Conference taveng::bagels

39.0. "Jewish Humor" by CADCAM::MAHLER () Wed Oct 30 1985 19:15

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             23-AUG-1985 12:44 
 Note 10.0                     -< Jewish Humor >-                  26 responses 
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How about a little Jewish humor? I have a small collection of Jewish
jokes that I would like to post here from time.  My personal feeling is
that these jokes, told under the proper circumstances, are not
offensive. If you have any jokes you would like to add please do so.  If
you find them offensive, start another note and we can discuss it.

			Shalom,
				Fred


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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             23-AUG-1985 12:44 
 Note 10.1                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       1 of 26 
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			** Jewish Revenge **

Abe was on his deathbed, the pallor of eternal rest already on his face.
Jake, his bussiness partner, hovered over him.

"Jake, I have a terrible confession to make," Abe said weakly. "I repent
for my sins-truly, I'm sorry."

"What could you have done that was so bad?"

"Remember when someone robbed our company of $75,000 while you were on
vacation? It was I who took the money."

"That's all right," soothed Jake. "This is no time to think of things
like that."

"And when you created that new pattern that would have put us ahead of every
other garment maker in the country, it was I who stole the drawings and sold
them to our competitor before our own company could get it on the market."

"Shah! Shah! Try to rest," crooned Jake.

"And that time a private detective caught you in that hotel with our head
model-it was I who tipped off your wife so she could get evidence for the
divorce." Abe was now sobbing with remorse. "Oh, Jake, please forgive
me before I die!"

"What's to forgive?" answered Jake. "Who do you think poisoned you!"

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             29-AUG-1985 13:32 
 Note 10.2                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       2 of 26 
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The typical Jewish mother confronted with her daughter's sudden elopement:

Rosie telephones her house with some breathtaking news:
"Mama, I got married."
"Mazel Tov!"
"I might as well tell you, he's a goy."
"So he's a goy! I'm prejudiced?"
"But, Mama, he's also a Negro."
"All right, he's a schvartzeh. By me everybody should be tolerant."
"Well, frankly, Mama, he's unemployed."
"Nu, so you'll support him. A wife, she should help her husband."
"But, Mama, we have no place to live."
"Don't worry, Rosie darling. You'll stay right here in our house."
"But you only have one bedroom."
"That's all right. You and your new husband can sleep in the bedroom and
 Papa can sleep on the sofa in the living room."
"Yes, but, Mama, where will you sleep?"
"Rosie dear, about me you got nothing to worry. The minute I'm hanging up
I'll drop dead!"

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             30-AUG-1985 12:46 
 Note 10.3                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       3 of 26 
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An ancient and hallowed tale goes back to about 100 b.c.e., when Jerusalem
was held captive by the mighty Roman Empire:

Eleazer Bokar appeared at the gates of Heaven and knocked for admittance. The
great doors slowly swung open and the patriarch Abraham stepped out, blowing
his golden trumpet. When he finished the welcoming concerto, he addressed
Eleazer:

"Greetings, blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh. G-D awaits you."

Eleazer, naturally enough, was overawed by the splendor of this welcome, but
he quickly gathered his wits. "Father Abraham," he said boldly, "I am ready
to meet our G-D."

Eleazer stepped forward to enter the celestial portals, but patriarch Abraham
halted him with an imperious, upflung palm. "Wait, my brother! Before you
enter G-D's kingdom, you must be worthy of the honor."

"How can I prove my worthiness?"

"You must show that, at least once in your mortal life, you displayed
outstanding courage. Can you recall one unquestionably brave deed?"

Eleazer's face brightened. "Yes, I can. I remember once I went to the Roman
Consul's palace and I met him face to face. He was surrounded by dozens of
legionnaires, all of them armed to the teeth, but I simply ignored them. I
told him that he was a camel's behind, a vulture feeding on the bones of
Jerusalem's oppressed people and a persecutor of Jews.Then I spat in his face."

Abraham was immensely impressed. "I must agree, that was an extremely brave
thing to do-considering all the armed guards who were present, and knowing
of the Roman Consul's hatred for the Jews. Yes, my brother, you certainly
have earned admittance into Paradise, but tell me, when did all this happen?"

"Oh", replied Eleazer casually, "about three or four minutes ago."

