Conference trucks::football;1

    
    	Allow me to be the first to say that Southend United are a waste of
    space. And so is John Hussey.
    
    Malc.
    

As another ex-Shrimper turns into a star player I thought I'd start a
discussion of all those players who have turned into stars after your
favs sold them for 2p.

The Southend topic seems a good place to start as they seem to have got rid
of more than most (and perhaps we can overtake Bristol City - Malc).

So here's my list

Stan Collymore, Jason Lee (Nottm Forect)
Ricky Otto, Poole + others (Birmingham City)
Austin, Edinburgh (Spurs)
Spencer Prior (Norwich)
Brett Angell (Everton - alright he's crap)

    
    	Sarfend United sacked their manager Peter Taylor the other day but
    obviously their supporter couldn't care less.
    

    I read that the club sent him on holiday because they thought he needed
    a rest.  When he returns, the club are to offer him a job as the team
    coach - cue Matt's infamous Don Howe joke !!  
    

    
    	re .5...
    
    	Slight correction needed, Dave...
    
    	I think what the club said was that when he returned from holiday
    	they would let him *drive* the team coach, not *be* the team
    	coach..
    
        Hope this clears things up.
    	
    	Andy.

    
    .6 sounds rather like a variation on Matt's DH joke.
    
    Andy,  were you not the one casting aspersions on John Jacks Brian
    Laudrup effort the other week because of its similarity to the
    Everton/Amokachi joke ?
    
    Malc.
    

    
    	Malc, I don't remember a Don Howe joke like that. However, if
    	I am guilty of plagiarism, then whip me, beat me, call me dirty
    	slag.....etc....
    
    	Oh well, it's the weekend tomorrow...
    
    	Andy.

In a bid to match Premiership clubs Southend announced their caretaker manager
whilst Peter Taylor suns himself.  Their big name signing is....

STEVE THOMPSON



And before you say "who?" he used to be manager of those giants of English
football - wait for it - Lincoln City.

Except an Old Trafford size of crowd for tomorrow's game at home to Sunderland.
Unfortunately, most of those fans will be from Teeside.

Come on you Shrimpers!!!

    So he'll be an England manager soon then...
    
    Stuart

    
     Please can anyone let me know how much it is to get in to see
     the Southend aces nowdays.
    
    
    tony
    
    
    

The only Southend fan in Digital is back...


Having suddenly realised that they might get relegated despite good early
season form the Shrimpers have turned on the style again.

Oldham (a)	2-0
Luton (h)	3-0
Portsmouth (a)	1-1

This return to form probably has less to do with the new non-entity manager
but rather that Ronnie '5-chins' Whelan has returned after injury.

Unfortunately, a few of the other teams are showing good form as well so are
still only 3 points off the last relegation place.  Two big games coming up 
this week - Stoke at home on Wed and the crap 'Red sh!te' (that's Bristol
City Malc) away on Saturday.  4 points will be very useful as the way 
Div.1 is 60 points won't guarantee survival.

Come on you Shrimpers!!!!!

    
    John
    
    	Everybody knows that the "Red Sh1te" are Liverpool FC (see any Paul
    Watterson note). Please get your terminology correct. Bristol City are
    known as Those Gods Amongst Men. Southend Utd are known as
    
    				...Who ???
    
    Malc.
    

The Mighty Shrimpers pulled off another magnificent win against the might
of Stoke City. The score 4-2 with a player from each side sent-off.  With
most of the other results going Sarfend's way (thanks to Reading) they are
now 6 pts ahead of those losers from Ashton Gate (you still got that fiver 
Malc).

I will post the bottom of Div 1 table later.

YeeHaaa

    
    So John
    
    	You can only win against 10 man teams. A dirty trick in getting
    their best player sent off in exchange for one of your own donkeys.
    Your pocket will still be somewhat lighter on Monday morning.
    
    Malc$sulking_after_getting_a_SET_HIDDEN_yesterday.
    

    Malc,
    
    I thought that was the intention of posting the note in question? After
    your run-in with moderators over the Bristol City notes, were you
    really surprised. BTW, did you ever get a satisfactory response to your
    queries?
    
