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Conference taveng::bagels

Title:BAGELS and other things of Jewish interest
Notice:1.0 policy, 280.0 directory, 32.0 registration
Moderator:SMURF::FENSTER
Created:Mon Feb 03 1986
Last Modified:Thu Jun 05 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1524
Total number of notes:18709

653.0. "Single looking for community" by NOTIME::SACKS (Gerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085) Tue Mar 07 1989 17:22

    A friend has accepted a job at ZKO (Nashua, NH) and is looking for a
    Jewish community to live in.  He's a college hire. His requirements are:

	1. Young Jewish people (singles)
	2. Active Jewish community
	3. No more than 45 minute commute
	4. No more than $500 to share a 2-bdrm apt.

    Religiously, I'd call him conservadox (kosher, not shomer shabbat,
    fairly regular shul-goer).  While he was a coop, he lived in Lowell
    and Nashua, and wasn't happy with either, although I think he was
    comfortable with the level of observance at Montefiore Synagogue
    in Lowell.

    I wasn't able to suggest anyplace that meets all his requirements,
    but I stretched the commuting distance where vanpools are available,
    and came up with:

	1. Brookline/Brighton
	2. Cambridge
	3. Newton
	4. Lexington/Arlington

    I know there are lots of Jewish singles in the first two.  The only
    community I really know is Brookline/Brighton.

    He's expressed an interest in Cambridge and Newton.

    Could anybody provide other suggestions, or more information on
    Cambridge, Newton, and Arlington/Lexington?
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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653.1Taxing questionsNSSG::FEINSMITHI'm the NRATue Mar 07 1989 18:085
    If he is working in ZKO, then living in Mass. will increase his taxes 
    quite noticably (no personal income tax in NH). Unless that isn't a factor,
    he may want to stay north of the border.
                                 
    Eric
653.2May be tough for singlesRABBIT::SEIDMANAaron SeidmanTue Mar 07 1989 19:5822
    RE: 653.0

    Newton certainly has an active Jewish community, with several different
    synagogues/havurot, but I'm not sure how well he would do finding young
    singles.  It may also be difficult finding rental space, since it is a
    city with predominantly private homes.

    It might be worth his while to visit some of the congregations and see
    how he reacts to them.  (He should also try to get a copy of Jewish
    Boston.)

    Some of the Newton shuls are:

    Temple Reyim - Conservative
    Temple Emanuel - Conservative
    Congregation Mishkan Tefila - Conservative
    Congregation <name escapes me, it's on Ward St/Commonwealth> - Orthodox
    Shir Hadash - Reconstructionist
    Newton Egalitarian Minyan - Traditional
    Temple Shalom - Reform

                                        Aaron
653.3Beth-El in NewtonVINO::WEINERSamWed Mar 08 1989 00:469
    Beth-El Atereth Israel is the Orthodox shul at the west end of Ward
    St in Newton.  There is a new Rabbi so I can't say anything about
    him but generally I would classify it as modern Orthodox.
    Last time I was there, a lot of new folks had joined but it was
    mostly young families.
    
    There is also a much smaller shul around the corner on Morseland.
    Its after my time in Newton so I can't add any more.
    
653.4CSG::ROSENBLUHWed Mar 08 1989 13:3331
Tell him:

1) Commute time to ZK from Cambridge is ~50 minutes.

2) Considering his requirements, Brookline/Allston and Cambridge/Somerville
are far and away the best choices.

3) The difference between Brookline and Cambridge is as follows:
(Don't flame me; these are obviously highly generalized stereotypical comments.)
Among their 'conservadox' constituencies:
	Cambridge has lots of Harvard undergrads, some Harv. & MIT grads,
	relatively few single 'professional' working people, and VERY few
	young families w/ children.

	Brookline has some BU undergrads, some grad students from many area
	schools, some single yuppie-types (definitely more than Cambridge)
	and lots of young families w/ children.  Also, in Brookline he has
	a wider choice of shuls and easier access to kosher butchers, etc.

3) Rent is cheaper in Allston and Somerville, but it's not hard to find
a 2-bedroom for $1000 in Brookline or Cambridge either.

4) Allston is a good compromise - the part of it which is within easy 
walking distance of both Harvard Hillel and various Brookline ortho shuls.

5) I believe there is a commuter van from this area to ZK.

