Conference thebay::joyoflex

    
    ARCHITECHTURE.
    
    Everything should be architectures nowadays. Soon we'll probably
    refer to the lunch menu as "Lunch Management Architechture, LMA".
    
    METHODOLOGY.
    
    I've the feeling that "methodology" is sometimes used as a beefed-up
    version of "method". But there is actually a difference.
    
    Ake

    By "new/improved" do you mean invented since the following tome
    hit the network?
    
                                     NOT

                            THE DIGITAL DICTIONARY

                                      or
    
                           "A Fistful of Floppies"
    
                      A guide to Understanding DECspeak,
                       Illogical Grammar, Misspellings,
                       Euphemisms, and other Code Words
                    Used in Digital Equipment Corporation

    The title doesn't state it explicitly, but at much of the discussion
    here is about buzzwords.

    
    Allow me to translate 'portability'. It means written in C. :-)
    
    jc
    p.s. No one seems to have mentioned the new, granulated, guaranteed
         to make everyone feel comfortable word, "platforms". As in
         the VMS platform and the Ultrix platform, etc. ( And some of
         you might have thought they were shoes.... :-) )
    

    From a quarterly review of a sales rep:
    
    "X.. needs to proactively work to grow her skills and increase 
    penetration of this account at the appropriate decisioning levels."
    
    Huh?
    

    When we announced the Calypso (VAX 6200) systems, I watched the
    annoucement here in the ZK caf with a lot of other people. They were
    announced as the "VAX 6200 series solutions platforms." I said a little
    loudly, "Gee, and here I'd thought they were computers!" I was pleased
    that laughter spread through the room. 
    
    	Jon

    The same is true for "technology" - used mostly in the wrong place...
    

    Surely the ultimate buzzword is:
    
    		User-friendly

    Which when translated means:
    
	    	As attractive as a cornered rat

    Nick

RE -1 (Nick)
    
>    		User-friendly
>    Which when translated means:
>	    	As attractive as a cornered rat

I thought "user-friendly" meant either "only for friendly users" or
"works only when the user is friendly".

Arie

    	Now who was it that used the personal name of "computer-friendly
    liveware"?

    My latest "Pet-Peeves"
    
    Doable  - Does this mean that if you can't complete the
              specific task in question that it's "Undoable"?
    
    Xeroxed - I saw this in a Documentation Plan.  Since when is
              the trade make for the Xerox Corp. a verb?
    

>    Xeroxed - I saw this in a Documentation Plan.  Since when is
>              the trade make for the Xerox Corp. a verb?
    
Since about a year after they became popular.  Certainly by the mid-60's 
"Xeroxed" was in popular use.  Xerox is fighting it, of course, since 
they don't want to lose the rights to their name, but it looks like a 
losing battle.
					>>>==>PStJTT

    Never heard Xeroxed used. We do, however, make lots of photocopies.

    I would have thought Xerox to be more than happy that their brand
    name is being used in a general way when talking about 
    photo-cop-stat-iesisis .
    
    Rather like 'hoover' . (No , not J Edgar) .
    
    John J

>   I would have thought Xerox to be more than happy that their brand
>   name is being used in a general way when talking about 

        They probably realize that you can get "Xeroxed" on Canon, IBM,
        etcetera copiers.

        Certainly McDonalds didn't appreciate it when a motel chain
        decided to open up a string of cut-rate places and called them
        MacSleep!!

        They got the court to agree that it was trading on Mac's good
        name and reputation. The motel has to pick a different name and
        all of those signs have to come down.

    It's tough.  You want a good name and you want people to use it,
    but not too much because then you'll lose your exclusivity.  Both
    "cellophane" and "aspirin" started out as trademarks.  Just recently
    the Thermos company lost the exclusive right to call glass vacuum
    bottles after themselves.  That's why advertisements always say
    "use Kleenex brand facial tissues" instead of "use Kleenex".  
    
    Just imagine the advantage Bayer would have today if they were the only
    ones sellilng aspirin, which they invented by the way, and all the
    other manufacturers of the white crystalline compound of
    acetylsalicylic acid had to sell it under that name?
    
    Xerox and Coca-Cola have platoons of lawyers who do nothing but
    write letters to publishers complaining about using Coke and Xerox
    as common words, often uncapitalized.  Coca-cola even has people
    roaming the country asking in every little soda shop for "a Coke".
    If they're served anything but The Real Thing, the owners get a
    letter from one of those lawyers, and sometimes a followup visit.
    
    The worst thing that can happen to a trademark is to become a word.
    Every maker of jackknives has a "Barlow" in their line.  Used to
    be only Barlow could sell them.
    
    

    I've heard "Xerox" used as a verb for years.  But a friend of mine
    who worked for IBM once had something like the following conversation
    with a secretary:
       "Would you xerox this for me, please?" said he.
       "What?"
       "Would you xerox this, please?"
       "Oh, you mean PHOTOCOPY it."
    
    Re .11
    
    > Doable  - Does this mean that if you can't complete the
    >           specific task in question that it's "Undoable"?
    
