Conference taveng::bagels

        If we have an artificial intelligence program and we provide it
        with a database consisting of the Tanach, the Mishna, the
        Tosefta, the two Gemarot, rabbinic responsa, etc., can we use it
        to generate valid halachic responsa?
        
        Suppose we have three such computers, each with the identical
        program and database, can they constitute a bet din?
        
        When the same question is posed to these three computers and they
        come up with different opinions--we're talking about Jewish A.I.
        here--how do we know which to follow?
        
        Normally, one puts a mezuzah on the doorpost of a residence, but
        not of a workplace; if an artificial intelligence program resides
        on my VAX, do we need a mezuzah for the computer room?
        
        Does the yichus of the program make a difference?  For instance,
        does it have to be written by a Jewish woman?  If it was done by
        a team consisting of a married woman and a man other than her
        husband, is the program a mamzer?

        We have been researching these questions, using not only
        conventional sources, but some newly discovered Wet Sea Scrolls
        from the library of the Qumquat community, a group of esthetes
        that lived somewhere between six months and three thousand years
        ago, according to the carton dating data currently available.
        (Unfortunately, the mold on the cream cheese cartons prevents
        more accurate dating.)
        
        One of the best sources has been the account of the Golem of
        Prague, although some people argue that this was a better example
        of ceramic technology than artificial intelligence since the
        Golem was made out of clay and couldn't even make change for a
        ruble.  The answer to that of course, is that only one out twenty
        Jews in those days could make change for a ruble, since at best
        the average savings account held two groschen.
        
        We did interview a number of contemporary scholars, such as the
        Schmaltze Rebbe, Moshe Gribbenes.  (The Schmaltze Hassidim,
        although not as well known as the Lubavitchers, have a long
        tradition of obscurity.)  Reb Moshe held that the program could
        only be valid if converted according to Halacha, although he
        could see that taking it to the mikveh might pose a problem.
        
        Rabbi F. Saltonstall Shindleman, of Temple Suburbia, didn't think
        that was an issue since he felt that anyone can suggest what they
        think Halacha should be and no one really pays any attention
        anyway.  The Reform tradition of this Temple, according to Rabbi
        Shindleman, focuses much more concern on artificial morality,
        rather than artificial intelligence.
        
        Rabbi Marcia Rosewasser, who was not considered for the
        Presidency of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, when that
        position was last filled, thought we posed the questions in too
        complex a way.  "We need to transvalue the eschatological
        implications of this immanent consciousness, to put it in simpler
        terms," said Rabbi Rosewasser.  "That way it becomes resonant for
        modern thinking Jews."
        
        Rabbi Herman Johnson, of Young Israel of Maynard, wasn't sure if
        such a program could serve as a Posik, but he wanted to know if
        it would run on laptops, because if he could get ten of them, his
        small modern Orthodox congregation would always have a minyan for
        the daily services.  "Around here, it's easy to find computers,
        but Jews who want to daven is another story."
        
        Simcha Cohen, Rabbi of Congregation Anashim v'Nashim pointed out
        that although Rabbis could make any changes they wanted in
        Halacha, the same is not true for laypersons, who "are really
        ignorant about anything Jewish even though many of them are
        rich."  The Conservative movement, said Rabbi Cohen, is not about
        to ordain computers, especially in a tight job market.
        
        Now these responses are not necessarily definitive, but should
        provide a starting point for those who for some incomprehensible
        reason wish to pursue this line of investigation ad absurdum.

    The Chief Rabbinate in Israel can point you to the correct
    direction(s).
    
    I did read about a database existing in Jerusalem (?) which contains
    most of the rabbinical judgments and is actually used by Thora
    students. You would type in some keywords (e.g. car, drive, shabbath)
    and the system would guide you through a sequence of questions to
    precisely define the set of problems you wish to deal with, and respond
    with what has been said/done/defined up so far in this or related
    areas. 
    
    Sounds very mych like a tutoring experts system, to me.
    
    Any TAVENGers out there with more details?
    
    Pointingly yours,
    
    Chris

    Just in case the point of this wasn't clear, let me be more explicit.

    There is a Purim tradition of making up parodies of things such as
    sermons, divrai Torah, etc.  This note was intended as a place for
    these spoofs.

                                        Aaron

    Jews and others worldwide are aghast at the call by the Lubavitcher
    Rebbe offering a reward to anyone who zotses writer Salmon Loxdie,
    author of "The Meshuggeh Verses".
    
    Loxdie, born to a Lubavich family in the Bombay Heights section
    of Brooklyn, was last reported living in Philadelphia, where he
    taught literature at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College. 
    His previous books, "Midnight's bubbehs" and "Shonda", were widely
    acclaimed and read among book critics for secularist newspapers,
    but ignored among the mainstream Jewish readership.  But "The Meshuggeh
    Verses" was drawn from obscurity when rioters in Williamsburg yelled,
    "treife" and burned copies of it last fall.  They were incited by
    the Rebbe, who called the book "chazzerai".
    
    In the novel, a layman named Best decides to start a new sect, based
    upon poskim received anonymously, which come from both the angel
    Moe and, unbeknownst to him, the geshmott Paul.  Best's followers
    form a large and powerful movement that sells absolutions (but only
    for votes) and is suspected of covering up insider trading deals
    on wall street (through their ownership of Shneerson Lehman).

662.8>	You aren't supposed to benefit from treif animals, not just only
662.8>	"not from meat and milk".

Does this mean that it is forbidden to bet on (American) football games,
since, if you win, you would be deriving benefit from the use of a pigskin?

