Conference trucks::football;1

    				Woods
    
    		Jones	Wright		Walker	Pearce
    
    				Gascoigne
    
    		      McMannaman   Platt     Daley
    
    			    Deane 	Shearer
    

    If Graham Taylor had his '1st XI' his team would have looked totally
    different (he has said)....so he has had to 'mix and match' and cobble
    a team together.  He obviously needs help in picking a *squad* with
    cover on every position for the next *five years* not just the next
    tournament.  Rather than all of us picking one team, let us suggest
    players for the future who will play in their usual position.  I do not
    profess to know every player in the football league, but here are a few
    suggestions :
    
    Manager : Steve Coppell
    Goalkeepers : Woods, Seaman etc. (we have some of the best)
    Defenders : Walker, Earl Barratt (sp), Steven, Rob Jones, Pallister,
    Portsmouth left back (can't remember his name, but he was impressive),
    Paul Parker
    
    I'll put some thought into the midfield and forwards.....
    PFC
    

    Taylor's First XI:
    
    			McGoram
    McKimmie	McBoyd		McPherson	McCall
    	McStay		McGough		McAllister
    	  McCoist	McClair      McGallagher
    
    Subs:  McNevin  &  McInally
    
    And while were at it, let's replace the manager with....McRoxburgh
    
    :-), :-)
    PJ  (and I'm not even a scouser!!)
    	

    Seriously though.....(well marginally serious anyway!!)
    
    I'd go with 1st and 2nd XI as follows:
    
    
    			Woods
    
      Parker	 Walker	    Wright	 Pearce (c)
    
    		Platt		Gazza
    
        Merson		            Barnes
                              
    	        Shearer	    Wright
    
    
    
    
    
    	        	Martyn
    
       Dixon      Keown       Palmer    Dorigo
    
    	  Stevens       Clough       Beardsley
    
    	     Chapman     Smith     Campbell
    
    
    
    
    If that doesn't work, I'd try...
    		Banks
    		Charlton, J
    		Stiles
                Cohen
    		Moore
    		Charlton, R
    		Hurst
    		etc, etc
    
    at least they know HOW to win!!
    
    PJ

                       		Woods
    
    			       Wright.M
    
    		Jones     Parker     Walker    Pearce(c)
    
    
    		     Daley    Gascoigne   Platt
    
    
    			  Wright.I    Merson
    
    
    Squad: Martyn, Dorigo, Barrett, Wassall(sp?), Steven, Stewart,
           McManaman, Bishop, Shearer, and 2 young up-and-coming stars.
    
    	   eg Anderton and Marsh or whoever warrants a place!
    
    Jim.

		
				basil
				fawlty


	ernie		eric		captain 	eric
	wise		sykes		mainwaring	morecambe



		charles		frankie		dick 
		haughtry	howerd		emery


 	tony			tommy			old  	
	hancock			cooper			steptoe	




subs	:  rigsby, the two ronnies, peter cook, rod hull & emu.
	   barbara windsor, kenneth williams.  

manager :  C.J. "I did'nt get where I am today by pulling off
		 tommy cooper 30 minutes from time."


comments: the midfield's a bit camp don't you think Brian?
	  

	  

    What, no space for Benny Hill.  Faster over 10 yards than Neil Webb and
    had more ball control than Carlton Palmer (probably the reason he died
    childless).
    
    		Brian

    and with 20 minutes to go in the Royal Variety show, I'd subsititue
    Tommy Cooper for Jimmy Tarbuck.
    
    Jus like that..
    
    
    PJ
    

    Speaking of the ROYALS...
    
    
    			Queen Mother
    
    	Princess Margaret    Liz    Phil     Princess Royal
    
    	Charles		Diana	     Fergie      Randy Andy
    
    		Prince Edward	   The Corgies
    
    
    Subs:  Wills and Harry
    
    Manager:  Frank Bruno
    
    
    'Know what I Mean 'arry',
    
    PJ

    
    We've already had one conference closed down due to a joke about the
    British Royal Family.  I don't want football going the same way.
    Stick to discussing football.  The British Royal family is a very
    sensitive subject for some people.
    
    Gary.

    No offense intended to the Royal Family...
    
    I was merely suggesting that they might have a better chance of winning
    a tournament than any team Graham Taylor might pick!!
    
    Anyway, back to the football....
    
    PJ                                   

    
    
                                Wilson
    
           Motson      Moore             Parry      Davies
    
                                 Hill
    
                Welsby         Newbond       Hughes (Emlyn)
    
                        Greaves       Lynam
    
    
    Surely the greatest collection of football brains in the entire history
    of the universe!
    
    Or is it the greatest collection of something else?
    
    jeff

    
    
>>>    Surely the greatest collection of football brains in the entire history
>>>    of the universe!
    
What about Brooking, but on second thoughts he has'nt got a brain.

and what about Motson's comment half way through the second half.
"and this result looks great for England as The Dutch are in our World Cup
group". This man is a joke. What a laugh i had.