    When I've heard it used, that's exactly what it means.
    
    	- Win
    

    re: .18
    
    A friend's sister noticed that the copy machine down the hall from
    her office wasn't working.  Hmm.  Call company.
    
    "Hello, Service Department."
    "Hi, this is so-and-so from such-and-such, and our xerox machine
    isn't working... Can you send somebody out, and look at it?"
         (***  notice lack of CAPS on "xerox"... ***)
    "(long pause.) (frostily)  We will send out an IBM Service 
    Representative to examine your copy machine this afternoon."
    "(equally long pause.)  Oh.  Thanks."
    
    Same thing goes for Frisbee.  It's not a frisbee, it's a flying
    disc.
    
    McDonald's also jumped on somebody who opened a restaurant named
    "McSushi"...  Fast food, served raw.
    
    :^)
    Bill

    If you don't like the verb "xerox," you're really not going to like
    its elided form, "xox." It's pronounced "zocks."
    
    	Jon

      Re 'doable'
      
      'Undoable' should mean capable of being undone.  To undo something
      is to return it to the state it was in before the something
      was done.   "Undo your shoe laces, Johnny, before pulling off
      your shoes."  The shoe laces are undoable.
      
      If there were to be a word to describe something which cannot be
      done, it would be 'indoable' or 'nondoable.' 
      
      Dave C.

    I used to do consulting at Xerox. They got upset if you said you
    were going to xerox something in their own offices.

Re: Xerox

	It could be worse...what if A.B. Dick invented the copier first?

    Right. Can you imagine "aeebee"ing an original to get a copy?
    

What about the phrase:


	MASSIVELY PARALLEL COMPUTING


Is this macho, or what?

    re .25, "Massively parallel computing"
    
    No, there's a real distinction between small-scale paralleism
    (two to ten), medium-scale (hundreds) and large-scale
    parallelism (tens of thousands and up).
    
    Each regime has typical kinds of attributes (cost, kind of hardware,
    problems it is good for, programming methods and so on).
    
    			-John Bishop

    John's comment in .26 is correct. While you (or we) might say, "There
    MUST be a better term," it is usefully descriptive. I don't know of a
    good alternative. At least it hasn't turned into MPC (yet). 

>                       -< Sorry, it's the standard term >-
>[...]
>    No, there's a real distinction between small-scale paralleism
>    (two to ten), medium-scale (hundreds) and large-scale
>    parallelism (tens of thousands and up).
    
Odd, if it's the standard term, that you didn't use it in your 
description.  Or is there a leap from large-scale (tens of thousands and 
up) to massive (even more up than up)?

					>>>==>PStJTT

    Can we combine .0, .6 and .25 into PMPSSP?
    That's
    Proactive Massively Parallel Series Solutions Platforms
    in case you couldn't guess.
    
    Is this the way you get to become a consulting engineer?

    Re: .30
    
    Not at Digital. Digital doesn't have "consulting engineers". It has
    "consultant engineers" instead. I tried to get personnel to change the
    title about ten years ago and failed, even after getting about 75% of
    those engineers to sign a petition.
    
    But I've got "consulting" on my business card! 

    As for other buzzwords, my current favorites are:
    
    internationalization  (makes a good password -- lots of letters,
      fairly easy to type)

    connectivity  (I know it's a valid term -- but it's overused)
    
    work that issue  
    
    own that project
    
    I think the game (correct me if I'm wrong) is to see who has the
    bravado or importance to pull off the most outrageous useage
    successfully  -- what I don't know is if there's a prize!  
    
    Sherry
    

    Yes, there is a prize. You get that warm, smug, all-knowing feeling
    inside that goes with foisting another abomination off on hoi polloi.

    
    It took me two months to finally figure out that the term I18N,
    a term used all the time in SWS/E at least, stands for 
    internationalization.
    
    I cannot imagine what X400 stands for though.
    
    /sad

    X.400 (sometimes pronounced "x dot 400") is the ISO electronic mail
    standard.  Standards and standards bodies are routinely identified
    by arcane acronyms and abbreviations.
    
    Does the 18 in I18N mean 18 letters?  Cute.
    
    len.
    

    Re .34 an I18N...
    
    There is someone in Europe who habitually signs his name S14N, because
    it is difficult to spell and to pronounce, so S14N is also his VAXMAIL
    name.
    
    Nick

    A new buzzword I've heard lately (goes along with "opportunity")
    is "career-limiting".  Yuck!

    "Career limiting" is hardly new, but perhaps that's beside the point.

    The term is very descriptive, and it's short. What would the author of
    .37 suggest for an alternative? 

RE -2 (Nick)

>    There is someone in Europe who habitually signs his name S14N, because
>    it is difficult to spell and to pronounce, so S14N is also his VAXMAIL

I know of him. It is Jan Scherpenhuizen. I only thought it was S12N: start with
the S, 12 characters follow, close with N.

