          Dawnne T. Santos
                           (Sunshine)            

I sit and stare out the window
  hoping the sun will shine soon
Remnants of a spring rain trickle down the glass
  like the tears slipping down my face

I see the image of your face
  in the misty morning dew
Smiling that sweet, warm smile
  will you smile that smile for me?

Your eyes the colour of the bluest skies
  your touch as gentle as a soft summer breeze
Your words, so tender and caring
  will you speak those words to me?

With you, my world begins and ends
  I feel happiness blossoming inside me
Like the newness and freshness of spring
  after a long, harsh winter of sorrow

Your laughter is the most beautiful of music
  your presence, calming and protective
Tranquil and secure, I walk by your side
  hoping beyond hope that you'll see me there

 -- Kristy (6/8/92)

Whisper my name
  with love, with sincerity
You're forever in my soul
  wrapped warm in my heart

Call to me in the night
  with love, with need
I'll be there to hold you
  And dawn will come again

Take me in your arms
  with love, with tenderness
Our spirits entwined
  in dreams and beyond

Care for me
  with love, with passion
If we open our hearts
  We'll mend each other's scars

Hold me forever
  with love, with caring
The light of my love for you
  will pierce every darkness

    -- Kristy (6/8/92)

I wonder how this happened
  when it all began
How could something feel so right
  but be wrong?

My heart feels like bursting
  it aches to be yours
Hoping there will come a time
  that you will be mine

I need you like never before
  to love you, to please you
Your smile and touch warm me
  beyond words, beyond time
    
    -- Kristy (6/8/92)

    These poems were written during a very dark time in my life as I am
    sure you will see:
    
    Your smile no longer lights my life,
    the darkness prevails,
    I have lost the will to fight,
    don't even care anymore.
    I go on day to day,
    the despair ripping through my soul,
    the pain stays with me,
    never leaving,
    the agony so great,
    I can not feel you anymore.
    
    **************************************************************************
    I live my life in silent despair,
    the tears always brimming,
    refusing to fall,
    you have left me on my own,
    took you toys and went home.
    Did you eer stop to think
    of the pain you instilled,
    of the helplessness I feel day after day.
    
    ~Linda~

    
    On a Brighter vein....
    
    You came into my life,
    one by one,
    I know not your faces,
    just your names.
    You opened your arms and your hearts,
    welcomed me to your circle of Friends.
    You words delight me,
    tantalize and enlighten me.
    Your warmth shows through 
    the darkness
    and I see the light,
    can feel its warmth upon my face.
    I look forward each day,
    to seeing my new friends,
    to know I am cared for,
    and wanted here.
    You have brought sunshine into my life,
    making each new day a delight!!
    
    

    I turn,
    I start to walk away,
    your presence makes me stop,
    turn your way,
    look back and want to stay.
    I firmly turn again,
    bags in hand.
    I am walking away,
    I'm leaving,
    I'm leaving the hurt pain and anger.
    I am saying goodbye to the tears and the guilt.
    I know I must never look back,
    yet your eyes burn my skin,
    your voice only a whisper echoes in my heart.
    I can no look back,
    for I know,your smile,
    sparkling eyes and boysih grin,
    will draw me back,
    back into your trap.
    Your spell spoken,
    your power strong.
    I shall not look bcak,
    I will go,
    my strength showing,
    my will all but gone.
    Goodbye my love,
    so long.
    You are part of me,
    you own a space in my heart.
    Forget you?
    I only wish I could.

It was hard seeing you again,
   after such a long time of
        being away from you.
I suppose I thought that if I
        didn't see you,
  I could forget you, and all
   that you had meant to me.
But I don't want to forget;
  I want to remember everything.
I want to remember the way your eyes
       looked into mine, 
  the way you smiled at me, and the
     way you said my name.
I want to remember how your arms
       held me so tight,
  and how your gentle lips
          caressed mine.

All those feelings came back to 
  me in a rush, confusing me,
   but comforting me
    because I know that you still care.


                               Dawnne T. Santos
		                (Sunshine)

 This was from a pretty down time in my life,  ...
 Things are MUCH better now, .. I'll post a more up beat one some day ... 

paul
********************************************************************************
                          hearts of youth 

    hearts broken, so many times,
    pieces lost, forever like mine.
    memories hold like glue to glass
    and I hold on to the past

    shattered hearts of glass so fragile
    we carefully craft, back together.
    Each time the pieces deminish in size
    and more become lost, forever in time.

    each time the memories fill,
    the sections lost in time until
    we are only memories and heartless and cruel,
    and lost forever, our hearts of youth

    damned retched bewildered and broken
    old and lost, words of love unspoken
    hell on earth and blackness of life
    desist me now, unleash my strife

    useless is life and everything else,
    without love and hearts of youth
    age has no beauty when inside its toll
    has taken the life, you now behold

    replacement, theres none,
    years have gone,
    and taken me
    and my love
    and my heart
    and my life
    and left me
    alone,
    to die

    
    First I will submit a really intense poem that I wrote and then I will
    submit one that I wrote for my dad.
    
    Lies,
    every word you spoke,
    hateful,
    disgusting lies,
    f**k it.
    
    Anger,
    ripping through my soul,
    leaving behind
    shattered dreams,
    drop dead.
    
    Hurt,
    racking my body,
    every waking moment,
    destroying my faith 
    in love
    scr*ew it.
    
    Fear,
    spreading in my heart,
    leaving me breathless,
    anxeity taking over
    leaving me spent
    F**k it.
    
    Hatred,
    consuming me,
    raging mad,
    seeing red
    disgusting
    I loathe you.
    
    Dreams,
    shattered,
    laying at my feet,
    quivering useless
    broken hearted,
    I weep.

    
    I wrote this for my dad 2 xmas's ago.
    
    I was standing there on the 18th hole,
    ready to go, the final blow,
    after a day of double and triple bogies,
    sand traps and trees,
    I have never seen a score so high,
    nor was I ever feeling so low.
    I took my spot at the tee,
    wiggled around a little you see,
    poised and ready to go,
    I started my swing and hit that ball,
    dead on.....
    and did it go and go....
    Up over the trees,
    past the sand traps,
    and gone, gone it went....
    much to my surprised eyes,
    it landed right in that hole.
    I was living the golfers dream,
    and I was shouting and screaming,
    and crying you see...
    I was hooping and hollering,
    dancing and prancing.
    There was so much noise and confusion that,
    I never did hear that small four letter word...
    FORE
    The doctor's are hopeful and the nurse's so kind,
    golfing again they do not advise.
    

I love the way you love me
 with your eyes and your touch
Your tender words embrace me
 keeping me safe and warm

I never have to hide my feelings
 you know me so very well
Your thoughts are as my thoughts
 with you, I have no doubts

When I'm frightened or worried
 you hold me close and reassure me
You bring out the very best in me
 my life is bleak without you

The time we spend together
 is like a soothing rain after a drought
You wash away my pain and my sorrow
 and fill my heart and soul with love

	-- Kristy (6/16/92)

	<Untitled>

	This Life is full of numbness and pain
	Of haltingness and Short-comings
	Of promises unfulfilled, of everything
	That is lost treasures and empty talk    
	Its every bud hangs writhing from the stalk
	Its everyseason not indeed like Spring
	Like a song-bird who trails a broken wing
	Travelling with tottering steps at first
    	Into the next stage of this storm around 
    	Knowing not what next but hope keeps me on
	I need to nestle down beneath my shaded tree
	And drop to sleep, beside this rippled spring.
    

Sush.
1/26/92

    This poem was written in 1989 for a friend that died at the age of 31
    from a heart attack.
    
    Good bye my friend...
    
    It's been a long time since I last saw you,
    I still remember your face as if it was yesterday.
    I remember our past
    our lives intermingling
    and each of us growing
    in our seperate ways.
    I remember hanging out with you
    and wishing the summers would never end.
    Each year you grew and I did too,
    we each went down our own paths.
    I remember meeting up with you now and then.
    We would laugh and joke and remember our youth.
    We would remember when the world was a happy place,
    and we had only to play and hang out all day.
    I watched you being tormented becuase the color of your skin.
    Some people could hardly believe that you and I were friends.
    I never saw what they did,
    I only saw in you, a friend.
    I am going to miss you my dear friend.
    Now you are gone,
    taken from this life so young,
    with so much more to live for,
    so much more...
    This is my good bye to you.
    My tribute to your life and the memories that I hold.
    Rest well my friend,
    until we meet again...
    
    Good bye

    
    
    He was charming and sincere,
      caring, sensitive, and kind.
    I liked the way he listened to me;
      I liked his straight forward ways.
    
    (What is happening to us?)
    
    The words ring in my ears...
    I hear his voice, I feel his
       arms embrace me,
     I feel his lips on mine
       and I'm dreaming again.
    I'm remembering the way he 
       called me Sunshine.
    I guess I brightened up his life.
    I hope I haven't darkened it.
    
    (Will I have a chance to be alone with you?)
    
    I wish I could see him,
     have a chance to be with him,
      and get to know him better
    because I like what I already know.
    
    (Are you happy?)
    
    I miss him.
    I am still confused and sometimes
      really sad, wishing things
         would be different,
      wondering about him,
      and what I am missing.
    
    (I guess I'll start dating again.)
    
    I won't be jealous if he finds
      someone new to be with.
    I just wish it could be me...
    I wish I could be that 
        special person.
    
    
          			Dawnne T. Santos
             
    

 I wrote this almost 5 years ago, .. because of a certain situation ...





   existing, barely
   yet still alive
   this heart now finds
   it cant survive

   this single soul,
   and single heart
   now must be, torn apart

   away somewhere
   there's a dying soul
   who lies waiting,
   for a half, to be whole

   only one can survive
   one half must die
   one half must choose
   which one, and why

                         pmd  '87'

    I wrote this poem a couple of years ago when I did a walkathon for the
    March of Dimes..
    
    I am walking today,
    for those who can not,
    for the children 
    who struggle every moment,
    who need the more love
    than most.
    I am walking for the child,
    who may never see a sunset,
    may never hear their parents voice,
    who may never take their first step.
    I am walking today,
    for myself,
    for all of us,
    who take for granted,
    how precious life can be.
    I am walking today,
    in the hope 
    that someday,
    children won't know pai.

All I Really Need is Love

It seems as if things will never change...
I feel that I will always be lonely, 
  always be by myself...
    even though I am with him.

He forgets about me because of his own desires.
All he sees is what he wants.
I am a simple person;
  I don't need much to keep me happy.
I need love, companionship, friendship.
I need to be held and cuddled.
When I am sad, I long for a shoulder to cry on,
    and arms to hold me tight.
When I am happy or excited,
  I long for an ear to listen, to be
         excited too.

It would be so nice to go for a walk with someone
   who holds my hand, who looks at me with love
             in his eyes.
Someone to smile at me, to joke and laugh with me.

I am a simple person...
All I really need is love.



                        Dawnne T. Santos

    
    
Darkness surrounds my world,
  the sun has sunk behind the clouds
    and taken my heart with it.

The long, lonely night calls to me,
   an erie, hollow voice that
         cries my name.

I am trying to block out the sounds
  of nothingness -
        trying to remember the light
     that comes with the day.

Dark visions enter my mind,
  demons beckoning to me;

Come here, be still upon
  this lifeless shadow in your mind
    and let your body float into
           eternity.

And I let it take me.



                       Dawnne T. Santos

    It doesn't have to be this way,
    you there, me here,
    each pretending we don't care.
    It really would not be too hard to admit,
    we miss each other, even a little bit.
    I hear your laughter in the breeze,
    I think of days gone by,
    when you and I were as one,
    when love filled our lives,
    happiness surrounded us.
    When did it end?
    When did we stop trying.
    I know the love is there,
    buried beneath the anger,
    fustration, tears and
    the bitter words.
    I know it is there,
    I wish you could see it too.
    It really doesn't have to be this way.

    It's alright....
    I understand.
    I know why you choose to
      ignore me like you do.
    I suppose it is easier to do that,
      then to remember what we never had.
    
    Yes, it hurts, but I've been hurt before,
       and I'll be hurt again.
    In time I'll get over it.
    
    You go your way and I'll go mine.
    I have my memories....
       my sweet wonderful memories,
         which I will always cherish.
    
    I'll never think bad of you,
      because I only knew the good in you.
    And that is what I will keep in my
       heart forever....
    
    
				Sunshine
    
    
    

    The man I met today inspired me to write this.  This is my first
    attempt at poetry, so it may not be that great, but here goes:
    
    			 Eyes that sparkled when he saw me.
			     and a smile oh so bright.
			   listening with out speaking,
			       hugging oh so tight.

			  The feelings that I'm feeling,
			    I really don't know why.
			    I haven't even begun to,
			      really know this guy.

			  The time we spent together,
			   was oh so short and sweet.
			But the tenderness of the moment,
		          was such a wonderful treat!

			So please don't burst my bubble,
			'cause it gives me such a thrill.
		      Don't tell me to get off this cloud,
			  I don't think I ever will!


						 Sweetpea
						 6/26/92

    
    
    Just made this up in a hurry........after i heard a good friend 
    had a break-up in their relationship..............  
    
     Title-less                      :^)
     ----------
    
Dunno what's with relationships
All different kinds of them
Some family ones and some outside
But the strangest of them all
Surely is cupid and that thing called love
Wish i could define love out here!!

There is this loved one you long for
You crave for that love
You crave for that look
You crave for that touch
You crave for that thought
Its in the mind the body and the soul

Then you think you found that love
And all the things you been waiting for
Seem to happen all over again
You try & easen that pace you set
Only to be left with that craving for more

Looks like an other bright day around
And all the world is there for you to dare
You fight your likes and your dislikes
Just to get that much near
As close to that heart that would hear

All seems to be at peace and bliss around
The love, the look, the touch, the thought
The warmth, the dreams, and all, oh so real
The longing for those arms & lips that care
Seem to be an endless pause somewhere in there

Then those days of silence and the unknown
Of gestures that mean nothing no more
Of feelings that hurt that much more
Of tears that flow, a heart that bleeds
Of dreams, of things that could have been

Left wondering where yee went wrong
Prey, what took it all away from them
In the end you are left to swear
Thy love for a beloved shall never fade
Wish i could define love
The strangest thing of them all out here !!

:^)
Sush.

    
    
    She sat alone in her quite room,          
      her hurting heart beating too quickly,
        her lungs gasping for breath 
           but not getting enough.
    
    The sobs choked from her throat,
      the tears blinded her eyes, 
       her body a limp rag doll
          she could not move.
    
    It didn't seem to matter anymore
      what life held in store for her.
    She was too close to giving up,
       and even though she was afraid,
        she was making her peace 
              with it.
    
    Eventually, finally, the pain 
      would be gone.
    Her suffering over with,
      she will lay upon her bed
        and close her eyes,
      and let the eternal sleep
           overtake her.
    
    
    
                              Dawnne T. Santos
    

    Fade Away
    
    
    
    
    I can't remember happy times,
      though how I wish they'd stay.
    The days and months turn into years
      my memory fades away.
    The past appears unreal to me,
      or that is how it seems.
    Quickly my life has passed right by
      I've even lost my dreams.
    Those who meant a lot to me,
      I've forgotten them somehow.
    Things that used to make me smile
      mean nothing to me now.
    When I look back on my life
      to search for a happy day,
    I can't remember anything
      it's all so far away.
                           

    The wind whispers your name,
    I hear it all around me,
    tempting me,
    teasing me,
    lighting my flame,
    the desire so strong,
    my passion igniting,
    leaving me weak,
    with desire.
    I reach out for you,
    and your not there,
    only the wind whispering
    your name,
    remains.
    
    
    
    ~Linda~

    
    
    I wrote this when I first started to note in FRIENDS and another
    conference that I am active in....it was a time in my life that 
    I saw several of my friends leave due to marriage or them moving on....
    
    
        New Friends
        -----------
As I sit here mesmerized by thoughts and feeling
flashes of the past and present besieges
Old friendship that seem to last forever
have dwindle down to friends that have not been together.
In a world that seems to belong to computer freaks
lies new friends that I am destined to meet.
Old friendships have come and gone in my life
May these new friendship live forever in my heart.

    Your presencce,
    like a guiding light,
    warms me
    and make it right.
    
    You reached out your hand to me,
    let me grab on and hold.
    You led me safely from the storm
    sheltered me within your arms.
    
    You walk beside me every day,
    watching me stumble,
    always there when I fall,
    you pick me up, 
    dust me off 
    and hold me close till the tears stop.
    
    Your are my light in darkness,
    my sunshine every day.
    With you beside me,
    each step of the way,
    I know I will find happiness.
    
    ~Linda~

    Time
    ----
    
    Take time to work -
    	it is the price of success.
    
    Take time to think - 
    	it is the source of power.
    
    Take time to play -
    	it is the fountain of wisdom.
    
    Take time to be friendly -
    	it is the road to happiness.
    
    Take time to love and be loved -
    	it is nourishment for the soul.
    
    Take time to share -
    	it is too short a life to be selfish.
    
    Take time to laugh -
    	it is the music of the heart.
    
    Take time to dream -
    	it is hitching your wagon to a star.
    
    Take time to pray - 
    	it is the greatest power on Earth.
    
    Take time to love -
    	it is a God-given privilege.

    There's a miracle called Friendship
    That dwells within the heart;
    And you don't know how it happens
    Or when it gets to start...
    But the happiness it brings you
    Always gives a special lift;
    And you realise that friendship
    Is God's most precious gift.
    
    				Anonymous

    Me	
    --
    
    Regardless of what you think I should be,
    	I'm a separate being, a person, I'm me.
    
    Not just your friend not just a mother/father,
    	I don't and I cannot live just for another.
    
    The things that I want are so pitifully few,
    	It seems very little I'm asking of you.
    
    I want faith, respect, and a very small part of 
    	The love you must carry down deep in your heart.
    
    I don't want to be taken for granted or bossed;
    	I don't want my self-respect to be lost.
    
    Maybe I'm not all you'd like me to be,
    	But if you'd just open your heart, you could see.
    
    That just as I am, I feel I am worth,
    	The right to be me for my whole stay on Earth.
    
    					???? (don't know who wrote it) ????

    Thoughts to ponder
    ------------------
    
    People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered.
    	Love them anyway.
    
    If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish motives.
    	Do good anyway.
    
    If you are successful, you will win false friends and real enemies.
    	Try to be successful anyway.
    
    The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.
    	Do it anyway.
    
    Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
    	Be honest and frank anyway.
    
    People favor the underdorg, but they chum up to the top dog.
    	Fight for the underdog anyway.
    
    What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight.
    	Build anyway.
    
    Give the world the best you have and chances are you will get kicked in
    the teeth.
    	Give it anyway.
    
