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Conference unifix::sailing

Title:SAILING
Notice:Please read Note 2.* before participating in this conference
Moderator:UNIFIX::BERENS
Created:Wed Jul 01 1992
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2299
Total number of notes:20724

465.0. "Things to hate about sailing" by CSSE::COUTURE () Thu Jan 15 1987 15:56

    The action on this file has been a little slow lately!  Sure Dennis
    Connor is surprising the Kiwis and Walt Clark got a new anchor
    for Christmas.  But somehow, there doesn't seem to be enough
    controversy despite the best efforts of Mr. Berens.  So here goes!
    
    Despite all of the wonderful reasons we sail, there's plenty to
    hate.  Personally, I hate it toward the end of the season when my
    bottom paint gives out and I have to go over the side to sponge
    off the botanical gardens that have accumulated there.  For some
    reason, millions of tiny shrimplike creatures call it home and don't
    seem to understand the concept of drag.  They become quite annoyed
    when you destroy the comfortable green slime where they live, mate
    and hold bowl games for their favorite shrimp athletes.  In
    retribution, they join forces and launch a mass attack on my swimtrunks
    because they instinctively know that that's where humans are most
    vulnerable.
    
    Fortunately, I've put on enough weight over the years so that the
    waistband of my trunks is impregnable to any creature over one micron.
    Still, when you climb back on deck enough of them remain attached
    to your body that you feel like Bogie on The African Queen.  Tell
    me, where's the sheer joy in that?
    
    So how about you?  Surely there's "something" you hate about sailing?
    
    Encore un ete
     

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
465.1USMRW6::RNICOLAZZOBetter living through chemistryThu Jan 15 1987 16:233
     How about that "special" weekend you plan a month in advance which
    inevitably turns out to be cold weather, rain, and no wind.

465.2Spring and fallAGNT99::HAYSCome on snow!!Thu Jan 15 1987 17:5615
SPRING!!!!:

When I have do do all those little fixups and getreadys.

FALL!!!

When that last sail of the year to the boat yard must take place.



Also, you can't sail then and you usually can't ski then!!


Phil

465.3WATCH THE BOOMROLL::DUFFYThu Jan 15 1987 18:493
    GOING NORTH INTO CAPE COD CANAL WITH A FOLLOWING SEA WITH NO WIND

465.4One Up?NECVAX::RODENHISERThu Jan 15 1987 19:428
    Re: .-1
    
    How about heading south from the canal into Buzzards Bay with the
    tide, wind AND tug under tow all coming at you?
    
    John_R
    

465.5PULSAR::BERENSAlan BerensFri Jan 16 1987 10:3610




			*** POWERBOAT WAKES ***




465.6USMRM1::GFALVELLAFri Jan 16 1987 12:382
    finding a cotter pin on the deck

465.7USMRM2::JONESholding a fair tideFri Jan 16 1987 12:586
    			HATS that sink too fast !
    
    	I lost a nice NASA hat that we picked up from Florida, and the
    1st mate lost a nice HAWAII hat. We clip them now! (good man-overboard
    practice though !)

465.8glasses sink fast too!ROLL::DUFFYFri Jan 16 1987 14:596
    .7
    
    Don't forget all those pairs of sunglasses that went swimming on
    their own.

465.9What do you do with one?AGNT99::HAYSCome on snow!!Fri Jan 16 1987 15:065
And _ONE_ shoe!


Phil

465.10NE windBPOV09::TMOOREFri Jan 16 1987 15:075
    Northwest wind in Sakonnet harbor !
    
    
    

465.11a bad day on a boat > a good day at workGRAMPS::WCLARKWalt ClarkFri Jan 16 1987 15:3317
    I do not HATE any of it. There are things that come pretty close.
    
    
    40' power boats on a full plane out there somewhere in the fog
    
    Changing engine oil
    
    .0 (amen)
    
    the animals that frequent Potter's Cove from Memorial Day to Labor
    Day
    
    people who pay out 600' of anchor line in 10' of water, then go
    ashore for 3 days (really!  and at Block Is over the 4th!)

    etc

465.12High and dryBCSE::SUITSFri Jan 16 1987 17:543
	Delivering a boat from Bermuda only to arrive in Stonington, CT
	15 minutes after the liquor stores closed for the weekend.