This must be the new escape for Digital! They told me that Digital is performing
not so well lately, because there were no unused TLA's left! :-)

Arie

    Re -2 and -4
    
    Yes it is S12N, not S14N
    
    And the moral of the story is:
    
    	"If you've got the manual to hand, refer to it"
    
    Which abbreviates to:
    
    	"Don't rely on memory alone".

    Nick

     re .41
     
>>   "If you've got the manual to hand, refer to it"
     
     Shouldn't that be "at hand" instead of "to hand"?
     
     Dan

    re: .42 (Dan)
    
>>   "If you've got the manual to hand, refer to it"
>     
>     Shouldn't that be "at hand" instead of "to hand"?
    
    	   Actually, no.  It should be:
    
    	   "Look it up yourself!"
    
    - Greg

>>>   "If you've got the manual to hand, refer to it"
>>     
>>     Shouldn't that be "at hand" instead of "to hand"?
    
>    	   Actually, no.  It should be:
    
>    	   "Look it up yourself!"
 
    Which in turn is further abbreviated:
    
    		RTFM!
    
    					andrew   
    

     Just a short time ago I read something else that had "to
     hand" where I would have used "at hand."  Is the preference
     for one or the other geographical?
     
     Dan

    Re .34
    
    Internationalization = 14zat3
    
    'I18N' is old hat already.
    
    -N2l
    

    The other day the FS engineer told me "DC dump" could that be the
    garbage disposal of Washington DC???
    Rudi.
    

    Re .47 (Rudi):
    
    More likely he meant to say "C D dump."
    
    As in "C Spot run." ;-)
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

     
    Re .46
    
    Nope. Can't use 14zat3 because the folks across the pond replace
    the 'z' with an 's' and, in the spirit of I18N ...........
    
    

    RE .49 -
    
    Ratz! You are right, your zenzitivity to the problemz of I18Nization
    iz admirable.
    
    The cross-the-ponders will have to create their own local language 
    variant: 13 I sat 3.
    
    -N2L

    Re .41 etc.
    
    I don't think the distinction's as neat/easy as the geographical
    idea in .45 (although I shouldn't be surprised to be told that people
    one side of the ocean tend to ignore the distinction more than
    people on the other).  
    
    The way I understand it, `to hand' refers to the physical nearness of
    an object (usually within immediate reach), whereas `at hand' refers to
    the less immediate nearness of an agent or agency (often human). EG:
    
    	o	the book was to hand/help was at hand
    
    	o	someone in a tight corner might either reach for the 
                first weapon that came TO hand or hope that reinforcements
                were AT hand. 

    
    b            

                         "the thought came to mind"?

    
    My dictionary (Collins English) says:
    
    	o  at hand - very near or close, esp. in time
    
    	o  on hand - close by; present
    
    	o  to hand - accessible
    
    Consequently, something could be to hand without being at hand,
    and _vice versa_.
    
    Mat.
    *:o)
    

    
    Underware - a $1.98 name for a program that runs transparently.
    
    Mouseable - a program that you can control with a mouse. 
    
    Bruce

	There did actually used to be a company called "UnderWare"
	developing PC based sofware.  Their main product was called
	the Basic Reconfiguarable Interactive Editing Facility

		- BRIEF

    Re -.1
    
    I understand the company had a short history: It was stripped of all 
    assets, brought to its knees, and, exposed to the marketplace, slowly
    went down. Or was there a coverup someplace?
                                                                 
    Bruce
     

   Hello everyone,
    
    I have just spent a very enjoyable few minutes reading this conference.
                                   
    I love everyone's sense of humour - I've driving my colleague, Paul
    Joy potty cos I keep giggling and he's busily working away creating
    DECslides for a presentation -                                
                                                                 
    
    Regards
    
    Janice Sackfield
    Warrington UK 

RE -1 (Janice)

>    ..... - I've driving my colleague, Paul
>    Joy potty cos I keep giggling .....

Remind him of a relative: Sharon N. Joy

Arie

    And his blind Chinese cousin, the airline pilot, No Joy.

    Paul to friends, Joy to the world.

    You are all mad !!!!
    
    No Paul doesn't know Sharon N. Joy
          
    Have a wonderful Xmas and New Year
    Love  
    Janice

>    You are all mad !!!!

Finally, someone who understands us....

Arie

    having been on the road for some time, coming to read the replies
    to .47 just now, and I do jiggle, for you take me for the "people
    from the other side of the pond" (of course I take it for a compliment)
    but I am from Germany (as a complement). In future I'll convert
    to English "No more ZZZZs". Happy holidays,
    Rudi
    

While going through our latest round of "affordability" exercises (there's 
another abomination), I read about "Midcro" metrics.  Somewhere between 
"Macro" and "Micro".

Arrrgggghhhh!!!

Larry

This seems as good a place as any to enter the following little gem that arrived
in a memo this morning.  No names, no pack-drill.  (And if the writer is reading
this, then I'm not in for the next several months... :-)

	"...we will be transitioning to this new organisation as
	 we work the details of roles and responsibilities..."

No comment!

Mat.
*:o)

    Re .67
    
    Don't worry Mat. The writer is away on holiday. Usual procedure for
    reorganisation announcements.
    
    Dick