    --- E. T. Gurney, as quoted by Ann Landers, 5/13/83

    I Wish...
    ---------
    
    I wish
    that Santa was and
    that Satan wasn't
    
    I wish
    that little girls never grew up and
    that little boys always did
    
    I wish 
    that close and dishes washed themselves
    
    I wish
    that fathers were always strong and
    that mothers were always gentle
    
    I wish
    that animals and children were born trained
    
    I wish
    that rainbows lasted long enough for you to get home and
    take a picture of them and
    that the pot was on this end
    
    I wish
    that children were easier to raise than they apparently are and
    that dogs wiped their feet when they come in from outside
    
    I wish
    that all babies came with an owner's manual and batteries for the parents
    
    I wish 
    that rain only fell when you were at liberty to take the day off 
    to read a good book
    or watch an old black and white movie
    
    I wish
    that the projects I started (10 years ago) would finish themselves
    
    I wish
    that all grandmothers baked homemade cookies, owned stock
    in candy companies, and served hot cocoa with marshmallows in it
    
    I wish
    that mosquitoes died at birth and
    that special people lived forever
    
    I wish
    that I could see the silver lining
    while the cloud is still directly in my line of vision
    
    I wish
    that when God closes the door
    he could show me which window He opened
    
    I wish
    that dreams were reality and
    that reality was only a dream
    
    I wish
    that snow always fell on Christmas Eve and
    that it never fell on the streets and walkways
    
    I wish 
    there was joy without sorrow, 
    laughter without tears,
    happiness without pain
    
    I wish
    loving was easier than it is
    
    I wish
    that common sense was common and
    that nonsense was not
    
    I wish
    that God would physically seat Himself at my kitchen table
    when I have a problem and
    tell me just what to do
    
    I wish 
    clouds could be ridden
    
    I wish
    that every marriage was as good on its millionth day
    as it was on its first
    
    I wish
    that everyone lived happily ever after and
    that the Easter Bunny bought and delivered all that candy
    
    I wish
    that hugs and sunsets lasted longer and
    that kisses were always passionate
    
    I wish
    that artists could balance checkbooks and
    that engineers could write poetry
    
    I wish
    that men were less like Peter Pan and
    more like Prince Charming
    
    I wish
    that God could be contacted by phone and
    that you could call Him collect
    
    I wish
    that all the wishes
    of all the wishers
    could come true
    
    Cheryl Ann (Titus) Brodeur
    9 May 1989

    Copied without permission from a plaque that a friend gave to me this
    weekend.
    
    Why Me? (a poem for the "other handed" people)
    
    Sometimes when I rise to face the day
    In a world designed in a right hand way.
    I look in the mirror and say, "why me?"
    And the mirror says, "because you're special you see!"
    For though you may look funny when you try to write
    And using scissors is a left hander's plight,
    The benefits of being lefty are more than rumor ...
    You have mmore creativity, imagination and sense of humor.
    Amongst astronauts, artists, and musicians too
    You'll find lots of lefties just like you.
    Plus all the sports record book are repleate
    With the accomplishments of those with left hands and feet.
    (And it isn't just by accident
    That many lefties become President!)
    Thus the future is bright for people like you
    Whose minds will create things for righties to do;
    So the next time you're inclined to wonder why
    Remember you're in great demand, but limited supply!
    
    
    Oh, and BTW, our next president WILL be left handed!  ALL of the
    candidates are left handed!
    
    Holly
    

			I don't understand why it has to be,
			Why'd he pick her, instead of me?
			I thought by the feel of his gentle touch,
			that we'd be together, I wanted him so much!

			I waited two weeks for him to decide,
			If it would be me that walked by his side.
			But I didn't win in this situation,
			And maybe it was all just infatuation.

			Now my bubble is burst,
			And I'm feeling sad.
			I've come down from my cloud,
			I wish I never had.

						Sweetpea
						7/13/92

		Sat here on my lap,
		Washing herself, on my lap.
		Purring on my lap.
		Calico, cute as a button, nappin' on my lap,
		I just love this kitten trusting on my lap.

Richard.

    Disappear
    
    
    Every now and again I watch the part of me
     that loves and laughs and lives life to the fullest
    Just fade and fade and
     disappear
    
    
    
    annie

    The world revolves around the sun
    And after all the day is done
    Someone must put out the light
    I wonder if they feel the fright
    Of creating the realm of night
    And after all is done that way
    I wonder if they sleep or play?
    
    Skip

    I reached across the night,
    holding close the stars,
    I placed them each,
    one by one,
    gently,
    with great care,
    deep within your heart.
    When days are difficult,
    burdens to hard to bear,
    when love dies,
    and friends are not near,
    reach in,
    feel the magic,
    feel the love you have so close,
    my love lives within your heart,
    silent, patient and strong.
    
    
    ~Linda~ 7/27/92
    

    Go,
    the exit is there,
    no hoopla,
    no grand premier,
    you want out,
    the door is open,
    it is not just for in,
    you can leave,
    can go as easily,
    as you came.
    When you entered,
    I told you this,
    told you,
    said stay if your heart says yes,
    go if you don' know.
    Yes,
    I'll hurt,
    but it is o.k.,
    I gave of me, to you,
    all I had,
    as that is me,
    even though I knew,
    you might only stay a few,
    I'll hurt,
    I'll cry,
    I'll curse the night time,
    but,
    I'll know,
    I loved you,
    if only for a moment,
    And I know my love is part
    of who you are
    now.
    
    
    Linda 7/27/92

    Go away,
    be gone,
    once upon a moment,
    I fancied you mine,
    moments pass,
    actions last.
    You words so sweet,
    when you speak to others,
    some believe,
    A fool I am,
    to walk away,
    from love like yours.
    I just wish,
    just once,
    you would remember,
    remember to tell them,
    tell them that you were never near,
    turned away when I was in pain,
    turned your back on me.
    The one,
    the only time,
    I really needed
    a caring person to hold,
    hold for a moment to ease the fear,
    you were not there.

I don't want to be lonely anymore.
I'm tired of feeling this heartache inside.
I've cried myself to sleep too many times,
   too many long, lonely nights.
I just want someone to really love me,
   to hold me close at night
   to make the fears and nightmares
          dissappear.
I want to wake up with the sun shining
   brightly in the sky, and to arms
    holding me tight, protecting me.
I need to find a little happiness
    to stay with me...
     to bring my heart back to life.



		Dawnne T. Santos

Rain slides down the window pane
  like the tears running down my face
The sky is a murky grey
  like the cloud shrouding my heart

So many things are uncertain
  I feel scared and alone inside
I just want something I can grasp onto
  That won't leave me stranded 

Is it wrong to desire happiness
  to share a deep, true love?
Little things make me smile and laugh
  is kindness such a difficult thing to give?

It's said that 'love conquers all'
  that 'all' is a very large obstacle
Attempting to conquer it is hard enough
  but infinitely more difficult when done alone

How I want the sun to shine again
  and a smile to curve my lips
How I want a warm breeze to blow again
  and a song to sing in my heart

Can you spare a little gladness
  from within your heart to mine?
Can you brush the tears from my face
  and show me that someone cares?

    -- Kristy (7/30/92)

    What's that you say?
    
    You can see through me?
    
    Well dear friends it's no wonder.
    
    I'm fadding into obscurity.
    
    Once I was everywhere.
    
    My name meant things.
    
    Now, I fade a little more
    
    Each day.
    
    And as you all lose sight 
    
    I become a phantom
    
    A shade that once was
    
    Until one day
    
    I am not even a breath of wind
    
    
    Skip

             The Mystery of Uncertainty


             One day I decided to walk 
             I really wanted to run
             but forced courage made me
             hold a steady constant path
             
             Along this road I have known
             such beauty....
             The colors of spring flowers
             The sweet smell of new grass
             The simple song of a bird
             Small treasures that deliver
             me serenity and inner peace
             I feel sure my decision to walk 
             was the right choice
             but suddenly....
            
             The road forks
             I fail to see beyond the bend
             The uncertainty makes me
             anxious...
             I start to go down one path
             Then suddenly I turn and run
             for the unknown comfort
             of the other

             All is suddenly dark and foreboding
             This adds to my confusion
             I must choose
             
             I sit on the cold hard ground
             It's Autumn you know
             I say a prayer 
             Begging for guidance ...  a small sign
             I scrutinize my surroundings
             but no sign is given
             I take out my tarot
             Yes perhaps a kind spirit 
             will dance upon my cards and
             maybe...just maybe
             tell me which way to go

             But my readings only show me
             more confusion 
             The Tower...
             The Devil...
             The Lovers...
             The Fool...
             The winds come and blow apart my cross
             The cards fly around
             in a mystic breeze
             Seeming to mock me in silent laughter

             Go your own way
             no stay please stay
             Go right
             Go left
             Go back
             Forge a new path

             This multitude of choices alarms me
             what to do 
             where to go
             No one will tell me
             The ultimate choice is mine
             You see no matter which road I venture
             never seen shadows will come to call
             Ghost of old lovers will cry from
             the grave 
             like the willi's of Gizelle they
             will haunt me
             
             What if I take this less traveled path
             could I possibly fail
             does anyone really fail?
             Only one who remains in this hellish complacency
             fails 
             because they loose time
             They loose sight of dreams
             and they loose themselves
             A sacrifice to their uncertainty

    
    		-B 

                    I CAN'T TOUCH YOU


                    I wonder if you still
                    feel my presence enough
                    to know
                    what I feel

                    I see you 
                    but can't reach you
                    I hold you
                    but can't touch you
                    I love you
                    but something sinister
                    blocks it 
                    somehow
                    somewhere
                    It's a mystery                    
                    to me
    
                    I don't know if 
                    my love just doesn't
                    reach into your 
                    new dark world...
                    perhaps it does
                    reach
                    but you
                    don't have the strength
                    to reach for me
 
                    All that I know is
                    the actions I see
                    It breaks my heart 
                    looking at you
                    inside your glass cage
                    I want to save you
                    but you need to save yourself

                    Your brow becomes glazed
                    with warm wet sweat
                    Your heart pounds
                    I see the tension
                    in you
                    Can you break the heavy chains
                    that hold not your heart
                    but your soul

                    For if only you could break the chains
                    together we could break the glass
                    and you could come back to me
                    and let me love you again
                    You would be free 
                    to find paradise in the long days
                    under a bright blue sky
                    Then I could touch you again
                    only this time you could touch me too...
    

    
    			-B

		    MIND READER
 
 
 
                 What I think
                 you say
                 Before the 
                 words escape
                 my lips
                 I am amazed 
                 You forsee them
 
                 Does your
                 love 
                 allow you some clandestine access to
                 my thoughts...
                 my soul... 
                 my heart...
 
                 You know my secrets
                 my deepest
                 darkest
                 lust
                 You treasure them
                 and then fullfill them
                 You read me like a book
                 a cherrished romance
                 novel
                 You quitely absorb me 
                 Never could you end this story
                 nor would I
                 even if we could  
 
                 I see it in your gaze
                 I feel it radiate from your smile
                 I taste it on your smooth
                 hungry lips
 
                 You look upon me with a special 
                 all knowing look
                 we make love in private
                 Long to in public
                 but we avoid this fauxpas
                 It does not concern me that you read my emotions
                 and foretell them so easily
                 because you see my love
                 I can read you too
 
                 -B


    

 
                After the Night
 
                Remember times of innocence
                feather soft kisses			
                A shy subliminal touch			    
                Holding your hand 
                tracing out designs in your moist	    
                palm with my fingers
                Making love only with our thoughts 
 
                We conversed as friends, but
                in our minds we undressed each others	    
                very souls				    
 
                Wandering the desert  			
                Your touch was an oasis 		
                I quenched my thirst in your embrace	
 
                Insatiable passion			
                Apprehension				
                Newborn feelings never experienced
                shatter past illusions of love 
 
                Where do we take it now?		
                Our passion has caught fire 
                can somthing greater crawl
                from these embers of desire
 
                Reality takes hold
                We've gone as far as we
                can go
                I drive home alone
                the taste of you
                on my tounge
                With pleasure comes some sorrow	
                Was it worth it in the end?               
 
                I've come to this conclusion
                we spend our life in a dream		
                was it all an illusion			
                or were these tender moments what 
                they seemed
 
                Sirens becon me from distant oceans
                Their primal wail like a song of seduction
                bringing me to the edge
                My addiction is excitement
 
                What awaits around the bend
                This lust to stay among the living     
                could be my downfall in the end	
 
                But when my heart is weary it's with yours
                that it will rest
                because I'll remember our secret places
                all the times we shared
                You took me to a garden I can never find
                again
                But I'll always have a piece of you
                when I remember when...
 
		-B
    

WHAT IS LOVE


I love you truely
No lies reside within this heart
There is no room here for anything...
anything
but my eternal passion and love for you

I love you madly
So madly I would die for you my love
die
because to have you swept from my life
would be no more
than a sentence of living death
I would still have breath to walk upon this earth
but my heart...my soul would have died 
died with you

I love you deeply
so deeply the depth frightens me
I drown in the ocean of your love
but I do not die 
your beautiful mouth gives me breath
and together we conquer this 
raging sea
Truly....
madly....
deeply...
    
    -B

                THE KISS
                
                Soft gentle inquisitive
                barely a touch
                just out of reach...
                A tease
                cold noses share new found
                warmth
                Desire hides out
                a refugee
                disguised in innocence

                Curious tongues search
                for one another
                as if possessed
                in their quest
                To satisfy their insationable need
                to discover
                one
                an 
                others
                Taste
                texture
                fire...

                Madly dashing in and out like 
                a candles flicker
                hot
                so hot...

                But tongues are not faithful lovers
                never satisfied with their own kind
                they hold an insation 
                to taste
                every taste...
                sweet
                salty
                curvey
                between moist helpless thighs

                In the aggression of passion their hands grab your hair
                you lay back all breathless
                then your tongue finds their ear
                Wet warm
                pleasure
                prisoner of love            

                Want satisfaction
                but your making them wait
                you know it will 
                be though
     
                they will devour you
                together in this primitive dance
                thrashing and grinding
                moaning and groaning
                pressing their nails into your neck
                whispering in your own secret language of love
                
                In this sticky sweetness 
                of a hot summer night
                in a moment that will never be again...
    
    		-B

JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT

Do you want your freedom?  
Some space 
someplace 
your saving grace
Nothing left to lose
you got it 
just ask
That's all...

Really...
I am not your warden
you're not my prisoner
I never meant to chain your heart
only to hold it 
loosely
truely
gently
lovingly in my warm embrace
go now 
be
apart

We were lovers in a dream
I gave you my body...
I didn't know then you
were buying
not taking
Selling
not giving

Now I lay quietly in the emptiness
that was
your love
and I dream
dreams of loneliness
I hear the echoes in the stillness
of my bedroom
your ghost is here
haunting me

I remember lying in your arms
falling asleep to the gentle constant
rhythm of your breathing
your heartbeat...
This oneness
drives me mad
God I miss your touch
your tongue
your jade green eyes
your body with mine
our oneness
our sweet kisses
our love

Hot bitter tears trace
trails of sorrow down
my face
But as they fall
they turn to ice
restoring the layers
your passion
once melted away

I look in the mirror 
I see my soul
Its so beautiful
it glistens a rainbow of wondrous
color 
So brilliant
I caress myself
I am so cold
so alone
it's hard
so hard
so cold and hard
but beautiful
beautiful ice
I look closer 
before I disappear
Only to behold a diamond

    
    -B

I want you in my life
  you make things so worthwhile
  you soothe my hurts
  you tolerate my varying moods
I need you in my life
  you make my world a happier place
  you share my good times
  you hold me tight in my bad times
I love you in my life
  you make the sun seem brighter
  you chase away the dark clouds
  you make me feel secure
    
    -- Kristy (8/3/92)

I feel like I'm wandering, lost
  in a dark forest
    in a parched desert
      in a violent storm
        in a dizzying whirpool

I let go of your hand 
  now you're lost to me
    drifting further away
      just a speck on the horizon
        the warmth and love just a memory

I wish I could turn back time
  right all the wrongs
    be all that you want me to be
      be all that I want to be
        be everything for you

I feel stranded, alone
  nowhere to turn
    no one to hold me
      no one to warm my heart
        no one to share things with

I am no longer whole
  my heart is empty
    my spirit is broken
      my mind is confused
        my soul aches over the loss of you

I want you beside me
  and live
    and be happy
      and be loved
        and give love

I have fond memories
  of good times shared
    of quiet times shared
      of problems worked through
        of loving you
    
    
    -- Kristy (8/3/92)

I see your pain in the words you write,
  and it touches me.  
It makes all my troubles seem less important;
  it makes me want to reach out and touch you,
         and let you know you are not alone.
You have friends who care,
  people you can talk to,
    if you'd only open up your heart
              and let them in.

I believe I know how you feel, 
  because I have felt that so many times before,
    and it took me such a long time,
     to open up and let someone in.
But I did, and after a while,
  you don't feel so alone, 
    and you aren't as sad,
      because you know someone really cares.




			Dawnne T. Santos

Going back to the time
when you said you loved me,
what utter lies
you spoke to my heart.

How can I ever trust
another again?
Why should I ever trust
another again?

The hurt is greater
than the shards of glass
that entered my hand
when I smashed the window.

You gave me that crooked smile
that you so often gave,
looking half mad,
looking half sane.

I crossed another bridge
that you burned for me.
I learned another lesson
in this world of life.

Then I opened a new door,
new light shining in,
new rays beating down
upon my face.

Then I realized
how shallow this world can seem,
it was only
tricks of light.


    -B

			why do our eyes drift
			talking to you I see
			beauty in your thoughts
			eyes drifting 
			curves forming beauty
			STOP

			why do I completely
			feel like a fool
			getting caught
			looking at you
			when I see beauty expressed
			without words

			am I just playing
			a game with my mind
			in an instant these
			thoughts dissapate
			like a cotton cloud
			without substance

			do you understand
			when I say nothing
			eyes meeting 
			expressing more than words
			do I love?
			yes I do.

    			-b

			These
			are secret things.
			Women
			are supposed to be
			the ones good at keeping
			secrets,
			and I guess they do 
			keep a few,
			but
			any woman who knows
			anything at all
			would tell you she's never
			really seen
			into any man's
			heart.
			The soil of a man's heart
			is stonier,
			a man grows what he can.
			And tends it.

			-b
			
    			
    			

I've crawled inside a dark cave,
  and in the far corner,
   I sat with my head on my knees.
I felt the cold wind whip through my hair,
  and the darkness penetrate my very soul,
   a darkness so complete,
     and yet they always said 
       there is light at the end
           of the tunnel....


	
		Dawnne T. Santos

    Reprinted w/o permission.  Author unknown.
    
    A DIETER'S PRAYER
    
    Lord, grant me strength that I may not fall
    Into the clutches of cholesterol.
    At polyunsaturates, I'll never mutter,
    For the road to h*ll is paved with butter.
    and cake is cursed and cream is auful
    And Satan hides in every waffle.
    Beezlebub's a chocolate drop
    and Lucifer's a lollipop.
    Teach me the evils of hollandaise,
    Of pasta and gobs of mayonnaise.
    And crisp fried chicken from the South -
    Lord, if you love me, 
    			SHUT MY MOUTH!
    
    

This is in memory of my best friend, who died this summer.

EVIDENCE

Rejoice! Rejoice!
  The moon just showed me a brand new trick,
	and cast my shadow on the ground.
  And to believe that all that time
	I did not realize that the moon
  Knew my and the earth's shapes well enough
	to draw us as finely as the sun.
How generous of it to give me evidence --
  Clear black evidence there on the path --
  Walking, breathing evidence --
Evidence that I am so alive.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
  The heavens showed me a brand new world today,
	and threw wide their gates before my tranquil eyes.
  And to believe that all the while
	their key was my traveling guide,
  Charmingly as unaware as I that his gifts
	of feathers and footprints were pieces of fantasies.
How generous of him to give me evidence --
  Shining underneath a cloud evidence
  Musical, mountainous evidence --
Evidence that my dreams are as alive as I.