Brian.

    
    re : .13 
    
    I understand that you have to make that comment, but surely no one is
    going to be offended...   I love our Royal Family, and also thought the
    team selections and related comments, hilarious.
    
    Ian

  re .16

>and what about Motson's comment half way through the second half.
>"and this result looks great for England as The Dutch are in our World Cup
>group". This man is a joke. What a laugh i had.
    
    What about when he said that one of the Danish players had just come
    back from visiting his sick daughter, followed by:
    
    "I'm sure Gary Lineker can sympathise with him there."
    
    Perhaps Motson is a robot who is programmed to mention England or
    English players at least once every five minutes.
    
    Or perhaps he's just a moron.
    
    jeff
    

    
    Re .17,
    
    I know it was meant as a bit of fun but some people can be very
    sensitive about slagging off the royal family.
    
    Gary.

    RE .11,
    
    I apologise unreservedly for my cutting comments.
    
    However, I was not meaning to be offensive or malicious, but merely
    trying to add a little light-hearted banter to a light-hearted topic.
    
    Jim.

    I say give Arthur Scargill the job as England manager.
    
    
    
    
    At least he would not leave his best striker at home.
    
    
    
    Regards,
    
    Barry.

    It seems there are a lot of people in here and in the papers who 
    are practicing to be football club directors.  How does the story 
    go?  As soon as something goes wrong, sack the manager.  Probably 
    the same people who called for the head of Bobby Robson four years 
    ago.  
    
    In fact, I'm surprised Graham Taylor hasn't been arrested and 
    charged with the heinous crime of "Deflating a Nation's Ego,", 
    and/or "Giving the Scots something to shout about, at last!"  And, 
    of course, he stands convicted of the ultimate offence, "Subbing 
    St Gary."  Woeful crimes, all punishable by.... arrrrgh!  A 
    punishment so awful I hardly dare mention it in mixed company.  
    Well, would you like to be locked up for ten years and be forced 
    to read, over and over again, M. Cunniffe's contribution to this 
    conference?!  You can just picture the poor sod being dragged from 
    his cell screaming, "No officer, no, no, please!  Not the 
    terminal, again!"
    
    Unquestionably, Graham Taylor and the England team had a miserable 
    Euro Championship.  I reckon he made some diabolical decisions - 
    for starters picking Neil Webb!  (He's fat, he's round, he's not 
    worth half a crown, Neil Webb...)  He shouldn't have been on the 
    plane (except to bring the food around), never mind picked to 
    play.  Unbelievable, simply unbelievable.  Then messing about with 
    the team formation, bringing inexperienced players in and then 
    dropping them, etc.  Oh and for good measure he had a difficult 
    time with the media.  Now that's never happened to an England 
    manager before!  Some of us remember the stick Alf Ramsey took and 
    he won the bleedin' World Cup!  What chance the rest of them?
    
    Having said all that I think GT should be given a proper chance 
    and not just condemned on the basis of; a) one competition or b) 
    you think you don't like him.  I think everyone is entitled to 
    make the occasional mistake or two, even an England football 
    manager.  
    
    Taylor has been in the job less than two years (and only lost 2 in 
    25, I think), this was his first major championship and believe it 
    or not some good (OK average) things did come out of it:
    
    	 - Neil Webb will never (hopefully) be picked again;
    	 - Keown looks like he could be a reasonable back-up for 
           Wright and Walker;
    	 - Palmer, with Gascoigne and Platt players around him, maybe 
           a useful "goffer";
    	 - Merson did enough to suggest he might do more with 75 odd 
           caps than Barnes and Waddle combined have ever done;
    
    In addition, Taylor has had a good look at a large number of 
    players and should now be in a position to discard the 
    "never-wills" (Webb, Curle, Sinton, etc) and name a more settled 
    squad based around; Pearce, Wright (M), Walker, Platt, Gascoigne, 
    Steven, Parker and anyone of three or four 'keepers.  Plus there 
    are a number of others, like: Merson, Shearer, Keown and Jones who 
    I think should be persevered with because they show a level of 
    ability that indicates they could be very good international 
    players.  Also, perhaps Wright (I) should be given a chance if, as 
    seems likely, "St Gary" is to enter semi-retirement in Japan.   
    
    Mike M
    
    P.S. Have you heard about the dyslexic Tranmere Rovers supporter 
    who thinks LOAD IS DOG!  (Yeah, based on an old one and I guess 
    you had to be there.) 