Finally, having lived 7 single and 1 married year in Cambridge (with absolutely
no regrets, personally), I believe most single non-student people would be 
happier living and 'looking' in Brookline, so that's what I would recommend
for him.
653.5DELNI::C_MILLERWed Mar 08 1989 15:2713
    I'd suggest he start reading the Jewish Advocate (you can buy single
    copies in the Brookline/Brighton/Cambrige newstand area).  They
    list apartments for rent, and people looking for Jewish roommates.
    
    The JCC in both Newton and Brighton has a VERY active singles
    organization.  They send out monthly lists of activities and put
    you on the mailing lists of other single Jewish organizations.
    
    As for location: anything beyond the Lexington/Concord area is fairly
    rural and not too Jewishy.  I have been investigating Nashua and
    found it caters more to young families.  I'd suggest he get into
    a house or roommate situation in the Arlington/Lexington area, the
    commute would be about 35-40 minutes up 128 to Rte 3 (Nashua).
653.6we need members...ASANA::CHERSONcan't think of one at the momentWed Mar 08 1989 15:439
re; .4

Kathy, you forgot to mention the Tremont St. Shul in Cambridge
(Temple Beth Shalom to the rest of the world).  We're always open to receive 
new members, single or not(and besides there are single women there also :-). 
You know of course that we are "conservadox" (what a term!)`, and besides 
there's Reb Moishe.

David
653.7Jewish Young Adult CenterCRUISE::SPEARLThu Mar 09 1989 15:2110
    A good place to meet young Jewish singles is "Centerpoint", formerly
    known as the Jewish Young Adult Center. It is in Brookline on Beacon
    St.  The telephone number is 617-566-5946. They publish a calender
    of events to be held during the course of each month.  There was
    and still should be a bulletin board at the center which has ads
    for apartments to share/roommates wanted.  The organization now
    has about 1000 members. The have a wide assortment of cultural,
    educational, sports and social activities.
    
    Simms
653.8Live near BrooklineBAGELS::SREBNICKBad pblm now? Wait 'til we solve it!Thu Mar 09 1989 17:5731
    And don't forget about Shabat Shalom Boston.  Synagogue Council
    in Newton would be helpful.
    
    FYI -- I have been a co-chairman of the United Synagogue (Conservative)
    Young Leadership (22-40 yr old) committee for several years.  Although
    there seems to be a great need for groups and activities for young
    singles, most synagogues don't have them. 
    
    The reason seems to be that most young singles are interested in
    purely social events with lots of people and lots of opportunity
    for meeting "significant others."  (I mean no disrespect, it just
    seems to be the general case.)  Small group activities are difficult
    to sustain.  Also, most young singles can't or don't want
    to afford memberships in synagogues; the married leadership of
    synagogues can't see the benefit in spending any time doing anything
    for singles because there's no membership money to support it.
    
    Temple Emunah in Lexington (spitting distance from "less expensive"
    communities such as Woburn, Waltham) has a nice service, a great
    Rabbi, and pleasant people.  As for social needs, stick with
    "Centerpoint" and Shabbat Shalom Boston, and other activities in
    Boston.
    
    Another suggestion: some recent college graduates end up as youth
    group chapter advisors.  For those who like this sort of thing,
    it can be a great way to meet friends & SO's (not the kids; I mean
    other advisors).  I have a lot of (now married) friends who met that
    way.  If your friend wants to do this, I can be contacted directly
    for more info and a possible shidduch.
    
    Dave
653.9BOSTON::SOHNMe &amp; Lou Reed - born today (3/2)Fri Mar 10 1989 14:5911
	Personally, I wouldn't recommend Allston. It's a student ghetto,
	and the quality of housing stock leaves much to be desired.

	Also personally, Cambridge makes me queasy, partly from the students
	and partly because of the infamous "Cambridge mentality"...

	Brookline and Newton are the safest bets. Brookline's more urban and
	urbane, as well as more accessible (B, C, and D lines are all close
	enough to walk to), but Newton's cheaper.

--axe--
653.10total weekly schlepping timeDELNI::GOLDSTEINRoom 101, Ministry of LoveFri Mar 10 1989 17:3416
    ZKO is a serious schlep from Brookline, more than 45 minutes if
    you drive anywhere near legally, even without traffic!  Newton's
    big; Auburndale is on 128 but that has heavy rush-hour traffic.
    