    Stuart

    
    Hi Stuart
    
    	It was really more sort of pushing against the boundary to see how
    far I could go. I guess it was a bit near the knuckle and I wasn't
    really surprised. Does it now mean I've served my noters apprenticeship
    and have become a fully fledged sad person ?
    
    	As for the City notes I'm giving in as I seem to have forced JF to
    leave the company rather than suffer another barrage of stroppy rubbish
    from a rabid Scotsman. Will he be replaced as a Mod btw ? (I'm NOT
    volunteering I hasten to add !)
    
    Malc.
    

    Malc,
    
    We never had any doubt about your ability to be a sad person...
    
    Stuart

Endsleigh League Div 1 Table

		Pl     Pts   Goals

Middlesbro	37	66	53
-----------------------------------
Tranmere	37	65	57
Bolton		35	63	58
Reading		38	62	44
Sheff Utd	37	60	62
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wolves		35	60	59
Barnsley	36	56	52
Derby Co	36	55	49
Watford		36	54	42
Grimsby		38	52	54
Luton		36	51	51
Charlton	36	48	49
Millwall	36	48	47
Port Vale	36	46	44
SARFEND		38	46	42
Oldham		36	44	48
Portsmouth	38	44	42
West Brom	37	44	36
Stoke		35	42	35
Sunderland	38	42	34
-----------------------------------
Swindon		35	40	44
Bristol City	38	40	37
Burnley		36	35	35
Notts Co	37	34	40


Fixtures:

22/3	Bolton v Sheff Utd
	Derby v Swindon
	West Brom v Millwall

24/3	Barnsley v Sunderland
	Wolves v Burnley

25/3	Bristol City v Southend
	Grimsby v West Brom
	Millwall v Tranmere
	Oldham v Derby
	Portsmouth v Bolton
	Sheff Utd v Reading
	Stoke v Notts Co
	Swindon v Charlton

26/3	Luton v Watford
	Middlesbro v Port Vale

    
    	Not particularly impressed with the Goals For column, John. Or is
    this an attempt at the World's Worst Effort to Calculate Goal Difference ?
    Honestly, some people will do ANYTHING to get into the Guinness Book
    of Records.
    
    Malc.
    

    Malc,
    
    In the Endsleigh League(s), it's Goals Scored that counts, not goal
    difference; that only comes into play in the event of same points &
    same no. of goals scored.
    
    Helpfully yours,
    
    The depressed 'Pie

    
    >  But surely, as a BCFC fan, you'll know that ;-)
    
    Err umm well, actually no I didn't know that. What a strange rule.
    
    I seem to be having rather a bad day.
    
    Malc.
    

		Pl     Pts   Goals

Boro		38	69	56
-----------------------------------
Bolton		37	65	60
Tranmere	38	65	58
Wolves		36	63	61
Reading		39	63	45
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sheff Utd	39	62	64
Barnsley	37	59	54
Derby Co	38	58	52
Watford		37	55	43
Grimsby		39	52	55
Luton		38	52	52
Charlton	37	51	50
Millwall	38	51	49
West Brom	39	50	41
Oldham		37	47	49
SARFEND		39	47	42
Port Vale	37	46	44
Portsmouth	39	45	43
Stoke		36	45	37
Sunderland	39	42	34
-----------------------------------
Bristol City	39	41	37
Swindon		37	40	45
Burnley		37	35	35
Notts Co	38	34	41


Fixtures:

Saturday 1st April

Burnley v Millwall
Charlton v Stoke
Derby v BRISTOL CITY
Notts Co v Barnsley
Port Vale v Grimsby
SOUTHEND v Wolves
Sunderland v Sheff Utd
Tranmere v Portsmouth
Watford v Oldham
West Brom v Middlesbrough

    Is the Reading vs Swindon match on Sunday then ? Is it on TV ?
    
    iAN.

It will be on Saturday as Sunday is the Coke Cup Final.

Disappointing result with Bully scored the only goal late in the game.

Still only Sunderland of the teams below won and the bottom 4 all lost.  A
win at home to Burnley on Saturday should be enough to stay in the 
division.


League table in next replay.

