Conference thebay::joyoflex

    HAPPINESS IS SEEING YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW'S 
    PICTURE ON THE SIDE OF A MILK CARTON
    
    
    An old one...
    
    
    THREE MILE ISLAND - 0
    CHAPPAQUIDIC - 1

    I once had one that read "take a streaker to lunch". Which reminds
    me - there was a lady streaker at a recent cricket match in England.

    Remember when....
    
                      Air was clean 
              
                                     and
     
                                             Sex was dirty !!??            
     

    
    On my local vicar's car....
    
    Carpenter from Nazareth seeks joiners.  (May not be funny outside
    the UK ?)
    
    IP

    Re: .6
    
    The biblical and carpentry double meaning for "joiners" is clear
    enough.  Is there something else?  Why might it not be funny outside
    the UK?

    
    OK, I thought that "joiners", in the woodworking sense, might be
    a curiously English usage.  You never know !
    
    IP

...seen outside a fairly low looking gin mill in Vergennes, Vt.

    G'day
    
    'Chicken Little was Right'      
    
    
    A blank sticker is available, for those who do not want to get
    involved.
    
    
    Let's not meet by accident.
    
    
    Insanity is hereditary.... you get it from your kids.
    
    I aim to be around long enough to be a nuisance to my kids...
    
    Grow your own dope, plant a POM
    
    Save Mice, eat a pussy
    
    
    
    derek
    

    Heredity makes parents 
    wonder about each other.

    Tourist season has started here in Colorado Springs.  That
    means there are *lots* of RVs (aka Winnebozos) zipping
    down the freeway and even attempting to drive to the top
    of Pikes Peak..
    
    One popular bumber sticker on RVs is:
         "I'm spending my children's inheritance".

    
    My all-time fave;
    
    " Ex-husband's lover locked in boot."
    
    PBT.
    

Oldie but goodie.
Greg.

Seen yesterday in a Digital parking lot.

Dave C.

    Hate the way I drive?  You should see me putt!
    (then the name of the NH golf course)
    
    

I Brake for the Heck of It

    Re .19:
    
    I saw one similar:
    
                         I BRAKE FOR HALLUCINATIONS

    Somebody gave me ...
    
                        I BRAKE FOR NO REASON AT ALL
    

    (On a personal name, not a sticker... but I'm going to get it made
    into one if it kills me):
    
    I Brake For Tailgaters
    
    

	I don't brake for a$$holes

    I saw a bumper sticker the other night which left me wondering about
    the owners domestic tranquility.
    
    
                            51% SWEETHEART
                              49% BITCH

    On a parked car in Sacramento a few years ago:
    
    		WATCH OUT FOR EVERYONE

    So many pedestrians, so little time...
    
    
    On Robin Williams' sailboat trailer:
    
    	I'd rather be working.

               Women Make Great Leaders
                 You're Following One

                 HONK! IF YOU LOVE CHEESES.

    
    		WINEMAKERS DO IT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.
    

    Seen on the window of a Reading UK outdoor/camping equipment shop
    several years ago:
    
    Now is the Winter of Our Discount Tent.
    
    Also some graffito on the walls of the Gladstone Club Reading:
    
    There are bones buried under the junction!
                                              
    (It helps to realise that the Gladstone Club is close to Cemetery
    Junction a well known land mark so named because of the cemetery
    close by)
    
    Bucko...
                                     

    Many many years ago WCRB was (and perhaps still is) a source of
    the bumper stickers
    
    	ESCHEW OBFUSCATION
    
    and
    
    	REPEAL OHM'S LAW
    
    which have entered the realm of classics.
    
    I'm also whimsically fond of the all purpose
    
    	NUKE THE WHALES
                      
    len.
    

    I (spade) my dog.

    Unfortunately,
    
    		I (club) my wife

    Re .35:
    
              >I (club) my wife
                
    Makes her join all those Bridge groups, eh?
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    re: .33
    
    Another verson of NUKE THE WHALES, guaranteed to offend everyone:
    
    NUKE THE GAY WHALES FOR JESUS
    

	Seen on a bumper at the Mill:

	I (heart) my (clubs), 
	and other juggling bumper stickers

	Sam

    There is the classic:

            QUESTION AUTHORITY

    Which is taken a step further with:

            IGNORE AUTHORITY


    Another unrelated one:

            WE DON'T CARE     ( Bell/ATT ( at the time )
            WE DON'T HAVE TO     LOGO )

    Saw this one driving to work this morning:
    
    	SPEED KILLS!   DRIVE A
    	PEUGEOT & LIVE FOREVER

    ROUGHLEY VIA EARDLEY
    
    I read the first word and ignored the E, so wondered how much worse
    the road surface was about to get, or how one could get a bus route
    which was only defined at run-time.
    
    ;-)

    So many men
    So few with brains

    
    
                      My wife told me that if I go 
                      fishing once more she'll leave me.
                        God, I'm going to miss her!

	"Out of work?
	 Hungry?
	 Eat your Japanese Car"

This was on a beat-up *TOYOTA*!

Larry

    This was not on the bumper; it was painted on the front of the
    truck:
    
    			MACK
    
    		       PLANK
    
    							Ann B.

    
    Cancer Cures Smoking
    
    Aaron
    

    Life is a Terminal Disease
    
    This was back when the game of LIFE was taking untold computer hours at
    MIT.  With that explanation, the double meaning becomes obvious.