On the other hand, would pikuach nefesh apply if the skin was taken from
a pig, the heart valves of which were implanted into a person with heart
trouble (as described in 662.9)?  Would that person, at least, be permitted
to place such bets, given that he had already gained benefit from that animal?
Would other people be permitted to place bets under these conditions?  How
could one be certain that a permitted football was being used in a particular
game?  Are there O.U. footballs?  Would the referee have to be a qualified
mashgiach?

    I know this is somewhat off the topic of the basenote, but...
    
    I have a question about Hamentaschen.
    
    From my days in Sunday school, I remember that these were meant
    to signify Hamen's Hat, which was triangular in shape.  But what 
    was the significance of his hat that makes it part of the holiday?
    And what exactly did he do to the Jews?  Boy, am I embarrassed.
    And what language is this name in (the German for pocket/book is
    tasch)?
    
    At the bakery where I sometimes buy Hamentaschen, the lady behind
    the counter wondered what they were... and I couldn't explain
    well enough. 8^(
    
    Thanks for you 2 cents... 8^)
                                             .steve.

Steve,

Haman's Pockets (or Purses) is a good translation from Yiddish.  Haman's
Hat is not.  I have also heard people say that they are supposed to be
shaped like Haman's hat but everything that I have read says that they are
shaped like Haman's purse.  I don't remember the significance but you
should be able to find it in Arthur Waskow's _Seasons_of_Our_Joy_.  I can
check at home if you want.

Gavriel

    The Sepahrdic holiday cookbook I bought (which is fun!  Especially all
    the Passover cookies made from egg whites and ground nuts and spices -
    definitely do not taste like wet matzoh) also has Purim cookies that
    are supposed to look like Hamen's sandals - cut out in the shape of a
    foot, with straps.  I haven't tried to make those; I don't have a
    foot-shaped cookie cutter and they look like a lot of work otherwise.
    I don't remember what those cookies are called.  There was also a
    recipe for some pastry called "Hamensooren", which is probably "Hamen's
    ears" in Dutch?

    The significance of Haman's hat is supposed to be that he placed
    it on top of a pole and all who saw it were supposed to bow in
    obeisance as if they were in his presence.
    
    /Ed

>    From my days in Sunday school, I remember that these were meant
>    to signify Hamen's Hat, which was triangular in shape.  But what 
>    was the significance of his hat that makes it part of the holiday?
>    And what exactly did he do to the Jews?

Haman was King Ahashueros favorite advisor. Haman advised the king that the Jews
had their own law, didn't follow the king's law, and therefore were dangerous.
Haman offered a large payment to the king's treasury if he (Haman) would be
permitted to exterminate all the Jews in Babylonia and take possession of their
property.

Dave

    Well, its time to start purimg over our texts and preparing for this
    year's droshes, adarwise, before you know it we will have passedover
    the season for it.
                                        :^)
                                        Aaron

    (For instance, if one creates a worm, that reproduces itself all over
    the network, does one have to tithe based on the total number, or just
    those on cpus in Eretz Yisrael?)

        Although not as well known as the Cairo Geniza, the Geniza of
        Chelm has nevertheless been a source of some significant
        manuscripts for Purim droshes.  One that I recently came across
        is a lost commentary on the Mishna.  We know from carbon dating
        techniques that it is very ancient manuscript, at least 1800
        years old, give or take a couple of millenia.  The discovery also
        explains an unusual musical discovery.  Just as Handel was
        commissioned to write Judas Maccabaeus for a group of Jewish
        merchants, it appears that P.D.Q. Bach accepted a commission to
        write the Purim Torah Cantata, based on this manuscript.
        However, I am getting off on a tangent.
        
        As some of you know, one of the major sections of the Talmud is
        Nezikin ("Damages"), which deals with what, in English law, we
        call Torts.  It is subdivided into smaller sections, three of
        which are called Bava Kamma, Bava Metzia, Bava Batra (Aramaic for
        "First Gate", "Second Gate", "Third Gate").  The first one of
        these starts with a discussion of categories of damages.  The
        manuscript that I came across is also a commentary on this
        section.
        
        It is incomplete, but two different forms of the manuscript have
        been found.  One, in semi-Aramaic and pidgin-Hebrew, is titled
        Bava Palga.  What appears to be a partial translation into Ladino
        is called Bava Nada.   This is roughly equivalent to "the Missing
        Gate."  (Some translate it as "One door short of a gate," but
        that's a very free rendition.)
        
        It starts with the Mishna that says that there are four major
        categories of damagers:  the Ox (animate damagers), the Pit
        (inanimate, passive nusiances), The Despoiler (a rare word,
        equated with human being by some commentators), and Fire
        (inanimate, but active source of damage).  
        
        The Gemara of Bava Palga asks, Why does the Mishna give four
        categories of damages and not one or not five.  We learn, by
        examination, that most people have one hand on the end of each
        arm and each hand has five fingers.  Therefore, when we count we
        use the forefinger of one hand to count off the hand and fingers
        of the other.  Thus, the normal way to count is by groups of
        five.  Rav Pupik says that some count on the fingers of two hands
        and thus count by ten, but those who live in the north have to
        wear mittens and count by two.  Bar Nun taught that in Ethiopia
        they use toes as well and count by twenty.  From this we learn
        the importance of climate in computing.  How would we come to
        count in groups of four?  Zinfandel bar Gamay says that because
        of the lack of corkscrews it was necessary to open a bottle of
        wine by pushing in the stopper instead of pulling it out, and
        when the neck of the bottle was too narrow, their thumb became
        stuck.  This left only four fingers to count on.  Rav Shika never
        got his thumb stuck in the bottle and his students would say that
        we cannot count on Rav Shika today.  On what day was that?  They
        say Purim.  From this we learn that what we do on Purim others
        have done many times before.
        
        [ This is all of the manuscript that has been published, but
          even this little bit obfuscates valuable insights.]