		Pl     Pts   Goals

Boro		39	72	59
-----------------------------------
Tranmere	39	68	60
Wolves		37	66	62
Reading		40	66	48
Bolton		37	65	60
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sheff Utd	40	62	64
Barnsley	38	62	57
Derby Co	39	61	55
Grimsby		40	55	57
Watford		38	55	44
Millwall	39	54	51
Luton		38	52	52
Charlton	38	52	50
Oldham		38	50	51
West Brom	40	50	42
SARFEND		40	47	42
Port Vale	39	46	48
Stoke		37	46	37
Portsmouth	39	45	45
Sunderland	40	45	35
-----------------------------------
Bristol City	40	41	38
Swindon		38	40	45
Burnley		39	38	40
Notts Co	39	34	42


Fixtures:

Tuesday 4th April

Burnley v Charlton
Luton v Wolves
Stoke v Watford

Wednesday 5th April

Millwall v Port Vale
Oldham v Middlesbrough
Swindon v Bolton

Saturday 8th April

Bolton v West Brom
BRISTOL CITY v Tranmere
Derby v Sunderland
Grimsby v Reading
Luton v Notts Co
Middlesbrough v Stoke
Millwall v Charlton
Port Vale v Watford
Portsmouth v Sheff Utd
SOUTHEND v Burnley
Swindon v Oldham
Wolves v Barnsley

Essential win for the blues over a team likely to be relegated, especially
as Swindon, Sunderland & Portsmouth all won as well.  Two goals in the 
first 6 minutes effectively won the game with Burnley getting a late
consolation.

Seven points off the last relegation spot but Swindon have a game in hand. 
Need points off the Baggies & Charlton over Easter to ensure we stay in
the division with Tranmere & Derby away games to come.

Table in next reply.

		Pl   W  D    L   F   A  Pts

Boro		41  22   9  10  61  35  72
-------------------------------------------
Tranmere	40  21   8  11  63  44  71
Bolton		39  20  11   8  62  37  71
Wolves		39  20   8  11  65  49  68 
Reading		41  19   9  13  48  38  66
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Barnsley	39  18   9  12  57  45  63
Sheff Utd	41  16  14  11  64  46  62
Derby Co	40  17  19  13  55  41  61
Grimsby		41  15  13  13  58  52  58
Watford		40  15  13  12  45  42  58
Millwall	41  15  12  14  55  54  57
Luton		40  15  11  14  57  58  56
Oldham		40  14  11  15  53  54  53
Charlton	40  14  10  16  51  56  52
SARFEND		41  14   8  19  45  68  50
West Brom	41  14   8  19  42  53  50
Port Vale	41  13  10  18  51  59  49
Stoke		39  12  13  14  39  45  49
Portsmouth	40  12  12  17  46  59  48
Sunderland	41  11  15  15  36  40  48
-------------------------------------------
Swindon		40  11  10  19  48  66  43
Burnley		41  10  11  20  43  68  41
Bristol City	41  10  11  20  38  57  41
Notts Co	40   8  10  22  42  59  34


Fixtures:

Tuesday 11th April
Bolton v Luton

Wed. 12th April
Derby v Wolves
Stoke v Barnsley

Friday 14th April
Tranmere v Bolton
Watford v Millwall

Saturday 8th April

Barnsley v Portsmouth
Burnley v Derby
Charlton v Wolves
Notts Co v Middlesboro
Oldham v Grimsby
Reading v Port Vale
Sheff Utd v Swindon
Stoke v Bristol City
Sunderland v Luton
West Brom v Southend

Monday 17th April

Bolton v Sunderland
Bristol City v West Brom
Derby v Tranmere
Grimsby v Barnsley
Luton v Reading
Middlesboro v Sheff Utd
Port Vale v Burnley
Portsmouth v Watford
Swindon v Stoke
Wolves v Oldham

Tuesday 18th April
Southend v Charlton

Wednesday 19th April

Millwall v Notts Co

Can anyone out there confirm whether Southend beat Charlton last night?
They were winning 2-1 with about 10 minutes to go but my crap Scottish version
of an English paper hasn't got the score.

Thanks

    Sarfend did indeed win 2-1.

Southend's win on Tuesday now makes them all but safe.  To go down now is
extremely unlikely requiring at least one of Swindon/Bristol City/Burnley
to win 3 games.  Just as well as the next 2 games are Tranmere & Derby away.

Here's hoping Bolton win the league.