			"My First Time Ever"
	
			The sky was dark
			The moon was high
			All alone
			Just her and I.
	
			Her hair so soft
			Her eyes so blue
			I know just what 
			She wanted to do.

			Her skin so soft
			Her legs so fine
			I ran my fingers
			Down her spine.

			I didn't know how
			But I tried my best
			I started by placing
			My hands on her breast.

			I remember my fear
			My fast beating heart
			But slowly she spread 
			Her legs apart.

			And when I did it
			I felt no shame
			All at once
			The white stuff came.

			At last it finished
			It's all over now
			My first time ever



			At milking a cow!

    
    
    		There is Only One Story
    
    
    		There is only one story:
    		he loved her,
    		then stopped loving her,
    		while she did not 
    		stop loving him.
    
    		There is only one story:
    		she loved him,
    		then stopped loving him,
    		while he did not 
    		stop loving her.
    
    		The truth is simple:
    		you do not die
    		from love.
    
    		You only wish
    		you did.

                                  Promises
                                 ----------
                   I have reached out and touched the sky
                       I have stood and felt the wind
                   Yet higher and strong than those things
                       Does my love for you transcend.

                  I have tasted the salt and felt the waves
                          Of an ocean at mere peace
                   But none can match the depth and grace
                       Of a love that will not cease.

                     Over the seas and through the skies
                        We've travelled far and wide
                      Yet even distance, time and space
                          My love, it cannot hide.

                       Though the skies go on forever
                        And the sea's don't ever rest
                With my hopes and prayers, thoughts and fears
                         I will give to you my best.

                                 Matt Bagdy 
                                 17-AUG-1992

  
    Comes the Dawn
    
    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul
    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
    And company doesn't mean security,
    And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
    And presents aren't promises,
    And you begin to accept your defeats
    With your head up and your eyes open
    With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
    And you begin to build all your roads on today
    Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
    And futures have a way of falling down in mid flight.
    After a while you learn
    That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
    So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
    Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong,
    And you really do have worth.
    And you learn and you learn...
    With every goodbye you learn.
    
    Author unknown

There were times you made me so happy
  because you care, and you always
      seem to show it.
And there were times when you made me sad,
  and didn't even know because I wouldn't
          tell you.
I don't want you to know how insecure
  and vulnerable I am.
I don't want you to know how easily
  I can be hurt;
And how much re-assurance I need.
My days without you drift by so slowly,
  and I wonder if they will ever end.
I need you more than I wanted to 
  let myself need you,
And I love you more than I ever
  thought possible.
But already I am lost to your charms
  and your endearing ways,
    and I have given up my heart to you.
Be gentle with it please....



			Dawnne T. Santos

    You brought sunshine to a rainy life,
    Laughter to a broken soul,
    Love to tattered heart.
    You showed tenderness,
    showed me you cared,
    held my very being,
    in your two hands,
    soothes my worries,
    kissed away the pain,
    showed me hoe to love again,
    and then you were gone,
    slipped into the night,
    I reach out for you,
    but you are no longer there.
    

    When the darkness comes,
    and the fear seeps in,
    I seek you shelter,
    seek your love.
    I reach out in the darkness,
    and hold you close,
    you warm me with your embrace,
    soothe me with your touch,
    your kiss so sweet,
    helps things feel right.
    Safe within your arm,
    the pain slowly fades.

    When the sun fills in the corners
    And the Dew dries up it's tears
    When the warmth comes down upon us
    Chasing away the fears
    
    When the meadows fill with rainbows
    And the stars all seem to care
    These are the many moments 
    We always seems to share
    
    No matter how tough times get
    When you are here with me
    It's as if you've opened up a box
    And set our problems free.
    
                      Skip

    All these people leaving,
    taking with them,
    a part of my soul,
    I refuse to say good bye,
    refuse to let go,
    you reached out to me,
    held out your hands,
    took me in when 
    all seemed lost.
    You speak to me with kindness,
    bring laughter to my soul,
    and joy to my heart.
    I will remember each and all,
    every one of you,
    from today,
    till forever,
    you will stay
    in my heart,
    and I will always remember
    you with a smile,
    and the warmth that I feel
    knowing you are near.
    

    
You came into my world on a soft breeze
  offering your friendship to me.
I didn't know what a change you could make
           in my life....
I didn't know that I could be this happy.

I owe you for so much...
  for mending my broken heart
   and allowing me to give it
         to you.

I owe you for making my eyes sparkle
  with your sweet and tender words,
   for accepting me as I am,
     and for loving me the way I am.

I owe you for showing me
  that my dark days could end
   and that the sun could shine
        upon me.

But mostly I owe you
  for putting this smile on my face,
   and the never-ending love for you
           in my heart.



				Dawnne T. Santos

    
    Distant stars
    meet in the night,
    bringing messages 
    across the lands.
    Souls lost in despair
    reaching out for someone to care.
    A silent plea fro one is close,
    come to me, show me the way out.
    Hold close my heart,
    erase all fear,
    let me melt beside you,
    warm with your desire,
    from the depths of your soul.
    Hold tight,
    stay near.
    Silently crying out,
    the stars listen and hear.
    Two lost souls, wandering alone,
    searching for happiness,
    togetherness,
    Distant stars meet in the night.
    

    When the world is darkend 
    And the clouds are blots
    That tie the sunlight
    Into knots
    
    When the soul is darkend 
    And you feel the gloom
    Like a shadow walking
    Through your room
    
    Then grasp the sword
    And fight the fright
    And Sing out LOUD
    Against the night
    
    Find the stars
    And seek the sun
    A questing spirit
    On the run
    
    Make your stand
    And cry "Enough!"
    And show the world
    It's not a bluff
    
    Wield you sword
    Over your head
    Slay your dragon
    Then off to bed
    
    To dream your dreams
    And sleep your sleep
    And dream of those
    Who made you weep
    
    Skip
    
    

				Changes

			Never have I given so much time
			To one who I do not really know
			We exchange thoughts without words
			By touching our minds

			This is not a dream
			I feel warmth 
			Two souls now as one
			Reality never felt so real
			
			Grasping the last inch of existence
			I will hold on to your emotions
			Until you leave my life
			I'll then join with you again

			Changes will happen
			Always be aware
			I have taken
			Your love

    			-B

        Yesterday I thought of you. . .
        The laughter we shared, the smiles we exchanged
        The touch of your hand within mine
        And your memory made me smile.
        
        Today I missed you. . .
        The love we shared and the passions we felt
        How soft your lips were against mine
        And your memory made me yearn.
        
        Today I dreamt of you. . .
        The past we experienced, the today's we hold true
        How warm your heart feels, beating as one with mine
        And you taught me to love completely.
        
        Tomorrow, I will marry you. . .
        Bringing a new page in the book of our life together
        How good your love will feel, unending and undieing
        And your love will make me complete.
        
                                 Matthew Bagdy
                                 (15-SEP-1992)

    Wow!!
    
    That is an excellent Poem Matt...Good things DO come to those we
    wait...
    
    Great job....do you mind if I print it??
    
    ~Linda~

    I gave to you,
    my heart, my soul,
    entrusted them to your care,
    without a second glance,
    you tossed them aside,
    never even realising,
    what you had.
    The pain is easing now,
    as I really don't seem to care,
    reality crashed through my door,
    leaving my ravaged heart at my feet.
    I only feel useless and spent,
    I gave to you the one thing
    that is hardest for me to do,
    and you tossed it aside,
    like yesterdays news,
    tattered and abused,
    I believed in you,
    why then were you so cruel?

    Whoa... nice technic LinDarlin.
    
    Skip

			what happened to the time?
			when we were young.
			what happened to that place
			where we hid our fears?

			growing is like falling
			the faster we fall
			the faster the time
			goes by.

			we seem to forget
			our innocence.
			our virgin thoughts
			of playfulness.

			falling, falling..
			I think that I may
			welcome the time
			when I finally reach the bottom.

    			-B

    
    feeling so good 
    feeling so bad
    more alive than i've ever felt
    yet more empty too

    searching for a solution
    a way out
    knowing there is none.......
    
    grasping at wisps of thoughts
    innuendo
    as if they hold the answer
    nothing can save me now.....
    
    i can't go back from where i came
    do i want to?
    
    you have brought me down 
    a beautiful green country road
    to a hidden place
    that no one else knows exists
    
    its ours
    our secret thicket
    
    it will always be ours
    
    so good, so bad
    so sure, so tentative
    so alive, so hollow
    so loved, so alone
    so powerful, so weak
    so whole, so shattered
    
    
    ......................
    
    

    As I look back,
    reflect upon my being,
    I see you standing near,
    a part of me, always there,
    You know me so well,
    read my thoughts,
    as though they were your own.
    You feel the pain that courses
    through my veins,
    feel my anger and despair,
    Share my sorrow, share my joy,
    we have loved with a passion so rare,
    such intensity and caring.
    Your body molds with mine,
    as we become one,
    fitting together as though we are meant to be,
    blending our love together,
    joining in serenity,
    safe within the warmth of your arms.
    Good bye will come all too soon,
    your life calls you back,
    our time together brief,
    yet the memories will burn bright.
    You are in my heart,
    have a piece all your own,
    since time began,
    you have held my love,
    and I yours.
    I smile softly knowing
    with you it remains safe.

        Not my words,  but  the  song says alot.  .  .please remember
        the frog, when you hear it. . .thanks.
        
       `I don't believe in painted roses 
        or bleeding hearts
        While bullets rape the night 
        of the merciful
        I'll see you again 
        When the stars fall from the sky
        And the moon has turned red
        Over One Tree Hill
        
        We run like a river
        Runs to the sea
        We run like a river
        To the sea'
        
        One Tree Hill   -   U2

    
    
    I Love You.... 
    More then any other words on Earth 
    These three are abused the most often
    So few of us understand what they mean
    I will not pretend that I do
    Instead I will speak of what meanings I know
    And leave you to decide if there are more
    
    I Love You...
    
    They mean commitment...
    To each other... to be there in good or bad 
    Regardless of the pain that may be envolved.
    
    They mean recognition...
    Of each other as individuals... we are not 
    Two who become as one... regardless of what Songs say.
    We are two who are unique and must learn to cherish 
    All that is unique in each other.
    
    I Love You...
    
    They mean understanding
    Trying to see the others side when disagreement comes
    (As it most assuredly will...
    for only a fool believes that those who love
    will never disagree).
    And trusting that it matters even when 
    you can not understand.
    
    They mean growing...
    Life and love must always grow 
    These are two universal constance...
    For if they stop growing... 
    Then they are dying...
    
    I Love You...
    
    They mean sacrifice
    Giving up that fishing trip 
    because she has the blues...
    Giving up that trip to the mall
    because he has the sniffles
    Giving up that new rod or dress
    Because it is there birthday
    
    They mean giving...
    Giving to each other of each other
    Giving of your reasons and fears 
    And knowing that the other
    will never use them on you.
    
    I Love You...
    
    They mean sharing
    Experiences and secrets 
    Moments and thoughts
    Hopes and Dreams
    Success and failure
    Beauty and yes sometimes ugliness
    
    They mean strength
    When one is weakened by the toils of life
    Then the other must help them along
    When one is down from the consistent battle
    Then the other must help them up
    When both are weakened and down
    Then both must combine and strive to over come.
    
    I Love You...         
    
    No I can't pretend this is a full definition
    For how can you define the universe?
    I can no more define God or the meaning of life
    I show you here some of what it is 
    And I hope you know there is more 
    I pray that when you hear me say it...
    that you understand all the power 
    and all the magic that lays beneath them
    And I pray that when you say these words 
    That the world so often abuses or misunderstands,
    You say them knowing what I'm trying to say.
    
    I Love You!
    
    				Skip
    				March 12, 1990
    				For Annie R. 
    				
    

I've never receved a grander gift then the words you've written for me. 
They've left me speechless.  To that end, I enclose the following for you,
hoping you can understand.
    
I look at this page... blank.
Seeking elusive words to fill it.
Words to express the feelings inside.
Words to say what "I Love You" does not.
But they are elusive butterflys.
That flit and skirt within my mind.
They land for a second, and then kite the wind.
Always just beyond my grasp.
So I fill the page with words of no meaning.
And talk of butterflys and blank pages.
Wishing for more to express myself.
And knowing, deep,
In my heart and being.
There isn't a real need to express at all.
For you know what I feel, I've seen it.
It is the same feeling that glints in your eyes.
That warms your arms around me,
And glosses the small tears you shed.
It is the same within me.
And for all it's inadaquince,
In it's expression of the feeling,
The only word I can write is....
Love.

I Love You

                         Skip
                         For Annie R.  
                         Happy ANNIEversery.

				Love Is...

When we're together and reality

Starts slipping off shoulders and shattering

On the floor in jagged fragmentations...




When softly toching each other's hands,

Makes those sharp hard edges become sft blures,

Shapely soft curves and smooth rounded valleys,




We gather them in our arms exploring

And travel across the finely formed lines

The inherent child in us understands




Our words meaning more then the sounds they make,

Fear runs away like shadows from sun light,

And our embrace echos around our hearts.




Then the world stops turning for that moment

And we share all there is for us to share.

Peace In My Heart


It was a dark, dreary day in my heart;
 the inner turmoil was so great,
   I wondered if it would ever end.

On a day that I thought nothing
 would go right, he picked me up
  and brought me to a place,
    where he would show me peace.

I lay on the grass with the blue
 sky above, sun shining...
  and as he played his guitar,
   his beautiful voice
    floated down to me...

He sang of love, and he
 sang of dreams, and he sang
  of sadness...
   and when I closed my 
  eyes a single teardrop
      escaped......

But there was a smile on my
  face, and I felt my heart
   grow lighter and lighter
    till I realized what
     he had done for me.

He had brought peace to 
 my heart that was so
  full of turmoil.

He brought peace to a 
 day that was hopeless to me..

And then he took my hand
 and held it tight, 
  and I knew I could make
   it through the day....

 because he brought peace
      to my heart.



			Dawnne T. Santos
                        September 28, 1992

    
    re .164
    
    Very good poem Dawnne.....  :-)
    
    Manny
    

    Thanks Manny!
    
    :^))))
    

    What is it about you,
    what is the power you have
    over me?
    Days go by,
    Your presence not missed by me,
    yet I walk through your door,
    memories flood in,
    the bad things all fade from view.
    The one thing I want, the only thing is you.
    I know that it will never be,
    some things just don't work how we want.
    I know I have a place in your heart,
    you remember things others forget,
    the perfume I wear,
    the funny way I laugh,
    you remember my payday,
    remember how I trip over rays of light.
    I know I should just forget,
    and go on,
    How can I though,
    when you still have a hold on my heart.

DANCE OF DANGER

thrashing inner emotions
screaming internal desires
seizing present moments
stalking destiny 

craning about, observing movements
dancing harshly against bodies
bodies in motion sweating
slamming into air

ethereal bouts of feelings
lighter than souls
singing with motion
acting with glances

suddenly frozen in time
silently, crystalline
afraid if handled
it will crumble

bss
    
    

    I like it

    Silent tears of despair,
    fall gently from my eyes,
    I want your love,
    want your closeness.
    I build a life on our moments together,
    knowing my fantasy is all it will ever be.
    You hold me close,
    and whisper my name,
    our loving makes all else fade away.
    Yet when the morning light comes,
    the new day begins,
    your life goes on,
    and I don't fit in.
    I know you love me,
    know you care,
    Somehow, someway I scared you away,
    you still want me,
    still long for my touch,
    yet, there so much pulling us apart.
    Each night as I lay down to sleep,
    the tears flow softly,
    staining my cheek,
    I loved you then,
    I love you now,
    I long for your touch,
    cry out in the night.
    Alone, again, I believe I will always be.
    

    TFSO here we go.
    Knocking us down like dominos.
    Last one to come is the first to go.
    Oh, how we love TFSO.

    This is the best one in here..........
    
    It ranks among the best, like the ODE TO WADE BOGGS.
    
    8-)

    Well, thank you Bob.
    
    I assume that's a compliment.  :^)

    It is from a guy who isn't really into poetry, like I'm not.
    
    I love stuff like that.............8-)

    		Well since its close to Halloween I'd thought I'd post a
    poem that I wrote a while ago to Stephen King.
    
    
    
		a trip in a nightmare


		Come this way, he said with a grin.
		Step over that mess or you might break a limb.
		Path A or path B, path C and theres more.
		Quickly make up your mind and pick a good door.

		So I picked door K for the unusual smell.
		Get ready, get set, for a trip through my hell.
		He led me inside by grabbing my hair.
		I never noticed that strange little stare.

		He stopped and he looked and held out his hand,
		Stephen King, he said, BOY welcome to my great land.
		I heard crying and moaning, laughing and howls.
	        Step aside, he said,  while I open my bowels.

		I turned and ran and didn't look back.
		But what I would see left nothing to lack.
		I tripped and tumbled right into a pit.
		and you guessed it folks it was full of fresh shit.

		So ends this tale for I died in that moat.
		My body all mangled and beginning to bloat.
		Well then how did you write this? I heard you scream.
		Relax I said darling this was only a dream.

			brian siart  July 9, 1985
			for Stephen king
			revised, July 10, 1985
    

    Oh Yuck!  What a way to go!
    
    
    ;0
    Skip

I woke up this morning
     crying for you.
You came to me in my dream,
  telling me that we couldn't be together,
   that there was no time for us,
      and no place for us.
Then you disppeared
   and I was left holding my pillow
         and sobbing
    with my lonely heart aching for you.



			Dawnne T. Santos

    Winter is comming 
    The signs are there
    The squirrils are running
    in matted pairs 
    
    And the wind is a blowin
    With a voice that is shrill
    that cuts through my clothing
    like a knife made of chill
    
    The sky seems much clearer
    at night all those stars 
    In the cold air it seems 
    they not quite as far
    
    Yeah winter is comming
    The signs are all their
    Why I'm even wearing 
    My long underwear.
    
    
    ;-)
    Skip

         Love is not a feeling or an emotion.
         Love is not mean or hateful.
         Love does not harbour a grudge,
              nor does it bear shame.
         Love sees no faults.
         
         Love is understanding and kind.
         Love is unconditional, it does not
              keep count of our faults.
         
         If I had a bible, I could tell you more 
         on love, for who should know Love than
         He who created it.
         
         In 1 Chorinthians chp. 13, Paul told us 
         all about love, how it behaves, love as a 
         way of life. Love is an action.  If you 
         love someone show it. The bible also 
         tells us that God is love.  Read it 
         sometime.
         
         -cheryl
         

For a while I thought
 that you might exist;
   the one I'd been waiting for.

I thought for a moment
  that you might see my pain
    and try to free my heart of it.

I thought that somehow
  you could make the crazy thoughts
     go away
   and restore peace to my mind.

And then you took my heart
  and abused it unmercifully.
 
Now all that's left is an 
  empty, hurting hole.....
    
    
    
    			Dawnne T. Santos
    

    
    
    8^(((((((((((((
    
    
      

    yeah.
    
    don't I know it.

Warped, twisted, demented.
Crazy thoughts flying in and out.
Voices screaming inside.
No way to let go.
No way to hold on anymore.
Darkness enveloping me.
coldness creeping deep into my bones.
My empty soul living in Hell.