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              3-SEP-1985 08:17 
 Note 10.4                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       4 of 26 
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A Mohammedan emigrated to America sixty years ago and accumulated great
wealth. Upon his death the rich man's will stipulated that his hundred-
million-dollar bequest was to be divided equally among his three closest
friends; a Catholic, a Protestant and a Jew. There was only one small
provision: each of the heirs was required to deposit one hundred dollars
in the coffin before it was lowered into the ground. This act, according
to the deceased's statement, was to prove their good faith while the will
was in probate.

As the coffin was about to be closed for the last time, the Catholic quickly
deposited his hundred dollars inside the casket. The Protestant followed
suit and placed his hundred dollars beside the Catholic's money. Then the
Jew reached into the coffin, withdrew the two hundred dollars and replaced
it with a check for three hundred.

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              4-SEP-1985 12:46 
 Note 10.5                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       5 of 26 
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The early telephones were primitive devices compared to the sophisticated
electronic devices of today. Especially crude were the phones in a little
town in Belgrade at the turn of the century.

It is told that Rabbi Gronsky was called to the house of a critically sick
man who died within minutes of the good rabbi's arrival. It befell him to
inform the deceased's relatives, but he was at a loss as to how to use the
telephone. He asked one of those present how to operate it.

"First you crank the handle with one hand," he was told. "Then you hold the
phone close to your ear with the other hand."

"What!" cried Rabbi Gronsky. "Then what will I talk with?"

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 TAV02::ROSENMAN               The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 02:58 
 Note 10.6                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       6 of 26 
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A riddle-
What's red,hangs on a wall,and whistles?
Answer- A herring.
But wait a herring is not red...so you can paint it red.
And a herring doesn't hang on the wall...so you can hang it up.
But it doesn't whistle...so you want everything!

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 TAV02::ROSENMAN               The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 03:00 
 Note 10.7                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       7 of 26 
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Do you know about the new Jewish disease MAIDS?
Without one you die.

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 BZERKR::THOMPSON              The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 10:02 
 Note 10.8                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       8 of 26 
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RE: .7 Forgive a poor goy, but I don't get it.

Alfred

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 CADET::MAHLER                 The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 10:18 
 Note 10.9                     -< Jewish Humor >-                       9 of 26 
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Sounds like a Lawn-Guy_land based joke to me !! (Five -towns to be sure.)
Mike


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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 12:43 
 Note 10.10                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      10 of 26 
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	What does a JAP make for dinner?


		Reservations!

*******************************************************************


	How many JAPs does it take to change a light bulb?


	None. "Mama will do it for me."

*******************************************************************


	How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

	None. "I can sit in the dark."

*******************************************************************

	[WARNING - THIS JOKE MAY BE CONSIDERED VULGAR]

	What is the difference between a JAP and a bowl of jello?


	The jello wiggles when you eat it!!!


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 CADCAM::MAHLER                The Chosen Ones...              5-SEP-1985 12:53 
 Note 10.11                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      11 of 26 
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How do you know when a JAP is having an orgasm ?

She drops her emory board.




What's a JAP's favorite wine ?

I wanna go to Florida.











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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              6-SEP-1985 08:12 
 Note 10.12                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      12 of 26 
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Sammy had joined the Catholic Church on the condition that he would henceforth
obey all the laws governing Catholicism.

"Remember," warned the priest, "you are forbidden to eat meat on Fridays."

"OK, I'll remember," Sammy promised.

But the priest had reservations about the new convert, so on the following
Friday he paid a unannounced visit to the man's house. As he had somehow
guessed, the former Jew was consuming a huge steak.

"This is disgraceful!" cried the indignant priest. "Didn't you promise to
abstain from eating meat on Fridays?"

"Meat? Who's eating meat?" answered the other blandly."This is gefilteh fish."

"You must take me for a fool!" snapped the outraged priest. "How can anyone
make fish out of meat?"

"The same way you made a Catholic out of a Jew,"answered the convert smoothly.

"I sprinkled water on it!"

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 DUBSWS::D_OSULLIVAN           The Chosen Ones...              6-SEP-1985 09:31 
 Note 10.13                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      13 of 26 
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This is in a similiar vein to .4...

A protestant vicar, a catholic priest and a jewish rabbi are
sitting together exchanging information on how they divide their
collection money between themselves and God.

The vicar: "I simply count up the money and divide it by 2; one
half for myself and the other for God."

The priest: "I draw a line down the center of the floor and throw
the money over it; what's on the left is for myself and what's on
the right is for God."

The rabbi: "I take the money and throw it up in the air; what
stays up is God's and what comes down is mine."