    			
    				Bonner
    
    Irwin	    McGrath		O'Leary		Staunton
    
        Houghton       Whelan       Townsend	  Sheedy
    
    			Quinn	  Aldridge
    
    
    ..This is the team that should have been in Sweeden - tell me with a
    straight face thats its not better than Englands XI
    

    
                                  Woods
             Steven                                  Pearce (c)
                                  Walker
                                  
                                  Wright
    
              Stevens    Gasgoine        Platt     Barnes
    
                         Liniker         Hately
    
    
    
    Yes Hately would be in my team because it was someone like him England
    Missed. He has had a great season with Rangers and would be ideal for
    Liniker to feed off.

    re: .23
    
    
    			||	 ||
    			     |
    			     |
    			
    			 ---------               (a straight face)
    
    
    ...It's not better than Englands XI
    
    
    PJ
    

    
    			Woods
    
    	Parker	    Walker   Pearce     Jones
    
    	     Gascoigne   Steven    Platt
     
        Sharpe         Lineker      Hateley
    
    Greg...	

    
    re. 25
    
    PJ, my straight faced friend,
    
    Struck down by amnesia ? Do you not remember the mauling that England
    were given in the two Euro. qualifiers only to be rescued by 
    David '$8m million dollar man' Platt & Steve Stauntons left knee...
    but this is probably the wrong place to go into all that
    
    Is mise le meas,
    
    PB

    >>   but this is probably the wrong place to go into all that
                     ********
    
    You've been watching too many Carlsberg ads!!
    
    
    :-),  :-)   (no longer straight faced!)
    PJ
    

    
    
                                 Woods
    
                                 Ince
    
             Jones      Walker         Wright (M)      Pearce
    
                         Gascoigne     Platt
    
                              Le Tissier
    
                    Wright (I)            Shearer
    
    If England are to play with a sweeper it must be a converted midfield
    player rather than a defender otherwise it'll simply be "five at the
    back". Ince's role would be to link the defence and midfield so that
    passes are not continuously pumped upfield over the heads of Gascoigne
    and Platt. Likewise Le Tissier's role would be to link the midfield and
    attack, using his vision and passing ability in the "hole" behind the
    strikers.
    
    Squad members: Martyn, Parker, Dorigo, Pallister, Keown, Steven,
                   Stewart, Rocastle, Clough, Hirst.
    
    jeff

    
    Probably the most interesting selection so far, Jeff. Don't you think
    that the role that you've earmarked for Le Tissier would be ideal for
    Nigel Clough though ? It's an area where pace is less important than
    the ability to play a telling through ball, and Clough's vision in that
    department has always impressed me.
    
    Don't think we're likely to see anything like this under the current
    regime, however .... :-(
    
    Adam.

    
    	re .22..
    
    	Excellent note, Mike.
    
    	Andy.

    
    re .30 
    
    Adam,
    
    When I thought of this line-up, at first I couldn't decide between
    Clough and Le Tissier for this role. In the end I plumped for the
    latter as I believe his ball skills are better than Clough's and he's
    also a better goal-scorer; if he wasn't up to the task Clough would be
    a ready made replacement.
    
    jeff

    
    Another possibility, how about Merson or Campbell to play alongside
    Ian Wright ? You can never play down the importance of a good
    understanding between the striking pair, and if it's ready made, why
    not give it a go ?
    
    I've not seen a great deal of Shearer, being stuck in France all year.
    He did well in the friendly at Wembley against France, but in the
    championships he seemed to do little save get pulled up for fouls all
    the time. What's his club form like ?
    
    Adam.

    > Inces role .........
    
    One slight problem - Paul Ince cant pass the ball....
    

    
    re .33
    
    Shearer is still in the "promising" category and it may be that he
    wouldn't play well with Wright as they may wish to operate in the same
    areas. Playing without wide midfield players means that the forwards
    must be mobile and prepared to move wide if necessary so it maybe that
    Merson would prove to be a better choice.
    
    re .34
    
    There are very few exceptional passer's of the ball in English football
    but Ince is probably as good as any of the rest. He may not be the
    ideal choice initially but then, as English football is played without
    a sweeper, we don't naturally produce that type of player. Given time I
    feel he could adapt to the role.
    
    The alternative, of course, is simply to by-pass the midfield and pump
    long balls towards a big centre-forward. Come in Lee Chapman, your time
    is up....
    
    jeff

    Neither Taylor nor any other national manager has a hope in hell of
    putting together a serious, challenging squad until our own national
    game is sorted.
    
    I'm not a fan of his at all (being a Welsh woman..) but I can
    sympathise with his plight. The English league is one of the most
    demanding in terms of games played - some teams end up playing on
    Saturday's and Wednesdays if they are successful in cup competitions -
    Man United being a classic example. We are all totally transfixed on
    the club football scene until, hey ho, summer's here - Eng-er-land...
    its ludicrous.
    
    Until the league is sorted so that we play fewer games, or we decide
    that our national teams are more important and deserve more focus than
    our local sides, then we can never hope to compete with any degree of
    competency on the International stage.
    
    My 2-penneth on choice of team... Pallister should definately be in
    there...I'm surprised he didn't figure in more team choices. A new
    goalkeeper MUST be found - the choices you are faced with at the mo are
    hardly inspiring. As for the rest of 'em.. the last couple of choices
    were the best, tho as has been said, Taylor'll never go for them. Too
    imaginative for him...
    
    J