			DTS

    Hold on to me.
    I'm sinking fast.
    Don't let me drown.
    Pull me out and pick me up,
      and tell me I will survive.
    
    
    
    
    			DTS
    

          
    The Last Autum Leaf  (Comments Welcomed)
    
    
    A small 
            bit 
                 of 
                    fire 
                        swirling 
    
                        past
    
                      my
                    nose               oun
                                      r   d
               zig         s to spin a     & and then 
            zag           d           r   d            g 
         d               r             oun                e
         o              a                                    n
         w             w                                       t
         n            p                                           l
            and then  u                                             y
                                                                     
                                                             swish      
                                                         softly
                                                      almost
                                                   silently
                                                to the 
                                             dark 
                                          frozen
                                        soil
                                     where you let time brown your edges    
                                   and you crumble and crackle at my feet. 
    
    
    
    Skip 
    (After a late night walk on October 30th 1992

I wake up with my heart full of dread...
  another hopeless day has come,
   a day of pain and sorrow
       and I think
 why do I bother to continue
  when tomorrow will be more
      of the same...

Let's close our eyes and dream,
  and run away together 
    to a place far away in our hearts,
 where we can be free to be us.

Take me in your arms and hold me tight,
  and let me close my eyes and revel
    in the closeness of you, the scent of you,
          and the feel of you with me.

For a short while, nothing else will matter,
   except us;
No one else will exist,
   except us,
And we will be free to explore each other,
 to teach, touch, taste, tantalize
   and love each other with no restaint
            in our dream......
   

			Dawnne T. Santos
    
                      

Do you miss me
 when you're all alone at night
  with the stars shining above
  and the wind whispering in your ear,
  do you wish I was there 
    to whisper to you instead?

Do you miss me,
  when you have a free moment
   to remember what we used to have
    and how we used to tell each other
     everything?

Do you miss me
 when you think about the things we
   used to do,
  everything we used to share,
   the closeness that we used to have?

Do you miss me so much
  that your heart aches,
    your world is so lonely
   and nothing seems to matter
        anymore? 

Do you miss me, like I miss you?



			Dawnne T. Santos


            

I thought about telling you to go away,
  leave me alone, don't toy with me
          anymore.

I thought about telling you to 
  leave my life, and let me try to
    heal my wounds on my own,
   the wounds that you created.

I thought about telling you that
  I didn't want to see you anymore,
   didn't want to hear you, or talk
    to you anymore.

I thought about telling you 
  that you don't mean anything to me
   now that you've taken my heart
      and destroyed it.

I thought about telling you that
  I don't care for you any more
   that all my love for you had died,

....but then I'd be a liar
   and all my dreams of having your love
      may vanish.



			Dawnne T. Santos

       In Celebration of the Christmas Season...
    
    I Thought you might enjoy a chuckle.......
    
    ;-)
    Skip
    
    
    Twas the night before Christmas 
    And all through the house
    Not a creature was stiring 
    Not even a louse
    
    In the garage a sleep
    With his wings tucked and wrapped
    Slept good ol Griffin
    In his long winter nap
    
    When a fat man in red
    Did suddenly appear
    And laughing Ho-ho ho
    With mirthful good cheer
    
    He woke up that dragon 
    from his long winter sleep
    And heard Griffin Grumble
    'Get away you fat Creep!'
    
    Then with a roar 
    and a puff of hot flame
    Griffin flamed Santa
    Guess I am to blame
    
    I should have warned Santa
    In my Christmas List
    Don't mess with the Dragon
    He just might get pissed!
    
    Well Santa is gone now
    He's nothing but ash
    And Griffin has swept him
    Up with the Trash
    
    So if you get nothing 
    Under your tree...
    You've no one to blame 
    Execpt Griffin and me!
    
    ;-)
    
    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year,
    
    Skip

    tee hee Hee HAH!
    
    --Griffin

FUTURE
    
    
There was a time when I thought we
  would always be together,
    laughing, joking, and loving....
We made our plans together
   and the future looked bright,
    but that was such a long time ago.
Now I don't even know you anymore.
You're full of pain and anger
  and instead of accepting my help,
   you reject me and inflict your pain
          upon me.
For so many years this has been going on.
Now I don't see a future.
I wonder where the laughter went to.
Was that really us?
How can lovers turn into enemies?
I am scared to look forward to tomorrow.....
   because tomorrow there will be more pain.


			Dawnne T. Santos

NEW YEAR
    
Can I learn to put aside
   all the pain and hurt you've caused me?
Can I really learn to forgive and forget?
And if I let myself get close to you again,
  will you love me and care for me,
      or misuse me like before?


			DTS

    I happen to see the reading of this poem by its author during the
    inauguration and her delivery was execellent.

Hi , I'm looking for a poem, which I read at this notes file a few
years ago.  If someone has it, would you please reply it on this topic or
would you please mail me ?

	Sonthing like this;

		There are many people in this world,
		But just only a few people 
		you can think so often,

		.....
		as true friends
		

-Etsi

    6 weeks left then she's gonna go away
    And I'm afraid I can't think of words to say
    About the times we talk and the many times we play
    And the empty place she's leave as she does it her own way
    
    Seems like it all began just yestereday
    When this Aussie and her friends started having things to say
    Well she never hurt a soul with the notes she'd right all day
    And I sorta wish I could find some words that would make her stay.
    
    But she's leaving in 6 weeks And I think I'll really Miss
    The adventures of our Aussie Lass the one and only Bliss
    She could axe the back of dragons and whip a man to tear
    But she always brought a smile and she could chase away my fears
    
    I got to meet this fine lass on an evening in the past
    And I watched her ride a black cow (okay it was made of glass)
    Fiberglass and epoxy yeap and I swear that where she sat
    The thing got hot and melted now it has a sagging back
    
    6 weeks and she's leaving but I'll always think of her
    She really was for all of us a fine and lovely dear
    No wonder Bliss my Darlin' that we've all grown rather fond
    Of a sweet and darlin gal who could spread wisdom like a wand.
    
    Skip
    

    
    Wow!!!! *bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush*
    
    Skip........ that was wonderful!! I'm at a loss for words!! *sniff*
    
    boy am I going to miss you!!! :^( and every-one else too....
    
    THANKYOU!!! *sniffle*
    
    Bliss	

        		The Snarf
        		---------
        
        I thought that reply two hundred was mine! :-)
        But all that I got was this one ninety-nine. :-(
        
        	by
        
        	Dan

    
    AAAAAAAAAARG!!!!!
    
    I can't believe you didn't snap this one up Dan?!?!?!
    
    I dedicate this to you with a HUG!!! :^)
    
    Bliss

    Heart to heart.. and hearts kiss
    the unknown one must be Bliss.
    Times are changing that is sure
    for the blues there is no cure.
    
    Aussie Lass you are bound to be missed
    pleasant times you have made are this
    Your wit and cheek please most for sure
    A visit from you just might be a cure.
    
    Simpler times and simpler places
    we would be together with faces
    close together, dancing cheek to cheek
    Missing you starts in the sixth week.
    
    Polish up your dancing shoes, 
    Holding you will cure my blues.
    Tango, rhumba, Waltz, and Foxtrot
    going home will not be thought.
    
    I will miss you it is true
    but have known you true
    is the best time this old man
    to bring to mind really can.
    
    BEST of luck for all BLISS...  Kiss.
    
    Dave

                          Puddles
    
    Puddles are dirty,
    Puddles are wet,
    Splash it on me,
    And I start to fret...
    
    Puddles are mucky
    And look dirty brown...
    Stepping to avoid them,
    Makes me frown...
    
    Ignore the mess, 
    Ignore the dirt,
    Just dig into them...
    And have a jolly good flirt.

    
    In the pond I saw a frog
    as I walked by with my dog
    
    go fetch that stick
    go get it quick.
    
    I kept the stick cos I liked it
    I hated that frog so I swiped it..

Hi all,

I have just been back from vacation. Before I went away I lost a very
young friend and after her funeral I had been going over the following
thoughts :  

It is another's smile that fills you with joy,
Bear the burden of another's sorrow if you can,
And feel love for another in your heart,
"That is what life is about".

I concede my pocket is empty like a pauper,
Yet I am rich at heart,
A life sacrificed to love others,
A life striving for happiness,
You may or may not believe,
"That is what life is about".

The bond between hearts is a bond of trust,
The name of love thrives thanks to us all,
Even after death, someone will remember me,
My beaming face will still be seen in someone's tears, 
And the rose will tell every petal again and again,
"That is what life is about".


girish

Dear All,

During the Easter break while I was helping a friend to overcome from some
major setbacks, I shared the following words of wisdom with her. She felt
them soothing and strengthening.

regards,

Girish

 		Don't give up

 When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
 When the road you are trudging seems all uphill,
 When the funds are low and the debts are high
 And you want to smile but you have to sigh
 When care is pressing you down a bit,
 Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
 Life is queer with its twists and turns,
 As every one of us sometimes learns
 And many a failure turns about
 When one might have won had one stuck out
 Don't give up though the pace seems slow
 You may succeed with another blow.
 Success is failure turned inside out
 The silver tint of the cloud of doubt,
 And you never can tell how close you are
 It may be near when it seems so far.
 So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit.
 It's when things seem worst, You must not quit

				author : Anon

    Here is a poem written by my daughter on Friday, 28-May-1993, for our
    Memorial day, which was on Monday, 31-May-1993.
    
         	Land of the Free
    
    		     by Heather M. McGee	     
    
    
    		Oh Horrah memorial day!
    		It's time to remember 
    		the soldiers in glory
                and array.
    
    		Who fought in the war for our
    		country's peace
    		while the Mothers 
    		and Children hope the 
    		war would cease.
    
    		Now the war is overe
    		some soldiers have died
    		and Mothers and children
    		have all cried
    
    		So lets sing out loud
    		on this beautiful day
    		Because We are 
    		Land of the free and the Home of the
    		Brave.
    
    

    Random Thoughts
    ===============
    
    Tell me not of past lives and loves,
    Of yesterdays
    and what could have been.
    Nor build a haven on empty dreams
    of tomorrows
    yet unspent.
    
    Ask me not for promises
    that neither of us could keep,
    nor place me
    in a gilded cage and call for me 
    to sing.
    
    Love me instead, as your soul desires,
    This night with passions fire.
    And leave eternities to the Gods
    For we are of the here
    and now.
    
    Shut the door,
    shut out the world.
    Be by my side tonight.
    And with the morning sunrise,
    Let us part as friends.
    
    by Tan Li Meng
    

		Star Crossed
		============
				
		Leo touches Virgo
		With unusual tenderness
		With a greater depth
		Of emotion
		Than she hath been touched
		In .... so very very long

			The maiden strokes the beast
			And offers what comfort
			She may have
			To share
			And ease his weary mind
			Of ... heavy loads, troublesome matters

		Virgo assesses herself
		With a critical eye
		And makes a wondrous discovery
		Its truth
		That she can bring
		To ... a lion, peace and light

			And curious Leo 
			Protector of his Pride
			Maintains his perceived indecency
			While Virgo
			Silently chuckles
			For ... such a decent man-beast




		Lady Jonet
		7/23/93

    On the Pillow next to me
    		             I see
          Eyes as blue as a mountain jay
    Framed with lashes the color of soft warm earth
    
    
    Lady Jonet Gale
    July 28, 1993

    
    
    He always used to be
    So young and very free
    He'd ride upon a wave
    To reach his happiness
    
    He loved and he laughed
    but then it was over
    And all too soon
    For him
    
    He can no longer run 
    He can't ride a wave
    But he still loves
    and he still laughs
    For he will always be young at heart
    
    
    by me
    

    Author Unknown
    
    I started back when I was a kid
    I guess I must have flipped my lid,
    Was 14 and quite a drunk--
    But drinking was bad, so on to junk.
    
    I caught right on to smoking grass.
    I got off, came high and stoned to class.
    It went to more than once a week,
    And I was living in a sneak.
    
    I started spending all my cash,
    then proceeded on to hash.
    It did not smell as much as pot,
    But I was smoking quite alot.
    
    I used it in a small green pipe-
    Tried one then two and another type.
    I had my turkish, blonde, and black,
    And then right on up the track.
    
    I took myself to popping pills,
    I did it all for pleasure and thrills.
    In not too long, this was a bore,
    And right away I wanted more.
    
    I got some tabs of T.L.C.
    I was so messed up I couldn't see.
    Now I was sweet sixteen,
    The most messed up the world had seen.
    
    For most, not I, it was a fad,
    I could not stop, it was so bad.
    I took some acid, speed and such,
    But that was it, I took too much.
    
    An O.D. case with out much hope,
    I've killed myself with too much dope.
    I'm in a box, don't close the lid,
    Oh, please not now, I'm just a kid.
    
    
    This was written by a teenager after her best friend died of an
    overdose back when I was in school.  I still keep the article from the
    newspaper to remind me and others why I never started to take drugs in
    school.
    
    Terrie
    

Sniff...sniff...another sad one, Terrie. This should be sent into Dear Abbey,
maybe it could help alot of kids.    

Lola

    THE COWBOY......
    
    He doesn't quite fit in
    no matter where he goes.
    He only feels at home
    on the road and the rodeo.
    
    He is always alone
    even in a crowd.
    He won't stop smiling though,
    he has always been too proud.
    
    He feels his heart harden
    with every romance that falls apart.
    He will never let anyone close enough
    to see all the scars upon his heart.
    
    And now he rides into the sunset
    like a hero of yesterday
    Hoping one day to find a love
    that will never fade away.....
    
    

    
    Does anybody nows the poetry P U Z Z L E S??
    
    I would like to have it for my friend, hes getting married!
    
    Thanks,
    Tina
    

    
    Tina!, sorry but I sure don't know what it is? 
    
    Mark ;-)
    

    Tina, I have one, but I'm positive it's not the one that you want. 
    It's one that I wrote! (-:
    
    
    H

    
    H,
    
    did you ever put it into this file? Beacause I saw it in here long,
    long time ago!!!
    
    Tina

    It's a possibility.  Here it is again, just in case it's the one you
    want.
    
    
The world is but a puzzle
And each one of us a piece.
Each of us is looking for our match
And then we will live in peace.

Some may look like a match
but it might not quite be right
The colors may not be the same
But then again, they just might.

But we try and fit the piece with us
but it just doesn't seem to fit.
so we go on looking for others
And we wonder if we will will ever find it.

But then all of the sudden we find one
That looks like it might be the one.
We try it, it fits perfectly
At last the battle is won.
    
    
    Holly Taylor - 5/17/89
    

    
    Holy
    
    You are just great!!!! It's this one. I think it's great!
    
    Thanks a lot,
    Tina
    	

    Well, I'm glad that you liked it!  And I'm really glad that you'd like
    to give it to your friend for his wedding.
    
    Honestly Tina, I've got a much better one for a friend who is getting
    married.  I didn't write it, but I actually found it in the Wedding
    notes file.  We used it at our ceremony just over a month ago.
    
    
    Until a Circle ends...
    
    
    You come from different places, Different people you remain
    Now you come together, As two links begin a chain.
    May you stand together through the shifting of the winds,
    And may you always dance in love, until a circle ends.
    
    May trust include the sharing of the problems you will find.
    May you always know the love that you've come here to bind.
    May you stand together in a love that comprehends,
    And dries the tears of broken dreams, until a circle ends.
    
    May love be yours, and happiness.  May love cut like a knife
    Through the trials inherent to a Husband and Wife.
    May love provide the patience to let friendship make you strong.
    God bless you in the dance of love, god bless your loving song.
    
    May love complete the circle through the sharing of these vows.
    May you always know the joy enduring love endows.
    May you know each other both as lovers and as friends,
    And may you always dance in love, until a circle ends.

    
    Yep, this one is also very good but I prefere yours! Thanks again,
    
    Tina	
    

		Lunatics, Lovers and Poets

		Lunatics go to live inside the moon
		Wrapped in a cloak of darkened insanity.
		The quicksilver world defines
		reality's face, apart
                from the erratic scribling of
                a derelict child's hand.
		Reality described by idiot savants, who calculate
		return on investment, cannot define
                love, life, anything that probes
                beyond the superficial facade of numbered statistics.
		We connect for minutes in the maelstrom,
		then part; and in parting, despair:
	        And in despair, we create,
                A word, a line in which to expose our innermost pain,
		hoping that a waiting heart
		will hear and make connection.
                We hug these thoughts tight,
                if only for just fleeting moment;
		then move on to offer our hands and our hearts
		in this world once again.


		
			Lynn Harountian and James Sadin 

				The smell of lilacs...




I drive blindly the route I know so well
Looking at my watch to see if I'll be late,
Wondering why I really care,
Or even, if I do,

The black snake slithers monotonously on,
Trying to toss me from it's back,
I steer as it moves this way and that,
Laughing at it's hopeless fight,

Questions, thousands of them,
Running like a mad river through my mind,
They engulf my thoughts in a torrent of uncertainty
And leave me with no answers,

An image of you creeps out of it's cage
And I quickly lock it away again,
The pain, the memories are too much for me,
It's easier to forget than forgive,

I flick the dial on the radio,
Nothing but static,
So I shut it off
And listen to the silence,

The smell of lilacs permeates the air,
Breaking the monotony of exhaust and tar,
I breath deeply natures soft perfume
And look at the rain clouds ready to burst...




						James P. Sadin

						   5/14/91

    The man I've been seeing asked me if I'd write a poem for him, so this is
    what I came up with......
    
    
    
    
    
                                I'm not a poet,
                                as you can see.
                             And writing this poem,
                             was difficult for me.

                           But I'm going to write it,
                             I said I would do it.
                             So with paper and pen,
                              I put my mind to it.

                             This poem is supposed,
                              To be just for you.
                            About all the wonderful
                              Things that you do.

                               About how we met,
                             As a result of an ad.
                                 And all about,
                              the fun we have had.

                             About our first kiss.
                             About our first touch.
                                 And all about,
                            How I want you so much!

                         But the words just won't come,
                           It's too difficult to say.
                            I just can't express it,
                                in a poetic way.

                          So I'll end this right now,
                           As it's getting too long.
                                Maybe next time,
                            I'll try writing a song.


							Lori Barr
							10/09/93

    

    Re .224
    
    Lori .. that was OK!
    
    Re .223
    
    Umm.. sorry but there is an apostrophe missing to indicate possessive
    case of the word "nature's" toward the end.. good though!!
    
    Don
    *8-)

>    Umm.. sorry but there is an apostrophe missing to indicate possessive
>    case of the word "nature's" toward the end.. good though!!
    
    	Aiyee....another nit-picker.....;*) 
    
    
    chico
    
    p.s. - ok Don....I'll fix it in the next REV....:*)
    
    

    
    Reflections On A Gift Of Watermellon Picke Received From A Friend
                       Called Felicity.
    
    During that summer when unicorns were still possible,
    When the purpose of knees was to be skinned,
    When shiny horse chestnuts...
          (Hollowed out, fitted with straws, crammed with tobacco
           stolen from family ash trays)
    ...Were puffed in green lizard silence,
    While straddleing thick branches, 
    Far above and away from the softening effects of civilization.
    
    During that summer which may never have been at all,
    But which has become more real than the one that was,
                WATERMELLONS RULED!
    