		Pl   W  D    L   F   A  Pts

Middlesboro	43  22  11  10  63  37  77
-------------------------------------------
Bolton		42  21  12   9  63  38  75
Tranmere	42  22   8  12  64  49  74
Wolves		42  21   9  12  72  56  72 
Reading		43  20  10  13  52  41  70
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Barnsley	42  19  10  13  58  46  67
Derby Co	43  18  11  14  64  47  67
Sheff Utd	43  16  16  11  67  49  64
Grimsby		43  16  13  14  59  53  61
Watford		42  16  13  13  47  44  61
Luton		43  15  13  15  58  58  58
Millwall	43  15  13  15  55  55  58
Oldham		42  15  11  16  55  56  56
Stoke		42  14  14  14  42  46  56
Charlton	42  15  10  17  55  61  55
Port Vale	43  14  11  18  55  62  53
SARFEND		43  15   8  20  47  71  53
West Brom	43  15   8  20  44  54  53
Portsmouth	43  13  12  18  48  61  51
Sunderland	43  11  16  16  37  42  49
-------------------------------------------
Swindon		42  11  11  20  50  69  44
Burnley		43  11  11  21  46  70  44
Bristol City	43  11  11  21  40  59  44
Notts Co	42   8  12  22  43  60  36  R


Fixtures:

Friday 21st April

Reading v Bolton

Saturday 22nd April

Barnsley v Middlesboro
Burnley v Portsmouth
Charlton v Luton 
Notts Co v Grimsby
Oldham v Millwall
Sheff Utd v Wolves
Stoke v Port Vale
Sunderland v Swindon
Tranmere v Southend
Watford v Bristol City
West Brom v Derby

Bristol City & Burnley are relegated with almost certainly Swindon joining them.

The mighty Shrimpers gave the semi-scousers from Tranmere a bloody nose on 
Friday with 2 goals leading on from goalkeeper mistakes.  An efficient
defensive display after that gave Tranmere a rare home defeat.  Mid-table
mediocrity in now within grasp.

On the promotion fornt only Barnsley can stop the top 5 being in the play-offs.


Results

Friday 21st April

Reading 2 Bolton 1
Tranmere 0 Southend 2

Saturday 22nd April

Barnsley 1 Middlesboro 1
Burnley 1 Portsmouth 2
Charlton 1 Luton 0
Notts Co 0 Grimsby 2
Oldham 0 Millwall 1
Sheff Utd 3 Wolves 3
Stoke 0	Port Vale 1
Sunderland 1 Swindon 0
Watford 1 Bristol City 0
West Brom 0 Derby 0


		Pl   W  D    L   F   A  Pts

Middlesboro	44  22  12  10  64  38  78
-------------------------------------------
Bolton		43  21  12  10  64  40  75
Tranmere	43  22   8  13  64  51  74
Wolves		43  21  10  12  75  59  73 
Reading		44  21  10  13  54  42  73
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Barnsley	43  19  11  13  59  47  68
Derby Co	44  18  12  14  64  47  68
Sheff Utd	44  16  17  11  70  52  65
Grimsby		44  17  13  14  61  53  64
Watford		43  17  13  13  48  44  64
Millwall	44  16  13  15  56  55  61
Luton		44  15  13  16  58  59  58
Charlton	43  16  10  17  56  61  58
Port Vale	44  15  11  18  56  62  56
Oldham		43  15  11  17  55  57  56
SARFEND		44  16   8  20  49  71  56
Stoke		43  14  14  15  42  47  56
Portsmouth	44  14  12  18  50  62  54
West Brom	44  15   9  20  44  54  54
Sunderland	44  12  16  16  38  42  52
-------------------------------------------
Swindon		43  11  11  21  50  70  44
Burnley		44  11  11  22  47  72  44 R
Bristol City	44  11  11  22  40  60  44 R
Notts Co	43   8  12  23  43  62  36 R


Fixtures:

Saturday 29th April

Barnsley v Sheff Utd
Bristol City v Reading
Burnley v Sunderland
Charlton v Port Vale
Derby v Southend
Grimsby v Wolves
Notts Co v Watford
Oldham v Bolton
Stoke v Millwall
Swindon v Portsmouth

Sunday 30th April

Middlesboro v Luton
West Brom v Tranmere

Just to show that Southend are actually a reasonable side they beat another
of the top teams away - they became the 2nd team to win at Tranmere.  It
makes you wonder what all the fuss about this relegation was.