465.13Cake and eat it too!LILAC::MAYOFri Jan 16 1987 20:1514
    1.  Forking over the dough to monopolistic marinas/boat yards.
        Profit ok, but not to excess.  (what is excess?)
    2.  Insurance premiums.
    3.  Equipment costs.
    4.  Supplies costs.
    ----------
    Gee, looking at the above I guess I want a free ride (sail).
    I guess the only real "HATE" I have is for the marina store manager
    who would not shake up my bottom paint (1 other customer browsing)
    because I did not buy it there...
    
    Tom
    

465.14ADS::MACKINNONFri Jan 16 1987 21:5912
    
               THINGS TO HATE, HATE, STRONG WORD
    1.DEC badges that sink in forty-five feet of water
    2.umbrellas that sink, ok, I had just finished of 4 bottles of wine
    with three freinds. When I decided to row back to my boat(for more
    wine) I thru theumbrella into my dingy but missed it by 6 feet.
    3.Power boaters that pass real close on light air days, then as
    my spinaker is mating with my mast THEY wave.
    4.SANDING
    5.leaks
            Donald

465.15WE ALL HAVE OUR SHAREDSSDEV::RUDYSat Jan 17 1987 12:085
    1. Pulling a four year old from the drink.
    
    2. Coming within a few feet of a tow line in near gale conditions.
    

465.16DEC badgesAGNT99::HAYSCome on snow!!Sun Jan 18 1987 12:299
RE:.14 by ADS::MACKINNON 

>    1.DEC badges that sink in forty-five feet of water

YES.  My first day of work, I lost my badge this way!  Hard to explain
isn't it!

Phil

465.17Boat payments!CYBORG::CORKUMCYBORG::/FRSBEE:: CORKUMSun Jan 18 1987 13:085
    How about those boat payments you have to make during the winter!
    
    bc
    

465.18more madnessRDF::RDFRick D. FricchioneSun Jan 18 1987 19:21110
    God... this is fun!
          
    By category:                         
    
    SAILBOATS
    ---------
    1. The little ways in which Naval architects wage war on the bare
       human foot (padeyes, winches, strategically placed stays, etc).
    
    2. The engine spaces that require a spagetti armed, plier fingered
       alien to do something as simple as change a filter.
    
    3. The occasional condensation over your berth that turns into chinese
       water torture when you are trying to sleep in.
    
    4. Refueling an alcohol stove.
    
    5. Crawling into a cockpit locker and attempting to perform some
       delicate task on a hot, humid day.  Lets add "buggy" to that
       list also.
    
    VHF
    ---
    1. Idiots who blather about how the fish are biting on channel 16
    2. Idiots who ignore the coast guard breaking in on channel 16 to
       tell them to shut up
    3. People who won't give up when the other boat doesn't answer
    4. Doctors who have machines that page them on VHF
    5. Teen-age girls who get ahold of a radio and hold a pajama party
    6. Dummies who break in on coast guard SAR frequencies to talk about
       fishing, how little beer they have left, or how good a time they
       are having away from their wives.
    
    POWERBOATS
    ----------
		     Nuf said..                                            
    
    
    
    Well.. not hardly enough!
    
    	a. Morons who scream between participants in the classic yacht
           regatta at 30 knots.
    
        b. Floating patios who have to pass in *front* of you at 30 knots
           with 10 foot wakes rather than *behind* you like someone
           with a thimbles worth of consideration would.
    
        c. Fishermen who clean their fish on the dock everyone else has
           to walk on even though their contract, several signs and
           several people in the last month have told them not to.
    
        d. 18 year olds with Scarabs trying to see how many members
           of a sailboats crew they can soak with the enginers rooster
    	   tail.
    
        e. Sportfisherman who *have* to cut you off on your way into
           marina.  Its as if that 12 seconds they may save as you throw
           your fenders over the side will make a difference.
    
        f. Lobstermen who always (*always*) have to drop a trap right
           on top of your anchor when they go by in the morning.
    
        g. The fact that my friend can make it to Marthas Vineyard in
           2 hours and it takes me 11 to 14.  Jealousy Ill admit..but..
    
    I could go on here, but my wife tells me I'm hyperventilating...
    