    Thick pink imperial slices, melting frigidly on sun parched tongues,
    Dribbleing from chins, leaving the best part,
    The black bullet seeds, to be spit out in rapid fire,
    Against the wall, against the wind, against eachother!
    And when the ammunition was spent, there was always another bite.
    
    It was a summer of limitless bites,
    Of hunger quickly felt, more quickly forgotten.
    With the next careless gorging.
    
    The bites are fewer now,
    Each one is savored lingeringly,
    Swallowed reluctantly.
    
    But in a jar put up by Felicity,
    The summer which maybe never was,
    Has been captured and preserved.
    And when we unscrew the lid,
    And slice off a piece of the past,
    And let it linger on out tongues......
    
    Unicorns become possible again.
                                          

    
    
    I seem to remember that one from somewhere...I like it!
    
    
    chico

    
    
    
    OOPS!  I should have said it was by John Tobias........
    
    
    Terrie
    

    I wrote this poem this morning for a friend of mine who has a big exam
    tonight.
    
    
			You asked me to write
			an essay for you.
			But I hope this poem
			instead will do.

			To wish you luck
			on your exam today.
			In hopes the mark
			you get is an "A".

			You've studied so hard,
			morning, noon and night.
			And you will get that "A"
			you'll see that I'm right.

			So go take your test,
			and ease your mind.
			The studying will pay off,
			an "A" you will find.

			Then maybe your studying
			will start to die down.
			And you'll find the time,
			to take me out on the town!

						Lori Barr
						10/25/93
                                        

    
    For M-L.....
    
        You ,wonderful friend for so long,
        have chosen to go and part.
        leaving us behind but know wherever you'll be,
        we'll be in each others heart.
    
        m. ;-)
    

    
    Well as if I had asked for this one, it was dropped on my lap without
    asking! 
    
          Dedicated to my friend Terrie!!!!!! ;-)
    
UPON MY SKIS I LIKE TO LET
THE WIND BLOW THROUGH MY CORSELET
BUT WHAT I LIKE MOST OF ALL
IS WHEN I FROM MY SKIS DO FALL
THANKS TO ATMOSPHERIC STATIC
WHICH MAKES MY SELF CONTROL ERRATIC
CAUSING MY BODY TO IMPART
THE MUCH ADMIRED "GO-FASTER" FART
WHICH MAKES ME QUITE A SPORTING STAR
AND THE ENVY OF ALL FROM NEAR AND FAR
'COS NO-ONE HAS MY TERRIE TOUCH
BAKED BEAN MUNCHING IS JUST TOO MUCH
FOR NORMAL SKIERS, WHOSE LIFE IS TOUGH
THEIR FIBRE DIETS ARE NOT ENOUGH
SO IF YOU NEED SOME GOOD ADVICE
ASK TERRIE, AND FOR A PRICE
SHE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED
TO GIVE YOUR SKIING EXTRA SPEED,
AND IF HER WHEREABOUTS YOU CANNOT TELL,
THEN USE YOUR HOOTER AND FOLLOW HER SMELL !

m. ;-) 
     

    
    Oh Mark!  I am so touched!  Would you mind if I extracted that and 
    posted it someplace else also?? :*)
    
    That just made my morning!
    
    BIGBIGBIGBIGBIGHUGS!!!!!
    
    Terrie
    

    go right ahead! ;-)))) glad you like it! ;-))))))))))))
    
    m. ;-)
    

    
    c d b ?
    i c d b.
    d e d b d b 
    
    
    hehehe :*) 
    
    Does everyone get this? hehehehe if you say it right, it makes alot of
    sense actually, and it really does rhyme. :*)
    
    (I need a vacation....anyone care to contribute to the fund? :*(()
    terrie
    

    Cee Dee Bee?
    Eye cee dee bee.
    dee eee dee bee dee bee!!
    
    
    I get it! spolier follows VL
    See the bee
    I see the bee
    the itty bitty bee
    
    (grin)

    
    
    har har.....! :*) ...and here I am thinking it's something
    sinister....:)
    
    
    chico

    
    T.T.T.,
    t.t.t.
    T.T.T.,
    me me me.
    t.t.t.t,
    T.t.T.t.
    me,we,me,
    t.me.we.t.me.
    we, we, we.... ;-)))))
    
    Ain't she somethin'?

    
    Mark ain't a poet
    and we all know it! ;v)))))
    
    t.

    
    
    	Hehehe...yup, he ain't no poet...:)
    
    Hey t....guess what? It's going to snow 6" here tomorrow! you'll get to
    see plenty of the white stuff on your visit...:)
    
    
    chico

    
    Ah -HAH!  I bet you're the culpit!  Did you order that snow for me?
    
    Oh here's my poem so I don't get ratholed;
    
    Snowflakes drifting softly to the ground,
    the black night engulfed in a blanket of silence.
    
    t.

    
    		
    	Friendship is a promise
    	spoken only by the heart.
    
    	It isn't given by any pledge.
    	It isn't written on any paper.
    
    	But friendship
    	is a promise
    	that is renewed
    	every time
    	two friends meet and smile
    	and enjoy the good times
    	that come from
    	simply
    	being together.
    
    	It's a promise to share
    	both glad and sad times.
    	A promise
    	to think of each other fondly
    	whether near or far apart.
    
    	Friendship is a promise
    	spoken only by the heart.
    	A promise
    	that you and I will always share.
    
    
    
    	<author unknows>

Well....Here's one from what seems like a lifetime ago....

Remember this one, Wen?  ;->


Cupcakes
---------

I brought four cupcakes in today.
I decided to give one of them away
to a dear friend who is nice and sweet.
I'd thought she'd like a treat to eat.

But then I remembered she was on a diet.
and suddenly things got awful quiet.
I stared at the cupcake on my desk
and wondered what would be the best.

Should I tempt my friend with this cupcake sweet?
Should I tempt her with this fattening treat?
"No" I said. "That would not be right".
"She's trying so hard with this dieting fight."

So I decided to do the noble thing,
and not tempt her with this cupcake fling.
And I didn't place it on her shelf,
but I ate the cupcake myself.

And that's what I did with the other three,
Cause I'm a good friend to her you see.
But now I'm wondering why would it be,
That she is now not speaking to me?

Hamp-Animal

As you know my friend and I, had a little tiff,
Twas o'r a little cupcake, from me to her a gift.
I ate the little cupcake, which made her sort of mifted.
And after kissing and making up, our friendship is still nif.....ty.

Hamp-Animal

    
    
    	It's wondrous what a hug can do.
    	A hug can say, "I love you so"
    	or, I "hate to see you go."
    
    	A hug is "welcome back again,"
    	and "great to see you...where've you been?"
    
    	A hug can soothe a small child's pain,
    	and bring a rainbow after rain.
    
    	The hug, there's no doubt about it,
    	we scarcely could survive without it!
    
    	A hug delights and warms and charms,
    	it must be why God gave us arms.
    
    	Hugs are great for fathers and mothers,
    	sweet for sisters, swell for brothers.
    
    	Kittens crave them, puppies love them,
    	heads of states are not above them.
    
    	A hug can break the language barrier,
    	and make travel so much merrier.
    
    	No need to fret about your store of 'em;
    	the more you give, the more there's of 'em.
    
    	So in this season of love and merriment,
    	give the gift worth giving:  HUGS!!!!
    
    
    
    	<author unknows>

    "Roses are red,
     Violets are blue,
     Some poems rhyme,
     But this one doesn't."
    
    Anon

				The smell of lilacs...




I drive blindly the route I know so well
Looking at my watch to see if I'll be late,
Wondering why I really care,
Or even, if I do,

The black snake slithers monotonously on,
Trying to toss me from it's back,
I steer as it moves this way and that,
Laughing at it's hopeless fight,

Questions, thousands of them,
Running like a mad river through my mind,
They engulf my thoughts in a torrent of uncertainty
And leave me with no answers,

An image of you creeps out of it's cage
And I quickly lock it away again,
The pain, the memories are too much for me,
It's easier to forget than forgive,

I flick the dial on the radio,
Nothing but static,
So I shut it off
And listen to the silence,

The smell of lilacs permeates the air,
Breaking the monotony of exhaust and tar,
I breath deeply natures soft perfume
And look at the rain clouds ready to burst...




						James P. Sadin

						   5/14/91

		Lunatics, Lovers and Poets

		Lunatics go to live inside the moon
		Wrapped in a cloak of darkened insanity.
		The quicksilver world defines
		reality's face, apart
                from the erratic scribling of
                a derelict child's hand.
		Reality described by idiot savants, who calculate
		return on investment, cannot define
                love, life, anything that probes
                beyond the superficial facade of numbered statistics.
		We connect for minutes in the maelstrom,
		then part; and in parting, despair:
	        And in despair, we create,
                A word, a line in which to expose our innermost pain,
		hoping that a waiting heart
		will hear and make connection.
                We hug these thoughts tight,
                if only for just fleeting moment;
		then move on to offer our hands and our hearts
		in this world once again.


		
			Lynn Harountian and James Sadin 

                               By Your Own Hand




Your friends are here
To mourn your passing
Your life is now ended
Taken by your own hand,

People talk of better days
When you would laugh at life
And then they look at your lifeless body
And burst into tears,

They do not conceal the pain
For they care not who notices
Boys who have become men
Now weep openly for you,

As I kneel in front of your coffin
I study the lines of your face
They are rigid now 
Frozen forever in deaths trance,

Your hands hold rings
That have been gifts over the years
But you can no longer see them
For your eyes have closed forever,

And as I walk away 
I realize the painful truth
All this hurt is over your life
That was taken by your own hand...





                                    James P. Sadin

                                       7/20/90

Dedicated to Aimee Renee Brunelle who took her life on July 15, 1990 at the age
of 20. May she rest in peace...

    
    	chico.... .8  brot tears.... real nice.... I'm sorry for your
    		loss but that poem says it all!
    
    	>M<

    
    
    
    
    	thanks hun. It was a long time ago, but her memory stays fresh in
    my mind due to her gravesite being 1mile down the road....she's got a
    zeppelin song on her stone...
    
    "If the sun refused to shine,
    I would still be loving you....."
    
    
    chico

    Tragic .... so very tragic.
    
    I'm glad you could express your pain so well, chico.
    
    Hugs,
    Serenity

    Kind of ironic that you put that note in today, Chico.  A friend of
    mine went to a funeral this morning for a friend who committed suicide
    last weekend. )-:
    
    Also, I know what the family went through, as my brother committed
    suicide almost 5 years ago.
    
    thank you for putting it in, Chico.  It's really wonderful.
    
    Holly
    

    
    
    	re: Holly
    
    	I'm sorry to hear about your brother Holly....that must have been
    very difficult for you and your family.
    
    	re: Serenity
    
    	Thanks you for the compliment. I've gotten away from writing poetry
    as it proves to be a very draining experience for me (I put alot of
    emotion in my poems). My life's a bit too hectic for me to just take
    the time to collect my thoughts and put them onto paper....maybe
    someday I'll start writing again.
    
    	cheers,
    
    	chico

    
    Chico,
    
    I've seen your poetry elsewhere, and I'd agree, you do put a lot of
    emotion in them, which I have been able to feel through your words.
    
    Jackie

    
    
    	thanks Jackie...
    
    
    chico

    
    I love the cupcake poem Hamp!  cute!
    
    The poem on hugs was nice too >M<!
    
    Chico I've already critiqued your very nice poetry!  Keep it going!
    
    t.

    
    
    	...and thanks t.!
    
    
    chico (blushing with all the compliments)
    
    

    Not really poetry as such...but an extract from music.  The words
    struck me, so I thought they might be worth sharing...
    
    
    Under the endless sky
    Beneath a million stars
    Within the course of a lifetime
    How very young we are
    
    As I stumble on this journey
    Along the road to what is real
    I'm not made of steel
    
    With all the lessons of my learning
    All the strength that I possess
    Still there are mountains I wish
       I was moving
    That take much more than my best
    
    There are plans beyond my power
    There are dreams beyond my reach
    
    Oh these eyes deceive the words I speak
    Don't tell the story inside
    So don't believe the face you see
    It's only the face of my pride
    
    I'm not made of steel
    I'm not made of stone
    I can't be anything more than I'm made of
    Move heaven and earth on my own
    
    I'm only a man
    Flesh and blood is all I am
    You think I can carry the world
       on my shoulders
    That don't mean I can
    I can bend I can break I can feel
    I'm not made of steel
    
    They teach you to well to wear your armour
    But what you've learned is just a lie
    And there's a price to be paid for denying
    With every tear you cry
    Don't ever show, don't let them know
    The heart you never reveal
    Don't ask me why don't make me hide
    The pain you don't think I can feel
    
    

    This is for all of you animal lovers out there.  I found this in the
    catalog for the show that I went to this weekend.



    Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here,
    that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.  There are meadows and hills for all
    of our special friends so they can run and play together.  There is
    plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
    comfortable.  All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to
    health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and
    strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times
    gone by.

    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing:
    they miss someone very special to them;
    who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly
    stops and looks into the distance.  The bright eyes are intent; the
    eager body quivers.  Suddenly he begins to break away from the group,
    flying over the green grass.  His legs carrying him faster and faster. 
    YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally
    meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. 
    The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the
    beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your
    pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.  

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together ...


    Author unknown

    Something I've had for a LONG time ... something I should live by
    lately!
    
    
    A Dieter's Prayer
    
    Lord, grant me strength that I may not fall
    Into the clutches of Cholesterol.
    At polyunsaturates, I'll never mutter,
    For the road to Hell is paved with butter.
    And cakes is cursed and cream is auful
    And Saten hides in every waffle.
    Beezlebub's a chocolate drop
    And Lucifer's a lollipop.
    Teach me the evils of hollandaise,
    Of pasta and gobs of mayonnaise.
    And crisp fried chicken from the South -
    Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!!
    
    

    As some of you may or may not know, I grew up in a household with a
    very abusive father.  A few weeks ago I was talking with a guy I know
    and we were have an argument about why I am the way I am.  He wouldn't
    let up and the whole argument brought back a lot of bad childhood
    memories.  I then sat down and wrote the following:
    
    			THROUGH MY EYES
    
    		Look at life through my eyes,
    		and maybe then you'll see,
    		the person that I really am,
    		how sensitive I can be.
    
    		Walk a mile in my shoes,
    		and maybe then you'll feel,
    		the pain I've had to suffer,
    		how hard it is to heal.
    
    		Hear the words that I've heard,
    		and maybe then you'll know,
    		the many times I had to hear,
    		those words that hurt me so.
    
    		The life I've lived,
    		you'll never know,
    		unless you've too been there,
    		and felt the pain, and heard the words,
    		that hurt me so to hear.
    
    		I'm sure you've seen and felt the pain,
    		I'm sure you've heard the lies,
    		but you'll never know the life I've lived,
    		'til you look at it through my eyes.
    
    					-Lori E. Barr
    					 August 1994

    
    
    
    
    well said....i relate to that!!
    
    Chris
    :(

Hi Dr. Terrie,

   here is why I sometimes don't feel so phantastic. I did this
   last year, but.... it is still applicable. ;)  ;)  ;)  ;)

Enjoy!


  The River of Longing

  I'm standing at the rough banks of the wild river of longing.
  The water thunders and roars as if there is a mighty song in.
  My mind is spinning. 
  My heart's still clinging
  to a love that lonely sighs with the wind.

  The river is running wild and nothing can stop its motion.
  It sweeps away all my longing and floods it to the big ocean.
  Let's stay together
  through stormy wheather!
  Why only could we never have this chance?

  I'm standing at the rough banks of the wild river of longing.
  With my soul full of despair in tight circles I'm roaming.
  What lies between us?
  Will we always be
  two minds that never will find a joint way?

  I'm standing at the rough banks of the wild river of longing.
  The waves gurgle and swallow all my tears that slowly are dropping.
  I entrust my dreams
  all to the river
  and hope that one day they'll find their way to you.

  I'm standing at the rough banks of the wild river of longing.
  All my hope and yearning flies to you on love's strong wing.
  Love you forever.
  Will give up never.
  But all I can see is that there is no chance.

  I'm standing at the rough banks of the wild river of longing.
  The water thunders and roars as if there is a mighty song in.
  The river is running wild and nothing can stop its motion.
  It sweeps away all my longing and floods it to the big ocean.

  And one day I'll get the notion: 
  Love is just a misleading emotion.


                             Martina, Feb-94

That's wonder Martina. Did you originally write it in English? It seems to flow
too well to be translated. Are you able to think in English or do you "translate
things on the fly"?

CM (who used to dabble in French and technical German for school)

Hi CM!

   no, it was written in English. I don't even have a German translation
   for it. I have poetry in German, English and.... mixed (2 of them) ;)
   I take care of the sound, the intonation, the puns, .... somehow
   like painting: the words are my basic colours and I paint a picture with
   them.
   When I try to translate, the outcome still has the same meaning, but...
   the sound, the rhythm is gone.
   I once tried to translate all my English ones for my mom, but....
   it sounded horrible. ;)
   I don't think in any language..... I have a switch in my mind.
   I think in pictures, bursts of energy signals. The switch directs the
   outcome into a language, my retrieval system retrieves the right
   terms, the vocal cortex forms the pronounciation and that is it.
   Hence,,,,, my vocabulary base for English is not that "great", I am
   lacking elegant terms. ;)  ;)  ;)
   Therefore my language is plain and pretty straight forward.

   I can "dabble" a little in French, as well..... I tried with Chris
   on the phone. ;)

Martina_hoping_that_explains_it ;)

Here's something I did last year in November. I did 2 Aerobics classes and
some weights in addition. When I got home, I just felt..... poetic. ;)

   Heartbeat

   Just simply strolling around
   with nothing special on my mind.
   My ears still full with the lonely sound
   of that one broken romance.
   My head's still trying to unwind
   all the odds about that long lost chance.

   Baby can you hear my heartbeat?
   True love doesn't know any limits!
   If only you could hear me out there
   among the silent stars, somewhere.
   
   At the moment you left me
   I was touched by the devouring blue.
   Why, oh why will there never be
   a single moment of love.
   Once again I realize we're through.
   Blue is all my heart, my mind, my soul.

   Baby can you hear my heartbeat?
   The deepest love is always invane.
   If only you could listen someway
   and come back to me, somehow, someday.

   Years will come and years will go.
   More lovers will pass my senses.
   Some perhaps pursuade my heart to glow.
   Not even a single one
   will truly cross all my fences.
   You will always stay my light, my sun.    

   Baby can you hear my heartbeat?
   Silently the stars look down on me.
   And I realize in their shimmering light:
   No, I won't stop loving you tonight.

                           
                        Martina, November '94

	With my few words in English I've written something.. Don't judge me if
you think the vocabulary seems to be simple. I you feel something reading this,
it will be good for me...

				Be there...

If I want you
If I need you
If I miss you
Will tou be there
And love me
Will you take care
Of me

If I'm so mad
If I'm too bad
If I feel sad
Will you stay there
And kiss me
Will you take care
Of me?

If I can't sing
Everything
But I'm loving
Will you wait there
Listening to me
Will you take care
Of me?

What could I do
Whithout you
I do not Know
I feel lonely
When you leave me
I love you so...

So my baby
Come on be there
And free me
Forever take care
Of me...
							BenJ.

					written a Saturday of October 94.

	I've just read what I wrote before. Please excuse me for the mistakes
"I you feel" = If you feel
"Will tou be there" = Will you be there

	I think you've corrected these mistakes yourself.