/Dermot

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              9-SEP-1985 11:34 
 Note 10.14                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      14 of 26 
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A bearded Jew, attired in old-fashion garb, had some personal business which
required that he leave his ghetto neighborhood. That afternoon he found
himself in an exclusive area of New York's "silk stocking" district.

Feeling hungry, he entered a posh restaurant, but as soon as he was seated he
was approached by a haughty waiter.

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve Jews here."

"Don't let that trouble you," said the old man placidly, "I dont eat Jews!"

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             10-SEP-1985 13:03 
 Note 10.15                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      15 of 26 
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Papa called at the General Delivery window of the local post office. The
clerk glanced through th mail and held up a parcel. "I don't know whether
this package is for you or not. The name is obliterated."

"No, that not my name," said Papa. "It's Shapiro."


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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             11-SEP-1985 12:05 
 Note 10.16                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      16 of 26 
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It was the first day of Passover, a lovely spring morning in Chicago. In his
car, a sports-minded young rabbi sped along the Outer Drive, anxious to arrive
at the synagogue in plenty of time for the Passover services. But as he drove
by the South Side Country Club he was seized with an overwhelming urge to play
a few rounds of golf. "What will it hurt?" he thought. "I have an hour or so
before I'll be needed at the temple." Of course, it was an act of sacrilege,
but no one in his congregation was anywhere near the golf course and it was
highly unlikely he would be found out. Somewhat guiltily he went into the
locker room, selected some clubs and then strolled out to the green where he
teed up a ball and began to enjoy himself.

But his every action had been observed. High above, the patriarch Abraham had
seen the rabbi swerve from the straight and narrow,and he phoned G-d who lived
in a nearby exclusive section of heaven. "I don't want to seem like a busybody
Boss, but as G-d is my witness I just saw a rabbi playing golf-and here it is
Passover, too."

"Don't call me `Boss,'" said G-d testily, "and stop taking my name in vain. I
know all about that rabbi. You think I need secondhand information? You leave
that rabbi to me. I'll punish him good."

Meanwhile the rabbi was enjoying himself immensely. He took careful aim, hit
the ball squarely and it rolled into the cup on the other end of the fairway-
a beautiful hole in one!!!!!.

The patriarch Abraham roared in righteous anger. Grabbing the phone he voiced
his indignation to G-d. "What kind of punishment do you call this?" he cried.
"Here a rabbi plays golf on Passover when he should be in synagogue with his
congregation, and what do you do? You actually reward him with a hole in one."

When G-d answered, his voice was infinitely patient:
		   "So, tell me, Abe, who can he tell?"

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             12-SEP-1985 13:13 
 Note 10.17                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      17 of 26 
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The governor of the state held a banquet to which he invited civic and
religious leaders, including the chief rabbi and the cardinal. The chef,
though a gentile, was a considerate man, and went to great lengths to provide
kosher food for the rabbi. But the cardinal was inclined to amuse himself
at his Jewish colleague's expense.

"Have a piece of pork, Rabbi," said the cardinal. "And try some of this
ham, too."

"Your Eminence," replied the rabbi, surely you know that our people may not
eat non-kosher food."

"What a pity," grinned the prelate. "It's delicious!"

When the meal was over and the speakers had finished their orations, the rabbi
turned to the cardinal.

"Your Eminence," he said evenly, "please be kind enough to convey my greetings
to your wife."

The cardinal drew himself up. "Dont you know that a priest is forbidden to
have a wife?"

"What a pity," smiled the rabbi. "It's delicious!"

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 VIRGIN::SHRAGER               The Chosen Ones...             13-SEP-1985 07:14 
 Note 10.18                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      18 of 26 
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This could be the longest notesfile ever.

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheeta be?

(a fur coat)


Why don't barracuda bite JAPs?

(professional courtesy)


What's the difference between JAPs and Sharks?

(nail polish)

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 FORTY2::ELLIS                 The Chosen Ones...             19-SEP-1985 18:03 
 Note 10.19                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      19 of 26 
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Here's a few Jewish jokes from across the Water ...

1.  Hymie comes home after a day's work and calls out to his wife :
    "Sadie, I'm home!", and a little voice comes back
    "I'm hiding!"
    "Where are you, Sadie?"
    "I'm hiding!"
    "Come along, now Sadie.  Stop messing about!"
    "I'm hiding!"
    "Sadie, I've got something for you"
    "I'm hiding!"
    "I've brought you a present"
    "I'm hiding!"
    "You know those nice earrings you liked in Mr. Cohen's window...?"
    "I'm hiding................in the cupboard under the stairs!"

