Conference thebay::joyoflex

    Red leather, yellow leather
    
    (Gramatically incorrect but ..)  The Leith police dismisseth us
    

    And the ever-popular...
    
    	Rubber baby buggy bumpers
    
    -- Bill

    Even worse is:
    
    Rubber baby buggy bumpers bumper baby buggy rubber.

    
    
    How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could
    slit sheets?                                                     

                                                                         

    
    
    	One from Scotland..(with translation) :^)
    
    	Lang may Ru'glens' wee roond rid lums reek!
    
    	Translated means...May the small cylindrical chimneys of Rutherglen
    	(an area of Glasgow) continue to emit smoke. :^)
    
    	Andy.
    

    The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.
    
	(from some funny-papers insert in last Sunday's Boston Glob.
    From memory, so it may actually be longer.)

    Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
    
    Sister Susie sits sewing shirts for soldiers.
    
    And the oldie:
    
    She sells seashells down by the seashore.
    
    BS
    

        Roseann MacLean in Ultrix Marketing has been known to use
        
        	"She sells 'C' Shells"
        
        as a personal name on VAXmail.  The first time I saw it, it
        broke me up!
        
        Tom

    	I take it you already know
    	Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
    	Others may stumble, but not you
    	On hiccough, through, slough, and though?
    	Well done!  And know you wish, perhaps
    	To learn of less familiar traps?
    	Beware of heard, a dreadful word
    	That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
    	And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
    	For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
    	Watch out for meat and great and threat,     
    	(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
	A moth is not a moth in mother,
    	Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
    						(source unknown)
    

    
    
    Here's another one to read aloud:
    
    One smart fella and he felt smart.
    Two smart fellas and they felt smart.
    Three smart fellas and they all felt smart.

                      Chuck

    The big black bug bled black blood.

I'm not a pheasant plucker
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
I'm only plucking pheasants
'til the other pluckers come

	Here's one for the Brits.  The context is the repair of pots 
	and pans.

	Lady: Are you aluminiuming 'em, my man?

	Servant: No, I'm copper-bottoming 'em, mum.

    Re: <<< Note 176.14 by KUDZU::ANDERSON "Give me a U, give me a T..." >>>

    I learned this one thus:
    
        "Are you copper-bottoming 'em, my man?"
    
        "No'm, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mum."
    
    Bill

    RE.13
    
    I learn't it like this....it's harder..
    
    I'm not a pheasant plucker
    I'm a pheasant pluckers son
    I sit here plucking pheasants
    'til the pheasant plucker comes
             
    
    Claire
    

    Shoeshine Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop
    Shoeshine Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop
    All day long she sits and shines and shines and sits and sits and
                                                               shines
    Susie Susie sitting in a shoeshine shop!!
    
    This is normally sung...(well after a fashion..)
    
    Claire
    
    

	re .13 and .16

	This was recorded as a "folk" song some years ago, with a number of
	different verses.  Good fun to sing on the way home from the pub!

	One verse that comes to mind goes more or less like this:

		I'm not the pheasant plucker,
		I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
		And, when he's plucking pheasants,
		It's a pheasant plucking life.

	Delia
	(Not a game bird!)

Re: .13, .16, .18 and the one about sheet-slitters

I learned two that are very similar, but a little different.

	I'm not a fig plucker
	Or a fig plucker's son,
	But I'll pluck figs
	'Til  the fig plucker comes.

And

	I'm not a sheet-slitter
	Or a sheet-slitters' son,
	But I'll slit sheets
	'Til the sheet-slitter comes.

Wook

    The pest pulled up, proped his pushbike at a pillarbox, paused at a
    post and pi$$ed. Pi$$ in the proper place pronounced a perturbed
    pedestrian, and presently this particular part of the planet was
    plunged into a panorama of public pressure and pleasure through
    pain. Arrest the pest who so pointedly pi$$ed in that public place
    pleaded the peaved people, practically palpultating. The powerful
    police picked up the pest, pronounced him a poof, a pansy, a punk
    rocker, a pinko, a poodle poker. They picked him up, pummelled his
    pelvis, punctured his pipes, played ping pong with his pubic parts
    and packed him in a place of penal putrifaction. The period in prison
    proved pityless. The pennyless pressure of a painless personality
    purge, prompted the pest to ponder upon progressive politics and
    the workable prognosis. He put pen to paper, and provocatively and
    persuasively propagated his personal political premise. Pity. A
    police provocateur put poison pellets in the pest's porridge. The
    police provocateur was promoted and the pest was presented with
    the pulitzer peace prize, posthumastly.
    
                                                 (John Cooper Clarke)
    
    Apologies for any incorrect spelling in the above, but if you still
    have difficulty getting your tongue around that, here's an easier
    one:
    
    A blokes' back brake block's broke.
    
    Julian.
    
    

    >> has _no_ vowels in it.  Could this be true??

    Welsh uses "y" and "w" as vowels...

English uses 'y' as a vowel, too.  There are hundreds of examples. 
Philately, philology, library, try.

Don't you think Wheel of Fortune should sell y's for $250 when they're
used as vowels?

Dave C.

    Re .23 (Dave C.):
    
    >English uses 'y' as a vowel, too.
    
    Why?
    
    ;-)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    Shetland sheep shearers shrewdly share shears.
    