			Please forgive me,   BenJ.

Hi BenJ,

   you asked forgiveness.....

   Shall I forgive you .... for sharing this beautiful poem with us?
   Shall I forgive you .... for brightening up my Monday morning blues?
   Shall I forgive you .... for sweet words combined, composed forming an
      enchanting truthful confession to the one you love?????

   No, I cannot forgive you. But I can thank you for colouring my day.

;)
Martina

    
    
    Benji....you missed SNARFING a 69...this is unforgivable!! :))))
    
    
    Chris
    :)

	Her name was "Helene"... I say "was" because we've spend 9 months
together. About one month after having written this and showing it to her, we
dicided to separate ourself. Anyway... Does eternal love really exist?
			Nostalgic, a litle bit,		BenJ.

	My name is BenJ, even if you have to pronouce "Benji". I won't repeat it
once more... {:-(

	Chris, what about telling us why you love to snarf a 69? I'd really love
you talk about it...
				Unforgivable at all, 	BenJ.

    
    
    Hi BenJ
    
    sorry about the mis-pronounciation....
    
    i can't tell you about 69...it would be set hidden!!! :))))
    
    Use your imagination! :))
    
    Chris
    :)

	It's easier to say that, Chris. I knew you wouldn't really answer...
Well, if there is a girl who is able to to explain us, it would change from the
subject we usually speak here.
					69% of me,	BenJ.

Hello BenJ,

   here is a girl explaining..... ;)

   Here's a scientific evaluation of the '69' snarfing issue:
  
       69 is snarfable because.....

        - it sounds funny
        - it reads the same upside down
        - it reminds of the sign of Yin and Yang

   But in my case it is definitely snarfable because it marks
   the -12th anniversary of my 21st birthday.

   And therefore it is snarfable as a mirrored event.

Enough science?????? ;)

It is also snarfable because it describes an entertaining action performed
using an interesting "personal" arrangement.

Comprend? ;)

Martina_reporting_from_the_science_division

    
    
    
    Martina said it quite well!! very diplomatic and politically
    correct...if that's possible with this issue!! :))))
    
    Chris
    :)

Hi BenJ,

   I would say: YES, eternal love exists.

   And YES is what I say, cry out, YES! I say it aloud.
   Eternal love. It exists, it dwells. You can love somebody from afar,
   your love can grow, unlimited, infinitely. Hence never answered,
   a full unrequited love, with all its rich splendour and all its
   heartbreaking pain. You can watch and admire. You can hope and
   feel, but you never can share, you never can sense anything back.
   The beloved person at the best considers you an aquaintance,
   a pal, an interesting object. So you'll get to know:
   "The deepest love is always invane."
   But then love never is invane. It lets you grow. Increases the intense
   of your personality, lets you discover the edges of your very own
   self. 

   Love can make you fly. Fly away, float in the sound of a love songs
   feeling. Fly high in the sky with the fireflies. Experience the most
   intimate touch of passion's fiery wing. It deeply moves your soul.

   And love can be forever. For me it is, always was and always will be.
   But I also know:
   "Love and Hope are just 2 words composed of 4 letters".

;)
Martina

				May I love U


I remember this day
This Saturday of May
When we met together

When I saw your blue eyes
Like the deepest blue skyes
You were mine forever

I've tried to be with you
And I've tried to be new
But it was for nothing

I thought you could love me
Like I did sincerly
But I was just dreaming

You gave me just one night
But I think you were right
Your love could not be true

And then you've gone away
Next Saturday of May
Tonight I still miss you...

							BenJ.
						One summer night in 93.

    
    
    
    SNARF!

Dear BenJ, 

that is very well done. It moves me.... to the extent of silent
tears,,,, memories..... only that I never even had one night like you did,
just .... dreams. I listened to a tape from him at a friend's house. He
even copied it for me and.... I promised him a poem for that.....

   
    Serenade to Roy

    A jolly nice red, the colour of his hair.
    Light sparkles in fuzzy bright curls.
    See him smile and watch how everywhere
    clouds are chased away like the wind plays with pearls.

    I met him at work amongst others,
    there was nothing special about him.
    A nice friendly guy like the others,
    but his hair had the sun rising in.
    I missed the presence of the pearls.

    We chatted, nice music filled the room,
    when suddenly something softly touched my soul,
    somehow enchanting the afternoon!
    I asked: "To whose music are we listening?"
    Julie answered: "It's Roy's, he plays guitar and sings."
    I stopped and tried collecting some pearls.

    I borrowed the tape, played it all days long.
    Experienced the tenderness of almost every song.
    Roy caresses and pulls her strings
    and his guitar gently weeps and sings.
    It's the kind of music that makes your day,
    moves you to look at things a different way,
    takes you out to a journey of dreams.
    I carefully touched the dreams in my pearls:
    
    Meet him in the Land of Harmony,
    dive into blue eyes explore and see
    the infinite lively world revealing.
    Sharing the expressive beauty of friendship
    together into music, on a no-end-trip,
    float in the sound of a love-song's feeling.
    Sensing the pulsating energy now emitted by the pearls.  

    Listening to the violins 
    of sundown where the blue begins.
    And the pearls start talking to me,
    opening up the full extent of their essence.
    Now I can completely fathom their presence -
    The Light, the Pearls.

    I fancy the nice red, jolly colour of his hair,
    watch the light sparkle in his fuzzy bright curls.
    Our ways soon will part, may luck embrace you everywhere.
    I open my hands, watch the silent dropping of the pearls.
                                  
                                 Martina, November 1993

	Martina, I've seen what you wrote (.264 .266, .267). It's very nice. But
what about in French? Ok, I begin...
	If you're kind with me, you're gonna have the translation after.
		See you next note... Playing with your patience,   BenJ.

C'etait formidable.... mais..... (unfortunately) mon
Francais n'est plus suffit pour comprendre.
Je seulement dit que je sense (is that right??) 
une grande affection vers ta (beloved one)...
J'ai besoin de voir ma dictionnaire (at home).

(That was great.... but..... (quel domage) my 
French isn't enough anymore for understanding.
I only say that I feel 
a great affection towards you beloved one...
I need to see my dictionary at home)

I'll print it out and will check it out when I get
home. ;)

Thank you for the lovely French!

Martina
;) 

				Emotions


Feeling
In your heart
This sadness
Which is worse
Everytime she goes away

Emotive
By the memory
Of her smile
Some nights
Sleeping a litle bit later

Just one second
Leaving everything
Imagining yourself
In one world
Lighted by her eyes only

Profiting
To be with her
Opening your wings
To fly
And dreaming to follow Icare	(if you don't know Icare, I can't help U) 

Forever
Going further
On the ways
Of love
Crossing the endless walls

One more time
Being together
Cause lovers
Are so cute
When hapyness is so rare

And dreaming
Whatever might come
Walking along the Seine		(if you don't no Paris, same thing...)
Forgetting
The storms and fogs of life...

		Hating this F*ing translation,		BenJ.


PS: Martina's right, U can't translate poetry, because of the sensivity of the
language U use...
Furthermore, my English is awfull. :{

Hey, that is unfair!
I was looking forward to spend some time with French tonight.
And now you just send out the translation.... you at least 
could have waited until tomorrow.

Because..... if I don't have to,,,,, I will never update
my French skills..... ;)  ;)  ;)  ;)

Martina_lazy_as_a_bone
;)

	Our replies are crossing themselves, it's incredible... I said, the
translation was coming next! 
			Praying to be read in intregrality,	BenJ. :(

    
    
    SNARF!!

SSSNNNAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!



Thanx for the setup Chris

;)
Martina

I did this once for a friend,,,,,


          Leader of the IRA


          His name I don't dare to say
          he's a leader in the IRA.
          He fights for freedom, in an endless silly war,
          for his people to flourish and suffer no more.
          He's the head of a group where violence resides
          and keeps his hands on their cocky young pride.

          A dark mighty prison outside of Belfast    
          that's where he saw his twin brother last.
          Two unknown graves in the yard of Long Kesh
          the places for his father and brother to rest.

          His name I don't dare to say,
          he is a leader in the IRA.
          After 300 years of ongoing war
          is there anything left still worth fighting for?
          And he pays a price that is hard and tough:
          a life with no room for just light and love.

          He once loved a woman so innocent and bright.
          Her blond hair sparkled in the mid autumn light
          when he promised her to stop and end all the fight,
          break with the IRA, and just stay at her side.

          He decided to find a way
          to stop and leave the IRA.
          But the group now let out all their violent thoughts
          and young children died in the Warrington bombs.
          Light and love were just a heartbeat away -
          but soon he had to come back to the fray.

          She wore her head low and colored one curl blue
          to mourn bout a love so innocent and true.
          Til death he now will be part of that game.
          So she walked away and never loved again.

          His name I don't dare to say
          he is a leader in the IRA.
          Now people talk about the North to be free
          and finally there is light to be seen.
          But even if sometimes all will adjust -
          one blue hair talks 'bout the love he had lost.

                           Martina, January 1994                        

			White night	(night without sleeping)


When the snow falls down
On the excited city
A forgotten silence
Sudendly surround us

We begin to dream
Lighting some candles
To keep this white virginity
And never damage it

When the snow falls down
On our forgotten lifes
We'd like to pray
For god bless it

We can even wish
Our evils finish
Runnig away from all
Our daily too ugly

When the snow falls down
On our dark years
It's life which revive
And death which is trapped...
				
							BenJ.
						This sleepless night...

PS: 	bad traduction STOP
	need dictionnary STOP
	better with rhymes STOP
	C.U 2morrow STOP

				Reguard



She might kill U with one reguard
U'll prevent all her desires
U'll forgive her to be in late
Without saying anything

For her U'll have sleepless nights
U'll look for her body without any result
Denude and carress her body
Dreamer once again

U'll have moments of doubt
And you won't be able to stop your tears
But she'll know how to keep
Your hapyness

U'll think about profiting
Of the few hours where she's with U
Cause these moments of eternity
Are never long

U'll keep in your dressed
His nice parfume allmost untuchable
The only thing knowing the needs
U can't tell her

How many time will it be necessary
For U to be with her
Cause you seems to be nothing
Wuthout her reguard...

							BenJ.


It's not a translation like it should be, but the idea of this poetry his here.

Hello BenJ,

   I like that one. It shows the utmost longing and yearning of your
   soul, your whole being ... to her. All your love flies to her on
   a rainbow and wraps her into a veil of gold.... Yet, she is not
   even touched by it.
   Fascinating.

Martina

    
    
    
    SNARF!!!
    
    
    Not only do I snarf this one!! But Martina...that poem holds
    significant meaning for me!! I like it!
    Can ya hear me Heather?? What say you?
    
    Chris
    :)

300 .....

    300 wishes on a bloomy summerday up there in Lower Saxony
    300 sighs on a breezy summernight down there at the Mediterranean Sea...
    300 times I wished I could hold you....

    yet, you never came back from the stars to me.

;)


SNNAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Martina

	... Love make U write so much, but there is allways a End.
			Ready for another century of Snarfy,		BenJ.

Sorry, my snarfff came to late.....

Well,,,, herewith I declare it a 301 SNNNAAARRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF;)

Hi Chris,

   Heather says: "I'm looking forward to my weekend vacation".

;)
Martina

	Damned! I thought I could make a good Snarf to finish this week...
						Lately,		BenJ. :(

305!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;)
SNARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFF

Martina

	Martina U can snarf anything U want if U go on writing so well. I was
ready to let a tear fall down on my Keyboard... No words to describe my feelings
reading your words...
				Another poetry? Please, just for me,	BenJ.

    
    
    
    hey Martina...have you met Heather? This one is coming over in 2 weeks!
    :))
    
    Chris
    :)

Hello my dear friend BenJ!

   I'm stunned at your sensitive soul. Your being touched by my poetry
   lets me outburst the emotional part of my human half. 
   Silent tears, like shiny pearls dropping one by one, glittering in
   the penetrant laboratory light..... dumb witnesses of an android with a
   human heart.

   Your personal name reminds me of something.....

         Sometime someday
         somehow someway
         somewhere in the nowhere
         on the rim of the timeless hill
         where time stands still
         where Venus and Mars cherish and share
         their love and friendship -
         I'll meet you there.

Just for you,
Martina   

Hey Chris!

   2 weeks only???? ;)))))))
   I'm looking forward to meeting Heather. ;)
   
   See, you asked me for doing that, didn't you???????????

;)
Martina

I once did this for a friend,,,

          Heather 
     
     
          Strolling together
          hand in hand through the heather
          my sweet brown-eyed baby and me.
          To see her is to love her.
          To touch her is to sense her.
          To hold her colours the world for me.
        
          It has been such a long time
          til this lovin' feelin' touched me.
          My heart completely missed the rhyme
          and desperation had rushed in.
          Refused to feel love for a while,
          wrapped my heart in a winter shell.
          She undoes it all, with her gentle smile,
          her soft silver voice, so well.
        
          Strolling together
          hand in hand through the heather.
          And the sun radiates around her.
          I watch the light reflecting             
          in her eyes - mystery pools with        
          all her bright innocence waiting there.  
          
          Normally I don't need love,
          am all strong and completely free.
          Now I loose myself in heaven above,
          hold her young love deep inside me.
          Enchant me with the passion in Your heart,
          fathom my soul and yearn with me.
          With you I'd like to risk a new start.
          Completely in love, til eternity.
             
          Strolling together
          hand in hand through the heather.
          My sweet brown-eyed baby and me.
          To see her is to love her.
          To touch her is to sense her.
          Never again do I ever long to be free.
        
                       Martina
         
      

	It's about time to go for me, here in Annecy. It's 18h20! Everybody's
gone for the WE. I was waiting for this too, since... Monday! But now that I'm
there I don't wanna leave U. I'd perfer my all new friends stop their work and
begin their WE at the same time...
	Well, it's not possible. Why are we so far away? I'd like to see all of
U to be able to speak with each. I'd like to brake this terminal to see you just
behind it.
	
	Come on BenJ! It's time for U to go, so just do it...
					Thank U Nike,		BenJ. ;)

    For you, BenJ,      
    
        
        I'll fly for you
    
        Fly... Hurry, spread your wings and FLY!
        Fly away, across the turquoise ocean,
        follow the clouds across the autumn sky
        follow your heart's rampaging emotion.
    
        And your imagination will guide you
        with  your soul's yearning desires
        through the day's pity and sorrow
        until you once meet what your heart requires.
    
                 Martina, aujourd'hui, maintenant, pour BenJ
                    ....  today        right now   for 
    
    

	I was triing to translate what I wrote (.312) this WE thinking about U,
but something unwaited happened, and my Note couldn't be entered...

	Thanks so much Martina, makin' me thinking that:

Though everything will push U away
Though nothing could make us be closer
We can be inside just for one day
Talking friendly to each other...

		Made for U, now, before coming back home, tenderly,  BenJ. ;)

    re .314: Will U really do?
    
    Yes I do
    
       Yes, I do, 
       I come flying to you.
       For you I will rise once again on purple wings.
       For you I will ride on the storm's sinister front
       trying to listen to what my heart passionately sings:
       An enchanting balad of modern time's tragic
       how 2 poetic souls meet by light speed's magic,
       but still never make it to meet 'en personne'   (=in person)
    
       Yes I do,
       I come flying to you.
       Beneath me the ocean stretches to infinity,
       ferocious the storms, dark clouds cloaking my view.
       My purple wings so strong, now blown away with me!
       Yet desperation and love keep me up high
       defying the fearsome elements, on my way through the sky.
       So close is the coast, so close are the lights, soon I'll be with you.
    
       Yes I do,
       I come flying to you.
       I can see land on the misty horizon! Go on, go on!
       Don't let the storms drag you and tire your mind!
       My green antennas tangle: you're telling me to stay strong!
       I can sense you are near, I collect all my power
       not to be dragged away or bent like a weakening flower.
       I try! I try! See through the storm with my eyes being blind.
    
       Yes I do,
       I come flying to you.
       The storm laughs at me, I can hear its laughter rumbling.       
       A long desperate sigh, I despair of holding out much longer.
       Red disheveled hair, broken purple wings tumbling,
       swirling through the air, a helpless toy of the elements
       the alien crushes on the water's surface and slowly descends.  
       A last fading dying thought: Why oh why was I not stronger?
    
       Yes I do,
       I come flying to you.
       Reality always seems to trick you, to push you away.
       It has no mercy on our friendship's distance-doom.
       It keeps you waiting through a lonely matinee.
       But dreams can be exchanged with the speed of light,
       making our time on the network splendid and bright.
       Giving our friendship the spot to bloom.
    
       Yes I do,
       Each day, I will come flying to you.
    
                                    Martina, 04-24, 15:30 1995
    
    Yours poetically,
    Twix
    ;)    

    re .312
    
    Hello BenJ,
    
       thank you for that wonderful poem!!!!!
       Unfortunately my French is not suffisant (sufficient) enough
       to understand it. But the few parts I comprehend talk about
       leaving all baggage and sorrows behind and go on journeying.
       and perhaps one fine day finding love again.
       I'll try to translate at home .... with the French dictionary.
    
    Yours always,
    Twix
    ;)

    Reply to .312
    
    Hello BenJ,
    
       I just tried to translate your beautiful poem. Please accept
       my apologies for my poor trial and correct me where I am wrong.
    
       Here is what I understood.....
    
    Starting Out
    
    Start out beyond any word's meaning
    for a much more beautiful world
    to take care of all his discomforts.
    
    Start out beyond a rashly act
    like in times the conquests
    recreate his planet.
    
    Start out on the first train
    without considering tomorrow
    but believing in his destination.
    
    Start out through hills and valleys
    to dream anew
    and finally find oneself.
    
    Start out hoisting the grand sail
    to repaint ones curtains    (I'm not sure about this line)
    to touch the stars!
    
    Start out when it feels necessary
    to cross the oceans
    and overcome the deserts.
    
    Start out whithout any luggage
    for new journeys
    towards unknown banks.
    
    Start out just because it is there,
    that he may see his friends
    to be finally reunited!
    
    Start out perhaps one fine day
    while meeting love
    dream away about coming back!
    
               -------------
    
    Thank you so much!
                            
    Twix

U get it Twix, I'm impressed!

Just a few details:

to repaint ones curtains => to repaint some new scenes (means : painting)


towards unknown banks => towards unknown seeshores

Start out just because it is there => Start out just because it is the only way
				      To be able to see his ::FRIENDS


					Yours Twixy,	BenJ.   ;)

    Hello BenJ,
    
       I'm glad you approve my translation. Sorry for the curtains. ;)
       And I did not get the thing with the ::friends, because ...
       you did not say ::amis (=friends in French).
       Now the last verse gets a whole different meaning.
    
    ;)
    Twix

	Twix, do U prefer the real meaning (the things I corrected) or the
things U anderstood first?
						::friendly,	BenJ.

    Hello BenJ,
    
       I liked the part better with:
    
           Start out just because it is there.
    
       because: that means somehting like : fly away, just because there
       is something to explore, fly away just into the blue sky, without
       any particular reason, just fly because you have wings.
    
       And fly and meet your ::friends and all your other friends you'll
       make on your journey.
       My interpretation was a bit more open minded.
       I put my own self into the interpretation.
    
    ;)
    Twix

    Hello BenJ,
    
       you got the deal, I'll try...... at the end of my working day
       today.
    