2.  (This one's a bit rude!)  Hymie and Sadie haven't made love for years, and
    Hymie's beginning to get a little desperate, so he goes to his friend and
    says, "Moishe, vot am I goink to do?  Sadie von't make love to me anymore!".
    His good friend replies, "Get her somesing really nice...she'll be so
    grateful, she'll do anything!".  So Hymie goes home and gives his wife a
    fur coat.  She's so overwhelmed, she spent the whole evening prancing round
    the house, eventually exhausting herself, and Hymie got nothing!  The next
    night, he takes her a diamond eternity ring, but the same thing happened.
    Poor Hymie!  The next night, he gives her a huge box, gift-wrapped, bow on
    top, the works.  Sadie carefully undoes the wrapping, takes off the lid,
    and inside are 10 little kittens, all wearing a kippal.  She looks at them,
    and then at Hymie, and says, "Hymie, they're lovely, but vot is zis?", to
    which he replies, "It's a minyon for your dead pussy!"

3.  Abe comes home unexpectedly in the middle of the day to find his wife with
    nothing on.  "What is this?" he exclaims. "Why aren't you wearing anything?"
    "I'm not wearing anything, because I don't have anything to wear!", replies
    his wife.  "Nothing to wear!  Come and have a look in your wardrobe, Sarah!
    ...Are you blind, woman?  You've got your red dress, there's your blue one,
    and your green dress, your yellow, hello Moishe, your mauve, your pink..."


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 FORTY2::ELLIS                 The Chosen Ones...             20-SEP-1985 15:21 
 Note 10.20                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      20 of 26 
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Having just read the "Jews for Jesus" section, it has reminded me of (yet)
another joke...

A Rabbi and a Preist were talking about the course of their religious careers.

Rabbi  : How did you start, my friend?
Priest : I started off as a monk.  What about you?
Rabbi  : Well, I went to a Yeshiva.  What did you do then?
Priest : Then I became a Priest.  You?
Rabbi  : A Rabbi.  So what's the next step?
Priest : I could become a Bishop, I s'pose.
Rabbi  : Yes, and I'll be the Rabbi of the whole of London.
Priest : After that, I'll probably get to be a Cardinal.
Rabbi  : And I'll be the Chief Rabbi of England!  Where do you go from Cardinal?
Priest : Pope, I assume.  And you?
Rabbi  : Chief Rabbi of the world, I should imagine.

Following a brief pause in their conversation, the Rabbi continued :
- I suppose that after becoming Pope, you then get to be Jesus Christ!
The Priest was most shocked and said very angrily :
- NO-ONE gets to be Jesus Christ!
To which the Rabbi replied :
- Well, one of OUR boys made it!!!


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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             23-SEP-1985 12:11 
 Note 10.21                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      21 of 26 
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Wille Johnson invited his little Jewish friend, Izzie to attend the Sunday
School class at the local Baptist Church. The subject for that day was "love,"
and in order to arouse the interest of her pupils, the teacher offered a prize
of twenty-five cents to the child whose answers were most correct.

"Whom does our religion teach us to love above all others?" the teacher
asked, opening the class discussion.

"Our mothers," said a little girl.

"Our fathers," said Willie Johnson.

The teacher shook her head. "It is true that our religion teaches us to love
our parents," she said, "but there is one other whom we must love even more."

"George Washington?" asked one of the boys.

The Jewish boy raised his hand. "I know the answer," he said.You mean Jesus Ch
rist."

"Correct!" exclaimed the teacher. "Step forward and get your twenty-five
cents. What's your name?"

"Izzie Eisenstein."

"Aren't you Jewish?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Why, I think it is marvelous that even a Jewish boy knows we must love Jesus
above everybody else. How did you happen to think of it, young man?"

"Well, lady, actually I thought of Moses," muttered Izzie, pocketing the
twenty-five cents, "but business is business!"

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 VIRGIN::SHRAGER               The Chosen Ones...             24-SEP-1985 06:14 
 Note 10.22                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      22 of 26 
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Priest vs Rabbi (both riding on a train):

Priest: Tell me, have you ever eaten pork?
Rabbi:  (flushed) Well, in truth yes, once as a student.
Rabbi:  Have you ever had intercourse with a woman?
Priest: (flushed) Well, since you were honest, yes. Also when I was a student.
Rabbi:  Hell-uva lot better that pork isn't it?