    I live in Arlington (Lexington line) and it's 30 minutes to LKG,
    probably about 40-45 to ZKO.  I can get to Brookline off-hours in
    about 20-25 minutes.  Since there's not much Jewish singles activity
    in the 128 area, it's still better to drive 25 minutes to Brookline
    a couple times a week than have to brave that schlep to ZKO every
    day.
    
    BTW, while it's not close to ZKO, Brighton (up the hill) is much
    less the student ghetto than Allston (down the hill) and quite a
    nice place to live.  Ward 21 Precinct 13 is about 90% Jewish, I think.
    The drive to Rt. 2 every day got to me, though.
        fred
653.11Brighton to ZKO's not so badNOTIME::SACKSGerald Sacks ZKO2-3/N30 DTN:381-2085Fri Mar 10 1989 18:303
    I live in Brighton (the heart of the ghetto) and work at ZKO.
    I vanpool from Newton.  It's a 20 minute drive, followed by a
    40 minute ride, during which I can read, study, sleep, etc.
653.12"Cambridge mentality"???ASANA::CHERSONBird livesMon Mar 13 1989 12:307
re: .9

I'd like to know what "Cambridge mentality" you are referring to.  Despite
the "attractions" of communities like Brookline and Newton they're pretty
sterile compared to Cambridge.

David 
653.13Cambridge by farACESMK::FRANCUSMets in '89Tue Mar 14 1989 19:4518
    I live in Cambridge, work in MKO (Merrimack) and it takes me about
    an hour to work, 50 minutes from work. I live near Harvard Square
    and to get to ZK is about 45 minutes. 
    
    I had the same decision to make about a year ago and chose Cambridge
    because it had a much nicer mix then what I saw in Brookiline.
    Cambridge has lots of young working singles while Brookline seemed
    to be more of a "married with kids" kind of place. This is not to
    denigrate one or the other, just the facts. So I chose Cambridge,
    I have a car so I can get to Brookline if I need something from
    there, I usually go to Harvard Hillel - which has many minyanim
    of all varieties. 
    
    You get the drift. I would make the same choice all over again and
    it would be as clear a choice as when I first made it.
    
    yoseff
    
653.14How about two homes???ACESMK::MALMBERGMon Mar 27 1989 17:0041
    Before I was married a year ago, I lived sampled several of the
    above-mentioned communities!
    
    I lived in Brookline when I first came to Boston in 1981 I was married
    to a BU professor at the time).  When I was divorced six years ago,
    I moved to Cambridge to an inexpensive sublet (of someone on sabbatical)
    for a year.  I attended Harvard Hillel and was working in Lexington.
    I found it hard to meet people at Harvard Hillel, even though friends
    had introduced me to a number of people who regularly attend services
    there.
    
    When my sublet was drawing to its end, I used the excellent housing
    listings at Harvard Hillel to find another place to live.  What I
    discovered was that the mix of roommates is what makes or breaks
    the living situation.  Established roommates make it much easier
    to meet new people.  I lived in Allston for several years, then
    bought a condominium in Brookline and lived alone.  Brookline worked
    for me because it is safer and the apartments are nicer than Allston,
    but the friends I had met through my roommates in Allston were quite
    important.  I would not say that simply a congregation or the singles
    mixers (yes, I went to those too) work unless the fellow is a very
    out-going person, so a living situation with a few people willing
    to help him meet new people is important. 
    
    Another place to meet people is Israeli dancing at MIT -- even if
    he does not think he is graceful enough!  The people are nice and
    friendly and helpful and it is good exercise.
    
    One last suggestion -- just before I was married I changed DEC jobs
    from the Boston sales office to here in Merrimack.  I had a hard
    choice (and no plans to marry) because people said it is not easy
    to live in New Hampshire as a Jewish single.  The decision I made
    was to continue to live in Brookline, but get a 'pied a terre' (sp?)
    in New Hampshire.  I would change my legal residence to New Hampshire
    and the savings in income taxes and automobile insurance paid for
    the extra living space because I could get an inexpensive shared
    apartment here.  This would minimize the commute during the week
    and at the same time allow me continue to live in my Jewish community.
    
    Yours,
    Meredith