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This Is the Title of This Story,
Which Is Also Found Several Times
in the Story Itself
This is the first sentence of this story. This is the
second sentence. This is the title of this story, which is
also found several times in the story itself. This sentence
is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two
sentences. This sentence is to inform you, in case you
haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential
story, that is, a story containing sentences that refer to
their own structure and function. This is a sentence that
provides an ending to the first paragraph.
This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a
self-referential story. This sentence is introducing you to
the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This
sentence is telling you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed
and American and 12 years old and strangling his mother.
This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the
self-referential narrative form while recognizing the
strange and playful detachment it affords the writer. As if
illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this
sentence reminds us, with no trace of facetiousness, that
children are a precious gift from God and that the world is
a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights
they bring to it.
This sentence describes Billy's mother's eyes bulging
and tongue protruding and makes reference to the unpleasant
choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence
makes the observation that these are uncertain and difficult
times and that relationships, even seemingly deep-rooted and
permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down.
Introduces in this paragraph the device of sentence
fragments. A sentence fragment. Another. Good device.
Will be used more later.
This is actually the last sentence of the story but has
been place here by mistake. This is the title of the story,
which is also found several times in the story itself. As
Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found
himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect. This
sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from
another story entirely (a much better one, it must be noted)
and has no place at all in this particularly narrative. In
spite of the claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence
feels compelled to inform you that the story you are reading
is in actuality "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka, and that
the sentence referred to by the preceding sentence is the
ONLY sentence that does indeed belong in this story. This
sentence overrides the preceding sentence by informing the
reader (poor, confused wretch) that this piece of literature
is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the
author, in a show of extreme negligence (if not malicious
sabotage), has so for failed to include ONE SINGLE SENTENCE
from that stirring document, although he has condescended to
use a small sentence FRAGMENT, namely "When in the course of
human events," embedded in quotation marks near the end of a
sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and
downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the
pointless conceptual games indulged in by the preceding
sentences, THIS sentence returns us at last to the scenario
of the story by asking, "Why is Billy strangling his
mother?" This sentence attempts to shed some light on the
question posed by the preceding sentence but fails. THIS
sentence, however, succeeds in that it suggests a possible
incestuous relationship between Billy and his mother and
alludes to the concomitant Freudian complications any astute
reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable
taboo. The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the
sentence fragments. Good literary device. Will be used
more later.
This is the first sentence of a new paragraph. This is
the last sentence in a new paragraph.
This sentence can serve as either the beginning of a
paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is
the title of this story, which is also found several times
in the story itself. This sentence raises a serious
objection to the entire class of self-referential sentences
that merely comment on their own function or placement
within the story (e.g., the last four sentences), on the
grounds that they are monotonously predictable, unforgivably
self-indulgent and merely serve to distract the reader from
the real subject of this story, which at this point seems to
concern strangulation and incest and who knows what other
delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence it to point
out that the preceding sentence, while not itself a member
of the class of self-referential sentences it objects to,
nevertheless ALSO serves merely to distract the reader from
the real subject of this story, which actually concerns
Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation into a gigantic
insect (in spite of the vociferous counterclaims of other
well-meaning although misinformed sentences). This sentence
can serve as either the beginning of a paragraph or the end,
depending on its placement.
This is the title of this story, which is also found
several times in the story itself. This is almost the title
of this story, which is found only once in the story itself.
this sentence regretfully states that up to this point the
self-referential mode of narrative has had a paralyzing
effect on the actual progress of the story itself, that is,
these sentences have been so concerned with analyzing
themselves and their role in the story that they have failed
by and large to perform their function as communicators of
events and ideas that one hopes coalesce into a plot,
character development, etc., in short the very raisons
d'etre of any respectable, hardworking sentence in the midst
of a piece of compelling prose fiction. This sentence in
addition points out the obvious analogy between the plight
of these agonizingly self-aware sentences and similarly
afflicted human beings, and points out the analogous
paralyzing effects wrought by excessive and tortured
self-examination.