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 JOEL::BERMAN                  The Chosen Ones...             24-SEP-1985 09:36 
 Note 10.23                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      23 of 26 
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My favorite for the day before Yom Kippur.

In some communities it is traditional to hold an auction before yom kippur.
Honors like opening the Ark, reading from the Torah etc. are auctioned to
raise money.


Cohen and Sullivan, two partners, are going to a meeting when Cohen says
"I have to make a short stop at my synagogue". Sullivan goes with him and
the auction is almost over. Neilah is being auctioned and Cohen stands up
and yells "10 Dollars". Sullivan immediately jumps up and yells "50 dollars".

Cohen looks at him and says "Why did you do that? You don't even know what
is going on." SUllivan replies "If you offered 10, I know it must be worth
at least 100".
/joel

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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...              3-OCT-1985 11:48 
 Note 10.24                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      24 of 26 
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For a month the shadchan (professional matchmaker) had benn extolling the many
virtues of a young lady, until finally the prospective bridegroom became
deeply interested. So the marriage broker arranged for the youth to meet the
girl at a party at her parents' home.

But when the young man laid eyes on the intended bride his heart sank - and he
blazed inwardly at the perfidious, lying broker.

All through dinner he maintained his composure, but at the first opportunity
he drew the shadchan aside and hissed fiercely in his ear:

"You fraud! You swindler! What did I ever do to you that you should fool me
like this? Do you need the fee so badly? Why, this women is a good twenty
years older than I am. And that face-she should charge admission to look at
it. Better yet, she should nail a board over it. And she's so near-sighted
she squints. She has no teeth, she......."

"You dont have to wisper," interrupted the shadchan, "She's deaf, too!"

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 FORTY2::ELLIS                 The Chosen Ones...              3-OCT-1985 19:31 
 Note 10.25                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      25 of 26 
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The last joke (24) reminded me of a similar one...

A shadchan goes up to a prospective bridegroom and says "Have I got a girl for
you!"  He continues : "She's short, she's fat, she's ugly, she's short-sighted,
half deaf, and you won't be able to stand the sight of her!".  The bridegroom
replies "So that's such a catch?!  She sounds revolting!  What makes you think
I'll take her?".  The shadchan puts forward the girl's best attribute "She's
got a speech defect.......She can't say 'No!'"


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 GRAMPS::LISS                  The Chosen Ones...             16-OCT-1985 13:11 
 Note 10.26                    -< Jewish Humor >-                      26 of 26 
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During the Second World War, a Mississippi dowager, product of an old
Southern family still living in the ante-bellum age, decided to invite three
soldiers at the nearby training camp to celebrate Thanksgiving at her colonial
mansion.

She telephoned the camp and was reffered to the lieutenant in charge of
personnel.

"Lieutenant," she crooned, "send me three nice, lonely boys. It doesnt make
any difference whether they are Northerners or Southerners, just as long as
they aren't Jewish. No Jews, if you please!"

"Thank you, Ma'am," said the lieutennant. "You are a generous woman, and on
behalf of the Army, I want to thank you."

On Thanksgiving Day a knock sounded on the door and when the lady went to
admit the boys, there on the threshold stood three of the blackest Negro
youths she had ever seen.

"B-b-but...there m-must be some mistake," she gasped, completely flustered.

"Oh no, ma'am," one of the young men assured her.
Lieutenant Goldstein never makes mistakes!"

It was winter.  A rumor went around town that there had been a meat 
delivery.  A long line formed outside the butcher shop.

One hour went by, two, three.  Finally at 11 o'clock the manager
announced, "Comrades, we have meat but not enough for everybody.  Would
all the Jews please leave?"  The line was significantly reduced. 

At 1 o'clock the door opened again.  "Comrades, we have meat but not 
enough for everybody.  Would all non-Party members please leave?"  
Again the line was significantly reduced.  

At 3 o'clock the door opened again.  "Comrades, we have meat but not 
enough for everybody.  Would all those who did not take part in the 
Great War of the Fatherland please leave?"

At 5 o'clock the door opened again.  "Comrades, we have meat but not 
enough for everybody.  Would all those who did not take part in the 
overthrow of the Czar please leave?"  There were only three half-frozen 
old men left.  

At 8 o'clock the door opened again.  "Comrades, there won't be any 
meat."  