    Saw in an American movie:
    
       If you don't like the way I drive
       Get off the sidewalk
    

    Go to church now, beat the Christmas rush
    
    					16 January 1990

    Not on a bumper sticker, but painted on the back of a large tank truck
    that I saw on my way to work:


                                TECHNICAL
                                 ANIMAL
                                  FAT


    and below that:

                               Not intended
                              for human food


    I spent the rest of the drive wondering if this was perhaps the melted
    down remnants of engineers (technical animals?) that were no longer
    needed... 

    and what would happen if, despite the intentions of the trucking
    company, it did end up in human food..

    
    Re: -1
    
    If it did, it probably would wind up in the vending machines here.
    
    ;^)
    
    Kevin

	NUCLEAR WEAPONS- MAY THEY _RUST IN PEACE_

Dave

    "If you tailgate me, I'll flick a booger in your windshield."
    
    I thought....what kind of man would put something that disgusting 
    on the paint job of a nice truck?? Although, I suppose his threat 
    could be dangerous if one was to be driving a convertable. (-:

    My favorite....Never have seen it, but would LOVE to get it for
    my car:
    
    		"I HEART MY PICTURE OF A DOG"

			                 -=-=-=-=-=-=g=-=-=-=-=-=-

    re -1:
    
    I've actually seen a bumper sticker that says;
    
    		"I heart my cat head"
    
    					andrew

	A colleauge kindly presented me with :

		My other car is also a heap of crap.

    			THIS IS IT
    		    I have no other car.

... seen in ZKO3's parking lot on a certain model of Honda.




Honda Prelude, that is.

    In the vein of .41 (on the back of a rusty Peugeot 104)
    
                          0 TO 9.8
                          IN 100 SEC
    
    and on a Suzuki Alto
             
                         JAPANESE CADILLAC
    
    That one also had another sticker
    
                 THIS IS MY OTHER CAR
                 I GAVE THE JAG TO THE GARDENER
    
    
    
                                                      - Rik -

    TESTAROSTA

    In the same vein as identifying a dirty car as being covered
    with "test dirt", perhaps a rusty Fiat could have "testarusta".

    On a vehicle driven by a Native American:
    
               "Custer had it coming!"
    
    						Don

     The other day I passed a pickup truck with a blue plastic bug shield
     mounted across the hood that simply said:

                                  WRONG WAY

    (where the * character symbolizes the multicolored Apple Computer logo
    and the # character a red "heart" symbol; on the right side of the
    bumper, I've pasted a * over the # in the standard-issue "I # DIGITAL"
    bumper sticker)
    
    
    +-------------+ +-----------------------------------+  +-------------+
    | I # Digital | | I'd rather be driving a Macintosh |  | I * DIGITAL |
    +-------------+ +-----------------------------------+  +-------------+
    
    I've been thinking that for more clarity I should add a semicolon
    between the first two and a mathematical "therefore"
     .
    . .
    between the latter two...  :-)
    
    Dan Kalikow
    (Formerly of the Apple/Digital Joint Development Team, now pushing the
    "Alliance Product" in the PC Integration Field Resource Center,
    OFO-Burlington MA)
    

    Yes, the "therefore" would tell readers what you're talking about.

	"Save the whales, collect the whole set"

	and, just after LA's freeway shootings made the headlines...

	"Cover me, I'm pulling out to pass"



Ian S.

    Honk If Your Horn's Broken
    

                     RECYCLED MERCEDES
    
                   on a Honda Civic
    
    
          J  U  S  T     S  A  Y     N   O             [nitrous oxide]
                                       2

    
    	Eat dessert first,
    	Life is so uncertain.
    
    

    When I was in the U.S. I was passed by a Semi-trailer going up 495
    North, and he had two identical stickers under his headlights (one on
    each side):
    
    
    
    		+----------------------------+
    		| A V O I D  E X P O S U R E |
    		|  |			     |
    		\ -*------------------------ /
    		 \ |  LASER radiation is    /
    		  \  emmitted from apeture /
    		   \                      /
    		    +--------------------+
    
    But my favourite was given to me by a medical student friend who's been
    playing around with CAT scanners and such, and it's going on my next
    car...
    
    It has a trefoil on the left and the legend:
    
    			CAUTION: HIGH ENERGY RADIATION AREA
    
    I think it'd look good on the back of the car...	:-)
          

    Seen on a bumper here at ZKO, which is near a New Hampshire town which
    goes by the name of Derry,


    Love that Derry air!

Seen recently in California

"I break for coffee"

Larry

    	in Colorado Springs:
    
    "My kid is a <name of high school> honor student"
    
    	and
    
    "My kid beat up your honor student"		:-(

   Recently seen in Toronto:

   "I get paid weekly, very WEAKLY."

                                  SHOW DOGS
                               Do Not Tailgate
    
    I also surmise that during the actual shows, they are heavily trained
    NOT to engage in the kind of olfactory tailgating that could (heaven
    forfend!!) result in untoward displays of K-Y^H9 sexuality.
    
    Anyhow, this one gave me paws.
    

    G'day,
    
     Actually, it is a statement of fact, as showdogs are _far_ too snooty
    to consider such action... besides bitches in season get disqualified
    for cheating (they put the boy dogs into a state of mesmerism that
    precludes heeling for anyone!)
    
    djw

    My wife & I went through a litter of alternative hypotheses... 
    Including one, as exhortation to hang your feet outside the window
    (American slang for feet := "dogs").  In such a posture, it is
    well-nigh impossible to drive, let alone tailgate...
    
    And another, simpler exhortation, that we set a good example for the
    dogs by refraining.
    
    That's why we get along so well.. :-)