The purpose of this sentence (which can also serve as a
paragraph) is to speculate that if the Declaration of
Independence had been worded and structured as
lackadaisically and incoherently as this story has been so
far, there's no telling what kind of warped libertine
society we'd be living in now or to what depths of decadence
the inhabitants of this country might have sunk, even to the
point of deranged and debased writers constructing
irritatingly cumbersome and needlessly prolix sentences that
sometimes possess the questionable if not downright
undesirable quality of referring to themselves and they
sometimes even become run-on sentences or exhibit other
signs of inexcusably sloppy grammar like unneeded
superfluous redundancies that almost certainly would have
insidious effects on the lifestyle and morals of our
impressionable youth, leading them to commit incest or even
murder and maybe THAT'S why Billy is strangling his mother,
because of sentences JUST LIKE THIS ONE, which have no
discernable goals or perspicuous purpose and end up
anywhere, even in the mid
Bizarre. A sentence fragment. Another fragment.
Twelve years old. This is a sentence that. Fragmented.
And strangling his mother. Sorry, sorry. Bizarre. This.
More fragments. This is it. Fragments. This is the title
of this story, which. Blond. Sorry, sorry. Fragment after
fragment. Harder. This is a sentence that. Fragments.
Damn good device.
The purpose of this sentence is threefold: (1) To
apologize for the unfortunate and inexplicable lapse
exhibited by the preceding paragraph; (2) To assure you,
the reader, that it will not happen again; and (3) To
reiterate the point that these are uncertain and difficult
times and that aspects of language, even seemingly stable
and deeply rooted ones such as syntax and meaning, do break
down. This sentence adds nothing substantial to the
sentiments of the preceding sentence but merely provides a
concluding sentence to this paragraph, which otherwise might
not have one.
This sentence, in a sudden and courageous burst of
altruism, tries to abandon the self-referential mode but
fails. This sentence tries again, but the attempt is doomed
from the start.
This sentence, in a last-ditch attempt to infuse some
iota of story line into this paralyzed prose piece, quickly
alludes to Billy's frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a
lyrical, touching and beautifully written passage wherein
Billy is reconciled with his father (thus resolving the
subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader)
and a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy
is accidentally shot and killed by a panicky rookie
policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence,
although basically in complete sympathy with the laudable
efforts of that last action-packed sentence, reminds the
reader that such allusions to a story that doesn't, in fact,
yet exist are not substitute for the real thing and
therefore will not get the author (indolent goof-off that he
is) of the proverbial hook.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
The purpose. Of this paragraph. Is to apologize. For
its gratuitous use. Of. Sentence fragments. Sorry.
The purpose of this sentence is to apologize for the
pointless and silly adolescent games indulged in by the
preceding two paragraphs, and to express regret on the part
of us, the more mature sentences, that the entire tone of
this story is such that it can't seem to communicate a
simple, albeit somewhat sordid, scenario.
This sentence wishes to apologize for all the needless
apologies found in this story (this one included), which,
although placed here ostensibly for the benefit of the more
vexed readers, merely delay in a maddeningly recursive way
the continuation of the by now nearly forgotten story line.
This sentence is bursting at the punctuation marks with
news of the dire import of self-reference as applied to
sentences, a practice that could prove to be a veritable
Pandora's box of potential havoc, for it a sentence can
refer or allude to itself, why not a lowly subordinate
clause, perhaps this very clause? Or this sentence
fragment? Or three words? Two words? One?
Perhaps it is appropriate that this sentence gently and
with not trace of condescension reminds us that these are
indeed very difficult and uncertain times and that in
general people just aren't nice enough to each other, and
that perhaps we, whether sentient human beings or sentient
sentences, should just try harder. I mean, there is such a
thing as free will, there has to be, and this sentence is
proof of it! Neither this sentence nor you, the reader, is
completely helpless in the face of all the pitiless forces
at work in the universe. We should stand our ground, face
facts, take Mother Nature by the throat and just try harder.
By the throat. Harder. Harder, harder.
Sorry.
This is the last sentence in the story. This is the
last sentence in the story. This is the last sentence in
the story. This is.
Sorry.
-- David Moser
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Cited in:
Douglas R. Hofstadter, "A self-referential column about last January's column
about self-reference", Scientific American, Vol 246, #1, (Jan '82):16-28.
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The following sentence is totally identical with this one except that the words
'following' and 'preceding' have been exchanged as have the words 'except'
and 'in' and the phrases 'identical with' and 'different from'.
The preceding sentence is totally different from this one in that the words
'preceding' and 'following' have been exchanged as have the words 'in'
and 'except' and the phrases 'different from' and 'identical with'.
- Scott Kim & Douglas R. Hofstadter
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