Well here's to next season and hopefully competing for a play-off place instead
of fighting at the bottom.  With some pretty ordinary teams coming
down I see Div 1 descending into a vast mediocracy with most teams much like
any other.

Predictions (already) - Champions - team 4th bottom in Premiership (Crystal 
Palace or Villa)
Play-off places - Birmingham/Derby/Sheff Utd
Relegation - Stoke/Port Vale


Result & Table in next reply

With the final week before us, I see Barnsley missing out on the play-offs
despite winning their last 2 games.  If 'Boro don't get the draw needed at
Tranmere, Bolton should win their last 2 games to take the Division and
automatic promotion.


Results:

Saturday 29th April

Barnsley 2 Sheff Utd 1
Bristol City 1 Reading 2
Burnley 1 Sunderland 1
Charlton 1 Port Vale 1
Derby 1 Southend 2
Grimsby 0 Wolves 0
Notts Co 1 Watford 0
Oldham 3 Bolton 1
Stoke 4 Millwall 3
Swindon 0 Portsmouth 2

Sunday 30th April

Middlesboro 2 Luton 1
West Brom 5 Tranmere 1


		Pl   W  D    L   F   A  Pts

Middlesboro	45  23  12  10  66  39  81
-------------------------------------------
Reading		45  22  10  13  56  43  76
Bolton		44  21  12  11  65  43  75
Wolves		44  21  11  12  75  59  74 
Tranmere	44  22   8  14  65  56  74
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Barnsley	44  20  11  13  61  48  71
Derby Co	45  18  12  15  65  49  68
Sheff Utd	45  16  17  12  71  54  65
Grimsby		45  17  14  14  61  53  65
Watford		44  17  13  14  48  45  64
Millwall	45  16  13  16  59  59  61
Oldham		44  16  11  17  58  58  59
Charlton	44  16  11  17  57  62  59
SARFEND		45  17   8  20  51  72  59
Stoke		44  15  14  15  46  50  59
Luton		45  15  13  17  59  61  58
Port Vale	45  15  12  18  57  63  57
Portsmouth	45  15  12  18  52  62  57
West Brom	45  16   9  20  49  55  57
Sunderland	45  12  17  16  39  43  53
-------------------------------------------
Burnley		45  11  12  22  48  73  45 R
Swindon		44  11  11  22  50  72  44 R
Bristol City	45  11  11  23  41  62  44 R
Notts Co	44   9  12  23  44  62  39 R


Fixtures:
Tuesday 2nd May

Barnsley v Oldham
Watford v Charlton

Wednesday 3rd May

Stoke v Bolton
Swindon v Notts Co
Tranmere v Wolves

Saturday 6th May

Sheff Utd v Grimsby

Sunday 7th May

Bolton v Burnley
Luton v Stoke
Millwall v Bristol City
Port Vale v Notts Co
Portsmouth v Oldham
Reading v Charlton
Southend v Barnsley
Sunderland v West Brom
Tranmere v Middlesboro
Watford v Derby
Wolves v Swindon

    John,
    
    If Barnsley need to win the last game to get in the playoffs I hope
    you're going to do me a favour and get 'sarfend' to roll over for us!
    
    Ian.

Ian,

I think Barnsley are struggling and need to hope that Tranmere or Reading don't
win any of their games.  Wolves will beat Swindon,  Reading should beat
Charlton but will probably need to.  Bolton should beat both Stoke and Burnley.

All the best though.  From all the reports I've read Barnsley have a decent
side at the moment due to Danny Wilson.  If you don't get promotion you'll
probably lose him to Sheff Wed.

Ronnie Whelan has become player/manager for the best team in Essex.

He seemed to be the difference between winning & losing whenever he played
last season so I'm hoping that its going to be a good season and we
do a 'Reading'.  When's that play-off final?

John

    
    Doesn't seem to be much interest in the Shrimpers this season. Where is
    everybody.  We are not having a bad season so far. So where's the
    support.
    
    A lonely Shrimp
    Tony