    WEATHER/NATURE
    -------------
    1. The inevitable 18 knot wind directly on the nose when you are
       trying to get under the Newport Bridge as quickly as possible
    
    2. Opposing wind and tide by the buzzards bay tower
    
    3. The fact that whenever it is most convenient for you to leave
       the tides are usually wrong.
    
    4. Entering Point Judith's outer breakwater with 6 foot beam seas
       
    5. NOAA's maximum percentage chance of rain: 30% 
    
    6. Anchoring in Edgartown
    
    7. The fact that every time I need to go through the cape cod canal
       the tide is only right at 3:00 am.
                                     
    GENERAL
    -------
    1. People who row garbage ashore at Potters Cover and leave it for
       the tooth fairy to collect.
    
    2. Merchants who tell you something will be in next week knowing
       full well that part is ordered out until 1990.
    
    3. Boat shows that have more show than boats.
    
    4. The way sailboats seem to be the "in" thing to use as a commercial
        background.                  
    
    5. The disgusting habit some men have of using the water around
       their boat as a head. In clear view of other boats.
    
    
    Plus everything from .0 to here.  :-)
    
    Rick
    
    

465.19The Clothes don't make the manBRAHMS::KLOTZMon Jan 19 1987 17:524
    STEROEOTYPING OF ALL POWER BOATERS AS BEING THE SAME.
    
    As Mark Anthony might have put it "All sailors are Considerate men"

465.20COMICS::BRADSHAWJonathan Bradshaw -- TSC (uk) Tue Jan 20 1987 11:116
                               < Cohabitation >

   thingy's that crawl into your wet gear on day 3 of an offshore
   race !
    

465.21Kiwi's can withstand the cold too.SEDSWS::CURTISSE UK SWAS Technology Unit.Tue Jan 20 1987 12:0314
    Sitting in the middle of the (English) Channel wondering when you
    will get to CH1 or the Needles.
    
    Sitting in the middle of the fleet wondering why you didn't manage
    to break into clear air at the start.
    
    Sailing in the Bloody Mary (always held on the first weekend of
    the (Earls Court) Boat Show), or the Valentine Vendetta (Valentine's
    Day... February... Northern Hemisphere).... but maybe these aren't
    real 'hates'... coz I always try to participate in these events,
    and just maybe all the other 'hates' are almost in the same category.
    
    Don.

465.22more hate mailMORGAN::HOTue Jan 20 1987 13:5350
    Remembering that I've forgotten to grease the lock on my
    Barient self locking winch handle after it's gone over the side.
    
    Putting on my foul weather pants during the first good storm of
    the season and feeling the big split up the seat.
    
    Having a case of bottled beer on board on a hot day and no opener.
    
    Running out of fuel at the mouth of the harbor as I'm coming home
    with the tide going out at 8:00 PM on a sunday.
    
    Stepping off my dinghy into 16" of water wearing 15" boots.
    
    Launching my frostbite dinghy, paddling out to the middle of the
    harbor, raising the sail, and realizing that I've left my rudder
    in the car.
    
    Putting on my light air spinnaker sheets and having the wind pipe
    up to 20 knots.
    
    Having my extendible hiking stick self extend on me as I'm straight leg
    hiking in heavy air.
    
    Getting off the launch after a heavy air race, hiking several blocks
    to the car in the rain carrying wet sails, and remembering that
    I've left the keys on the boat.
    
    Remembering at work Monday morning that I've forgotten to secure
    my main halyard.
    
    Seeing my main halyard permanently entwined around my backstay 40'
    off the deck the following Saturday.
    
    Driving like a bat out of hell up 128, parking illegally, sprinting
    to the dock to make a 1:00 starting gun, and seeing the launch pull
    away with a full load.
    
    Dropping a paper towel down the head and trying to pump it out.
    
    Being heeled over by a puff after forgetting to pump the head dry.
    
    Towing a 30 footer down the Southeast Expressway, breaking down
    blocking 3 lanes of traffic, and having Joe Green in the 'BZ copter
    hovering overhead calling me "some turkey with a boat" thru my own
    radio.
    
    I gotta stop. My boss just walked in.
    
    

465.23The kid in a candy store syndromeSHRBIZ::HARLEYWhen the going gets weird, the weird turn proTue Jan 20 1987 19:109
    Walking into a Boat/US store with a fully paid up MasterCard and trying
    not to buy the whole store...

    Leaving said store after exercising (sp?) EXTREME restraint and telling
    myself that  I  could find some way to afford that Boston clock or that
    sailing  dinghy or that Signet instrument cluster or that Loran or that
    radar or...  knowing full well that these will HAVE TO WAIT for another
    time...