The old men moved off grumbling: "The Jews always get the best of 
everything." 


From the book "Russia Dies Laughing" by Zhanna Dolgopolova.  [As seen 
in the World Press Review, September, 1982.]

Alex Conn

From:	DITTO::CORWIN       "$X replace-string ARGUS $ DITTO $" 18-FEB-1986 14:45
To:	NONAME::MAHLER
Subj:	you can post to Bagels if you want to

- - - - - - - Begin message from: decwrl!decvax!ittatc!dcdwest!sdcsvax!ucbvax!brahms!gsmith
Newsgroups: net.jokes.d,net.women
From: decwrl!decvax!ittatc!dcdwest!sdcsvax!ucbvax!brahms!gsmith
Subject: JAP jokes
Posted: 15 Feb 86 09:41:05 GMT
Organization: University of California, Berkeley
Keywords: Jewish, American, Princess
Xref: decwrl net.jokes.d:1443 net.women:9361
 
 
  The following article is reprinted (without permission) from the
Friday 14 Feb 1986 San Francisco Chronicle in its entirety.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
                    "Behind Jewish Princess Jokes"
                          by Michael Taylor
 
  Q: What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
  A: Reservations.
 
  A Berkeley professor who studied thousands of Jewish American Princess
jokes over the past five years has concluded that such jokes are an attack
on women and feminism.
 
  Alan Dundes, a professor of folklore at the University of California,
said young Jewish women are depicted as selfish brats because the tellers
of the jokes may feel "threatened" by feminism.
 
  Dundes reported on his study in the current issue of the Journal of
American Folklore.
 
  In such jokes, popular in the United States since the late 1970s, the
Jewish American Princess hates to eat, loves to shop and rarely agrees
to have sex with her husband.  "Why does a Jewish American Princess close
her eyes during sex?  So she can pretend she is shopping."
 
  The professor discounted widely held theories that such jokes are anti-
Semitic.  He found, instead, that the jokes are anti-women.
 
  "I suspect that the jokes may be a reflection of anti-feminism," saidDundes.  "(They) came into favor at a time when women's liberation and
feminist ideology were becoming increasingly well known and may have been
regarded as threatening by old-order male chauvinists."
 
  Many of the jokes were sexually explicit.  One of the most well-known
suggests that, to keep a Jewish girl from making love, you marry her.
 
  "From the mail point of view," Dundes wrote, "the (Jewish American
Princess) represents the modern woman who wants to be taken care of
but who doesn't want to cook or participate willingly in sexual inter-
course.  She seems to be all take and no give!  This may be why some
of the ... joke texts project what appears to be unadulterated male
misogynistic hostility."
 
  Dundes, a noted authority on contemporary American folklore, also
found that the princess cannot "be understood in isolation from the
Jewish American Mother."
 
  Dundes' sources for his report include such disparate volumes as
"The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry," "Portnoy's Complaint,"
"Gross Jokes," "Totally Gross Jokes," "Utterly Gross Jokes."
 
  The 59 scholarly citations in the study range from "Unreal Humor of
the Kugel and Bagel" to "The Culture of the Shtetl."
 
  The professor found what such storytellers as Myron Cohen and Jackie
Mason have been telling audiences for years in less august terms: that
the Jewish mother is "overly solicitous of her children's welfare
(especially her son's health)" and wants "her daughters to marry well
(preferably doctors or lawyers)."
 
  What she frequently gets for a child is the Jewish American Princess,
who "is spoiled, and spoiled rotten," Dundes wrote.
 
  "What is a Jewish American Princess' favorite wine?" "I wanna go to
Hawaii."
 
  In the end, Dundes finds that this all "is much more than a Jewish
issue."
 
  The Jewish mother can be "any American mother ignorant of the possible
ill effects of overindulging her children," just as any "indulged child-
ren ... may grow up to be Jewish American Princesses."
 
  The article, incidentally, is dedicated to Dundes' "Jewish mother and
my two Jewish American Princess daughters."
 
ucbvax!brahms!gsmith    Gene Ward Smith/UCB Math Dept/Berkeley CA 94720
ucbvax!weyl!gsmith      "When Ubizmo talks, people listen."

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    hi,
    	do you know any 'geshmat' jokes?
    
    	I'm reading a book at the moment that mentions them as being
    'popular' during '47-48.
    
    	So, does anybody know any that they are willing to share?
    
    hazza :*]