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Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

519.0. "Quasi-Legal Puns" by LAMHRA::WHORLOW (I Came,I Saw,I concurred) Mon May 09 1988 13:45

    G'day,
    
    I give full credit for the following to my new_at_Uni son, who in
    the first semester has learnt inter-alia, to create some wonderful new
    paper plane designs ......
    
    
    Did you hear about the man who was arrested today? Apparently he
    had built a saline  power generator...
    
    
    he was arrested for a salted battery
    
    Derek
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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519.1Hit what?AYOV29::ISMITHSee those shores! What shores?Mon May 09 1988 16:479
    This reminds me of the man who threw a bottle of Domestos into the
    confession box at the church.
    
    He was arrested for...
    
    	Bleach of the priest.
    
    
    Ian.
519.2ULYSSE::WADEMon May 16 1988 15:0014

	 ... and reminds me of the man who created a perfect reproduction 
	of himself that unfortunately imitated him in public accurately
	in all regards except that it (the reproduction) *swore* an awful
	lot and so the man took his creation and pushed it out of a 23rd	
	storey window.  Pant.  He was arrested on a charge of



		MAKING AN OBSCENE CLONE FALL

		:-)

519.3A window of opportunity?SSDEVO::HUGHESNOTE, learn, and inwardly digestMon May 16 1988 22:183
    ... and when arrested he said he only acted in

    	SELF DEFENESTRATION
519.4LAMHRA::WHORLOWI Came,I Saw,I concurredTue May 17 1988 06:569
    G'day,
    
    Then there was the person arrested for spreading garbage around
    a Boy Scout campsite. he was arrested for....
    
    
    Littering within tent...
    
    Derek
519.5TKOV51::DIAMONDThis note is illegal tender.Wed Apr 04 1990 14:3522
    How do you tell if a lawyer is lying?
    
    Her lips move.
    
    
    
    
    Who comes down a lawyer's chimney at Christmas time?
    
    Escape Clause.
    
    
    
    Different brand of "legal" dept.....
    
    When C was first implemented under VMS, a friend had trouble with
    a "switch" statement using "int" values, because the case constants
    required more than 16 bits.  His quip:
    
    What's the difference between in VMS C and going on vacation?
    
    For a vacation, you put your shorts in cases.