    ;)
    Twix

This here is a song for acoustic guitar with a heartbreaking
flute part. 
If I ever regret anything, it would be this here.
Now he's trapped. Maybe I just didn't want to become trapped,
too.

;)
Twix

          Icebergs in Boston Harbour


          This winter is really chilly and cold.
          We have icebergs in Boston Harbour.
          But don't worry I'll comfort and hold
          you in my warm arms when you come from far.
          So my true love talked to me.
          And I was looking forward to see
          the lovely icebergs floating in Boston Harbour.

          I arrived on a sunny cold day.
          watched the icebergs in Boston Harbour.
          With my true love I kicked my way
          through the sparkling snow in the Common.
          At the boat house he kissed me.
          And I was happy as can be.
          Sunlight refracted in the icebergs in Boston Harbour.

          We had a week so colourful and bright
          like the icebergs in Boston Harbour.
          Hard Rock Cafe and the Ballet at night.
          We were in love and we had each other.
          One whole week to live our love -
          a gift from guardian angels above.
          The friendly icebergs floated through Boston Harbour.

          The sun went down on a cold winter day
          spread ruby beams on the icebergs in the harbour.
          Hand in hand we dreamt away
          the last hours until my departure.
          He asked me to stay forever
          share his life and leave him never.
          Always together like the icebergs in Boston Harbour.
           
          I was afraid, couldn't stick to my love,
          could not imagine to leave my home country.
          I turned him down, flew away like a dove,
          left him in sorrow, pain and lonely tears.
          Never again did love touch my heart.
          And I would give away all I have
          to turn the clock back and see the icebergs in Boston Harbour.
          Turn the clock back, and meet him in Boston Harbour.

                                 Martina, Jan '94

    Wow!!!!!
    
    Big giant super SNNARRRRRRRRRRRRfffffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!
    
       !!!!   13 times 25    !!!!
    
    What an event.
    
    ;)
    Martina

Allo BenJ,

   je tentais encore une fois! ;)
   Voici mon "traduction".... correctes s'il vous plait.
   (I tried another time! ;)
    Here is my "translation"... please correct.)
   This time I don't have a good feeling, lots of mistakes.
   But the contents is..... heartbreaking. !!!!!

;)
Twix


What is left after love
now that one is done with it?
What is left of these beautiful days
when one was in love?

What is left of the tenderness
and the passion much too fiery?
What is left of our carresses
so consoling?

What is left of its presence
Especially of the full rich desire?
Would there be a sense in life
without its smile?
(I like the tounge twister in the original ;) )

Will one be able to forget ones eyes
making us our heart transparent?
Would there be good-byes
without the right pain?

Could one fall in love again
after what one has gone through?
Or must one for ever
rest defeated?

Shall one forget this story
not to think about it from now on? (I'm not sure...)
shall on guard in memory
these souvenirs?

What is left of our loves
right now that everything is over?
What is left after love
if not ... life?

Hello BenJ,

   do you want me to try again a translation where I only can say,
   "Sorry, but I did not understand"? 
   I only understand very little. Poetic french is not covered by
   my 100 words. But I'll try. Again. Embarrass myself. Again.

Tonight I'll try.

Twix

Empty today, isn't it. Well, time for poetry again.

This here is a poem with a story teller. At the end something
interesting happens......

Martina_always_keeps_her_promises ..... Metamorphosis!
;)


The Swan Queen's Last Song

This is the ballad that the mighty and wise Queen of Swans sings on her
last voyage. She recognized that she had lost and now all her might and
wisdom cannot change anything. She lost her lifetime companion. The
King of Swans killed himself in a battle he thought he never had a chance
to win. The time of the mighty swans is on the way down, but life goes on.
Listen to her. You can hear her fading enchanting voice coming far from
the pond's horizon:


          Life's tangled path somehow led me her
          to the final point where things become clear.
          From here I will take a look at last
          at the hidden order of the world I passed.

          Life is a struggle. For a time you get along -
          soon you're beaten. Then up again and strong.
          Up and down, war and peace, violence and love -
          all covered by life. Incredible, vivacious and tough.

          For a short period of time we shared the ride
          on life's rollercoaster together - side by side.
          Got caught by emotions like all lovers do.
          Never ending love! Pulsating eternity! Stoned crazy - WHEW!

          Well, not later but sooner we came to know:
          unfortunately nothing could stop the present flow.
          And there lies wisdom in the line I state:
          Even we cannot succeed to escape our fate.

          I looked into Galadriel's mirror - oh yes, I did!
          Life always keeps its secrets - but I opened the lid.
          Done with faked emotions you realize that nothing matters.
          HOPE and LOVE are just 2 words composed of 4 letters.

          Now at the end it is alright
          to even end this special fight.
          Never ever did I give in -
          nor gave I up. Just could not win.

          And with the end so fairly near
          - not even left one single tear -
          there is nothing that I still do fear.

          All my love I send to thee -
          this is the END. Soon - I am - FREE.

There she swims. We can watch her beyond the horizon in the ruby light
of the setting sun. Soon she will be gone forever - forever with the sun.
Tomorrow the sun will come back and spread out her light as everyday,
but the Queen of Swans will never be seen again.
Only I remain. A normal grey swan without any visible signs of majesty.
Just simply me.

       But as the time comes I will rise again and make this world mine.

Bye.

                                      Martina, July 1993

    332.......----- and now.....

    SSSnnnnaaaarrrrfffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!
    
    Giant superduper Schnapppppps Snarrrrrrrrrrrrrrf
    
       111 glasses of German wheat beer
     + 111 glasses of Scotch whisky
     + 111 glasses of Guinness
    -----------------------------------
    are a lot to drink.
    
    Cheers 333!!!!! 
    
    Martina Hicks
    ;)

    Hello BenJ,
    
       what a sad story. How sad that the poor girl felt misplaced
    in this world full of wonders. And she probably just closed her mind
    to love and friendship not to be disturbed in her own pain.
    That is serious.
    I myself think it is a great wonder to be born and been given a full
    life of several earch years to live through. I don't regret anything
    in my life and make each day a fun one. Even when other people are
    bored, I enjoy myself. And this reflects on others as well. People come
    to me when they are down and have problems. 
    I mostly cannot help them but share their pain and console them.
    Empathy.
    
    Just something hits me: you're talking about you just wanted to become
    her ::friend. This and mentioning a few other things startle me.......
    The Alien is sensitive, you know
    
    Martina

This here I dedicate to very special friends of mine.
They experienced a wonderful warm enchanting love story
and I feel with them.

;)
Martina_loves_romantic_stories


          Happy Song        
     
          Before I found you I was hanging around 
          lost in lonelyness with no foot on the ground.
          But then you bumped in my life, got it on me full drive,
          cheered me up laughed the blues away.
         
          Before I found you I was part of the night
          caught in the darkness around with no path to the light.
          Then you touched me with a sunbeam so bright
          taught me how to share your light of day.
         
          Before I found you I never had a clue
          that there was something missin in my life.
          I just went on without knowing that there is more to life. 
          More to life! Yeah.
         
          Now I know what I missed so long,
          and my heart will initiate a happy song.
          All my love I will give to you
          we'll completely start with our lives anew!
         
          Now that we're in love - float in heaven above,
          always together like a pair of doves,
          all the passion of my heart glides to you on a rainbow,
          wraps you into a slide of gold.
         
          Now that we're in love!
         
          You're tellin me you never loved someone
          the way you love me and I'm your life's sun.
          You are all what I need in life
          and one fine day I'll make you my wife.
         
          Let's sing a happy song!
       

                               Martina, April 1995                    

	"This and mentioning a few other things startle me......." I'd like Twix
to explain me why the use of the word ::friend startle her.

			Triing to forget this sad story,	BenJ.   :-{

	Twix, the songs U write, do U create the music to sing it? I love
singin, I love karaoke, but I've never learned music and I've never created a
music for the poetry I write...

					Yours musicaly,		BenJ.    ;)

    Hi BenJ,
    
       yes, I do. I create the music. I sit down with an acoustic guitar
    and play. Then the music comes. I'm not good at it, to be perfectly
    honest: I cannot play guitar. Just accords. No melody. Maybe someday
    I'll learn it. Then I sing. And then I think about the text.
    But.... I've done only 3 songs so far. You have 2 of them in here.
    Right now I don't have a guitar. When I have more time I'll buy
    one again.
    Today I would love to hide away, play and sing. Sing with a high
    heartbreaking voice that saddens your soul. Sing about tragedy,
    desperation and death. But instead I will stay here at work and
    try to focus on what I'm doing here.
    
    The term ::friend startled me, because you put it in a way that
    you could have meant somebody from this conference. That was it
    what puzzled me.
    
    Sorry, today is not my day.
    
           Blue the colour of the glacier lakes in Bavaria.
           Blue and white the colours of the Bavarian sky.
           Blue the colour of the entrance to KBO.
           Blue the colour of my heart my soul.
    
    ;(
    Twix

    
    
    Martina,
    
    I play guitar...or should I say 'used to' play guitar?...and I have
    an acoustic guitar that I have not picked up out of the case in about
    ten years.  I'm sure it needs new strings and a good dusting, but if
    you would like to borrow it until you can get one for yourself, I would
    be more than happy to let you.  No one else is using it, and it's just
    going to waste and collecting dust.
    
    Let me know, and I can bring it in.  We can do a Kimball's run and
    you can collect it.  
    
    Terrie
    

    Hello Terrie!
    
       that is so sweet of you! Would you really borrow me your guitar?
       A guitar is a good friend, you know. It feels with you, sings with
       you, weeps with you. It expresses the fine fluctuations of your
       soul and accompanies you through sorrow and joy.
       I would gladly appreciate borrowing your guitar. ;)
       Thank you so much!
       Kimballs sounds like a great idea. We could plan a Kimballs
       lunch next week.
    
    Thank you again.
    Hugs,
    Martina

    
    
    Of course I would let you borrow it!  Like I said though, 
    you'll probably need to have it re-strung.
    
    
    
    Ok, who's up for Kimballs next week?
    
    
    Terrie
    

	Hi Twix,

	I hate to see U sad like that... U're gonna make me sad too. I prefer
when U talk to me about love, even if it's over now. I prefer when U talk to me
about ya purple wings, ya heartbeats, ya desires...
	There's allways a sunshine after rain, so why worry?

	I dedicate to U a song that I love and that makes me forget my problems,
its name is "Lookin for the summer..." (chris Rea). Can U hear it, can U feel
it, yhere comes the sun, only for U...

				Yours sunbeamly,	BenJ.	;)

    Hi BenJ,
    
       I can see the sun coming. I can see the sweet sunbeams, so warm
       and tender, so enchanting, sneaking in even though the dark
       clouds outside hide the sunlight today.
       There is sunshine, everywhere, always. If the earth is hidden by
       the clouds, just fly up high enough and there will be the sun.
       And it is Friday. A lovely day, it marks the end of one working
       week and the start of the weekend. 
       This weekend my friends are gathering in Kaufbeuren/KBO Germany.
       All my friends from work whith whom I worked so long and became
       friends. They will all be there at the first ex-KBO meeting.
       All or us. Except one.
       The INS (US immigration office) did not manage to take my
       fingerprints professionally last year. So I haven't gotten my
       Greeen Card yet. And my temporary permission to stay here expires.
       I planned to go on vacation to Germany for 2 weeks, starting with
       the big friends meeting in KBO this weekend. But now, I won't go.
       Therefore the sun can shine today, everywhere, lighten up the days
       brighten up your soul, yet it won't be able to touch me today.
       That's all.
       I cannot fly with broken purple wings. 
    
    Sorry.
    Thank you for your lovely words and your warm feelings.
    They reach me and wrap me. My wings will heal next week again.
    They always do.
    
    But I will put in a nice poem for you today. Something bright with
    airy tenderness. Just for you.
    
    ;)
    Twix

For BenJ

This here is my first experiment with sound.
You can read the poem aloud and really "hear" the Wind blowing.

And .... it is a riddle. Can you find out what the Wind in the
Chimes stands for???? 

Enjoy,
Twix



   The Wind in the Chimes  

   Past and Presence now show their essence - 
   we're floating through the times.
   Timeless silver rhymes sings the Wind in the Chimes.

   Slowly drifting, the future's shifting -
   we're floating through the times.
   The endless stream is what it seems - hear the Wind in the Chimes.

   High and low we glide and glow - we're floating through the times.
   Silent sighs, like fireflies sounds the Wind in the Chimes.

   Everything swims in the cosmic stream.
   Sense its presence! Express its essence!
   Each universe's just a fantastic dream.
   All dimensions are only tensions.

   All dimensions are only tensions!

   Time is nothing more than a different mean
   to express the Chaos' mess.
   But in the overall cosmic stream
   time is sized and equalized.
   
   Floating through the times with the Wind in the Chimes.
   This universe expands, this world never ends.
   
   This universe expands, this world never ends!

   High and low we fly and flow - we're floating through the times.
   High in the skies with the fireflies sings the Wind in the Chimes.

   Floating through the times with the Wind in the Chimes.
   
   Past and Presence have NO essence -
   we're floating through the times.
   Timeless silver rhymes - 
   Everywhere's the Wind in the Chimes!

          
                           Martina, January '94

A tear fall down on my face, but it's only for U...
I allready should be gone in WE, but I just wanna stay for U...
The sun's hidden by dark clouds, but I'm gonna chaise them away for U...
I'm gonna smile for U,
I'm gonna sing for U,
I'm gonna fly for U,
If I could do anything else, I would do it just for U...

						Twixed madly,	BenJ.	:)

    Hello BenJ, my dear friend!
    
    now you're gonna make me smile. :)
    I can sense you smiling, all across the giant ocean, 4000 miles
    away. :)
    I can hear you singing. It feels so nice, I can hear your voice
    flying over with the Eastern winds. 
    Now my heart cannot close itself anymore. It opens a little and feels
    the flood of positive vibrations coming over from far away. 
    My soul no longer can cloak itself inside a mourning winter shell.
    I am laughing with you now. :)
    Go home and enjoy your long weekend. I'll write something nice for
    you tomorrow. In Boston. B-City, here I come. I'll go there with a
    knapsack and equipment: paper and pencils and.... cookies. ;)
    The sun will shine and I will write. Paint again with words, a collage
    of thoughts, feelings, a draft of my soul.
    With the voice of the skylark rising on an early spring morning.
    
    ;)
    Twix_smiling again

	I'm happy to C I manged to make U smile again on Friday. Noreason to
worry, isn't it?
					Inspiration partie...    BenJ.    :{

Hello BenJ,

   rep 6.1103: "Sing a song of love for me and I'll never be lonely."

   Ok, here we go.....

;)
Twix

   My Song of Love

   
   Love is the sun's burning ember wings
   that touch you early at sunrise.
   Wake up world can you hear it?
   The skylark up high just sings
   her song full of joy to the night that dies.

   Love is the first whispering touch
   of your hand softly caressing my hair.
   Your fingers on my skin, pulsating passion,
   I don't open my eyes yet, I can feel so much,
   moments of tenderness are filling the air.

   Love is the touch of the purple veil
   of the rainbow fairy's dragon fly wings.
   She embraces you with her emotional world
   and lovely rose coloured views prevail.
   Love and tenderness are the gifts she brings.

   Love is the touch of your mother's heart.
   She protects her children from pain
   and makes the world worth living for you
   for the time you grow up and when grown apart.
   your mother's love will always remain.

   Love is the soldier's last death wish
   when suffering and dying in the fields of war.
   When victory is hopeless and no chances left,
   Love to his people is his hope's only niche
   and makes his death worth living for.

   Love comes in all colours and shades.
   It cannot be defined, no rules be applied.
   Love lives in our souls, in our hearts!
   It touches us deeply and pursuades
   ourselves to live again openly wide.

   Love is the sun's glowing ember wings
   that touch you at another day's end.
   Sleep well world, love comforts your dreams.
   Dream deeply to the lullaby that sings
   in your sleep. Feel the night's caring hand:
   
   Love is alive!

                Martina, May 1995

					Anymore


	Sing a song of love to me
	Tell me U love me like I do
	And I'm gonna be there dayly
	For U...

	Sing a song of love to me
	As the winds begin to hawl
	And U're never gonna see
	Me fall...

	Sing a song of love to me
	In our love we have to believe 
	Cause time will be there quickly
	To leave...

	Sing a song of love to me
	In this world of fears and alarms
	U know I need desesperately
	Your arms...

	Sing a song of love to me
	Before U turn off the light
	And everything's gonna be
	Allright...

	Sing a song of love to me
	When we walk along this seeshore
	And I'll never be lonely
	Anymore...

								BenJ.
							      May 1995

PS: Some words are not mine, please forgive me for this, but the thougths are
mine, and I'm proud of them...

    I'm dreaming about you...
    
    ;)
    Twix
    
          Dreams


          Dreams are the colours of a world that never ends.
          Open your soul to all what you can sense.
          Listen to the songs of the fireflies in the sky.
          Dream with all the living things and fly!


          Dreams are the wings of the Pegasus that soars.
          Feelings break through, fling open all the doors.
          Sense the world's beauty and brighten up your day.
          Sing with the world and dream your life away.


          Dreams are essential that this world never ends.
          They colour the world and fill up all our sense.
          Without any dreams life would just be one sad day.
          Never let anybody take your dreams away!


          Open yourself and your dreams will stay!
          

                                   Martina, for BenJ

    Oops, I just recognized.......
    
    The date of my poem "Dreams" (entry 16.352) is missing.....
    I did it with a complete hangover on January 1st 1994.
    
    Btw my picture in 16.351 was originally posted in another conference.
    It shows Lieutenant Commander Martina-Data, the android/alien.
    But it is not completely accurate: my Collani glasses are missing.
    
    Sorry folks
    ;)
    Martina-Data

This here is for everyone who likes this Friday to 
be over soon.

;)
Martina

          Green Zeppelin                  


          High in the sky
          dance with the clouds.
          Fly with the swans in the wind
          and light up your soul.
      
          High in the sky
          dance with the clouds.
          We're free and follow the winds in our Green Zeppelin.
          Silently floatin'
          drift on a sunbeam.
          Sorrow and pain left below us on the earth.
          Whenever you feel down
          no sunlight around,
          feel free and join our team on the Green Zeppelin.
      
          Sittin' in a stuffy office, workin' all day long
          is only worth to earn the living.
          After a time you long to feel strong
          (and) wanna change this style of living.
      
          High in the sky
          dance with the clouds.
          Watch the world deep below us
          still strugglin through the day.
      
          So during the week we work as hell and do our best
          to give our boss satisfaction.
          But on the weekend we care less and rest.
          Give no thought to work and start action!

          High in the sky
          dance with the clouds.
          Finally free for the beautiful
          bright side of life.
      
          High in the sky
          dance with the clouds.
          We're free and follow the winds in our Green Zeppelin.
          Silently floatin'
          drift on a sunbeam.
          Sorrow and pain left below us on the earth.
          Whenever you feel down
          no sunlight around,
          feel free and ride with the winds on the Green Zeppelin.

                              Martina, Feb 1994
    

    The picture I put in here temporarily is now moved to its reserved 
    final location in the introductory topic:
    
                   3.347
    
    ;)
    Martina

Hello BenJ my dear friend with imaginary wings!

