[Search for users] [Overall Top Noters] [List of all Conferences] [Download this site]

Conference thebay::joyoflex

Title:The Joy of Lex
Notice:A Notes File even your grammar could love
Moderator:THEBAY::SYSTEM
Created:Fri Feb 28 1986
Last Modified:Mon Jun 02 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1192
Total number of notes:42769

153.0. "Governmentese" by DONJON::MCVAY (Ask Dr. Science! (He's not a real doctor.)) Mon Mar 03 1986 12:04

    A friend of mine in the Royal Air Force stationed on Malta showed
    me this instruction from an ordnance storage manual.  Loosely quoted:
    
    	"These bombs must be stored upside-down, to keep the primer
    	fuse in operating condition.  Therefore, the top of the storage
    	case shall be labelled BOTTOM, and the bottom of the storage
    	case shall be labelled TOP, and the cases shall be stored with
    	the case bottom facing up."
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
153.1DONJON::MCVAYAsk Dr. Science! (He's not a real doctor.)Mon Mar 03 1986 12:052
    Before someone comments on the title of this note:  yes, I'm aware
    that "governmentese" isn't a word.  It is, now...
153.2NANDI::PARODIJohn H. ParodiMon Mar 03 1986 12:5810
It's not only the government.  I read an instruction from one of my wife's
sewing patterns which put me into a loop for a few minutes:

    - Turn fabric wrong side out


Huh?

JP
153.3...and they are usFDCV01::BEAIRSTOFri Mar 07 1986 19:335
    It's all around us: I know of a program that includes the comment
    
    	! DELETE PREVIOUS LINE
    
    Rob :-(
153.4Initial instructionsTOPDOC::SLOANEWed May 07 1986 17:489
    When I was in the Navy, we would initial memos and pass them on.
    One day I received a memo back with the following instructions:
                                            
    THIS DOCUMENT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU.
    
    ERASE YOUR INTIALS AND INTIAL THE ERASURE
    
    
    
153.5Anticipatory RetaliationCACHE::MARSHALLhunting the snarkTue Jan 13 1987 18:366
                                                   
                  /
                 (  ___
                  ) ///
                 /
    
153.6Fire When they lift offREGENT::MERRILLIf you've got it, font it.Tue Jan 13 1987 20:113
    translation of .5 is "dey's fired but dey hasn't hit us yet, but
    we an'gonna stan fer it."
    
153.7Another translation of Anticipatory RetaliationBOEHM::CASWELLWed Jan 14 1987 13:1012
    
    .6 has got the translation wrong (unless I miss understand him(her?).
    
    Anticipatory Retaliation is "I think that they are going to fire
    at us, so we better retaliate before they blow away our ability
    to do so."
    
    An example of typical, confusing, dangerous military thinking (or
    is it not thinking) and talking.
    
    Peter
    
153.8.7 it isCACHE::MARSHALLhunting the snarkWed Jan 14 1987 14:0910
    re .6:
    
    .7 is what I interpret it mean, and the way I think it is used.
                                                   
                  /
                 (  ___
                  ) ///
                 /                            
    
    i.e. a euphemism for an unprovoked attack.
153.9AKOV68::BOYAJIANA disgrace to the forces of evilThu Jan 15 1987 10:037
    This reminds me of a sign-off quote someone has been using
    on Usenet:
    
    "Diplomacy is a way of saying 'nice doggie' while you're
    looking for a rock."
    
    --- jerry
153.10what goes up is presumed to come downREGENT::MERRILLIf you've got it, font it.Fri Jan 16 1987 16:0113
    re: .7 Not right because that would mean fire when they go to highest
    state of alertness.  It means Fire before impact because impact
    would destroy our silos.  In practicallity it means fire AFTER they
    fire (which you can tell because you see the heat of the liftoff(s))
    but BEFORE they have a chance to "recall" (range officier destroys)
    their outgoing missles.
    
    The ability to send up bombers yet recall them reliably is attractive
    because we CAN (and do) stop them before the other side must fire.
    
    	Rick
    	Merrill
    
153.11also an oxymoronCACHE::MARSHALLhunting the snarkFri Jan 16 1987 18:3623
    re .10:
    
    Who said anything about a nuclear exchange?
    
    This term "anticipatory retaliation" has been used to describe various
    miliary operations, in southeast asia in particular.
    
    besides, once their missiles have been fired, they have attacked. You
    are no longer anticipating an attack. You are merely anticipating
    the effects.
    
    Anticipatory means that the action has not yet occured.
    Retaliation is a response to an attack.
    
    Thus Anticipatory Retaliation is a response to an attack that has
    not occurred, i.e. a "first-strike".                  
                                                   
                  /
                 (  ___
                  ) ///
                 /
    
    
153.12Thumb screw timeSSDEVO::GOLDSTEINFri Jan 16 1987 23:378
    Re: .11
    
    If you're right, and your logic seems flawless, then "anticipatory
    retaliation" is just a euphemism for "first strike" or "unprovoked
    attack."  There is certainly no punishment too harsh for people who
    invent terms like that.
    
    Bernie         
153.13Anticipatory FlameDRAGON::MCVAYPete McVay, VRO (Telecomm)Sat Jan 17 1987 15:198
    RE: 153.14
    
    I think you are a complete idiot!  How dare you presume to match
    wits and judgement in such erudite company?  Calling me names like
    you did is completely out of place!  You should be banned from the
    net!
    
    	-- Entered in anticipation of the reply to this reply...
153.15BEING::POSTPISCHILAlways mount a scratch monkey.Mon Jan 19 1987 00:246
    Re .13:
    
    Gotcha.
    
    
    				-- edp
153.16This Language is MIL-SPECSEAPEN::PHIPPSDigital Internal Use OnlyTue Nov 24 1987 19:4022
Back to the general topic:

From:	Steve (DICKNS::)Wellcome 
In:	CLOSET::DOCUMENT
Note:	330.6
Title:	An example of government-ese

    Here's a gem I noticed in a milspec document some time ago and preserved
    for posterity:
    
MIL-M-38510/121A

2. APPLICABLE DOCUMENTS
.
.
.

2.1 Government specifications and standards.  Unless otherwise specified, the 
following specifications and standards, of the issue listed in that issue of
the Department of Defense Index of Specifications and Standards specified in
the solicitation, form a part of this specification to the extent specified
herein.