    No vowels?  How is that possible?  How could you establish Rhythm?
    How could you be in syzygy?

    Here are some more twongue tisters:
    
    1. The sinking steamer sunk.
    
    2. If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker
       It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock
       Or some joker who is slicker's going to trick you of your liquor
       If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

    
    
    	If two witches were watching two watches,
    	which witch would watch which watch?
    
    	
    	Giusi
    

From the Smothers Brothers:

Dick:  My old man's a cotton-pickin', finger lickin' chicken plucker, 
	what do you think about that?

Tom:  I think you'd better not make a mistake.

    Betty Botter bought some butter, but she said, "This butter's bitter. 
    If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.  But a bit of
    better butter, that will make my batter better."  So she bought a bit
    of butter better than the bitter butter.  Then she put it in her batter
    and the batter was not bitter.  So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a
    bit of better butter.
    
    Whew!
    
    Wook

    Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers.
    A peck of oickled peppers, Peter Piper picked.
    If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
    Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

    She sells seashells by the seashore.
    The shells she sells are seashells, I'm sure. (Little known 2nd verse.)
    
    Seven swans swam swiftly seaward.
    
    A big black bug bit a big black bear 
    And made the big black bear bleed blood.

Red lorry, yellow lorry
Red lorry, yellow lorry
Red lorry, yellow lorry
Red lorry, yellow lorry

etc

    One for Independence Day
    
    If you go forth on the 4th with a fifth......
    
    ...On the 5th you will not be able to go forth.
    
    ch

    Try this one fast and several times in a row:
    
    I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit.

    >Try this one fast and several times in a row:
    >
    >I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit.
    
    	Try this:
    
        I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit.
        And on the slitted sheet I sit.

    Today's Richard Lederer article featured tongue twisters. Many of 'em
    have already appeared here, but there were a few items I hadn't seen
    before, such as these additions to the short-but-tricky "Toy Boat"
    class of tongue twisters: "Peggy Babcock" and "pure food for poor
    mules". [I did OK with the mules, but Peggy really threw me.]
    
    The column also had some international entries, but I can't determine
    the lingual torque capacities of the following - if I read them slowly,
    the twist-inducers don't kick in, and if I read 'em fast I'll get mixed
    up whether they're bona fide twisters or not. [Native speakers, kindly
    indicate whether any of these are real twisters (with or without
    whiskers on them) - and please be kind regarding missing punctuation,
    phonetic renderings of non-English alphabets, and freehand
    translations. I got it all from the paper, so it's the editor's fault.
    Really.]
    
    You may speak when ready.
    
    Spanish: "Tres tristes tigres tragaban trigo en un trigal."
    	(Three sad tigers swallow wheat in a wheat field.)
    
    	     "Rapido ruedan los carrios, cargados de azucar al ferrocarril."
    	(Fast run the cars, loaded with sugar, on the railroad.)
    
    French: "Les chemises de l'archiduchesse, sontelles seches ou
    	archi-seches?"
    	(The shorts of the archduchess, are they dry or overdry?)
    
    	    "Je suis ce que je suis. Je ne suis pas ce que je suis. Car si
    	je suis ce que je suis, je ne suis pas ce que je suis."
    	(I am what I am. I am not what I follow. For if I am what I follow,
    	then I am not what I am.)
    
    German: "Zehn zahme [Zebra] sitzen im Zuricher Zoo."
    	(Ten tame zebras sit in the Zurich Zoo.)
    
    	    "Richtige rote Rennfahrer rennen rasch durch Rothenburg."
    	(Real red racedrivers drive quickly through Rothenburg.)
    
    Russian: "Toorka koorit troobku, koorka klyuawt prootku."
    	(A Turk smokes a pipe; a chicken pecks a twiglet.)
    
    Turkish: "Sheeshyem sheeshye, shyukryu sheeshmaan oldoo."
    	(Shukru turned into a fat man.)
    
    Wasn't that fun?
    
    -b

>>     "Rapido ruedan los carrios, cargados de azucar al ferrocarril."
>>    	(Fast run the cars, loaded with sugar, on the railroad.)

I heard this one in high school Spanish class (r is pronounced "ere", two 
(syllables) -
	"'R' con 'R' cigarro,
	 'R' con 'R' barril.
	 Rapido corren los carros
	 Cargado de azucar en el ferrocarril."

	"R with R, cigar.
	 R with R, barrel.
	 Fast run the cars
	 loaded with sugar on the railroad."

This is especially hard for beginning Spanish students who are English
speakers, because a double r is trilled, and a single one is not, so you
are switched in and out of "trill mode" in this one faster than you can
actually do it (at least faster than I could do it!)

    I remember the following from my Berlitz German class lo these many
    moons ago:
    
    Sie sind zusammen zum Zug gegangen. (They went to the train together)

    	In English it is called red cabbage. In the fields it is purple,
    but it contains a natural indicator. The English normally eat it
    pickled, and with the vinegar it is red. If you boil it in slightly
    alkaline water then it appears blue.

    Re .42, and .41...  maybe I entered the timewarp quotation in the
    wrong topic :-)
    
    Anyway:
    
    >The English normally eat it pickled,
    
    Are you sure you don't mean the Irish?  Aren't they the ones with the
    reputation for eating, or doing any other activity, pickled?  :-)