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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

274.0. ""Smoking or non?"" by KIRK::JOHNSON (Endorphins are Habit-Forming) Mon Nov 17 1986 12:45

    How did the following question ever become standard in restarants
    all over America?
    
    "Smoking or non?" 
    
    Obviously, waitresses are trying to save time and repetition
    by clipping "non-smoking."  However, if that's the goal, why not 
    simply say "Smoking?"  Then customers could simply respond "yes" or
    "no."  
    
    The most annoying thing about the "smoking or non" question
    is that it provokes the following nearly unintelligible response
    from even the most literate non-smoker:
    
    "Non."   
    
    Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

    MATT
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274.1No nonstandard answer allowedDEBET::CANTORDave CantorFri Nov 21 1986 08:2116
      I hadn't noticed that before.  I suspect that the longer question
      provides some redundancy and time with which the listener can
      formulate the appropriate reply.  The alternative question also
      implicitly requests that the reply be one of the two alternatives,
      and nothing else.  If the host(ess) or waiter(waitress) simply
      asked "Smoking?", (s)he may get a response about which (s)he may
      have to think.
      
      A related phenomenon is the common sign "No smoking allowed."
      This should really say "Smoking not allowed" or "Smoking
      disallowed" or "Smoking forbidden" or simply "No smoking."
      "No smoking allowed" means to me that refraining from smoking
      is an acceptable behavior in the area, but says nothing about
      smoking itself.
      
      Dave C.
274.2AKOV68::BOYAJIANThe Mad ArmenianFri Nov 21 1986 09:416
    re:.2
    
    And the phrase, "There are some things man is not meant to know,"
    should be, "There are some things man is meant not to know."
    
    --- jerry
274.3INK::KALLISSupport Hallowe'enFri Nov 21 1986 11:3815
    Re "No smoking":
    
    When I was in high school, there was, close to the school I graduated
    from, a Brigham's Ice Cream Parlor where students congregated after
    classes. 
    
    Prominently displayed was a sign:
    
                        NO STUDENT SMOKING
    
    I always thought that a good idea.  Hams or herrings always seemed
    preferable things to smoke.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
     
274.4NO SMOKING WHAT!!FSGG::DOYLEEllen McWilliams-DoyleFri Nov 21 1986 14:188
    .3 puts me in mind of a sign in, of all places, the library
    where I went to college:
    
    No smoking food or liquids
    
    When we confronted the librarians with our interpretation, they
    responded that people would get the message, and they were not
    about to replace the signs. Here's to higher education!
274.5non-senseVOLGA::BLANCHARDFri Dec 26 1986 15:4110
    I have found another curiosity having to do with non items or
    allowances. When I picked up a bottle of aceteminophine ( Tylenol
    ) and dicovered that I had bought a NON ASPIRIN. It occured to me
    that most of the items in the store were indeed NON ASPIRIN. And
    another thing, what happened to the "OVEN" in MICROWAVE OVEN ?
    Everyone I know puts their food in a MICROWAVE. If they have one.
    Any comments?
    
    
    Steve
274.6CACHE::MARSHALLhunting the snarkMon Dec 29 1986 13:418
    I cook my food in microwaveS, I wonder what a single microwave would
    do?                        ^
                                                   
                  /
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274.7Chuck the excess baggage.APTECH::RSTONETue Dec 30 1986 11:552
    I guess it's all right to cook food in a Microwave if you have just
    taken it out of the "fridge".
274.8video, videre, vidi, ...ECLAIR::GOODENOUGHJeff Goodenough, IPG Reading-UKTue Jan 06 1987 11:332
    Re "Microwave" - and how about "video" to mean either "video recorder"
    or "pre-recorded video cassette tape"?
274.9inaccurate but colorfulMODEL::YARBROUGHMon Jan 12 1987 14:234
>    I guess it's all right to cook food in a Microwave if you have just
>    taken it out of the "fridge".

And then, according to my kids, it has been "Nuked".
274.10Yeah, nuke it!ERIS::CALLASSo many ratholes, so little timeMon Jan 12 1987 17:564
    Or as I've been known to say, "Nuke it 'til it glows, then eat it
    in the dark."
    
    	Jon
274.11MIMS::ZUMO::GULICKWhen the impossible has been eliminated...Thu May 06 1993 06:537
Very late reply to .0:

Have a little fun and do as I sometimes do; answer, "Yes."  Throws 'em
every time.

Lew
274.12GAVEL::PCLX31::satowgavel::satow or @msoThu May 06 1993 09:385
Another very late reply to the "smoking" string.

Q. Do you smoke after having sex?

A. I don't know.  I've never looked.
274.13Or...RICKS::PHIPPSThu May 06 1993 11:516
As I think it was from the movie Alice's Restaurant":

Q. Do you smoke after having sex?

A. No but it burns a little!

274.14MU::PORTERhave a nice datumMon May 10 1993 14:105
And what about those insufferably smug signs saying "Thank you for
not smoking" ?

They make me feel like lighting up a ciggie just so I can argue
that there's nothing saying I can't smoke.
274.15Politely firm? Firmly polite?THEBAY::GOODMANwalking on broken glass...Mon May 10 1993 17:367
    My favorite sign is out here in Sunny California:
    
    Please do not smoke while you are here.
    
    Seems to be polite, but firm.
    
    Roy
274.16Another anti-"Thank you for not smoking" voteGVPROD::BARTAGabriel Barta/ITOps&Mgmt/GenevaThu Jun 24 1993 07:236
Yes, I like "Please do not smoke while you are here."  

The thing that annoys me about "Thank you for not smoking" is that it 
_assumes_ that you aren't smoking, without having the guts to ask you 
not to.  I don't like people making convenient assumptions about my 
behaviour for their own benefit.