  The only thing I wrote the last couple of days was.......
  .... C++ and Assembler. ;) 
  Hey I'm very happy for you that your program runs!!!! That is a great
  achievement. I know how you must feel now.
  Oh, what a shame thing to confess: I had no time for poetry.....
  Work work work for the last 4 weeks. So this week I just went to the 
  Health Club to work out after work was done.
  After these last 4 weeks of not having done anything  I'm slowly but surely
  getting back from Rainbow- to Bronto-Fairy. (Brontosaurus Fairy) ;)
  And a Brontosaurus is too heavy to fly. :(
  I can spread my purple wings and flap helplessly, but..... I cannot lift
  myself from the ground anymore. So here I stay, stuck on the surface like
  everybody else, an alien with wings but too big to fly.
  My friends say I only gained weight in my mind, but I certainly feel like
  it. Everything still fits but I feel like having swallowed a vice of some
  sort. I feel unable to fly right now.
  Right now I'm so to speak stuck in the....


  Everyday's Blues

  So I'm walking lonely down the alley
  through the blossom covered valley
  unable to sense the nature's beauty:
  my mind just caught up by daily duty.

  Instead of dreams of soaring spirits
  I am just trapped in "normal" limits
  that people put up all around you.
  And now even I do succumb to.

  But I know that soon I will fly again
  splendour my mind and rise again.
  Spread out my purple wings and see what's out there
  Behind the everydays grey curtain somewhere.

  Break through the clouds and see the light.
  Let the sunbeams catch me in a dream that might
  chase the clouds away and turn myself loose.
  But until then I'm stuck in the Everyday's Blues.

  ;)
  Twix

				Des cendres


Night's coming slowly
And I'm lonely once again
I tried to find her but now I'm tired
Desperately I'm waiting for the rope
To hang myself

I won't have been able to tell her
The feelings I had for her
Life is so short
By her sides I wanted to live
She's so tender

One day will come I'll forget her
For a smile for some caress
But in my heart I'll keep to her
The litle place
Still inoccupied

We're only 21 years old
We've so much to discover
A love sorrow is not eternal
Tomorrow these sad souvenirs
Will be reduced to ashes...
							BenJ.

				Quelques verres


Saturday of November
I can't wait more
For your return from darkness
Cause my life is funeral
Without U

I hear the hours ringing
Waking up my pain
And I drown my sorrow
I drink on my way
Of the cross

U won't be back anymore
I'm sure of this
I can't smile anymore
U know I'm gonna die
Of cold

Continually I fight
To forget your arms
Which clasped me so strongly
As if U wanted to tell me
Once more

Once more my hands
Caressing the satin
Of your lovely skin
It's true I die of desire
For U

My eyes are dryed
Too much tears felt down
Hope has gone away
There ain't any life
In me now

U're allways in the dreams
Which obssess me every night
More and more every day
I miss your love
Why

I think about future
Throwing away these souvenirs
My bottle in the sea
Containing these few words
For U...
							BenJ.

     
                       PARTY...(what party?)
    
    
    Wake up in the morning with a pain in my head
    an empty bottle of vodka beside my bed,
    
    a drag my self up walk across the floor
    did i have a good time the night before?
    
    Now i remember a party, friends all around
    as i fall over beer bottles and land on the ground!
    
    My records lie all over the place
    my house is just a blooming disgrace
    
    Tidy it up,	every thing nice and neat
    well at least till we party again next week!!!.
    
    :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
                                       by  Katrina 18/9/90
    
    

	I love your poetry, cause it makes me think about several parties I've
done in my appartment. Each time, on morning (or afternoon?) it's very hard to
wake up, but furthermore when U see the real mess in it, U ask yourself how will
U be able to cean it before next party!...

			Kat, next party, think about me...	BenJ.	;)

    Hey Katrina, that was fun! It reminds me of some numerous events on
    my own.........;)
    Do you have more poetry like that?????
    
    ;)
    Martina

				To ::FRIENDS



Sometimes dream
Sometimes primal scream
Sometimes Kimball Ice cream

Sometimes took
Sometimes in the Nook
Sometimes just have a look

Sometimes receive
Sometimes assertive
Sometimes oh please forgive

Sometimes fly
Sometimes no reply
Sometimes only a try

Sometimes say
Sometimes Holly-day
Sometimes Thanxs God It's Friday

Sometimes none
Sometimes me alone
Sometimes where have they gone

Sometimes free
Sometimes too busy
Sometimes have a party

Sometimes fun
Sometimes set hidden
Sometimes sea s*x and sun

Sometimes check
Sometimes to the Jake
Sometimes watchin Star Trek

Sometimes shame
Sometimes just the same
Sometimes word association game

Sometimes sing
Sometimes nothing
Sometimes most favourite thing

Sometimes send
Sometimes this is the end
But forever and ever ::Friends...


								BenJ.
							For U all, last night.

    
    
    BenJ!!!!  That was great!  I love it!  Thanks for making
    my morning with that!
    
    
    Terrie
    

    
    
    set up for --->

    
    
    
    snarf!!

    
    
    
    Benj..yeah I loved that one too!!
    
    
    Chris
    :)

    A gorgeous day in Boston! Hot sunshine, swanboats, sailing boats on
    the Charles River and... gorgeous guys on Rollerblades...
    The genuine inspirational environment for me. ;)
    
    Here's the result, this time a lighter "Martina style"
    Almost the right style for a song..... ;)
    
    
    I need you so
    
    I watch the clouds
    drifting along the blue horizon.
    Silent white boats
    like sails on a turquoise ocean.
    Always so near but yet so far
    that's where you are.
    
    I need you so.
    Oh yes, I need you so!
    Like the cloud needs the wind.
    Like the sun needs the sky.
    I need you by my side.
    
    I love your eyes
    saphires so blue, so open your soul.
    Your silent sighs
    tell me about your desire for a world less cruel.
    I can read your dreams but can't get in.
    How can I win?
    
    I need you so
    Oh yes, I need you so!
    Like desire needs passion.
    Like a dream needs the night.
    I need you by my side.
    
    Yes, baby, I need you so.
    
               Martina, June 1995

    Boston, I should go there again..... this city so inspiring,
    so full of vibrations, so lively .....
    I tried to use today's language to express that in my last 3
    creations. 
    
    ;)
    
         If I Had Wings
    
    
         Just one of them days...
         I'm at home thinking about you.
         Just one of them days...
         With nothing left but dreams to cling to.
         Lonely thinking about all the wonderous things
         if I had wings.
    
         If I had wings
         to carry my love to you,
         would you come back?
         I'd make it up to you.
    
         Just one of them days...
         You're gone and you closed the door.
         Just one of them days...
         I lost all my dreams, no love, no more.
         All that's left is just my heart that breaks,
         no wings for me.
    
         If I had wings
         to carry my love to you,
         would you come back?
         I'll give all my love to you.
    
         If I had wings
         I'd come flying to you.
    
                       Martina, July 1995
                       Alien with green antennae and purple wings. ;)

    
    
    I went to register at the local police station as an Alien ( lined
    up for my own set of purple wings and antennae ) 
    - I waited 30 mins only to be told...you are a member of the
    commonwealth, so you don't need to be registered as an alien.
    - No purple wings for me! :(
    
    Chris
    :)

    Oh Chris, my dear, poor Captain and beloved Dark Lord.....
    I feel so terribly sorry for you.... ;( ;)))))
    
    But BenJ is right..... not everyone can be alien..... 
    
    Think about it that way: if all of us had purple wings and green
    antennae... the world would be quite noisy..... all this flapping and
    wobbling!!!!!
    
    ;)
    Martina-Data, unique example of an exotic species

Please everybody, bear with this one...... ;)))
It is *not* the usual "highly lyrical and expressive Martina style".......
And I feel terribly sorry for the poor guy .....

;)))))
And don't set me hidden, ok?



          Almost Eleven
        
          
          I rush to work everyday to earn my living.
          I satisfy my boss and think that I'm giving
          the perfect example of a successful workoholic
          but - all I represent is just a perfect idiot.
          I'm getting tired but there's still so much to do
          And my girlfriend is waiting with dinner for us two.
          I promised to come over no later than seven...
          But ... 
          Darn, F*ck, Sh*t.... it's almost eleven!
        
          It's almost eleven
          Yeah it's almost eleven.
          When I think no way it can be later than seven...
          Time fling, time sling
          I turn around: It's almost eleven.
        
          So I grab the phone and at least try to call her.
          Upset she tells me it's the last time I fooled her.
          Then she wishes me to hell and slams down the headset
          while I still figure out all the "nice" words she said...
          To hell with her anyways. Love's nothing but a mess
          Women only try to salvage you and give you stress.
          You want fun then it's too late and you're in heaven.
          And ...
          Darn, F*ck, Sh*t.... it's almost eleven!
        
          It's almost eleven
          Yeah it's almost eleven.
          When I think no way it can be later than seven...
          Time fling, time sling
          I turn around: It's almost eleven.
        
          I decide to get home and watch my favourite tv show.
          With a glass of whisky and a beer I'm winding low.
          But of course there's nothing on but late night media:
          David Letterman, Married with Children and other trivia.
          I'm glad I got out of it. What's love others but a drag
          when there's still more beer and whisky in the keg?
          Obnoxiously drunk and in delirium heaven
          I...
          decide to go to bed cuz it's way past eleven!
        
          It's almost eleven
          Yeah it's almost eleven.
          When I think no way it can be later than seven...
          Time fling, time sling
          I turn around: It's almost eleven.
 
                             (No, I don't sign this one. ;)))) )

	Thanx Twixy for making me smile in this last Friday here...

	Thanx for helping me to forget it's the last day I see my cousins before
long...
	Thanx for showing us another side of your unique "style"...

	Thanx for being U and just U...

				Merci, merci, merci...		BenJ.	;)

    It is empty in here without BenJ. :(
    He is gone and with him the time for enchanting poetry. :(
    The time he was roaming this topic always made me smile.
    Now I feel like the person in my "Autumn Thoughts" poem:
    
         BenJ went with the sun and took the laughter away.
         Grey lonelyness is creeping inside my soul each day.
         His months full of romance and enchanting poetry
         will stay unforgettable treasure forever for me.
    
    I drop my wings and refuse to fly, the winds beneath them ... are gone.
    
    May luck embrace him everywhere he goes.
    
    Twix

			Life and Glory

	I know not, know not what holds me back,
	The thought of the futility of it all,
	Vainglory and the truth of perpetuity in it all,
	
	Yet, the other side of me, pines to free,
	Free, rise, shine and conquer it all,
	Laps of luxury, glory, fame and all,

	Each passing moment befuddles me ever more,
	A life of cupidity and pompous attire, 
	Pass me by as i stare at walls that pare,

	The grandeur, the glory in all forms of life,
	The myriad potions of nature beyond compare,
	Stay, Enjoy all that is there, while you are here,

	Yonder we reach, when finally dust we do become,
	Not Pride, Not power, will the world know us by,
	But Love, Kindness and a Soul, oh that cared.
	
<Luv & regards to all>,
    
Sush.
10/13/95.

    
                     Wonderous Creation
    
    
    When I, once in a tumult lay,
    in pensive mood I took a stroll,
    and then in rest along the way
    I sat upon a grassy knoll.
    Whilst pondering I glanced about
    and suddenly it seemed to me
    that all my worries, fears and doubts
    took leave and let my mind go free.
    I heard the whispering of the trees
    I felt the coolness of the earth
    I all at once knew total peace
    As nature showed me all its worth.
    When finally to my feet I rose
    and started back along my course,
    I knew just how creation shows
    the wonderous wholeness of her source.
    
    
    
     Shelley  22.11.95

    
    
    
    ahhh so you're the famous poet, Shelley!!! :)))
    
    nice poem Shell
    
    Chris
    :)

    
    
    or should I have said "Infamous" ?? :)))
    
    Chris
    :)

Beautiful, Shelley. I've had that feeling as well once or twice. You really
captured it for me

    
    Just a short Poem - for all of you...
    
    
    
                FRIENDS
    
    
    
    
    You meet all kinds of people
    Along lifes winding lane,
    The kind that make you happy.....
    The kind that cause you pain.
    And then there are those people
    In a class above the rest..
    They give your life fulfillment,
    They make your days the best,
    They're there through all lifes turmoils
    each winding turn and bend
    Those very special people
    We choose to call our friends...
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Shelley
    

    
    *sniff*..... Thank you, Shelley. *;))))))
    
    Ravi.

    See ya Rav....
    
    Paula

    Is Ravi short for Raviolli...???

    Lurvely poem Shell doll, I do luv ya..
    
    Paula

    
    heheheheheh... No Paula I'm not sphagetti.. *8))))) and neither am I
    italian. *8)
    
    Ravi.

    Wonderful poem, Shell. Glad to be counted among such wonderful friends.

    
    
    
     Thanks for the lovely poem Shell
    
    Chris
    :)

    After awhile you learn
    the subtle difference
    between holding a hand
    and chaining a soul
    
    And you learn that love
    doesn't mean leaning
    and company doesn't
    mean security and you
    begin to understand that
    kisses aren't contracts
    and presents aren't promises
    
    And you begin to accept your defeats
    with your head held high
    and your eyes open
    with the grace of a woman
    not the grief of a child
    
    You learn to build 
    your roads on today because
    tomorrow's ground is too
    uncertain for plans
    and futures have a way of
    falling down in midflight
    
    After awhile you learn that
    even sunshine burns you if you
    get too much
    So you plant your own garden
    and decorate your own soul
    instead of waiting for someone
    to bring you flowers
    
    And you learn
    that you can really endure
    that you are really strong
    and you really do have worth
    
    And you learn and learn ....
    And you learn with every good-bye
    You learn

	Serenity, that is beautiful...and very close to home.

	Lola

indeed. I was thinking the same thing.

    
    
    I relate to that too! Very beautiful!
    
    Chris
    :)

An ode to a snarf...

SNARF! SNARF! SNARF!
SNARF! SNARF! SNARF!
SNARF! SNARF! SNARF!

H.  :o)

My dog, my dog is called SNARF!
"But why is your dog called SNARF!"?
The people ask
He lost his teeth when he was just five-and-half
I said, I said
So now he cannot growl and be proud
He just laughs and puts on a SNARF!


H.  :o}

    Paula giggles

I hope you make a full recovery, Henry... 8^)

Thanks for the concern CerebralMan, but I've always been like this -
barking mad, that is...  :o)

H.

Woof, woof ("me too" from someone nicknamed maddog in college)

    Tick Tock Tick Tock
    Time is running slow 
    Tick Tock
    Tick Tock
    Time is standing still
    Tick Tock  Tick
    IT IS TIME TO KILL.

    
    
    	Hmmm...very cheery.
    
    

    THANK YOU. I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY. NEXT ONE WILL BE CHEERFUL. -K-

    
    
    	I'm afraid that last reply had to be set hidden. A bit over the
    edge me thinks.
    
    
    	chico (wearing his mod hat)

    Like a lonely thief in the night
    I silently fade away out of sight
    Never again shall I be found
    By TYRANTS who would hunt me down
    
    I shed a tear for all of my ::FRIENDS
    For I fear we shant meet ever again
    I bid adieu to both you and my pain
    I have been through HELL and I refuse to go there again
    
    For the sake of so few so many other must die
    Only memories can keep past ::FRIENDS alive
    I walk out of the light and greet the shadows
    You know my yesterdays but not my tomorrows
    
    Do you think a man's heart's made of stone
    Well, my ::FRIENDS, I am made of flesh and bone
    Feel my heart beat - cut me and watch me bleed
    Words wound more than weapons because they cut so deep
    
    So for those who would like to see me hung
    Have no fear for now my last song is sung
    I am nothing but a mute you shant hear another word
    Some people shant been see nor should they be heard 

    
    
    
    well....that's cast rather a gloom over the note! :))))
    
    
    

    erm.......we're only messing Chris:: - Thats how I am sometimes first
    thing in the morning!!  :-)))...just plain quiet and grumpy!
    
    
    Deb_happier_now!

Hi All,

Got this from one of my friends, thought it will fit in here though I
occasionally peep into this Notes topic (Poetry & Favourite Quotes). This is 
neither a poem nor a quotation but all the same I liked it.


				FRIEND


They say, 
	"Having a friend multiplies our joy and divides our sorrow."

That's how it's been for us. Remembering the good times we've shared makes me
smile all over again. And thinking of the times I've needed you to lean on
reminds me how lucky I'm to have you for a friend.

	"The language of friendship is not mere words but meanings"

We can laugh before the punch line when we share a joke. We can agree on the
same opinion or come to the same decision without saying a word. And even when
we disagree, we can enjoy the sparks that fly ! That's friendship.

	"A friend is someone who knows your fault & likes u just the same"

I know we are not perfect (at least I'm not) and it means so much to be friends
with someone who knows what's important. I'm thankful hurt feelings never last
between us.

		"There is no better mirror than a friend" 

Inspite of what all those self-analysis books say, sometimes believing in
yourself just isn't enough. You need a second opinion....an opinion you
trust.Then it is great knowing we can look to each other for the reflection
that says, "I believe in you ...hang in there !"

When a friend says...
		"There is no tomorrow..."

I hope you never hesitate to call on me. I'm here to give you a helping hand, a
pat on the back, or even a kick in the pants. Whatever you think you need just
yell. I know I can depend on you to do the same for me.

		"A real friend is the person who comes in 
		 when the rest of the world has gone out"

I hope that the really rough times never happen. But whatever we face, I feel
that together we can be twice as strong, twice as stubborn, and twice as smart
as the rest of the world. At least one of us may be able to see the humor in
the situation.

	Everyone needs someone to laugh with, lean on, talk to, turn to.
		"A friend is a present you give yourself"
			I give me....You.

Anonymous

    
    
    I like that!
    
    Chris
    :)

    
    Thats really beautiful - aint it great to have friends :-))
    
    
    
    
    
    Shelley

    Into the q, there came a P1
    Immediately something had to be done
    It was dumped into the queue
    Nobody knew..
    Who said this job was fun?
    
    
    
    Deb_disgruntled_with_someone!

    She had this young man called Luke
    who legs were so long he took steps by the leap!
    he was sweet and niaev
    Paula never could leave
    She just had to get rid of the Sheep!
                                                    

    Boredom is like a hole in the head!
    You don't wanna be here - you wanna be dead!!
    
    
    
    And on a lighter note!!
    
    
    
    Boredom is great and gives ya time thoughts!
    OF food, and alcohol and all other sorts!
    
    Mmmmmmm...cheesy huh?
    
    S..x

    Should've been time for thoughts!
    
    S..x

Hi,
    
    Long time no entries here ? 
    
    Well here is one serious and depressing one 
    
    
    
			     	Questions
				---------

	Why does the mind fear the beats of the heart ?
	Why is it you go dumb when you have so much to say ?
	Why is silence eloquent to you but nothing to others ?
	Why is it you reach out only to feel the void ?
    	Why does your soul search for meanings when there are none ?
	Why is there no peace for the inquisitive mind ?
	Why is it you are alone at Life's crossroad ?
	Why is it you feel lonely amidst a crowd ?
	Why are you in a different world amongst familiar faces ?
      	Why this urge to tread a new path when you can see footprints 
			and an easy path ?
	Why this discomfort when you rest on a soft pillow ?
	Why does it ache so much when your ideals crumble ?
	Why ? Why ? Why do so many questions go unanswered ?
         

    I like that!!!! 80)
    
    S..x